Confession Time! ((ABSOLUTELY NO JUDGEMENT))
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berlynnwall wrote: »... double post, MFP blip...
Phew. It's not just me, lol.My confession: I live vicariously through the people in this forum, because I have no physical friends. It's like watching the group of cool kids in the playground back when I was at school.
I don't really have friends either. There's another mom I get along pretty well with but we only see each other on the rare days she picks up her kids... but I've been so disappointed by friendships in the past, I don't actually care. Well, except when people talk about going out with their friends and post all the pictures and it makes me feel very lonely. But I haven't had a close friend since my first marriage 15 years ago.
Until recently I had one friend who I actually hung out with in real life. A few weeks ago, I forced myself to reach out to an acquaintance who had a new baby and it went well, so now I have 2 friends. I am jealous of women who are close to their sisters - my sister is on drugs and won't talk to me. /sad
I'm sorry. I can somewhat relate: my sister (my only sibling) disowned me when I left the family religion when I turned 18. Just recently she tried talking to me again, which I'm open to, but in her eyes I'm still a bad person so I'm not welcome at her house. Needless to say, I have a hard time reconciling that and rebuilding a relationship at the same time, so I've basically just done nothing about it.0 -
ddrhellbunny wrote: »
I still owe $12k in school loans and I graduated 6 years ago
Yea I still owe about $50K and I've been out of school since 2006. I wish I had never gone to college most of the time.
I have to say, BZAH10 is one of my favorite people in this thread. She tries to talk to as many different people as possible and I love that. I wish I could comment more. I need to start reading this when I'm at home.
Thank you! Sadly, I'm in the "no friends in real life" catagory so I have to say I've been enjoying this thread immensely! And, to be honest, your comment just made my day!0 -
tincanonastring wrote: »quiksylver296 wrote: »tincanonastring wrote: »My confession: I live vicariously through the people in this forum, because I have no physical friends. It's like watching the group of cool kids in the playground back when I was at school.
My wife's 3 closest friends died in high school in the same accident and, though she probably won't admit it, I don't think she will ever allow herself to get close to people like that again.
Confession: Despite countless conversations over our 13 years together, I have been unable to convince my wife that she is not responsible for the deaths of her friends and I fear she may never stop blaming herself.
How terribly awful for her. I can't imagine.tincanonastring wrote: »My confession: I live vicariously through the people in this forum, because I have no physical friends. It's like watching the group of cool kids in the playground back when I was at school.
My wife's 3 closest friends died in high school in the same accident and, though she probably won't admit it, I don't think she will ever allow herself to get close to people like that again.
Confession: Despite countless conversations over our 13 years together, I have been unable to convince my wife that she is not responsible for the deaths of her friends and I fear she may never stop blaming herself.
Oh my god. That is the most upsetting thing I think I've ever heard. Give her hugs from me.tincanonastring wrote: »My confession: I live vicariously through the people in this forum, because I have no physical friends. It's like watching the group of cool kids in the playground back when I was at school.
My wife's 3 closest friends died in high school in the same accident and, though she probably won't admit it, I don't think she will ever allow herself to get close to people like that again.
Confession: Despite countless conversations over our 13 years together, I have been unable to convince my wife that she is not responsible for the deaths of her friends and I fear she may never stop blaming herself.
Wow...this is very sad.
I feel for her so *kitten* much. Not only does she blame herself and have a hard time making friends, the accident (car full of kids on spring break got hit by a drunk driver) gave her this intense fatalistic approach to life that, at least in my mind, has held her back from trying new things. I have no reference point to empathize, so all I can offer is sympathy and it kills me to be unable to "fix" it.
Has she tried therapy? I'm actually speechless, I hope she can overcome this.0 -
berlynnwall wrote: »... double post, MFP blip...
Phew. It's not just me, lol.My confession: I live vicariously through the people in this forum, because I have no physical friends. It's like watching the group of cool kids in the playground back when I was at school.
