Confession Time! ((ABSOLUTELY NO JUDGEMENT))
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Thank you SusieQ. I try to learn from my mistakes and I've made a lot of them!! Perhaps someday I'll be wise but right now I just plug along trying to make good choices based on what I know I want and need.
Overall you sound SOOOO much better. I'm sorry you had a setback but that is all it is, a minor blib in your path. You are one incredible lady.0 -
I want to reply to a bunch more people but I have this day job that is getting in the way. Thanks so all those who replied. I read each one and was touched more than this little sentence conveys. Hugs to all those who need it whether they said anything here or not and hurray to all those great victories on and off the scale.
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Ok, another confession: I haven't been running since the last time I said "Hey, I went running again!" My step counts for the past week have been pretty dismal (including a couple of sub-4000 days). My husband has been home, and when he comes all my good intentions go out the window. I'm worried because next week is his last shift away so he'll be home full-time. Obviously that's good - I want him home, but I have to really pull my socks up and get myself back in line. Not sure how to do that.0
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rungirl1973 wrote: »orangesmartie wrote: »@Susieq_1994 –yay. I’m glad you can walk again and got to go out for a bit. Congrats on the loss.
@peleroja –I’m so happy that you are able to go on the trip. It sounds like it will be amazing. I’m weird but I would kind of hope to be the only people on the tour haha.
@orangesmartie –Congrats on the weight loss. 67 lbs is AMAZING! Hope things are going ok…
@quiksylver296 –I’m still jealous you are going to the Oregon coast if that makes you feel better.
How are things with you froggy?
I was doing okay but now I'm dealing with some really bad depression. I couldn't stop crying last night so I didn't sleep too well. It's my TOM so that doesn't help of course.
How are you?
Sorry you're feeling bad, @FroggyBug
I'm out of sorts today. My daughter called while I was getting ready for work. She was crying so hard I could barely understand what she was saying. I so wish she didn't live 200+ miles away right now, it's killing me.
((HUGS)) to you both. It is so hard when our children struggle. Heartbreaking.0 -
That's horrible - I know how that feels. Is there any way you can bring her home for a break?rungirl1973 wrote: »orangesmartie wrote: »@Susieq_1994 –yay. I’m glad you can walk again and got to go out for a bit. Congrats on the loss.
@peleroja –I’m so happy that you are able to go on the trip. It sounds like it will be amazing. I’m weird but I would kind of hope to be the only people on the tour haha.
@orangesmartie –Congrats on the weight loss. 67 lbs is AMAZING! Hope things are going ok…
@quiksylver296 –I’m still jealous you are going to the Oregon coast if that makes you feel better.
How are things with you froggy?
I was doing okay but now I'm dealing with some really bad depression. I couldn't stop crying last night so I didn't sleep too well. It's my TOM so that doesn't help of course.
How are you?
Sorry you're feeling bad, @FroggyBug
I'm out of sorts today. My daughter called while I was getting ready for work. She was crying so hard I could barely understand what she was saying. I so wish she didn't live 200+ miles away right now, it's killing me.
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pofoster21 wrote: »
So awesome!!0 -
Good catch! I started running at about 170. A good bra that holds everything in place is just as important as decent shoes.rungirl1973 wrote: »trucalling55 wrote: »FitForMaddy wrote: »Laurend224 wrote: »I can't do any type of jumping jacks or running without my belly smacking the top of my thighs. It's really embarrassing. Going to talk to a surgeon about a panniculectomy. Three kids and yo-yoing between 140 and 252 a few times wrecked my belly.
I know the embarrassing feeling. v.v
I know the feeling of jumping boobs. I only walk until my boobs get smaller because at this time I would stop the traffic if I started to do any jogging (drivers laughing at my jumping boobs).
Also I guess around 80kg, jogging is a bit of a strain for the body. Planning on running later on, around 72-73 or so.
OK, I have to comment on this. That is absolutely ridiculous. 80kg is ~176 lbs, a normal weight for people who are tall. I know women (and men) who run very regularly at 250 lbs and above. Don't use your weight as an excuse if you really want to run. Buy the proper gear (and a good sports bra) and get out there.
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berlynnwall wrote: »berlynnwall wrote: »FluffySandwich wrote: »
I feel like I MIGHT be able to get some idea of an exact location if I always stand in the kitchen on the lookout, but sometimes these sounds are hours apart. Still going on today and they didn't happen before we went to Punta Cana. My boyfriend keeps saying that there might be a rat in the wall or something and I hope that's not the case.FluffySandwich wrote: »I'm almost done with Survivor 29 and I am really upset by the final three. One of them I like ok (and I think for sure is going to win), the other two I never really liked... and the person I wanted to win got voted out in fourth place. ARGH. Hate it when that happens.
