Tired of explaining my diet to people
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paulawatkins1974 wrote: »
This makes total sense. To me, chinese food WOULD be worth it. But I agree if something isn't worth it, no way would I be wasting extra calories on that, just to be polite. No way. "Indulgence meals" are too precious, and rare.You guys are all cracking me up, this is awesome. I feel like I should give some color to what sort of precipitated this aggravation. My in-laws are brining over Chinese food tonight and tonight is my cherished cheat meal night and Chinese food is simply not cheat worthy so it's causing family strife that I told them not to bring me any and I will get my own food, which is what opens up the "diet" discussion. My husband is mad at me for being rude, and my in laws are still trying to get me to tell them what I want from the Chinese restaurant.
And herein lies the problem.
You can fit chinese food into your calories and it wouldn't be an "indulgence meal."0 -
Just keep saying no to everything all the time and they'll stop asking after a while. Simply say you aren't hungry if they question you. I've made it a point to not eat any treats that are brought into work, whether or not they're offered to me, so people don't even bother offering me anything unless it's fruit, veg, or something similarly healthy.
However, if I'm a guest at someone's house, even though I typically don't eat any red meat, dairy, soy, or gluten, I will eat what they're serving without question. It's not an every day thing and I think it's rude to expect someone to cook something special for you or not eat a meal they worked hard to prepare for you.0 -
I'm glad I'm at a point where family and close friends get it. It's still an issue at things like neighborhood parties, stuff with people I don't interact with all the time. Probably the only time there's an upside to having a weird food allergy. 9 times out of 10, if I ask someone if any of their ingredients included it, they don't even know what it is, let alone if it was on the label of anything they used. Yeah, that's why I'm not eating your food, no offense. It saves me the trouble of listing all the other things I can't have and them trying to negotiate that they didn't use "that much" of it, or that just a taste wouldn't hurt.0
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You guys are all cracking me up, this is awesome. I feel like I should give some color to what sort of precipitated this aggravation. My in-laws are brining over Chinese food tonight and tonight is my cherished cheat meal night and Chinese food is simply not cheat worthy so it's causing family strife that I told them not to bring me any and I will get my own food, which is what opens up the "diet" discussion. My husband is mad at me for being rude, and my in laws are still trying to get me to tell them what I want from the Chinese restaurant.
Forgive me, I haven't read all of the responses yet. But you can't find something on the menu that would fit into whatever goals you have, eat that tonight, and have your "cheat meal" rescheduled to tomorrow?0 -
When people offer me food I just tell them I'm Allergic to that. Only once has someone asked me what happens if you eat it. To that one person I said "It will make me Fat".
Please please please don't use "I'm allergic" as an excuse when you really arent. This diminishes the severity of actual allergies. People will see you eat XY and Z even though you claim to be allergic to ingredient X and assume that it is safe for someone who truly has an allergy. I can't tell you how many times I have heard "well so and so is allergic but they can eat it" as a reason I should eat something that could kill me. Please don't lie about medical issues.0 -
maybe you should hang with different people.0
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pasandoval wrote: »maybe you should hang with different people.
Yes, she should just get a divorce. Sounds reasonable.
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I don't think I have ever had to explain my diet to people. I have had to tell them when they say "one won't hurt", "maybe not, if I could just stick with the one. I would rather not feel bad tomorrow for it". Also, I do have problems with them saying I don't need to lose anymore weight. I explain my healthy weight is around 140, I am 166 so I still have work. I will know when I am done.0
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bethfartman wrote: »However, if I'm a guest at someone's house, even though I typically don't eat any red meat, dairy, soy, or gluten, I will eat what they're serving without question. It's not an every day thing and I think it's rude to expect someone to cook something special for you or not eat a meal they worked hard to prepare for you.
But the OP's inlaws are buying food from a restaurant!
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KarenFord1988 wrote: »I totally understand and get frustrated with it myself sometimes. I even get laughed at by my friends for not ordering straight off the menu, making modifications, and weighing my food. But you know what? If they keep on prodding and poking, I just say, "Look at you and look at me. Who's doing it right?" That usually shuts them up. I'm also tired of people saying, "Don't get too skinny." That's none of their business, first off, but it makes me feel like saying to them, "Don't get too fat." But that's not "politically correct."
I had a very similar conversation with a friend after a colleague asked "When will you stop losing weight? You're so skinny already!" I asked my friend why that's ok but if I said "When will you stop gaining weight? You're so fat already!" I'd be in front of a disciplinary hearing.
