The Sober Squad- Alcohol Free Living
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jamacianredhair wrote: »Day 1 for me! And back to working out/counting calories. 2 yrs ago my Father passed away and I turned to liquor to help mask the pain. I still haven't fully recovered from it. Probably never will.
So here I am back 2yrs, 60lbs and I don't know how many shots/bottles later. Gotta start somewhere.
Congratulations for coming back!!2 -
"last day 1"
I'm gonna steal it
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This group is on fire!!!!!!!!!! I check in almost daily and it is great to see all the activity and tremendous support we have for each other.
I definitely think this lockdown adds a whole new stressful element to remaining AF so I just want to say how proud I am of all of us who keep up the fight for our health whether it is Day 1 or another Day 1 again or many years and all the in-between. The struggle is real and we are still fighting!
Hoping that tomorrow is a productive day in captivity OR a relaxing day locked down...I am SO thankful that our walking trail near my house is still open...it helps to get some feel good vibes & a nice change of pace to get outdoors in nature.
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Good morning, Everyone. I heard someone say yesterday, "It's April 90th". It sure feels like the month went by slowly. Well now it's May 1. The beginning of a new month always brings new hope. We will surely get out of this mess eventually. I wish you all a happy and AF weekend. Stay strong! Jen 7
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I'd like to add that I continue to be motivated and encouraged by all of you. We all learn from each other's wisdom, not only the achievements but the setbacks as well. It takes courage to write about our weaknesses and problems. I applaud you all.7
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@FeelinFooFoo, I am so impressed and inspired by you! Wonderful! Keep it up!
I've been up and down during this quarantine/lockdown. Probably equal numbers of AF and non-AF days. Problem with that, as others have said, is you never get to the good part, the part @FeelinFooFoo is experiencing right now.
I've been teaching the kids locked up in the juvenile facility via Skype. But I'm taking May off in order to teach summer school in June (Which will be in person, but that's another story). I want to make my "Maycation" a time to get my health together--taking walks, doing yoga, and being completely AF. So that starts today. I hope by June I'm well into the good part.
I needed to send a colleague some money yesterday to contribute to a gift, and I signed up for Venmo. In doing that, I had to find a picture of myself. I found one from Day 45 of my last long AF period. I looked so good!! And that was just last year, not when I was 10 years younger or anything, but I looked 10 years younger. Which means, of course, that I now look 10 years older. That was a real motivator for me. Ah, Vanity.
I hope to be participating here this month. It always really helps me. Have a good weekend, everyone.5 -
6:16 am in Vegas another 24 💖9
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One day at a time -- it really works. At the start I couldn't even think of an entire day, had to break it down to chunks much smaller and achievable.
Waking up on a Sunday morning with a clear mind and complete memory of the evening before is a great feeling!8 -
I'm doing well here. I am watching a beautiful sunset.. it's the last few days in my apartment before I move to my house. I'm quite relieved not to be drinking; I don't even have to stock up the fridge with any alcohol which saves lots of money. I love waking up sober with no hangover. I love not having to check my phone to see if I drunk texted someone something bad. I was becoming an angry drunk...
This weekend felt so pleasant; there was no desire or obsession. I used to be so jealous of other people who felt good and sober, and I felt so cursed. Now, I am feeling there is hope. Yes, I agree with the ladies above.. my skin and face are much clearer. The weight has not come down this past month, but that's because I have been eating gummy bears to help with the cravings. So happy to see you are all doing well! One day at a time...
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@RubyRed427 I know how you feel. This past weekend was so calm and relaxing and I didn't feel like I was missing out on anything. Between the no drinking and really mindful eating my skin and weight are slowly improving. If vanity has to be part of our motivation, so be it. I've been having phone consultations with my dietitian every 2 or 3 weeks and the last time I spoke with her, a couple of days ago she said something like, "some of my clients ask me if I can have a cheat meal once in a while. I don't like the word 'cheat' . Cheating sounds like you are doing something naughty. I prefer you to think of it as 'yes, I can have a treat, whenever, but it is in moderation'. So yes you can have ice cream just have a smaller amount and use a small spoon and eat it slowly and appreciate every bite."
