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Should your S.O./Spouse have a say so if they feel you are too thin or too large?
Replies
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Has this really devolved into who is better at sex?
Lol. Well, based on my experience, size really doesn't matter. What did matter was a combination of experience, generosity, and chemistry.
Because some people think fat equals unable to perform
Anyway I guess when interviewing new partners asking for performance stats is vital as well as obtaining their bmi upfront2 -
Therealobi1 wrote: »
I didn't actually see anybody say that fat people couldn't perform sexually. It was rather that some people on the thread don't find fat people sexually attractive. Not everybody is sexually attracted to thin people, either, though. It's just a preference thing. We can like what we like. It's all good.
(I did, however, see people talking about fit people not being too great at it, mainly due to the naturally selfish and/or narcissistic qualities of attractive folks. And then there was that one guy who says he's fit and not that great in bed, but that could just be because he's worn himself out with all that cycling he's doing...)
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Hmmmm., it has been implied that only fit people have stamina, endurance and flexibility. It's been implied that fat people can't keep up in bed....Therealobi1 wrote: »
I didn't actually see anybody say that fat people couldn't perform sexually. It was rather that some people on the thread don't find fat people sexually attractive. Not everybody is sexually attracted to thin people, either, though. It's just a preference thing. We can like what we like. It's all good.
(I did, however, see people talking about fit people not being too great at it, mainly due to the naturally selfish and/or narcissistic qualities of attractive folks. And then there was that one guy who says he's fit and not that great in bed, but that could just be because he's worn himself out with all that cycling he's doing...)
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In the very unlikely event this story is true, you are describing a marriage of convenience: I will put up with the partner I feel no attraction towards, so he/she can take care of me. Whatever...STLBADGIRL wrote: »heiliskrimsli wrote: »STLBADGIRL wrote: »Wow is that what you got out of that? What planet do you live on? You asked me what if they do not want to lose weight and you give them months and they don't lose weight but gain more weight...I shared with you a true story (never once in this whole thread did I state that a partner should keep his mouth shut - NEVER) My point is some people weight gain is a result of something else that manifest itself through extra weight. Deal with the root cause with the person YOU LOVE.
I asked you what then, and you told a story that had no resolution. Did the guy break up with her? Did she fix her issues? Did he just stop bringing it up? What actually happened?
Also, you can't fix someone else's "root cause" when they're lying to you about their own effort.
The point wasn't the resolution - I say that because there are many stories on here with a resolution and it didn't broaden your view...so I don't know why this time it would be different. The point I was making is that he paid all that money for PT's, gym memberships, and classes, when that wasn't the REAL issue. Once a person has a healthy mind, they can start being healthy in all other areas of their life.
But if you must know the resolution to the story. The husband found out he had an aggressive cancer and died within 3 months at the age of 33. Good thing he didn't dump her, because she took GOOD care of him in his final days, She was there for him when he couldn't walk a few steps away to use the bathroom, or bathe himself, or do something so simple as feed himself. She learned how to cook healthy foods for him because his diet had changed dramatically. She gave up the sweets and ate what he ate to support him b/c she knew that the new diet was adjustment for him. And although she lost her husband, she learned how to eat healthy and prepare her own meals and lost a great amount of weight.
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STLBADGIRL wrote: »
Hmmmm., it has been implied that only fit people have stamina, endurance and flexibility. It's been implied that fat people can't keep up in bed....Therealobi1 wrote: »
I didn't actually see anybody say that fat people couldn't perform sexually. It was rather that some people on the thread don't find fat people sexually attractive. Not everybody is sexually attracted to thin people, either, though. It's just a preference thing. We can like what we like. It's all good.
(I did, however, see people talking about fit people not being too great at it, mainly due to the naturally selfish and/or narcissistic qualities of attractive folks. And then there was that one guy who says he's fit and not that great in bed, but that could just be because he's worn himself out with all that cycling he's doing...)
^ That's what I saw. But I did see where it said "fat people are bouncy" and bouncy = "good bam bam."
I did not infer from that statement that non-bouncy = bad "bam bam"... though perhaps one could?
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STLBADGIRL wrote: »
Hmmmm., it has been implied that only fit people have stamina, endurance and flexibility. It's been implied that fat people can't keep up in bed....Therealobi1 wrote: »
I didn't actually see anybody say that fat people couldn't perform sexually. It was rather that some people on the thread don't find fat people sexually attractive. Not everybody is sexually attracted to thin people, either, though. It's just a preference thing. We can like what we like. It's all good.
