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Is verbal harassment common at the gym? And do women or men catch more of it?

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  • bigguyreedbigguyreed Posts: 64Member Member Posts: 64Member Member
    We have15 circuit machines and if everyone is moving from circuit to circuit you can get a 20minute workout. I watched someone yelling at a person for playing on their I-phone and not even using the machine. They sat there in a daze on there phone for at least 10 minutes before the person said anything. I didn't speak up and say anything because I felt the person was right to say something. If your not there to workout and just mess around on your phone, go sit in a chair out of others way.
  • jesspen91jesspen91 Posts: 1,383Member Member Posts: 1,383Member Member
    jseams1234 wrote: »

    Meh, guy just sounds like a jackhole. I'm pretty big on "gym etiquette" and really really get bent out of shape when people don't rack their weights or try to run circuits during prime time in the main areas. However, I've never blinked an eye at what attachments are left on the cable machines. Sometimes it's the one I want to use sometimes I have to switch it out. It never occurred to me worry about it. All of ours are just usually sitting in a pile in this little depression off to the side anyhow.

    Yeah I just brushed him off but it did make me wonder whether he would do the same to the more egregious gym etiquette offenders or if he just went after me because I was smaller than him and probably wouldn't stand up for myself. If I see him again I will watch and see!
  • pyrusangelespyrusangeles Posts: 206Member Member Posts: 206Member Member
    The folks at the gyms I've been to have always been awesome. They're generally courteous, helpful, and big into MYOB. I've been asked out a few times which is no big deal- I tell them I'm married and they are friendly about it. There was only one guy (there's always THAT guy that ruins things for everyone else!) who kept making inappropriate comments to my friend and me, staring and commenting even after I tried to shut him down. He said some BS about being a guy and unable to help himself. I made sure my next objections were made loudly within earshot of the staff. He never did it again.
  • lemurcat2lemurcat2 Posts: 2,135Member Member Posts: 2,135Member Member
    I have 100% never seen verbal harassment at the gym and can't imagine how it would actually occur.
  • lynn_glenmontlynn_glenmont Posts: 6,134Member Member Posts: 6,134Member Member
    jesspen91 wrote: »
    This isn't really this particular man's fault but it's something that really annoyed me recently.

    I am a very mild mannered and non-confrontational person and I never complain about what others are doing in the gym. Not when people don't rerack their plates and I (a small women) has to move multiple 25kg plates before my workout even starts. Not to the guy who repeatedly lines up fixed barbells of various weights when doing pyramid sets rather than just taking the one he needs for that particular set. Not when groups of men sit on the benches in the weight area just watching and taking pictures of their friends so that other people can't use those benches. I just sigh and do something different until that equipment becomes available.

    I've never seen anyone challenge this sort of behaviour.

    Yet last week a man (who, to be fair to him, has never displayed this type of behaviour). Crossed the gym to call me inconsiderate for forgetting to detach the handle I was using from the cable machine. Something that would have taken him seconds to do, unlike the time it takes me to unload 150kg from a barbell. I know I'm being a bit hypocritical here but why do these bros get away with everything repeatedly and I get harassed for a small one time mistake?

    I guess the answer is to try and channel that man and speak up more but it is really hard for me.

    I don't even see how what you did is an issue. No one can predict which handle (rope, bar, etc.) the next person using the cable machine is going to want. If you leave it on, there's a 20% or 25% chance (depending on whether the gym has four or five different choices) that the next person will be able to use it without changing anything. If you take the handle off, there's a 100% chance that they're going to have to add a handle, even if they wanted to use the same one you just used.

    Yes, I'm "guilty" of this "mistake," but it seems like at least 90% of the people who use the cable machine in my gym are also guilty of it, because I would estimate that at most 10% of the time that I go to use it, there's no handle attached to the cable loop.

    Not removing the plates is just wrong. But I don't speak up to the people that do it, either. To be fair, it doesn't happen very often.
  • lynn_glenmontlynn_glenmont Posts: 6,134Member Member Posts: 6,134Member Member
    jseams1234 wrote: »
    jesspen91 wrote: »
    This isn't really this particular man's fault but it's something that really annoyed me recently.