Well, this resonated with me. Now I do not feel guilty eating my favorite treats but I put the amount that is sensible in a bowl (not taking the whole bag or carton) and walk away from it. It is actually quite pleasurable as you are savoring your treat instead of mindlessly throwing it back. After this conversation I thought (for a split second) hey, maybe I could do that with wine! Just have 1 then walk away from the bottle. I immediately banished that thought and replaced it with the truth ;
Alcohol is an addictive substance. Alcohol wants more alcohol. There is no putting the bottle away after one, at least not for most of us (if not all) on this forum.
Have a healthy day and stay strong, my Friends
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I know I just wrote a novel but I thought I'd throw in in a lower calorie, healthier alternative to mayonnaise in some of our foods. Try mixing your tuna, chicken, or Hard boiled eggs with Tzaziki sauce instead of mayo when making an egg salad, tuna salad etc. It's basically Greek yogurt with some spices. I've been using it on everything. I buy it in the grocery store near where the hummus is kept but I'll bet there are recipes to make your own on line. It is surprisingly delicious mixed with these proteins and has about 1/4th of the calories. Bon Apetit!6
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6:49 am another 24 💖,I've been doing the grocery shopping for others and since I'm in so many different stores, there are so many yum foods to buy and try so my weight has gone up a bit, also treat coffees and chocolate, nice baked goods, etc must nip this in the bud quick! Have a great day all 🌺7
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Ok so I have given myself a good swift kick in the A** and got back on track this past weekend. I was done with all of April going through the new change, I am not going to say normal because this is not normal, of the Stay-At-Home. I was a drunken fool every weekend of April!
I got my ish together and got back on track. Past weekend was wonderful. I didn't drink Friday so I was able to enjoy the beautiful weather Saturday and go for a 4 mile run. My hubby bought Jose Cuervo Light Margaritas. I did have 3 drinks but I STOPPED there. Typically I would have kept drinking and then would have gone and bought more liquor and cigarettes. This is a big accomplishment for me. Sunday I was able to get up and go for a 3.5 mile run and I DID NOT drink. I logged my food and stayed within my calorie goals. So last weekend was a winner.
@RubyRed427 I know exactly what you mean about the drunken text messages except I am a loveable drunk. So it is good not having to go through text messages telling everyone how much i love them LOL!!!!
@FeelinFooFoo I am so happy for you progress. You testimony is motivating me!!3 -
Fantastic point, Foo, thinking of the people that benefit from me being AF. There's my husband, my children and granddaughters, my mother, etc. When I think of, while raising my daughters, I was drunk or tipsy a LOT This fills me with a shame that will never go away. However I get a "do over" of sorts with my granddaughters and I want to be the very best version of me that there is. This is a big motivation for me to stay sober.5
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OK that wasn't supposed to be in all caps, Just FFF's quote.
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I get so stressed out thinking about not drinking. I hear you are less stressed when you stop drinking but I almost go into panic mode. I know a lot of people just get rid of the alcohol and don't go to the store to get more. I just can't seem to do it but if I have alcohol in the house I am all about drinking as much as I can but not to the point that I am sloppy drunk. What advise do you guys have for me? Is it a situation where I just need to suck it up?4
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tabithadaye29 wrote: »I get so stressed out thinking about not drinking. I hear you are less stressed when you stop drinking but I almost go into panic mode. I know a lot of people just get rid of the alcohol and don't go to the store to get more. I just can't seem to do it but if I have alcohol in the house I am all about drinking as much as I can but not to the point that I am sloppy drunk. What advise do you guys have for me? Is it a situation where I just need to suck it up?
