WOMEN AGES 50+ FOR APRIL 2016

Lagopus

CJ - Don't go. There are limits to how much time and expense anyone can be expected to invest in a wedding. If your good friend herself was getting married and you declined the invitation she might have cause to feel disappointed (not insulted!) but it's her son that's getting married. Unless you helped raise him, I can't even see that a gift is warranted! Send a card with your best wishes. :flowerforyou: IMHO

Kim - I'm sure it was the hijabs that threw me and led me to assume the women were running away from something. I would probably have drawn the same conclusion if I'd seen two men running in tie and tails. Unexpected attire for running. I've just never seen anyone in a hijab running for exercise before (though I've seen several men wearing tie and tails to run marathons, probably so they get extra support from the crowd). What bugs me is the sneaking suspicion that my surprise is a form of prejudice (=muslim women don't exercise). I guess I should stand around outside a school in suburban Stockholm during PE. I'm sure I'd see lots of girls and young women in hijabs kicking butt big time.

After finishing up the teaching yesterday, I crashed completely, ate too much and too mindlessly in the evening. It's time to pull myself together. That includes both the eating AND the exercising. The darn viral cough left me so weak and out of breath I haven't dared provoke it by running. It's been so long since I was able to train that I'm beginning to worry about my ability to complete that half-marathon in June. Luckily, the cough is finally starting to go away now.

Today I'll be going to my granddaughter's fourth birthday party. I'll spend the night, partly because the grandkids love making up the guest bed. They "help" by unfolding the daybed then jumping from the armrests and rolling on the mattress shouting "I'm a parrot!" I haven't the faintest idea why. Young as they are, they have been shouting "I'm a parrot" for years, ever since they were old enough to "help". They never mention parrots in any other context. It's a mystery!
/Penny, leaving Stockholm tomorrow evening bound for the

grandmallie

Michelle~ there is such a thing for pavers we dont have it in the north east, but my cousin in minnesota was able to get it, and we found it in Florida.. it is sand and resin mixture that you put on and in the cracks of the pavers and let it set, we used it on a small patio in Florida..
Working until noon today and meeting my other friend Patti for tea at a local tea room.. I will alot myself a pot of tea and maybe a scone with some creme fresh and lemon curd... they will only be open an hr so wont have alot of time for chit chat.. but will be nice just the same..
Tom helping out a friend moving today.. this should be interesting..

cityjaneLondon

Laurie - Thank you for sharing your troubles with your son with us. I'm sure it does weigh very heavily on you. I have an elder son whom I wish was different to the way he is, but he does live some distance away and is working, with a very understanding employer. He has severe depression and huge weight gain, though, the last I heard, he is gradually feeling better.
Although my son has never been diagnosed, I have my suspicions that he is on the autistic spectrum, which has made life difficult for him since he was a child. It could be that your son is somewhere on that spectrum. You can't change them, but it can explain things and make it less frustrating for you.
Sometimes I wish I lived nearer my son, but I think I prefer it this way as it's a bit of "out of sight is out of mind". I really must go up to see him soon, but he is difficult to contact and rarely replies to emails. I'm feeling a bit guilty right now. I saw him at Christmas, so it's not an age.
It sounds as if you could do with a support group, even if it on line. I'm sure there are groups for parents of Anorexia sufferers and the like. It is a shame that you haven't felt able to talk about it. There is a great deal of comfort in knowing we are not alone in our struggles. :flowerforyou:
Of course, you can let us know on here how things are going. Goodness knows I have done enough venting over the years I have been on here, about all sorts of subjects. You have taken the first step. Bravo!

Yesterday DH finished his latest book and submitted it to Createspace for publication. It should go live any time soon.
His name is John Ward and the book is THE KNIFE EDGE. Available through Amazon as a paperback or Kindle soon. It is the 4th book in the Winfreth series - crime novels set in the 9th century, during Anglo Saxon times - Alfred the Great, Vikings and all that. I know Sue's (skuen) husband has been reading the series and one or two others on here. I haven't read the latest yet, but I love Winfreth, who is a spunky young woman, always poking her nose in where it isn't wanted! :laugh: So watch out for it!

