WOMEN AGES 50+ FOR JANUARY 2017
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Barbie, happy anniversary, Rori, happy birthday. So sorry of your husbands dementia. From what I have have seen of many patients with dementia, with correct medicine they can still recognize, love and have some what a life as long as well taken care of.
Allie, I'm not sure that was a good conversation. He is still taking control. Am I reading it right in that he still wants to live there with you? Or would you live in Florida until he has it paid off. And how can he be held liable to actually making all payments. But it does sound like he is agreeing to divorce. That is one step and you are able to take a deep breath and sigh of relief.
Sherry, thank you for putting up with us, I am so relieved and grateful you are here. You are here on your terms and that is good. You are getting a double dose of support, here and wherever you are staying. At least I hope you are getting support and love there.
Joyce, grey dismal Indiana still raining0 -
Rori - I really feel for you. I think CJ, who we haven't heard from in a while, was in a similar, but much more advanced situation. It's something I think about a lot. Either for me or DH. Lots of love and hugs to you.
Heather UK xxxxxxx
PS - Because I sent out quite a few Christmas cards I have been slowly hearing back from old friends who didn't send any. Really lovely to hear from them. Gladdens the heart.
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mikesmom1983 wrote: »Good evening Ladies.
Trying hard to stay on track to get the 11 lbs. I put on off for good and then try to lose a few more. I wanted to lose around 5 lbs. last year but so much changed in my life it didn't happen. Diligently logging all food and making sure I have some reserve calories for those social situations. I was extremely proud of myself yesterday when I passed on the carrot cake (a favorite) that was offered to me at work. I knew I was seeing a friend for her birthday and had budgeted for only 1 slice for the day and her birthday cake won out. I also nixed the glass of wine in favor of a cup of coffee. Tomorrow will be a challenge, pot luck night at a friend's and I have already chosen from the restaurant menu what I will have on Friday for our book club outing. I baked lemon squares for the pot luck.
I want to get down to Heather's weight. I am an inch shorter.
Pip posted her holiday nails and I'll share mine now (since I wasn't around then).
Love and support to everyone.
Chris in MA where the flu is rampant in my home and I am staying away from everyone
Think I'm gonna steal your design !2 -
Happy birthday Rori!
Happy Anniversary Barbie!
All packed and ready to go in the morning! Disney World here I come!
Cheri
nervous and excited about the next 5 days
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NSV - actually made it to the gym, bike and weights....wonders never cease
Allie - please discuss everything with a lawyer to protect your interests. I am recently divorced, albeit living in Canada so laws may be different, but we both had to provide all financials and taxes to our lawyers before arriving at a settlement. Do not sell yourself short just to get it over and done with, you may regret it later on.
Now...on to house cleaning.
Have a great Saturday everyone.
Barb in Edmonton
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Yeah, WTG Cheri! Have a fantastic time! :drinker:
Heather UK xxxxxxx1 -
Allie, I haven't commented on your situation, but I do have a bit of advice re valuing your home. I was a real estate agent for 18 years. If you know a realtor or have a realtor friend, ask for a comparative market analysis. All realtors will provide one for free. If you don't have a friend, then choose one who you can tell is successful and sells a lot. Again, this should be a free service. Don't worry that you aren't really planning to sell; you can say you are considering it and that will be fine. You don't have to mention a divorce or separation unless you choose to.
It would be even better to get 2 or 3 from agents from different brokerages. Zillow (and other internet services) are wonderful for showing listings, but their databases can be very flawed regarding sales. This is something I know from personal experience. I do wish you the very best.
Now, a question about mfp and calories gained from exercise. What do y'all do with these calories? Do you eat them all back? None? A portion? I think the exercise calorie estimates run a little high, so sometimes adjust them downwards by manipulating time, etc. I have my profile setting at "Sedentary", which gives me a 1200 calorie base per day, which goes by REALLY fast. Would love to know how you all handle this -- especially you that are working out on a regular basis.3 -
Happy Saturday ladies!
6-8 inches of snow overnight and 27F - time to get out and get shoveling. The weenies have trouble with snow over 3” but the temp is great for them to be able to get out and “help me” move snow.
