WOMEN AGES 50 + FOR FEBRUARY 2018
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Rye - I love seeing your gorgeous kitties! How are your outside visiting kitties doing? And how are YOU feeling? Better, I hope!
Allie - if your dad indeed did have a will - did you know for sure? (sorry, you probably said and I skipped right over that post), is there any chance he would have told a friend or coffee pal about it? Are there any bills/correspondence from attorneys in his files-which might be a clue as to who would have done it for him? You have probably racked your brain for all possibilities. Good luck.
Becca - sending good thoughts to you and your DH tonight.
and ((((HUGS))))!!
Wendy - hope you are finding things to keep your visitors busy. Maybe the weather will clear up and you can spend time outside!
Pip - Lenny was so lucky to have you in his life. And now you and Kirby have each other. Such a love story!
Lenora and Joyce -- sending hugs your way for quick healing!! So glad you are able to post here!
Lanette
Chilly SW WA State3 -
Took a hour and a half nap,made myself a nice dinner and watched the movie Sing.. very cute... working up in Hartford tommorow... Don't like it much but do what my boss asks...4
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Just joined MFP and looking for few groups to follow. I love all the posts here! What a strong group of powerful women! So my February goals include:
Signing in to MFP daily
Going to yoga class 2-3 times/wk
Walking 2-3 times/wk
Staying positive7 -
⛄️⛄️⛄️0
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YRye - I love seeing your gorgeous kitties! How are your outside visiting kitties doing? And how are YOU feeling? Better, I hope!
Allie - if your dad indeed did have a will - did you know for sure? (sorry, you probably said and I skipped right over that post), is there any chance he would have told a friend or coffee pal about it? Are there any bills/correspondence from attorneys in his files-which might be a clue as to who would have done it for him? You have probably racked your brain for all possibilities. Good luck.
Becca - sending good thoughts to you and your DH tonight. and ((((HUGS))))!!
Wendy - hope you are finding things to keep your visitors busy. Maybe the weather will clear up and you can spend time outside!
Pip - Lenny was so lucky to have you in his life. And now you and Kirby have each other. Such a love story!
Lenora and Joyce -- sending hugs your way for quick healing!! So glad you are able to post here!
Lanette
Chilly SW WA State
I am very blessed. As much as I loved Lenny, I am a true believer of everything happening for a reason. It may not make sense at the time but if u pay attention, it will come to you. Lenny had to die so I can meet Kirby. It kills me but it’s true6 -
Hugs everyone! ERCP planned for tomorrow afternoon. Probably staying overnight tomorrow. At the hospital here now. I have a roll away bed for me! He is doing well. Wanted me to help him wash his nawty bawdy bits! Haha! His eyeballs are still so yellow!
Becca4 -
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So, I just typed a huge introduction post and it got deleted.
So...I'm going to try to recoupe...
Been using MFP for several weeks.
Chronically ill and totally disabled for over 11 years. Lost my career, have been penniless since.
Too many illnesses to get into. Some are common some are rare, they affect my neuro, endocrine, and immune systems.
Artist, naturalist, writer, rebel, hedonist.
Husband and I are on the outs for over 2 yrs, live in a tiny cabin in Colorado. Isolated and friendless.
I have been proactive, and am totally wholistic in taking care of myself.
But I'm struggling.
I've been eating some form of restricted diet for over a decade.
I'm f@#king sick of it.
Last year my menopausal hormones went wacko, and all illnesses got 10x worse. Fertility test said I'm about a year away from full menopause.
I've been eating very wholistic, reduced calorie diet and healthy, no junk since Dec 31, but due to Hashimotos disease and endocrine issues, I'm barely losing.
Tonight I hit the wall hard and decided to try to find some real, intelligent support, so this is my 1st post in this forum.
I want a damn gluten free pizza. I'm sick of stuffing my face with vegetables. I'm a foodie. The vegetable thing has gotten old.
Today I struggled all day to prep and make healthy food for myself, yet it never seems good enough. And now I'm exhausted and in pain.
So I want a damn pizza. I don't need sugar. No chips. Just pizza.
I want this all to end. I've seen 32 doctors, received hardly ANY help. And totally conflicting dietary advice! I need to lose weight. Exercise causes post exertional malaise.
Where's my Roadster to Mars?? I'm ready. Or else, I would LOVE to just be able to stop eating and never want food again.
