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How is the MFPer above going to die?

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Replies

  • NewlifeinNW
    NewlifeinNW Posts: 3,866 Member
    While visiting the beautiful swamps in Mississippi, she noticed some large furry animals running around. She grew excited and yelled "Wombats" and took off. I tried telling her those were the giant Nutria Rats but she was too far gone. They devoured her in a matter of seconds.
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  • NewlifeinNW
    NewlifeinNW Posts: 3,866 Member
    She ran away from home to join the circus. I tried telling her it was a pretty bad idea to combine riding a unicycle, walking a tight rope, and being shot out of a canon into one act.
  • slimgirljo15
    slimgirljo15 Posts: 269,456 Member
    A jealous husband shot him
  • NewlifeinNW
    NewlifeinNW Posts: 3,866 Member
    After her husband shot me, she was next
  • slimgirljo15
    slimgirljo15 Posts: 269,456 Member
    Something about him and a gerbil..they say the story was too awful to repeat
  • NewlifeinNW
    NewlifeinNW Posts: 3,866 Member
    I tried to warn her that the jump from a gerbil to a jackrabbit was a little much, but shes always knows best so....
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  • NewlifeinNW
    NewlifeinNW Posts: 3,866 Member
    During his recuperation from a horrible bowling injury, he bought a used electric muscle stimulator off of craigslist for $7.50. Sure, it was a little dirty and smelled kind of funny, but he was sure it was fine. During one of his more intense "genital stimulation" sessions, there was a short in the wiring and a fire ensued which was fueled by his manly hairiness.
  • slimgirljo15
    slimgirljo15 Posts: 269,456 Member
    csbnga wrote: »
    During his recuperation from a horrible bowling injury, he bought a used electric muscle stimulator off of craigslist for $7.50. Sure, it was a little dirty and smelled kind of funny, but he was sure it was fine. During one of his more intense "genital stimulation" sessions, there was a short in the wiring and a fire ensued which was fueled by his manly hairiness.

    Omg..hilarious :D


    I heard it was a heart attack brought on by excessive exertion at 100..taking care of his harem
  • slimgirljo15
    slimgirljo15 Posts: 269,456 Member
    Murdered by his wife ..he came home with lipstick on his collar and genital herpes
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  • NewlifeinNW
    NewlifeinNW Posts: 3,866 Member
    She was a huge fan of Teflon. Over the years the small flecks of Teflon coating her pans accumulated in her colon, coating the inside, causing all her foods to slide right on out. She died from malnutrition.
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  • NewlifeinNW
    NewlifeinNW Posts: 3,866 Member
    While trying to save me via CPR, I had a particularly heinous fart, one of those ones that hurt badly and I spasmed and may have bit her tongue off during the process.
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  • NewlifeinNW
    NewlifeinNW Posts: 3,866 Member
    She was in the chit chat forums. She got incredibly angry at a few posters with no sense of humor. She ran to the kitchen and grabbed a banana and a cream puff and began punching her computer screen with both. She didn't stop until her hands were shattered. She contracted Salmonella into her open wounds from the cream in the cream puff.
  • slimgirljo15
    slimgirljo15 Posts: 269,456 Member
    He had a sugar daddy who beat the cream right out of his cream puff....sad
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  • FabulousFantasticFifty
    FabulousFantasticFifty Posts: 195,832 Member
    Was Binge watching the Kardashians and decided that she really wanted the Kim K bootaay! Not having much cash set aside for self improvements, she youtubed the usage of Silicone for plumping up the derrière, made a list and drove to town where she picked up a couple of tubes at her local Ace Hardware and an X-acto knife from Hobby Lobby. She found a Sitter for the day and proceeded with her makeshift operating room to start her DIY plastic surgery procedure. After drinking a pint of whiskey to numb the pain, she managed to get her right cheek filled to a perfect round curve at which point she started the left side. By this time the whiskey began to hit her hard and she went all crazy and emptied the entire 2nd tube of Silicone into her butt cavity and then passed out! The next morning she woke to a disfigured left butt cheek the size of her collie and kinda shaped like him too! Depressed about the whole thing she thought she'd take a breather And take a relaxing hot bath while she figured out a solution. Between the effects of being hung over and the heat from the bath, the silicone toxicity became elevated and she slipped into a coma. her collie shaped asscheek dragged her down under the water where she drowned! :disappointed:
  • ClubSilencio
    ClubSilencio Posts: 2,983 Member
    She was murdered by a long paragraph!
  • slimgirljo15
    slimgirljo15 Posts: 269,456 Member
    I heard he couldn't pay for his drugs ....so they shot him and threw his body into the river
  • NewlifeinNW
    NewlifeinNW Posts: 3,866 Member
    Epileptic seizure while playing Mario Kart
  • slimgirljo15
    slimgirljo15 Posts: 269,456 Member
    Alien anal probe gone horribly wrong
  • NewlifeinNW
    NewlifeinNW Posts: 3,866 Member
    Alien anal probe that went too right
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  • slimgirljo15
    slimgirljo15 Posts: 269,456 Member
    Pecked to death by a flock of pigeons
  • NewlifeinNW
    NewlifeinNW Posts: 3,866 Member
    Extreme chafing
  • FabulousFantasticFifty
    FabulousFantasticFifty Posts: 195,832 Member
    Extreme dating!
    A group of Satanist Women lured him home and sacrificed him to Satan.
This discussion has been closed.

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