WOMEN AGES 50+ FOR JULY 2018
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Good evening /night/ morning ladies - man this is an awesome group!
Love the horses, beautiful...cute kitties, handsome puppies... Adorable grand kids & children. Lovely gardens and crafts tended and created by lovely ladies. Diet tips, life tips, family drama advice, health tips, sharing and caring for strangers near and far. Just awesome!
Condolences to those facing loss, so many, but we are at the age where these hits start landing and damn they hurt! big hugs to those struggling with health issues of their own or a family members.
Allison - hope the test went well and that you find balance in your new condo
Barbie - glad your walking buddies test was clear, she must have been in mental hell waiting for the result considering losing her mother so recently.
Heather - the currant jam sounds wonderful - I just dyed my hair today too.
Machka - My heart hurts for you, not sure what befell your hubby but admire how you are rising to this plot twist in your life. I found it uncomfortable when day nurses came in for my Mom, hope you have a good one - sounds like you do, good tips from others, not much else I can add to their advice.
Goals - love the goals and humor you all inject - we all have drive and determination, so the laughter makes my stumbles have a bit of a softer landing.
And... Several have had camp adventures and road trips, safe travels and enjoy those carefree moments.
The delivery shopping threads have been interesting. I haven't used one before but one of my GF has been with Instacart here in Portland since it started, she loves shopping for folks.I just won a $500/26 delivery deal for mperfect produce - I am pretty excited to get a weekly delivery of fresh fruits and veggies. (I enter sweeps as a hobby - this win is from Red Hook Breweries)
Low carb, keto, paleo, Mediterranean all have good points and irritating points. I have food allergies and other health issues, so I cherry pick the plans and cobble together something that works for me. All of your tips, insights and analysis of the latest plans is really helping me fine tune my own plan.
Other then that - today is my oldest son's 39th birthday. It was a good day. Goals - doing well with food logging and shopping healthier, moving and exercise- could be better, walking about 2 out of 3 days. Decluttering - excellent. Took two bags and two boxes to charity Saturday - and three bags of clothes, 1 box and other random stuff yesterday. HEE HAW . My new tracker didn't arrive in 3-5 days - order on 6/30... It's with FedEx in Wyoming on its way, they say 14th delivery.
Be well, be blessed, enjoy your day ~ Jazzypdx/Tammy6 -
Get Your Affairs in Order Thank you Machka for that vital reminder.
Along that vein, one of the benefits at my job recently gone full time is discounted access to a legal group. We are paying for that this year, and will get our wills done (we do currently have notarized wills we wrote up with the help of a will book, but have always been aware it would be good to have a professional take a look and file it with the state for us).
We do not plan to continue this legal benefit (as it costs almost $100 yearly). So if anyone can think of any other legal paperwork that a couple about a decade away from retirement age might be well advised to think about having a legal professional vetted for us - I’d be mighty interested!
My advice, for what it is worth: passwords are so vital to so many things - get some sort of solution in place NOW! We have been working towards getting all of my MiL’s passwords - as she needs more and more help with everything - and find out weekly we forgot to get one MORE password from her as we take on things for her. Every time we can’t imagine there are more, as Machka noted, we find another group we need. And my MiL is alive, mentally all here, and kicking - just getting a bit creaky. I can not urge everyone more vehemently that it is vital to have a place ( even if it is a locked list in a safety deposit box) where your nearest and dearest can get to the passwords when necessary.
I mentioned once before, but it seems pertinent here, another thing we do is have a daily family text chain. Everyone (but especially my MiL and BiL who each live alone) texts a daily message pre 11:00 a.m. Chit chat and photo sharing is encouraged, texts about kids and pets are always a favourite, and politics and religion are off limits. This has grown from our emergency message system only, into a private family message board full of love, sharing, and bonding. Now if I could influence the pre 6:00 am risers to wait an hour or two before the text flurry starts it would be perfect! Lol
Ok, gonna try to go back to sleep if my current aches and pains (boring stories there) and hot flashes let me.