Phone line has less crackle on it this morning. Hmmmmmmmm. Wonder why that is ................. :ohwell:

Love Heather UK

grandmallie

morning again dolls~
about far away weddings, as you know we got invited to my second cousins wedding. Think they just wanted a gift, but guess what we fooled them, we are actually going.. yes it is an expense,but it is also family.. and probably the last time my dad will get to see that side of the family.. so will be a nice time non the less.. I will be forking out close to 1,000 bucks when all is said and done.. but the time with my dad and cousin's will be worth so much more than that..
will be off to work in a few.. enjoy your weekend xoxoxo

Peach1948

miriamwithcats

Kim, I am in total agreement about artificial fertilizers. Compost nourishes the soil, which then nourishes the total plant. AND runoff from artificial fertilizers is a huge problem! I am a bit of an environmentalist so when I hear of people using artificial fertilizers like Miracle Gro, I cringe. Far better to dig a hole beside a rose and plant banana peels in it!

I also am a bit of a nut about the concept of retaining the rain that falls on your property ON your property- not letting it run off in to the storm sewers. That is another thing that is harming our environment. So huge cement patios don't allow rain to soak in. And the resin/ sand mix doesn't either. The benefit of pavers is that water soaks in between the pavers. If you use resin/ sand you lose that benefit. There are ways you can landscape that help retain water on your property, so it percolates through the soil and refills the water table with clean water. A rain garden is an area where you divert rain water, that has perennials that thrive in periodic wet times. Or you can incorporate gentle swells in to your lawn. The totally flat lawn that falls off a bit at the edges makes rain run off your property (and makes it so you have to water your lawn!).

barbiecat

Brandy woke me at 3 AM acting like she needed to go out desperately but by the time I got my clothes on, she was asleep on the couch so I took Sasha first like I usually do and just started out day an hour earlier than usual. I'll need a flashlight for the first part of the long dog walk.

Pip, best wishes on your nine mile run

Katla, I know you'll enjoy your riding today

Laurie, this is a good place for venting and sharing. I think if you and your son planned meals for the day and logged them on MFP and agreed to eat all the food--no more, no less--it would be a winning plan for both of you. I have found that eating much the same thing every day has been a good solution for me in losing weight.

I have a friend coming over this morning and we'll walk and talk.


Barbie from beautiful sunny NW Washington

margaretturk

Kim and Miriam thank you for your input about fertilizers like Miracle Grow. I am going to start volunteering at a local Nature Center and Oakley the woman who gave us an intro is presenting a class on no till gardening. Unfortunately I am not able to attend this time. What she said makes sense to me. She said the soil itself is an ecosystem and when we till the soil we disrupt the ecosystem. She likened it to a tornado going through your home. Yes you recover but you are never the same. She agrees with you to use natural mulch and leave as much natural organics as you can. Miriam I like your idea of a banana. I can't remember the source but I heard if you plant an egg and banana with your plants that should cover their nutritional needs. I know since I started watering my temperamental house plants (Hibiscus) with water from cooking veggies and the water from rinsing my coffee cup they look healthy and do not develop white fly like they have in the past. It gives me pause what happens to my health when I put in the processed foods instead of foods with higher nutrient value.

On the subject of rain gardens. I went on a garden tour where a number of homes in a subdivision had rain gardens. When other parts were flooding their neighborhood stayed dried. Unfortunately it takes more than a few to be this effective. Even so everyone who does it helps. Orange ditch day lilies are a great start. Just do not plant with your other lilies or they will take over.

Miriam if you have more tips for healthy gardening love it. Especially now that I am getting the itch to start gardening!