I don't really have friends either. There's another mom I get along pretty well with but we only see each other on the rare days she picks up her kids... but I've been so disappointed by friendships in the past, I don't actually care. Well, except when people talk about going out with their friends and post all the pictures and it makes me feel very lonely. But I haven't had a close friend since my first marriage 15 years ago.
Until recently I had one friend who I actually hung out with in real life. A few weeks ago, I forced myself to reach out to an acquaintance who had a new baby and it went well, so now I have 2 friends. I am jealous of women who are close to their sisters - my sister is on drugs and won't talk to me. /sad
I'm sorry. I can somewhat relate: my sister (my only sibling) disowned me when I left the family religion when I turned 18. Just recently she tried talking to me again, which I'm open to, but in her eyes I'm still a bad person so I'm not welcome at her house. Needless to say, I have a hard time reconciling that and rebuilding a relationship at the same time, so I've basically just done nothing about it.
That is rough. I would have a hard time reconciling that too. It seems unfair for her to expect you to be open to talking while still actively judging you. I think my sister wont talk to me because she is afraid that I will judge her harshly and be mean to her. So it really is similar.0 -
courtenaymichele wrote: »My coworker and I were just talking smack about our boss because we thought we were the only ones in the office. Nope, he's here and heard it all...
Oooh, ouch! Sorry about that. What has happened since? Awkward silence? Hope you don't have negative repercussions.0 -
berlynnwall wrote: »... double post, MFP blip...
Phew. It's not just me, lol.My confession: I live vicariously through the people in this forum, because I have no physical friends. It's like watching the group of cool kids in the playground back when I was at school.
I don't really have friends either. There's another mom I get along pretty well with but we only see each other on the rare days she picks up her kids... but I've been so disappointed by friendships in the past, I don't actually care. Well, except when people talk about going out with their friends and post all the pictures and it makes me feel very lonely. But I haven't had a close friend since my first marriage 15 years ago.
Until recently I had one friend who I actually hung out with in real life. A few weeks ago, I forced myself to reach out to an acquaintance who had a new baby and it went well, so now I have 2 friends. I am jealous of women who are close to their sisters - my sister is on drugs and won't talk to me. /sad
I'm sorry. I can somewhat relate: my sister (my only sibling) disowned me when I left the family religion when I turned 18. Just recently she tried talking to me again, which I'm open to, but in her eyes I'm still a bad person so I'm not welcome at her house. Needless to say, I have a hard time reconciling that and rebuilding a relationship at the same time, so I've basically just done nothing about it.
Very sad!!! I have 3 sisters and I absolutely ADORE them. Only one of them lives in the same state as me and we're very close. I'd lay in traffic for any of them.0 -
Twice I have had a set of friends lose someone extremely close in a tragedy where they were there. First set 14 years ago over spring break from college . Friend drown in front of them other person was also drowning (rip tide). Surfer could only save one of them and picked the person (girl) closest to him. Other friends lost best friend 3 years ago (and for one of them his new wife) drowning while all on vacation together in another country. I was friends with both who died but not best friends so it hurt but it didn't change who I am. I am close to both sets of people who where onsite when their best friend died. For them it changed who they were before it happened. It is a very hard gut wrenching process for both sets of people. All involved are better now but it was a very hard process with both situations. I really feel for your wife and for you trying to help her.tincanonastring wrote: »quiksylver296 wrote: »Amanda4change wrote: »AngryViking1970 wrote: »Confession: I have close to -0- sympathy when someone is sick. My husband has what has to be his eleventy billionth man cold of the season and I don't care. At all. All night long, "honey, bring me a sweatshirt. Honey, I don't feel good. Touch my forehead, do I have a fever?". He slept wearing a hat, for God's sake. I couldn't have rolled my eyes back in my head any further without risk of injury. I'm a little better when my son is sick, but that's because he doesn't whine about it. Even so, most times I give him some tylenol and tell him to rally.
This!!! I do good with my kids when they are sick but not at all with hubby. I'm so tired of the OMG I'm sick need peace and quite so I can get better, the world has to stop when he gets sick. However when I'm sick I still have to do everything I normally would, cooking, cleaning taking care of the kids. Even an uninterrupted 5 minutes to puke my guts out isn't possible.
