Confession Time! ((ABSOLUTELY NO JUDGEMENT))

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  • MelissaPhippsFeagins
    MelissaPhippsFeagins Posts: 8,063 Member
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    @MoHousdon -the rest of my measurements are calf 15, thigh 21, upper arm 12 straight & 13 flexed. Here's a photo, please ignore the windy hair. 463jcl0dffzo.jpg
  • Susieq_1994
    Susieq_1994 Posts: 5,361 Member
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    saraherren wrote: »
    Okay so for anyone who hasn't read my earlier posts, I haven't had a period in almost a year (September last year was my last one) and I have had a severe loss of appetite and literally never get hungry. I lost 80 pounds and reached my goal weight in January. But since then, it's been hard to increase my calorie intake (especially carbs) because I'm afraid of gaining all the weight back. I know I lost my menstrual cycle because I exercised a lot and didn't compensate with enough calories, but I slowed down on the exercise in November while keeping my calories the same with hopes that my period would return (obviously didn't).
    Anyway, for the past month I've been eating under 300 calories a day and I actually have to force myself to eat even that little. Yes, I know it's not healthy to be eating under 300 calories, but at least it's SOMETHING and not anything at all (even though I could easily go without eating for 1-2 days and still not get hungry). I went to my OB at the end of May and she tested my thyroid, sex hormones, etc. and everything came back normal except for my LH level, which was really low.
    I still didn't have an answer on what to do to get my period back, so I went to my family doctor last Monday and she took another blood sample to test my insulin, DHEA, estrogen, progesterone, and thyroid levels and ordered a pelvic ultrasound. The pelvis US showed a benign (thank God) subserosal uterine fibroid which she said is nothing to worry about. **UPDATE** I just got my blood test results for the hormones and they were all normal (thank God). I'm honestly shocked that my thyroid is normal. I have to go back on September 25 for a follow-up, but I asked her what I can do between now and then that could get me to start having a regular menstrual cycle again. She said to cut down my water intake (I drink 5 L a day) and increase my calorie intake to a healthy level again to around 1,500-1,800 a day. I feel like that's going to be hard because I don't eat fast food or drink Starbucks (which I did multiple times daily my entire life up until I graduated college in May of last year). I also only eat foods that are in the perimeter of the grocery store (so obviously no processed foods).

    I'm glad that everything came back normal, but it really seems to me that you've given yourself an eating disorder--the fear of increasing your calories, the eating of next to nothing and not being able to eat more, and your fear of eating processed foods all come together to point to a very scary outlook of food. I highly advise you to try to get yourself some help from a therapist who specializes in eating disorders.

    I'm not trying to patronize you or be rude, but this is a truly dangerous path you're taking--please take the steps to reverse it, because the effects on your life, especially as you continue to grow older, will be devastating. Please take care of yourself! <3
  • ythannah
    ythannah Posts: 4,369 Member
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    pofoster21 wrote: »
    FroggyBug wrote: »
    pofoster21 wrote: »
    @KylerJaye I am so sorry! Maybe he got cold feet on how fast you guys were moving (even though he instigated it) or maybe he just realized a commitment wasn't what he wanted, or even to your point the ex. Either way, its his problem and his loss. You don't have to feel embarrassed. I would be most of us on this thread have been there before. To be honest, this is one of the reasons I avoid dating completely, I got way too tied up/committed too quickly if I like a guy and get my heart broken. It just means your human, sensitive, and caring. Those are all positive attributes. So, grieve for a while but there are other (lots of other) fish in the sea that will LOVE to be with you. You just need to find the right one. And if you keep looking you will some day.

    And we look forward to your next dating adventure. Don't be the least bit embarrassed!

    I'm pretty sure I'm going to not date anymore if my current relationship doesn't work out. I am the same as you and I fall in love/commit too fast and hard. I am very emotional too. I sometimes think it would be easier to just avoid that. Plus, you seem like you are free to do things at any time (travel etc). I love that!

    I am very happy with my life. I admit I sometimes think I would like someone in my life but then I see people feeling constricted with having to manage others expectations. I am not interested in managing to any one else's expectations. Maybe that will change but I am basically a loner. I like to manage my life on my schedule and I am ok with being alone. I may meet someone one day but he'd have to be pretty special (and tolerant and equally independent ).

