WOMEN AGES 50+ FOR MAY 2016

KetoneKaren

jmkmomm wrote: »

Well I don't suggest getting back to wonderland the way I am doing it but I am getting back there. I started my water pill weighing 219.8. I am now 206.

I can't remember who it was that sent me the link to 5 wishes. Can that just be printed off and filled in later or does it have to be filled out and then printed?

So, so tired today. I wish it was time for supper so I could get ready for bed. A nap just makes getting to sleep all the more harder. I go to bed at about 1:30 with my Ambien in my system and by looking at my sleep status on my fitbit it takes about 2-3 hours to get to sleep and it is a restless sleep.

Joyce, Indiana

Joyce in Indiana - I sent you the Five Wishes link. It can be filled in online or printed and filled in by hand. When I did mine I had to fill it out three times before I really felt at peace with what I wanted. There were things I just hadn't ever thought about before. It was a rather emotional and provocative exercise which I am very glad I went through. I imagine I will revise it as the years go along. Good luck...and I will be thinking of you.

Here is the link again:

https://www.pdffiller.com/21962556-ADVANCED-DIRECTIVE-5-WISHESpdf-Five-Wishes---York-Hospital-Various-Fillable-Forms?utm_source=bing&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=Unsorted US Miscellaneous Forms&utm_term=Five Wishes&utm_content=*Five Wishes

Karen in Virginia

SSB09040

Hi, I'm trying to keep fit and healthy but need motivation sometimes.

Goals for May (and the rest of my life too!):

Maintain current weight.
Maintain current exercise @ 45-60 mins daily.

Cease binge eating every 4-5 nights!
I crave sweets, savouries, carbs and proteins and eat nearly a whole day's calories in one evening, then feel disgusted with myself afterwards. A vicious cycle.

Lagopus

Hi all. I'm fine but have internet connection woes. Writing on my cell phone, which doesn't always work well. Heading for Stockholm today for a week of teaching. Special hugs to Joyce, Carol Peach, and Joyce.
/Penny

Lagopus

Sorry, Joyce certainly deserves double hugs, but the second set was intended for CJ.
/Penny

lhannon062709

Ah... fresh bread rising on the stove, second cup of coffee burbling in the coffeemaker, dishwasher running, laundry in the dryer... all the noises of a house with all the conveniences. The only one of those I've got in the apartment is a coffeemaker. I've decided to stop calling it "the warehouse," as it's really starting to look like someone is going to live there.

But, came out to the ranch for the night, will head back into town again this morning. The DH needed me to drive his truck while he drove one of the ranch trucks back from the dealer, where it had been worked on. We'll take another ranch truck in today (Sunday) that needs an inspection. That means he'll stay the night (yay!) and get it inspected in the morning. Love it when he stays in town with me.

I put in about 12 hours working on the apartment yesterday, the first six installing pegboards and shifting my DH's tools into what will be the wood shop. Once he got there, we got the studs up for the last two walls for the kitchen and the bathroom. We also got ceilings on the entire living area yesterday except the hallways. Well, pergolas, as my husband calls them. The ceiling studs are up, but still have to get sheetrock or wallboard up. We're going to put white beadboard on the kitchen/living area walls, a little more expensive, but easier than sheetrock (drywall) by far.

My father was a painter/paperhanger/sheetrock installer and contractor, so I spent a lot of time on construction sites as a child. I know I'll be living in one for the foreseeable future. Hopefully we'll get it finished by the end of the year. This weekend, I'll just be happy if he gets the light and the vent fan installed in the bathroom before he calls it a day. Tired of plugging in my bathroom light! But, could be worse, could be driving all the way out to the ranch eveyr night--the 45-minute commute gets old when you're tired... and expensive when you're not making much money.

