The Cleanse

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Replies

  • SaffronSunrise
    SaffronSunrise Posts: 182 Member
    Whew!!!! Those Peeps will be hating life tomorrow. Been there, little ones...
  • mccindy72
    mccindy72 Posts: 7,001 Member
    8c468b5b07ef0250c2c94c71efe1115f89e1fbf9848e1ae775c951605c85a190.jpg
  • JoRocka
    JoRocka Posts: 17,525 Member
    lemurcat12 wrote: »
    ceoverturf wrote: »
    randomtai wrote: »
    yopeeps025 wrote: »
    ceoverturf wrote: »
    lorenswan wrote: »
    ndj1979 wrote: »
    lorenswan wrote: »
    Ok. Why is everyone so angry? And why is everyone saying "don't waste your money" and "it has absolutely nothing to do with weight loss" Because
    1. cleanses dont cost anything.
    2. you can loose weight. (or gain, if that is your goal)

    So no one here has had success? Okay.

    Guess what, a lot of people got fat from
    doing P90X. lol

    again, cleanses have absolutely nothing to do with gaining or losing weight, which is a function of calorie intake, CICO.

    Okay. Fine.

    Calorie intake is not the defining factor for weight gain or loss. One's
    metabolism, rather how a person processes & absorbs fats, carbs, sugars, everything, is the defining factor and this is greatly attributed to the state of your individual gastro-intestinal tract. In fact, scientist within GI Departments at some of our leading institutions, (Cleveland Clinic is one
    example) are now discovering diverse genetic disparities across the board with gluten intolerance, lactose intolerance, various mild allergies, inabilities to process B12 all causes by the inherited bacterial set of individual intestinal tracts. The rise of antibiotic use attributed to the rise in acid reflux in the past few decades and the need to use probiotics to no avail. In conclusion, a diet for one person may not work for another, due to their bacterial fauna in their gut. Cleanses can correct this. Blood type also plays into the biological evolutions of homo sapiens from our paleolithic diets of our hunter/gatherer ancestors (who consist of 90% of our human history), the day we began cooking our meat which resulted in making humans brains bigger, the advent of agricultural developments from wheat & grain to the green movement that resulted in a boom just before the dust bowl, to the genetically modified foods of today. Nutrition isnt like the science of psychology, with a bunch of crackpot behavioral scientist asking how you "feel." Nutrition is a growing and always evolving field of study. We used to give babies baby formula and the babies would die because we didnt know all the essential nutrients for their development. Its a work in progress.

    Traditionally, when you copy & paste something, it's considered appropriate to give the original author credit.

    And pretty much all of the above is horse hockey.

    This gets flagged. MFP forums always amaze me.

    Because it made the OP feel funny.

    Or she's offended by the word hockey. My apologies to Canadians everywhere.

    Miss Canada is very angry with you.

    ddj23jm87sr8.jpg

    I can't stop looking at this picture.
  • MKEgal
    MKEgal Posts: 3,250 Member
    Kimegatron wrote:
    Whenever I think of "cleanse," I just picture people drinking this crap and getting explosive in the bathroom.
    Here's what the OP needs for her "cleanse":
    sugar free gummy bears.
  • lemurcat12
    lemurcat12 Posts: 30,886 Member
    edited July 2015
    60311928.jpg

    I think my cat might need a cleanse. Do you think the peep cleanse would be right for him?

    He's on a low carb, high protein (LCHP) diet, er, WOE.

    He does like poultry.
  • PaulaWallaDingDong
    PaulaWallaDingDong Posts: 4,641 Member
    edited July 2015
    WBB55 wrote: »
    lorenswan wrote: »
    In fact, scientist within GI Departments at some of our leading institutions, (Cleveland Clinic is one
    example) are now discovering diverse genetic disparities across the board with gluten intolerance, lactose intolerance, various mild allergies, inabilities to process B12 all causes by the inherited bacterial set of individual intestinal tracts. The rise of antibiotic use attributed to the rise in acid reflux in the past few decades and the need to use probiotics to no avail. In conclusion, a diet for one person may not work for another, due to their bacterial fauna in their gut. Cleanses can correct this.

    No they don't. There are numerous studies that describe how difficult it is to change your gut microflora. Some people do change it but they basically have to clear it out and get a fecal transplant to add new bacteria back in.

    I pray to the powers that be every day that I never have to get something called a "fecal transplant."

    Can I somehow make money being a fecal donor? I mean, I'm aware they kinda lab it up a bit before the implant, but I can donate at least once a day, right?

    Apparently, you can make a *kitten*-ton of money. Get started on your journey to become a professional poop donor
  • PaulaWallaDingDong
    PaulaWallaDingDong Posts: 4,641 Member
    edited July 2015
    (double)

  • SLLRunner
    SLLRunner Posts: 12,942 Member
    lorenswan wrote: »
    Cleanses can help you loose weight,
    gain weight, stop caffeine addictions, fight intestinal bacterial overgrowth, identify allergies (add foods back in one at a time). Depends on the cleanse. But I didnt know people spent actual money on "buying a detox." Never heard of that.