I know...what a *great* introductory post.....12 -
grnwoodtree, Welcome. We are glad you are here. You definitely have a big pile of challenges. I hope you'll keep coming back. This is a friendly and supportive group and you may find suggestions here that will work for you. You will at least find other women to talk to and create a warm community for yourself. You aren't the only one who wishes for a way to get off this endless hamster wheel. Hang in there.Becca, Best wishes to you and your husband on his surgery. Glad you are there with him. It sounds like he hasn't lost his sense of humor. Didn't accomplish much today except walking the dogs, folding laundry, taking a nap, and riding the bike while watching figure skating on TV. Barbie from beautiful, cold, sunny NW Washington 4 -
Grnwoodtree, make yourself a pizza! You sound so OVER it all and depressed. Do what you need to in order to become strong mentally. Whatever your system can tolerate, gluten free or coconut flour or vegan cheese, just get something as close to PIZZA into you. And then for the next six days eat your veggies. We can't be perfect 100% of the time. We need to give ourselves a break now and then.
Sisters, I am having a mini-break right now from the visitors. They are visiting some other people then returning to our place tomorrow night. I have tried to cope as best I can but it throws me so out of my routine. I feel like it might takes weeks for me to be able to focus and knuckle down again. I am making the best of it, as I always do, but it is draining and disruptive for me. I have actually set up a secret spot in my craft room and put an armchair, kettle, cups, mochachino sachets, my journal and current books. There I can start my mornings with no interruptions. This has worked out well for me!
It really annoys me, some of the things they do such as insulting my daughter, the one who has just come out of emergency surgery and is still recovering...because her room was untidy, and also warned her not to touch the cheese they had bought which was in the fridge!.(My daughter was furious and barely able to contain herself from answering back), back handed insults to me such as going on and on about her step-mother's house which is full of cats and the dog has chewed the carpet etc. Well so is our house. They live here. You don't. And trying to manipulate me into paying for things when we go out...such as 1. not having any cash and the place doesn't take foreign credit cards 2. being very slow to pull out the purse and waiting for me to step forward to buy the drinks, food etc. 3. Assuming that I am paying for her ticket into the movies that she wanted to see! Always making sure that I am the first one to reach the cash register then standing back as if she doesn't have to pay!
This person has 10 times more money than me. Probably 100 times! AND she knows we are particularly broke at the moment and can't afford to fix the van etc. There was no offer to pay for gas as I drove her all around the past two days. I wonder why she is like that, but she always does it so it is deeply ingrained. I bought groceries and wine and made them a nice dinner the first night (and my hubby ended up doing all the dishes by himself the next morning while I was out feeding the animals) but then when she wanted to go to the supermarket the next day, I just walked around and didn't get a shopping cart or buy anything. If I have a cart, she just adds her stuff to it and then I end up paying for it all. Didn't trick me this time though. I went through 3/4ths a bottle of wine just to take the top off my anxiety. And SHE is the better one of the pair. Luckily I managed to stay as far away from him as possible.
They are actually going to be returning a third time, over the next two weeks, so this is an ongoing saga that I must try to eject from my head. I am venting. But now I am done. LOL I am going to focus on my goals now.
Drink much more water. Reduce sugar intake. Eat the same breakfast and lunch every day. (This has never happened but I think it would be good to try to achieve it.) Increase my kettlebell workouts. Wendy 10 -
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Hi Gals,
Barbie – thanks for keeping us going!
So goal for January was participate in logging and this forum on a semi-regular basis, and I did it..
Feb goal is January + I want to log my food 20 + days…when I log I lose… so I need to log.
Janetr – excellent !!!!
Allie – thinking of you.
Rye - I have found quite a few I love that are part of NPR; TED talks; Stuff you missed in history class; Stuff you should know; Food Stuff; Ridiculous History; The food Programme (BBC)
Barbie and Jake – glad you are figuring out the health issues! Take care
Karen Virginia – what great pictures of Olivia
Lisa – so glad to hear about John
Heather – sending hugs to you and good thoughts to him!!! *** Later *** oh good he’s back to work, now the long hard work begins; your DIL is especially suited to handle this.
Becca - ((((((hugs)))))
So I’ve written bits and pieces over many a day as I try to catch up…
I will be short of my goal as there are not enough days in Feb to make it, but I have been in a whirl wind, and have made some good choices and of course some not-so- good ones ….
I have a once a year catering job for a super bowl party, this year there were 36 people; so I did that and this year I made chicken rollups – you pound skinless boneless chicken breasts then spread a filling on roll up like a pinwheel, wrap with bacon and then bake. Slice into “pinwheels” and serve, a very pretty presentation - I made 3 kinds of filling, cheddar with caramelized onion; spinach, mushroom and ricotta; and Kalamata olive and cream cheese.
They were tons of work, everyone loved them, but too much work for that many people.