Love y'all! Thought you'd like to see the current plan. The yellow bit still needs ceiling, and the purple bit still needs everything.

grandmallie

Lisa- nice job...looks like that will work wonderfully for you..
It is rainy,damp and cold here in Connecticut,feels like March weather rather than the end of May...geesh..
But I am bundled up and sitting out on the covered front porch...by far this is my favorite place to relax here...there are flowers and bird feeders and a hummingbird feeder,dense trees across the street and heard turkeys gobbling before...
Today will get Faith her meds,insulin and breakfast,then off to grocery shop.i usually like to be there first thing when they open as I get a bit anxious when there are to many people around me,but will get through it.
Barbie and Joyce - will be thinking of both Jake and Charlie and keeping both in my prayers as there surgeries approach.

cityjaneLondon

Looking good Lisa! Wasn't there some problem originally with planning permission for a living in unit? Have you got round this?

Thanks Karen for the 5 Wishes link. I will do something about it. What I really should get round to is Lasting Power of Attorney. I have no access to DH's money should anything happen to him so he couldn't manage things himself. (Stroke, accident, Alzheimers etc) Last time I suggested it in the lawyer's office he was very reluctant. It's quite expensive. :ohwell: We only have monthly expenses in the joint account.

Sorry, Barbie, for Jake's physical and family problems. I'm like you, in that the driving would be on my mind. Do you have a good friend who would be prepared to collect you both? I know it's hard to ask people, but some people like to help.

DH has gone off to cricket. Showers are forecast for this afternoon, so he may be back earlier than usual. I am having Won Tun soup for lunch with seaweed and miso . LOTS of chillis.
My chilli con care that I make is not very hot because DH doesn't like it too hot. I like a good, deep flavour - not too much tomato. I just put added chilli sauce on my portion.

Kim - Wondering how all your entertaining is going. You have a lot on your plate!!!!!!!!!
I have my brother at last coming over for lunch on Friday. Haven't seen him since January! He only lives 10 miles away. Just going to do bought picky bits, make a hummus and a soup. He is diabetic, so won't be doing a dessert. Might make nice bread and have some runny, stinky cheese, which he and I love. (I have to hide it from DH ) My DSIL is also coming.
The restaurant voucher I bought him for his birthday did not work at the restaurant! :sad: I was billed for it on my bank account so I will have to take it back to the shop. I didn't keep the receipt because it came through on my account. Hope they can sort it out. I can print out the bank statement. Very annoying for them as they had eaten their meal and then it didn't work! :sad:

Going to watch the rest of my French TV series today. It's very, very good, although quite controversial in France.

Love Heather UK

lhannon062709

Heather... in answer to your question, we're kind of walking sideways around it. Everything we're putting in can be construed as office-oriented, except maybe the bedroom. And when you're working two jobs, you have to nap somewhere, which I technically am working two jobs... not my favorite way to go about things, but we could fight anything they try to level against us without too much trouble. And the last people who owned the warehouse used what's now the craft workshop as a one-bedroom apartment, so not sweating it too much. The city doesn't care, as long as you pay your city bills...

Peach1948

klanders30

Barbie I can relate to your concern about the drive. Short of hiring a pro or friend to actually do the drive , you could very methodically (right up your alley) plan your route and itinerary with the mental breaks that you will need. When faced with a long exhausting drive under stress I have used my music tapes as well as ticking off the journey with positive reinforcement to get myself through. I had to keep reminding myself I was handling things. I was doing what needed to be done and I also thought about the positive result that was awaiting me. that is being home safe and sound. I know this may not be your exact scenario but I hope just thinking about it might help ease the anxiety. You've got a lot on your plate. Sending you

klanders30

Barbie. Sending you strength and love. Karen from ny

barbiecat

Lisa, that's quite an impressive project...you are very talented

Heather, there was one friend who offered to pick Jake up at the hospital once before but this time the friend is having cataract surgery the same week....then Jake told me that he really wants me to come stay at the hospital with him and that he trusts my driving more than anyone else...we figured out an alternate route home that will keep us away from downtown Seattle and the Seattle waterfront so the drive won't be so scary...I have just gotten used to having someone else drive except for out in the country where we live....I'm sorry that your husband is so reluctant to help you make plans for what would happen if he couldn't handle his own financial affairs

Karen, Thank you for the link to the Five Wishes....We have a similar document that was prepared by our attorney when we made our wills but I might be able to share it with a friend who can't afford to pay a professional.

