DEAR FAT PEOPLE
Replies
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^^^^ Figure out the quote feature, por favor. I didn't write that comment that you responded to.
Also, I find what you wrote absolutely silly.
Saying Fat Shaming isn't cool doesn't mean you take away anyone's personal responsibility. It's a complex issue that isn't made better by some youtube idiot making a video for those sole purpose of getting clicks and making fun of a population of people. I'd rather be obese then be like her....however I get the choice to be a healthy weight and also not a horrific human being. It's pretty awesome.
I'm so sorry. I'm from a 3rd world country and English is not my first language. I also do NOT speak, what I presume to be Spanish. In fact I'm offended that you just assumed I was Spanish speaking. Was it because you assumed I was too dumb to quote properly? My apologies for not being an all knowing American.
Exactly, you choose to be healthy or not. It is a choice.
We don't agree, but you are looking for a fight and I am not even remotely interested. Not worth it.
I used por favor because I can speak Spanish. If that offends you....not my issue. I honestly don't give a flip where you are from and what have you. Knowing how to quote has nothing to do with being American. For those from many many countries who use this forum on a daily basis quite effectively....they might find that offensive. It sure seems pretty jerky.
This entire argument came about by someone thin SHAMING. Yes, some of the reaction was a bit extreme. But I can totally get how someone would be annoyed if they've worked really hard to lose weight, made a very obvious hyperbolic joke and then got accused of having thin privilege.0 -
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From the article "the main character learns that she doesn't have to change anything about herself to be awesome because she already is." - the video is very rude indeed, but I believe that this movie have wrong message - unhealthy is not awesome.0
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I've been fat shamed IRL all my flippin life. I had a diabetic mother and was born 11 lbs 12 oz, I was sort of destined to be big, and no not saying that caused me to be fat later on in life. I couldn't have sweets at home so I made up for it every other place I went. (Not saying sugar causes obesity, btw, it was just my gateway to being fat.) Truth is, if no one in my family or at my school could possibly shame me into losing weight, and boy did they try, what hope does a stupid bimbo on the internet have? This isn't the first time, won't be the last time, some person who has NEVER struggled with their weight says mean things about a condition they can't really understand other than it's visually unappealing to them.
What I don't get are the people that come to a DIET website to troll fat people. That's a whole level of sadness and pathetic I can't even begin to comprehend.
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chaoticdreams wrote: »
I've been fat shamed IRL all my flippin life. I had a diabetic mother and was born 11 lbs 12 oz, I was sort of destined to be big, and no not saying that caused me to be fat later on in life. I couldn't have sweets at home so I made up for it every other place I went. (Not saying sugar causes obesity, btw, it was just my gateway to being fat.) Truth is, if no one in my family or at my school could possibly shame me into losing weight, and boy did they try, what hope does a stupid bimbo on the internet have? This isn't the first time, won't be the last time, some person who has NEVER struggled with their weight says mean things about a condition they can't really understand other than it's visually unappealing to them.
What I don't get are the people that come to a DIET website to troll fat people. That's a whole level of sadness and pathetic I can't even begin to comprehend.
The MFP forums, in my experience, are full of what I consider "tough love". When someone makes a post "I'm not losing, CICO doesn't work, etc etc", they are often served a harsh dose of reality that they simply aren't doing it right. Often times, excuses are just that - excuses. And I've also seen plenty of posts where those that have had success have come back to thank those folks who gave them that reality check. The people on this forum have personal experience and a lot of knowledge, and they are trying to help those folks who clearly don't understand the process or are refusing to make the changes that are required to be successful. Some might call them "mean", but they aren't shaming, they are just being honest.0 -
Bronan_The_Brobarian wrote: »Ah dang. There's a McDonald's over there. I know I'm 350 pounds, but they make some awesome burgers. yes my heart aches, yes I have high blood pressure, yes my ankles are swollen, yes I have a hard time getting out of bed in the morning, but who cares!! I can get two Whoppers for the price of one salad! So it's McDonalds fault for making burgers cheap and salads expensive! That's why I'm fat. Say what?? I can upgrade to a large for only a fifty cents!! Hell yeah!!
