What's on your mind?

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Replies

  • KosmosKitten
    KosmosKitten Posts: 10,476 Member
    Bummed out, I guess. Realizing I have no support nearby, I'm always isolated, constantly moving, have a life I didn't want (circumstances in life sorta thing, not that I hate it). Realizing that being smart doesn't always guarantee you a better position in life.. really, it seems like money is the only thing that matters. You either have it or you don't.. and if you don't have it, there are very few who get the opportunity to do "hard work" to earn it. Most are born into it and maintain it like a dragon sitting atop a hoard.

    I know, depressing thoughts.. pessimistic and possibly not true, but in my experience, that is definitely the case. Hopefully, your mileage varies from mine.

    I can relate, to a degree. As time moves along I'm realizing blood really isn't always thicker than water. I'm constantly in isolation due to my job, always on the move, have a life I'm not too crazy about although I try to stop and think about the fact I still have it better than many. I'm not the brightest guy but am fortunate enough to have been making good money lately. I've been wondering if the constant isolation I put myself through in order to obtain that money is even worth it anymore. My youth is passing me by...

    Pretty sure my youth already passed me by awhile ago and I'm SoL. The potential I had is long gone.

    You're not that old. At one point several years ago I hit a fork in the road where I could have chosen happiness with some financial struggle (although the financial struggle may not have persisted forever), or immediate financial relief with the higher paying field I'm currently in. If I could have a re-do, I'd go with happiness. Sure, I've been making good money. But I'm a happier because of it? No.

    I don't really want the money (although it would be nice to not have debt all the time to pay off); I'd settle for a modicum of happiness and not the fleeting memory it seems to be.

    And physically, I may not be that old.. but mentally, I am ancient. I just hide it quite well most days. I think I'm having a very off day today. Such is life with clinical depression, I suppose.

    Only in my late twenties but lately I've been feeling like I've already seen just about everything there is to see. Some days it just feels like I'm going through the motions. I'll be brutally honest. Lately I've even been having suicidal thoughts. I'm not saying that to gain sympathy from anybody. I just really do sometimes feel like I've already seen just about everything there is to see, and going through the motions seems a bit bland. I'm not crazy enough to go through with it I'm just in a bit of a funk myself right now. You're miserable. I'm miserable. Let's go to the bar and be miserable together. Drinks on me if you feel like coming out.

    And by the way, if there's anybody else out here in the forums have been having such crazy thoughts, please don't do anything crazy. Emotions are like a f****** roller coaster. One day you might be down there now, the next day you might be feeling like a million bucks. Just gotta ride that s*** out.

    You can talk to me about them if you feel comfortable doing so in DMs. I've had many a suicidal thought and have unfortunately acted on them more than once when I was in my early 20s. And yet, here I remain. Things are better now than they were then and life is a bit more stable, but the thoughts are always there. Sometimes louder on some days than others.
  • Unknown
    edited November 2019
    This content has been removed.
  • Unknown
    edited November 2019
    This content has been removed.
  • KosmosKitten
    KosmosKitten Posts: 10,476 Member
    Bummed out, I guess. Realizing I have no support nearby, I'm always isolated, constantly moving, have a life I didn't want (circumstances in life sorta thing, not that I hate it). Realizing that being smart doesn't always guarantee you a better position in life.. really, it seems like money is the only thing that matters. You either have it or you don't.. and if you don't have it, there are very few who get the opportunity to do "hard work" to earn it. Most are born into it and maintain it like a dragon sitting atop a hoard.

    I know, depressing thoughts.. pessimistic and possibly not true, but in my experience, that is definitely the case. Hopefully, your mileage varies from mine.

    I can relate, to a degree. As time moves along I'm realizing blood really isn't always thicker than water. I'm constantly in isolation due to my job, always on the move, have a life I'm not too crazy about although I try to stop and think about the fact I still have it better than many. I'm not the brightest guy but am fortunate enough to have been making good money lately. I've been wondering if the constant isolation I put myself through in order to obtain that money is even worth it anymore. My youth is passing me by...

    Pretty sure my youth already passed me by awhile ago and I'm SoL. The potential I had is long gone.

    You're not that old. At one point several years ago I hit a fork in the road where I could have chosen happiness with some financial struggle (although the financial struggle may not have persisted forever), or immediate financial relief with the higher paying field I'm currently in. If I could have a re-do, I'd go with happiness. Sure, I've been making good money. But I'm a happier because of it? No.

    I don't really want the money (although it would be nice to not have debt all the time to pay off); I'd settle for a modicum of happiness and not the fleeting memory it seems to be.

    And physically, I may not be that old.. but mentally, I am ancient. I just hide it quite well most days. I think I'm having a very off day today. Such is life with clinical depression, I suppose.

