What's on your mind?
Replies
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KickassAmazon76 wrote: »I'm literally such a crap friend lately, I just feel like I don't even have the energy 🥺
If you mean here on mfp, the one thing I can say is that the beauty of mfp is the fact that no matter when you come on, you can almost always find someone who cares. What that means is that the pressure of being a really good friend is lessened, because we all share the load. It's ok to take a step back and take care of yourself... Or better yet... Lean on some of the people you've been supporting til now.
We all go through valleys. Sometimes our job is to shine the light to help other people find their way through. Sometimes our job is to shine our light to find our own way (and others may very well follow). And sometimes our job is to look for the light others shine, when our own power has run out.
Feel free to lean on others' power from time to time, I can guarantee that your friends won't mind in the least. ❤️
Where do you find these words? Is there a book? You have such eloquence and feeling, kindness and goodness in your heart.
And @tams_89 Good people are patient, they worry about you, they're not going to cast you off because you're in one of those valleys. Be as kind and gentle to yourself as you would be to a best friend going through these feelings. Most important thing for you right now is to get your feet planted back firmly on the ground by taking care of YOU. PLEASE don't add more stress/anxiety onto your shoulders by worrying about how you're treating your friends. Real friends understand, real friends will want to be your post for you to lean on and to help you carry your burdens. Lean on your friends. 3 -
_sw33tp3a_11 wrote: »Is there any way to remove all your selfies from this forum or are you just kinda screwed and your face stays here forever and ever?
You're not leaving are you??2 -
HerNameIsMischief wrote: »I've been thinking about dating a lot. I can't do it now, but what worries me is that I've never had a girlfriend before and I don't want to tell a future girlfriend that because she'll assume there's something wrong with me.
Everyone has to have a first time. Otherwise no one would have any experiences whatsoever 🤷🏿♀️
Go get 'em, 🐯!3 -
HerNameIsMischief wrote: »I've been thinking about dating a lot. I can't do it now, but what worries me is that I've never had a girlfriend before and I don't want to tell a future girlfriend that because she'll assume there's something wrong with me.
Everyone has to have a first time. Otherwise no one would have any experiences whatsoever 🤷🏿♀️
Go get 'em, 🐯!
Yup. I prefer a man who isn’t promiscuous.1 -
Yes, but most people are going to be suspicious about someone who has reached this age without a long-term relationship. It also puts me in an unfavorable position regarding arguments...it'll be pretty easy for her to shut me down by saying "Well, you don't understand because you don't have any experience being in a relationship." I don't want to outright lie, but I think that coming right out and telling someone the truth is not a good idea.
It's a moot point for now. I don't want to date until I lose weight anyway.0 -
One my mind: Crohns cramps. Ugh8
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Kashmir_314_ wrote: »Wondering where that thread kosmo posted in...the one with the video game....twitchy, where'd it go??
Say it don’t say it1 -
HerNameIsMischief wrote: »Yes, but most people are going to be suspicious about someone who has reached this age without a long-term relationship. It also puts me in an unfavorable position regarding arguments...it'll be pretty easy for her to shut me down by saying "Well, you don't understand because you don't have any experience being in a relationship." I don't want to outright lie, but I think that coming right out and telling someone the truth is not a good idea.
It's a moot point for now. I don't want to date until I lose weight anyway.
Well i will tell you this, coming from a guy who dated TOO much. Its better to be a person looking for that first good relationship, than be the jerk that cannot be taken seriously because he dated too much and committed to nothing. You need to change your mindset on who you are, not what you look like. Once you are all in on you, the physical things will change. Doing it the other way around doesnt work so well. Do things everyday that you believe are difficult but rewarding. Even if its just getting up early, or learning the guitar.....it doesnt have to be about weight loss. I promise you that will come as a by product. And dating isnt only for the ultimate physically fit people. It pretty much is universal for every type of person. I wish you luck in finding your groove 👍6 -
I'm glad to hear this and a part of me takes pride in the fact that I haven't been one of those people who HAS to be dating someone all the time to bolster their ego. Also, my body image issues have been so severe that I've avoided dating because I knew chances were excellent it would ruin the relationship.
