Tired of explaining my diet to people
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Anyone else having the frustration of people constantly asking you to explain your diet and goals to them? I wish I could just say "no thank you" to food being offered without them asking why and having to explain. Then when I say that I'm watching what I eat it's like it becomes a debate issue and I'm having to defend myself and/or repeat my refusal several times. I don't really want to have to discuss it, it's tiresome. Am I alone in this? Sorry for the rant but I'm wondering if other people have had the same experience and have tactics that are effective at cutting off the line of questioning that comes after turning down food or eating related invitations without being rude.
Instead of saying you are watching what you eat, why not just say "I don't want it." Your reasons for not wanting to shouldn't need explained. If they persist, turn it around and ask "Why do you want me to eat this when I don't want it?"0 -
It drives me nuts that moderation doesn't end well for me and I have to keep explaining that. I've decided to tell people it's not an addiction or a satiety issue or carb cravings or some emotional compulsion or anything else. It's just that I enjoy quietly hating on all you people who can effortlessly have one piece of cake and then walk away satisfied. I am enjoying my bellyful of hatred, okay? So I'm going to be off in this corner with my steak, scowling at all the normal-weight people cruising the dessert bar for sensible portions to fit into their daily allotment. Because I like it!
Nice!0 -
It drives me nuts that moderation doesn't end well for me and I have to keep explaining that. I've decided to tell people it's not an addiction or a satiety issue or carb cravings or some emotional compulsion or anything else. It's just that I enjoy quietly hating on all you people who can effortlessly have one piece of cake and then walk away satisfied. I am enjoying my bellyful of hatred, okay? So I'm going to be off in this corner with my steak, scowling at all the normal-weight people cruising the dessert bar for sensible portions to fit into their daily allotment. Because I like it!
I think you should probably talk to a therapist if people with normal eating habits bother you that much...
If that is normal how come so many Americans are obese or overweight? By definition, that isn't normal!
Eating "normal" is a human condition not a nationality issue. Obese humans eat at a calorie surplus, "normal" humans eat at maintenance.
You are wasting your time and effort with the hatred it doesn't help you reach any goal.
If moderation doesn't work for you perhaps you should find another technique that does work. All techniques for maintaing a calorie deficit require effort and dedication and none of them are easy. So big deal if one of them doesn't work for you. There is an endless supply of techniques that work for different people.0 -
It drives me nuts that moderation doesn't end well for me and I have to keep explaining that. I've decided to tell people it's not an addiction or a satiety issue or carb cravings or some emotional compulsion or anything else. It's just that I enjoy quietly hating on all you people who can effortlessly have one piece of cake and then walk away satisfied. I am enjoying my bellyful of hatred, okay? So I'm going to be off in this corner with my steak, scowling at all the normal-weight people cruising the dessert bar for sensible portions to fit into their daily allotment. Because I like it!
Hahahaha I love this.0 -
So, as I see these people here who get all rude and angry, I think it's important to point out a couple of things.
1. People have emotions about food. And it doesn't just have to do with weight. Some people were raised in homes where you are being a bad host if you don't offer guests food. Some people like to entertain and are emotionally invested in the food they have made because they put effort into it. Some people are heavy and haven't figured out their diet plan yet. Some people are just not understanding. If you remove your own food anxiety from the equation and look at the other person's point of view, you'll realize that 99% of the time there is no reason to get upset, defensive or whatever.
2. In some cultures, it is considered positively rude to turn down food or drink. If you go to the middle east, for example, you WILL eat what they give you (even if just a bite) because it's a smack in their face (and their culture of hospitality) if you don't.
Net, net? Step outside yourself for a second and see the other side.
I've lived with this. With celiac disease.
Not easy at all, having a family not understanding that you're not being rude, you really CAN'T have just one bite of lasagna or some of that chicken where they just dragged a piece of bread through the serving dish.
I was diagnosed almost 18 years ago, and my extended family never bothered researching the disease and trying to understand. They're quite used to me bringing my own food and not going to restaurants by now. Dieting makes no difference.
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I get asked fairly often because it is obvious to anyone that knows me, they can see the pounds and inches melting off.
Of course most want to know if I am low carb, Atkins, cabbage soup, Paleo, or some other silly latest fad. When I respond that I am simply counting calories, they quickly get bored and wander off.
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It drives me nuts that moderation doesn't end well for me and I have to keep explaining that. I've decided to tell people it's not an addiction or a satiety issue or carb cravings or some emotional compulsion or anything else. It's just that I enjoy quietly hating on all you people who can effortlessly have one piece of cake and then walk away satisfied. I am enjoying my bellyful of hatred, okay? So I'm going to be off in this corner with my steak, scowling at all the normal-weight people cruising the dessert bar for sensible portions to fit into their daily allotment. Because I like it!
