WOMEN AGES 50 + FOR SEPTEMBER 2015
Options
Replies
-
Pip - best wishes on the ride, and I'm pretty sure the Airstream's name is Amy. Or Aimee, if you want to get fancy.
To all with the husbands from heck... it took me 27 years, nearly 28, to finally go. And I understand putting a date on the end of it for how long you'll put up with it, and I understand staying. But I am here to say--when I looked at him and thought, "I would rather die alone than live with you," it was time to go. I spent the next five months preparing the ground for me to leave. I did not touch him or reach out to him in that five months and he never even noticed, which was part of the reason I finally was able to detach. As long as you can look at that man and think, "I still love you, and I WANT to spend time with you, and the rest of my life with you," you should stay, and you should fight, because you're fighting for yourself and your future.
I told my brother the Christmas that I was 47 that I was going to give it until I was 50, and if my husband hadn't changed, I would leave. He asked me "Why? What do you think will change in 3 years that hasn't changed in the last 27?" It was the spur I needed. So if you're still there, maybe it's time to ask yourself "Why?" And if the answer isn't satisfactory, then maybe it's time to go. If the reasons you're staying are for YOU, then stay.
I will step down off my soapbox now. Leaving was the best thing I ever did. Scary, but amazing. And I found the love of my life at the end of that rainbow. We've been married six years now, together for seven in November, and I've never been happier. Not saying that's everybody's happy ending... maybe yours is loving yourself, finally. I'm doing that part, too, as well as being slap-happy.
About my relationship, anyway,
Because at work, the soap opera continued. Spent all day yesterday trying not to fire four people, and was successful, after MANY discussions with corporate human resources, over 400 miles away on the other side of Texas.
One of my servers decided to drink in the bar Wednesday night while she was off duty. After three double vodkas, she walked out without paying her tab. The bartenders pushed the lead server, who had the manager card, into voiding the ticket, instead of just paying the tab and sorting it out the next day, which is policy--the bartenders are responsible for paying walkouts, as it keeps them attentive to all the tables and denizens of the bar. It happens almost never. And Texas Alcohol and Beverage Commission demands that alcohol sales at a bar are paid that day, so they are sure to get their taxes. Basically, they risked their TABC certifications, our liquor license, and if TABC runs an audit, we may still be up for major fines. *sigh*
I had the walkout server's termination papers written out, but negotiations with HR ended up with me writing all four of them up. So four different meetings, same upshot: do it again and you will be terminated. Walkout on a tab is theft, and there is zero tolerance from the owners or from me. But because the bartenders buggered the situation right into the ground with that voided ticket, EVERYbody got in trouble, and because I didn't fire them, I couldn't fire her. The walkout server paid for the tab, which we put back in through the system, and will no longer be drinking at the bar. And unfortunately, she was in line for the next crew chief position, as was the lead server who used the manager card to void the ticket. Now they will both remain servers for the foreseeable future.
Here's the kicker--because it WAS an employee who walked out, I could have actually got their money back to them, and would have - even if I had to pull it out of the server's final paycheck. With a stranger walkout, I couldn't have done much, honestly.
Anyway, in order to regain my equilibrium, I am running today. Should have just gone ahead and run yesterday. Would have helped me stay on a more even keel.
These are my monkeys and this is my circus. For 35 more days. No more.
Thank the good Lord.
Lisa in weird, wacky West Texas0 -
COMMITMENT = SUCCESS
Just finished page 26 - yay! I can't remember who said after hearing about the problems with husbands she was glad she was single! I was going to say that the other day too. I've been divorced since 1980. Haven't even dated. After 2 marriages and a long term relationship I decided that I was making bad decisions about men and was going to take time to work on myself. So that's what I did. Went back to college to become a paralegal and transfer to 4 year college. Raised my kids. Did pretty much what I wanted for a few years after I finally got the last one out of the house. I'm not sure that I have it in me to compromise anymore which is what I think it takes to have any serious long term loving relationship.
Off to bed for me - another great day with helpful, showered grandson! I know it won't last forever but I am going to bask in the joy while it's here!