This isn't the right place to flaunt your thin privilege
Thin privilege? Yeah that is what it is. I got fat because I was underpriviledged and now I'm much less fat because my body magically decided to be more privileged. It has NOTHING to do with the fact that I work out intensly 5 days a week, or the fact that I religiously watch what I eat, weigh what I eat and eat out at places where they publish the nutritional value of their food so I can plan ahead.
No I am just more priviledged.
I fully support the "dear fat people" video. Get of your lazy *kitten*, and start making better food choices. Maybe if I had seen that clip 10 years ago I wouldnt have had to spend the last 2 years losing all the crap I DECIDED to put into my body.
ALSO, this *kitten* about "people dont know". You live in the USA FFS. You have the fastest internet in the frikkin world. You spend hours at a time on facebook, netflix, youtube, pinterest and lord know what else but you cant google "nutritional health" and "MacDonalds nutritional info"? Really? I live in 3rd world country where a 10MB internet connection is superfast, where 60% of the population doesnt even have access to the internet but the general populations knows that fast food makes you fat.
You really didnt know? Really?
I really dont care if you enjoy being fat.Your health is your issue but FFS stop making me listen to your bitching and moaning about it.
That's ironic...given how much you just *kitten* and moaned.
Not really. I *kitten* and moaned about some fat people playing victims and subjecting other people to their bitching and monaing about being fat. I did not *kitten* and moan about being fat.
Its really not just about not wanting to hear people complain. Obesity and the ailments that come with it are draining the ins industries and medical of billions of dollars....and we are all paying for that so I think we all get an opinion.
just saying.0 -
The MFP forums, in my experience, are full of what I consider "tough love". When someone makes a post "I'm not losing, CICO doesn't work, etc etc", they are often served a harsh dose of reality that they simply aren't doing it right. Often times, excuses are just that - excuses. And I've also seen plenty of posts where those that have had success have come back to thank those folks who gave them that reality check. The people on this forum have personal experience and a lot of knowledge, and they are trying to help those folks who clearly don't understand the process or are refusing to make the changes that are required to be successful. Some might call them "mean", but they aren't shaming, they are just being honest.
Those are not the people I refer too.
Tough love is sometimes very necessary and I do agree 90% of the time people are not losing because they aren't being honest in their logging. The ones I refer to are those that very obviously have an issue with obesity and make comments toward it. There are several in this thread alone. 0 -
chaoticdreams wrote: »
I've been fat shamed IRL all my flippin life. I had a diabetic mother and was born 11 lbs 12 oz, I was sort of destined to be big, and no not saying that caused me to be fat later on in life. I couldn't have sweets at home so I made up for it every other place I went. (Not saying sugar causes obesity, btw, it was just my gateway to being fat.) Truth is, if no one in my family or at my school could possibly shame me into losing weight, and boy did they try, what hope does a stupid bimbo on the internet have? This isn't the first time, won't be the last time, some person who has NEVER struggled with their weight says mean things about a condition they can't really understand other than it's visually unappealing to them.
What I don't get are the people that come to a DIET website to troll fat people. That's a whole level of sadness and pathetic I can't even begin to comprehend.
Half of your post is you trying to say why being overweight isn't your fault. Being born as a large baby doesn't make you 'destined' to be an overweight person. Neither does being denied sweets in your home. Making your own choices is entirely up to you, and none of that has anything to do with people shaming you for your weight. Those are two entirely different issues.0 -
Half of your post is you trying to say why being overweight isn't your fault. Being born as a large baby doesn't make you 'destined' to be an overweight person. Neither does being denied sweets in your home. Making your own choices is entirely up to you, and none of that has anything to do with people shaming you for your weight. Those are two entirely different issues.
I said no such thing. Now you are reaching. I was a fat baby from a medical condition. I got fat in childhood because not only did I eat a full plate at dinner, I would then over consume a box of oreos or cake or whatever was around me because I have a sweet tooth. OVEREATING made me fat. Did you not read the remarks in parenthesis?
I simply said how I got fat and then said people bullying me for being fat did not miraculously make me suddenly become thin.
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If "The Video" inspires some people to begin taking responsibility for what they eat, then good.
Remember she is a comedian... with a message...she puts an edge on it... yes, she is an attention *kitten*!
Don't take offense at what she says. Her motives are many, but one of her goals is also yours. A healthier you.