Then tonight I had 6 folks I work with as a gardener at camp to dinner, and did a vegan Shepard’s pie, beer bread, and cherry/blueberry pie…
Things with my housemate are not going as I had hoped, we have had one conversation, and may need another – I am better at stewing on something than facing it head on.. I have learned she is a bit of a slob and not patient at all, so has broken glasses, the blender, run spoons through the garbage disposal – she’s replaced everything she has broken, but good grief! This semester is over in late May, and she doesn’t know it yet but she’ll be moving on after that. Our agreement was for a month or two, but it is clear to me that her plan is longer. I’ll make it clear the beginning of April, probably even put it in writing.
Smiles
Kim from N. California
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Hi all,
I'm up early and letting DH sleep on. I've had 7 hrs sleep and feel refreshed.
I will take him up a cup of tea very soon.
Please can all the new people put their NAME or NICKNAME at the end of EVERY post with a vague LOCATION, so that we can remember who you are. Some of us are quite elderly. :laugh:
Kim - Wow! That does sound like a lot of work! Tasty though! Personally, I would make your intentions clear with your housemate as soon as possible. If it was just short term then she should already be making plans. I'm the kind of person who can't stand ambiguity, so I would have to have the boundaries and timetable well set out beforehand. I'm always clear, whether I'm a guest or a host, when is arrival and when is going. Sometimes you just need to take a deep breath, open your mouth and discuss it. It's never easy, but it's so worth it for peace of mind.
My DDIL is very well placed to handle my son, but I also know that she won't take any more nonsense from him. I'm sure he is in Last Chance Saloon. She will put her sanity and the children's first. Good for her! She has been tolerant of his drinking and allowed the occasional excess, but this latest episode has abused her trust and put the family's well being in jeopardy. I know she is strong enough not to allow that and will take the hard decisions. He has sooooooo much to lose. But, as we all know, seeing it and doing it are two different things. As he works in the drinks industry, and his job involves entertaining and schmoozing, I don't think the chances are very high. He would be better to change his job. DDIL may be suggesting that.
I am not interfering as I don't think it would be helpful. He is 38 and an intelligent person who knows the score. He just has that streak in him that needs to push too hard and go too far. He is competitive and a risk taker. Finding something to take the place of his beloved wines, which are now in the shed, and his carefully curated spirits, ditto, will be tough. Perhaps he ought to take up running, like me! :laugh:
Love Heather UK xxxxxxx6 -
Kelly - those kids and Moms are so lucky to have you. I hope you did get a chance to elevate your leg.
Lisa - My granddaughter has the diagnosis of borderline personality disorder also. It is a difficult thing. Courtney asked me for money. I am sending her a gift card for groceries and suggested that she supplement with the food bank.
Rita - Yes, it has become more difficult with the Spanish. I haven't used the Tinycards app. I just go back and do the weakest words on each and then do the strengthening last. My daughter and I try to text each other a few sentences in Spanish daily.
Becca - I'll have to snap some photos of my living room. I think you would like the colours. Can't take credit though. I have a bit of an idea and Jheri runs with it. I do have to restrict her with the budget but she is very good at upcycling things.
Sending you lots of hugs. Your poor hubby has sure been through it. He has a strong spirit. Praying they move up the operation and that it gives him relief.
Joyce - Beautiful photo of the girls. Love that red dress.
Terry - You need to post a photo with the helmet on. Let me know how it works. I would do almost anything to help my poor balding head .(caused mostly by my body's reaction to anaesthetic so they say)
Allie - Wishing you luck in locating a will.
I loved the movie Sing. My granddaughters can't resist dancing through it.
Kim- Sorry you are having roommate trouble but at least you know it is short term.
Yesterday I didn't leave the house. I didn't even poke my nose outside, just stayed inside, puttered around, cooked, watched Olympics and did my duo lingo. So nice to be warm for the whole day. Larry returned home around 1:30 and then went to the auto swap meet. Usually his brothers come for this but not this year. He spent 3 hrs. there catching up with his car buddies.
Today was spent in more cleaning, laundry. Keira wanted me to watch her while her Mom worked because her big brother is "too boring and too bossy". We had planned on getting groceries so picked her up and took her to Costco. We got busted for her riding with me on the scooter. "Can you read? It says that isn't allowed right there." Keira wondered if we would get a ticket or be arrested. She wanted a dress that I refused to buy because she has lots. She had her own money and said she would pay for it. We went way over my budget so I had a look of shock when I heard the total. Larry decided to pay it. He did just sell one of our many trucks so he had cash. We were over because he was shopping. He bought meat we didn't need. He has decided he wants to grind his own coffee beans so that was an extra $20 when we have 2 full cans of coffee at home. In the end Grandpa decided to buy the dress. It does look great on her.