The only time I get stressed out about not drinking is in social settings when people pressure me to drink and I am NOT drinking LOL! If the alcohol is not in my house I don't think about it. If I am tempted to go out and buy some I usually have to keep telling myself why I am not drinking. I remind myself of my goals I want to accomplish (weight loss) by not drinking and I think about how good I feel when I don't drink.2 -
@tabithadaye29: You've taken the first step by signing into this forum and having the intention to at least reduce, if not stop drinking. You have to start somewhere. You may also want to check out this forum: search for "Less Alcohol - May 2020". It is facilitated by MissMay (no relation - LOL). It is a forum for everyone who is interested in reducing their intake, however that individual defines it - too include those who are stopping. Many of us move back and forth. Below is a list of behavioral suggestions by @globalhiker. She used them when she was starting out. Also, the first of each month, MissMay posts a LONG list of excellent resources to help folks on this journey. Good Luck!
1-delaying the first drink (ie: set rules to start at 6pm instead of 5pm)
2-setting a time to stop the last drinking (ie: last call at 7pm)
3-spacing- drinking water in between
4-switching to lower alcohol % drinks, even if it's 11% instead of 13.5%, etc; buy smaller size cans or bottles
5-measuring (ounces) and tracking, slowing reducing
6-after reducing significantly, jumping to no drinking for one 24 hr period, done on a lower stress day and go to bed early
7-drink herbal tea, cranberry juice, or any other non alcohol beverage as a substitute
8-eating a snack, even if it has to be sugary, helps
9-stabilizing brain chemicals by doing daily exercise to boost "feel good" hormones
10-celebrate small successes by buying something small, nice (ie: an exercise top, a travel book, etc)....this helped me learn to reward myself
11-put a note on the fridge stating your day's goals
12-patience as progress can be very gradual (for me it was)...and acceptance that progress may wind up looking like 1 step forward, 2 steps back...just the way it is!
13-reducing other stressors in the home as much as possible
14-belief and understanding that today is our day to create the way we want it..6 -
6:30 am in Vegas another 24 💖7
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@tabithadaye29 ~ Keep it simple would be my suggestion. A good start is to begin by educating yourself about the benefits of being AF and the consequences of continuing the slow decline into a serious drinking problem. Craig Beck & Annie Grace are 2 good sources who have several videos to pick from to address any question you may have about alcohol and our drinking thinking that is often at the root of our drinking issue. Hope this helps.
@FeelinFooFoo You are definitely on the right track and I sense a shift in you that wasn't apparent in your other absences from alcohol. It helped me tremendously in the first year to come here & spill my beans about anything that related to my drinking issue & so I am glad to see you pour it all out. You are right about keeping it honest. Being completely honest with ourselves is one of the most important keys. You are doing awesome. 7 -
For me, moderation is not an option. It took me years to accept that fact. All the best intentions and plans in the world and before long my attempts to drink "normally" were completely out the window (and down the street, running wildly without pants).
Took me WAY too long to come to terms with the fact that booze is not my friend, it doesn't care about me, and I can live a better life without it.10 -
For me, moderation is not an option. It took me years to accept that fact. All the best intentions and plans in the world and before long my attempts to drink "normally" were completely out the window (and down the street, running wildly without pants).
Took me WAY too long to come to terms with the fact that booze is not my friend, it doesn't care about me, and I can live a better life without it.
Like you, I know moderation is not an option for me. Sure, once in awhile, I can stop at two drinks... or not drink a whole bottle of wine. Some days I don't drink at all. But I am constantly walking on a tightrope; the moment I take my first sip I never know how my night will end up. Every few days, I binge - like a rabid dog. In between the binging days, I may have a more sensible amount. And then I binge...it is exhausting living that way.
I am so tired of thinking about trying to moderate. The moderation train just isn't possible for some of us. It is what it is. I cannot moderate on most occasions, so it's a really easy decision. Just don't take a sip. I also know it will take many years to retrain my brain from being addicted to alcohol. I just am taking one day at a time.