I think you should probably talk to a therapist if people with normal eating habits bother you that much...
If that is normal how come so many Americans are obese or overweight? By definition, that isn't normal!
Eating "normal" is a human condition not a nationality issue. Obese humans eat at a calorie surplus, "normal" humans eat at maintenance.
You are wasting your time and effort with the hatred it doesn't help you reach any goal.
If moderation doesn't work for you perhaps you should find another technique that does work. All techniques for maintaing a calorie deficit require effort and dedication and none of them are easy. So big deal if one of them doesn't work for you. There is an endless supply of techniques that work for different people.
She was joking about the hatred part. It's what she's saying she tells people instead of explaining she has trouble with moderation...0 -
mamapeach910 wrote: »So, as I see these people here who get all rude and angry, I think it's important to point out a couple of things.
1. People have emotions about food. And it doesn't just have to do with weight. Some people were raised in homes where you are being a bad host if you don't offer guests food. Some people like to entertain and are emotionally invested in the food they have made because they put effort into it. Some people are heavy and haven't figured out their diet plan yet. Some people are just not understanding. If you remove your own food anxiety from the equation and look at the other person's point of view, you'll realize that 99% of the time there is no reason to get upset, defensive or whatever.
2. In some cultures, it is considered positively rude to turn down food or drink. If you go to the middle east, for example, you WILL eat what they give you (even if just a bite) because it's a smack in their face (and their culture of hospitality) if you don't.
Net, net? Step outside yourself for a second and see the other side.
I've lived with this. With celiac disease.
Not easy at all, having a family not understanding that you're not being rude, you really CAN'T have just one bite of lasagna or some of that chicken where they just dragged a piece of bread through the serving dish.
I was diagnosed almost 18 years ago, and my extended family never bothered researching the disease and trying to understand. They're quite used to me bringing my own food and not going to restaurants by now. Dieting makes no difference.
I was not referring to disease or allergy. I can't even imagine how difficult that would be - I take for granted the fact that I have no allergies or intolerances.
That said, in your case, it should be perfectly fine in any home in any place to say you can't eat something because it could hurt/kill you. I'm sorry your extended family didn't take the time to research your disease to gain understanding, but at least they don't freak on you when you bring your own food.0 -
You guys are all cracking me up, this is awesome. I feel like I should give some color to what sort of precipitated this aggravation. My in-laws are brining over Chinese food tonight and tonight is my cherished cheat meal night and Chinese food is simply not cheat worthy so it's causing family strife that I told them not to bring me any and I will get my own food, which is what opens up the "diet" discussion. My husband is mad at me for being rude, and my in laws are still trying to get me to tell them what I want from the Chinese restaurant.
Woahhhhhh. Why would Chinese make a cheat night? Make this fit into your allowance, drink a lot of water to offset the sodium, done.
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Also keep in mind that even if they prod in the beginning (especially if you usually accepted treats before), they will get used to it after a while. My co-workers still offer me what's going around to be polite, but no longer say a word if I decline, whereas they used to give me grief about it.
It goes the other way as well, though. I accepted a breadstick the other day and my boss goes, "I didn't even think you ate carbs!" then others chime in with "We should take a picture of this!" and the like. People are obnoxious in general, you just love 'em anyway 0 -
When people offer me food I just tell them I'm Allergic to that. Only once has someone asked me what happens if you eat it. To that one person I said "It will make me Fat".0
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Wow ! And I thought I had a hard time! I get unsolicited advice all the time. I usually now just tell whoever to mind their own business. Unfriendly? Sure. But it works.0
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Tell them you don't like Chinese food - it's sort of true if you don't want it enough to bust your calorie goal for the day. I don't like Indian food; I'd eat it if I had to, but I'd rather not.0
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mamapeach910 wrote: »So, as I see these people here who get all rude and angry, I think it's important to point out a couple of things.
1. People have emotions about food. And it doesn't just have to do with weight. Some people were raised in homes where you are being a bad host if you don't offer guests food. Some people like to entertain and are emotionally invested in the food they have made because they put effort into it. Some people are heavy and haven't figured out their diet plan yet. Some people are just not understanding. If you remove your own food anxiety from the equation and look at the other person's point of view, you'll realize that 99% of the time there is no reason to get upset, defensive or whatever.
2. In some cultures, it is considered positively rude to turn down food or drink. If you go to the middle east, for example, you WILL eat what they give you (even if just a bite) because it's a smack in their face (and their culture of hospitality) if you don't.
Net, net? Step outside yourself for a second and see the other side.
I've lived with this. With celiac disease.
Not easy at all, having a family not understanding that you're not being rude, you really CAN'T have just one bite of lasagna or some of that chicken where they just dragged a piece of bread through the serving dish.
