WOMEN AGES 50+ FOR JANUARY 2018

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  • grandmallie
    grandmallie Posts: 10,086 Member
    I am up and showered and having toast and tea and then to work until 1 pm, come home and then go to my dads and keep working clearing things out.and somehow figure out how to get the cable box working.
    talked to Tom last night and he said he cant afford any more alimony he is stretched to the top now, that is what we are going to court for.
    Well I dont want to be a jerk but until I can get through this stuff with my dad, hopefully keep my job and and get stabalized here ,once the divorce is final I am going to be sunk, with insurance for car,condo and especially health I dont know how I will fair, but cant dwell on that, have to live for today now worry about tomorrow..
  • langman22
    langman22 Posts: 786 Member
    Hi ladies,

    Barbie, glad to hear that Jake’s back home and everything went well.

    Allie, not sure if I trust that Tom can’t do more alimony. You have a smart lawyer so I’m sure she’ll check the figures. When do you go to court? Also, I waiting for more pictures of your fur friend.

    Someone that lives in VT friended me and I accepted but they aren’t in my list of friends. Maybe I hit the wrong thing as I did it from my phone. If you get this message please friend me again.

    Well temperature is dropping quickly. DH just left for work and I told him to text me when he gets there as it’s icy out there.

    Going to do some cleaning today as my house really needs it.

    Well not much going on so will close for now.

    Terry in cold again VT
  • Peach1948
    Peach1948 Posts: 2,473 Member
    o:)
  • trisH_7183
    trisH_7183 Posts: 1,486 Member
    We had ice,then 6” of snow. I woke at 3 & couldn’t go back to sleep.TV reminding ppl that every driveway,walk & road is “very slick."due to ice. Temp dropped 42* last nt & is 12* now. Looking like a perfect day for sorting whatever,reading,just enjoying not having to go anywhere.

    JOYCE,looks like you have the same weather.

    Don’t know where my thin,straight gray hair came from.Used to be wavy.Mom lived to be nearly 90 & her hair never got very gray.Both DDs & Grdaughter have gorgeous hair.

    OLIVIA is so sweet..loved the pics of all,Heathers Grkids also.

    The spiralized info on OG Site. “Zucchini and yellow squash spiralized into veggie pasta, tossed with whole grain linguine, tomatoes and garlic in a scampi herb sauce“ Sounds like a very easy stir fry,but we have to find something when we eat out.

    Red sauce of any type is my least fav sauce.
    Breakfast today was a fresh pear....so good.
    Stir fry for supper with a bunch of fresh veggies.

    DH took Xarelto fir 10 days & stopped it before he saw Dr. He had bleeding.".so scary. Now
    his med papers say allergic to Xarelto.
    So many meds side effects sound worse than the problem ppl take them for.A lot of Drs do not know the side effects.....

    Time to make the bed,then enjoy the day.You all have a nice wk end

    Pat in Ohio




  • langman22
    langman22 Posts: 786 Member
    Barbie, happy anniversary
  • margaretturk
    margaretturk Posts: 5,252 Member
    Barbara have you tried upping Vit D and then calcium in your diet. A friend of mine did that under a doctor's care and it really helped with her bone density. My mom was on Fosamax and I tried to tell her it does not build your bones from the inside out. It works on the surface ie it like putting a coat of paint over a house that is chipping. It will soon start chipping again because the underlying problems are not addressed.

    I got 9 hours of uninterrupted sleep last night, so it is a good day!!! Weight is staying steady. I am okay with that while I address getting my sleep where I want it to be.

    Going out to lunch with friends I have not seen in ages. I am looking forward to seeing the. I am friends on Facebook so I know some of the things that are happening in their lives.