    No they don't.
  • 6502programmer
    6502programmer Posts: 515 Member
    edited July 2015
    WBB55 wrote: »
    lorenswan wrote: »
    In fact, scientist within GI Departments at some of our leading institutions, (Cleveland Clinic is one
    example) are now discovering diverse genetic disparities across the board with gluten intolerance, lactose intolerance, various mild allergies, inabilities to process B12 all causes by the inherited bacterial set of individual intestinal tracts. The rise of antibiotic use attributed to the rise in acid reflux in the past few decades and the need to use probiotics to no avail. In conclusion, a diet for one person may not work for another, due to their bacterial fauna in their gut. Cleanses can correct this.

    No they don't. There are numerous studies that describe how difficult it is to change your gut microflora. Some people do change it but they basically have to clear it out and get a fecal transplant to add new bacteria back in.

    I pray to the powers that be every day that I never have to get something called a "fecal transplant."

    Can I somehow make money being a fecal donor? I mean, I'm aware they kinda lab it up a bit before the implant, but I can donate at least once a day, right?

    Apparently, you can make a *kitten*-ton of money. Get started on your journey to become a professional poop donor

    You have to go through a lot of crap, according to that article. After laying out $5000 to get tested and signed up, you can make back your money at a rate of $250 per week, but you have to go to the poop collection office EVERY DAY. And the sample has to be used within six hours of *ahem* collection. If you have to go at 3a, you're not getting paid today. Keep in mind you're pooping in a tub. Is it worth $40 to poop in a tub and either cart it in to the office or (somehow, even worse) have to keep straight your mix-up-my-magic-weight-loss-cleanse-shake blender and your blend-up-my-poop-shake blender?

    Hats off to the folks that do it. I supplicate deities such that I never end up with c. diff. That stuff is no joke.
  • SarcasmIsMyLoveLanguage
    SarcasmIsMyLoveLanguage Posts: 2,668 Member
    Oh goodie. It's been a whole 2 days since there was a cleanse thread.
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  • SherryTeach
    SherryTeach Posts: 2,836 Member
    So every time I have been ill and didn't feel like eating except for a little soup, I have really been doing a cleanse? Wow.
  • kk_inprogress
    kk_inprogress Posts: 3,077 Member
    So every time I have been ill and didn't feel like eating except for a little soup, I have really been doing a cleanse? Wow.

    No, that only works for dogs.
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  • SherryTeach
    SherryTeach Posts: 2,836 Member
    Oh, well I'll make sure to let my dog know. I'm pretty sure she likes chicken broth. But she only weighs 11 pounds, so I'm not sure what a cleanse would do for her.
  • Ready2Rock206
    Ready2Rock206 Posts: 9,487 Member
    Oh, well I'll make sure to let my dog know. I'm pretty sure she likes chicken broth. But she only weighs 11 pounds, so I'm not sure what a cleanse would do for her.

    Well according to the OP a cleanse can be used for weight gain too. Your little doggie will probably turn into a Great Dane on her cleanse.
  • maryelgin1988
    maryelgin1988 Posts: 185 Member
    After reading through this...
    Seriously left me wondering if OP is still going to "cleanse".
  • Unknown
    edited July 2015
    This content has been removed.
  • queenliz99
    queenliz99 Posts: 15,317 Member
    Caitwn wrote: »
    And here I thought we were joking about detoxing our little canine and feline buddies.

    But noooooooo.

    Life Gold - Cat Detox
    Detoxify your cat from toxins, and harsh chemicals
    Support for the immune system
    Supports vital systems of detoxification
    Helps to reduce oxidative stress
    Scavenges free radicals
    Supports antioxidant function


    I weep for humanity.

    Though I could get a laugh out of thinking about anyone would actually survive trying to get the Cat Detox INTO the cat.

    LOL
  • stephanieluvspb
    stephanieluvspb Posts: 997 Member
    lorenswan wrote: »
    I did a cleanse. I felt better. I lost weight. I kept it off.

    I have a friend. She did a cleanse. She could finally gain weight and stop looking anorexic.

    My grandmother did a cleanse. Discovered certain foods that dont agree with her so she takes a vegetable
    enzyme now.

    My dog got sick. The vet suggested a cleanse. (chicken broth for a day). He felt a lot better.

    When was the last time I did a cleanse? I dunno five years ago. Why do you guys even care?! lol

    [Edited by MFP Mods]

    I'm sorry.......did you really put your dog on a cleanse?
  • PaulaWallaDingDong
    PaulaWallaDingDong Posts: 4,641 Member
    lorenswan wrote: »
    I did a cleanse. I felt better. I lost weight. I kept it off.