I confess I have the best hubby. If I am sick, I got to bed and don't get bothered. He takes care of the kid and house, makes meals, etc. He goes to bed when he is sick and doesn't ask for much. Usually, even if I offer, he doesn't want anything but left alone.
I do this for my wife, too. It's how I justify acting like a 2-year old at the slightest sniffle or stubbed toe.
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kellienw335 wrote: »
I had my left middle ear removed as a young child, and hence can get a Qtip almost all the way into my head. It's my party trick!courtneyk0721 wrote: »I know that you're not supposed to clean your ears with a q-tip every day.. but I can't help it! I love having clean ears.
Once, a fly crawled into my ear. I could hear and feel it walking around inside my head. That wasn't a nice experience. If my friend hadn't seen it come out and fly away I might still have nightmares that it was still there...
Also, these confessions about people having no friends make me really sad. I only have a couple, but I'm close with my family. I have been thinking I should put myself out there to make more friends, but when you're older it gets much harder. Any super-social people got tips?
Well, I'm not super social, but my guess would be that we'd all have more "physical" friends if we stopped following this string and talked to some "physical" people.
Pshaw. Get out of here with your logic
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I'm very indecisive. My mind goes back and forth between "I don't really need to lose weight.... maybe I should just try to firm up!" and "I'm so disgusting and fat. I'll never look good.'' Mostly the latter. This is why I need to check out this place and get some positive energy going. I'm sure there are tons of people on here who can relate. It still sucks, though.
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tincanonastring wrote: »quiksylver296 wrote: »tincanonastring wrote: »My confession: I live vicariously through the people in this forum, because I have no physical friends. It's like watching the group of cool kids in the playground back when I was at school.
My wife's 3 closest friends died in high school in the same accident and, though she probably won't admit it, I don't think she will ever allow herself to get close to people like that again.
Confession: Despite countless conversations over our 13 years together, I have been unable to convince my wife that she is not responsible for the deaths of her friends and I fear she may never stop blaming herself.
How terribly awful for her. I can't imagine.tincanonastring wrote: »My confession: I live vicariously through the people in this forum, because I have no physical friends. It's like watching the group of cool kids in the playground back when I was at school.
My wife's 3 closest friends died in high school in the same accident and, though she probably won't admit it, I don't think she will ever allow herself to get close to people like that again.
Confession: Despite countless conversations over our 13 years together, I have been unable to convince my wife that she is not responsible for the deaths of her friends and I fear she may never stop blaming herself. Oh my god. That is the most upsetting thing I think I've ever heard. Give her hugs from me.tincanonastring wrote: »My confession: I live vicariously through the people in this forum, because I have no physical friends. It's like watching the group of cool kids in the playground back when I was at school.
My wife's 3 closest friends died in high school in the same accident and, though she probably won't admit it, I don't think she will ever allow herself to get close to people like that again.
Confession: Despite countless conversations over our 13 years together, I have been unable to convince my wife that she is not responsible for the deaths of her friends and I fear she may never stop blaming herself.
Wow...this is very sad.
I feel for her so *kitten* much. Not only does she blame herself and have a hard time making friends, the accident (car full of kids on spring break got hit by a drunk driver) gave her this intense fatalistic approach to life that, at least in my mind, has held her back from trying new things. I have no reference point to empathize, so all I can offer is sympathy and it kills me to be unable to "fix" it.
Has she tried therapy? I'm actually speechless, I hope she can overcome this.
She was in therapy before I met her, but she never continued it. I think having the kids has helped overcome some of the "regret that I lived," but I think it would be beneficial to talk to someone about it. I have given up trying to convince her of that fact.0 -
I had my left middle ear removed as a young child, and hence can get a Qtip almost all the way into my head. It's my party trick!courtneyk0721 wrote: »I know that you're not supposed to clean your ears with a q-tip every day.. but I can't help it! I love having clean ears.
Once, a fly crawled into my ear. I could hear and feel it walking around inside my head. That wasn't a nice experience. If my friend hadn't seen it come out and fly away I might still have nightmares that it was still there...