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srslybritt wrote: »You guys are all cracking me up, this is awesome. I feel like I should give some color to what sort of precipitated this aggravation. My in-laws are brining over Chinese food tonight and tonight is my cherished cheat meal night and Chinese food is simply not cheat worthy so it's causing family strife that I told them not to bring me any and I will get my own food, which is what opens up the "diet" discussion. My husband is mad at me for being rude, and my in laws are still trying to get me to tell them what I want from the Chinese restaurant.
Forgive me, I haven't read all of the responses yet. But you can't find something on the menu that would fit into whatever goals you have, eat that tonight, and have your "cheat meal" rescheduled to tomorrow?
Good suggestion.
With family, it is worth finding a compromise. This is good practice of problem-solving and moderation. Of course, it is appreciated when family members take your health needs seriously, although in my experience that often is not the case.
But yes, in general, you have every right to be assertive about what you will and will not eat.
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You guys are all cracking me up, this is awesome. I feel like I should give some color to what sort of precipitated this aggravation. My in-laws are brining over Chinese food tonight and tonight is my cherished cheat meal night and Chinese food is simply not cheat worthy so it's causing family strife that I told them not to bring me any and I will get my own food, which is what opens up the "diet" discussion. My husband is mad at me for being rude, and my in laws are still trying to get me to tell them what I want from the Chinese restaurant.
"Chinese" food is gross. Real Chinese food is good, but that nasty, gelatinous stuff they call Chinese food here is not good. You could just request consume soup. It's just a broth and it looks like you're joining in on the festivities.
... I can see it from both sides. I know you find it annoying, changing your eating habits is not an easy thing to do. But it is kind of rude to refuse all of it - you may as well not attend (go somewhere else?). They didn't ask you what kind of food you want, they asked you what you want from somewhere specific (as someone who has hosted for someone picky, I find that very annoying too and I no longer host for that person. You sure you want to make your in-laws who will be around for the rest of your life think you're annoying?).
They've chosen what is best for them to bring, and you should try to make the best of it. That's life. Request steamed veggies, consume soup, steamed white rice, etc. Eat to your typical deficit number and do your "precious cheat" the next day.0 -
Most people are understanding. When it comes to in-laws however, I think compromise is called for.
My most irritating conversation (this was when I was diabetic and had LOTS of restrictions) was at Christmas when a co-worker brought an abundant spread of treats to share with the office. I took one look and said "no thanks". She was offended, scowling and huffing back to her cubicle. I took a moment to explain my condition and that in an hour (when I was due a snack) I would be happy to come back and take a bite.
We live in a food-centric society when events are marked by eating and sharing. That's the way it is. I wish I didn't have to explain but sometimes I do.0 -
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it might be quite hard in the workplace. some people are just nasty. try to avoid them if you can. even harder with family/family friends.0
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FitFroglet wrote: »KarenFord1988 wrote: »I totally understand and get frustrated with it myself sometimes. I even get laughed at by my friends for not ordering straight off the menu, making modifications, and weighing my food. But you know what? If they keep on prodding and poking, I just say, "Look at you and look at me. Who's doing it right?" That usually shuts them up. I'm also tired of people saying, "Don't get too skinny." That's none of their business, first off, but it makes me feel like saying to them, "Don't get too fat." But that's not "politically correct."
I had a very similar conversation with a friend after a colleague asked "When will you stop losing weight? You're so skinny already!" I asked my friend why that's ok but if I said "When will you stop gaining weight? You're so fat already!" I'd be in front of a disciplinary hearing.
You should have said this to your colleague...0 -
NJGamerChick wrote: »FitFroglet wrote: »KarenFord1988 wrote: »I totally understand and get frustrated with it myself sometimes. I even get laughed at by my friends for not ordering straight off the menu, making modifications, and weighing my food. But you know what? If they keep on prodding and poking, I just say, "Look at you and look at me. Who's doing it right?" That usually shuts them up. I'm also tired of people saying, "Don't get too skinny." That's none of their business, first off, but it makes me feel like saying to them, "Don't get too fat." But that's not "politically correct."
I had a very similar conversation with a friend after a colleague asked "When will you stop losing weight? You're so skinny already!" I asked my friend why that's ok but if I said "When will you stop gaining weight? You're so fat already!" I'd be in front of a disciplinary hearing.
