WOMEN AGES 50+ FOR MAY 2016
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Carol/Peach, please don't go. Miriam, don't you go, either, nor Karen-Leona.
Miriam, when you said you took offense to the term used, you had every right to say it... and you are usually a calm voice of reason here, so your next reaction seemed out of line on the harsh side. The defense of the lady's wording was mostly for the context, which was joking.
Language is where I live, and you know the same word in one context and in another can mean very, very different things. She was not in any way trying to be pejorative about those who are mentally ill... We've called each other on a number of words, including "word-Nazi," and others which have the potential to harm, and once you called it, and said you took offense, the rest is merely drama which won't ever be settled.
In Miriam's defense, we all know, because we've had it leveled against us, that telling someone they don't have a right to feel that way about anything, is not useful. She has a right to her feelings, as do we all.
Yes, I've had pejoratives used at me and around me. A communications professor in college who I respected a lot said to me once about women, "My daddy told me once I should never trust something that bleeds for a week and doesn't die." My first reaction wasn't pleasant... and then I educated him on the realities of menstruation, in blunt terms and with graphic description, much of which he'd never known. The fact that his education and background were all about how people communicate simply made it worse. I doubt he ever used that line again.
People very, very seldom use the term "b.tch" around me twice, either.
We all need to call this one done and dusted, if humanly possible. We are too valuable to lose each other over a single word that was not meant to harm. Once you've made your point, that it can and does cause harm, the rest is not useful to bring us forward.
Shall we move forward now?
Love y'all,
Don't let this take you out of the thread please... all your voices are valuable to me.
Lisa in West Texas.7 -
Saw ortho @ New England Baptist last Friday re: my left knee. Had cortisone shots & now feel like a new person...worked hours in yard, planted numerous containers with more to do and upped my step count considerably. Wow, what a difference being pain free makes. When discussing knee replacement, Dr. was very matter of fact...2 days in hospital, 4 wks on crutches, 2 months of physical therapy and 2 yrs before complete recovery. He is world renowned and perhaps wants to manage expectations but his bluntness put me off a little. Seems to me some of you here have had knees done...I know everyone is different but I'd be interested in your experience if you wouldn't mind sharing?
GLo on the North Shore of Ma. looking forward to another day of having fun in the dirt0 -
Morning ladies -
I am home and getting stuff ready for the day.. Will make my lunch and Toms get his dinner together and take a shower and get the dogs out for a walk...then up to Faith after work and get her pills and dinner into her..0 -
Joyce, Yep, there is a living area (well, a couch and a TV) right in the kitchen area... We're essentially building it as an eat-in kitchen, or the tiniest greatroom you've ever seen.
We don't have guests the vast majority of the time. My DH and I tend to live quiet (ok, busy, quiet) lives, and just enjoy each other's company.
For those of you who are interested, I included a view of the space as it stands right now. Feel free to skip if this isn't your bag. We did decide to make the tiny bedroom into a walk-thru closet. Just not enough airflow into and out of there to make it a comfortable bedroom, but having a dedicated space will resolve a lot of the storage issues now.
I'll probably move all the craft supply shelves in there, build blanket shelves, build shoe racks, etc. May try to convince the DH that it would also be the best place for the washer/dryer. Because, well, it would. But it would require more plumbing work on his part... I think. Might actually make it easier, I don't know. I don't do plumbing or electrical, but I'm a dab hand at handing tools and holding up drywall, and building small stuff, like shelves and storage.
Yesterday, we got the drywall completely up in the bathroom... Debating on whether to start the mudding/taping this morning or go work out. Still debating...
Hope everyone has a great week...
Love y'all,
Lisa in West Texas
The apartment as it stands right now:
The apartment we're in the process of building:
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Wise Women I love being able to come here for inspiration. What a blessing to have stumbled upon this thread! I wish I could read it from the beginning. (LOL!) What a rich tapestry you ladies have woven.
The Big Fat Wedding was wonderful. The groom didn't take his eyes off his bride from the moment she appeared looking like a fairy tale princess, on her father's arm. The entire ceremony he was engaged with her, it was lovely to see his obvious commitment and adoration. Wow!! Even though he was raised as a Unitarian, and she as a Catholic, a friend of the groom Rabbi David performed the ceremony. It was spectacular to listen to. It so happened that the best man was Jewish and he smiled through the whole ceremony especially when Rabbi was singing. Rabbi has a lovely voice.