Margaret

KJLaMore

Good morning all! Happy Saturday! Just got caught up with today's reading. I have to head out.
To all great gardeners and green thumbed people- First off, I want to say that I take no offense at your gardening ways and correcting me with my use of Miracle Grow. What can I say; I am new to growing things. Hubby doesn't want a compost bin. I have small children in my house and yard 70 hours a week. Miracle Grow is the "junk food" for plants. But for some one who couldn't keep an air fern alive in her home, planting a few bushes in my yard and giving them their junk food and a little attention when I can is all I can do right now. Some day, I aspire to be a more "organic" grower of things, but for right now it's all I can do to keep the kids in my care alive and healthy. (But, if all it takes is a banana/egg; I could do that)
Pip-Congrats to you and Kirby on the longer runs! And Kirby's better time!
Penny and Michele-How funny that you are speaking of women running in hijabs. My son had to develop a mock-up business for a business class; and he made the business an exercise clothing line for muslim women. He said his classmates thought it was a joke, but his teacher thought it was a great concept and gave the class a lesson on how many muslims there are in the world and the fact that even the women exercise and race. And they race in full hijab!
Love and hugs to all! Gotta run!

lhannon062709

CJ - I heartily agree with all the advice you've already received. If the mother of the groom is a good friend, she knows you already, knows it's not your style, etc. And when you send your regrets, absolutely no explanation is necessary.

If it helps any, I was recently invited to a double baby shower for sisters due to deliver close together. I told one of them, who knows me well, "You do understand I'd rather poke out my eye with a sharp stick than go to a baby shower, right?" She just fell down laughing. I left two small gifts with the organizer, and my regrets.

On the math thing, I was so deficient in math when I went back to college at 34 years old that I had to back up and take a run at it in order to graduate from the honors college. I ended up taking five semesters of math, all the way from slow-people math to honors calculus, which I seriously thought would make my head explode. Had I taken one more math class I would have had a minor in mathematics. I instantly forgot everything I learned in the class the moment I made it through the last one, and have used Microsoft Excel ever since for everything, including my checkbook. I build an Excel formula for what I need, mostly through trial and error, and then stop thinking about it.

Stinker of a headache this morning--I forget that my entire family smokes, and we drove down in my niece's truck, and I was surrounded by it all day long, for the third day in a row. Every time I move my head, my eyeballs feel like each one is walking around in a circle, kicking my skull from the inside as hard as they can. Gah. Also didn't get in until 2:30 this morning, which is much closer to my getting-up time than my usual going-to-bed time.

All that said, I genuinely had the best day yesterday, filled with so much love and hugs and shouts of laughter, and it was just amazing to see my brother. His daughters both also drove over with their families. It was a truly outstanding day, one that will shine bright in my memory for many years to come. Someone was talking every moment, and all voices that I love to hear. So many stories and jokes--I missed it more than I knew. It made it well worth the eight-hour drive to my sister's and another four hours down to my brother's house.

The coffee's beginning to knock the headache down to something manageable... my eyeballs just feel like redhot marbles covered with sandpaper now. Going to go make another cup, text my sister and see if she's up and around yet.

Love y'all,
Lisa in East Texas (headed back to my desert tomorrow)

csofled

Jeesh...I go off the grid and you gals write a book! Halt the presses for a bit while I try and catch up. Pretty please.... Here goes.....

Cheri
Springtime Fairlawn, oHIo

margaretturk

Reflections:

From Life is Hard; Food is Easy

I like how she compares food like fuel for your car. You fill your car and your body before it gets empty. When you fill your tank you do not overfill it. If you do you waste fuel. I do have an issue with wasting food. I like what she said about when you overfill your tank by overeating you still are wasting food anyway because it is like overfilling the gas tank. What happens when you overfill the gas tank the gas spills on the ground. When you overeat you the excess becomes fat that can cause inflammation throughout your body. One of her points is to start really listening to your body.

Last Chapter from The Dance of Anger Tasks for the Daring and Courageous

She points out there are many things we can do to help us with anger in the short run like count to ten, exercise...
I like what she said that a long term goal is using anger as a messenger to help myself clarify (what needs to be protected, what needs to be restored, what needs to be accepted, and what to let go from the book Emotional Genius) and to change those relationship patterns that fuel our unhealthy anger.

"Anger gets us nowhere is if we unwittingly perpetuate the old patterns from which our anger springs." Reminds me of the saying it is like hitting my head against a brick wall. It sure feel good when I finally am able to stop. Or it's not working might be a signal to change course.

Sometimes when you are caught up in unhealthy patterns it hard to see the larger pictures. It is easy to feel discouraged when you try to initiate change because others might feel threatened by your change and want the old pattern becasue it feels comfortable to them.