Gloria/WA (suppose to be 86 here today)
0 -
Well, I just won tickets to see Three Dog Night from one of the local Oldies Stations. Now I have to get a bunch of work done, because another co-worker asked me to win him tickets to Garth Brooks from the new Country Station, and that happens at 7:15am today. Fingers crossed that today is "Super Lucky Winner Day". I will read and post shortly.
Hugs for Everyone ! ! !0 -
Morning gals,
Well I am proud to say I did not eat my emotions last night. I did have my standard evening snack of a Fiber One 90 cals. Brownie and that is it. I almost finished my afghan which kept my hands busy.
Husband came up from his man cave downstairs and we did have words. I immediately went to bed but on the way up I reminded him that we don't do "carry over" which is to say in the morning all is put aside. This is a take away from one of our best therapists. One of the many reasons we opted for separate bedrooms was so in these situations we could decompress in our own ways over night. I had a good cry and was finished with it. Thankfully he followed through with this rule.
I want to let you all know how much this board means to me beyond the MFP aspect. Your support is so appreciated.
My husband has Aspergers. He was diagnosed late in life and with this diagnosis came a whoosh of relief to both of us as to what was "wrong" with our relationship. He is steadfast in his beliefs and thusly a lot of life is black and white. He comes off as being terribly selfish and self absorbed. Because of this I feel neglected a lot and that is what reared its ugly head. We love each other dearly (34 years) and therefore will remain partners for life navigating the "alone-together" highway of our lives.
I could write volumes but I live it so don't want to rehash here.
We are headed to Chicago for a short visit to our kids. Our daughter is struggling (ADD, Autism, OCD, SID) and she just needs to see us and know that her life is not as overwhelming as she may think. She desperately wants to leave Chicago and move closer to us so she can lean on our support from a closer place. So we will come up with some sort of plan for her. Will also get a glimpse of our very busy CPA son hopefully.
Have a great Friday my friends,
Cheri in Beautiful NE Ohio this morning0 -
Terri, Three Dog Night was the only rock band I ever saw in concert as a kid! What a hoot!
I, too, read about the difficult husbands and am filled with memories about my difficult former husband. Terri, I had to leave the hospital 27 hours after having a C-section against doctor's orders, because our babysitter reneged the day I had my baby and my former husband wouldn't take that day off from work! So I went home with my newborn to take care of my two year old after being sliced open! I stayed in the relationship for 15 years, trying everything I could to make it better, but when I got to the point I was not only thinking about suicide, but thinking about taking my three sons out with me so they would not be left with their abusive dad, I realized I had to get out. I escaped with my three sons, across the entire continent, with just a car and a tiny trailer. Slept on the floor on lounge chair pads in a tiny apartment the first year. And we were never happier. It was such a relief to not be subject to constant criticism. That was in '93 and after several failed dating attempts I realized I was a poor judge of men, and too willing to tolerate bad behavior, and so I stopped dating about ten years ago. Two of my three boys refuse to have anything to do with their dad. The youngest doesn't remember how bad it was, so he has a relationship with him, although he has acknowledged that his dad is an a**. Turns out he does OK as a grandfather, but my son never leaves his boys alone with him.
I meet with the lawyer today in preparation for court to terminate parental rights for my girls on the 18th. Then we file for adoption and it should go quickly.0 -
Miriam love the choir picture. I think it is wonderful your daughter wants to be in it.
Pip have a great ride. MNMargaret 0 -
Good morning everyone.
Hugs to all .... (((((hugs)))))
Read through the posts, husbands....ummm .... not enough space here for comments and don't really have the time to b****ch...about it and don't feel like it today either. One thing I will say.... I cannot stand the word "whatever" .... but I do have a lot of fun shopping through several stores looking for "whatever" so one of these days when I ask him what he wants he may actually say, instead of saying "whatever" . I have come home and said I couldn't find "whatever", so what I have bought will have to do!! lol...
My weekend starts today.... getting ready to make salsa... going to card making class this afternoon. DGS will come visit tomorrow, I hope I can keep him entertained and make salsa at the same time...
Off to have breakfast. I have had a headache for three days now - so obviously there has been some sugar in something I have been eating... better label reading required here.