Enough about that.
Five Wishes I wanted to clarify something as I see a lot of conversation about this document. It is recognized as a legal document in over 40 U.S. states and territories. That was not something I took into account when I filled it out. I have a will, a durable power of attorney, and an advanced medical directive. And I have Five Wishes. If I lived in Tasmania or Moscow I would have Five Wishes. If I lived in Indiana or Oregon I would have Five Wishes.
There are a lot of somewhat difficult issues that one can choose to address in the Five Wishes document. I revised mine a few times, because it is a process that really got me thinking about the details of my end of life experience, should it be anything other than sudden death. Of course it can be filled in quickly without a lot of detail, but that isn't what I chose.
I put things in there that I like and things that are agitating or annoying. Great fodder for someone who secretly despises me LOL!! And some of you may think it silly, but I am going to go out on a limb here and share 4 of the things I put in my Five Wishes document. I asked that my pillowcase be pulled smooth under my cheek if I am positioned on my side in bed so I don't have fabric folds/bunches under my cheek (which I can't stand). This is something I do for myself now that makes an enormous difference in how comfortable I am. I asked that my pillow not go under my shoulders, but support only my head and neck. And I asked that the bedsheets not be tucked in at the bottom of the bed, so my toes aren't bound and squished. I don't like the way Narcissus smells, but I do love daffodils and lilac and iris and poppies in case anyone wanted to bring flowers for my room. And so on.
I do not know if any of this will matter to me when I am unable to care for myself. It will matter to those who love me. It will empower them to do some little thing that they imagine will comfort me or that I would appreciate. It will help them not to feel helpless. And if I am so lucky as to have hired caretakers who have compassion, it will help them to do their jobs in a more meaningful way.
My mother used to say "Do everything you can do to get the outcome you want...then let go of the outcome, because you have done what you can."
Love to all who are hurting today.
Karen in Virginia1 -
Betty ~ Beautiful apple trees. I have been admiring some in a pasture that runs down the road from my house. So lovely.
Joyce & Charlie ~ We will all be thinking of you all week as you prepare for surgery and pray it will go OK.
NSV for Me ~ 7 days with no wine in the evening. Now, this would not sound like much for so many of you; but, I have been drinking wine in the evening forever. A bonus was that I think I will actually lose some weight along the way. Prayers for me would be appreciated.
Love to you all,
Carol8 -
@Peach1948 Carol I know I am new to this thread and you don't know me yet, but let me just say congratulations on getting through a week without wine in the evening. That surely changes your entire dynamic and is taking some adjustment. It is inspiring. I am trying to limit screen time including TV & computer to 2 hours a day and finding that a bit difficult. I will think of you giving up your wine today and be motivated by it. 2
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Carol - Well done! :flowerforyou: I find it hard enough having one or two alcohol free days a week. :ohwell: I will have one today in your honour.
Love to all, Heather UK3 -
Beatty gorgeous tree.
Carol well done!1 -
Home from a lovely visit with family in Colorado. Spent a day in the mountains helping my brother breed cows. It was like old time as we were working a herd of some people I haven't seen since my 4-H days 40 years ago. I spent the second day with my sister-in-law at her store. She makes beautiful custom jewelry. I bought a fantastic turquoise and silver contemporary pendant. Good visit but glad to be home.
Marcelyn
Home in Houston2 -
Joyce: You have some stressful times ahead. I visited my dad when he was in the hospital after a massive heart attack. I was 12 or 13 at the time and appreciated being included. Every child is different. You have a lot to deal with right now, and all you can do is your best to make good decisions about who will be there. (((HUGS)))
Carol: Congratulations! :bigsmile:
Sea Lion Number 2 kept me awake for a long time last night, but eventually I got some sleep. I feel chronically fatigued & my brain is not in top form. I don't like this at all. Think about a barking dog that weights about 500 lbs and has a really big sound system that plays to the whole neighborhood. :mad: :yawn:
Katla in Beautiful NW Oregon
Tibetan proverb: "The secret to living well and long is: Eat half, walk double, laugh triple and love without measure..."
“Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time.” Thomas A. Edison
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miriamwithcats wrote: »If we don't have to be politically correct, then let's all just call each other names like ni**er, bi***, sp**, damnmor***, cripp**, whatever. Calling anyone a nutball is not "not politically correct" but is offensive and rude behavior. Politics has nothing to do with it. And if someone cannot communicate without using slurs than they have no business here. I am sorry, but that is a form of communication that NEEDS to be stifled. I am offended by the people that have said otherwise, and by all the folks that liked their comments. My opinion of this group has just gone down a whole bunch.
On another note, scientific research has shown NO link between phases of the moon and behavior. You see what you believe. There is a link to other forms of weather phenomenon but not phases of the moon.
I must have missed something, what r u talking about0 -
morning peeps- I always miss the drama, well, that's what I get for not reading everything thoroughly0
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Saw ortho @ New England Baptist last Friday re: my left knee. Had cortisone shots & now feel like a new person...worked hours in yard, planted numerous containers with more to do and upped my step count considerably. Wow, what a difference being pain free makes. When discussing knee replacement, Dr. was very matter of fact...2 days in hospital, 4 wks on crutches, 2 months of physical therapy and 2 yrs before complete recovery. He is world renowned and perhaps wants to manage expectations but his bluntness put me off a little. Seems to me some of you here have had knees done...I know everyone is different but I'd be interested in your experience if you wouldn't mind sharing?
GLo on the North Shore of Ma. looking forward to another day of having fun in the dirt
Glo - Firstly, as you said, everyone is different. Cortizone shots did nothing at all for me. I had my right knee replaced in January 2015 and the left done in September 2015. I used a walker around the house for the first few days. I walked totally unassisted into the doctor's office for my two week post surgery follow up both times. The right knee I had four weeks of physical therapy and the left knee two weeks of PT before being released to full activity. I stil have some pain but nothing compared to pre surgery. I'm doing weight resistance training three times a week which includes 36 deep squats each session. I might add that I had bariatric surgery a year prior to the first knee surgery and lost 125 pounds, which was definitely a huge plus in my knee replacement recovery.
Hope this helps ease your decision to go forward.
Janetr okc0 -
If I were still a married woman, today would be my 52nd wedding anniversary. On this day 52 years ago I weighed 128 pounds. Today I weigh 262. I have had gains and losses over the years but have never gotten out of the overweight status in the past 29 years. Today I set new goals on my MFP profile. I am no longer focusing on the huge amount of weight I need to eventually lose. Instead, I am looking to shed just 10% of my current weight. Otherwise, it's just too depressing.
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Carol in GA way to go. Doing happy dance with you. You can do this. Great big (((hugs))).
Janetr okc0 -
Nikion ~ Sounds like a good plan.
LJDW99 ~ I had cortisone shots and then the gel shots you get over a few weeks intervals. At first I felt a lot better but then it got back to same old same old. At this point, I put up with the pain and have good days and bad days. I really think the weather has a lot to do with it. My mom, sis, and bro have all had the knee surgery. I am hoping that I won't have too. Good luck and hope the shots do well for you.0 -
Pip what you missed is the pain of mental health issues.
Rather than drama I would like to think it is raising the awareness what a family goes through when a loved one suffers from mental health. It is in many ways no different than the pain you suffered when Kirby was injured on his bike and your shoulder injury. The difference is the treatments are more straight forward than they are when a mind is trying to heal.
Because of misunderstandings around Mental Health issues families and those suffering from it do not always get the proper treatment they need. It is like Kirby has his accident and you take him to the hospital to be told he is not hurt enough. Bring Kirby back when he is truly can no longer walk. This happens in the care of the mentally ill. The pain can be unbearable and others are at a loss to know how to help.
Miriam was just trying to bring light to the issue because of a word choice. Margaret 3 -
First time I have been here in over a month. Things just got out of control. My job is doing better and I am taking all the classes the offer to make sure I am doing things right.
Got my mom moved out of her house and settled into her new independant living apartment and she loves it. The church talked to her and my sister last time mom was in the hospital about buying the house. After all is said and cleaned out they are backing out. So put it on the market. Praying it sells fast.