Joyce, I'm sorry your daughters won't be with you the way you want at the time of Charlie's surgery

Alison, our grocery store is open 24 hours a day, but we like to get there before 8:30 when it isn't crowded....there is another grocery store in town that has lower prices on many items but the aisles are narrow and it's always crowded so I don't shop there.

Thank you for being with me while I ate my breakfast...now I am off to walk my dogs.

Peach1948

Barbie ~ I can understand your reluctance to drive in Seattle. Since I have been driving through Atlanta every few weeks, a lot of my fear has abated. I hope that Jakes's surgery is successful. My mom had to have a fractured disc in her back cemented and her pain has subsided.

Carol

Lilymay2

YEAH!!!! It has finally rained - started last night with a spectacular light show with sound effects. This morning looks soooo fresh!!

Lillian in Fresh looking West Central Saskatchewan

miriamwithcats

Karenleona, as a person with a mental illness, I take great offense at your use of the term "nutballs".

miriamwithcats

Barbie and Joyce, hugs to both of you with what you are going through.

Karen in the lovely dress, hope your day is filled with fun.

Love to all. I am a bit upset right now so not feeling chatty.

Peach1948

Lillian ~ Know you are doing the happy dance for rain!

kimses2

Taking baby steps to get back in the swing of things. I tracked food yesterday. I found myself cheating on the entries which is funny because no one else will see it--guess that tells me where some of my challenges are! Because I just plain forget to log I'm going to set up some reminders on my phone. My exercise is going ok which is usually the case.

Down at the Cape (Cod) doing yard work and left the kids (22 and 18) home alone, so I hope the house is still standing when I get home. I got a text last night from my daughter "big party here...lots of alcohol and it's all spilled on the new rug." very funny...such a smart aleck. Gosh. I hope it was a joke!!!!

Kimses in MA

GRITSandSLUTSandWINOS

Annr – I have 2 boys, 180 degrees different in their temperament. They get along fabulously. Oldest one is more sensitive about things. Worries about failure, all the time. He married very young because GF was pregnant. We tried talking him out of it; but, he wanted to do the ‘right thing’ and so he married her. Marriage lasted 2 years. She had other plans with other men. But, he had a daughter to help raise. When she turned 14 (her birthday) she signed the petition to have her custody changed to her Daddy. Best thing that ever happened to her. DYS has always been ‘self-confident’ and isn’t afraid to ‘fail’, that is how he learns things. Very confident and makes 3x (or more) money than his brother will ever make given the education of each one. DOS works with his Daddy; but, really does not want to ‘take over the business’ (in some ways, I can’t really blame him); but, it has been good income for the two of us. DH will work until he drops in the bushes; but, lately has talked about wanting to quit working as hard as he does. I’d like DOS to find another job, then that way, if DH wanted to take on small jobs, he could do it without having to worry about making enough for son to support his family. I told him that maybe he needed to talk to DOS about a deadline for finding another job, if he isn’t willing to take on the business; say the end of December, 2016. He just looks at me. Son will be 40 in June. A little old to be starting at the bottom; but, with only 1 year of college under his belt. I know DH would help pay for him to go back to school, but, he doesn’t want to do that. Mainly, because his wife would want to do the same. We aren’t paying for her to go, nor are we paying for her spending every nickel they make. He is a smart man, could do anything that his heart desired. Maybe he ought to apply for jobs as a Hispanic (he could certainly pass for one). You know, ‘diversity’ and all that. Just kidding. His wife is trying to find another job as well. So it is a houseful of turmoil and we get the brunt of it. We are both tired of hearing about it.

Pip34 – Is the black lab a ‘new’ baby; or is this an older picture?