Remember, you would not be reading this if you had not decided to loose some weight.
Stay motivated!0 -
chaoticdreams wrote: »
I've been fat shamed IRL all my flippin life. I had a diabetic mother and was born 11 lbs 12 oz, I was sort of destined to be big, and no not saying that caused me to be fat later on in life. I couldn't have sweets at home so I made up for it every other place I went. (Not saying sugar causes obesity, btw, it was just my gateway to being fat.) Truth is, if no one in my family or at my school could possibly shame me into losing weight, and boy did they try, what hope does a stupid bimbo on the internet have? This isn't the first time, won't be the last time, some person who has NEVER struggled with their weight says mean things about a condition they can't really understand other than it's visually unappealing to them.
What I don't get are the people that come to a DIET website to troll fat people. That's a whole level of sadness and pathetic I can't even begin to comprehend.
I dont think anybody is here to troll fat people. I am obesity class 2 (according to that rediculous BMI thing) so I am a fat person. I'm not here to troll anybody. This being said, what irretates the living daylights out of me is people not taking responsibility for themselves. I suppose the saying "There is no greater prude than a reformed prostitute" holds true in my case. I struggled with being overweight my whole life. I was teased, ridiculed and even bullied for being "the fat kid". I too blamed society, not for being fat but for being mean to me. I saw THEM as the problem, not myself. It took a serious wake-up call for me to take responsibility for my life and that is why I am here, not to fat shame.
However, as I sit here I have had a terrible day and I want nothing more than to go out and stuff my face but I dont, because I made a choice two years ago and I am committed to it. THAT is what I am getting at. Stop blaming everyone but yourself for your situation. Realise you did this to yourself, decide to change it and commit to that change. Alternatively carry on as you are. Either way, your choices have consequesnces beyond your control and shouting "meanie" at everyone that has a problem with you is not going to change that.
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chaoticdreams wrote: »
The MFP forums, in my experience, are full of what I consider "tough love". When someone makes a post "I'm not losing, CICO doesn't work, etc etc", they are often served a harsh dose of reality that they simply aren't doing it right. Often times, excuses are just that - excuses. And I've also seen plenty of posts where those that have had success have come back to thank those folks who gave them that reality check. The people on this forum have personal experience and a lot of knowledge, and they are trying to help those folks who clearly don't understand the process or are refusing to make the changes that are required to be successful. Some might call them "mean", but they aren't shaming, they are just being honest.
Those are not the people I refer too. Tough love is sometimes very necessary and I do agree 90% of the time people are not losing because they aren't being honest in their logging. The ones I refer to are those that very obviously have an issue with obesity and make comments toward it. There are several in this thread alone.
I personally view those folks as they have a problem with obese people who make excuses. There are always going to be medical cases, etc. but the majority of people are overweight by poor choices. How many of us are here because we have realized and accepted that??! Almost all of us?!0 -
chaoticdreams wrote: »
The MFP forums, in my experience, are full of what I consider "tough love". When someone makes a post "I'm not losing, CICO doesn't work, etc etc", they are often served a harsh dose of reality that they simply aren't doing it right. Often times, excuses are just that - excuses. And I've also seen plenty of posts where those that have had success have come back to thank those folks who gave them that reality check. The people on this forum have personal experience and a lot of knowledge, and they are trying to help those folks who clearly don't understand the process or are refusing to make the changes that are required to be successful. Some might call them "mean", but they aren't shaming, they are just being honest.
Those are not the people I refer too. Tough love is sometimes very necessary and I do agree 90% of the time people are not losing because they aren't being honest in their logging. The ones I refer to are those that very obviously have an issue with obesity and make comments toward it. There are several in this thread alone.
I personally view those folks as they have a problem with obese people who make excuses. There are always going to be medical cases, etc. but the majority of people are overweight by poor choices. How many of us are here because we have realized and accepted that??! Almost all of us?!
+1 x infinity0 -
I personally view those folks as they have a problem with obese people who make excuses. There are always going to be medical cases, etc. but the majority of people are overweight by poor choices. How many of us are here because we have realized and accepted that??! Almost all of us?!
And how do you know those people aren't just assuming the obese person is making excuses? We all make assumptions, but those assumptions do not prove we are correct, just sometimes a**es. (not calling you an a**, just pointing out the old assume = a** out of you and me thing.)
