Confession Time! ((ABSOLUTELY NO JUDGEMENT))
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SoulOfRusalka wrote: »
I love sauerkraut. I heat it up and eat it just like that. If I have mustard I'll mix that in too. Works as a meal with very few calories.0 -
Here is a confession for you all that I am super ashamed of.
I'm smoking again.
It started off socially, then every Friday 'date night' down the pub. Now its every day after work. *shrugs* the worst part is that I really can't be arsed to quit. Everything else has gone wrong, I might as well.
Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
Oh Lois, I am so sorry to hear that!
Smoking is never social! I had to learn that the hard way when I quit 20 years ago!
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Here is a confession for you all that I am super ashamed of.
I'm smoking again.
It started off socially, then every Friday 'date night' down the pub. Now its every day after work. *shrugs* the worst part is that I really can't be arsed to quit. Everything else has gone wrong, I might as well.
Oh nos!
I've never smoked so cannot pretend to understand. If you're beyond caring at the moment due to stress (understandable), maybe force yourself to make a tally if what it's costing in money as motivation not to. You could spend that money on a relaxing massage!
Smart lady! Great idea!0 -
quiksylver296 wrote: »quiksylver296 wrote: »Here is a confession for you all that I am super ashamed of.
I'm smoking again.
It started off socially, then every Friday 'date night' down the pub. Now its every day after work. *shrugs* the worst part is that I really can't be arsed to quit. Everything else has gone wrong, I might as well.
Oh, no! I understand. I've had a few stressful days where I've been tempted to go pick up a pack. I've resisted.
We
you, Lois, and want you healthy and happy!
Didn't know you used to smoke? I resisted for a year. I quit for a year and felt great. Danny was on and off smoking for the next year. Then I caved in June while drunk at a wedding I didn't want to be at, and it crumbled from there.
Yeah. It's been a lot of years ago now, 15 or so. But I still find myself wanting one when I'm stressed.
I did, but the first one back always make me feel like I am going to throw up. But then I realised that if I'm drunk it doesn't happen. Then I smoked a LOT at the last NFL game and carried on the next day and was fine. That was the sharp downwards spiral.
I do deeply regret that I started. But I'm not ready to go through the quitting symptoms. Not yet.
I had to stop drink alcohol to successfully quit smoking. I would 'quit' and then the weekend would come, and we would be out at the clubs and I would be having a few drinks and everyone around me would be smoking, so I would bum a few.
Then the next weekend, I bought a pack to carry on the weekends. Then, it turned into smoking the whole weekend instead of just at the club, then just finishing off the pack after the weekend....then smoking again.
I had to repeat this three times before I realized getting tipsy and being around smokers was too much temptation. Once I quit drinking, I finally actually quit.
And now, I don't know how I ever did that, because being around cigarette smoke grosses me out. I never want one, it just makes me feel sick. I am so thankful that smoking is not allowed in public places anymore!2 -
quiksylver296 wrote: »ARGH! E-mail just came through that said there are doughnuts in the kitchen. I'm NOT eating a doughnut! I'm not! It won't taste good enough for the calories, right?!?
Whoever sent that email was cruel
It's office culture to send out an email any time someone brings in treats.
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MelissaPhippsFeagins wrote: »Mel the voice of reason as ever. Not to be a total downer but the main reason I've never smoked is because when I was 15, my uncle died of throat cancer and that had always stuck with me.
For the record, I am not reasonable until I think it out. I waited a long time to type that.
My mother smoked 5 cigarettes every day. 6:30am, 11am, 3pm, 6:30 pm and 10:00pm. I could have set my watch by those and often did leave for school when she lit the first one. Those were the five she couldn't quit. She tried. I always said she coped with my dad's alcoholism with her nicotine.
She died of an aneurysm that I very well may only not have developed because I have never smoked. The genes are there. The aneurysm isn't. (so far. My docs check for it every 10 years)
Sorry to hear that!
Both of my parents were heavy smokers of filterless cigarettes 0 -
SoulOfRusalka wrote: »
I love sauerkraut. I heat it up and eat it just like that. If I have mustard I'll mix that in too. Works as a meal with very few calories.
Haven't had sauerkraut since I was a kid, and I don't remember liking it then.0 -
kellyjellybellyjelly wrote: »MelissaPhippsFeagins wrote: »I want to like oatmeal. I don't know why. I just feel like I SHOULD. But no matter how delectable it sounds with all its add-ins or how wonderful its cinnamon/maple/sugared/salty smell tickles my nose buds.... It still tastes like lumpy wallpaper paste.
How do you know what wallpaper paste tastes like? (sorry, couldn't resist.)
It's okay to just not like certain foods. I feel that way about quinoa, although I will eat it anyway if cooked with certain other flavors that I really love. I want quinoa to have more of an oatmeal texture and it has more of a bulgar wheat texture. (hmm... I wonder how quinoa would fair in a meatball dish in place of bulgar? )
That's how I feel about Kale!