    You're describing me to a T, and I found one. You couldn't have designed a more perfect man for me if you'd had a laundry list of desirable qualities as a template.

    For every pot there is a lid, and all that.
  • ythannah
    ythannah Posts: 4,369 Member
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    MoHousdon wrote: »
    I started SL 5x5 last night with Mr. Mo. He didn't even try to weasel out of it and that made me so happy. I was able to talk one of our friends that lifts into helping us so we made sure our form was correct and we knew how to do each lift properly. I felt VERY out of place in the weight room because everyone else knew what they were doing and didn't have a "coach". Anywho, he was very encouraging and helpful and I'm glad he was there.

    We took our measurements last night and I'm sad about mine. My waist measured 31" across my belly button, (I've been bloated lately, so I'm not sure how accurate that really was) my hips are 37.5, biceps are both 10" while my quads are 19.5", (I think) and my calves are I think 15". Not sure what "healthy" measurements for someone 5'7 should be.

    The DOMS are strong with this one this morning. Especially my neck from where the bar was resting during my squats. I feel bruised.

    I enjoyed the lifting, but more than that, I enjoyed spending time with my honey.

    Yay for lifting! :)

    I never got past that bruised feeling... no matter where I put the bar, it was always grinding nastily on vertebrae (I'm pretty bony). I don't have whatever "shelf" you're supposed to have for resting the bar.

    I finally bought myself a Squat Sponge. Problem solved.
  • ythannah
    ythannah Posts: 4,369 Member
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  • MoHousdon
    MoHousdon Posts: 8,722 Member
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    kecmw25 wrote: »
    Yay for starting Stronglifts @MoHousdon & double yay for Mr Mo joining you. I think that would be fun to do with your hubby.

    I confess that today is my birthday and I am usually so excited about it but seemingly not this year and I'm not sure why. I am kind of all over the map today. I started out a little weepy, like I wanted to cry over nothing. Now that I'm at work, lets just say I'm easily irritated. I know what it sounds like and that's a possibility but I'm out of town (at at waterpark no less) this weekend so if it's true that would be...lets call it less than ideal. I was going to bake cookies or something to bring in as a treat but got lazy so I bought fun size candy bars instead. I have had more than my share already. Tuesdays my daughter has swim lessons so we usually have leftovers for dinner but who wants leftovers on their birthday so...fast food. I choose Chick-Fil-A. I'm excited about this :)

    I think it's nice when people bring treats for their birthday. I just never think about it.

    I've had Chick-fil-a on my birthday several years. No shame in that! Enjoy your day.

  • MoHousdon
    MoHousdon Posts: 8,722 Member
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    pofoster21 wrote: »
    jthurman3 wrote: »
    pofoster21 wrote: »
    nonoelmo wrote: »
    pofoster21 wrote: »
    pofoster21 wrote: »
    MoHousdon wrote: »
    pofoster21 wrote: »
    MoHousdon wrote: »
    I went through my friends list and deleted people that I've had no interaction with. 2 of these people I know in real life. What is the point of being friends with someone if they NEVER comment on anything you post?! I need interactive friends.

    I'm interactive, I swear! Just busy!

    And apparently a bit worried Mo will delete you! :)

    Of course! :'(

    Never gonna happen, quik! I was even talking about you this weekend, referring to you as "my friend who lives in Iowa". I also mentioned @pofoster21, in regards to her taking us horseback riding and on a tour of NYC.

    I am your friend in NJ and I am looking forward to it! We can go visit my Mom in East Hampton and go to Montauk and go riding on the beach!

    Can I come too? I promise to take good care of the horses and to be totally excited about Broadway. :D

    Of course! All are welcome!


    Me me me too!

    I love horses, love cats (and speak fluent cat) and I'd be over the moon to see NY and Broadway. (pick me, pick me!)

    Hey you guys,just need,to show up. Just don't blow all my vacation time.... or show up all at once. :)

    Party at POF's!! Count me in. I'd love to see NYC (I want to go to a Broadway show!!) AND go riding/exploring more out in nature in NJ or wherever.

    Well I have a spare bedroom and spare bathroom. And a pull out couch. And some floor space. We could get quite a few of us in there!