In dieting a good place to start is by writing down everything I eat because it helps me start to observe and see patterns in how and what you eat. In trying to negotiate anger observing my reaction in times of stress and anxiety. Some of what I notice for myself is I over function in getting tasks done, but under function in taking care of myself. I also become highly reactive things that would not bother in calmer times like loud noises become unbearable. I like how she reminds me to be non judgmental in my observations. These are just patterns (neither good nor bad) it is just how I handle myself in times of high stress.

I believe nurturing the skill of becoming a non judgmental observer is valuable not just in negotiating anger.

Just had a rare treat as I am typing this a pair of mallard ducks waddled by my window. Simple Pleasure!

Even with taking more time to observe there are times to act like yesterday when some of the fifth graders in the class I where I was subbing decided to play football in the bathroom. I made it quite clear NOOOO!

Margaret

TheRealMsWolf

miriamwithcats wrote: »

Kim, I am in total agreement about artificial fertilizers. Compost nourishes the soil, which then nourishes the total plant. AND runoff from artificial fertilizers is a huge problem! I am a bit of an environmentalist so when I hear of people using artificial fertilizers like Miracle Gro, I cringe. Far better to dig a hole beside a rose and plant banana peels in it!

I also am a bit of a nut about the concept of retaining the rain that falls on your property ON your property- not letting it run off in to the storm sewers. That is another thing that is harming our environment. So huge cement patios don't allow rain to soak in. And the resin/ sand mix doesn't either. The benefit of pavers is that water soaks in between the pavers. If you use resin/ sand you lose that benefit. There are ways you can landscape that help retain water on your property, so it percolates through the soil and refills the water table with clean water. A rain garden is an area where you divert rain water, that has perennials that thrive in periodic wet times. Or you can incorporate gentle swells in to your lawn. The totally flat lawn that falls off a bit at the edges makes rain run off your property (and makes it so you have to water your lawn!).

I'm in total agreement with this EXCEPT that you seem to suggest that sand does not allow water to percolate through. Having designed a number of water treatment plants that use sand layers, I can unequivocally say this is not true. Unless of course you mean that when sand is combined with resin it forms a new impermeable substance, in which case I will bow out. One more problem with Miracle Gro is that until very (very) recently, it included pesticides which are harmful to bees.

exermom

Did about 45 minutes of Prevention's 3-2-1 Workout DVD (this was a new one for me). The plan for tomorrow is to do a "You can Do Pilates" DVD

I think the pair of pants that I have on right now is going to get washed and then relegated to the "just a bit too big, keep it just in case" closet. I like to have some clothes that are just a wee bit too big because sometimes you need something a little bit bigger

Janetr - so glad to see you posting. Measurements are so much more important than a number on the scale. I miss Mary, too. Everytime I do a plank, I think of how she suggested I add just one minute to it and eventually I'll get to five minutes, and that worked! I hope all is going well for her.

Laurie - open up as much as you'd like. We're here to help if we can. We worry about our kids, regardless. Is your husband very supportive? I'm just a person who can't eat the same thing every day, I need variety. But that's just me, everyone's different.

Penny - happy birthday to your gd. Love how the kids "help"

Alison - I think I know what you mean That's paver's sand. We put it on every year then you have to wet it (twice), and it turns to almost concrete. What I wish for is something that I can put on and it would last like two or three years.