Picked up some new teas from Tiesta (for my birthday at the end of the month) and to share with my coworkers. They are super flavorful, and when I’m drinking tea, along with my lemon/waters every day help to move the #’s off of my body. Yoga today rather than walking exercises due to an infected cyst. I bought a treat for the staff the other day and put it in the clinic kitchen .. an hour later it was gone. Came to find out one of our Dr’s liked it and took it home - HE TOOK IT HOME - the specialists I work for make $$$ - buy your own damn snacks!!! LOL sheeesh https://tiestatea.com/shop/ .. Fireberry https://tiestatea.com/product/fireberry/
Healthy eating everyone!
Newbies - keep posting and hopping in, I’m always happy to talk with you
Barbie - Happy Anniversary! .. have a wonderful day!
My word for 2017 is “Mindfulness” .. age 51, -28 lbs, 50 to go! 1200 cal/day
Canadian/Niagara Falls (36 yrs), now Alaska (16 yrs) + DH + 4Dachshunds + 1parrot
Goals for 2017
Drop 50 lbs by 2018
Declutter my life, my closets, my mind and my house
Exercise in a variety of ways and enjoy it
Get outdoors and see more of my State - Alaska
Develop the best wiener dog mushing team in the state
Be a better friend to my friends, including my best friend - my DH Scott
Marni in Alaska
My babies as babies
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lacruiser2016 wrote: »Allie, I haven't commented on your situation, but I do have a bit of advice re valuing your home. I was a real estate agent for 18 years. If you know a realtor or have a realtor friend, ask for a comparative market analysis. All realtors will provide one for free. If you don't have a friend, then choose one who you can tell is successful and sells a lot. Again, this should be a free service. Don't worry that you aren't really planning to sell; you can say you are considering it and that will be fine. You don't have to mention a divorce or separation unless you choose to.
It would be even better to get 2 or 3 from agents from different brokerages. Zillow (and other internet services) are wonderful for showing listings, but their databases can be very flawed regarding sales. This is something I know from personal experience. I do wish you the very best.
Now, a question about mfp and calories gained from exercise. What do y'all do with these calories? Do you eat them all back? None? A portion? I think the exercise calorie estimates run a little high, so sometimes adjust them downwards by manipulating time, etc. I have my profile setting at "Sedentary", which gives me a 1200 calorie base per day, which goes by REALLY fast. Would love to know how you all handle this -- especially you that are working out on a regular basis.
when I was in the process of loosing weight, I didn't eat any of my calories back.1 -
stat for the day:
treadmill, skip/sidestep/scissors/jog/sprint- 1hr, 1min, 28sec- 12.17ap, 4.1-8.2sp, 0-5.0incl, 132ap, 156mhr, 5mi= 577c
apple watch- 530c
total cal 5773 -
Hi all
I'm reading but not posting much because of a combination of work stress and a respiratory infection.
Just want to say, Allie, I'd rather you didn't have Tom living with you any longer than absolutely necessary. We know your heart and I'm guessing he would continue to use you as cook, housekeeper, washerwoman -- in short, as a household slave -- without even a thank you in return. Enough of that!
Yep, both my husband and I are still struggling with some crud we got from our grandchildren, bless their hearts! I have two 500 cc bottles of water by my bedside in case I wake up thirsty or with a dry mouth, and last night was a two-bottle night. I had dry mouth syndrome - probably because my nose was stuffed and I was sleeping with my mouth open - and by morning I had used up nearly all the water. (So it was several trips to the bathroom as well.) On the bright side, I slept until nearly 9:30.
Hubby's off to Malaga tomorrow for some kind of conference. He'll be back on Friday. Hopefully the Spanish sun will cure him.
Speaking of sun, it's still more than a month until the sun goes above the horizon in Longyearbyen for the first time this year, but when we went out at 11 am today, we could see light on the horizon in the south! Sure, it was still pretty dark, but we could actually tell the difference between mountain and sky. I know it may be hard to understand, but this is BIG here! Ten minutes later, when I walked into my friendly neighborhood miscellany store (which is owned and run by a tenor in my choir) the first thing I asked him was if he had seen "all the light". He immediately abandoned his cash register and went out to look, leaving a couple of French tourists waiting at the check-out counter with quizzical expressions on their faces. :noway: I told them he'd gone out to look at the light and they looked at me as if I was crazy. (What light???)