(I did, however, see people talking about fit people not being too great at it, mainly due to the naturally selfish and/or narcissistic qualities of attractive folks. And then there was that one guy who says he's fit and not that great in bed, but that could just be because he's worn himself out with all that cycling he's doing...)
^ That's what I saw. But I did see where it said "fat people are bouncy" and bouncy = "good bam bam." I did not infer from that statement that non-bouncy = bad "bam bam"... though perhaps one could?
Lol, not the bouncy bouncy one that's funny
Being overweight impacts performance in a negative way is the quote.
The amusing thing is over 25 is the magic number, am sure there are fit people at bmi 263 -
In the very unlikely event this story is true, you are describing a marriage of convenience: I will put up with the partner I feel no attraction towards, so he/she can take care of me. Whatever...STLBADGIRL wrote: »heiliskrimsli wrote: »STLBADGIRL wrote: »Wow is that what you got out of that? What planet do you live on? You asked me what if they do not want to lose weight and you give them months and they don't lose weight but gain more weight...I shared with you a true story (never once in this whole thread did I state that a partner should keep his mouth shut - NEVER) My point is some people weight gain is a result of something else that manifest itself through extra weight. Deal with the root cause with the person YOU LOVE.
I asked you what then, and you told a story that had no resolution. Did the guy break up with her? Did she fix her issues? Did he just stop bringing it up? What actually happened?
Also, you can't fix someone else's "root cause" when they're lying to you about their own effort.
The point wasn't the resolution - I say that because there are many stories on here with a resolution and it didn't broaden your view...so I don't know why this time it would be different. The point I was making is that he paid all that money for PT's, gym memberships, and classes, when that wasn't the REAL issue. Once a person has a healthy mind, they can start being healthy in all other areas of their life.
But if you must know the resolution to the story. The husband found out he had an aggressive cancer and died within 3 months at the age of 33. Good thing he didn't dump her, because she took GOOD care of him in his final days, She was there for him when he couldn't walk a few steps away to use the bathroom, or bathe himself, or do something so simple as feed himself. She learned how to cook healthy foods for him because his diet had changed dramatically. She gave up the sweets and ate what he ate to support him b/c she knew that the new diet was adjustment for him. And although she lost her husband, she learned how to eat healthy and prepare her own meals and lost a great amount of weight.
Oh dear2 -
Therealobi1 wrote: »STLBADGIRL wrote: »
Hmmmm., it has been implied that only fit people have stamina, endurance and flexibility. It's been implied that fat people can't keep up in bed....Therealobi1 wrote: »
I didn't actually see anybody say that fat people couldn't perform sexually. It was rather that some people on the thread don't find fat people sexually attractive. Not everybody is sexually attracted to thin people, either, though. It's just a preference thing. We can like what we like. It's all good.
(I did, however, see people talking about fit people not being too great at it, mainly due to the naturally selfish and/or narcissistic qualities of attractive folks. And then there was that one guy who says he's fit and not that great in bed, but that could just be because he's worn himself out with all that cycling he's doing...)
^ That's what I saw. But I did see where it said "fat people are bouncy" and bouncy = "good bam bam." I did not infer from that statement that non-bouncy = bad "bam bam"... though perhaps one could?
Lol, not the bouncy bouncy one that's funny
Being overweight impacts performance in a negative way is the quote.
The amusing thing is over 25 is the magic number, am sure there are fit people at bmi 26
Yes, this thread has been entertaining...
I'm guessing that was probably meant to be more of an example (depending on the individual) and not really a hard line for everyone. For some people, 25 would be borderline overweight and for others it's still perfectly fit. For a few outliers, 24 might even be a little high. For example: My husband is fit and hot as hell (to me, anyway ) and his BMI is 25.8. The doctor says not to worry, though. He says my husband is athletic and muscular, so not to worry about BMI in his case. For me, though, my blood tests are showing bad things at a BMI of 23.5 (I've never been higher than that.) I have to stay around 20-22 to get all my tests out of the risk range, because I'm some kind of a genetic mutant. My doctor thinks my particular genes call for me to be more on the slim side - lower than average in body fat - to stay healthy.
Maybe there's too much of a focus on the BMI of 25, when that was (I think) just a hypothetical. And even if it wasn't, who am I to judge another person's standards? It doesn't even matter if you think about it. This whole thread is taking itself way too seriously...LOL.
