WOMEN AGES 50+ FOR JULY 2018
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Just finished typing to you when DH got a phone call on his mobile. This is unusual in itself. It was the wife of one of his very best friends to tell him that his friend had died fairly suddenly of rampant bowel and liver cancer.
This was his best friend all through uni and the friend was his best man. They lost touch for a while, as men are inclined to do, because the friend was researching out of the country, but in the last few years they have been back in touch and we have had several lovely visits. He was a very intelligent and charming man. He wrote seminal books on the Dead Sea Scrolls and was an expert on the archeology of the Middle East.
Poor DH was shocked and tearful. He talked to the wife for quite a long time. Then we had an alcoholic drink and decided to go to the local pub for our evening meal where he had a beer and fish and chips. I had prawns and squid. AF drink.
He is still processing. He is going to email a tribute and some memories of their youth together to the wife. The wife is his second, much younger than him, and just beginning to think about retirement and what they could enjoy together. We only met her once, briefly.
Definitely makes you think about making the most of the time you have.
Love Heather UK xxxxxxx14 -
Mmm, last comment on Facebook. My first marriage taught me that standing in the middle of my husband's relationships with friends or family was possibly the most thankless task in the known world. The current and final husband was informed early that I don't do that anymore.
And, because I'm a woman of my word, when I would see pictures of our grandson that my daughter posted, I wouldn't offer to show them to my husband.
I generally try to use my powers for good, but occasionally I violate that policy. So, when he got tired of me saying, "Did you see the pic of Haley that Kelsey posted?" he got his own Facebook account. 
The few of the family that are willing to ask if Corey has seen or noticed something get the pat answer, "You'd have to ask him."
Later,
Lisa5 -
Wheat and corn small street taco size tortillas, turkey, pepper jack cheese, tomatoes for lunch today! Yum!
Gym was nice today, one of the managers there, asked how I was. She had asked my husband where I was during my vertigo time. Its sweet to be missed! I feel validated when people have paid attention to my bumblings around this world. Is that wrong? I used to leave notes to no one, when I lived by myself. In case someone missed me, they would know where to look! I would return, and throw away the note. Silly huh?!
Everyone have a nice day all!
Rebecca6 -
Heather, I'm so sorry for your DH's loss, and yours.
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Lol, my stock answer is “I haven’t asked him” when people ask me about things they need to ask John himself.LisaInNCNow wrote: »Mmm, last comment on Facebook. My first marriage taught me that standing in the middle of my husband's relationships with friends or family was possibly the most thankless task in the known world. The current and final husband was informed early that I don't do that anymore.
And, because I'm a woman of my word, when I would see pictures of our grandson that my daughter posted, I wouldn't offer to show them to my husband. I generally try to use my powers for good, but occasionally I violate that policy. So, when he got tired of me saying, "Did you see the pic of Haley that Kelsey posted?" he got his own Facebook account. The few of the family that are willing to ask if Corey has seen or noticed something get the pat answer, "You'd have to ask him."
Later,
Lisa
Thanks for the Facebook sympathy, I did just figure out part of what is happening. Most of these friends are John’s college friends and MANY of them are women. These women are now married and are responsible for the family (and husband’s) social lives and interaction. I believe the irritation and hostility I experience is projection. I will endeavor to dismiss it with a kind thought for them.
As for John, occasionally he realizes that while he is blessed with an unconventional woman as a wife, there is also some ‘wifely’ tasks I don’t do. I’m just particularly aware of it at the moment because I made all the Chicago trip arrangements (It is MY father we are mainly going to see, after all) but have left the contacting and making plans with Chicago based friends (his friends) up to him. As time is getting short and nothing has been done he is getting irritated to realize I’m not going to give in on this one. If he wants us to see these people, he’s going to have to set it up. He is pouting a bit. Lol
Rye
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Rye - I love it! I too don't make plans for my hubs to catch up with "his" friends. I will mention to him that he might want to set something up if we are going to be in their area, and then it is up to him. I do make 99% of our travel plans, but then again, I only work a couple of days a week so I don't feel it is a hardship on me at all.
Okie3 -
Heather sorry for your DH loss. It is a shock.0
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Hi Sisters, it's rainy, cold and gray here-midwinter. I've been keeping the fire going and making hearty warming meals for myself and hubby. So good to be retired and able to stay at home to do these things.
My roundpen fencing is completed. Now I am going to use it as my gymnasium for the next few months. I will be wheelbarrowing heavy loads of topsoil out of the roundpen and over to my veggie garden. Then I will spread some fine sandy soil (called shellrock here) as the base so the horses will have a dry surface where they won't slip as I train them.