Rye7 -
Rye - How about Lasting Power of Attorney? I am still waiting on DH to agree to that. I would be sunk if he was ever incapacitated. I'm hoping we get to Hove without accident. Not sure about passwords, trying to think what I'd need them for. He wouldn't give them to me anyway. All our bills are automatic. If something ever happened to me I would like someone to tell you all, but he wouldn't do it.
Maybe I'll leave a message for my son.
I really must do something about LPA. (Says she who will put it off again
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Did not feel like going out running this morning, but got out there by 6.09. I was feeling very negative and draggy. Of course, the run sorted me out to some extent. I listened to "Concierto de Aranjuez" and "Gracias a la Vida" on my Soul Music podcasts.
I then did my normal exercises after breakfast minus 50 calories! Phew!
Total, around 850.
My low feelings are partly to do with feeling out of sinc with the national mood, which isn't unusual, cross at my tv being taken over by permanent sport, and also because of the feelings stirred up by my on going project of sorting out my writing archive. Inside there is a lot of useless rage going on, which the best part of me knows is self defeating and only hurting myself. DH appears to not understand, or not to want to hear. I'm not getting any sympathy.
I know I will get over it, but I think it is best to acknowledge the feelings that are there, even if I don't want to stay wallowing in them. I will move on.
Thanks for listening. It helps to get it out there.
Love Heather UK xxxxxxx
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up and having my tea,then onto the shower....then walk Alfie and walk Homer and Chester and then over to the test facility .. will bring the book with me to do a quick look over before going in..then on to the lawyers office at 2 pm, the reverse mortgage people are just horrendous we are trying to do our best to get it on the market and sold... so they can get there money...3
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Heather - struggling with low feelings myself today--I know the mental wear and tear of waiting out the house closing process is affecting mine, and I'm sure it's not helping you, either. Corey and I will need to get our wills revised once we're in the new house, as well, as there will be property involved at that point. I've watched other families absolutely break apart over the considerations in a will. Debating on leaving the house to the son, the equivalent amount of insurance money value to the daughter (or vice versa) and then splitting everything else between them. It makes sense to me that, if one prefers the money over the house and vice versa, they could then swap even-steven. For family members who aren't close (and my kids aren't, unfortunately), dealing with a house or other large property that must be either owned together or sold together becomes horrendous.
Also need to change the will executor as Corey's brother and his wife who were executors for our wills are now divorced, and he's pretty much descended into alcoholism.
All his other brothers and sisters are much older than he is, or exceedingly weird, so are not terribly good candidates for executor. I love my family, but wouldn't trust them as far as I could throw them when money is at stake. 
Regarding passwords, etc., I picked up a cheap journal and recorded all passwords inside it. Need to go back through and update as necessary. Each financial or important business or personal site got its own page, so that I could update as necessary. Just wanted it to not be accessible online, as anything can be hacked these days.
Allie - thinking about you today, just stick us all in your pocket, and remember that you know all this stuff, you just need to retrieve it at the right time. You can do this!
Lots of busywork to do for work and get out of the way, as I'm traveling all next week. Apologies once more to all for indulging in politics, something I'm trying not to do anywhere these days--even swore off it on my blog. Tired of that sick feeling in the pit of my stomach.
Love y'all,
Lisa in Arkansas7 -
Heather so sorry you’re feeling down, but glad you’ve got your habits in place that move you and just like that, you keep putting one foot in front of the other.
Another beautiful weather day here;I feel healed by each day I can keep my windows opened or spend time on the back porch. But...I’ve got another container garden to dismantle I have about 1/3 of the project complete and of course, as I go I think up other projects
For a teacher summer is a precious thing, I want to make good use of the time to get things done! Well after this cup of coffee, it’s off to the gym first things first. Take care everyone
NYKAREN
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Rye - 7 or 8 years ago we had the wills done, durable power of attorney for healthcare, and the "advance directive" (end of life wishes). Washington is a community property state so DH and I own everything jointly anyhow so no need for financial power of attorney.