Joyce – I don’t know what type of surgery your husband is going to have; but, I think it is important that he voice his ‘fears’ to his MD. I know when my Mother voiced the concerns that my Daddy had before surgery … the MD said, that he wished they had voiced it ahead of time. They might not have done it at that time. But, to NOT do it would or could have killed him. They were going in to repair a thin spot in one of his major bloodlines. He had a debilitating stroke when they were x-raying him to find out exactly where it was located and also to make sure there were not any other areas they needed to explore. He had already put it off until after the New Year because he wanted to have a Christmas when all his children and grandchildren would be with him. I think my Mother blamed herself a lot for it. But, there was no way to tell, one way or the other. I think you have to make that type of decision based on what the MD has suggested. Any surgery is without its own set of risks. Good that your sister is coming to stay with you. Everyone ‘waiting’ needs to have someone ‘waiting’ with them.

Lisa – Nice ‘apartment/home-away-from-home’ in your warehouse. Looks like it will be very comfortable. How do you enter your bathroom? About the only ‘other’ thing I would want there would be a ‘shower’ … since you stay there several days in a row; but, that is just me.

Heather – What would be expensive about having your name added to his bank account(s)? I would think that all you’d have to do is sign a new signatory card. Making a Will might be expensive up front; but, having one will save you or your children a whole lot of money by not having to advertise every time they wanted to sell something that would belong to his ‘estate’. Both my husband and I have ‘joint’ checking accounts; but, he uses his exclusively and I do the same. Unless, each of us have the permission of the other to use it. I also have a ‘joint account’ with my DOS; until or unless he signs on to be a ‘joint’ holder of his ‘wife’s account’ at the same bank; then he would have to come off it. We’d both have to go to the bank for us to make that change. But, I won’t allow him to stay on if, if he is on hers because the bank would draw $$$ out of my/our account should she ‘overdraw’ hers … which happens a lot!

Both my DH and I have a “’Will’ a ‘Living Will’, a ‘POA’, and a ‘Durable Power of Attorney’” that would take care of all the things listed in the 5 Wishes document and all have been copies and are on file with our Financial Planner. The important thing is to have them where the survivor(s) can find them.

Some people, for some 'odd' reason, do not want to make a Will because it means they are 'thinking' about their own death; but, not what happens when the other party in the marriage (or children) would have to go through and pay if they don't have one. There are certain documents that can be filed that would allow you to use his account to pay for daily necessities. For one, a General Power of Attorney. But, the easiest way would be to go to the bank with him and both of you sign a new signatory card; with the understanding that you won't use the funds unless he is in a condition that would require you to do so. Like I said, both my DH and I have 'joint' accounts at separate banks ... neither of us use the other's unless it is necessary or we have given the other permission to do so. The 'only' reason I placed our DOS on one of them, was so that he could get to some $$$ until things were settled out. I know he would never use it on his own.

A General Power of Attorney would allow each of you to do what each other would do, if you were able to do so. In some states to do a "Power of Attorney" you HAVE to have it done by an attorney. That is the reason that my DH's daughter could take what she took from his Mother; she had pulled one off the Internet and did not 'know' the laws of Florida. We could have taken her to court over it; but, both DH and DBnL did not think it was worth the $500 an hour we'd have to pay an attorney to proved she had 'co-mingled' funds and then taken what she wanted from the estate. All I can say is "Karma will come visiting one day"; but, at this point I really don't give a damn if she does or doesn't. She's been 'out of our lives' for going on 10 years now. The way my DH views it, is she died the day his Mother did (as well as her husband and daughter). We do not expect a reconciliation; but, it is open if she wants it.

Lenora

Charleen2

Lisa - I think you need to call the 'bedroom' a 'conference room'. There is no closet, so of course it's not a bedroom {wink, wink} just a conference room with a really odd table.

lhannon062709

Lenora - it's a tub with shower head--oddly enough tub/shower combos are cheaper than shower stalls. And the entrance is right where the word bathroom is... we will be putting a door up there, but haven't decided yet whether to put it before the laundry area or after... probably after.

