I am an internet know-it-all with an advanced degree...ask me anything about health, fitness or life

_John_
_John_ Posts: 8,646 Member
edited November 19 in Chit-Chat
If anyone actually asks something though, I am not responsible for how the sarcastic reply will make you feel...
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Replies

  • tdatsenko
    tdatsenko Posts: 155 Member
    What kind of advanced degree do you have and where is it from?
  • thankyou4thevenom
    thankyou4thevenom Posts: 1,581 Member
    How many twinkies am I short of a banana?
  • Rax1974
    Rax1974 Posts: 408 Member
    It takes me a long time to poop. Should I relax more or push harder?
  • _John_
    _John_ Posts: 8,646 Member
    Rax1974 wrote: »
    It takes me a long time to poop. Should I relax more or push harder?

    hemorrhoids waiting to happen...try not to go as often and just prepare for the brick
  • This content has been removed.
  • Ilikelamps
    Ilikelamps Posts: 482 Member
    28J9IKe.gif
  • Ilikelamps
    Ilikelamps Posts: 482 Member
    are you related to an MFP-er with the initials SS?
  • _John_
    _John_ Posts: 8,646 Member
    tdatsenko wrote: »
    What kind of advanced degree do you have and where is it from?

    Toxicology, from an SEC school
  • _John_
    _John_ Posts: 8,646 Member
    How many twinkies am I short of a banana?

    3
  • _John_
    _John_ Posts: 8,646 Member
    How do I get da gainz?

    lift stuff that's hard to lift and eat foodz
  • _John_
    _John_ Posts: 8,646 Member
    Ilikelamps wrote: »
    are you related to an MFP-er with the initials SS?

    no, I am not a ginger
  • _John_
    _John_ Posts: 8,646 Member
    Ilikelamps wrote: »
    28J9IKe.gif

    meet me in the 3rd stall at 3 am...
  • jaga13
    jaga13 Posts: 1,149 Member
    _John_ wrote: »
    If anyone actually asks something though, I am not responsible for how the sarcastic reply will make you feel...

    What does the fox say?
  • _John_
    _John_ Posts: 8,646 Member
    jaga13 wrote: »
    _John_ wrote: »
    If anyone actually asks something though, I am not responsible for how the sarcastic reply will make you feel...

    What does the fox say?

    "say" implies a language. Foxes typically communicate via squeals, barks, facial expressions, and with their tail positions and movements.
  • darrensurrey
    darrensurrey Posts: 3,942 Member
    What is?
  • Ilikelamps
    Ilikelamps Posts: 482 Member
    FOCUS, John, FOCUS
  • tincanonastring
    tincanonastring Posts: 3,944 Member
    What is the most ideal food to eat and why is it peanut butter?
  • _John_
    _John_ Posts: 8,646 Member
    What is?

    "what is" is limited by what our bodies are capable of perceiving.
  • _John_
    _John_ Posts: 8,646 Member
    What is the most ideal food to eat and why is it peanut butter?

    because the calorie to price to nutrition to shelf life ratio is just off the charts. The modern world of an overabundance of calories has clouded the perception of the value of high calorie foods with long shelf lives.
  • Alluminati
    Alluminati Posts: 6,208 Member
    There is a guy on my block that walks with a gimp. Who is he?
  • wolfsbayne
    wolfsbayne Posts: 3,116 Member
    Do you know the muffin man?
  • _John_
    _John_ Posts: 8,646 Member
    wolfsbayne wrote: »
    Do you know the muffin man?

    the muffin man?
  • _John_
    _John_ Posts: 8,646 Member
    OdesAngel wrote: »
    There is a guy on my block that walks with a gimp. Who is he?

    batman.
  • MarissaPalm
    MarissaPalm Posts: 123 Member
    How much wood can a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
  • wolfsbayne
    wolfsbayne Posts: 3,116 Member
    _John_ wrote: »
    wolfsbayne wrote: »
    Do you know the muffin man?

    the muffin man?

    Apparently not. You should, though.

  • _John_
    _John_ Posts: 8,646 Member
    How much wood can a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
    bout 2 chords.
  • _John_
    _John_ Posts: 8,646 Member
    wolfsbayne wrote: »
    _John_ wrote: »
    wolfsbayne wrote: »
    Do you know the muffin man?

    the muffin man?

    Apparently not. You should, though.

    nobody wants to play with me...
  • Unknown
    edited June 2015
    This content has been removed.
  • FitForL1fe
    FitForL1fe Posts: 1,872 Member
    _John_ wrote: »
    Rax1974 wrote: »
    It takes me a long time to poop. Should I relax more or push harder?

    hemorrhoids waiting to happen...try not to go as often and just prepare for the brick

    what is the best method of preparation for aforementioned brick
  • _John_
    _John_ Posts: 8,646 Member
    If God and Superman got into a fight, who would win?

    God created batman, so how do you expect superman to even have a chance?
This discussion has been closed.