    Only in my late twenties but lately I've been feeling like I've already seen just about everything there is to see. Some days it just feels like I'm going through the motions. I'll be brutally honest. Lately I've even been having suicidal thoughts. I'm not saying that to gain sympathy from anybody. I just really do sometimes feel like I've already seen just about everything there is to see, and going through the motions seems a bit bland. I'm not crazy enough to go through with it I'm just in a bit of a funk myself right now. You're miserable. I'm miserable. Let's go to the bar and be miserable together. Drinks on me if you feel like coming out.

    And by the way, if there's anybody else out here in the forums have been having such crazy thoughts, please don't do anything crazy. Emotions are like a f****** roller coaster. One day you might be down there now, the next day you might be feeling like a million bucks. Just gotta ride that s*** out.

    You can talk to me about them if you feel comfortable doing so in DMs. I've had many a suicidal thought and have unfortunately acted on them more than once when I was in my early 20s. And yet, here I remain. Things are better now than they were then and life is a bit more stable, but the thoughts are always there. Sometimes louder on some days than others.

    I think it just might be one of those moments like from Fight Club, Brad Pitt's character is talking about how he got into a job and comes back to his dad again and asks "now what?"

    I think I'm just sort of floundering through life right now. I need to set myself some goals and work towards them to feel like I have purpose.

    Making decent money is fine, but unless if I have a higher goal in the bigger picture, I guess I just feel like a turd floating down a river.

    Goals are great, just make sure they are obtainable and don't be crushed when things don't go according to plan. I made the mistake of being idealistic and overly optimistic in mine early on and well, we see where that's gone.

    Sustainable goals: that's the key.

    Honestly? I only manage because I make lists of everything. If I want it to get done (even something like "dishes") I have to write it down. :(

    Last message on this, since we are hijacking this thread. Lists are great. I need to start practicing that rather than trying to memorize different things I need to get done. Also understand that we can't always control which emotions come and go. Thoughts also come and go, but it's important that we don't entertain every single thought that comes. The bad ones shall pass. Hang in there :)

    Fine, fine. What's on my mind? This glass of wine. Ironically, I am drinking it while watching Bojack Horseman, a show about a horseman who ends up in worlds of trouble due to his *kitten* attitude and reliance on alcohol to fix everything.
  • Deadman_Diggingup
    Deadman_Diggingup Posts: 3,082 Member
    It sure would be nice to have friends over for a buzz and conversation like the old days.

    I miss that so much. I didn’t appreciate it at the time

    I agree. It’s probably been a decade since I’ve sat with old friends to talk about old times.
  • Motorsheen
    Motorsheen Posts: 20,508 Member
    It sure would be nice to have friends over for a buzz and conversation like the old days.

    I miss that so much. I didn’t appreciate it at the time

    I agree. It’s probably been a decade since I’ve sat with old friends to talk about old times.

    I did so this last Summer down at the beach in Mexico; it was pretty great.
  • cdubks88
    cdubks88 Posts: 3,573 Member
    bojack5 wrote: »
    Oddly enough one of the things i remember about Marine Corp boot camp was not being able to say those words. When speaking you had to address yourself as, this private, or this recruit. There were severe penalties for saying i or my.

    Meant to say it earlier and wanted to make sure and circle back to say thank you for your service.

    Hope you have a great weekend!
  • This content has been removed.
  • _sw33tp3a_11
    _sw33tp3a_11 Posts: 4,692 Member
    I'm going to be hurting tomorrow... I mean, today....
  • mtndewme
    mtndewme Posts: 724 Member
    I spent almost an hour trying to buy a makeup pallet starting from the moment it dropped. The website kept crashing but I finally got through. Or so I thought. I never received the confirmation email so now I’m kind of bummed out but still hopeful that they are just taking forever to fix everything. It’s sold out so I’m sol if it didn’t go through. 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
  • laprimaJenny
    laprimaJenny Posts: 1,495 Member
    IslandGal3 wrote: »
    My Dad is driving 8 hours tomorrow. I worry when he travels alone.

    I hope all goes well. ❤️
  • laprimaJenny
    laprimaJenny Posts: 1,495 Member
    Friends, family, it don't matter the nature of the relationship; if ya want more than companionship, at some point it will fail to last.

    I’m confused to as why someone would want more. Companionship is by far more intimate, than romance or friendship. It’s about true connection. Anything less then that is about convenience.
  • your_future_ex_wife
    your_future_ex_wife Posts: 4,278 Member
    I don’t want to be around when that guy finally snaps.
  • Unknown
    edited November 2019
    This content has been removed.
  • KosmosKitten
    KosmosKitten Posts: 10,476 Member
    I don’t want to be around when that guy finally snaps.

    Just give him a Snickers and make a run for it. Head start, yo. :lol:
  • your_future_ex_wife
    your_future_ex_wife Posts: 4,278 Member
    I don’t want to be around when that guy finally snaps.