Meanwhile, the moon was smiling down on us from its position nearly due north. Everybody talks about the midnight sun. Very few realize what a rare privilege it is to see the noon-day full moon. :bigsmile:
/Penny, fighting a cold (but not the cold) at the North Pole7 -
Happy anniversary Barbie and Rori!
Alison what guarantee would you have that he ever moves out. It puts you at too much risk What if he gets sick. Who would end up taking care of him. Let his new girlfriend do that. You are entitled to half of the 401K. Sounds like he plans to use your half to pay off the mortgage. Better to sell both properties and split the profit. Both of you can then have a fresh start. If he wants to use his 401K money to buy you off for one of the properties that might be doable ,but do it through legal channels. It might cost more but then you are protected and with him it would be worth it.
Agree with what others are saying. Best to do this legally.
I had a great time at the tea. The theme was put on the glitter. It was fun to dress up and just be with such a fun group of women. Sorry no pictures. I ended up not needing the doggie boxes because I decided to in some cases I only took bites of things and in the soup course I left the crackers on the plate. In the fruit course they serves the fruit on a cookie. I only ate the fruit and left the cookie on the plate. Going in with a strategy really helped. I also won a door prize because I was the best loser in a game. Margaret 6 -
La cruiser - I used to eat all my exercise calories back and was successful in losing 57 lbs that way. Now I am within a couple of pounds of maintenance the calculation is a bit off, so if I want to lose I have to leave a small margin of 100-150 . I exercise 600 a day, calculated by my machines.
Heather UK xxxxxxx1 -
This group is "the bomb"! Love hearing the news from all over the world, really.
Penny - your report about the midnight sun was fascinating.
And all of you being faithful to your exercise routines.... good for you! The county roads here are still packed snow and ice in places - our little private road has about 4" on it still (and slippery where it is packed down). I walked up and down it twice on Wednesday and got over 6,000 steps. Hit Walmart this morning but am still way under my regular goal of 6,000 per day.
Warm monsoon rain will hit our area this week to melt the snow and flood the roads - keeping the road crews busy.
I spent most of yesterday Marathon watching Netflix and Amazon Fire videos: Sick, Fat & Nearly Dead 1 & 2 (Joe Cross is so good), from Fat to Finish Line, Hungry for Change, Food Matters plus want to see a couple others about nutrition and weight loss and how the food industry sneaks sugar into so many processed foods.
I'm not a vegetarian but meat doesn't seem a good as it did when I was a kid so I tend more toward bean meals.
I'm not a "juicer" but the information is inspiring nonetheless. I need to pull the Nutribullet off the shelf and get going on veggie smoothies again. I was pretty faithful several years ago but had a dismal Kale crop thanks to cabbage worms and lost interest -it was either spend ten minutes picking off worms off my own organic stuff or paying a lot of $$ for organic at the store or farmer's market.
I really like kale braised in a little olive oil - will try growing it again this year, keeping it under row cover which should protect it from those white moths.
That's the latest.
Have a great rest of the weekend!
Lanette
SW Washington State4 -
My MIL and DH went together this year on a Christmas/Hanukkah gift for me. It is a Brother Innovis sewing/embroidery machine. I have never had an embroidery machine and have wanted one for years. Here is a picture of my first 2 projects using my new machine. Black and white bag was #1 and is destined for my SIL. Green and purple one was #2 and is destined for MIL.
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Allie - Tom has not been generous, or even fair to you in a very, very long time. Why would he suddenly offer you a 'fair' distribution of your marital belongings and split money that he owes you fairly? Do you really think he is looking out for you??
I concur that another set of eyes need to look at this distribution. I smell a big, fat rat.
If both houses were sold, you got half of his 401k and half of anything else you would likely have enough in hand to buy yourself a small condo in Florida and put by enough to live modestly.