    Dibs on the bedroom. :wink:

  • MoHousdon
    MoHousdon Posts: 8,722 Member
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    TigerNY128 wrote: »
    MoHousdon wrote: »
    I started SL 5x5 last night with Mr. Mo. He didn't even try to weasel out of it and that made me so happy. I was able to talk one of our friends that lifts into helping us so we made sure our form was correct and we knew how to do each lift properly. I felt VERY out of place in the weight room because everyone else knew what they were doing and didn't have a "coach". Anywho, he was very encouraging and helpful and I'm glad he was there.

    We took our measurements last night and I'm sad about mine. My waist measured 31" across my belly button, (I've been bloated lately, so I'm not sure how accurate that really was) my hips are 37.5, biceps are both 10" while my quads are 19.5", (I think) and my calves are I think 15". Not sure what "healthy" measurements for someone 5'7 should be.

    The DOMS are strong with this one this morning. Especially my neck from where the bar was resting during my squats. I feel bruised.

    I enjoyed the lifting, but more than that, I enjoyed spending time with my honey.

    I commented with this on your status, but I'll put it here as well...I usually don't feel sore til 24-36 hours after a workout. Mr. NY feels sore within like 12 hours. It's weird how our bodies are different!

    My neck was sore from the bar for about 2 weeks or so. Now it's fine, even though I'm adding more weight each week.

    I am never usually hungry right after a workout, but about 3 weeks in to my weight lifting routine (I'm 5 weeks in now), I realized I was a LOT hungrier in general...every day. I had to up my calories by about 150 on off days and 250 on workout days. Just fyi!

    I will have to be on the lookout for the lifting hunger. Speaking of sore, Mr. Mo is WAY more sore than I am today. I actually feel pretty good now. We'll see what tomorrow brings.

    Thanks again, everyone, for all the advice.

  • MoHousdon
    MoHousdon Posts: 8,722 Member
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    kecmw25 wrote: »

    Happy Birthday!!!! Hope your day improves. Big Hugs!!
    pofoster21 wrote: »

    Happy birthday! I usually get super excited about my birthday too but the last couple of years not so much. :(

    Try and enjoy the day.
    jthurman3 wrote: »

    Happy birthday!!! I hope your day improves a ton and that you enjoy the heck out of your dinner tonight!! I'll be honest... I'm a grumpy brat if I have to work on my birthday. So I can understand being irritable....maybe that's all it is? I hope so for your waterpark enjoyment purposes this weekend. :-)
    nonoelmo wrote: »

    Have a great birthday!!!

    Thanks everyone!! My mood is definitely getting better. It might be the fun size chocolate, looking forward to Chick-Fil-A or that my work day is almost done. Maybe it's all the awesome people wishing me a happy birthday. This is what was on my facebook news feed

    ETA: the picture turned out very large and it was a little scary. It was from The Walking Dead and it said Zombody's having a Birthday or something like that. I apologize if anyone was creeped out

    Can you post the picture in the batcave?
  • MoHousdon
    MoHousdon Posts: 8,722 Member
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    @MoHousdon -the rest of my measurements are calf 15, thigh 21, upper arm 12 straight & 13 flexed. Here's a photo, please ignore the windy hair. 463jcl0dffzo.jpg

    You're a tiny little thing.

    Did the person taking your picture why you were having them take it?



  • MoHousdon
    MoHousdon Posts: 8,722 Member
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    @ythannah I've never heard of a squat sponge, but maybe I'll look into it.

  • quiksylver296
    quiksylver296 Posts: 28,440 Member
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    MoHousdon wrote: »
    I started SL 5x5 last night with Mr. Mo. He didn't even try to weasel out of it and that made me so happy. I was able to talk one of our friends that lifts into helping us so we made sure our form was correct and we knew how to do each lift properly. I felt VERY out of place in the weight room because everyone else knew what they were doing and didn't have a "coach". Anywho, he was very encouraging and helpful and I'm glad he was there.

    We took our measurements last night and I'm sad about mine. My waist measured 31" across my belly button, (I've been bloated lately, so I'm not sure how accurate that really was) my hips are 37.5, biceps are both 10" while my quads are 19.5", (I think) and my calves are I think 15". Not sure what "healthy" measurements for someone 5'7 should be.

