Confession Time! ((ABSOLUTELY NO JUDGEMENT))
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I am still working on my crap diet. I need to make sure to log everything and keep track of it. I have gained so much, my stomach looks like I am pregnant. I am kind of surprised no one has asked me, but glad too.
Join the rest of us that have fallen and are now trying to get back up.
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It's funny how I manage to be in this situation just before the holidays start...0
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SoulOfRusalka wrote: »My normie friends love complaining about the butter/sour cream in everything.
Me, having fought off an eating disorder: but fat is good for you! Your brain needs it to function properly!
Normie friends: no, it isn’t. Too much fat is just bad for you. It’s unhealthy. I’ve gotten so unhealthy since I came here, I need to start working out again, I’m gonna get fat...
I know we’re on a diet forum but does anyone else hate listening to people talk about their diets irl?
Not necessarily their diets, but the idea that fat is evil drives me insane. I would not advise eating a whole stick of butter daily (although when I was recovering from bulimia that is something I did every day for a month to put weight back on - on toast, on baked potatoes, on corn on the cob), but in moderation it is fine.
I am also made crazy by people (coworkers) who tell me I should replace dairy milk with soy or coconut milk "because it's so much better for you". Nope. I am allergic to soy and coconut so dairy milk it is. Also, I like it and I don't give you unsolicited dietary advice.1 -
Lunch is: chai latte, stroopwafels, mini chocolate bar, and a muffin to fortify myself for scary scary phonetics class and test.
Not very healthy but it fits in my maintenance calories and I’m purging anyway oops.
It’s exhausting and I hate it. Phonetics class, that is. It’s my own personal circle of heck.
But then I’m buying vodka and Diet Coke and going home to watch Netflix and study for the rest of the day, yay!0 -
SoulOfRusalka wrote: »Lunch is: chai latte, stroopwafels, mini chocolate bar, and a muffin to fortify myself for scary scary phonetics class and test.
Not very healthy but it fits in my maintenance calories and I’m purging anyway oops.
It’s exhausting and I hate it. Phonetics class, that is. It’s my own personal circle of heck.
But then I’m buying vodka and Diet Coke and going home to watch Netflix and study for the rest of the day, yay!
I know its a bit rich coming from me at the moment, but please look after yourself. It scares me that you are making light of purging. I will hold my hands up and admit, I've never been through that scenario so I can't know the ins and outs and how you are feeling, and I don't want to pretend that I do know and that I know how to fix it for you, because I don't. I'm not judging, but I just want you to know that I care, and I'm worried about you and I want you to take a little more care of yourself please
I just didn't want to carry on skipping over that part of your posts without addressing my feelings to you. You're a sweet person and I know you are having a bit of a stressful time being in a different country and all, but it twinges a small part of me inside when I read that you are trying to normalise something that could be very dangerous for you (YES, I know, pot calling the kettle black). But on that note, I always think of these guys and how they feel about me smoking again, and it helps me not have one (I only had 2 yesterday, and that was only because I was close to ripping someones face off in the office). Knowing these guys have my back when I need them helps me. So I wanted you to know, that I care, and we are here for you and we are here to help.
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SoulOfRusalka wrote: »Lunch is: chai latte, stroopwafels, mini chocolate bar, and a muffin to fortify myself for scary scary phonetics class and test.
Not very healthy but it fits in my maintenance calories and I’m purging anyway oops.
It’s exhausting and I hate it. Phonetics class, that is. It’s my own personal circle of heck.
But then I’m buying vodka and Diet Coke and going home to watch Netflix and study for the rest of the day, yay!
I know its a bit rich coming from me at the moment, but please look after yourself. It scares me that you are making light of purging. I will hold my hands up and admit, I've never been through that scenario so I can't know the ins and outs and how you are feeling, and I don't want to pretend that I do know and that I know how to fix it for you, because I don't. I'm not judging, but I just want you to know that I care, and I'm worried about you and I want you to take a little more care of yourself please
I just didn't want to carry on skipping over that part of your posts without addressing my feelings to you. You're a sweet person and I know you are having a bit of a stressful time being in a different country and all, but it twinges a small part of me inside when I read that you are trying to normalise something that could be very dangerous for you (YES, I know, pot calling the kettle black). But on that note, I always think of these guys and how they feel about me smoking again, and it helps me not have one (I only had 2 yesterday, and that was only because I was close to ripping someones face off in the office). Knowing these guys have my back when I need them helps me. So I wanted you to know, that I care, and we are here for you and we are here to help.
Kind of this, except that I have been there. I purged by exercise because my gag reflex is nonexistent. It looks healthier to everyone else, but it was still purging.