Then mother's day weekend we were out visiting mom and drove over to Colorado and I ended up tripping in the parking lot of this park. Didn't see the speed bump and down I went. Fractured my wrist and cracked my elbow. Of course it is my right hand and I am learning I can not do much left handed.
My eating has been out of control and weigh in is tomorrow. So today I am getting back on track.I have missed you all and glad to be back. Thanks Barbie and DeeDee for the messages, helped more then you know. I will read back some but for the most part just going to start from here.
Blessings, Vicki Grand Island-NE2 -
lhannon062709 wrote: »
One question ... how do you get into the half bath?2 -
Vicki Grand Island-NEFirst time I have been here in over a month. Things just got out of control. My job is doing better and I am taking all the classes the offer to make sure I am doing things right.
Got my mom moved out of her house and settled into her new independant living apartment and she loves it. The church talked to her and my sister last time mom was in the hospital about buying the house. After all is said and cleaned out they are backing out. So put it on the market. Praying it sells fast.
Then mother's day weekend we were out visiting mom and drove over to Colorado and I ended up tripping in the parking lot of this park. Didn't see the speed bump and down I went. Fractured my wrist and cracked my elbow. Of course it is my right hand and I am learning I can not do much left handed.
My eating has been out of control and weigh in is tomorrow. So today I am getting back on track.I have missed you all and glad to be back. Thanks Barbie and DeeDee for the messages, helped more then you know. I will read back some but for the most part just going to start from here.
Blessings, Vicki Grand Island-NE
I was born in Imperial, NE! The Great Plains still have a claim on my heart. I am new to this thread and think it is great.
Karen in Virginia1 -
Karen in Virginia, my folks moved to Imperial after I was married the first time. They have been there over 40 years. That is where my mom lives. It is a small world. Welcome to this fantastic group of ladies.
Blessings, Vicki Grand Island-ne1 -
Karen in Virginia, my folks moved to Imperial after I was married the first time. They have been there over 40 years. That is where my mom lives. It is a small world. Welcome to this fantastic group of ladies.
Blessings, Vicki Grand Island-ne
@Vickil57 Vicki Grand Island-NE May I private message you?
Karen in Virginia0 -
margareturk - thanks for the explanation. I was plagued with depression and instability after loosing lenny. it was a drag fo sho! I remember it well. I have pretty thick skin so it would take a lot for me to be offended but if I was, I would let you know... loolol1
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Vicki - I am soooooooo pleased to see you. I was getting really worried about you until Barbie told us yout were still around. Sorry to hear about the fall. Don't go away again. Pleeeeeeze.
Heather UK
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Holy cow - you ladies were chatty this weekend!
Carol - Good for you! I love my glass of wine in the evening, and find it a very difficult habit to break. It's just the way I tell myself the work of the day is done, now I can relax. As my doctor said, it's not the wine that is the problem for me, it's the snacking that I do along with it.
We had a busy weekend and I didn't get the things on my to-do list done.
I'm trying to have the kids do their school work as independently as possible while I catch up on other things.
Today's plan -
get 12,000+ steps in
follow my diet plan
get caught up on grading
grocery shopping during #5's Boy Scout meeting tonight
take the boys clothing shopping... I learned the hard way yesterday that the only thing worse than taking the two teenage girls clothing shopping is bringing along their teenage brother.
Barb in Colorado
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If I were still a married woman, today would be my 52nd wedding anniversary. On this day 52 years ago I weighed 128 pounds. Today I weigh 262. I have had gains and losses over the years but have never gotten out of the overweight status in the past 29 years. Today I set new goals on my MFP profile. I am no longer focusing on the huge amount of weight I need to eventually lose. Instead, I am looking to shed just 10% of my current weight. Otherwise, it's just too depressing.
Good for you; breaking it down into goals that are easier to handle is a sound strategy.
I just weathered what would have been my 20th anniversary. I was unprepared for how hard that was. Lesson learned. Virtual hugs to you!
Larisa in Seattle1 -
Vicki NE - So so good to hear from you. Sorry that you have gone thru some rough times and the fall and injuries sound very painful. Big (((Hugs))), glad you're back.
Janetr OKC0
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