Have a good day everyone
Lillian in West Central Saskatchewan0 -
Done my legal forms, though I was stumped on some of the questions and have already forwarded dome of the certificates they asked for. :ohwell: so I might get them back again. I still have to have the transfer deed signed in front of an independent witness, so I will go next door go our nice new neighbours this evening and ask them. Must put my face on! :laugh: Then I can stick it in the post.
Didn't need DH's help after all.
Next thing, once we have exchanged, is to get a house clearance company to take all the contents away. That will cost.
I bought it fully furnished in 2007 so it all needs to go. Nothing much worth saving. 
Just one last thought on marriages - you don't have to hate or even dislike your husband to know that your life together has run its course. You can still love them and support them in their future life, but not continue in that most precious of relationships - a marriage. They are not alternatives. We should never stop loving. :flowerforyou:
Heather UK
Fresh pea and mushroom risotto this evening. Better get podding! :laugh:0 -
Call me crazy but I love to see other people happy and succeeding .
Good Morning Ladies,
Joyce, what insight and understanding about what a preacher goes through. Thanks for sharing. It sounds like Charlie is making improvements so that’s a good thing. Just be sure to take care of yourself and remember we are with you. (((((Hugs)))))
Mindy, glad you are getting friendly with Ben. I may need to give him a shout out real soon and see if he can do something for me. tee hee hee Your doggie party sounds like a blast. Ya gotta love processed cheese for giving dogs their pills. Definitely don’t let the lack of losing weight slow you down. It seems that during the time I lose the least is when I shrink the most. Go figure? Just keep up the good work. We can do this!!!!
Katla, I like your name suggestions for Pip’s Airstream. I hope you enjoy your time with DD and family.
Tammy, welcome. You will find this a great place for support and information. I guess you did bomb out if you made homemade fettuccini alfredo. I love it but no longer consider it something I will eat because of the high calorie content. Good for you on finding the chair exercises. Come often and join right in.
Allison, I’ve been thinking of the day as well. It is hard to believe that it’s been 14 years. The sad thing is, I think the threat of terrorist is greater today than ever.
DrKatie, wishing you well for subbing today. I think that is one of the hardest jobs there is. I subbed a few times at the school where I knew most of the kids and they knew me. It wasn’t so bad, but I can’t even imagine going to a school where you don’t really know any of the students or staff. Definitely underpaid for the job, but like you said, it’s money you wouldn’t have had.
Heather, so glad you asked DH for help on your dreaded project. It will make it go easier just to have a little hand holding. I’m happy for you and others that found a good man after your first marriage. Sometimes it is just a matter of a good fit, I think. Similar likes, values and mutual respect really help make a marriage work when added to the love.
Penny, what a true statement about not being as smart when we got married as we are now. I’d like to think I did good due to my superior intellect, but the truth is I think it’s always a lot about luck. I’m just glad some of us were the lucky ones that got a keeper.
Lisa, thanks the that next installment in As West Texas Turns. You just never know what will come next? You really sound ready for this to be over. Are you comfortable leaving even if you don’t feel you have finished what you set out to do? I’m sure there are mixed emotions.
Gloria, glad you had another good day with DGS. Yes, enjoy it while it lasts. You are right about compromise in a marriage that works and about being able to enjoy being alone and on your own. Let’s face it, there is no “perfect” and any life can be as good as we make it.
Terri, you are so good at winning all the radio station things. I’d love to see Three Dog Night and Garth Brooks. You can win me some tickets if you also win me the airline tickets to get there. LOL
Cheri, Woo Hoo for you on not eating your emotions!!! I’m glad things were started fresh this morning. Sending good thoughts for DD and her situation. (((Hugs)))
Lillian, I hope you have a good weekend “whatever” you decide to do. Lol I find it difficult to shop for whatever if I am on a tight schedule. You take care.
to any Newbies that I missed. Come often and join in the chat. This thing works!! Please sign your post with what you want to be called. It makes it easier for us to respond to you. Also a location is great, be it specific or general. We are happy to have you join us.
I hope all of you have a healthy and happy day.