And Charleen, I actually laughed out loud. Love that... New softer, gentler conference table. Hee!

The only rooms that existed when we got there were the front office and the craft workshop. We took the closet out of the craft workshop and ripped out all the old shelving in the toolroom behind it to turn it into a small bedroom, and then started building out from there. First with the dividing wall across the middle of the warehouse, then the rest. Considering how much of this I've done over the years, it's really nice to be doing it inside, instead of getting sunburnt or rained on!

Back off to town, my mini-vacay at the ranch is over...

Love y'all,
Lisa in West Texas

pipcd34

morning peeps-I will reply later when I get home

cityjaneLondon

Lenora - You are right about putting my name onto a couple of his accounts would be the cheapest and easiest way to access some of his money if I needed it, but I would have to catch him at a very good moment to suggest that. Because we got married later in life we each brought our own savings to the marriage and we both like to keep our own finances separate. Then we can do what we want with our own money. He is very generous, but on his own terms.
My concern would be if he was permanently rendered incapable, such as a bad stroke. I would have to organise a nursing home for him if he couldn't be cared for at home long term and that can be horrendously expensive. He has savings, iin a lot of different accounts, but I couldn't get to them as things stand. Lasting Power of Attorney would have to be activated under those conditions, but would be much quicker and easier than having to go through the legal process after he was incapacitated. The same goes for me.
We have both made mirrored wills, so that is all sorted.
I will talk to him again.

He is back from the cricket as it was raining. Fortunately my film was finished. Must post it off.

Salmon tonight.

Heather UK

barbiecat

miriamwithcats wrote: »

Karenleona, as a person with a mental illness, I take great offense at your use of the term "nutballs".

I applaud your courage to speak up....many people use thoughtless language not realizing how hurtful it is and continue to do so unless someone points it out to them.

Katla49

Lisa: Your living/working area inside the warehouse looks just right for your needs.

Karen: The five wishes link was great, but Oregon is not on the list. I'll need to see what is needed in Oregon.

Barbie: Seattle traffic is the pits. I wouldn't look forward to it, either. Can you time your drive to avoid rush hour? It sounds as though you've figured out the best possible route already. :flowerforyou:

Lillian: Congratulations on finally getting some rain! I hope it is enough to put the fires OUT.

Kimses: I do all my logging on my iphone. It is always with me, and stores the data so that if I don't have internet service I still don't miss that day with MFP. :flowerforyou:


Yesterday we shared dinner at a Chinese restaurant in Kalama, WA with our sailing club. Some of the group took their boats but we drove. It was great to see everyone. We've missed nearly all of the club activities in the past year so this was a treat for us. The club is going to Martin Island for Memorial Day weekend this coming week. I wish we could go along, but we have a lot of work to do on our boat to get it cruise ready and I have doubts that we will get it done in time to go. We've had the boat mechanic fix all the mechanical problems, but our son changed how the boat was rigged and we want to change it back. That will take nice weather and several hours to accomplish, maybe even days. We aren't as spry as we once were. We might hop in the fishing boat and go down for a short visit while they're there, but it would need to be a calm day.

Katla in Beautiful NW Oregon

Tibetan proverb: "The secret to living well and long is: Eat half, walk double, laugh triple and love without measure..."

“Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time.” Thomas A. Edison

grandmallie

afternoon ladies~
well took care of Faith early,and went grocery shopping, spent 274.60 and saved 97.90 with coupons and card savings...so it came down to 177.00 and change.. thats pretty good, only think is lost my grocery list, 1/2 way through the store.. took groceries home, put them away, got Toms lunch together for tomorrow and took some meatloaf out for him for tonight, so he is set for the day.. think I will go take a nap....

pipcd34

.

margaretturk

Karenlenona I have worked in schools for over twenty years and I agree the weather and a full moon has an effect on behavior. I do not think your intention was to be offensive. You were noting the effect weather can have on behavior.