So, (insert your actual full name here, in my best mom voice) stop it before you give yourself esophageal cancer! It's not a grown-up coping mechanism. Take yourself for a walk, burn a soothing candle, drink the vodka and coke as a short term substitute, but stop the purging, please? We really do care. I really have been there. Think of Lois and me and come pour out your emotions here instead.
No judgment, you can say anything here. I cannot judge you for doing what I have done. I can help you stop.5 -
You’re very kind, omg. Thank you for your long response.SoulOfRusalka wrote: »Lunch is: chai latte, stroopwafels, mini chocolate bar, and a muffin to fortify myself for scary scary phonetics class and test.
Not very healthy but it fits in my maintenance calories and I’m purging anyway oops.
It’s exhausting and I hate it. Phonetics class, that is. It’s my own personal circle of heck.
But then I’m buying vodka and Diet Coke and going home to watch Netflix and study for the rest of the day, yay!
I know its a bit rich coming from me at the moment, but please look after yourself. It scares me that you are making light of purging. I will hold my hands up and admit, I've never been through that scenario so I can't know the ins and outs and how you are feeling, and I don't want to pretend that I do know and that I know how to fix it for you, because I don't. I'm not judging, but I just want you to know that I care, and I'm worried about you and I want you to take a little more care of yourself please
I just didn't want to carry on skipping over that part of your posts without addressing my feelings to you. You're a sweet person and I know you are having a bit of a stressful time being in a different country and all, but it twinges a small part of me inside when I read that you are trying to normalise something that could be very dangerous for you (YES, I know, pot calling the kettle black). But on that note, I always think of these guys and how they feel about me smoking again, and it helps me not have one (I only had 2 yesterday, and that was only because I was close to ripping someones face off in the office). Knowing these guys have my back when I need them helps me. So I wanted you to know, that I care, and we are here for you and we are here to help.
I don’t mean to be making light of it or shoving it in people’s faces, I just sometimes forget that it really isn’t normal. Also it’s only a very recent relapse and I am trying to stop, so it’s not too worrying!
Also congrats!! on a.) only having two cigarettes and b.) not ripping anybody’s face off. That’s a very important and underrated skill.
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SoulOfRusalka wrote: »Also congrats!! on a.) only having two cigarettes and b.) not ripping anybody’s face off. That’s a very important and underrated skill.
Yes, Lois, congratulations on the cut back. And on not ripping off faces. Personally, I would have already either slapped a couple of your coworkers or left Listerine on their desks with a note "for cleaning up your potty mouth." Or both.3 -
I knooowww. Sigh. I know it’s not a grown-up coping mechanism. I’m legally an adult, and I’m supposed to be over it.MelissaPhippsFeagins wrote: »SoulOfRusalka wrote: »Lunch is: chai latte, stroopwafels, mini chocolate bar, and a muffin to fortify myself for scary scary phonetics class and test.
Not very healthy but it fits in my maintenance calories and I’m purging anyway oops.
It’s exhausting and I hate it. Phonetics class, that is. It’s my own personal circle of heck.
But then I’m buying vodka and Diet Coke and going home to watch Netflix and study for the rest of the day, yay!
I know its a bit rich coming from me at the moment, but please look after yourself. It scares me that you are making light of purging. I will hold my hands up and admit, I've never been through that scenario so I can't know the ins and outs and how you are feeling, and I don't want to pretend that I do know and that I know how to fix it for you, because I don't. I'm not judging, but I just want you to know that I care, and I'm worried about you and I want you to take a little more care of yourself please
I just didn't want to carry on skipping over that part of your posts without addressing my feelings to you. You're a sweet person and I know you are having a bit of a stressful time being in a different country and all, but it twinges a small part of me inside when I read that you are trying to normalise something that could be very dangerous for you (YES, I know, pot calling the kettle black). But on that note, I always think of these guys and how they feel about me smoking again, and it helps me not have one (I only had 2 yesterday, and that was only because I was close to ripping someones face off in the office). Knowing these guys have my back when I need them helps me. So I wanted you to know, that I care, and we are here for you and we are here to help.
Kind of this, except that I have been there. I purged by exercise because my gag reflex is nonexistent. It looks healthier to everyone else, but it was still purging.
So, (insert your actual full name here, in my best mom voice) stop it before you give yourself esophageal cancer! It's not a grown-up coping mechanism. Take yourself for a walk, burn a soothing candle, drink the vodka and coke as a short term substitute, but stop the purging, please? We really do care. I really have been there. Think of Lois and me and come pour out your emotions here instead.
No judgment, you can say anything here. I cannot judge you for doing what I have done. I can help you stop.
Thank you too
I’m sorry you had to deal with the same *kitten* (and it pisses me off that everyone assumes exercise is healthier, but that’s a different story.) I consider myself extremely lucky to have dodged the cancer so far and I know I shouldn’t push it further.