You should have said this to your colleague...
Great for office politics.
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I know the pain! Just tell them its your choice and you dont feel like discussing it0
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You guys are all cracking me up, this is awesome. I feel like I should give some color to what sort of precipitated this aggravation. My in-laws are brining over Chinese food tonight and tonight is my cherished cheat meal night and Chinese food is simply not cheat worthy so it's causing family strife that I told them not to bring me any and I will get my own food, which is what opens up the "diet" discussion. My husband is mad at me for being rude, and my in laws are still trying to get me to tell them what I want from the Chinese restaurant.
"Chinese" food is gross. Real Chinese food is good, but that nasty, gelatinous stuff they call Chinese food here is not good. You could just request consume soup. It's just a broth and it looks like you're joining in on the festivities.
... I can see it from both sides. I know you find it annoying, but it is kind of rude to refuse all of it - you may as well not attend (go somewhere else?). They didn't ask you what kind of food you want, they asked you what you want from somewhere specific. They've chosen what is best for them to bring, and you should try to make the best of it. That's life. Request steamed veggies, consume soup, etc. Eat to your typical deficit number and do your "precious cheat" the next day.
That's subjective.
Hahaha yes... sorry, I was just trying to say that particular stuff wouldn't be worth it to me either.
It's funny, I used to love it when I was a teenager and now I can't stand it (not even weight loss related).0 -
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NJGamerChick wrote: »FitFroglet wrote: »KarenFord1988 wrote: »I totally understand and get frustrated with it myself sometimes. I even get laughed at by my friends for not ordering straight off the menu, making modifications, and weighing my food. But you know what? If they keep on prodding and poking, I just say, "Look at you and look at me. Who's doing it right?" That usually shuts them up. I'm also tired of people saying, "Don't get too skinny." That's none of their business, first off, but it makes me feel like saying to them, "Don't get too fat." But that's not "politically correct."
I had a very similar conversation with a friend after a colleague asked "When will you stop losing weight? You're so skinny already!" I asked my friend why that's ok but if I said "When will you stop gaining weight? You're so fat already!" I'd be in front of a disciplinary hearing.
You should have said this to your colleague...
Great for office politics.
If said colleague doesn't see offence to the too skinny comment, it would then be hypocritical to see offence in a hypothetical questioning of it's opposite, no? I'm not saying call her fat and ask when she will stop gaining, but posing such a hypothetical might enlighten one to how such comment is a backhanded compliment.0 -
preciouskitten wrote: »Thats why I do flexible dieting. If it can fit within my macros for the day, then I'm going to enjoy it.
Even if you don't want it??0 -
NJGamerChick wrote: »NJGamerChick wrote: »FitFroglet wrote: »KarenFord1988 wrote: »I totally understand and get frustrated with it myself sometimes. I even get laughed at by my friends for not ordering straight off the menu, making modifications, and weighing my food. But you know what? If they keep on prodding and poking, I just say, "Look at you and look at me. Who's doing it right?" That usually shuts them up. I'm also tired of people saying, "Don't get too skinny." That's none of their business, first off, but it makes me feel like saying to them, "Don't get too fat." But that's not "politically correct."
I had a very similar conversation with a friend after a colleague asked "When will you stop losing weight? You're so skinny already!" I asked my friend why that's ok but if I said "When will you stop gaining weight? You're so fat already!" I'd be in front of a disciplinary hearing.
You should have said this to your colleague...
Great for office politics.
If said colleague doesn't see offence to the too skinny comment, it would then be hypocritical to see offence in a hypothetical questioning of it's opposite, no? I'm not saying call her fat and ask when she will stop gaining, but posing such a hypothetical might enlighten one to how such comment is a backhanded compliment.
LOL. You do that and see where it gets you.
Man, I'm so happy I don't get butt hurt over every comment tossed my way. It must be a stressful world to care so much about stupid things that mean nothing.
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When people offer me food I just tell them I'm Allergic to that. Only once has someone asked me what happens if you eat it. To that one person I said "It will make me Fat".
Please don't say you're allergic to something if you're not. I was poisoned (that's not too strong a word) by someone who thought "one bite wouldn't hurt me" because of adults who are unable to properly express their food preferences.