    I am a very mild mannered and non-confrontational person and I never complain about what others are doing in the gym. Not when people don't rerack their plates and I (a small women) has to move multiple 25kg plates before my workout even starts. Not to the guy who repeatedly lines up fixed barbells of various weights when doing pyramid sets rather than just taking the one he needs for that particular set. Not when groups of men sit on the benches in the weight area just watching and taking pictures of their friends so that other people can't use those benches. I just sigh and do something different until that equipment becomes available.

    I've never seen anyone challenge this sort of behaviour.

    Yet last week a man (who, to be fair to him, has never displayed this type of behaviour). Crossed the gym to call me inconsiderate for forgetting to detach the handle I was using from the cable machine. Something that would have taken him seconds to do, unlike the time it takes me to unload 150kg from a barbell. I know I'm being a bit hypocritical here but why do these bros get away with everything repeatedly and I get harassed for a small one time mistake?

    I guess the answer is to try and channel that man and speak up more but it is really hard for me.

    Meh, guy just sounds like a jackhole. I'm pretty big on "gym etiquette" and really really get bent out of shape when people don't rack their weights or try to run circuits during prime time in the main areas. However, I've never blinked an eye at what attachments are left on the cable machines. Sometimes it's the one I want to use sometimes I have to switch it out. It never occurred to me worry about it. All of ours are just usually sitting in a pile in this little depression off to the side anyhow.

    My gym is so much classier. The attachments are piled in a milk crate (which, inexplicably, is kept about 20 feet away next a rack of barbells, instead of next to the cable machine).
  • ImSoSquishyImSoSquishy Posts: 57Member Member Posts: 57Member Member
    jseams1234 wrote: »
    jesspen91 wrote: »
    This isn't really this particular man's fault but it's something that really annoyed me recently.

    I am a very mild mannered and non-confrontational person and I never complain about what others are doing in the gym. Not when people don't rerack their plates and I (a small women) has to move multiple 25kg plates before my workout even starts. Not to the guy who repeatedly lines up fixed barbells of various weights when doing pyramid sets rather than just taking the one he needs for that particular set. Not when groups of men sit on the benches in the weight area just watching and taking pictures of their friends so that other people can't use those benches. I just sigh and do something different until that equipment becomes available.

    I've never seen anyone challenge this sort of behaviour.

    Yet last week a man (who, to be fair to him, has never displayed this type of behaviour). Crossed the gym to call me inconsiderate for forgetting to detach the handle I was using from the cable machine. Something that would have taken him seconds to do, unlike the time it takes me to unload 150kg from a barbell. I know I'm being a bit hypocritical here but why do these bros get away with everything repeatedly and I get harassed for a small one time mistake?

    I guess the answer is to try and channel that man and speak up more but it is really hard for me.

    Meh, guy just sounds like a jackhole. I'm pretty big on "gym etiquette" and really really get bent out of shape when people don't rack their weights or try to run circuits during prime time in the main areas. However, I've never blinked an eye at what attachments are left on the cable machines. Sometimes it's the one I want to use sometimes I have to switch it out. It never occurred to me worry about it. All of ours are just usually sitting in a pile in this little depression off to the side anyhow.

    My gym is so much classier. The attachments are piled in a milk crate (which, inexplicably, is kept about 20 feet away next a rack of barbells, instead of next to the cable machine).

    at my gym the milk crates with all the cable attachments are literally just 3 to 5 steps away against the wall, but everyone leaves the attachments on the floor. same with the plates at the squat racks and power racks, people that takes the weights off would not just hang them back, instead they'll leave the plates piling up on the floor(not even neatly either) when the when the things to hang the plates is right there, just half a step away. sometimes i have to dig through the pile of 5, 10, 25, and 45 lbs plates to find the clip to clip on the weights when i squat, LMAO!
  • Rogersfit1Rogersfit1 Posts: 19Member Member Posts: 19Member Member
    In 30 years of training in different gyms I’ve only had to complain once about someone not putting weights back. When I thought about it I could’ve just done it myself but one has to draw a line somewhere.
    In regards to harassment or verbal abuse I guess I’ve been lucky never to have seen it or had it towards me. I suppose it’s down to the sort of person you are if you need to give others grief
  • mackfoomackfoo Posts: 28Member Member Posts: 28Member Member
    I have had guys stand near me at the gym and talk about me. (Hello? I can hear you)

    Running on the street I have been harassed pretty regularly.
  • lil_puggethlil_puggeth Posts: 34Member Member Posts: 34Member Member
    Nope, never. I kind of wish someone would start a conversation because it gets pretty boring in the gym sometimes.
  • tirowow12385tirowow12385 Posts: 654Member Member Posts: 654Member Member
    Nope, never. I kind of wish someone would start a conversation because it gets pretty boring in the gym sometimes.