Miriam - I just heard about the banana peels for rose bushes! Honestly, I don't care for rose bushes. The thing I don't like are the thorns. Otherwise, they're beautiful plants but I think they need work to keep them beautiful. Then again, for some unknown reason, the people before us planted three bushes right next to the garage. I had them removed. Do you have any idea what thorns do to a new car? That's why I don't understand why they did it. Oh yes, I think I do. They had someone come in to do landscaping and he went the cheapest way possible. He also put in a crepe myrtle tree there which I absolutely hated so we had it taken out. I think he must have gotten a good deal on crepe myrtle's. Unfortunately, we had some landscape work done by the son of the lady who does the sewing for me. She does excellent work, so I thought I'd give her son a little business and showed him that there's the potential for more. I specifically told him that I wanted something by the garage that blooms early in the season. That's not what I got. Now Vince is really, really PO'd that we have to remove all the bushes he put in and put in blooming bushes. I just assumed that as a landscaper, he'd know what bushes bloom. Guess not. Live and learn. He also called me cheap when I asked him why there's this thick bladed stuff in the grass seed he put down. He told me that it was seeds from the straw. That's why he wanted to use sod but I wanted to go the cheap way and put down seed. No, what I wanted to do was help my neighbor's child who wanted to do something for us. What can I have a 9 year old do? He certainly can't dig up plants. But he can water grass and bushes. I'm just so so very disappointed. I'm glad that I only had him do a small part because I won't have him do any other work. Before my seizure, the plan was to put in drainpipes in the front yard to extend the present drain pipes. Right now they just end in the middle of the front yard and every time it rains, we have a small lake. We'd like to put them in further away from the house and I know that Vince will want to take pictures of exactly where the pipes are (he's OCD like that, but it's also good because when we had the pergola built to cover the equipment pad, he could tell the guy building it "don't put in a footer here, but you can put one in here")

Margaret - I remember my grandmother always putting egg shells and coffee grounds on her plants!

KJ - if I look at a plant, it seems to die. That is, except for a weed. And this red clay around here isn't helping any.

Michele in NC

pipcd34

janetr7476 wrote: »

Every day when I'm doing my weight training I think of Mary in MN and wonder how she is doing. I really miss her, there is a big hole without her here. She has been so motivational for me.

Janetr OKC - missing Mary in MN

guess i'm chopped liver :0(

kimses2

cityjaneLondon wrote: »

There was a new lady on here who said she had a skinny husband . I have one of those. 6 ft and weighs 157 lbs.

My husband and both my kids are very thin. The kids were very thin -- to the point where I started getting calls from the school. So my husband is about 50lbs lighter than I am, but that doesn't mean he is the picture of health. He takes both high blood pressure and cholesterol meds. It's been difficult to get him to consider the fact that exercise is still important and just because he doesn't have a weight issue, doesn't mean he should eat poorly. He's seems to be paying attention and is meeting with a Health Coach at his work who is giving him small attainable goals to work on.

An interesting point is that I was very strict about no white bread, no processed foods, not junk food with the kids, which was part of the problem. I was feeding my son like a 50 year old woman with a weight problem. Finally a nutritionist said "let him have hot dogs for lunch if that's what he likes to eat. And he needs fat in his diet.".
It was a real awakening for me.

Anyway, it's difficult to live with people that like to have potato chips now and then. I buy everything prepackaged so I can't get out of control, but that doesn't mean it hasn't happened!

Kimses in MA

pipcd34

morning peeps, -

just kidding janetr

miriamwithcats

No, no, no. Sand and soil both allow water to percolate down. It is the resin/sand mixture that does not. Or cement.

Crumbled egg shells make a GREAT addition to the ground around hostas, etc. The sharp edges cut slugs. Pine "straw" (needles" are also good to mulch hostas with. Coffee grounds, egg shells, bananas, any vegetable matter can all be added to the soil around plants or in a planting hole and they will compost. You don't have to have a big bin. You can just dig a hole each day and add that day's vegetable refuse. The microbes in the soil will quickly decay the material. I don't bother to compost on a big scale since it hurts too much to turn the pile regularly. But I toss my scraps into a hole, cover it up, and move on to another one. In the winter, I just toss the scraps into a hidden corner of the yard. They are decayed by spring. You can also buy small compost bins that you roll around on the ground to turn. And you can buy ready made compost as well. good quality ready made is already screened, so the pieces are small enough to sprinkle over your yard before a good rain to fertilize the grass. I am a lazy gardener in some respects. That is why I mulch mulch mulch- much less weeding. And either weed after a rain or water, then weed so the weeds are easy to get up. That even works with quack grass which has LONG roots that if left in the ground will resprout. When the soil is really wet, you can just dig the clump with your dandelion tool, then gently pull the sideways roots out of the ground.