Obesity is an issue and yes, mostly caused by bad eating decisions. Doesn't give anyone the right to make someone feel bad for being fat though.0 -
However, as I sit here I have had a terrible day and I want nothing more than to go out and stuff my face but I dont, because I made a choice two years ago and I am committed to it. THAT is what I am getting at. Stop blaming everyone but yourself for your situation. Realise you did this to yourself, decide to change it and commit to that change. Alternatively carry on as you are. Either way, your choices have consequesnces beyond your control and shouting "meanie" at everyone that has a problem with you is not going to change that.
I don't see where she was "blaming everyone but herself" for her situation. I think she specifically said several times that she recognized that overeating was the underlying cause of her being overweight. That sounds an awful lot like taking personal responsibility to me.
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melodicraven wrote: »I don't see where she was "blaming everyone but herself" for her situation. I think she specifically said several times that she recognized that overeating was the underlying cause of her being overweight. That sounds an awful lot like taking personal responsibility to me.
Thank you. I am the only reason I am fat. I never once said different.0 -
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PetiaIvailova wrote: »From the article "the main character learns that she doesn't have to change anything about herself to be awesome because she already is." - the video is very rude indeed, but I believe that this movie have wrong message - unhealthy is not awesome.
There's definitely a fine line there, isn't there? We shouldn't be making people feel bad about themselves because that's super counter productive, but at the same time, we also shouldn't be perpetuating the belief that being obese and unhealthy is ok. In the US, we have disassociated being overweight with being unhealthy. We're very good at sticking our heads in the sand in this country. A lot of people think being obese is just a cosmetic issue and that as long as you're ok with it, it's fine. Well, it IS fine to an extent, but you also have to be ok with being in severe danger of diabetes, heart disease, high cholesterol, etc.0 -
I think this discussion is missing some context. Has anyone see the #haes #pizzasisters4lyfe #plussize #honormycurves #fatbabe that's going around???????? As much as everyone wants to get upset at this woman for making this video, I think we should be equally disgusted with people promoting obesity. People want to say those hashtags promote body positivity and I call BS. Nicole Albour may be a jerk, but I think she's responding to the people that are promoting obesity as a healthy lifestyle. One of the things that you can take from this video as truth is that "YOU ONLY GET ONE BODY". Treat it with respect and take care of it. No matter what size you are!0
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chaoticdreams wrote: »
The MFP forums, in my experience, are full of what I consider "tough love". When someone makes a post "I'm not losing, CICO doesn't work, etc etc", they are often served a harsh dose of reality that they simply aren't doing it right. Often times, excuses are just that - excuses. And I've also seen plenty of posts where those that have had success have come back to thank those folks who gave them that reality check. The people on this forum have personal experience and a lot of knowledge, and they are trying to help those folks who clearly don't understand the process or are refusing to make the changes that are required to be successful. Some might call them "mean", but they aren't shaming, they are just being honest.
Those are not the people I refer too. Tough love is sometimes very necessary and I do agree 90% of the time people are not losing because they aren't being honest in their logging. The ones I refer to are those that very obviously have an issue with obesity and make comments toward it. There are several in this thread alone.
Tough love and fat shaming are too completely different things, I agree. I live firmly in the tough love camp. I do see fat shaming is absolutely prevalent on these forums and I'd even go as far as accepted by those who moderate this forum.
I understand why people may do it, even though I still find it reprehensible. People here are often in the midst of making changes. They tend to have mentality of....I can make the changes, you can too. That may be true, but it may not.
I am nobody special. I was obese, then overweight and now I am a healthy body weight. True. If I can do it, anyone can. However fat shaming someone or mocking their excuses IMO helps no one. What I also recognize is that while I can do it and did it...and I am nobody special....I also didn't do it for a long time. For a long time it did seem like something I couldn't do. There are reasons. They are mine. They are also probably excuses, doesn't make them invalid. So, I recognize that this is a journey and everyone is at a different point with a different story.
I also know fat shaming was never my motivation. It never helped. If anything it made it worse. So, when I see fat shaming and it being referenced as trying to help....I call BS and call it fast.