I looked over our wills a while back, and we need to get them changed already. Since we don't have kinds and nieces/nephews live so far away, our executor is a good friend. Our attorney told us we could also bequeath some money to the local college and let their staff be the executors.
I know some banks have "trust departments" who handle these things as well. They hire someone to clean out the house, sell the belongings and property. Of course that is charged to the estate, but when we're dead we won't care. We bought some property that was handled that way and it was slick - it kept the person's kids from squabbling. It was kind of a large estate - meaning the person owned a business and many parcels of property - it would have been a nightmare for one of the kids to handle.
Anyhow, it's probably a good idea to have an attorney this one and make sure everything will fly as you want it in the state of Texas. $100 seems like a fair deal.
I still need to get the passwords organized, and make a list of what bills are autopay.
Going to be HOT here today, over 90 by this afternoon. DH goes in to the docs at 9 for blood draw and I take Sophie to the vet this morning by 9:30 for her dental.
I'm getting serious about low-carbing at the evening meal. I kind of do already, but working on grocery list. Looks like lots of chef salads coming up.
Welcome newbies and returnees!! Missing Joyce and hope she's doing well.
Have a wonderful day ladies!
Lanette
SW WA State5 -
Heather "useless rage" - I experience this, too.4
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Having said I am not concerned about a financial power of attorney, maybe I should be. So someone can make sure the bills get paid and financial decisions taken care of if whoever is left needs that kind of help. I will start checking into that.4
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I know some banks have "trust departments" who handle these things as well. They hire someone to clean out the house, sell the belongings and property. Of course that is charged to the estate, but when we're dead we won't care.
Lanette
SW WA State
That assumes you're both gone.
It's when there's one left that the problems start. One who discovers she has to turn into a raving lunatic, screaming into the phone at bank personnel who won't listen otherwise.
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I know some banks have "trust departments" who handle these things as well. They hire someone to clean out the house, sell the belongings and property. Of course that is charged to the estate, but when we're dead we won't care.
Lanette
SW WA State
That assumes you're both gone.
It's when there's one left that the problems start. One who discovers she has to turn into a raving lunatic, screaming into the phone at bank personnel who won't listen otherwise.
Machka, absolutely good point. I often turn into a raving lunatic when dealing with folks like that on the phone anyhow, I'm sorry to say.
They MAKE me do it, lol.
Lanette4 -
wildhorsewendy wrote: »Here, Mani is giving Lady advice: "The beach is a good place to visit, but don't drink the water!"
Wendy, I love this picture. It reminds me of my two dogs who are about the same color and walk together like giggling girlfriends. What joy they must give you. 9 -
If Lucy is your profile pic, yep! Good looking cat! 1 -
Good morning group. I can only stay a few minutes. I had a horrible panic attack yesterday when I got home from therapy that lasted 30-40 minutes during the worst part, but then it lingered on into the evening. I am wiped out. I have a call into my therapist. Don't know what she can do, but I thought she should know about it. I reached out to my S-anon group and was texting with about 8 people last night. DH had his friend call the wife, who texted me too.
All of your pictures are awesome and I really enjoy them.
Max the dog has malignant melanoma and a very rare and strange presentation, so for this type, there is no treatment at all. He has about 6-12 months. Haven't heard about the brain surgery; she wants limited information given out.
Take care all. Stay cool; the heat index here is 105 today. Bleh. Meg from the oven in Omaha12 -
61, clear view to the ocean, another beautiful day in paradise.
Tumble did a little better at CGC class yesterday except for barking at leader for trying to lift her tail for one of the tests. Didn't stay for the pack walks so short on steps. Also meant I remembered to go to the RFPD board meeting this time, instead of falling asleep and forgetting. As board secretary, I take minutes. My skill but also my curse. When everyone gets talking at once I cannot follow and get frustrated. Tried to get them to take turns, but was gently shut down with one saying "you don't need to take note of this we're just talking." Recently read in the paper that our county commissioners do not use Robert's Rules in their meetings. Explains a lot. [sigh]
Margaret, thanks for your thoughtful post. "Does this food nourish me?" a good pause to bring mindfulness to my choices.