Don't forget, you do get half of his Social Security and he can not stop you. Social Security will handle all of it once the divorce papers were finalized and there is no need to even mention it to him. By law it is yours! So begin to think about your future needs and I bet you have more money than you are expecting.
Charleen in Colorado4 -
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Much love to all who have struggles. Isn't it helpful to know we are not alone when we go through these blips. We are human, all too human.
Heather UK xxxxxxx
PS - I sometimes think this thread is like a really wonderful psychotherapy group. We each react in the way we tend to do in life and by observing that we can learn such a lot from each other. Thank you.5 -
Joyce: I'm sorry that you've lost a valued friend.
msfanglet: If you have pedals that will fit under your desk, using them is bound to burn calories. Neat idea. Can you adjust the level of pressure it takes to pedal? :huh:
Pip: Great pic of Kirby. :bigsmile:
Gloria in WA: I think smaller clothes are one of the best possible NSVs. They prove that you're making progress. WTG!!! :bigsmile:
Sherry: Congrats on doing a mile! WTG!!! :flowerforyou:
Sharon in Lethbridge: Sugar is not so good but the right kind of chocolate is a bona fide health food unless you have allergies. I have individually wrapped 50 calorie pieces of dark chocolate from Endangered Species. I usually limit myself to 1 a day. I get them from Amazon.
Allie: (((HUGS)))
Barbie: Happy Anniversary!!!
:flowerforyou:
Heather: Give my sincere sympathy to your DH. The loss of a friend is very hard.
Rori: I'm sorry that your DH is slipping. I have no advice beyond live one day at a time. I love the Reiki principles that you shared.
lacruiser2016: I eat part of my exercise calories back, but not all of them. I also exercise more to earn extra calories. I have used this strategy from the beginning and still do although I'm working on maintaining now.
Lanette in WA: We're just across the Columbia River from Washington and have a glorious sunny day, cold temperatures and snow on the ground. My weather app says is 32 F but my window thermometer reads colder than that. We are in a townhouse that looks east and is on the north side of the building so our walkway is shaded.
No riding lesson this week due to cold temperatures and snow. I hope next week is more conducive to riding, but I'm happy not to be out there in the freezing cold this weekend. I will take myself out into the garage and ride the bike to burn some calories. :bigsmile:
Katla in beautiful NW Oregon
Tibetan proverb: "The secret to living well and long is: Eat half, walk double, laugh triple and love without measure..."
January 2017 Resolutions:
1: Log every bite and swallow;
2. Cardio exercise at least 3 days a week. Work on strength and stamina.
3. Have fun every day.
4. Drink at least 3 glasses of water a day.
5. Monitor sleep. Average 7 or more hours of sleep nightly.
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Charleen~
he isn't collecting Social security yet.. he wont start drawing on that for a couple more years..
and I understand what you all are saying.. I want what us best for me also..
he really wants the house in Florida and I have no problem with that.. but I also want to get my fair share of 20 yrs of accumulation of other assets.. yes 401k,investments and homes...
I am glad we talked but I dont want to get bum rushed either...
If I do retain a lawyer ..I would like all to go smoothly- it was not easy the last time and that was 20 yrs ago..
We are in Connecticut and I have at least another 13 yrs to work before I can collect Social Security...If he wants the place in Florida so bad he will have to work for it..4 -
Mia, the bags are gorgeous, great job.
Janetr okc0 -
Allie - Tom has not been generous, or even fair to you in a very, very long time. Why would he suddenly offer you a 'fair' distribution of your marital belongings and split money that he owes you fairly? Do you really think he is looking out for you??
I concur that another set of eyes need to look at this distribution. I smell a big, fat rat.
If both houses were sold, you got half of his 401k and half of anything else you would likely have enough in hand to buy yourself a small condo in Florida and put by enough to live modestly.
Don't forget, you do get half of his Social Security and he can not stop you. Social Security will handle all of it once the divorce papers were finalized and there is no need to even mention it to him. By law it is yours! So begin to think about your future needs and I bet you have more money than you are expecting.
Charleen in Colorado
well said,4 -
Allie - take care of you, first and foremost - you're getting some great advice.