    :heart: Margaret
  • exermom
    exermom Posts: 6,517 Member
    Did a Total Body Workout with Resistance Band Workout DVD. The plan for tomorrow is to do a Winsor Pilates Accelerated Body Sculpting DVD

    Terry in VT - 60 to 16! What a difference! So glad your cousin loved the braceletet, knew she would

    SueBDew in TX - so very sorry for your friend

    Well, I think I've pretty well decided that on Wed. (the next time I'm at the Y) I'll cancel my membership and take up a membership at another gym. The advantages to the other gym is that it's cleaner, she's more forward thinking, more equipment. I honestly don't see this gym going anywhere but downhill. The only thing they have that she doesn't have is the pool. I use the Y's machines, the weights with the barbell and take the water class. She has machines and the weights. And she's offering me a sweet deal. If I go to her place and just pay the guest fee at the Y, it comes out approximately the same. Everyone I've talked to says how the bathrooms are so clean, the locker rooms, etc. So I'll give it a try. At worst, I can return to the Y. As for using the Y when we go to FL, I do have to say that in all the years I've gone there, they have never once called NC to find out if I truly was a member. I'll have an old membership card that I can show them. So I think I'll be OK there. And it's not like it's for a long time anyway, we're probably talking only a week or so that I'd be using it.

    Put a load of laundry in the wash, now it's in the dryer.

    Barbara - I was on Reclast (once/yr) and now I'm on Prolia (2x/yr) for osteoporosis. Both of them are injectable

    Sharon - you'd better cut back on taking extra shifts. Your life isn't worth it. Falling asleep while driving....<shutter>

    Allie - Poor Poor Tom...he's stretched to the top. Bummer <snicker> He can manage to give you more so don't let your big heart get in the way and say "that's ok". You deserve as much as you can get out of him for all you've been put thru. Get enough to cover the car, the condo, and your health insurance. You certainly deserve it!

    NYKaren - what movie are you planning to see?

    barbie - happy anniversary

    Going to make banana chocolate chip muffins for the gal at the place where I take the extremepump because it's her birthday. Going to make the dessert for Rummikub. Also want to make these chocolate donuts for Vince. The recipe is from Healthy Girl, so we shall see how they turn out.

    Michele in NC
  • auntiebk
    auntiebk Posts: 2,610 Member
    Michele ". . . many many times a man won't listen to a woman, but let someone else say the exact same thing..." One of the things I learned when we went to counseling. If Joe isn't "getting" what I say, I ask his brother to pass the word. Turns out I'd rather get the message across than fight about it. Who knew? Going for the original crown may be what DH decides to do... after a 2nd opinion... ;}
    Machka too young for a dexascan??? How old are you, 29??? I had my first bone density test in my forties, but I did go through menopause aka the decade of anger, beginning at 42. Can you get a second or women's health Dr. to insist you have the scan? A little jealous of your lovely wade at the beach, it will always be a little too cold here for that ;}
    Barbie, 4 days? Know you'll miss Jake. Sending healing thoughts for successful resolution. Your perspectives on how to make life changes are always thought provoking and inspiring. Thank you!
    Lisa How long might your daughter be deployed? "time to try to live more in the present, less in the future, enjoy this for what it is and deal with the future as it comes" sounds like you are getting a Universe lesson ;}
    Allie I had no idea that Dr wouldn't share info with a daughter... nor that it had to be notarized. What about spouses?
    Heather, Lisa "bad with uncertainty" I resemble that remark.. now if I could just resemble both your activity levels ;)
    Karen in VA plumbing at 3am? did valve freeze???
    Lou my weight fluctuates as much as yours and more and it is nutty indeed. At least your trend is in the right direction ;)
    Cathy Hubba hubba!
    Rye "...to be grateful I'm not even shorter" at a quarter inch short of 5' I stand up and shout "Amen Sister, AMEN!" Hula hoops? Any tips on how to do it? Loved it as a kid, but can't seem to keep it up at all now.
    "I'd rather sit and read a book" me too. Have to limit that treat or it eats up the whole day ;{

    #$%& timer went off with 6 pages still to go.