I'm still not dating till I lose weight. More people would be open to dating me if I looked better and I really don't want someone to find me attractive the way I am right now.2 -
HerNameIsMischief wrote: »Yes, but most people are going to be suspicious about someone who has reached this age without a long-term relationship. It also puts me in an unfavorable position regarding arguments...it'll be pretty easy for her to shut me down by saying "Well, you don't understand because you don't have any experience being in a relationship." I don't want to outright lie, but I think that coming right out and telling someone the truth is not a good idea.
It's a moot point for now. I don't want to date until I lose weight anyway.
Well i will tell you this, coming from a guy who dated TOO much. Its better to be a person looking for that first good relationship, than be the jerk that cannot be taken seriously because he dated too much and committed to nothing. You need to change your mindset on who you are, not what you look like. Once you are all in on you, the physical things will change. Doing it the other way around doesnt work so well. Do things everyday that you believe are difficult but rewarding. Even if its just getting up early, or learning the guitar.....it doesnt have to be about weight loss. I promise you that will come as a by product. And dating isnt only for the ultimate physically fit people. It pretty much is universal for every type of person. I wish you luck in finding your groove 👍
You are pretty awesome. Just sayin.3 -
HerNameIsMischief wrote: »I'm glad to hear this and a part of me takes pride in the fact that I haven't been one of those people who HAS to be dating someone all the time to bolster their ego. Also, my body image issues have been so severe that I've avoided dating because I knew chances were excellent it would ruin the relationship.
I'm still not dating till I lose weight. More people would be open to dating me if I looked better and I really don't want someone to find me attractive the way I am right now.
People will be attracted to confidence, no matter what the size. I have seen some very large people be the ones desired by all because they knew what they were worth, and they showed it. People wanted to be around that and with that. And also, because they loved themself as is, they were not afraid of intimacy.
There are many thin people who are not nearly as attractive because they hate themselves. Getting thin or in better shape doesn't automatically make you fall in love with yourself. It helps, a bit... But if the problem is rooted in your self esteem, you will always find things that are wrong with you no matter what size.
Trust me.. I struggle with insecurity every damn day. And it can be a real turn off. I would encourage you to take some time on this "journey" you are on to really look inside. Working on the mental picture you have of yourself will do far more benefit to a future relationship than having a banging body will. Again... I know this.
You are loveable as you are. Right now. Your skin suit is not where your value lies. And any person worth being in a relationship with you would see that. You need to see it too.
Biggest hugs.4 -
@ReenieHJ thank you. ❤️ I don't know where it comes from. But sometimes I get these images /visuals in my head when someone shares something, and I just try to describe what I see.4
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HerNameIsMischief wrote: »Yes, but most people are going to be suspicious about someone who has reached this age without a long-term relationship. It also puts me in an unfavorable position regarding arguments...it'll be pretty easy for her to shut me down by saying "Well, you don't understand because you don't have any experience being in a relationship." I don't want to outright lie, but I think that coming right out and telling someone the truth is not a good idea.
It's a moot point for now. I don't want to date until I lose weight anyway.
You wouldn't want to be in a relationship with a person who argues with you in that way, anyway. It's emotionally abusive and incredibly dismissive. IE. Not a healthy relationship.
I've been with men who weren't experienced in relationships (and they've all been older than I was) and honestly, most of them learn pretty fast and weren't bad relationships at all, we just weren't compatible in the end. Their lack of experience isn't what ended the relationship, though.
Also, almost all of the men I've been in relationships with were not at peak physical fitness (whatever that is). They were, however, all fairly confident, funny and passionate about something (or several somethings). Mentioning this because everyone seems to think that physical attractiveness (IE. being fit or thin) are the only determinants for a relationship when there are several of us out there whose "type" isn't the standard you see in media.
**shrugs** Just gotta find the right person.. and they're out there.
But there's nothing wrong with working on improving yourself because you want to, be that mentally, physically or emotionally. You do you. 7 -
A crush only lasts four months.
Supposedly2 -
twitchandshout wrote: »A crush only lasts four months.
Supposedly
Lucky you, I lose a crush every time there is a post in the dad bob thread3 -
happimess01 wrote: »twitchandshout wrote: »A crush only lasts four months.
Supposedly
Lucky you, I lose a crush every time there is a post in the dad bob thread
supposedly2 -
Kashmir_314_ wrote: »twitchandshout wrote: »A crush only lasts four months.