On another note, I keep hearing some weird sound coming from my kitchen and I'm not sure what it could be. I told my boyfriend our apartment must be haunted or something. It almost sounds like some water is splashing on the floor violently, but I can't find anything wrong. We recently had an ant infestation so maybe a big ant is making noise in our wall as revenge for our ant murder.
Creepy. I hope you can figure out what it is. If you do, let us know.
Back in about 2009 or 2010, we had a few months were my whole family was experiencing weird things (in different locations) that I've never been able to explain to this day. It was really weird... I felt like we were all haunted for a while too.
I heard that your dreams get extra crazy when you're pregnant. I love dreams and keep a dream diary on my computer. Last night I dreamed that I had something stuck in my teeth... and I finally managed to pull it out- a long string of spaghetti. Then more and more kept coming, so it turns out I had like 20 strings of spaghetti stuck in that spot between my teeth. It was kind of freaky for some reason.FluffySandwich wrote: »Congrats @bkhamill !!!
I confess that I am only 21 years old and don't think I'm ready to have a baby by any means, but sometimes I have dreams that I am very pregnant or have an infant and wake up feeling strangely empty, confused, and sad. Any one else do this? Or did this?
I used to have those all the time in my early 20s. Now I actually am pregnant, my dreams have been completely devoid of anything baby-related. Funny how the brain works. I did dream my mattress was made of cheese the other night. I had to lie really still and evenly to avoid crumbling it!
For me, that was absolutely true. My dreams were much more vivid, and weird as all get out. Has anyone read Anne Rice's witch series? Before I found out I was pregnant with my son, I had a dream that I gave birth to a fully grown man (like in those books). Seriously creepy.
Lasher!
i used to be a total anne rice addict. Total.
i loved those books, but really how strange would it be like oh! here's my baby! then by the morning it's a grown dude? creeeeepy
Me too! I still have the Mayfair Witch series and probably about 10 of the Vampire books on a shelf. I had a total gothic horror phase, and it started with her books. I don't think it ever really ended.
the vampire chronicles were always my favorite. i've read everything she's written up to the jesus books. i've heard she's gone back to her roots now and is writing dark werewolf books, i might have to give them a try!0 -
berlynnwall wrote: »berlynnwall wrote: »FluffySandwich wrote: »
I feel like I MIGHT be able to get some idea of an exact location if I always stand in the kitchen on the lookout, but sometimes these sounds are hours apart. Still going on today and they didn't happen before we went to Punta Cana. My boyfriend keeps saying that there might be a rat in the wall or something and I hope that's not the case.FluffySandwich wrote: »I'm almost done with Survivor 29 and I am really upset by the final three. One of them I like ok (and I think for sure is going to win), the other two I never really liked... and the person I wanted to win got voted out in fourth place. ARGH. Hate it when that happens.
On another note, I keep hearing some weird sound coming from my kitchen and I'm not sure what it could be. I told my boyfriend our apartment must be haunted or something. It almost sounds like some water is splashing on the floor violently, but I can't find anything wrong. We recently had an ant infestation so maybe a big ant is making noise in our wall as revenge for our ant murder.
Creepy. I hope you can figure out what it is. If you do, let us know.
Back in about 2009 or 2010, we had a few months were my whole family was experiencing weird things (in different locations) that I've never been able to explain to this day. It was really weird... I felt like we were all haunted for a while too.
I heard that your dreams get extra crazy when you're pregnant. I love dreams and keep a dream diary on my computer. Last night I dreamed that I had something stuck in my teeth... and I finally managed to pull it out- a long string of spaghetti. Then more and more kept coming, so it turns out I had like 20 strings of spaghetti stuck in that spot between my teeth. It was kind of freaky for some reason.FluffySandwich wrote: »Congrats @bkhamill !!!
I confess that I am only 21 years old and don't think I'm ready to have a baby by any means, but sometimes I have dreams that I am very pregnant or have an infant and wake up feeling strangely empty, confused, and sad. Any one else do this? Or did this?
I used to have those all the time in my early 20s. Now I actually am pregnant, my dreams have been completely devoid of anything baby-related. Funny how the brain works. I did dream my mattress was made of cheese the other night. I had to lie really still and evenly to avoid crumbling it!
For me, that was absolutely true. My dreams were much more vivid, and weird as all get out. Has anyone read Anne Rice's witch series? Before I found out I was pregnant with my son, I had a dream that I gave birth to a fully grown man (like in those books). Seriously creepy.
Lasher!
i used to be a total anne rice addict. Total.
i loved those books, but really how strange would it be like oh! here's my baby! then by the morning it's a grown dude? creeeeepy
Me too! I still have the Mayfair Witch series and probably about 10 of the Vampire books on a shelf. I had a total gothic horror phase, and it started with her books. I don't think it ever really ended.