    Mindful and WARM Hugs to all,
    desismileys_4280.gifBarbara, the Southern Oregon Coastie AHMOD.
  • Peach1948
    Peach1948 Posts: 2,473 Member
    Heather ~ Your son and his lady look very happy! I hope his life has turned around from the depression. The gifts are beautiful.
  • SophieRosieMom
    SophieRosieMom Posts: 3,646 Member
    cityjaneLondon wrote: »
    A pic of one of the cushions. The other is similar, but the pink and yellow accents are reversed.
    zqfm3lbjzmkb.jpg

    These are the ash glazed tea bowls. The glazes are very beautiful and the pic doesn't really do them justice.
    dh0rerkhycv8.jpg

    Lanette - Is that OK? :laugh:

    Much love, Heather UK xxxxxxx
    cityjaneLondon wrote: »
    A pic of one of the cushions. The other is similar, but the pink and yellow accents are reversed.
    zqfm3lbjzmkb.jpg

    These are the ash glazed tea bowls. The glazes are very beautiful and the pic doesn't really do them justice.
    dh0rerkhycv8.jpg

    Lanette - Is that OK? :laugh:

    Much love, Heather UK xxxxxxx

    Heather - those photos are MORE than OK, lol. How very nice! So glad the visit went well and like you said, nice you don't have to worry about him for a change.

    They are a very nice looking couple, by the way - love those genuine smiles! <3<3<3

    Lanette
    SW WA State
  • cityjaneLondon
    cityjaneLondon Posts: 12,693 Member
    Kate UK - I think it was Wendy who recommended turmeric, but I also take it in capsule, powdered form, from Amazon. Curcumin and black pepper. Must order some more.
    I had my gallbladder out and have had no effects at all. But if you aren't having symptoms, then I wouldn't go for it right now. It does take a week or two to recover.

    Lisa - thanks for the playlist. I'll have a listen soon. <3

    Love Heather UK xxxxxxx

  • kevrit
    kevrit Posts: 4,301 Member
    What do you think this is? >:)
  • margaretturk
    margaretturk Posts: 5,252 Member
    Both friends sick today. The plan is to reschedule. I was able to connect with one of them via phone.

    Another friend helped me figure out how to retrieve messages when we are speaking to someone and the other party can leave a message. We switched servers a month ago and I didn't know what to do. I did catch up on the messages. I only needed to follow up with one. The others I had already taken care of. On our Comcast line you press Star99 to start the process. Nice to have another thing done with minimal fuss!

    :heart: Margaret
  • Katla49
    Katla49 Posts: 10,385 Member
    Beth near Buffalo: I am so sorry you are catching your DH's cold. Cold germs are had to escape. :ohwell:

    Becca: You will be missed. :sad: I hope you change your mind and come back sooner rather than later.

    Heather: I am delighted that your son has found such a terrific girlfriend. Yay!!! :flowerforyou:

    Joyce: I think of this group as a sisterhood, too. In the early days for me on this group you had great advice for my DH, who had just been diagnosed with MS. It was a great help to us both. :heart:

    Karen: I agree that Olivia is gorgeous. :smiley:

    Lenora: I drink coffee every morning, but rarely after lunch. I don't like to have anything acidic too close to bedtime because it gives me acid reflux and that doesn't feel good at all. :ohwell:

    Barbie: I'm glad Jake felt well enough to drive home after his procedure. Yay!!! :bigsmile:

    SueBDew in TX: I am so sorry for the loss of your friend. :sad:

    Barbara on the S Oregon Coast: The rules with alondrate/fosamax are to take it first thing in the morning with lots of water on an empty stomach. Then you need to sit up straight or stand for half an hour so that it goes all the way down. No bending over, tooth brushing or coffee until the half hour is up. That is why I take the once a week version rather than the daily version. Good luck with finding the right balance for you. :star;

    Sharon: DH uses the scooters in Costco, too. They are invaluable. :flowerforyou:

    Kate in Liverpool: I think you are swise to take care of your health now so that you can enjoy your life to the fullest as you age. We're all aging, & I'm so pleased I found MFP. I'm doing much better because of it, and the support from all of the women here. :flowerforyou:

    Allie: I have no sympathy for Tom and I don't think you should either. He's manipulative & needs to do what the court orders. :devil: I agree with Michele. Don't let your kind heart allow Tom to cheat you of your rightful support. :noway:

    Barbie: I enjoyed the figure skating & ice dancing. I've also watched skiing. I liked the biathalon in previous Olympics but the trials in Europe were not as interesting to me this time. I think it was because of the relatively small course in the middle of town. The scenery has been stunning when the TV cameras give wide shots. :smiley:

    Margaret: Not every person gets along well with any particular medication. Your mom's experience with fosamax/alondrate doesn't match mine. I was told that it works best when a person engages in regular weight bearing exercise. It is not as effective for those who are sedentary. Between horseback riding, yoga & dog walking, I get lots of weight bearing exercise. This is the key to good results. :flowerforyou: PS I also take Vitamin D3 every day. I depend on food and a multi vitamin for my calcium. The calcium tablets I used to take contained fillers that didn't agree with me. :ohwell:

    Heather: Your son and his lady look happy and wonderful together. We have a couple of bowls in the same shades of blue and gray as yours. I love them!!! If I remember correctly, we found them in an Asian market in Beaverton, OR. :smiley:

    Kate, UK: DH & I have been taking turmeric for several years. I buy capsules & get them at Costco or Walmart, depending on what is convenient. If you look it up online, you'll find a list of benefits. It is also a delicious staple in many Middle Eastern dishes. In my case, I think it has helped combat the more negative effects of my acid reflux problems. I had my gallbladder removed many years ago due to horrible pain caused by a single robin's egg sized gallstone. It would block the bile duct, and that is what caused pain. I have never regretted the surgery. I hear you on the, "if it ain't broke don't fix it" policy. I feel the same way. You will know if & when you need surgery. :star:



    Yoga today and I need to get dressed and go. Have a great day!

    Katla in beautiful NW Oregon

    "So many of us believe in perfection, which ruins everything else, because the perfect is not only the enemy of the good; it's also the enemy of the realistic, the possible and the fun."

  • evie1958
    evie1958 Posts: 863 Member
    Becca, take care! Hoping the next few months are good to you.
  • GRITSandSLUTSandWINOS
    GRITSandSLUTSandWINOS Posts: 2,573 Member
    Allie - I agree with others ... stop being a 'chump' for TomCat. He hasn't and won't change ... you can't change the spots on a leopard (or any animal ... they go skin deep). Let your attorney 'know' what he has said ... she can bring that up at the appropriate time to the court. Letting the court 'know' that he has told you that he can't afford to pay you anything. You need to stop paying any part of any marital assets. He can sell the house and give you ALL the proceeds to it (or the FL home). That way you can put it into a good investment and take out only the interest earned. I would not give him an inch. He is trying to 'put the wool over your eyes'. I don't know if it can be done in the state where you live; but, my sister's alimony was considered a 'settlement' therefore she wasn't required to pay income taxes on it, her 'ex' did. Worth asking your attorney about it. You don't want to end up getting a big bill from the IRS for income you have been getting over the year that taxes have not been paid on during the year. I don't care 'how nice he has been since the separation' ... he is still a TomCat - lower than a 'snake in the grass'. Don't trust him ... if he did not deserve 'trust' before the separation, he still does not deserve it.

    I'd go with allowing the court decide what he should pay based on the evidence you present. IF he still has that DUMB-@$$ as an attorney (if he even had one to begin with) ... he/she must still not know what he is doing. Alimony, like child support, is generally based on certain factors and considering them all - a % to be paid. He has to turn over all his financial records including property, checking, savings, funds invested in stocks or bonds, insurance policies and who is named as beneficiary. People having to pay child support (and probably alimony as well) are generally ordered to carry a life insurance policy in he amount that would pay the C/S (maybe alimony as well) to last through the children reaching a certain age. I would think that TomCat being ordered to pay alimony in a certain amount until you pass away ... he'd need to carry a life insurance policy in an amount to carry you through whatever age is determined by the 'life expectancy charts'. I know when I worked as a paralegal and someone got injured bad in a wreck that put them out of commission for the rest of their lives ... one of the things that was asked for was insurance benefits. TomCat could be ordered to keep a policy in full force and effect with you as the beneficiary, so that 'if' he died the next day after court ... you would get the insurance proceeds. Then he would have to prove to the court on a yearly (or more often) basis to show that the insurance was being paid for. I would not say that his should be the only way to get $$$ out of him; but, it would protect you to receive a check you could use monthly to pay bills if he died early. You should not have to carry one on yourself. TomCat has been paying his bills ... unless he has buffaloed you into paying a portion of them since you are just 'separated'. I would push for the divorce to become final ... even 'if' you have not come to a settlement. Mainly because a creditor would be looking for you to pay any bills if he dies and the estate goes through probate. One thing to remember is ... a 'divorce' will void and null any Last Will & Testament either of you have made (naming the to be the beneficiary or executor/executrix. Does TomCat have children of his own? Has he transferred property or changed the beneficiary of his insurance policies? I don't doubt that TomCat would 'hide property' if given the opportunity.