*hugs for everyone*
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Therealobi1 wrote: »STLBADGIRL wrote: »
Hmmmm., it has been implied that only fit people have stamina, endurance and flexibility. It's been implied that fat people can't keep up in bed....Therealobi1 wrote: »
I didn't actually see anybody say that fat people couldn't perform sexually. It was rather that some people on the thread don't find fat people sexually attractive. Not everybody is sexually attracted to thin people, either, though. It's just a preference thing. We can like what we like. It's all good.
(I did, however, see people talking about fit people not being too great at it, mainly due to the naturally selfish and/or narcissistic qualities of attractive folks. And then there was that one guy who says he's fit and not that great in bed, but that could just be because he's worn himself out with all that cycling he's doing...)
^ That's what I saw. But I did see where it said "fat people are bouncy" and bouncy = "good bam bam." I did not infer from that statement that non-bouncy = bad "bam bam"... though perhaps one could?
Lol, not the bouncy bouncy one that's funny
Being overweight impacts performance in a negative way is the quote.
The amusing thing is over 25 is the magic number, am sure there are fit people at bmi 26
I think bmi is often a poor indicator of health regardless. Look at Uriah Hall. At 6' and 185 lbs his bmi comes out at 25.1 which is classified as obese.
Obese is a BMI of 30 or greater. 25 is still only borderline overweight, and there's a lot of leeway given for athletes. I agree that BMI isn't the best indicator. Just simply eyeballing it and looking at a person's medical data will give you a much better idea. I don't think the "25 BMI" poster was thinking of an athlete when she wrote that. She was probably thinking more along the lines of a typical, getting to be rather out-of-shape kinda guy and wanting to nip that in the bud BEFORE it gets out of control and harder to manage. Some people DO tend to snowball after a certain point...I personally think 25 is kind of a little too soon to be packing bags, but I don't think it's unreasonable to be concerned at that point. But that's just me. My opinion isn't any more or less valid than anybody else's.2 -
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If a S.O./spouse/partner is concerned about their partner's weight for health reasons, then absolutely, yes, I believe they have a say. That, to me, is love. If their concern is all about appearances, especially if it is how your appearance reflects on them personally, that is another question, and I don't want to go down that particular rabbit hole at this time.2
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If a S.O./spouse/partner is concerned about their partner's weight for health reasons, then absolutely, yes, I believe they have a say. That, to me, is love. If their concern is all about appearances, especially if it is how your appearance reflects on them personally, that is another question, and I don't want to go down that particular rabbit hole at this time.
Why not? Everybody else has... 3 -
Therealobi1 wrote: »STLBADGIRL wrote: »
Hmmmm., it has been implied that only fit people have stamina, endurance and flexibility. It's been implied that fat people can't keep up in bed....Therealobi1 wrote: »
I didn't actually see anybody say that fat people couldn't perform sexually. It was rather that some people on the thread don't find fat people sexually attractive. Not everybody is sexually attracted to thin people, either, though. It's just a preference thing. We can like what we like. It's all good.
(I did, however, see people talking about fit people not being too great at it, mainly due to the naturally selfish and/or narcissistic qualities of attractive folks. And then there was that one guy who says he's fit and not that great in bed, but that could just be because he's worn himself out with all that cycling he's doing...)
^ That's what I saw. But I did see where it said "fat people are bouncy" and bouncy = "good bam bam." I did not infer from that statement that non-bouncy = bad "bam bam"... though perhaps one could?
Lol, not the bouncy bouncy one that's funny
Being overweight impacts performance in a negative way is the quote.
The amusing thing is over 25 is the magic number, am sure there are fit people at bmi 26
I think bmi is often a poor indicator of health regardless. Look at Uriah Hall. At 6' and 185 lbs his bmi comes out at 25.1 which is classified as obese.
Oh my he would definitely crush internal organs. Lol11 -
Therealobi1 wrote: »Therealobi1 wrote: »STLBADGIRL wrote: »
Hmmmm., it has been implied that only fit people have stamina, endurance and flexibility. It's been implied that fat people can't keep up in bed....Therealobi1 wrote: »
I didn't actually see anybody say that fat people couldn't perform sexually. It was rather that some people on the thread don't find fat people sexually attractive. Not everybody is sexually attracted to thin people, either, though. It's just a preference thing. We can like what we like. It's all good.
