The Sober Squad- Alcohol Free Living

kelagurl

PrettyJawLine wrote: »

i moved to california and i started anew. i used to drink quite often in NY but now that im here it's as if i don't have the desire to. I have a drink maybe once every 2 months and it has really aided my fitness! I always have the energy to wake up bright and early in the morning. the thought of a hangover is horrible. who wants THAT!!!???

Right?! I had to get up this morning @ 4:30am to drive a few hours to an account out in the sticks... was thankful not to wake up feeling like $h!t... I could really get used to this. You know, even after just a glass or two of wine I’d wake up groggy. Don’t miss it

kelagurl

RubyRed427 wrote: »

Hi Friends, I was reading LIVING magazine (Martha Stewart) just now and saw a great mocktail page. I think I need to be more creative and order some of these ingredients listed to spice things up.

Thanks so much for sharing this @RubyRed427 ! I enjoy mocktails.. especially ones with super healthy raw ingredients. Makes me feel like I’m fueling up my body and treating it well.

I wanted to share something with the group... I previously shared that I was a win-o and thoroughly enjoyed wine culture and how much I’ll miss that. I recently restocked my wine rack with beautiful bottles of bubbly grape juice and other yummy sparkling juices. I drink them out of my wine glasses and add various fruits depending on my mood. It really makes me happy to be able to keep that part of the culture of wine drinking with me. I’ve read/heard mixed feelings about “romanticizing” the culture around drinking... for me it’s important to enjoy my food and drinks and I want to blend in, especially with my friends who are still drinking, I wouldn’t want to make them feel uncomfortable or bad. I don’t see the harm in mocktails, especially since people are coming out with really unique, delectable and healthy kinds!

My question to you all... do you feel uncomfortable romanticizing the drink?

donimfp

@kevinrfletcher, thanks. I totally agree that fighting this good fight is worth it. I’m just hoping that eventually it won’t feel so MUCH like a fight.

Each morning as I drive out of my garage down the alley to the street to begin my short commute to work, I pray for the day to come. For months each prayer began with my saying “please help me not do this to myself again this evening. Please give me strength today in spite of myself,” or words to that effect. Now my prayer begins “Can You believe it’s Day 32?? THANK YOU!”

Yes, it’s completely worth it. I’m just hoping day 132 might be a little less of a struggle. If it’s not I’ll still take it over the alternative.

lorrainequiche59

donimfp wrote: »

@lorrainequiche59’s post about “doing the work “ raises a question for me. Right now I don’t mind doing the work. I expect it to be work. It’s day 32, so very early in the game. But when, if ever, does it stop being work? Will there ever come a day when alcohol doesn’t cross my mind? I realize some people go to regular AA meetings years and years after they quit drinking. That sounds awful to me. Maybe someone with some years under your belt can chime in? Am I doomed to thinking about alcohol daily for life???

I don't have years under my belt but I do know this from my own experience of 11 months AF, It does get easier, but there are days or times where it isn't so easy and I have to work at it. For the most part, this is my way of life and every time I successfully resist the hard times, it equips me for the next one. I'm thinking day 132 will be less of a struggle for you. You're doing awesome. DAY 32 Woo Hoo!!!!

lorrainequiche59

@kelagurl I don't think having a creative drink in a lovely glass is romanticizing wine drinking necessarily. It makes me think of someone who is trying to eat mindfully and it is suggested to pay attention to your meal setting by making it attractive, actually sitting at a table and using nice dishes, even lighting a candle to enhance your meal satisfaction.

If it makes you happy and adds to your enjoyment of drinking something non-alcoholic & healthy then I say GO FOR IT!!

donimfp

lorrainequiche59 wrote: »

@kelagurl I don't think having a creative drink in a lovely glass is romanticizing wine drinking necessarily. It makes me think of someone who is trying to eat mindfully and it is suggested to pay attention to your meal setting by making it attractive, actually sitting at a table and using nice dishes, even lighting a candle to enhance your meal satisfaction.

If it makes you happy and adds to your enjoyment of drinking something non-alcoholic & healthy then I say GO FOR IT!!

I agree! Why should those beautiful crystal glasses be reserved for a substance that has caused us pain? Our non-alc drinks deserve the royal treatment.

walterm852

There are so many different ways to stop, but I think fellowship means a lot ... getting out of one's self ... friends with the same mission mean a lot! Thank you for all your help

RubyRed427

Here’s a positive for being sober: Last night about 8:45 p.m. my daughter calls and asked me to go and get her prescription before the store closes. So I hopped in the car and went. The bottom line is because I dont drink at home anymore; i can drive any time I need to. What a blessing not to have to worry “Am I ok to drive....?” Have a great day. I slept so awful; I actually felt like i was drunk and had a racing heartbeat, etc. Here’s to a smooth hump day! Xo

lorrainequiche59

I am almost unpacked...one box of games & greeting cards which are just going to go into another container anyway so they can just stay put for now...a couple of pics to hang and I am DONE!! OH, besides having someone hang my candle chandelier which is very heavy...i have done it myself in the past but am opting for a big strapping man to assist this round...AND the infamous bedroom blinds need to be installed...I finally got the hardware couriered to me the other day. NOW, it is just a matter of waiting for help...another thing I could likely do, but will wait for a power tool...rather than my manual screw driver!! Although.....I might try to tackle it this aft....we'll see...!