Very well put. /agree 0 -
chaoticdreams wrote: »I had a diabetic mother and was born 11 lbs 12 oz, I was sort of destined to be big, and no not saying that caused me to be fat later on in life.
I'm thinking that is probably not how it works. My son was 11 lbs when he was born. Part of the reason I only had 1 Natural childbirth and all.
But he is a quite healthy 6'3'' normal weight/musculature law enforcement officer. He has never been overweight. His weight at birth did not create some 'destiny' where he would be overweight.
It would be rather interesting for someone to do a study on birth weight in correlation to lifetime weight/obesity. There might be one but I'm too lazy to look for it.
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the fat cells we have ARE passed on to our children.0
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chaoticdreams wrote: »
The MFP forums, in my experience, are full of what I consider "tough love". When someone makes a post "I'm not losing, CICO doesn't work, etc etc", they are often served a harsh dose of reality that they simply aren't doing it right. Often times, excuses are just that - excuses. And I've also seen plenty of posts where those that have had success have come back to thank those folks who gave them that reality check. The people on this forum have personal experience and a lot of knowledge, and they are trying to help those folks who clearly don't understand the process or are refusing to make the changes that are required to be successful. Some might call them "mean", but they aren't shaming, they are just being honest.
Those are not the people I refer too. Tough love is sometimes very necessary and I do agree 90% of the time people are not losing because they aren't being honest in their logging. The ones I refer to are those that very obviously have an issue with obesity and make comments toward it. There are several in this thread alone.
I think this is pretty weird too. Presumably people here either are trying to lose weight or have already, and don't think it's great to just be fat, so I don't know why some seem to think it's important to convince us that being fat is terrible. (And maybe it's a matter of different subcultures, but I never felt like society was telling me that it was great to be fat when I was fat or that I needed to be woken up to why it was bad to be fat. I would have lied and said I didn't mind being fat, but of course I did, and knew I should change it.)0 -
chaoticdreams wrote: »
The MFP forums, in my experience, are full of what I consider "tough love". When someone makes a post "I'm not losing, CICO doesn't work, etc etc", they are often served a harsh dose of reality that they simply aren't doing it right. Often times, excuses are just that - excuses. And I've also seen plenty of posts where those that have had success have come back to thank those folks who gave them that reality check. The people on this forum have personal experience and a lot of knowledge, and they are trying to help those folks who clearly don't understand the process or are refusing to make the changes that are required to be successful. Some might call them "mean", but they aren't shaming, they are just being honest.
Those are not the people I refer too. Tough love is sometimes very necessary and I do agree 90% of the time people are not losing because they aren't being honest in their logging. The ones I refer to are those that very obviously have an issue with obesity and make comments toward it. There are several in this thread alone.
Tough love and fat shaming are too completely different things, I agree. I live firmly in the tough love camp. I do see fat shaming is absolutely prevalent on these forums and I'd even go as far as accepted by those who moderate this forum.
I understand why people may do it, even though I still find it reprehensible. People here are often in the midst of making changes. They tend to have mentality of....I can make the changes, you can too. That may be true, but it may not.
I am nobody special. I was obese, then overweight and now I am a healthy body weight. True. If I can do it, anyone can. However fat shaming someone or mocking their excuses IMO helps no one. What I also recognize is that while I can do it and did it...and I am nobody special....I also didn't do it for a long time. For a long time it did seem like something I couldn't do. There are reasons. They are mine. They are also probably excuses, doesn't make them invalid. So, I recognize that this is a journey and everyone is at a different point with a different story.
I also know fat shaming was never my motivation. It never helped. If anything it made it worse. So, when I see fat shaming and it being referenced as trying to help....I call BS and call it fast.
All of this.0 -
This girl is proud to be large and in charge... Like that one poster above wrote "fat people are becoming a force to be reckoned with"
I'm sure she'll have her own reality tv show:
https://www.facebook.com/fitness.robert/videos/991780324190276/?fref=nf
Thanks for the video link. I threw up in my mouth a little bit. So gross. I couldn't listen to the video cause I am at work but just the sight of her dipping her burger in what I can only guess is a shake make me lose my appetite.-4 -
+1chaoticdreams wrote: »
The MFP forums, in my experience, are full of what I consider "tough love". When someone makes a post "I'm not losing, CICO doesn't work, etc etc", they are often served a harsh dose of reality that they simply aren't doing it right. Often times, excuses are just that - excuses. And I've also seen plenty of posts where those that have had success have come back to thank those folks who gave them that reality check. The people on this forum have personal experience and a lot of knowledge, and they are trying to help those folks who clearly don't understand the process or are refusing to make the changes that are required to be successful. Some might call them "mean", but they aren't shaming, they are just being honest.