Pip paring down staff to improve bottom line, without a thought to the cost of losing customers due to loss in quality service. Big biz. Foo. ConVERY grats on your 2300 day streak! Can you see me smooching your pup on my screen?
Mary great news about your daughter, such a scary time.
Katla back in Boise you dared not leave your car windows rolled down even a little bit during zucchini harvest time...
Barbie healing intentions to Jake and supportive hugs to you.
Wendy (hugs) for you and your DD2. Campground with a hot pool? Like a hot spring?
Lanette great A1C news! You're inspiring me to look at where mine was last time [shudder]
Michelle, looks like NC has the same zucchini solution as Boise
Machka sound advice. I've put passwords, list of folk to contact with phone numbers, list of monthly bills in my desk pencil drawer where anyone looking for them can find them. Now to get off my butt and persuade Joe we need wills, medical powers of attorney, final wish preferences, etc. Don't really fear someone breaking in and getting passwords, we live fairly remotely and someone is nearly always home. Want to make it easy for Joe just in case...
Dana after the time you've had with the grands, capped by 750 miles in 2 days, I think a little day drinking was in order Hubba hubba.
JanetR your soccer comment goes twice for me and cricket.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E_6d3JBBo4s
Char from Fl belated best birthday wishes and congrats! Don't worry about keeping up, just pop in, scan and post when you can.
Jazzy Awesome decluttering!
Rye, family multi-text chain? Brilliant! Early risers and time zone differences not withstanding
Heather come here for sympathy your DH doesn't provide. Brava for running despite feeling draggy. Totally agree it helps to get these feelings out to sympathetic ears.
Allie listen to what Barbie and Lisa said. You've got this galfriend.
Lisa will be interested in how you find/decide on an executor. We have no children, I have no close family and while I love Joe's family think adding property or $$ to their emotional morass would be disastrous.
Lanette thanks for the executor ideas. Food for thought. My stepdad was executor for a dear friend of his and it was a grueling exhausting year. Not something I'd wish on a friend.
Welcome Tweenerqueen, Sea4mee in NW WA, annettekris.
Beth, where are you?
Barbara, the Southern Oregon Coastie AHMOD.
60 g protein 9/11, meditate 7/11, walk one more step 5/11, knee exercises 7/11, walk Tumble 8/8 times, SWSY 0/2, hang up or purge art 0/18 -
Did a workout on the bosu today. The plan for tomorrow is to do a Cardio Strength Challenge workout. Then I’m going to go to this luncheon with the Newcomers. Vince doesn’t want to drive all that distance. To me, it’s not that far. And it’s not like we can go every month so I think it will be nice to go.
Well, the rhinestones on my firefly seem to be holding. I’ll post a pic of my “latest”. One of my seahorses should be fired Thursday so I’ll be able to pick it up Monday. The other seahorse will go in the condo (since I don’t like it as well…lol). When I get the one back, I’ll post a pic of them both
Barbie – what great news for your walking friend!
Katie – “Question for the low-carb followers: how low do you go? I was looking at one plan that was 20 or less grams per day. The sample meal plans called for 8 oz of meat at one meal and only 3 cups of veggies all day. I don’t think I can do it. No carrots, no caffeine, no fruit. It said you could have all the meat you wanted if you were still hungry. Just thinking about eating all that meat or eggs with no toast or grits makes me want to gag.” I’m with you, it would make me gag, too. Only I can go without the toast or grits. My biggest problem is that I want more veggies and fruit than a low carb diet will allow. I can live without the caffeine, too. Great second opinion. I tend to have very dense breasts, too.
