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  • melissawill2017
    melissawill2017 Posts: 1,131 Member
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    I've never had a direct negative comment on one of my posts but I've seen it on others. Is it frustrating and most of the time uncalled for, yes! However, you can't let others passive aggressive comments or negativity derail your success. I sometimes see negative comments when someone doesn't agree with the OP's method of weight loss, exercise regimens, etc... There are always going to be negative people out there that try to drag others down. You can choose to dwell on those occasional negative comments or ignore them and learn from all of the positive. Not always easy but I personally refuse to let miserable people get into my head.. in any capacity of my life! Good luck to you and I hope you choose to ignore the haters :)
  • wolvinnetje
    wolvinnetje Posts: 363 Member
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    If you post a Question here on Mfp I think you want an answer right? If the answer not the thing is that you want to hear it is not per definition negative or let you feel bad about it .If you want an opinion you get an opinion and not only like the things that will let you feel or look good!......And if someone is real rude and abbuse you with words than just ignore or give him or her a big mouth....Is this negative what I wrote? no far from that it is honest and I know that these days it is hard to be a person with an opinion. So do your thing be positive yourself and you get what you give goodluck!
  • leanjogreen18
    leanjogreen18 Posts: 2,492 Member
    edited April 2017
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    I came here to the forums to get support but mostly to get feedback because I was failing at maintaining my weight losses from overly restrictive diets.

    I've learned from "snarky" and "mean" posts. Maybe I didn't like it but I came to learn. And I got a great education that will help me when I reach maintenance.

    Jump in the thread and make helpful kind comments if you feel a poster is getting beat up. If you're getting beat up perhaps look at what you said, see if it might be wrong, clarify or get out of the thread.

    I'm appreciative of all types of personalities here. Makes some great threads!
  • marelthu
    marelthu Posts: 184 Member
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    You could dump this site but you're still going to run into the same people in real life. Learn to ignore people who make you feel bad and appreciate people who make you feel supported.
  • demorelli
    demorelli Posts: 508 Member
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    OP i get your frustration. While most people on these forums are great and give wonderful advice, there are some people who act very "know it all" and others who, without intending to, will sometimes word their posts in what could very easily come off as a "superior" tone. From what I've seen, this comes out most around controversial issues but can show up anywhere. One day it got to the point that i had an anxiety attack over it and hid in the bathroom at work to cry. It's really hard for some people (like me) to ignore people's bad attitudes. Because of personal experience, my advice would be continue to use the forums but if you start being effected by negative posts, stop checking that thread for a while, even if you started the thread. If you're feeling especially sensitive to something being posted, make a choice to not go back to it. Or once you're not feeling as upset about the comments, consider reading them over more analytically to see whether the advice, although it might be worded in a know or all tone, may still be sound advice. Occasionally I'll send someone a pm explaining how their post made me feel but asking them to clarify so i can understand the advice they were trying to give without feeling belittled by it.

    Sorry for the long post. I know it can be hard navigating the forums if you're as sensitive as i am but i the knowledge and support here is worth the extra effort. Hope this helped :)
  • melissawill2017
    melissawill2017 Posts: 1,131 Member
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    comeonnow142857 wrote: »
    melissawill2017 wrote: »
    I've never had a direct negative comment on one of my posts but I've seen it on others. Is it frustrating and most of the time uncalled for, yes! However, you can't let others passive aggressive comments or negativity derail your success. I sometimes see negative comments when someone doesn't agree with the OP's method of weight loss, exercise regimens, etc... There are always going to be negative people out there that try to drag others down. You can choose to dwell on those occasional negative comments or ignore them and learn from all of the positive. Not always easy but I personally refuse to let miserable people get into my head.. in any capacity of my life! Good luck to you and I hope you choose to ignore the haters :)

    If you're not willing to learn from "negative comments", only treat them as someone trying to drag you down, and you dismiss the people who make comments that are negative towards your claims as miserable, you're not going to be learning much with any rigour. A lot of positive comments are bunkum, and reality frequently disagrees with us all.

    And there is absolutely nothing passive aggressive about directly negating something somebody said. That is literally the opposite of what passive aggression is. [/quot

    I think you are misinterpreting my point here. I am not talking about people that disagree with my point of views, methods, etc.. I am referring to the occasional trolls on here that are not here to offer any type of meaningful advice and only posting to be hurtful or rude. I don't think the OP started this thread because someone disagreed with her; I took it as though someone was being malicious with their statements and that does happen on here as well as any social media outlet that you choose to engage in! Trust me, I do not feed into the "butt hurt" society we leave in where everyone gets offended by everything. There is definitely a difference between constructive criticism and then someone who is malicious with their intent. OP didn't specify what specifically upset her, so we can only speculate about the response she received.

    *And you are right... Passive aggressive was not the word that I was looking for in my post!
  • CoffeeNBooze
    CoffeeNBooze Posts: 966 Member
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    I think of it like this; I don't think most people fall on the end of one extreme (going out of their way to be rude) or the other end (sugar coating everything)... I think most fall in the middle. And some people have that extra boost of confidence and reassurance of greater anonymity to be a bit snarkier on the internet than they would in real life. But I think the bottom line is for this site, is that most posters get really tired of the perpetual myths, diet scams, and snake oil being sold to unsuspecting people who just want real results. So that frustration comes through; I get that way myself. It's nothing personal against you.

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