Also, these confessions about people having no friends make me really sad. I only have a couple, but I'm close with my family. I have been thinking I should put myself out there to make more friends, but when you're older it gets much harder. Any super-social people got tips?
And, that is probably the creepiest thing I've read on this thread! Seriously made me squirm.
I am anti-social so I have no tips for you. Currently, the only female friend I have is my youngest son's girlfriend! Sad, no? Well, she's a fun person and much more mature than her years, so I don't feel too badly about it.0 -
Last night I did that (which was a big step for me) he asked me what I was looking at onine and I froze a little. He noticed and asked what site I was on so I said my fitness pal. In the past I just would have said no where really.
Good for you! Can you maybe tell him that it's just something you have trouble talking about because you are afraid it will make it harder for you or put more pressure on you if not private? I'm feeling sympathetic to both of you here, and it's such an understandable thing, even if you know it's unfounded. I was super private about the fact I was trying to lose weight at first too, because even though of course I wanted to I was so scared I'd fail and didn't want to have that bring me from being relatively okay with being fat (since I kept telling myself I didn't mind it) to some other state of mind that might result in a negative spiral. Once I started feeling a little more confident that it would work I was much more able to be open. I'm not married, which made it easier in some ways, but I know my sister and friends thought I had this secret life a bit even so. (The crazy thing is when you want to tell an anecdote about something on MFP but no one else knows you do MFP or is familiar with it and you don't want to go into it so realize after starting that it's impossible to explain why it's funny or in what context it came up.)0 -
I've noticed that instantly after I workout I view myself differently in the mirror. It's strange, but when I'm super lazy I think I look fat and disgusting. After working out I instantly think I'm gorgeous even tho the way I look hasn't changed. Maybe make some workout goals and appreciate the improvements in what your body can do to improve your self image.FluffySandwich wrote: »I'm very indecisive. My mind goes back and forth between "I don't really need to lose weight.... maybe I should just try to firm up!" and "I'm so disgusting and fat. I'll never look good.'' Mostly the latter. This is why I need to check out this place and get some positive energy going. I'm sure there are tons of people on here who can relate. It still sucks, though.
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tincanonastring wrote: »My confession: I live vicariously through the people in this forum, because I have no physical friends. It's like watching the group of cool kids in the playground back when I was at school.
My wife's 3 closest friends died in high school in the same accident and, though she probably won't admit it, I don't think she will ever allow herself to get close to people like that again.
Confession: Despite countless conversations over our 13 years together, I have been unable to convince my wife that she is not responsible for the deaths of her friends and I fear she may never stop blaming herself.
Oh, wow. I can only imagine the impact that had. I'm glad you are so supportive of your wife. Has she ever tried counseling? Carrying that around with you your whole life has got to be completely exhausting. Give her a great big hug from all of us! (weird? probably. just felt really badly after reading that)0 -
I had my left middle ear removed as a young child, and hence can get a Qtip almost all the way into my head. It's my party trick!courtneyk0721 wrote: »I know that you're not supposed to clean your ears with a q-tip every day.. but I can't help it! I love having clean ears.
Once, a fly crawled into my ear. I could hear and feel it walking around inside my head. That wasn't a nice experience. If my friend hadn't seen it come out and fly away I might still have nightmares that it was still there...
Also, these confessions about people having no friends make me really sad. I only have a couple, but I'm close with my family. I have been thinking I should put myself out there to make more friends, but when you're older it gets much harder. Any super-social people got tips?
And, that is probably the creepiest thing I've read on this thread! Seriously made me squirm.
I am anti-social so I have no tips for you. Currently, the only female friend I have is my youngest son's girlfriend! Sad, no? Well, she's a fun person and much more mature than her years, so I don't feel too badly about it.