If ya wanna get racy, read her Sleeping Beauty series that she wrote as Anne Rampling!!
right?!?!
everyone that's all 50 shades! OMG!!
i can't help but think, dude, you have NO idea.....lol0 -
Ok, another confession: I haven't been running since the last time I said "Hey, I went running again!" My step counts for the past week have been pretty dismal (including a couple of sub-4000 days). My husband has been home, and when he comes all my good intentions go out the window. I'm worried because next week is his last shift away so he'll be home full-time. Obviously that's good - I want him home, but I have to really pull my socks up and get myself back in line. Not sure how to do that.
Know that you are doing the work for you. My husband is the same way. He usually enjoys our time together watching shows we have recorded because we don't have time to watch regularly. I am starting to prefer to spend my time moving, because I know I have a lot of work to do. It has been hard, but I know he sees how much this means to me and how it has changed me so far. He did tell me he noticed and sees the difference and I am doing well. He will NEVER know how much that means to me. So I am working on me and making sure I give him some of my time as well. Confusing?? I hope it helps.0 -
orangesmartie wrote: »I drove 200 miles last night to end my relationships. I talked a lot. Couldn't bring myself to say the words. I didn't think it would be possible for my heart to be so broken again.
Oh! I'm so sorry you're hurting.
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Good catch! I started running at about 170. A good bra that holds everything in place is just as important as decent shoes.rungirl1973 wrote: »trucalling55 wrote: »FitForMaddy wrote: »Laurend224 wrote: »I can't do any type of jumping jacks or running without my belly smacking the top of my thighs. It's really embarrassing. Going to talk to a surgeon about a panniculectomy. Three kids and yo-yoing between 140 and 252 a few times wrecked my belly.
I know the embarrassing feeling. v.v
I know the feeling of jumping boobs. I only walk until my boobs get smaller because at this time I would stop the traffic if I started to do any jogging (drivers laughing at my jumping boobs).
Also I guess around 80kg, jogging is a bit of a strain for the body. Planning on running later on, around 72-73 or so.
OK, I have to comment on this. That is absolutely ridiculous. 80kg is ~176 lbs, a normal weight for people who are tall. I know women (and men) who run very regularly at 250 lbs and above. Don't use your weight as an excuse if you really want to run. Buy the proper gear (and a good sports bra) and get out there.
AMEN!!!0 -
FluffySandwich wrote: »So I got a game in the mail today. It's from the Harvest Moon series... nothing hardcore but I've always found it adorable and relaxing. You basically just go around town building your home and relationships and farming. Just a quiet and cute game Right now I'm feeling a bit panicky (I don't know if my posts show it or not) so I'm hoping it can soothe me
I hope you feel better soon. I hope the game helps.
I'm a geek and admit that I'm a total video game lover. I've been playing since I was a young kid (Atari ) That and music are the things that keep me alive and sane sometimes. 0 -
kellyjellybellyjelly wrote: »I just had about 5 bites of Carrot Cake and I feel terrible about it.
Don't beat yourself up. If it fits in your calories then enjoy your carrot cake if it didn't fit in your calories still enjoy your carrot cake.
The only time you should get mad about eating something is if you're allergic or the food is awful! Now I could understand if it were Kale.
Agreed! All the kale can burn in the fiery pits of hell. It is NOT food and should not pretend it is.
Yeah. Kale ruined my salad at Panera last weekend. Boo!0 -
Italian_Buju wrote: »Confession:
I have not come on this thread for a few days because I felt like the posts I made about my issue with my SO and my issues with struggling to WANT to lose weight were not well received and I felt embarrassed and wished I had not written about those things. Over time I started to feel too comfortable and speaking too freely I guess.
Late last night before bed I noticed I had notifications and checked them which brought me to a few posts here and I saw @Susieq_1994 saying I was avoiding you guys, and I just wanted to make it clear that it was my own issues and not you guys as to why I was not posting here.
I was still posting in the fitbit and Big Brother thread because they felt safe, like single topic threads. Also, as you guys have seen, I am not afraid of confrontation, so it is not like I need everyone to agree with me or anything, about anything, I am not sure why I reacted so strongly, maybe because they were on top of each other, not sure, no idea really, but it affected me for some reason.
In short, I decided that I did not want to become that annoying poster that everyone rolls their eyes at , lol, so I stuck with single topic things, like fitbit and goodreads, status etc. I have not avoided anyone in particular, or felt upset with anyone other than myself.
i'm terrified of this on a daily basis....
and i don't think you needed to feel embarrassed by anything.
there's no such thing as speaking too freely here!!0 -
xLoveLikeWinterx wrote: »I feel like a jerk posting my happy update after orangesmartie’s post but this morning was a very happy day
I finally hit goal! I’ve lost 40 lbs (which is embarrassing to say, admitting I had that much to lose) and that feels amazing. I’m actually slightly below my weight before DS#1.