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Ah thanks guys! It's crazy how its only been what... 2 weeks and the habit came back so easily and so strong. I hate how irritable I feel right now. I know it will pass, it's just getting back past it again
I don't think of it as you shoving it in anyone's face at all! I would rather you talk through your feelings in a way we might be able to help you or support you. We know people slip up, I'm pretty sure most of us are mid-slip as we speak, but having people around us softens the blows and alleviates the suffering a little.3 -
I’m so thirsty I want to die and I have no water. Aaaargh. I don’t feel like leaving the house to buy it at this point either and I don’t have change...
tomorrow I’m waking up early and buying an entire lake, and for tonight I’m giving up on studying.0 -
Don't die of thirst on me, Soul!
Seriously, I keep a water bottle on my desk at all times. Some days I drink half, other days I drink it 3 or 4 times. Today I am at 1.51 -
quiksylver296 wrote: »I'm off work now (hopefully for a full year!) but boy are the annoying late pregnancy symptoms starting to stack up. If I walk more than 200 yards my hips are done for the day. If I accidentally twist at the wrong angle my pubic bone is in agony. Feet are definitely swelling so my shoes no longer fit, and getting regular visits from Mrs Emma Roid, getting deeply uncomfortable Braxton Hicks several times a day. I think this nature's way of making women actually want to give birth just to end all this nonsense. On a positive note, no sign of the rash from hell yet, so fingers crossed I escape that particular joy.
I guess my daily goal would be try not to be a grumpy cow with other people. That will be tough!
Come on, baby!!!
Don't come on too soon. C-section is booked in just over three weeks and I don't plan on experiencing any more contractions if I can help it. I got more than my fair share last time!2 -
SoulOfRusalka wrote: »
I am now curled up in bed struggling through Harry Potter in Russian instead of doing homework, or paperwork for next semester, or anything that I should be doing. Oops.quiksylver296 wrote: »SoulOfRusalka wrote: »
This is about where my standards are, too.If I make it through the day without crying or alcohol I'll call it a win. I would add chocolate to that list... but that has already happened.
Unfortunately I have neither chocolate nor alcohol since I chickened out of buying a bottle of vodka today... tomorrow it is!
And chocolate is important and good for recovering from dementor attacks so I think you made the right decision.
I hope you make it through the rest of the day okay too!
SELF-CARE ✨✨✨
I used to read Harry Potter in French or German and pretend that was solid language practice. Are you on a year abroad for a language course? I spent mine in Paris and Austria. Fun memories!
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quiksylver296 wrote: »
I have a foolproof plan for losing weight in the run up to Christmas, but it requires about nine months of prep work.2 -
quiksylver296 wrote: »
I have a foolproof plan for losing weight in the run up to Christmas, but it requires about nine months of prep work.
NO WAY!!!
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MelissaPhippsFeagins wrote: »Don't die of thirst on me, Soul!
Seriously, I keep a water bottle on my desk at all times. Some days I drink half, other days I drink it 3 or 4 times. Today I am at 1.5
I'm behind on water today, too. Haven't even made it through one 22 ounce bottle. I'm usually on my 3rd by now.0 -
quiksylver296 wrote: »quiksylver296 wrote: »
I have a foolproof plan for losing weight in the run up to Christmas, but it requires about nine months of prep work.
NO WAY!!!
I did lose weight over the holidays three times with Sam's plan, but I am not interested in doing it again3 -
quiksylver296 wrote: »MelissaPhippsFeagins wrote: »Don't die of thirst on me, Soul!
Seriously, I keep a water bottle on my desk at all times. Some days I drink half, other days I drink it 3 or 4 times. Today I am at 1.5
I'm behind on water today, too. Haven't even made it through one 22 ounce bottle. I'm usually on my 3rd by now.
I made it through the 24 oz bottle 2.5 times. I will finish it with dinner, whenever I get a chance to have that.1 -
So my day just took a bounce off the rails. My dad has fallen and hit his head on his porch rail. My husband works five minutes from dad's house and has been dispatched to give me an update.
Parenting my dad is harder than parenting my middle and high schoolers.0 -
MelissaPhippsFeagins wrote: »So my day just took a bounce off the rails. My dad has fallen and hit his head on his porch rail. My husband works five minutes from dad's house and has been dispatched to give me an update.
Parenting my dad is harder than parenting my middle and high schoolers.
Oh, no! Hopefully it's minor.0 -
quiksylver296 wrote: »MelissaPhippsFeagins wrote: »So my day just took a bounce off the rails. My dad has fallen and hit his head on his porch rail. My husband works five minutes from dad's house and has been dispatched to give me an update.
Parenting my dad is harder than parenting my middle and high schoolers.
Oh, no! Hopefully it's minor.