Agree, a fly in your ear is horrifying. My six year old watches animal planet/nat geo/discovery channel specials with my husband and is terrified that these kinds of things will happen. I spend countless hours convincing him they won't.0 -
Twice I have had a set of friends lose someone extremely close in a tragedy where they were there. First set 14 years ago over spring break from college . Friend drown in front of them other person was also drowning (rip tide). Surfer could only save one of them and picked the person (girl) closest to him. Other friends lost best friend 3 years ago (and for one of them his new wife) drowning while all on vacation together in another country. I was friends with both who died but not best friends so it hurt but it didn't change who I am. I am close to both sets of people who where onsite when their best friend died. For them it changed who they were before it happened. It is a very hard gut wrenching process for both sets of people. All involved are better now but it was a very hard process with both situations. I really feel for your wife and for you trying to help her.
Wow....this is making me cry now. I cannot begin to imagine. I'd probably be traumatized for the rest of my life!
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FluffySandwich wrote: »I'm very indecisive. My mind goes back and forth between "I don't really need to lose weight.... maybe I should just try to firm up!" and "I'm so disgusting and fat. I'll never look good.'' Mostly the latter. This is why I need to check out this place and get some positive energy going. I'm sure there are tons of people on here who can relate. It still sucks, though.
Me too! Don't feel bad.0 -
I had a moth fly in my ear once. My husband thought I was making it up but the thing was buzzing in my ear (it was like 11pm at night too) and we ended up going to the ER... the doctor that removed it hated bugs too. It was slightly entertaining (the $100 copay wasn't).
I'm so sorry for Tincan's wife... I can't even imagine. And all the others who lost friends like that...
I have a twin sister and we never really got along well. She actually came to visit in January and I hadn't seen her in 3 years and it went really well... but when we visited her, she was yelling at me all the time. Hmm I wonder who the 'difficult' one is... We were pretty close until Middle school when she started siding with the kids who were bullying me... it was never the same after that.
Ok my confession - I've eaten 200-400 calories of sweets every day for a month now and it's the first month in 10 months that I've actually managed to stick to my deficit, and lose inches (and weight, probably, but PMS is coming so I can't check that yet). So I secretly (or not) laugh at people who make themselves miserable thinking that they have to eat 'clean' to lose weight... I do better when I have sweets every day... and haven't binged once.
Also I'm really sick of people telling me to 'lift heavy' to lose my loose skin. My loose skin (and the stubborn fat underneath) is completely detached from my muscles, I don't know with what law of physics building muscle would actually help. Plus I hate lifting heavy. I still do it with my heavy dumbbells once a week (gotten lazy) to help maintaining my muscle mass, but apparently if you follow MFP's wisdom, if it's not barbells, it's useless. Screw that.
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littled1986 wrote: »
I've noticed that instantly after I workout I view myself differently in the mirror. It's strange, but when I'm super lazy I think I look fat and disgusting. After working out I instantly think I'm gorgeous even tho the way I look hasn't changed. Maybe make some workout goals and appreciate the improvements in what your body can do to improve your self image.FluffySandwich wrote: »I'm very indecisive. My mind goes back and forth between "I don't really need to lose weight.... maybe I should just try to firm up!" and "I'm so disgusting and fat. I'll never look good.'' Mostly the latter. This is why I need to check out this place and get some positive energy going. I'm sure there are tons of people on here who can relate. It still sucks, though.
This is great advice. I too, feel best right after a workout, or after a few good workouts. I feel confident in my body and what it can do.
Setting athletic goals (run longer, run faster, more chinups/pushups, etc.) are so much more motivating than weight goals. While both are good to have, the former tend to give you more confidence and are "easier" reached than some arbitrary number that relies on so many things (food, water, sodium, water retention, bloat, sore muscles, etc.)0 -
AgentOrangeJuice wrote: »tincanonastring wrote: »Confession: One time, my parents took me to this flash mob thing. This was back in the 80's when people did *kitten* as a group and didn't need a flashy name for it. Anyway, we went to this drive-in that was playing a zombie triple feature. We dressed as zombies and shambled out from under the screen while the movies were playing. We banged on all the car windows moaning and pretending to be the undead. Most people thought it was funny, but I remember this one kid was just terrified. I've always felt bad for him and wondered how if he ever recovered from the shock.
Oh, this is good, very good lol.
Let's see if He shows up on this thread with a confession.........0
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