I am heading into town today for the first time in five days, to pick up a prescription and run some errands. I have finally managed to get my doctor to prescribe natural progesterone cream for me. It was a battle! He was totally ignorant for why I actually might need it and then said that it wasn't "on the list" of things he could prescribe. Luckily, I had a bit of knowledge and I told him that my friend's doctor had prescribed it for her and even though it wasn't "on the list" it could be compounded by a pharmacist in town. I told him who my friend's doctor was and he said, "Oh, she's an American Doctor, that explains why" I had to laugh. Obviously he thinks American women are different to New Zealand ones, or something. Anyway, I just thought to myself, maybe he will be more willing to help other women now that he has learned something new about hormones...
Heather, sorry to hear about your husband's friend passing. We went to a funeral this week for our neighbour who died of bowel cancer that spread. He only found out he had it 8 weeks ago. He was 32 years old and left a wife, a 2 year old and new baby behind. Bowel cancer is particularly hard to treat. Much better to avoid getting it. I recommend studying books like "How Not To Die" by Dr. Michael Gregor. I sure as heck don't want to get bowel cancer.
Wendy
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KetoneKaren wrote: »1948Peachy wrote: »Barbie ~ I am wondering if perhaps you did not have your privacy settings activated on Facebook. I seldom get any of the type of posts that you mentioned.
Carol, I was thinking the same thing. I have the settings adjusted so I don't see posts I don't want to see. I have so many friends and relatives scattered across the country I would miss not seeing their photos, hearing about their new babies and their graduates, etc. It would be different if the only reason I had Facebook was to see an occasional photo from one friend. It wouldn't be worth it.
Karen in Virginia
I am with you two, I have very strict privacy settings on my facebook account. My career has been in management and I would be very uncomfortable having staff find me on there. I come from a large extended family and live far away now, so this is how I keep connected and caught up in everyone's lives. I too get tired of the political and posts I don't agree with but I just hide the original poster from my newsfeed. I even have some friends that share too much hidden from my newsfeed.4 -
Yesterday missed all goals except walking Tumble and AF. Trying not to let perfect derail the good. Joe reported Tumble ate 1/3 of his cheeseburger, but refused dinner again so I'll watch her closely today and if she seems droopy will rush her off to the vet.
My friend who has suffered long and hard may now be a ventilator. Does anyone ever survive being ventilated? Getting facts long distance from him and his friend, both struggling with mental issues, is problematic. Left my number with the charge nurse, but thanks to HIPA she/they can't tell me anything. Florida is such a long way from Oregon.
CJ (((hugs))). Sharing our burdens helps. Glad you're back.
Heather tiny bites and baby steps. yeah!
KJ ditto, if we had the $$ would way rather pay someone to clean than grocery shop. No brainer. Double ditto horrified at thought of Joe doing the weekly grocery shopping, no produce and lots of canned corned beef hash and Donettes
NYKaren lovely daughter, wow 20? Thought she might be a high school exchange student What will she be studying abroad?
Rebecca (snort) thank you for the key to math word problems
Donna from Oak Park, better a week late than never!
Kylia well done for passing the baton, and for raising next generation willing to step up.
Lenora we'll miss you. Please return after taking all the time you need.
Kim, lovely cake, great steel wool vs squirrel tip!
Wendy and Tracey love the compassion over math. Alas afraid you got my compassion and I got your math, kinda. Geometry yes, makes sense to me. Algebra I have to relearn every time I need to use it. Pfaugh.
Barbie hoping Jake's follow up appt shows the odd blood test results are nothing serious. "MFP is so much more interesting and meaningful" thanks to YOU and the gals in this thread. Grateful to you all.
Carol and Karen in Va ditto about the FB privacy settings.
Lisa thanks so much for the details about unfollowing but keeping friends. I've always just ignored my newsfeed, using email alerts to check in on those I really wanted to. But I've been missing so much! Just enjoyed a few minutes newsfeed and now its time to stand UP, get DOWN on the floor and START my day.
Welcome AliceNov, let us know what you'd like to be called and generally where you are to help us keep you straight.
Barbara, the Southern Oregon Coastie AHMOD.
60 g protein 7/8, meditate 5/8, walk one more step 4/8, knee exercises 5/8, walk Tumble 5/8 times, SWSY 0/2, hang up or purge art 0/1
Do you ever really use algebra? I think I have needed to use it once since I was out of school LOL
Tracey in Edmonton0 -
Heather -my condolences to your hubby ,so sad...this is why I try and live my life to the fullest daily...