    I have a friend. She did a cleanse. She could finally gain weight and stop looking anorexic.

    My grandmother did a cleanse. Discovered certain foods that dont agree with her so she takes a vegetable
    enzyme now.

    My dog got sick. The vet suggested a cleanse. (chicken broth for a day). He felt a lot better.

    When was the last time I did a cleanse? I dunno five years ago. Why do you guys even care?! lol

    [Edited by MFP Mods]

    I'm sorry.......did you really put your dog on a cleanse?

    If we believe the story, the dog was sick and the vet put it on chicken broth for hydration, like giving a kid pedialyte.
  • kimmiebrito
    kimmiebrito Posts: 40 Member
    Benefits - none.
    How it works - takes your money - makes big promises it can't produce
    Gain the weight back - probably - if you even lose any at all

    Waste of time and money. Completely useless. Your body cleanses itself.
    I have watched a couple of documentaries about people who went on the cleanse for about a month. One guy had a disease that he had cured by a juice cleanse, and his doctor informed him that he was in perfect health. You shouldn't really tell someone it's bad for you if you know nothing about it lol
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,972 Member
    edited July 2015
    lorenswan wrote: »
    I'm thinking about doing a cleanse for a few days. What are the benefits? How does that work? And wouldnt I just gain the weight right back?
    Benefits: You get to see how wonderful food really is without it.
    How does it work?: It doesn't. You lose some water weight, but that's it.
    Gain weight back?: Absolutely because all you did was an extreme calorie deficit and deplete the body of glycogen.

    The marketing ploy from all these companies that offer this is temporary weight loss that for some reason gets people in a frenzy to spend more money on other products or programs provided by the previous seller of "cleanse" program. The whet your whistle than take your wallet.
    Just to mention NO DIET PROGRAM works without calorie deficit and all that means is just eating less.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

    9285851.png

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  • Ready2Rock206
    Ready2Rock206 Posts: 9,487 Member
    Benefits - none.
    How it works - takes your money - makes big promises it can't produce
    Gain the weight back - probably - if you even lose any at all

    Waste of time and money. Completely useless. Your body cleanses itself.
    I have watched a couple of documentaries about people who went on the cleanse for about a month. One guy had a disease that he had cured by a juice cleanse, and his doctor informed him that he was in perfect health. You shouldn't really tell someone it's bad for you if you know nothing about it lol

    You know most documentaries are just infomercials in disguise right? Juice isn't curing any diseases.
  • Sued0nim
    Sued0nim Posts: 17,456 Member
    edited July 2015
    Benefits - none.
    How it works - takes your money - makes big promises it can't produce
    Gain the weight back - probably - if you even lose any at all

    Waste of time and money. Completely useless. Your body cleanses itself.
    I have watched a couple of documentaries about people who went on the cleanse for about a month. One guy had a disease that he had cured by a juice cleanse, and his doctor informed him that he was in perfect health. You shouldn't really tell someone it's bad for you if you know nothing about it lol

    Wow

    That's really gullible. Next you'll be telling me Dr Oz is worth watching
  • stephanieluvspb
    stephanieluvspb Posts: 997 Member
    Benefits - none.
    How it works - takes your money - makes big promises it can't produce
    Gain the weight back - probably - if you even lose any at all

    Waste of time and money. Completely useless. Your body cleanses itself.
    I have watched a couple of documentaries about people who went on the cleanse for about a month. One guy had a disease that he had cured by a juice cleanse, and his doctor informed him that he was in perfect health. You shouldn't really tell someone it's bad for you if you know nothing about it lol

    I would really love the link to this documentary. Please
  • kimmiebrito
    kimmiebrito Posts: 40 Member
    edited July 2015
    Fat sick & nearly dead
    Food inc
    Supersize me
    Forks over knives
    The gerson miracle
    You guys need to stop being ignorant, food fuels our body.
    You put *kitten* into it you get *kitten* in return
    You overload your micronutrients -- it'll work wonders.
    That's why you hear of so many people ridding of their diabetes by changing the way they eat.
    And it's not a coincidence that some people who live under the same household, though not related, develop diabetes.
    Your diet is crucial to how your body functions.

  • kimmiebrito
    kimmiebrito Posts: 40 Member
    AND I personally know two people who cured their diabetes using herbalife & the nutribullet. They are both over 40 and never looked better. I know even more people without any diseases who have lost weight using these plans as well.
  • Therealobi1
    Therealobi1 Posts: 3,262 Member
    Fat sick & nearly dead
    Food inc
    Supersize me
    Forks over knives
    The gersom miracle
    You guys need to stop being ignorant, food is fuels our body.
    You put *kitten* into it you get *kitten* in return
    You overload your micronutrients -- it'll work wonders.
    That's why you hear of many people ridding of their diabetes by changing the way they eat.
    Your diet is crucial to how your body functions.
    I hear you but a cleanse is still not needed. Change of some habits is needed