Back to work tomorrow and it is going to be a cold one. Reading about Mary in Arizona I was reminded of our vacation years ago in the Apache Junction/Mesa area. We were the crazy Canadians in shorts while everyone else was wearing jackets. I got one heck of a sunburn.
Had a great visit with a friend via phone. It was amusing listening to her story of adopting a feral kitten. Brought it in on a very cold day. Toby isn't pretty but definitely has her heart.
Have enjoyed watching snippets of the Olympics. I always enjoy watching the figure skaters.
-Sharon in Lethbridge where it is still white and COLD4 -
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Wendy Take back your power...no more visits from these people....no more....I know that your DH is friends with the husband, but the description of his wife is the opposite of friend....no. more. visits....take back your home, your time, your money, your peace
Kim I agree with Heather tell her sooner, ambiguity is just going to prolong the process and looking for a new rental takes time for folks.
Speaking of ambiguity, I took this extra gig of conducting a youth orchestra, instead of being hired for the year, me and one other conductor (a young guy with a doctorate and oodles of talent) were hired to prepare a concert, he did the fall concert and currently I'm working on the Winter concert (which is in early March). The director/board really haven't been communicating about who is going to get the job more permanently (a contract for the spring concert and a signing bonus for next year's full contract). A board member and the director took me out to lunch to discuss the position and I was very blunt telling them that their indecisiveness and lack of communication was worrying me, I was also frank about the program and things I would like to improve. Meanwhile I am not so sure I want this position, it is kind of just like my day job, in other words one more extra responsibility. Without telling me, they pretty much hinted that I am their first choice and kind of wanted me to tell them right away if I wanted the job, without telling me they were offering it to me.........confusing right???? I am so lucky that I don't need to take this job for the money, it is purely for my ego, it does challenge me a bit, not a lot, a bit. It isn't really the STRETCH I was looking for. The ambiguity of the process is still ticking me off, but I am gratefuly I had the chance to express that to them. Also, since they hinted heavily about wanting me, I need to stop feeling so insecure about it. It's funny, I want them to want me, so I can be the one to walk away from them, twisted thinking
I suppose that is why I'm drawn to this, I've got to work something out internally. DH is a lot simpler about this, do you want the extra income and extra work or not? Ladies, thanks for letting me vent. You all provide such insight and wisdom.
NYKAREN7 -
Morning, all,
Becca - thinking of you and Lee, and hope all comes out very well.
Kim - gotcha on the housemate thing, more below on our own.
Grnwdtree - we've all been heartily tired of that hamster wheel, we're glad you're here. Lots of support, and sympathy with despair.
On our side, word from son John remains positive.
Small kerfuffle, though, (in retrospect) with our living situation. For those who haven't been with us too long, we came to live with our daughter to take care of the grandkids while our son-in-law is deployed to a war zone in the Middle East. Our daughter, also Army, was in a bit of a pickle for childcare for her two-year-old daughter and six-year-old son. To say her hours are erratic is really underestimating the situation. We've been here since Nov. 4. My husband is the primary caregiver (unpaid), and I work from the house.
Kels (our daughter) asked almost two weeks ago if her dad would mind if she went to a concert Saturday night with a girlfriend up in Raleigh. We knew she'd be home late on Saturday night, and he said sure. Then it morphed into staying the night up in Raleigh (about an hour away). Then she had to leave on Saturday morning at 11 a.m., as they were going to walk around and see some of Raleigh. Then, Sunday morning, her dad gets a text saying she wouldn't be home until late afternoon, as they were going to have brunch before they left Raleigh.
She didn't text me, because she knew I'd be angry. I was. I planned to confront her when she got home about how much she's taking advantage of her dad's good nature, but he convinced me not to. The litany of little stuff is far too long to go into--but not worth a blow-up. He was right (he always is), and the brunt falls on him, not me. It just kills me that he cooks, he cleans, he washes dishes, he takes care of her kids, and then she has the nerve to manipulate it so he doesn't even get time to take a few hours to himself on the weekend.
When she got home, we just grabbed our stuff and left to get out of the house--had I said even one word, I was going to blow up. I had cooled down by the time we got back. And her dad was right--had I braced her with it, she would have simply gotten defensive, blamed it all on the friend, who was driving, and so on and so on. Useless to get into and would resolve nothing. That said - there will be no more of those incidents. The weekends are important to us - and the only time she spends with her kids. She often gets home between 6 and 7 p.m., and their bedtime is at 7:30. This week, she'll be working until 9 p.m. every night, and then she'll be out in the field from the 1st to the 15th of March, and not see them at all.