    American/Canadian male gym goers are condition not to talk to the fall less they come across as creeps, meanwhile in other parts of the world, when this happens it's just part of being human beings.
  • Carlos_421Carlos_421 Posts: 4,769Member, Premium Member Posts: 4,769Member, Premium Member
    AnvilHead wrote: »
    shaumom wrote: »
    This is a pretty easy one -

    Have you ever witnessed, participated in, or been a victim of, verbal harassment at a gym? How often - frequently, sometimes, occasionally, almost never?

    If yes, what type? Sexual harassment, verbal intimidation, insults or derogatory comments, something else?

    And, was the victim of said harassment a man or a woman (or someone who reads as a man or woman)?

    And if anyone wishes, bonus question: are you a man or woman (or read like one) - just to see if we pay more attention to when people within our own perceived group are harassed, vs. other groups.


    Bonus bonus question: if this is something you see sometimes or frequently, do you do anything about it when you see it? Or what do you think should be done about it, if anything?

    i've never personally experienced verbal harassment or seen/heard it in person. but up until recently there was a guy who constantly tries to intimidate me by trying to one-up every exercise i do. on the days i do squats, he would stop his workout, loads up the same amount of weight i'm using on the power rack next to mines without warming up, then he gets under the bar and starts grunting loudly, like he didn't even unrack the bar off the rack, he's just standing under it. from the mirror in front of me, i see him staring directly at me and grunting loudly. he would not shut up and start his set until i look at him. everytime the timer on my phone goes off, i get under the bar and he stands there to watch me squat, once my set is done i sit on the floor, start the timer, and read the news on my phone app, then he goes back under the bar and starts grunting again while waiting for me to watch him squat, and he would do this continuously. on the days i really don't want to deal with him, i would just turn my head over to pretend like i looked, and then he starts doing his quarter squats. i've reported him, to a different manager and they had him banned.

    this one guy who would purposely wait until i unrack the barbell to start bench press or squats and he will come over to grab weights just to spite me or something. like i walk out for squats, i take a huge breathe in, brace my core, and just when i am about to break my hips and knees to start the first rep for the set, the guy will come rushing over, squeezing/dodging between the barbells, trying to get to the back to get weights by the mirrors in front of me, and then i'm just standing there with over 255 lbs sitting on my traps/scapulas, i'm standing there waiting for him to get out, but he would just stand around to fiddling with the 5 lbs and 10 lbs. for bench press the guy would wait until i unracked the bar and moved it above my shoulders, then he would come swooping in, acting like he's grabbing weights beside me with his side of the body almost bumping into the barbell, it's so scary and i'm just holding the bar up until he leaves because with his body there, i can't even put the barbell back on the hooks. the gym only have 2 types of plates, the metal ones and the rubber ones, same color and brands, they're hanging on all the smith machines, squat racks, deadlifts platforms, bench press, they're just all over the entire gym, but he would purposely come over to where i'm trying to start my set, to come over to grab weights. on some days when i'm not in a good mood, feeling annoyed/frustrated, i really just want to smash his face with a plate.

    there are many other things, like i literally have a fan club at gym. i always have a bunch of dudes following me around the gym and they just straight up stare at me while i'm lifting. no matter where i moved to in the gym, they will always show up near me within 60 seconds. they just stand or sit on a machine close to where i am and they just stare without ever doing any exercises themselves.

    If supposedly having a 'fan club' bothers you so, move gyms.

    If I had a 'fan club' following me around the gym and sitting there watching me lift, the first thing I'd do is check myself to make sure it wasn't something I was doing. To say that's highly unusual is a gross understatement.

    Unbelievable, even, some would say.
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