Wendy – I love to look at pics of horses. I’m in awe of them. Lady and Sunny are so wonderful looking
Re – I have facebook, but I don’t post very much, maybe once every few months and only something that’s important (like when we got the riverrock, when we got the mulch, pool opening/closing)
Heather – someone told me “now is the time when you lock your car doors otherwise you come back to your car only to find that someone opened your door and left zucchini on your seat”…lol If that happened to me, I wouldn’t worry much at all.
Allison – so sorry about your friend. Good luck on your test, I know you’ll do amazing
Mary – so glad for your daughter (and you)
Char – happy birthday
Vicki – what is the name of the place in Kearny? There is at least one thing that I’m looking for, I’ve been looking high and low and no one seems to have it. Maybe they would. I wouldn’t even mind having it shipped to me if I can find it. The place we go to for ceramics has a wall with samples of the paints after they’re fired. Only lately it seems that the colors come out streaky. This isn’t just for me, but I’ve noticed it for just about everyone.
Teen – welcome! I never heard of Plexus. Tell me more about it.
See4me – welcome. Keep coming back and you’ll get lots of motivation.
Rye – awwwwwww
Annette – welcome!
Unfortunately, I started on the crab and the one paint that I needed they don't have very much of. However, this being a government facility, they get money the beginning of July so they'll put in a purchase order for more.
Michele in NC
I love your dragonfly, the colours and sparkles are perfect 2 -
No Internet again, so quick post. I’m in Utah until tomorrow then off to Nevada. Utah is beautiful ( at least the Southern part where we are.
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Get Your Affairs in Order Thank you Machka for that vital reminder.
Along that vein, one of the benefits at my job recently gone full time is discounted access to a legal group. We are paying for that this year, and will get our wills done (we do currently have notarized wills we wrote up with the help of a will book, but have always been aware it would be good to have a professional take a look and file it with the state for us).
We do not plan to continue this legal benefit (as it costs almost $100 yearly). So if anyone can think of any other legal paperwork that a couple about a decade away from retirement age might be well advised to think about having a legal professional vetted for us - I’d be mighty interested!
My advice, for what it is worth: passwords are so vital to so many things - get some sort of solution in place NOW! We have been working towards getting all of my MiL’s passwords - as she needs more and more help with everything - and find out weekly we forgot to get one MORE password from her as we take on things for her. Every time we can’t imagine there are more, as Machka noted, we find another group we need. And my MiL is alive, mentally all here, and kicking - just getting a bit creaky. I can not urge everyone more vehemently that it is vital to have a place ( even if it is a locked list in a safety deposit box) where your nearest and dearest can get to the passwords when necessary.
I mentioned once before, but it seems pertinent here, another thing we do is have a daily family text chain. Everyone (but especially my MiL and BiL who each live alone) texts a daily message pre 11:00 a.m. Chit chat and photo sharing is encouraged, texts about kids and pets are always a favourite, and politics and religion are off limits. This has grown from our emergency message system only, into a private family message board full of love, sharing, and bonding. Now if I could influence the pre 6:00 am risers to wait an hour or two before the text flurry starts it would be perfect! Lol
Ok, gonna try to go back to sleep if my current aches and pains (boring stories there) and hot flashes let me.
Rye
I love this, right now I ensure my loved ones are alive and well by checking to social media to see when they have last logged in or posted. This seems much better.
Tracey in Edmonton1 -
My Uncle used to call my Dad every evening when he got home from work. My Dad thought it was so he would know my Uncle got home. He never knew it was my Uncle’s way of making sure he was OK. One day Dad didn’t answer and my Uncle found him on the floor where he had fallen and was able to get help. The system worked.
Okie in the TX Hill Country8 -
Power of Attorneys, wills and such. - I have not given this a lot of thought yet but I guess it's something I should do.