Supposedly
Is this Science? What if it's like 3 years?
luv1 -
_sw33tp3a_11 wrote: »Is there any way to remove all your selfies from this forum or are you just kinda screwed and your face stays here forever and ever?
FYI, the internet is pretty much forever, not just MFP.
There are archiving sites like the wayback machine and whatnot that preserve pages every day. So even if we delete here and now, a search later might still pull up an archive of your lovely face.
In terms of your posts, feel free to report them and report any quotes with your image, but please try to limit to about 20 requests a day. Otherwise it can be overwhelming for mods to deal with the number of reports we receive. 3 -
twitchandshout wrote: »A crush only lasts four months.
Supposedly
I dunno..... I've had one on a pretty good run & it's longer than four months; it damn sure is.6 -
Let's get naked and start the revolution.5
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Kashmir_314_ wrote: »twitchandshout wrote: »A crush only lasts four months.
Supposedly
Is this Science? What if it's like 3 years?
I’ve been here 3 years.
Coincidence?
I think not.6 -
Kashmir_314_ wrote: »Motorsheen wrote: »twitchandshout wrote: »A crush only lasts four months.
Supposedly
I dunno..... I've had one on a pretty good run & it's longer than four months; it damn sure is.
Tell me more...
Ha. Like you don't already know. 2 -
Motorsheen wrote: »twitchandshout wrote: »A crush only lasts four months.
Supposedly
I dunno..... I've had one on a pretty good run & it's longer than four months; it damn sure is.
Idk. I’m a grey piece of lint.0 -
Motorsheen wrote: »A crush only lasts four months.
Supposedly
I dunno..... I've had one on a pretty good run & it's longer than four months; it damn sure is.
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KosmosKitten wrote: »Also, almost all of the men I've been in relationships with were not at peak physical fitness (whatever that is). They were, however, all fairly confident, funny and passionate about something (or several somethings). Mentioning this because everyone seems to think that physical attractiveness (IE. being fit or thin) are the only determinants for a relationship when there are several of us out there whose "type" isn't the standard you see in media
Yes, but I don't want to date someone who would see me now and deem me her type. That would just make me feel worse about myself.
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HerNameIsMischief wrote: »KosmosKitten wrote: »Also, almost all of the men I've been in relationships with were not at peak physical fitness (whatever that is). They were, however, all fairly confident, funny and passionate about something (or several somethings). Mentioning this because everyone seems to think that physical attractiveness (IE. being fit or thin) are the only determinants for a relationship when there are several of us out there whose "type" isn't the standard you see in media
Yes, but I don't want to date someone who would see me now and deem me her type. That would just make me feel worse about myself.
My point is that there are plenty of people who don't have a traditional or standard "type". Many don't even have a "type" to begin with and will love the person they are with because that person is.. well, them. I personally find attractiveness in personality and the way a person treats other people. Small (or large) observable actions.
I know there are other people out there like me.
But again, you work on whatever you must to ensure your own happiness and to feel good about being yourself, whatever form that may take. 5 -
Is it my imagination or are sumo deadlifts suddenly all the rage?2
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Embarrassed to admit this and it's quite vapid(but where else to do than on anonymous forum?)...saw my gym crush today! I was a bit bummed because I haven't seen him in over a month (but who's counting). It makes working out a bit more interesting . I am usually one of those people who just goes to the gym, does what I came to do and doesn't pay a whole lot of attention to other people. However, I think if anything I'm at least partly impressed with how fit and strong he is, but not in a showy way (like the guys who try to do heavy and/or high rep exercises with poor form). 5
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Speakeasy76 wrote: »Embarrassed to admit this and it's quite vapid(but where else to do than on anonymous forum?)...saw my gym crush today! I was a bit bummed because I haven't seen him in over a month (but who's counting). It makes working out a bit more interesting . I am usually one of those people who just goes to the gym, does what I came to do and doesn't pay a whole lot of attention to other people. However, I think if anything I'm at least partly impressed with how fit and strong he is, but not in a showy way (like the guys who try to do heavy and/or high rep exercises with poor form).
Is your crush @Revolu7? If so and you want a chance at getting his attention just do something that looks like it may irreparably damage your rotator cuff and he may give you unsolicited advice. Perfect chance to drum up conversation.
This is my current plan anyway 🤷🏾♀️
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