At 84, I am not sure that anything is truly minor. My dad has a badly scraped knee, but seems to be fine otherwise. He has diabetes, so of course I will be keeping a close eye one his knee. (And wishing I could ground him for going outside without his cane. Stubborn old man.)2 -
rayzerwolf wrote: »I sleep eat, but some times I just get up in the middle of the night and eat. If my partner finds me in the kitchen in the middle of the night and I am not sleeping I some times pretend I am sleeping, and keep eating.
When you sleep eat do you try to make meals or just graze?0 -
SoulOfRusalka wrote: »Confession: I ate a whole roll of double stuf Oreos today. I thought I was in a new phase of my life where suddenly I could do moderation or something. Not so.
Still at maintenance for the day, but ouch...
I have come to accept I do not know moderation... peanut butter, sauvignon blanc... all must be kept away from me at all times!
The only thing I find hard to moderate at times still is ice cream.
Will still keep trying to eat a few servings of a pint & not the whole container.
Unless it's Halo Top or Enlightened then definitely eating the whole damn pint.1 -
SoulOfRusalka wrote: »
Okay!SoulOfRusalka wrote: »quiksylver296 wrote: »Confession - my weight is back up into the 180's. 181.4 this morning. Argh. My rings are tight, so it's some water weight, but definitely time to knuckle down.
I was in the low 160's. So demoralizing, depressing, discouraging, distressing, dispiriting... (I went to thesaurus.com, trying to find the right word.
)
I am still sitting in the low 130s. Shall we get this going together???? I am feeling I could do it this time. I'm making a lot of positive progress in a lot of areas...
Hey, I'm nearly 130, can I join? Sick of being stuck!
(Not to mention that I'm imposing on this thread... you all seem to know each other well but you also seem like nice people, so if I'm annoying you please let me know and I will *kitten* right off. )
Oh, not at all! We lost a lot of people along the way, and would love to breathe some new life into this thread with some new folks! Post away!!!!
Sure, Tami and I (and sometimes Mel and Susie) do daily goals. But I haven't been holding to mine or any of my 2017 or even 4Q goals to date. So, my first goal is to get down below 130 by the end of the month. And to walk nightly. That is what took my weight off last time and I have totally lost that drive.
My goal for today is to buy peanut butter and not eat the entire jar. Let’s see how that goes
You got this!0 -
MelissaPhippsFeagins wrote: »Confession: one of the pair of coworkers who get on my nerves daily was on vacation last week. She came in this morning and said "Did you miss me?" I very nearly said "No." thankfully someone else answered and I didn't have to say anything.
ETA: now her partner in crime has arrived and I left my ear buds at home. How am I going to make it until 3:30?
Bahaha you should have, coupled with the bird.
Love it! 0 -
Yeah, I’m in Russia for one semester and France for another.SoulOfRusalka wrote: »
I am now curled up in bed struggling through Harry Potter in Russian instead of doing homework, or paperwork for next semester, or anything that I should be doing. Oops.quiksylver296 wrote: »SoulOfRusalka wrote: »
This is about where my standards are, too.If I make it through the day without crying or alcohol I'll call it a win. I would add chocolate to that list... but that has already happened.
Unfortunately I have neither chocolate nor alcohol since I chickened out of buying a bottle of vodka today... tomorrow it is!
And chocolate is important and good for recovering from dementor attacks so I think you made the right decision.
I hope you make it through the rest of the day okay too!
SELF-CARE ✨✨✨
I used to read Harry Potter in French or German and pretend that was solid language practice. Are you on a year abroad for a language course? I spent mine in Paris and Austria. Fun memories!
Paris and Austria sound fun!!
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quiksylver296 wrote: »
I have a foolproof plan for losing weight in the run up to Christmas, but it requires about nine months of prep work.
You don't by any chance plan on losing around the size of a baby from your waist? 1 -
MelissaPhippsFeagins wrote: »quiksylver296 wrote: »MelissaPhippsFeagins wrote: »So my day just took a bounce off the rails. My dad has fallen and hit his head on his porch rail. My husband works five minutes from dad's house and has been dispatched to give me an update.
Parenting my dad is harder than parenting my middle and high schoolers.
Oh, no! Hopefully it's minor.
At 84, I am not sure that anything is truly minor. My dad has a badly scraped knee, but seems to be fine otherwise. He has diabetes, so of course I will be keeping a close eye one his knee. (And wishing I could ground him for going outside without his cane. Stubborn old man.)
Awwww Well, I'm glad it wasn't worse, any head injury on elderly people worry me.
I suppose it is quite an adjustment for seniors to suddenly have to take orders from their children, even worse if they are stubborn. I'm going to be the most reckless pensioner in my area. Pink rinse, swearing, the works. I'm looking forward to it. 1
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