Rori - happy birthday, and many hugs.
Mia - happy to see you still creating....
Lisa in rainy, chilly West Texas1 -
lacruiser2016 wrote: »Now, a question about mfp and calories gained from exercise. What do y'all do with these calories? Do you eat them all back? None? A portion? I think the exercise calorie estimates run a little high, so sometimes adjust them downwards by manipulating time, etc. I have my profile setting at "Sedentary", which gives me a 1200 calorie base per day, which goes by REALLY fast. Would love to know how you all handle this -- especially you that are working out on a regular basis.
1. Every person is different be as accurate as you can on your profile and activity level
2. Use scale to weigh all food
3. Log everything
4. Make sure your calorie intake is correct
5. Experiment eating calories back to see if you lose at the rate you set up on MFP
If you set it to lose 2 lbs a week that is a 1000 calorie / day deficit either accomplished by restricting what you eat, exercising or a combination. A moderately active woman burns 1800-2000 calories a day. So, at 1200 calories you have approximately 600-800 calorie deficit. 3500 calories in a pound. Without exercising you should lose 4200-5600calories in your deficit. That is 1- 1 1/2 lbs/week. Notice that to lose 2 lbs / week you need 200-400 exercise calories burned/day that you can't eat back! Anything over that you can.
Mary from Minnesota4 -
Mia- I'm glad that you have such an awesome machine to create with!1
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Well, I'm cleaning out some of my DVD's (about time, huh? But really need to clean more, just haven't had time). Right now I'd be willing to sell to someone for the cost of the postage (which in the US is usually around $2.60-$2.70)
Jillian Michaels Hard Body
the Firm Ignite Calorie Burn
the Firm Cardio Overdrive
I also have "Fit in Six" which is for the Wii. Basically, there are multiple workouts working on six different aspects of exercise -- cardio, balance, upper body, lower body, strength, core, and flexibility. Each of the workouts vary in length.
PM me if you are interested in any of these.
Michele in NC2 -
LAcruiser Yes I have a spare room. I live in the city part-time and we have a 3 bedroom apt. Its tight but very doable. It’s a 10 min river taxi to the tennis center. You are most welcome.
Katia49 I should have included anyone/any place who is passionate. You’re right many gyms and fitness centers have yoga. Anyway you can learn alignment is great.
Marni in Alaska My son loved Alaska. He came with us on our fishing trip to Valdez and fell in love with it much like I did. I'll send a pic of him with a 104 lb halibut he caught if you're ok with it. I was going to post it here but its a bit bloody and may be upsetting for some. Love the baby pics.
Sharon in Lethbridge Thanks for the encouragement. It isn’t a small thing I agree but I don’t want to become my illness. I’m sick (I don’t feel sick at all by the way) I will get better. I also know that these challenges are times of growth. If I wallow in it too much I’ll forget the growth part. I appreciate your concern and sentiment. I’ll try not to be hard on myself as I grow. Self-kindness is tough sometimes.
Poerava14 I love the card your Reiki trainer sent you:
* Today I choose to be Free of Worry
* Today I choose to be Free of Anger or Impatience
* Today I choose to live with Gratitude and Love
* Today I choose to be Kind and Compassionate toward all, including myself
* Today I choose to Live and Work in Integrity and be of Service
It really resonated with me. I love you ‘inhale’ these mantras.
Miakoda40 Love the darling pouches. Are you thinking of making them commercially available? Please keep us posted.
Heather UK So agree about the usefulness of this thread.
I too want to express my heart felt sadness for those who are struggling and who have had recent loss. Life isn’t for wimps that’s for sure. Please know I am including you in my open heart meditation and sending loving comforting energy to you to help ease your burden.
My boys arrive in just a couple of hours. Its been 8 months since I’ve hugged my youngest and 4 ½ since I hugged my oldest so I’m excited and distracted. I’ll reread the past couple of days and will get caught up soon. I included a recent photo as my profile. No makeup no hair colour just me...
Love to all
Christy in Melbourne
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Rori meant to say Happy Birthday :flowerforyou:1
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