My maternal grandparents and my parents are the only two I have ever been personally involved with. My grandparents owned close to 100 acres, plus a house and it's contents. My brother had helped my grandfather from the time he was a boy, cut lumber and sell it to pay the property taxes. We had a family meeting in the late 80's where we had to tell them our wishes. My Mom and I said Harley (my brother) should have all of the property as we for sure wouldn't be going out to cut wood. When my Grandfather died in '97 my Grandmother didn't want anything for any of us to deal with so she put the property and house in my brothers name, her car in my Mom's name. In 2005 she was sick and I was called home, but she made it through. She then went to the bank and put my Mom and Brother as joint account holders and had her name removed completely. She did this so that the "tax man" couldn't take anything. She told my Mom and Brother that whatever was in the account when she passed was mine and my Mom's, my brother already had his inheritance. It wasn't a lot, but it was very easily handled when she passed.
My parents never had a will or a power of attorney until the week before my Dad passed when my brother and I pushed them. They wrote the will out so that immediately upon Dad's passing my Brother was the power of attorney over my Mom's health and financial. Little did we know that he would have to invoke that power within 2 years of my Dad's passing. He did the financial first and then the medical. It is all done and over with now, except for when my Mom passes, my brother and I will have to pay for her funeral as there is no money for her to do it with.
I have seen families ruined though without and sometimes with the proper wills and such.
Thank you Machka for making us think of this. I'm incredibly sad for you and your husband for your reasoning for putting it out there though.
Tracey in Edmonton5 -
Very impressed with myself today, got to my July goal of walking over 20,000 steps! YaY!11
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(((Machka))) You're carrying a heavy load and have been for a long while. I hope things ease in your world and you can get a little downtime and rest. :flowerforyou:
Tammy: Congratulations on winning a weekly delivery of produce! That isn't an option here as far as I know, but your comment has motivated me to go out to Sauvie Island and visit a farm store. We've done that for years and haven't been out there yet this season. :flowerforyou:
Lisa: You're smart to have a list of passwords that aren't online. We started to write a will and didn't get it done. We need to finish the job.
Rita: The park where you are staying in Utah looks gorgeous! We have been though Utah many times, but not in that area. We were always in transit for to DD's house in Colorado. Wish her luck on getting that house sold at a fair price. She now lives in Illinois and has a good job there. If my wishes came true, she'd be back in Colorado or even closer to us here. :ohwell: "You can't always get what you wa-ant . . ."
I am going to yoga & need to leave in jsut a few minutes. Tomorrow DH has an eye appointment in Portland & I will be the driver so yoga class will be impossible. I love it for both health and social reasons. Tonight there is a free concert in the park near us, and I plan to attend.
Katla in beautiful NW Oregon
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JanetR your soccer comment goes twice for me and cricket.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E_6d3JBBo4s
Thank you for the laugh! Though I need to add, GOLF. My dad and brothers play and one brother is a golf pro. *snore*
Deb in Sili Valley2 -
M in Oz thanks for the timely reminder. It is already hard enough when someone is crisis. She reminded us to have financial affairs in order and easy access to passwords. I have heard it is also a good idea to have extra keys made too. I can also attest to having your car maintenance up to date. When my mom broke her hip DH car battery died. It had not been replace in seven years.
When we set up our trust we did the power of attorney. It does give me pause. You have to really trust the other person to do what is best for you if you need it.
I have said it before if you own property in more than one state you will need a trust. Without one your estate will go into probate in both states. A long drawn out process. I was talking to a friend whose mother only had a will and it took over a year and expensive lawyer fees to straighten it out before they saw anything from her estate. I got the bulk of my inheritance from my mom's estate a month after her passing because she had a trust. I did get a surprise about a year following her death when my brother who was executor made sure everything was paid and then the last of her estate was distributed. There were few lawyer bills. Fortunately her house was sold before her death otherwise older brother would have been a headache. He was enough of one during the process anyway. Margaret 5 -
Blessings from HOT Nebraska, where it is to be close to 100. Vicki GI NE5
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Goal for July is 5 pounds.
1.6 to go!
Off to Planet Fitness as it's quite warm outside.4 -
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