My next clinic bill is on you.0 -
You guys are all cracking me up, this is awesome. I feel like I should give some color to what sort of precipitated this aggravation. My in-laws are brining over Chinese food tonight and tonight is my cherished cheat meal night and Chinese food is simply not cheat worthy so it's causing family strife that I told them not to bring me any and I will get my own food, which is what opens up the "diet" discussion. My husband is mad at me for being rude, and my in laws are still trying to get me to tell them what I want from the Chinese restaurant.
"Chinese" food is gross. Real Chinese food is good, but that nasty, gelatinous stuff they call Chinese food here is not good. You could just request consume soup. It's just a broth and it looks like you're joining in on the festivities.
... I can see it from both sides. I know you find it annoying, but it is kind of rude to refuse all of it - you may as well not attend (go somewhere else?). They didn't ask you what kind of food you want, they asked you what you want from somewhere specific. They've chosen what is best for them to bring, and you should try to make the best of it. That's life. Request steamed veggies, consume soup, etc. Eat to your typical deficit number and do your "precious cheat" the next day.
That's subjective.
Damn straight.
I've had American Chinese food that was great and certainly not 'gelatinous', and I've had it where it was lousy.
I've had 'real Chinese food' that was great, and I've had it where it was lousy.
My advice to VeryKatie is to quit going to crappy Chinese restaurants. Admittedly, this is hard - the crappy ones vastly outnumber the good ones, at least around here.0 -
When people offer me food I just tell them I'm Allergic to that. Only once has someone asked me what happens if you eat it. To that one person I said "It will make me Fat".
Please please please don't use "I'm allergic" as an excuse when you really arent. This diminishes the severity of actual allergies. People will see you eat XY and Z even though you claim to be allergic to ingredient X and assume that it is safe for someone who truly has an allergy. I can't tell you how many times I have heard "well so and so is allergic but they can eat it" as a reason I should eat something that could kill me. Please don't lie about medical issues.
Hadn't read your response yet when I posted mine. Seriously, it makes me angry. That poster was far too old to pull that nonsense.0 -
You guys are all cracking me up, this is awesome. I feel like I should give some color to what sort of precipitated this aggravation. My in-laws are brining over Chinese food tonight and tonight is my cherished cheat meal night and Chinese food is simply not cheat worthy so it's causing family strife that I told them not to bring me any and I will get my own food, which is what opens up the "diet" discussion. My husband is mad at me for being rude, and my in laws are still trying to get me to tell them what I want from the Chinese restaurant.
"Chinese" food is gross. Real Chinese food is good, but that nasty, gelatinous stuff they call Chinese food here is not good. You could just request consume soup. It's just a broth and it looks like you're joining in on the festivities.
... I can see it from both sides. I know you find it annoying, but it is kind of rude to refuse all of it - you may as well not attend (go somewhere else?). They didn't ask you what kind of food you want, they asked you what you want from somewhere specific. They've chosen what is best for them to bring, and you should try to make the best of it. That's life. Request steamed veggies, consume soup, etc. Eat to your typical deficit number and do your "precious cheat" the next day.
That's subjective.
Damn straight.
I've had American Chinese food that was great and certainly not 'gelatinous', and I've had it where it was lousy.
I've had 'real Chinese food' that was great, and I've had it where it was lousy.
My advice to VeryKatie is to quit going to crappy Chinese restaurants. Admittedly, this is hard - the crappy ones vastly outnumber the good ones, at least around here.
The Chinese food around me is so bad I taught myself how to make it. Mmmmmm....cold sesame noodles.0 -
Food offerings is very much a social thing. like drinking, or joining in a communal meal. it's like saying "what you don't want to be one of us? why not" and the prodding starts.
The drive to have people feel they belong based on this bias is bad. They aren't respecting the person if they aren't accepting of the blanket no thanks.
It is tiring but also understand these people haven't taken the time to respect your own priorities beyond there own.0 -
It drives me nuts that moderation doesn't end well for me and I have to keep explaining that. I've decided to tell people it's not an addiction or a satiety issue or carb cravings or some emotional compulsion or anything else. It's just that I enjoy quietly hating on all you people who can effortlessly have one piece of cake and then walk away satisfied. I am enjoying my bellyful of hatred, okay? So I'm going to be off in this corner with my steak, scowling at all the normal-weight people cruising the dessert bar for sensible portions to fit into their daily allotment. Because I like it!
Jokes aside, with certain things moderation doesn't work for me either. That is the ultimate goal, but I am a work in progress. I figure most people wanting to lose weight didn't always know how to practice moderation. I don't hate though, just envy lol
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