Working in the public fish bowl of education I know how important choice of words can be. What worries me though is when people feel stifled in their speech and have to worry about everything they say the feelings that cause the speech can be suppressed and the opportunity for learning and growth may get lost.

This being said I do believe whether mental illness is involved or not our environment and weather has tremendous influence on our moods and behavior and it never hurts to make note of it and adjust accordingly.

I also believe Miriam it is important to speak out if something is troubling you about a post.

This is why I keep coming back. This is a wonderful group of women from diverse backgrounds whose main goal is to lead a healthier life for themselves and others.

Margaret

Peach1948

Margaret and Miriam ~ I have to chime in. I think that we have gotten to the point of having to be too socially correct! Kareleon's reference to "nutballies" was just a light hearted way of expressing what she was facing that evening. As a 5th grade teacher, I sure had my share of reprimands from parents over the 30 yr stint where I annoyed them with something I said. Never meant to hurt/harm anyone.

GRITSandSLUTSandWINOS

Heather – Like you said, same goes for you, too. Do either of you have children that you brought into the marriage? That can be ‘sticky’ as well; because after one of you dies, there is nothing that can be done about changing your Will and leaving his children out of it, or him leaving your children out of the Wills. We have mirror Wills as well; then we leave our ‘stuff’ to our children, share and share alike; but, then they can divide it between themselves. DYS does not want to own anything with DOS and I can understand that. The land we live on is actually 2 tracts of land that are about the same in size; one that has unencumbered land behind it will go to DOS; and the tract of land our house sits on goes to DYS (after insurance pays for it). Also, DH specifically wrote his daughter out of his Will because of what she did when his Mother died. Basically, she got the major portion of the estate … and DH and DBnL got left out; but, “Karma will come to visit one day.” Would a Durable Power of Attorney make it so you could get to his money if you needed it or is that only for obtaining medical services and making medical decisions? I’m pretty sure that if you have a “Power of Attorney” you could take it to the bank and draw out his money if you needed to. Having a General POA means that the person with the ‘power’ has the right to do anything that the person giving the power the same as if he was doing it. But, there again, I am only a ‘former’ legal secretary and still cannot give legal advice. Laws in London could be very different there in London. I’d call an attorney and ask about it, then do what is necessary to get one for each of you. Of course, doing this is a ‘legal document’ and usually they have to be ‘filed with the Clerk of Court; and, if you decide you don’t want it, you have to file papers to ‘rescind’ it. But, being a legal secretary, I was exposed to all that can come along with people who don’t have the 4 legal documents that allow a spouse or a child to make decisions in your stead or when you die. Will, Living Will, Power of Attorney, and a Durable Power of Attorney. Definitely talk to him again (and again, if necessary). You are only trying to do this to protect each of you. A Death Certificate and a copy of the Will, would probably allow you to get the money in different accounts ... it would prove you are entitled to it, unless he has named someone specific to get it. I know when I die, all DH has to do is take a copy of the death certificate to the Financial Adviser (maybe with a copy of the Will) and his name will then be put on the account as the owner. I don't see why this would be any different at a bank.

Another thing that is very important, if you have life insurance – DO NOT NAME THE “ESTATE” AS THE BENEFICIARY! NAME A PERSON – SPOUSE OR WHOEVER YOU WANT TO GET IT. In the USA, having a named person to be the beneficiary allows that person to pay debts that are owed, such a funeral expenses, last bills, and anything that is due to others. If you name the “Estate” … you give creditors first right to the money and you’d have to wait until the Will goes through Probate Court. Some Wills that are simple don’t have to go through the Probate Court; but, most of them are filed with the Clerk of Court (or Probate Court).

I missed the post of calling people ‘nutballs’; but, I agree with Miriam … not nice when talking about someone who has a ‘mental illness’. So many can be controlled by taking medication … just like diabetes can be controlled by medication. It is an illness, no different than physical ones. Unfortunately, misunderstood by others.

Lenora