Michele, I hear you about thorns. My grandfather, a cantankerous a**hole, threw fits because the mail man walked across his yard. So he planted barberry shrubs along the drive to keep the mailman out. (So the mailman had to walk to the street, go up the front walk, then walk back down to the street to go to the next house. Every single day! Can you imagine postal costs if everyone was a jerk like my granddad?) Anyone getting out of the car on the passenger side would get snagged by the shrubs, and if you weren't careful, you would also scratch your car. He got out on the side away from the shrubs, so he didn't care about snagged pantyhose, dresses, etc. I did not do roses for a long time because of the thorns. I have tried a few recently, but with climate change and weird winters here, they have not survived. There is a gorgeous type of rose that is thornless- Zepherine Drouhin.

It helps to ask an experienced gardener about anything you plant in your yard. Many things that are offered for sale can be quite difficult to contain or have other undesirable features. The nursery won't tell you that they will take over your yard, crowd out other plants, or create other nuisances. Their goal is to sell you plants. And books don't tend to include all the negatives. Look around your area and see what other people have in their yards. Consult the Master Gardeners in your area. Or even better, take the Master Gardener classes yourself. They are free or cheap, and have a wealth of information and no testing. You do have to do community service to get the certificate but that can be answering phone calls or doing presentations.

miriamwithcats

Kimses, I hear you about kids that are thin. Both my girls are on meds now for ADHD/ ADD. The little one, who is already tiny with a tiny frame, lost three pounds when she first went on them. Now that the older one is on meds, her first checkup showed that she had lost SEVEN pounds but still grew taller. She is a bigger build, but was thin to start with, too. So I have to push calories on both of them, and it is so different from my entire life of weight struggles! I am having a hard time wrapping my mind around that. It does help that I cannot eat gluten, so I can fill them up with that sort of food without tempting myself. But I naturally want to push fruit and veggies, and low fat, and no processed foods. Ah well.

Katla49

Alison: Sympathy for Patty and her family. :flowerforyou:

CJ: Thank you for your prayers & good wishes. I think the whole family is in need of prayer and I have been praying for all of them. His wife, daughter, unborn baby and Mom are the ones I focus my prayers on. I have no advice about the wedding. Good luck with your decision. :flowerforyou:

Joyce: I'm happy that you and your brother and sister were able to go out to lunch together at an old favorite restaurant. :flowerforyou:

Barbie: DH went to an acupuncturist for quite a while and was greatly helped. His advice is to hang in there for at least six treatments. Improvement was not instantaneous, but he recognized a significant difference in how he felt later on. It was very much worth his time, effort, and money. Have you considered or tried orthotics? I went to Walmart and stepped on the Doctor Scholls foot analyzer. I ended up buying Doctor Scholls Custom orthotics for my riding boots and they help. They aren't truly custom, but they do well enough to be worth the trouble. DH had some orthotics custom made years ago and uses them all the time. Custom made are best, but expensive, and what I bought for about $50 is helping. :flowerforyou:

Beth: I hope you feel better soon. :flowerforyou:

Janetr OKC: I've been missing Mary, too. I hope she is doing well and rejoins us in August.

Kim & Miriam: I favor fish fertilizer for my outdoor plants. My plants love it. I do have Orchid Fertilizer made by Miracle Grow. I'm not sure how good it is. I mix it up and freeze it in ice cube trays and then drop a few ice cubes on each houseplant once or twice a week. I use regular tap water in between if it is needed. The plants are doing well, but they did well on water, too. Our Christmas Cactus plants seem to absolutely LOVE the stuff. :huh:

Margaret & Miriam: I appreciate your comments on anger. I heard a maxim long ago and can't remember where, but it has been thought provoking: "Depression is anger turned inward." What do you think? Does it fit with your personal experience or what you've been reading? :huh: :flowerforyou:


Riding today! Yay!!! DD was supposed to arrive in the wee hours tomorrow morning, but that has been postponed indefinitely because of her husband's family crisis. At least we got the guest room reorganized and it will be ready for her when she can come. Our taxes are done and in the mail! We don't have to pay extra this year! WAHOO!!!!





Katla in Beautiful NW Oregon

Tibetan proverb: "The secret to living well and long is: Eat half, walk double, laugh triple and love without measure..."

“Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time.” Thomas A. Edison