What's on your mind?

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  • CaliValleyGirl
    CaliValleyGirl Posts: 744 Member
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    Lost my head after a day of shopping. I tried to open my own door and got my head bitten off. "DON'T YOU TOUCH THAT DOOR! I HAVE ONE JOB IN LIFE!".

    Ok! ok!

  • KosmosKitten
    KosmosKitten Posts: 10,476 Member
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    Bummed out, I guess. Realizing I have no support nearby, I'm always isolated, constantly moving, have a life I didn't want (circumstances in life sorta thing, not that I hate it). Realizing that being smart doesn't always guarantee you a better position in life.. really, it seems like money is the only thing that matters. You either have it or you don't.. and if you don't have it, there are very few who get the opportunity to do "hard work" to earn it. Most are born into it and maintain it like a dragon sitting atop a hoard.

    I know, depressing thoughts.. pessimistic and possibly not true, but in my experience, that is definitely the case. Hopefully, your mileage varies from mine.

    I can relate, to a degree. As time moves along I'm realizing blood really isn't always thicker than water. I'm constantly in isolation due to my job, always on the move, have a life I'm not too crazy about although I try to stop and think about the fact I still have it better than many. I'm not the brightest guy but am fortunate enough to have been making good money lately. I've been wondering if the constant isolation I put myself through in order to obtain that money is even worth it anymore. My youth is passing me by...

    Pretty sure my youth already passed me by awhile ago and I'm SoL. The potential I had is long gone.
  • your_future_ex_wife
    your_future_ex_wife Posts: 4,278 Member
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    Take me in, tender woman. Take me in for heaven’s sake.
  • KosmosKitten
    KosmosKitten Posts: 10,476 Member
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    Bummed out, I guess. Realizing I have no support nearby, I'm always isolated, constantly moving, have a life I didn't want (circumstances in life sorta thing, not that I hate it). Realizing that being smart doesn't always guarantee you a better position in life.. really, it seems like money is the only thing that matters. You either have it or you don't.. and if you don't have it, there are very few who get the opportunity to do "hard work" to earn it. Most are born into it and maintain it like a dragon sitting atop a hoard.

    I know, depressing thoughts.. pessimistic and possibly not true, but in my experience, that is definitely the case. Hopefully, your mileage varies from mine.

    I can relate, to a degree. As time moves along I'm realizing blood really isn't always thicker than water. I'm constantly in isolation due to my job, always on the move, have a life I'm not too crazy about although I try to stop and think about the fact I still have it better than many. I'm not the brightest guy but am fortunate enough to have been making good money lately. I've been wondering if the constant isolation I put myself through in order to obtain that money is even worth it anymore. My youth is passing me by...

    Pretty sure my youth already passed me by awhile ago and I'm SoL. The potential I had is long gone.

    You're not that old. At one point several years ago I hit a fork in the road where I could have chosen happiness with some financial struggle (although the financial struggle may not have persisted forever), or immediate financial relief with the higher paying field I'm currently in. If I could have a re-do, I'd go with happiness. Sure, I've been making good money. But I'm a happier because of it? No.

    I don't really want the money (although it would be nice to not have debt all the time to pay off); I'd settle for a modicum of happiness and not the fleeting memory it seems to be.

    And physically, I may not be that old.. but mentally, I am ancient. I just hide it quite well most days. I think I'm having a very off day today. Such is life with clinical depression, I suppose.

    Only in my late twenties but lately I've been feeling like I've already seen just about everything there is to see. Some days it just feels like I'm going through the motions. I'll be brutally honest. Lately I've even been having suicidal thoughts. I'm not saying that to gain sympathy from anybody. I just really do sometimes feel like I've already seen just about everything there is to see, and going through the motions seems a bit bland. I'm not crazy enough to go through with it I'm just in a bit of a funk myself right now. You're miserable. I'm miserable. Let's go to the bar and be miserable together. Drinks on me if you feel like coming out.

    And by the way, if there's anybody else out here in the forums have been having such crazy thoughts, please don't do anything crazy. Emotions are like a f****** roller coaster. One day you might be down there now, the next day you might be feeling like a million bucks. Just gotta ride that s*** out.

    You can talk to me about them if you feel comfortable doing so in DMs. I've had many a suicidal thought and have unfortunately acted on them more than once when I was in my early 20s. And yet, here I remain. Things are better now than they were then and life is a bit more stable, but the thoughts are always there. Sometimes louder on some days than others.
  • KosmosKitten
    KosmosKitten Posts: 10,476 Member
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    Bummed out, I guess. Realizing I have no support nearby, I'm always isolated, constantly moving, have a life I didn't want (circumstances in life sorta thing, not that I hate it). Realizing that being smart doesn't always guarantee you a better position in life.. really, it seems like money is the only thing that matters. You either have it or you don't.. and if you don't have it, there are very few who get the opportunity to do "hard work" to earn it. Most are born into it and maintain it like a dragon sitting atop a hoard.