(I did, however, see people talking about fit people not being too great at it, mainly due to the naturally selfish and/or narcissistic qualities of attractive folks. And then there was that one guy who says he's fit and not that great in bed, but that could just be because he's worn himself out with all that cycling he's doing...)
^ That's what I saw. But I did see where it said "fat people are bouncy" and bouncy = "good bam bam." I did not infer from that statement that non-bouncy = bad "bam bam"... though perhaps one could?
Lol, not the bouncy bouncy one that's funny
Being overweight impacts performance in a negative way is the quote.
The amusing thing is over 25 is the magic number, am sure there are fit people at bmi 26
I think bmi is often a poor indicator of health regardless. Look at Uriah Hall. At 6' and 185 lbs his bmi comes out at 25.1 which is classified as obese.
Oh my he would definitely crush internal organs. Lol
But it might be worth it? I'm guessing you wouldn't be leaving him any time soon... 4 -
I love it when it all gets down to athlete pics to "prove" that BMI does not work for us common people. The sad truth is that for most of us, at a BMI of 25 or even 24 or for many 23, we are not looking that good any more. The fact that there are lots of people in whatever country one might be who are very overweight, it really does not change anything.1
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Therealobi1 wrote: »Therealobi1 wrote: »STLBADGIRL wrote: »
Hmmmm., it has been implied that only fit people have stamina, endurance and flexibility. It's been implied that fat people can't keep up in bed....Therealobi1 wrote: »
I didn't actually see anybody say that fat people couldn't perform sexually. It was rather that some people on the thread don't find fat people sexually attractive. Not everybody is sexually attracted to thin people, either, though. It's just a preference thing. We can like what we like. It's all good.
(I did, however, see people talking about fit people not being too great at it, mainly due to the naturally selfish and/or narcissistic qualities of attractive folks. And then there was that one guy who says he's fit and not that great in bed, but that could just be because he's worn himself out with all that cycling he's doing...)
^ That's what I saw. But I did see where it said "fat people are bouncy" and bouncy = "good bam bam." I did not infer from that statement that non-bouncy = bad "bam bam"... though perhaps one could?
Lol, not the bouncy bouncy one that's funny
Being overweight impacts performance in a negative way is the quote.
The amusing thing is over 25 is the magic number, am sure there are fit people at bmi 26
I think bmi is often a poor indicator of health regardless. Look at Uriah Hall. At 6' and 185 lbs his bmi comes out at 25.1 which is classified as obese.
Oh my he would definitely crush internal organs. Lol
But it might be worth it? I'm guessing you wouldn't be leaving him any time soon...
1 -
I love it when it all gets down to athlete pics to "prove" that BMI does not work for us common people. The sad truth is that for most of us, at a BMI of 25 or even 24 or for many 23, we are not looking that good any more. The fact that there are lots of people in whatever country one might be who are very overweight, it really does not change anything.
So 22 is the magic number.0 -
Therealobi1 wrote: »I love it when it all gets down to athlete pics to "prove" that BMI does not work for us common people. The sad truth is that for most of us, at a BMI of 25 or even 24 or for many 23, we are not looking that good any more. The fact that there are lots of people in whatever country one might be who are very overweight, it really does not change anything.
So 22 is the magic number.
It depends on how you are built and how athletic you are. For me, who have a small frame, ideally this would be around 19. for someone else it might be 22, but I have yet to meet a single person who really looked good at the upper part of normal BMI and was not spending a lot of time at sports (a lot meaning not just an hour every day or every other day as most of us "amateur athletes" do).1 -
Therealobi1 wrote: »I love it when it all gets down to athlete pics to "prove" that BMI does not work for us common people. The sad truth is that for most of us, at a BMI of 25 or even 24 or for many 23, we are not looking that good any more. The fact that there are lots of people in whatever country one might be who are very overweight, it really does not change anything.
So 22 is the magic number.
It depends on how you are built and how athletic you are. For me, who have a small frame, ideally this would be around 19. for someone else it might be 22, but I have yet to meet a single person who really looked good at the upper part of normal BMI and was not spending a lot of time at sports (a lot meaning not just an hour every day or every other day as most of us "amateur athletes" do).
i wont speak about other people's best bmi, but for me at my height and build those bmi's quoted would make me look sick. that doesnt mean giving up it means working on recomping.4
...even the skinny people. 
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