The only way I'll eat Kale is when it's mixed in with other greens.
When my one niece was around 2-3 she would grab Kale chips off the baking sheet my sister pulled out of the oven & actually eat it.
Kale is nasty!1 -
Confession - my weight is back up into the 180's. 181.4 this morning. Argh. My rings are tight, so it's some water weight, but definitely time to knuckle down.
I was in the low 160's. So demoralizing, depressing, discouraging, distressing, dispiriting... (I went to thesaurus.com, trying to find the right word.
) 0 -
MelissaPhippsFeagins wrote: »Lois (insert your middle name here) Woodgate! I work at a trauma center, but for the oncology doctors. Please, oh please, oh please don't give my friend Lung cancer with those (expletives deleted) cigarettes. We aren't good at beating that one. Do I need to send you Nicotine gum to help with the withdrawal symptoms? I could cry reading that you are hooked again.(besides we need you to watch Tami around the donuts)
Tami, you crack me up feeling guilty about sick leave and having Lois stop you from eating a maple bar.
Soul, I am good at virtual kicks... And glad it helped.
I don't actually have a middle name, so you got it right first time.
I know, I know, I know. That's why I feel so ashamed that I'm back on them. If it helps, its only 3 a day?
I need to get my head in a better space. I done it once, so I know I can do it again. The trouble is that I don't think Danny wants to quit. He has always said he enjoys smoking so, I'm not sure the will power is there for him. He has been smoking for the past year (and badly hiding it) so it is going to be a massive struggle to quit and stay quit.
Mel, what is your opinion on Vaping?
Does he smoke in the house? That is hard.
When my father was 65, after smoking for 50 years, had to have surgery for a smoking related problem. He quit right before going in. My mother continued to smoke in the house, for the few years until he died, but he never went back. My mother smoked until the day she died, even after going 9 months without when she broke a hip and could not get out of bed. I was so annoyed.0 -
Italian_Buju wrote: »MelissaPhippsFeagins wrote: »Lois (insert your middle name here) Woodgate! I work at a trauma center, but for the oncology doctors. Please, oh please, oh please don't give my friend Lung cancer with those (expletives deleted) cigarettes. We aren't good at beating that one. Do I need to send you Nicotine gum to help with the withdrawal symptoms? I could cry reading that you are hooked again.(besides we need you to watch Tami around the donuts)
Tami, you crack me up feeling guilty about sick leave and having Lois stop you from eating a maple bar.
Soul, I am good at virtual kicks... And glad it helped.
I don't actually have a middle name, so you got it right first time.
I know, I know, I know. That's why I feel so ashamed that I'm back on them. If it helps, its only 3 a day?
I need to get my head in a better space. I done it once, so I know I can do it again. The trouble is that I don't think Danny wants to quit. He has always said he enjoys smoking so, I'm not sure the will power is there for him. He has been smoking for the past year (and badly hiding it) so it is going to be a massive struggle to quit and stay quit.
Mel, what is your opinion on Vaping?
Does he smoke in the house? That is hard.
When my father was 65, after smoking for 50 years, had to have surgery for a smoking related problem. He quit right before going in. My mother continued to smoke in the house, for the few years until he died, but he never went back. My mother smoked until the day she died, even after going 9 months without when she broke a hip and could not get out of bed. I was so annoyed.
No no he doesn't smoke in the house, but I could always taste it on his breath when he kissed me. After 2 years of not smoking I could easily tell.0 -
quiksylver296 wrote: »Confession - my weight is back up into the 180's. 181.4 this morning. Argh. My rings are tight, so it's some water weight, but definitely time to knuckle down.
I was in the low 160's. So demoralizing, depressing, discouraging, distressing, dispiriting... (I went to thesaurus.com, trying to find the right word. )
Buttocks kick for you!!!
Come on, girl! Of all of my friends, I know that you can do this.2 -
Host mom thinks I ate dinner out, I think. I'm too shy to tell her otherwise. I didn't eat lunch, either, but my new rules are that I only accept food that's offered to me without prompting.
I'm too shy to ask her and feeling like a failure of a human being besides, so no dinner tonight. I ate enough at breakfast that it's okay.
I wish I still had some alcohol left, though.
Coping? Like a normal person? What's that?0 -
Nevertheless you are still: determined, driven, dogged, decided, diligent, un-deterred...quiksylver296 wrote: »Confession - my weight is back up into the 180's. 181.4 this morning. Argh. My rings are tight, so it's some water weight, but definitely time to knuckle down.
I was in the low 160's. So demoralizing, depressing, discouraging, distressing, dispiriting... (I went to thesaurus.com, trying to find the right word. )
(All aboard the alliteration train!)
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SoulOfRusalka wrote: »Coping? Like a normal person? What's that?