    I know, depressing thoughts.. pessimistic and possibly not true, but in my experience, that is definitely the case. Hopefully, your mileage varies from mine.

    I can relate, to a degree. As time moves along I'm realizing blood really isn't always thicker than water. I'm constantly in isolation due to my job, always on the move, have a life I'm not too crazy about although I try to stop and think about the fact I still have it better than many. I'm not the brightest guy but am fortunate enough to have been making good money lately. I've been wondering if the constant isolation I put myself through in order to obtain that money is even worth it anymore. My youth is passing me by...

    Pretty sure my youth already passed me by awhile ago and I'm SoL. The potential I had is long gone.

    You're not that old. At one point several years ago I hit a fork in the road where I could have chosen happiness with some financial struggle (although the financial struggle may not have persisted forever), or immediate financial relief with the higher paying field I'm currently in. If I could have a re-do, I'd go with happiness. Sure, I've been making good money. But I'm a happier because of it? No.

    I don't really want the money (although it would be nice to not have debt all the time to pay off); I'd settle for a modicum of happiness and not the fleeting memory it seems to be.

    And physically, I may not be that old.. but mentally, I am ancient. I just hide it quite well most days. I think I'm having a very off day today. Such is life with clinical depression, I suppose.

    Only in my late twenties but lately I've been feeling like I've already seen just about everything there is to see. Some days it just feels like I'm going through the motions. I'll be brutally honest. Lately I've even been having suicidal thoughts. I'm not saying that to gain sympathy from anybody. I just really do sometimes feel like I've already seen just about everything there is to see, and going through the motions seems a bit bland. I'm not crazy enough to go through with it I'm just in a bit of a funk myself right now. You're miserable. I'm miserable. Let's go to the bar and be miserable together. Drinks on me if you feel like coming out.

    And by the way, if there's anybody else out here in the forums have been having such crazy thoughts, please don't do anything crazy. Emotions are like a f****** roller coaster. One day you might be down there now, the next day you might be feeling like a million bucks. Just gotta ride that s*** out.

    You can talk to me about them if you feel comfortable doing so in DMs. I've had many a suicidal thought and have unfortunately acted on them more than once when I was in my early 20s. And yet, here I remain. Things are better now than they were then and life is a bit more stable, but the thoughts are always there. Sometimes louder on some days than others.

    I think it just might be one of those moments like from Fight Club, Brad Pitt's character is talking about how he got into a job and comes back to his dad again and asks "now what?"

    I think I'm just sort of floundering through life right now. I need to set myself some goals and work towards them to feel like I have purpose.

    Making decent money is fine, but unless if I have a higher goal in the bigger picture, I guess I just feel like a turd floating down a river.

    Goals are great, just make sure they are obtainable and don't be crushed when things don't go according to plan. I made the mistake of being idealistic and overly optimistic in mine early on and well, we see where that's gone.

    Sustainable goals: that's the key.

    Honestly? I only manage because I make lists of everything. If I want it to get done (even something like "dishes") I have to write it down. :(

    Last message on this, since we are hijacking this thread. Lists are great. I need to start practicing that rather than trying to memorize different things I need to get done. Also understand that we can't always control which emotions come and go. Thoughts also come and go, but it's important that we don't entertain every single thought that comes. The bad ones shall pass. Hang in there :)

    Fine, fine. What's on my mind? This glass of wine. Ironically, I am drinking it while watching Bojack Horseman, a show about a horseman who ends up in worlds of trouble due to his *kitten* attitude and reliance on alcohol to fix everything.
  • Deadman_Diggingup
    Deadman_Diggingup Posts: 3,082 Member
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    It sure would be nice to have friends over for a buzz and conversation like the old days.

    I miss that so much. I didn’t appreciate it at the time

    I agree. It’s probably been a decade since I’ve sat with old friends to talk about old times.
  • Motorsheen
    Motorsheen Posts: 20,492 Member
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    It sure would be nice to have friends over for a buzz and conversation like the old days.

    I miss that so much. I didn’t appreciate it at the time

    I agree. It’s probably been a decade since I’ve sat with old friends to talk about old times.

    I did so this last Summer down at the beach in Mexico; it was pretty great.
  • cdubks88
    cdubks88 Posts: 3,573 Member
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    bojack5 wrote: »
    Oddly enough one of the things i remember about Marine Corp boot camp was not being able to say those words. When speaking you had to address yourself as, this private, or this recruit. There were severe penalties for saying i or my.

    Meant to say it earlier and wanted to make sure and circle back to say thank you for your service.

    Hope you have a great weekend!
  • _sw33tp3a_11
    _sw33tp3a_11 Posts: 4,692 Member
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    I'm going to be hurting tomorrow... I mean, today....
  • mtndewme
    mtndewme Posts: 724 Member
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    I spent almost an hour trying to buy a makeup pallet starting from the moment it dropped. The website kept crashing but I finally got through. Or so I thought. I never received the confirmation email so now I’m kind of bummed out but still hopeful that they are just taking forever to fix everything. It’s sold out so I’m sol if it didn’t go through. 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