I’m still not happy with the way I look, and I think my next goal is to lose another 5-8 lb. I’m 5’4.5 and 133.5 as of this morning, and I think I would like to maintain around 125-128. I’m not sure yet, because my body changed a lot after DS#2. My hips were a lot smaller- I have a closet full of 4s and Small shirts that used to fit me at 135. Now some of the Smalls fit and I’m in a 6. My 4s are still too tight. I know myself and I’ll keep setting my goals lower and lower so I’m not “officially in maintenance” (which scares me, tbh).
DH told me to stop overthinking it, take today “off” dieting and just celebrate reaching goal. I got a Starbucks iced coffee this morning; does that count as celebrating?
Congratulations!! Stop and celebrate. And may I advise you don't set lower and lower goals, set new and different ones. Find an exercise program to help you recomp to the look/size you want. I love maintenance. I enjoy knowing that I can eat and that I am still improving my health without losing pounds. Four kids later, I know my hips will never be my pre-baby size again. I'm cool with that. The girl in my profile pic makes me a proud mama almost daily and so do her brothers. (She's setting a PR for 5 miles in the pic) and they are worth 2 inches in hip size.0 -
kelly_c_77 wrote: »I just want to say that I am so sorry to those of you who have dealt with abuse/assault in your lives. You all seem like such strong women..it's great that you guys have been able to overcome such horrible things. You are all very brave. Thank you for sharing your stories. Hugs to you all.
I agree with this!
Being a victim survivor of sexual abuse myself, I decided long ago, that I wouldn't let it define me or control me or my life. I had zero control at the time, but I wouldn't go through life powerless. I was stronger than that and I refused to succumb to guilt, shame, or helplessness. I got counseling (both group and individual) and it did a world of good to be able to talk about it with other girls that had experienced similar things.
It really sucks when the people that are supposed to protect you, fail to do so, and are even the ones that hurt you the most. My abuser was punished with time in prison, but I don't think he ever felt remorse for what he did, but I couldn't care less about that. That's between him and God. I have moved on and am in a loving, healthy, committed relationship and what he did to me will NEVER take that away. Like it was mentioned before, that was but a tiny moment in time and it does not define my life.
Kudos, ladies for being strong, powerful, wonderful women despite the horribly tragic things in your past that tried to own you.
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FluffySandwich wrote: »So I got a game in the mail today. It's from the Harvest Moon series... nothing hardcore but I've always found it adorable and relaxing. You basically just go around town building your home and relationships and farming. Just a quiet and cute game Right now I'm feeling a bit panicky (I don't know if my posts show it or not) so I'm hoping it can soothe me
I hope you feel better soon. I hope the game helps.
I'm a geek and admit that I'm a total video game lover. I've been playing since I was a young kid (Atari ) That and music are the things that keep me alive and sane sometimes.
Likewise. Atari 2600 and just about everything afterwards. As a kid back when everything was new... I LIVED in the arcades. I'm 43 now but still love a good PC video game (I don't buy consoles anymore).0 -
@bkhamill, that is horrendous. I'm so sorry you had to go through that. I'm impressed that his brother acted like he did though, and I hope that restored a little bit of faith that some people can be decent. I'm glad to hear that you were somehow able to move on from that and not let it define your life.
All of this!
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That's horrible - I know how that feels. Is there any way you can bring her home for a break?rungirl1973 wrote: »orangesmartie wrote: »@Susieq_1994 –yay. I’m glad you can walk again and got to go out for a bit. Congrats on the loss.
@peleroja –I’m so happy that you are able to go on the trip. It sounds like it will be amazing. I’m weird but I would kind of hope to be the only people on the tour haha.
@orangesmartie –Congrats on the weight loss. 67 lbs is AMAZING! Hope things are going ok…
@quiksylver296 –I’m still jealous you are going to the Oregon coast if that makes you feel better.
How are things with you froggy?
I was doing okay but now I'm dealing with some really bad depression. I couldn't stop crying last night so I didn't sleep too well. It's my TOM so that doesn't help of course.
How are you?
Sorry you're feeling bad, @FroggyBug
I'm out of sorts today. My daughter called while I was getting ready for work. She was crying so hard I could barely understand what she was saying. I so wish she didn't live 200+ miles away right now, it's killing me.
Well she's supposed to be coming for 3 weeks in August before she goes back to school. I tried to tell her today to leave her job there and come sooner. She's just working a temp factory job right now.0
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