    The DOMS are strong with this one this morning. Especially my neck from where the bar was resting during my squats. I feel bruised.

    I enjoyed the lifting, but more than that, I enjoyed spending time with my honey.

    For what it's worth, I am 5'7" and my waist is 31" and hips are 40.5. (I am definitely pear-shaped.) Not sure about the rest, I'll measure tonight and let you know.

    Was there no pad for the bar? I don't use it because the Velcro sticks to my ponytail, but my gym has them.

    I got that bruised feeling really bad the first few times I did squats, but it soon stopped.

    Coming in to this conversation late, but make sure the bar isn't sitting on top of your shoulders. It should be more like sitting on your shoulder blades.
  • quiksylver296
    quiksylver296 Posts: 28,440 Member
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    pofoster21 wrote: »
    Random the guy speaking now in this meeting (a creative from our main agency) is smacking his lips and burping his way through the presentation. He is making me nauseous. I am judging.

    Gross.
  • nonoelmo
    nonoelmo Posts: 3,941 Member
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    ythannah wrote: »
    pofoster21 wrote: »
    FroggyBug wrote: »
    pofoster21 wrote: »
    @KylerJaye I am so sorry! Maybe he got cold feet on how fast you guys were moving (even though he instigated it) or maybe he just realized a commitment wasn't what he wanted, or even to your point the ex. Either way, its his problem and his loss. You don't have to feel embarrassed. I would be most of us on this thread have been there before. To be honest, this is one of the reasons I avoid dating completely, I got way too tied up/committed too quickly if I like a guy and get my heart broken. It just means your human, sensitive, and caring. Those are all positive attributes. So, grieve for a while but there are other (lots of other) fish in the sea that will LOVE to be with you. You just need to find the right one. And if you keep looking you will some day.

    And we look forward to your next dating adventure. Don't be the least bit embarrassed!

    I'm pretty sure I'm going to not date anymore if my current relationship doesn't work out. I am the same as you and I fall in love/commit too fast and hard. I am very emotional too. I sometimes think it would be easier to just avoid that. Plus, you seem like you are free to do things at any time (travel etc). I love that!

    I am very happy with my life. I admit I sometimes think I would like someone in my life but then I see people feeling constricted with having to manage others expectations. I am not interested in managing to any one else's expectations. Maybe that will change but I am basically a loner. I like to manage my life on my schedule and I am ok with being alone. I may meet someone one day but he'd have to be pretty special (and tolerant and equally independent ).

    You're describing me to a T, and I found one. You couldn't have designed a more perfect man for me if you'd had a laundry list of desirable qualities as a template.

    For every pot there is a lid, and all that.

    Yes!
  • ythannah
    ythannah Posts: 4,369 Member
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    MoHousdon wrote: »
    @ythannah I've never heard of a squat sponge, but maybe I'll look into it.

    I use mine for hip thrusts too. Prior to that I was folding an old dog bed in thirds to pad the bar.

    5215231_orig.jpg
  • nonoelmo
    nonoelmo Posts: 3,941 Member
    edited August 2015
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    For @KylerJaye and anyone else who could use a list of breakup songs:

    Breakup Songs (My ipod play list)

    I put these songs together for a friend. I think they cover a lot of the emotions of a breakup.


    Jar of Hearts – Christina Perri

    Don’t Know Why – Norah Jones


    Nothing Compares 2 U – Sinead O’Connor

    Landslide – Fleetwood Mac

    Without You – Harry Nilsson

    Hallelujah – Rufus Wainwright

    The Tracks of my Tears – Smokey Robinson & The Miracles

    I Try – Macy Gray

    I’d Rather Go Blind – Rachel Crow

    Since U Been Gone – Kelly Clarkson

    Cry me a River – Justin Timberlake

    Rumour Has It – Adele

    Broken Promises For Broken Hearts – She Wants Revenge

    Can Die No More – Lake of Tears

    Never Gonna Happen – Lily Allen

    Ever Fallen In Love – Buzzcocks


    Tainted Love – Soft Cell

    Stop Draggin’ My Heart Around – Stevie Nicks & Tom Petty

    Harden My Heart – Quarterflash

    I Will Survive - Cake


    ETA - My personal favorites of this list I've bolded. I love She Wants Revenge (and have seen them). Lily Allen makes me smile. Hallelujah by Rufus Wainwright is achingly beautiful.
  • kellienw335
    kellienw335 Posts: 1,745 Member
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    @kecmw25 - Happy Birthday!
  • CooCooPuff
    CooCooPuff Posts: 4,374 Member
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    Today has been the opposite of yesterday. Everything has gone so well.