And again--we still have three months left until her husband returns, and we made a commitment. Took Heather's advice and made it plain that, when her husband comes back, we're headed out. And there is a small chance that he'll be back a month earlier than expected. Pardon me while I get down on my knees and beg for that small chance of early deliverance to come true.
The rational part of me understands that no human being is capable of being grateful for six solid months. The rest of me remains annoyed. Guess which part's bigger at the moment? Anyway - we've made our bed, and we will deal with it for the hundred days or so that remain, and try not to allow the situation to boil over into active acrimony. We'll live up to our commitment, and enjoy what time we have with these kids to make their lives peaceful and loving. Then we'll leave.
Sorry to have written a book - thanks for the space to vent.
And the weight loss is going fine. Lost nine pounds since Jan. 24, and actually trying to eat a vegetable or two.
Love y'all,
Lisa in NC9 -
Hello ladies! I'm back.. moving in the right direction, but it's SO SLOW! I want to be 139 next weekend - but at this rate, I'll be six feet under by the time that happens! Anyway - hope to keep up with this group - great bunch of ladies over 50 here :-) thanks for being here for all of us!
Marlene, Ontario Canada5 -
If you can get CBC (canadian broadcasting) search for "Someone Knows Something" - great podcastcityjaneLondon wrote: »We've decided to go to our nearby town and have a pub lunch. They do a delicious fennel and spinach salad. Yum!
Love Heather UK xxxxxxx
My two favourite veg! Wish I could have some too.
Podcasts: Any recommendations? I get impatient and frustrated with audio books, but enjoy listening to conversational style podcasts. Looking for some good ones to load in my phone so I have company on my walks to work.
It looks like we will take a mini trip to visit friends in San Antonio this month. I do love San Antonio, so I’m going to have to make some plans. Obviously an afternoon or evening on the River Walk, but I might have to excuse myself while they all have a drink or something because I’m the only one who will want to WALK. Lol. There are way too many good food options in S.A. So that will be easy. And if the weather is good, maybe I can convince them to go to the Botanic Gardens. I’m excited.
Husband is feeling better now that he’s seen the otolaryngologist, so life is returning to more normal. Thank heavens. I don’t much like grumpy sicky DH and have limited patience with him.
Mr Mustachios has not been around to visit Sweetheart lately, but a new kitty has - I call him Applesauce. All three are feral, but somewhat acclimated to people. They don’t run away, but don’t actually let us get too close either.
A picture of Applesauce:
Rye
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Good morning all! Happy Monday! Sore, sore SORE!!! Did a fair amount of shoveling this weekend (about three hours worth). I am just a bit on the stiff and sore side this morning. Went to bed last night and just built a cocoon of blankets and pillows around me and longed to just seal myself in for a couple of days. lol I made it out of bed this morning, though. Hopped on the scale to zero pounds lost. Maybe I am building muscle mass with all of the shoveling?! Oh well, tomorrow is another week.
Becca- Sending good vibes, prayers for strength and peace to you and your DH!
Wendy- Hang in there, for the remainder of their visit; but I think you need to step up to the plate and let this couple know that you will not host them again. Maybe the reason they keep coming back is that you and your DH are the only couple that they know, who hasn't banned them from visiting! Not fair the way they are treating you and your family. Shameful!
Lisa- I don't envy you, your position, right now. My DH thinks I am crazy, because I have said quite a few times, that I don't think I could handle it if my daughter and family lived with us. Personally, I think something happens when parents and kids are in the same home together. I think, more often than not, we take on the parent/child roles again. Even though Kelsey is a grown woman and mama; I think she subconsciously is leaning on daddy to take care of things. I imagine, it is a relief for her for this short time, to have some one else carry the load. Anyway, sending you lots of love and support! Glad your son is doing better!
Heather- Speaking of sons, happy your son is able to keep his position and sending all kinds of love and support to the both of you, as well!
New girls- Welcome! Don't forget to bookmark our site so you can come back each day. Most of us read and chat for that mental boost/kick in the butt that we all need. We also glean a lot of good advice from this wonderful group. My name is KJ or Kelly, I am 51 and post menopausal, and I have been with these ladies for two years, now. I found this group as I was realizing that my younger workout partners had no idea of the struggles that I was dealing with.
More of you that I wanted to respond to; but my brain is a fog this morning. Definitely Monday Brain. ttfn xoxoxo KJ (Kelly)4
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