    Just IMHO!!!

    Lenora
  • evie1958
    evie1958 Posts: 863 Member
    Rita, it looks like something that one should stay far away from!! lol My hubby has not seen or spoken to his mom since May. She is in a long term care home with dementia and doesn't really seem to remember him. When we saw her in May, she acted like she knew him at first, but then looked at me and asked him if I was his wife. We were weeks away from our 36th anniversary. Then she looked at me and said "it's so lovely to meet you". She was phoning hubby for awhile, and she would beg him to come and get her because she'd been abducted, didn't know where she was etc. Very stressful for hubby and his health is already at the point where he just really doesn't need the added stress. I just take my cues from him and say nothing. I did what I felt I had to do when my parents were ill, so my conscience is pretty clear there, he needs to do what is right for him and my job is now looking after him.
    Heather, your son and his lady look so very happy! And her craftwork is certainly lovely! What a thoughtful thing for her to do.
    Allie, I don't thing you should be talking to Tom about money either. You have a lawyer for a reason, let her do the talking. You already have a huge pile of stuff on your plate with taking care of your dad, you don't need the added stress of his sob story. Glad you were able to get the medical POA with no problem.
    Olivia is just such a little sweetheart!
    Truly do enjoy seeing the photos of all the grandkids and furbabies, unfortunately have a memory like a sieve when it comes to mentioning them all! They're all so cute!
    Sharon, hoping that a few days off will give your back the rest it truly needs!
    Yesterday went well, but fell off the rails a bit last night. I worked til 6, then wanted to stop at the grocery store as it is on the way home from work, then had to stop by my boss's house, so called the pizzaria that we both like and told them to make us dinner, so had pizza for dinner.... It was good, and so nice to not have to start cooking at 7:15, which is about when I got home. Fridays are truly tough for me. Oh well, at least I have a job that I like! Oh and the cookies called too..... I know I didn't have to answer, but I did anyway. sigh.... I did get to the gym yesterday morning, so that will help, and I did try to do a bit of walking during the day, and I will try to be better today and tomorrow and so on. My wi day is Wed, so I do have time to undo any bad things that I have done. I must say that although my eating is a bit out of control, it's still not as bad as it has been at times, so that's a small victory.
    Weather is very gloomy and damp, but I'm not complaining because the temp is up around 8C, definitely a temp that I can live with!
    Hope everyone has a great day/night!
    Evelyn, Vancouver Island
  • KJLaMore
    KJLaMore Posts: 2,847 Member
    Betsy, Carol, and Katie- Chiming in real quick before I finish reading all of the posts. My mom had straight hair, until chemo. When it grew back, it came in curly. My hair is fine, but there is a LOT of it per square inch. I used to keep it long, but the way it would mat at the nape of my neck was such a pain that I wore it up ALL OF THE TIME. SO...it is cut about chin length now. Hubby hates it! >:) I want to go shorter.
  • cityjaneLondon
    cityjaneLondon Posts: 12,693 Member
    Evelyn - Strategy is stronger than willpower. Make sure you always have a healthy meal ready to heat up on Friday nights. You could cook it anytime and just stick it in the freezer and put it in the fridge on Friday morning. You don't need to resort to fat and carb heavy pizzas. It would only take minutes to heat through. I have no energy for cooking in the evening so I prep and cook after lunch. If I were working I would batch cook more (I already do) so at weak moments I didn't have to resort to takeaway. Cookies are death. Never surrender to their siren call. ;):*:D

    Love Heather UK xxxxxxx
  • Katla49
    Katla49 Posts: 10,385 Member
    Allie: Listen to Lenora and then follow her good advice! She has expertise and wisdom regarding your situation with Tom. :flowerforyou:

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