Words I live by:
Savor. I have to slow down and savor every bite.
and
Opportunity. Each day offers new opportunities for good health and happiness if we just look for them and choose them.
I Love you,
DJ
Myrtle Beach, SC
0 -
Oh, Mary, I intended to ask... I've been strength training for about 10 days now. (I hasten to add light weights and not every day - I'm well aware of the danger of injury if I overdo it.) I've felt just fine the same day as my workout, but the day after I'm simply ravenous! I can't seem to get enough food!
Is that anything you recognize? If so, do you have an explanation for it? And will it calm down eventually? I'm too weak-willed to have to fight hunger pangs.0 -
morning peeps -
packing what i'm gonna ride in on day one then on day 2... kirby made me spaghetti for tonight, he's getting a pizza from over there. i will still be posting here and there and on fb too when i can. think of me at 7am pst, that's when the time starts to ride on day one (PACIFIC STANDARD TIME).
LATER PEEPS. thanks for the name suggestions, so far amy sounds cute.... keep em coming.0 -
Pip - that looks purdy! X. Have a great time!
Heather UK0 -
Just a few short words this morning. It's official, I'm sick. Doctor has been called, only sinus, it not comfortable and not sleeping.
Joyce, indiana0 -
Happy Friday ! ! !
Cheri – Hugs for not eating your emotions. What crochet project(s) are you working on? Please post a picture of the finished product.
Becca – You go gurl ! I have taught my DH and DS to open doors for ALL people, but to walk faster and stand holding the door even longer for ladies. They both still need reminders, but are MUCH better than just a few years ago. It has been at least a year since I stood outside a closed door that they did not hold open for me. DH needed quite a bit of prompting at first, but almost losing me (us) was an eye opener for him, too. Because of his traumatic brain injury, we sometimes have to start back at the beginning to remind him. My tiara’s make it all tangible.
Pip – May the wind be at your back and the sunshine on your face. Have Fun ! ! !
DJ – I do stay home sometimes, especially for the local events. It depends on how important of an event it is (qualifier vs finals), how far away, how long we will be gone, etc. Sometimes DH works, so it is only me taking DS to events. Since DH doesn’t take me anywhere if it is not for a tournament, I deserve to “get away”, so I go along and try to find a massage or museum or fitness center or something. But since DS is my “final child”, I also don’t want to miss out on a new landmark. What if he throws his first 300 game, and I stayed home for no good reason? I would feel terrible. I usually stay home during baseball practices. A few years ago, when DH was in the midst of his mid-life crisis, I stayed attached to him by the hip, because I needed to re-validate his commitment to me. But, as that part of our lives gets farther into the past, I break away and take care of me a little more every month. Re-learning trust is harder than I expected, but I’m getting there, 1 day at a time. // I’m so happy that you found the right man the first time. The best thing about my DH is the same – he knows how to make me laugh. And he tolerates my cr@p plenty, too. I’m also glad yours talks too much, I envy that ! ! !
Mindy – Hugs for your plateau. Jump right back on the wagon, and let’s get going. Nice NSV !
Time for lunch. Hugs for Everyone ! ! !
Terri in Milwaukee (wearing a Bears shirt and scarf)0 -
Oh, Mary, I intended to ask... I've been strength training for about 10 days now. (I hasten to add light weights and not every day - I'm well aware of the danger of injury if I overdo it.) I've felt just fine the same day as my workout, but the day after I'm simply ravenous! I can't seem to get enough food!
Is that anything you recognize? If so, do you have an explanation for it? And will it calm down eventually? I'm too weak-willed to have to fight hunger pangs.
I have found this same thing happening with me. I try an eat more protein to compensate. Is this normal with lifting?
Cheri NE Ohio0 -
Happy Friday! I am to be off the weekend, but our night lady has her son in ICU so I may end up working tomorrow so the person scheduled can work the night shift. So should know later today.
Cheri--Hugs!
Sylvia--Glad DS is home. Hope all went well with the DGC and their supper with the other grandparents.
pip--Will be waiting to hear about your ride and your trip in the new airstream.