A ski I learned I my 30s, not my 20s. Tomorrow will be better.3 -
SoulOfRusalka wrote: »
Nevertheless you are still: determined, driven, dogged, decided, diligent, un-deterred...quiksylver296 wrote: »Confession - my weight is back up into the 180's. 181.4 this morning. Argh. My rings are tight, so it's some water weight, but definitely time to knuckle down.
I was in the low 160's. So demoralizing, depressing, discouraging, distressing, dispiriting... (I went to thesaurus.com, trying to find the right word. )
(All aboard the alliteration train!)
Delightful, distinctive and detail-oriented. And, hopping off the alliteration train, a grown woman capable of making good decisions. We all have bad times. How long are you willing to let this one last?2 -
Can this day please be over?!? I'm so done.1
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quiksylver296 wrote: »Can this day please be over?!? I'm so done.
It is after 5 here, so yes. Today can be over.0 -
MelissaPhippsFeagins wrote: »quiksylver296 wrote: »Can this day please be over?!? I'm so done.
It is after 5 here, so yes. Today can be over.
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quiksylver296 wrote: »MelissaPhippsFeagins wrote: »quiksylver296 wrote: »Can this day please be over?!? I'm so done.
It is after 5 here, so yes. Today can be over.
6 pm here!0 -
quiksylver296 wrote: »quiksylver296 wrote: »ARGH! E-mail just came through that said there are doughnuts in the kitchen. I'm NOT eating a doughnut! I'm not! It won't taste good enough for the calories, right?!?
Whoever sent that email was cruel
It's office culture to send out an email any time someone brings in treats.
Doubly cruel. SABOTAGE!0 -
quiksylver296 wrote: »
Today it was 3:30 am, red bull, no sauerkraut.0 -
quiksylver296 wrote: »SoulOfRusalka wrote: »
I love sauerkraut. I heat it up and eat it just like that. If I have mustard I'll mix that in too. Works as a meal with very few calories.
Haven't had sauerkraut since I was a kid, and I don't remember liking it then.
I ADORE it.0 -
MelissaPhippsFeagins wrote: »quiksylver296 wrote: »Confession - my weight is back up into the 180's. 181.4 this morning. Argh. My rings are tight, so it's some water weight, but definitely time to knuckle down.
I was in the low 160's. So demoralizing, depressing, discouraging, distressing, dispiriting... (I went to thesaurus.com, trying to find the right word. )
Buttocks kick for you!!!
Come on, girl! Of all of my friends, I know that you can do this.
Hey, I'm a bit offended by that.3 -
quiksylver296 wrote: »Confession - my weight is back up into the 180's. 181.4 this morning. Argh. My rings are tight, so it's some water weight, but definitely time to knuckle down.
I was in the low 160's. So demoralizing, depressing, discouraging, distressing, dispiriting... (I went to thesaurus.com, trying to find the right word. )
I am still sitting in the low 130s. Shall we get this going together???? I am feeling I could do it this time. I'm making a lot of positive progress in a lot of areas...3 -
MelissaPhippsFeagins wrote: »quiksylver296 wrote: »Confession - my weight is back up into the 180's. 181.4 this morning. Argh. My rings are tight, so it's some water weight, but definitely time to knuckle down.
I was in the low 160's. So demoralizing, depressing, discouraging, distressing, dispiriting... (I went to thesaurus.com, trying to find the right word. )
Buttocks kick for you!!!
Come on, girl! Of all of my friends, I know that you can do this.
Hey, I'm a bit offended by that.
Oh, no! I apologize for not being specific about what "this" means.
Of all my friends, I know you can complete a triathlon, ride horses competitively, and get your Ph.D.
What I know Tami can do is plan her meals to the last macro to make weight for a competition.
Totally different "this" and I am not disciplined enough to for any of it.3 -
SoulOfRusalka wrote: »Host mom thinks I ate dinner out, I think. I'm too shy to tell her otherwise. I didn't eat lunch, either, but my new rules are that I only accept food that's offered to me without prompting.
I'm too shy to ask her and feeling like a failure of a human being besides, so no dinner tonight. I ate enough at breakfast that it's okay.
I wish I still had some alcohol left, though.
Coping? Like a normal person? What's that?
Why is this your rule? How long are you there?0 -
Two more months. It's my rule because I need to impose some structure on the garbage can fire that is my life.Italian_Buju wrote: »SoulOfRusalka wrote: »Host mom thinks I ate dinner out, I think. I'm too shy to tell her otherwise. I didn't eat lunch, either, but my new rules are that I only accept food that's offered to me without prompting.
I'm too shy to ask her and feeling like a failure of a human being besides, so no dinner tonight. I ate enough at breakfast that it's okay.
I wish I still had some alcohol left, though.
Coping? Like a normal person? What's that?
Why is this your rule? How long are you there?0 -
MFP I is eating the bottom of my posts for some reason.
Adding that I am not 100% in control of The Rules (honestly not sure what part of my mentally interesting brain is responsible for that-- OCD? ED fragments left over? Terrible decision-making? Who knows!) but this is way better than it could be so it's a kind of damage control.
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