Over the last month of being AF, I am much calmer; anxiety has nearly ceased and I have had plenty of personal stressors and situations to be anxious about. If I were drinking, I am positive my anxiety would be exponentially worse.8 -
Good morning to all. I am not sleeping well, though NOT due to alcohol. Then my insomnia would be compounded by that dreaded racing heart and anxiety. It may just be due to the current world situation we all find ourselves in. I know I am handling this pandemic the very best way I can, and that starts with being completely sober. Of course the thought has occurred to me to 'sand the edges' so to speak, with a couple of glasses of wine. I remind myself immediately that for me, alcohol is not my friend; it is a cunning enemy that needs to be kept at bay. I read so many posts on FB celebrating Cinco de Mayo yesterday, full of photos of friends drinking Margaritas etc. I felt no sense of loss or temptation as I thought I might. There are also posts from people making uneasy jokes like, "Will you come out of quarantine chunky or drunky?" I was about to comment about being sober but I thought it would come across as pious or something so I didn't say anything at all.
I wish you all a happy, healthy day. - Jen7 -
5:56 am in Vegas another 24 💖 Jen I see those on Facebook too and some do make me laugh but some are irritating like the "mommy needs wine to get thru homeschooling her kid" or whatever, just a sore spot for me cuz that was my attitude when raising my kids, I was so nonchalant about my drinking and didn't realize I had a problem and that I'd barely remember those times later and I was destroying my life at the time as well, just shakin my head at that thought now sheesh! I've tried to handle this lockdown ok but alot of the time I just feel like I'm in a fog, a dream-is this really happening?!? Yes, and as much as I'd LOVE to reopen, I also seen on the news that our US death total is 70,000+ I had hoped they'd be tapering off by now, sorry to be a downer, it's like this is just constantly on my mind and it's stressy for sure, waves to the gang and hoping everyone has a great productive AF day🌺10
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Today I am starting my journey for sober living, i need this. I hope i can do this.14
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One of my biggest challenges in quitting was sleep. After decades of basically passing out every night, it took months to get back to any kind of normal. I used to think that I was a heavy sleeper. Turns out that really I'm not.
After a sober year I still find sleep to be a challenge. In these days of working from home and sitting indoors all day, it's absolutely vital that I get outside and move for at least an hour, rain or shine. If I don't, I will have crappy sleep.
You've got this! Another hour, another day.7 -
Adding to @nuffer's & @RubyRed427's comments on moderation, if a person has to 'try' to moderate that is an indicator of a problem. People who are able to moderate alcohol do not THINK about what they are doing, they just do it. When people 'try' to moderate their drinking & establish all kinds of rules around their drinking they only are proving that they cannot moderate. They can 'try' but they cannot 'do' cause if they could they would!! They would not need to make rules such as water in between drinks, because tbh moderation is 'a' drink OR two max in an entire evening. If a person is moderate there aren't any drink(s) to have water in between. In my pre-AF days, one or two would be my PRE-drinks before the real drinking began. So glad that is past. No more enslavement to that substance...the freedom from dependence is worth the first difficult bit to get past the cravings to Numbsville!
@LaVeyan you CAN do this!! Keep coming back here for the support
Goodnight ALL....one more day in isolation under the belt and hopefully not too many more.7 -
I tried moderation, but always came back to full tilt. I also just grew plain tired of the mental gymnastics of it all. My sleep improved at first, but now sucks like it did when I passed out almost every night. I've got no issue falling asleep, just staying asleep. Welcome to LaVeyan...you can do this and you're among friends. Knowing that other folks had the same challenge helped me find my own path to sobriety. Don't be afraid to admit you can't do it alone.4
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Welcome @LaVeyan. You will find many good resources on line to help you with this journey. Craig Beck videos on you tube is one place to start. His no nonsense approach resonated with me. We all wish you well and keep coming back here, whether you remain sober or slip. It's a marathon not a sprint.
Happy Friday, Everyone. It feels like every other day these days, doesn't it? Grateful for roof over our heads, grateful I had a socially distant walk with my granddaughters yesterday. My daughter said it was OK for them to hug Granny but they were afraid because of "conovirus". It made me sad. They are only 4 and 2. They do not understand. Nevertheless our governor (in Maryland) has loosened restrictions somewhat so my daughter allowed me to see them and I was happy for that.
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