    Just give him a Snickers and make a run for it. Head start, yo. :lol:

    I like the way you think
  • KosmosKitten
    KosmosKitten Posts: 10,476 Member
    1sphere wrote: »
    Bummed out, I guess. Realizing I have no support nearby, I'm always isolated, constantly moving, have a life I didn't want (circumstances in life sorta thing, not that I hate it). Realizing that being smart doesn't always guarantee you a better position in life.. really, it seems like money is the only thing that matters. You either have it or you don't.. and if you don't have it, there are very few who get the opportunity to do "hard work" to earn it. Most are born into it and maintain it like a dragon sitting atop a hoard.

    I know, depressing thoughts.. pessimistic and possibly not true, but in my experience, that is definitely the case. Hopefully, your mileage varies from mine.

    I can relate, to a degree. As time moves along I'm realizing blood really isn't always thicker than water. I'm constantly in isolation due to my job, always on the move, have a life I'm not too crazy about although I try to stop and think about the fact I still have it better than many. I'm not the brightest guy but am fortunate enough to have been making good money lately. I've been wondering if the constant isolation I put myself through in order to obtain that money is even worth it anymore. My youth is passing me by...

    Pretty sure my youth already passed me by awhile ago and I'm SoL. The potential I had is long gone.

    You're not that old. At one point several years ago I hit a fork in the road where I could have chosen happiness with some financial struggle (although the financial struggle may not have persisted forever), or immediate financial relief with the higher paying field I'm currently in. If I could have a re-do, I'd go with happiness. Sure, I've been making good money. But I'm a happier because of it? No.

    I don't really want the money (although it would be nice to not have debt all the time to pay off); I'd settle for a modicum of happiness and not the fleeting memory it seems to be.

    And physically, I may not be that old.. but mentally, I am ancient. I just hide it quite well most days. I think I'm having a very off day today. Such is life with clinical depression, I suppose.

    Only in my late twenties but lately I've been feeling like I've already seen just about everything there is to see. Some days it just feels like I'm going through the motions. I'll be brutally honest. Lately I've even been having suicidal thoughts. I'm not saying that to gain sympathy from anybody. I just really do sometimes feel like I've already seen just about everything there is to see, and going through the motions seems a bit bland. I'm not crazy enough to go through with it I'm just in a bit of a funk myself right now. You're miserable. I'm miserable. Let's go to the bar and be miserable together. Drinks on me if you feel like coming out.

    And by the way, if there's anybody else out here in the forums have been having such crazy thoughts, please don't do anything crazy. Emotions are like a f****** roller coaster. One day you might be down there now, the next day you might be feeling like a million bucks. Just gotta ride that s*** out.

    You can talk to me about them if you feel comfortable doing so in DMs. I've had many a suicidal thought and have unfortunately acted on them more than once when I was in my early 20s. And yet, here I remain. Things are better now than they were then and life is a bit more stable, but the thoughts are always there. Sometimes louder on some days than others.

    I think it just might be one of those moments like from Fight Club, Brad Pitt's character is talking about how he got into a job and comes back to his dad again and asks "now what?"

    I think I'm just sort of floundering through life right now. I need to set myself some goals and work towards them to feel like I have purpose.

    Making decent money is fine, but unless if I have a higher goal in the bigger picture, I guess I just feel like a turd floating down a river.
    that’s what u indeed should do, Ive had plenty of “suicidal” days. I see it as a life lesson that I’m not doing good for myself. Become engaged in something, so your thinking won’t be critical. Don’t focus on eventual outcomes, just focus on the steps (that’s how you become engaged).
    I researched into this, if you’re interested look up “the four states of mind”.
    1sphere wrote: »
    Bummed out, I guess. Realizing I have no support nearby, I'm always isolated, constantly moving, have a life I didn't want (circumstances in life sorta thing, not that I hate it). Realizing that being smart doesn't always guarantee you a better position in life.. really, it seems like money is the only thing that matters. You either have it or you don't.. and if you don't have it, there are very few who get the opportunity to do "hard work" to earn it. Most are born into it and maintain it like a dragon sitting atop a hoard.

    I know, depressing thoughts.. pessimistic and possibly not true, but in my experience, that is definitely the case. Hopefully, your mileage varies from mine.

    I can relate, to a degree. As time moves along I'm realizing blood really isn't always thicker than water. I'm constantly in isolation due to my job, always on the move, have a life I'm not too crazy about although I try to stop and think about the fact I still have it better than many. I'm not the brightest guy but am fortunate enough to have been making good money lately. I've been wondering if the constant isolation I put myself through in order to obtain that money is even worth it anymore. My youth is passing me by...

    Pretty sure my youth already passed me by awhile ago and I'm SoL. The potential I had is long gone.