Still at work ,will be home soon.0 -
KJ & Barbara I would rather have help cleaning than shopping if everything were equal and I had the funds. But I don’t drive, so shopping can be a bigger deal to arrange when John is busy at work or out of town. And he hates grocery shopping, so it is becoming a big deal anyway.
I’ve seen the grocery pick-up services, but again, I’m not sure I’d want to allow someone else to pick my produce. So our latest arrangement is he drops me at the store, then he drives to a fast food place and picks up food and eats it in the car in the grocery store parking lot Then if I’m still in the store he’ll come in.
Unlike Machka’s mother, I’m not very organized with good lists etc., but we generally do this only once a week since John abhors it. So if I forget something, I generally just do without.
Big items, bulk staples like oatmeal, John’s coffeemate, paper towels, cokes and meat for instance are picked up in our Costco run. Every time John runs out of Coke Zero or coffee sweetener it’s time to go back to Costco lol.
When my Grandmother decided she wasn't safe to drive anymore, (she still had an active drivers licence when she passed at age 95), she had my brother drive her to the grocery store or to whatever appointment she required if my Mom couldn't do it. My brother told me once that this was his nap time. He didn't really care how long she took because he could get a longer nap. My brother has been taking care of people since he was 17, he is now 46 and this past December is the first time that he hasn't been responsible for a parent or grandparent and making sure all of their daily needs are met. He is the kindest, most patient soul and I'm so happy for him that now he is enjoying his life a little bit.
Tracey in Edmonton6 -
coastalgosgal wrote: »Wheat and corn small street taco size tortillas, turkey, pepper jack cheese, tomatoes for lunch today! Yum!
Gym was nice today, one of the managers there, asked how I was. She had asked my husband where I was during my vertigo time. Its sweet to be missed! I feel validated when people have paid attention to my bumblings around this world. Is that wrong? I used to leave notes to no one, when I lived by myself. In case someone missed me, they would know where to look! I would return, and throw away the note. Silly huh?!
Everyone have a nice day all!
Rebecca
I don't think that is silly at all, I think it's brilliant! I have a friend who lives alone, she enjoys camping and day kayaking trips alone. With technology being what it is now, she drops a pin of her location to me and we set a time for me to hear from her. If I don't hear from her, I'm to contact the local police department to start a search. To be totally honest, sometimes I forget about her and she forgets about me, but it's never more than a few hours more than it should be
When I was a young person with a brand new drivers licence, my Grandfather panicked every time I left the driveway. There were three ways that took you to the neighbouring town where all the boys were. I had to tell him which road I was taking and call when I arrived at my destination. That way they would know which road to take in the event of an accident or breakdown. One time I did break down and only had to sit in my vehicle for a couple hours when Grampie pulled up to rescue me. Fond memories.
Tracey in Edmonton4 -
Heather - condolences to your husband0
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well I am home and more paperwork from lawyers for my dads estate,.... ugh
going to bed.1 -
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I will be 50 this month and hoping I can participate in this message board. Needing some motivation! Thank you, Denise7
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Lll0
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stats for the day:
bike ride hm 2 gym- 7.12min, 137mhr, 13.3amph. 1.5mi= 72c
apple watch- didn't turn on, oops
MANUAL TREADMILL- jog 14.04min, 130ahr, 145mhr, 14.03min mi, 1mi= 144c
apple watch- 153c
ELIPTICAL- 22min, 146mhr, 134ahr, 5-5, incl-resist, 2.36mi= 210c
apple watch- 239c
bike ride gym 2 dome- 5.21min, 129mhr, 16.6amph, 1.4mi= 51c
apple watch- 43c
bike ride puy 2 sumn sta- 13.37min, 13.4amph, 123ahr, 148mhr, 3mi= 127c
apple watch- 117c
jog sta 2 wk- 4.58min, 152mhr, 131ahr, 9.39min mi, .5mi= 56c
apple watch- 51c
jog wk 2 sumn sta- 4.04min, 129ahr, 156mhr, 8.54min mi, .4mi= 64c
apple watch- 52c
bike ride dome 2 hm- 18.43min, 8.3amph, 152mhr, 128ahr, 2.5mi= 194c
apple watch- 152c
total cal 9181 -
Tracey in Edmonton, that makes me feel better👍!
Love
Rebecca1
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