    I went to a screening of End of Tour fully in such an awful mood, I was fully prepared to go to sleep as soon as the movie started. The movie itself was really good and just made me forget about the garbage I had to deal with.

    Today, I went to Krogers and picked up brownie batter and cookies and creme oreos, they actually had egg whites in stock, and they had a great deal on pork. It was super hot for most of the morning, but when the time came to go to the park, some rain clouds came in and kept everything cool. I also came home to find out that I won reserved seats to a screening for Straight Out of Compton tomorrow. :)
  • nonoelmo
    nonoelmo Posts: 3,941 Member
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    Today has been the opposite of yesterday. Everything has gone so well.

    I went to a screening of End of Tour fully in such an awful mood, I was fully prepared to go to sleep as soon as the movie started. The movie itself was really good and just made me forget about the garbage I had to deal with.

    Today, I went to Krogers and picked up brownie batter and cookies and creme oreos, they actually had egg whites in stock, and they had a great deal on pork. It was super hot for most of the morning, but when the time came to go to the park, some rain clouds came in and kept everything cool. I also came home to find out that I won reserved seats to a screening for Straight Out of Compton tomorrow. :)

    Yay. Sounds like a fantastic Day! :smiley:
  • saraherren
    saraherren Posts: 59 Member
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    saraherren wrote: »
    Okay so for anyone who hasn't read my earlier posts, I haven't had a period in almost a year (September last year was my last one) and I have had a severe loss of appetite and literally never get hungry. I lost 80 pounds and reached my goal weight in January. But since then, it's been hard to increase my calorie intake (especially carbs) because I'm afraid of gaining all the weight back. I know I lost my menstrual cycle because I exercised a lot and didn't compensate with enough calories, but I slowed down on the exercise in November while keeping my calories the same with hopes that my period would return (obviously didn't).
    Anyway, for the past month I've been eating under 300 calories a day and I actually have to force myself to eat even that little. Yes, I know it's not healthy to be eating under 300 calories, but at least it's SOMETHING and not anything at all (even though I could easily go without eating for 1-2 days and still not get hungry). I went to my OB at the end of May and she tested my thyroid, sex hormones, etc. and everything came back normal except for my LH level, which was really low.
    I still didn't have an answer on what to do to get my period back, so I went to my family doctor last Monday and she took another blood sample to test my insulin, DHEA, estrogen, progesterone, and thyroid levels and ordered a pelvic ultrasound. The pelvis US showed a benign (thank God) subserosal uterine fibroid which she said is nothing to worry about. **UPDATE** I just got my blood test results for the hormones and they were all normal (thank God). I'm honestly shocked that my thyroid is normal. I have to go back on September 25 for a follow-up, but I asked her what I can do between now and then that could get me to start having a regular menstrual cycle again. She said to cut down my water intake (I drink 5 L a day) and increase my calorie intake to a healthy level again to around 1,500-1,800 a day. I feel like that's going to be hard because I don't eat fast food or drink Starbucks (which I did multiple times daily my entire life up until I graduated college in May of last year). I also only eat foods that are in the perimeter of the grocery store (so obviously no processed foods).

    Milk and cottage cheese (full fat) are on the perimeter. Buy a protein shake mix - EAS Complete Nutrition is good and at Target - and drink that in your milk. Eat the cottage cheese with fruits and veggies. I have been where you are. I know you don't want to, but do it anyway. 1/2 cup of cottage cheese and one shake a day for a week or so and then two of each. As your appetite comes back, you can sub in chicken or whatever meat you like for a shake. Good luck. It is hard work.

    I don't eat dairy products since they make me break out. Eating more is so much easier said than done. I eat 8 oz of meat every day (4 oz chicken and 4 oz extra lean ground turkey) and plenty of veggies of mainly leafy greens.