    You're not that old. At one point several years ago I hit a fork in the road where I could have chosen happiness with some financial struggle (although the financial struggle may not have persisted forever), or immediate financial relief with the higher paying field I'm currently in. If I could have a re-do, I'd go with happiness. Sure, I've been making good money. But I'm a happier because of it? No.

    I don't really want the money (although it would be nice to not have debt all the time to pay off); I'd settle for a modicum of happiness and not the fleeting memory it seems to be.

    And physically, I may not be that old.. but mentally, I am ancient. I just hide it quite well most days. I think I'm having a very off day today. Such is life with clinical depression, I suppose.

    Only in my late twenties but lately I've been feeling like I've already seen just about everything there is to see. Some days it just feels like I'm going through the motions. I'll be brutally honest. Lately I've even been having suicidal thoughts. I'm not saying that to gain sympathy from anybody. I just really do sometimes feel like I've already seen just about everything there is to see, and going through the motions seems a bit bland. I'm not crazy enough to go through with it I'm just in a bit of a funk myself right now. You're miserable. I'm miserable. Let's go to the bar and be miserable together. Drinks on me if you feel like coming out.

    And by the way, if there's anybody else out here in the forums have been having such crazy thoughts, please don't do anything crazy. Emotions are like a f****** roller coaster. One day you might be down there now, the next day you might be feeling like a million bucks. Just gotta ride that s*** out.

    You can talk to me about them if you feel comfortable doing so in DMs. I've had many a suicidal thought and have unfortunately acted on them more than once when I was in my early 20s. And yet, here I remain. Things are better now than they were then and life is a bit more stable, but the thoughts are always there. Sometimes louder on some days than others.

    I think it just might be one of those moments like from Fight Club, Brad Pitt's character is talking about how he got into a job and comes back to his dad again and asks "now what?"

    I think I'm just sort of floundering through life right now. I need to set myself some goals and work towards them to feel like I have purpose.

    Making decent money is fine, but unless if I have a higher goal in the bigger picture, I guess I just feel like a turd floating down a river.
    that’s what u indeed should do, Ive had plenty of “suicidal” days. I see it as a life lesson that I’m not doing good for myself. Become engaged in something, so your thinking won’t be critical. Don’t focus on eventual outcomes, just focus on the steps (that’s how you become engaged).
    I researched into this, if you’re interested look up “the four states of mind”.

    This is also used to calm people down from panic attacks. You focus your energy on observing the things around you, focusing on steps to calming down and recognizing why a panic attack happens (a trigger, if you will). And for a lot of us, it does work. But you gotta get in that state of mind first and that's the hard step the first time around.
  • _Miss_chievous_
    _Miss_chievous_ Posts: 2,765 Member
    I found these at the store...and it made morning 😂 it's the little things.
    ds5b00f974is.jpg
  • Deadman_Diggingup
    Deadman_Diggingup Posts: 3,082 Member
    I found these at the store...and it made morning 😂 it's the little things.
    ds5b00f974is.jpg

    I miss Bob. What a treasure he was.
  • caco_ethes
    caco_ethes Posts: 11,962 Member
    edited November 2019
    @mtndewme wrote: »
    I spent almost an hour trying to buy a makeup pallet starting from the moment it dropped. The website kept crashing but I finally got through. Or so I thought. I never received the confirmation email so now I’m kind of bummed out but still hopeful that they are just taking forever to fix everything. It’s sold out so I’m sol if it didn’t go through. 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

    Well? Didja get a confirmation email? I saw somewhere that the website was only capable of handling 10,000 customers per MINUTE and that’s why it kept crashing 😮

    Edit: also i saw tons of comments on his post that people were buying it to support him but probably wouldn’t use it for one reason or another. Whyyy buy it at the launch? Why not give it a minute to see if it flies off the shelves? Sheesh
  • George_of_the_Jungle
    George_of_the_Jungle Posts: 3,316 Member
    I found these at the store...and it made morning 😂 it's the little things.
    ds5b00f974is.jpg

    I miss Bob. What a treasure he was.

    Agreed.
  • George_of_the_Jungle
    George_of_the_Jungle Posts: 3,316 Member
    y’all ever wake up ready to do big spring clean out your closet and like an hour into it u shopping for new boots online

    It's like the circle of life for your closet mess 😂
  • Motorsheen
    Motorsheen Posts: 20,508 Member
    y’all ever wake up ready to do big spring clean out your closet and like an hour into it u shopping for new boots online

    I'm the absolute worst at this.

    Cleaning out the closet.....

    How long should I keep a t-shirt?


    5 years? 10?

    Longer ????
  • honeybee__12
    honeybee__12 Posts: 15,688 Member
    Now that I’ve had to get back to losing weight,
    (what an idiot for eating what I lost back), all I think about is food. Food, food, food.