Tammy--Welcome. You have come to the right place for support and friendship. Come often this works.
katiebug--Hope today goes well at the school. I hope you use the money for something special for yourself.
Just found out I will be working the long shift 6-5:30 tomorrow and be trainning the new lady all day. Could be interesting, but do not have to work with the boss so that is a plus.
Terri--You are one determend person when it comes to winning tickets.
Joyce--Please take care of you. Last thing you need is to be sick. Worried about you and saying this in love.
Going to be short today, not sure when I will be able to check in tomorrow as will be trainning. Have a good day ladies and remember One day at a time.
Blessings, Vicki GRAND ISLAND-NE0 -
OConnell5483 wrote: »fanncy0626 wrote: »I was so excited to meet with Margaret and Gayle that time flew by! We were having such a good time!
Margaret, Mary and Gayle
Have a great day everyone!
Mary from Minnesota
I am so glad to see this picture! I am from Minneapolis originally and my family lives there. My two favorite aunts live in NE Minneapolis...their names are "Gayle" and "Mary Margaret". Just thought it was kind of ironic!
Too funny!!! Love ne it's the new in place for Minneapolis!! When you come to visit let us know. Gayle Minneapolis
I certainly will!
Tracie in WI0 -
DJ from Myrtle Beach said: "Oconnell, welcome. Please tell us about yourself to help us get to know you. If you just start with the last page you will figure out who we all are. This is a great place for support and information. Please sign each post with the name you want to be called and a location is good too, be it general or specific."
Thank you for the welcome, DJ! Just a note about who I am, since you asked.
My name is Tracie. I'm 55 years old. I live in Green Bay, Wisconsin. I'm married, a second marriage for both him and I. All together, we have 6 kids (3 each) from our previous marriages. Between all 6 kids, we have 17 grands and 1 great-grand! Yes, holidays are quite hectic but fun, fun, fun!
In 2011, I was diagnosed with Stage III breast cancer. I had a bilateral mastectomy, 5 months of chemotherapy and 6 weeks of daily radiation. This is actually the first year that I have not had to be hospitalized or have a surgery related to that diagnosis and it's been so wonderful! My journey on here is because I want to take back my life. I haven't felt good since I went through treatment. I gained 40 lbs from chemotherapy and all the steroids they give you. My brain is in a state of fog all the time (chemo brain they call it, and yes, it is a real thing). I just have no energy and need my weekends to just rest so I feel good enough to make it through work the next week. So, to make a long story short, I am trying to take back my life. I want to feel good again. I want to be able to remember things again and have a clearer brain. I want to get rid of the hot flashes and weight gain that being thrown into full menopause from chemo has so nicely given me. I want to do everything in my power to start exercising and eating clean healthy food and know that I have done everything I can to try to keep the cancer from returning.
I enjoy fishing, being by water, being outdoors in the woods or outside anywhere really...I am a huge Green Bay Packers fan. I am trying to teach myself to quilt which is quite the adventure if you could see how bad of a seamstress I am!! LOL! (it's pretty bad). I'm klutzy so get teased a lot for that. I love to read. I love to do nice things for others and love to feel like I've helped someone.
I guess I told you more than a paragraph's worth! I hope I didn't bore you all. More than you needed to know, right?!
I'm really looking forward to getting to know you all better. I can already tell what a great group of ladies this is.
Have a great weekend.
Tracie in WI0
Categories
- All Categories
- 1.4M Health, Wellness and Goals
- 392.1K Introduce Yourself
- 43.6K Getting Started
- 259.9K Health and Weight Loss
- 175.7K Food and Nutrition
- 47.4K Recipes
- 232.4K Fitness and Exercise
- 403 Sleep, Mindfulness and Overall Wellness
- 6.4K Goal: Maintaining Weight
- 8.5K Goal: Gaining Weight and Body Building
- 152.8K Motivation and Support
- 7.9K Challenges
- 1.3K Debate Club
- 96.3K Chit-Chat
- 2.5K Fun and Games
- 3.4K MyFitnessPal Information
- 23 News and Announcements
- 983 Feature Suggestions and Ideas
- 2.4K MyFitnessPal Tech Support Questions