Those are not the people I refer too. Tough love is sometimes very necessary and I do agree 90% of the time people are not losing because they aren't being honest in their logging. The ones I refer to are those that very obviously have an issue with obesity and make comments toward it. There are several in this thread alone.
Tough love and fat shaming are too completely different things, I agree. I live firmly in the tough love camp. I do see fat shaming is absolutely prevalent on these forums and I'd even go as far as accepted by those who moderate this forum.
I understand why people may do it, even though I still find it reprehensible. People here are often in the midst of making changes. They tend to have mentality of....I can make the changes, you can too. That may be true, but it may not.
I am nobody special. I was obese, then overweight and now I am a healthy body weight. True. If I can do it, anyone can. However fat shaming someone or mocking their excuses IMO helps no one. What I also recognize is that while I can do it and did it...and I am nobody special....I also didn't do it for a long time. For a long time it did seem like something I couldn't do. There are reasons. They are mine. They are also probably excuses, doesn't make them invalid. So, I recognize that this is a journey and everyone is at a different point with a different story.
I also know fat shaming was never my motivation. It never helped. If anything it made it worse. So, when I see fat shaming and it being referenced as trying to help....I call BS and call it fast.
/thread
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https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Proximate_and_ultimate_causation
A proximate cause is an event which is closest to, or immediately responsible for causing, some observed result. This exists in contrast to a higher-level ultimate cause (or distal cause) which is usually thought of as the "real" reason something occurred.
Example: Why did the ship sink?
Proximate cause: Because it was holed beneath the waterline, water entered the hull and the ship became denser than the water which supported it, so it could not stay afloat.
Ultimate cause: Because the ship hit a rock which tore open the hole in the ship's hull.
In most situations, an ultimate cause may itself be a proximate cause for a further ultimate cause. Hence we can continue the above example as follows:
Example: Why did the ship hit the rock?
Proximate cause: Because the ship failed to change course to avoid it.
Ultimate cause: Because the ship was under autopilot and the autopilot's data were inaccurate.
Separating proximate from ultimate causation frequently leads to better understandings of the events and systems concerned.0 -
chaoticdreams wrote: »I had a diabetic mother and was born 11 lbs 12 oz, I was sort of destined to be big, and no not saying that caused me to be fat later on in life.
I'm thinking that is probably not how it works. My son was 11 lbs when he was born. Part of the reason I only had 1 Natural childbirth and all.
But he is a quite healthy 6'3'' normal weight/musculature law enforcement officer. He has never been overweight. His weight at birth did not create some 'destiny' where he would be overweight.
It would be rather interesting for someone to do a study on birth weight in correlation to lifetime weight/obesity. There might be one but I'm too lazy to look for it.
This was partly my earlier point, as well. My son was a month premature, and he was 10 pounds. He's a normal 6 feet and 200 pounds. His father is overweight, but he isn't, and his brother isn't, either. So not falling into the 'predisposed to be overweight' fallacy.0 -
Why was my comment flagged for abuse. I said I was grossed out by someone dipping a burger in a shake. To me just drink the shake with your burger don't dip it in the shake. I didn't say anything about her weight just her choice to dip her burger.0
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Good.Domicinator wrote: »Well, there was definitely backlash for this video and she definitely lost a job because of it:
https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=1&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=0CB8QqQIwAGoVChMI8rzgz_vuxwIVAfSACh1GOwci&url=http://www.eonline.com/news/694742/youtube-star-nicole-arbour-fired-from-movie-role-for-cruel-fat-shaming-video&usg=AFQjCNFtiVTiymO2cdgNJ56lL1YnoK0xfg&bvm=bv.102022582,d.cWw
I hope the whole thing wasn't done for publicity, though. That might even be worse than a crazy woman using fat-shaming to garner attention.
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