I was diagnosed almost 18 years ago, and my extended family never bothered researching the disease and trying to understand. They're quite used to me bringing my own food and not going to restaurants by now. Dieting makes no difference.
I was not referring to disease or allergy. I can't even imagine how difficult that would be - I take for granted the fact that I have no allergies or intolerances.
That said, in your case, it should be perfectly fine in any home in any place to say you can't eat something because it could hurt/kill you. I'm sorry your extended family didn't take the time to research your disease to gain understanding, but at least they don't freak on you when you bring your own food.
They did! They're used to me doing it now, but the older generation (they've passed away now) never did get it. That cultural thing was there.
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It drives me nuts that moderation doesn't end well for me and I have to keep explaining that. I've decided to tell people it's not an addiction or a satiety issue or carb cravings or some emotional compulsion or anything else. It's just that I enjoy quietly hating on all you people who can effortlessly have one piece of cake and then walk away satisfied. I am enjoying my bellyful of hatred, okay? So I'm going to be off in this corner with my steak, scowling at all the normal-weight people cruising the dessert bar for sensible portions to fit into their daily allotment. Because I like it!
I think you should probably talk to a therapist if people with normal eating habits bother you that much...
If that is normal how come so many Americans are obese or overweight? By definition, that isn't normal!
Eating "normal" is a human condition not a nationality issue. Obese humans eat at a calorie surplus, "normal" humans eat at maintenance....
I understand your meaning and don't want to argue but I don't really agree about 'normal'. Throughout the ages, humans and other animals have learned that food isn't always available. Thus it is ingrained (normal) to eat as much as possible whenever food is available. We are opportunistic eaters.
Since those of us on the forum presumably live where/when food is plentiful that opportunistic nature is reason for overeating. Learning to control the urge to eat whenever and wherever takes discipline and is the opposite of 'normal'.
Just my opinion about what is normal.0 -
Thats why I do flexible dieting. If it can fit within my macros for the day, then I'm going to enjoy it.0
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"I'm on a diet" does not work with a lot of people because they just want to argue or "prove" to you that you can have that whatever it is.
I find that "no thanks, I'm following a highly regimented eating plan" doesn't leave the door open for the counter arguments.
To date I've had no pushback from anyone on "I'm following a highly regimented eating plan"0 -
mamapeach910 wrote: »mamapeach910 wrote: »So, as I see these people here who get all rude and angry, I think it's important to point out a couple of things.
1. People have emotions about food. And it doesn't just have to do with weight. Some people were raised in homes where you are being a bad host if you don't offer guests food. Some people like to entertain and are emotionally invested in the food they have made because they put effort into it. Some people are heavy and haven't figured out their diet plan yet. Some people are just not understanding. If you remove your own food anxiety from the equation and look at the other person's point of view, you'll realize that 99% of the time there is no reason to get upset, defensive or whatever.
2. In some cultures, it is considered positively rude to turn down food or drink. If you go to the middle east, for example, you WILL eat what they give you (even if just a bite) because it's a smack in their face (and their culture of hospitality) if you don't.
Net, net? Step outside yourself for a second and see the other side.
I've lived with this. With celiac disease.
Not easy at all, having a family not understanding that you're not being rude, you really CAN'T have just one bite of lasagna or some of that chicken where they just dragged a piece of bread through the serving dish.
I was diagnosed almost 18 years ago, and my extended family never bothered researching the disease and trying to understand. They're quite used to me bringing my own food and not going to restaurants by now. Dieting makes no difference.
I was not referring to disease or allergy. I can't even imagine how difficult that would be - I take for granted the fact that I have no allergies or intolerances.
That said, in your case, it should be perfectly fine in any home in any place to say you can't eat something because it could hurt/kill you. I'm sorry your extended family didn't take the time to research your disease to gain understanding, but at least they don't freak on you when you bring your own food.
They did! They're used to me doing it now, but the older generation (they've passed away now) never did get it. That cultural thing was there.
Yeah, it's just a way to show love I think. Although it must have been frustrating for you.
And, if you think about it, those who lived through the Great Depression would never imagine not eating food that was offered. It was such as hospitable and kind gesture then to feed someone because of the expense involved.0 -
This makes total sense. To me, chinese food WOULD be worth it. But I agree if something isn't worth it, no way would I be wasting extra calories on that, just to be polite. No way. "Indulgence meals" are too precious, and rare.You guys are all cracking me up, this is awesome. I feel like I should give some color to what sort of precipitated this aggravation. My in-laws are brining over Chinese food tonight and tonight is my cherished cheat meal night and Chinese food is simply not cheat worthy so it's causing family strife that I told them not to bring me any and I will get my own food, which is what opens up the "diet" discussion. My husband is mad at me for being rude, and my in laws are still trying to get me to tell them what I want from the Chinese restaurant.
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