Yesterday was a day off and I got a ton done, partly cause I was up at 4:30 a.m. (I think it's my new wake-up time lol). I am off today also, but have several errands and it is pouring in my part of the world...I am so thankful AGAIN that I got in here early because if not, I'd be up to my .... in boxes still. I handed in my keys for the other pad yesterday so I'm officially living in one place...woohoo!!

You KNOW I'm thinking 'bout your upcoming move @RubyRed427 and am with you in spirit. AND yes the driving anywhere, anytime is a great perk to being sober!

SunnyDays930

@kevinrfletcher I also quit smoking years ago and I agree with you; quitting booze is MUCH harder. Obviously smoking is frowned upon and there are fewer and fewer places to do so; it was just getting to be a pain in the caboose. On the other hand, drinking is glorified and expected, even though it probably kills as many people as tobacco. Go figure. I am so proud of everyone here. We are all doing the best we can and muddling along together.

SunnyDays930

you know, you can Google anything....here's one article supporting what I just said.

https://www.webmd.com/mental-health/addiction/news/20050203/study-alcohol-kills-as-many-as-tobacco#1

xMrBunglex

This is me 10 years ago. 40 yrs old, 240 lbs, drinking Beam Black & Diet every day.


This me last week, 50th birthday, 168 lbs, 7 years, 3 months, 22 days sober.


Wish I had sobered up 10 years earlier. My 30s were a complete waste of time.

razorcut

@hollyscherer1125: welcome to the group. Drugs are a big part of my story as well. The struggle vs drugs is very similar to the struggle vs alcohol, in my opinion. Hope you stick around.

@vermontrebecca6929: thx for the podcast recommendation. I love my podcasts in the gym. You (or anyone else) have any other recs in that department?

@xMrBunglex: really nice work on the transformation....and the sobriety 👍

MaxInChicago

donimfp wrote: »

@lorrainequiche59’s post about “doing the work “ raises a question for me. Right now I don’t mind doing the work. I expect it to be work. It’s day 32, so very early in the game. But when, if ever, does it stop being work? Will there ever come a day when alcohol doesn’t cross my mind? I realize some people go to regular AA meetings years and years after they quit drinking. That sounds awful to me. Maybe someone with some years under your belt can chime in? Am I doomed to thinking about alcohol daily for life???

I've been AF for over 6 years. Before that I was drinking almost every day, and frequently to excess (I often was not able to hit the off switch). Now, most days alcohol doesn't cross my mind. And when it does, it's fleeting. So there is hope that you're not doomed to thinking about it everyday for life.

VeggieGirlforLife

I'm glad you're doing well and not dealing with alcohol cravings @FeelinFooFoo. In the beginning, I remember feeling like something great was being withheld from me, too. I used to get grouchy about it being a weekend and not being able to have wine. It did change over time from "I can't have a drink" to "I don't want a drink." It sounds like you made a good choice to have already limited your alcohol intake before going AF. I went from daily drinking all thru the holidays to cold turkey AF on Jan 1. Not for the faint of heart! I just made it harder on myself. But you're doing great. It's perfectly fine to consider moderation while you're going through the AE. You'll learn more each day if you're following the daily lessons, plus you'll learn from yourself and how you feel each day as you go longer AF. You're doing a great job, stay the course!

Happy Belated Birthday @xMrBunglex! What a fantastic, positive change you've made in your life. While there is insight to be gained from looking back, you should be proud of yourself for your choices to improve your life. In fact, I'm betting because of the healthy changes you've made, you probably feel a lot better than you did in your 30s. Congrats on your accomplishments and thanks for sharing!

xMrBunglex

donimfp wrote: »

@lorrainequiche59’s post about “doing the work “ raises a question for me. Right now I don’t mind doing the work. I expect it to be work. It’s day 32, so very early in the game. But when, if ever, does it stop being work? Will there ever come a day when alcohol doesn’t cross my mind? I realize some people go to regular AA meetings years and years after they quit drinking. That sounds awful to me. Maybe someone with some years under your belt can chime in? Am I doomed to thinking about alcohol daily for life???

I realize that I may be the exception here, but I do feel obligated to throw this out there.
I've been sober over 7 years, but it took me almost 3 years of going in & out of AA to finally lose the compulsion to drink. I've got a drawer full of 24 hr, 30 day, 60 day, 90 day chips.

I never "did the work".

Never got a sponsor, never worked the steps, never took inventory/made amends. I went to meetings - daily for long stretches - and shared, and listened. Talked to people.
When I inevitably picked up a drink, I went crawling back to AA, raised my hand, got another 24 hr chip, and started over.
For me, when I first started trying to sober up, I missed drinking. Every second, minute, day. Slowly but surely, the needle moved & after a year or two I started missing being sober when I was drinking.
I was worried about not being the same person if I was sober. Would I still have a sense of humor? (Yes. Still a smartass.) Would my wife even LIKE me anymore, much less love me? (Yes. We'll celebrate 27 yrs together in December.) Would my friends shun me, since I wasn't a partier anymore? (Only the ones with a worse drinking problem than I had. Most of them are impressed.)
Now, I can go to parties, sit in a sports bar, hell, I just got back from a week long Caribbean cruise - and didn't feel the urge to drink.
I would just say, don't let the zealots turn you off to AA. The fellowship is a vital part of conquering this. But you don't have to cut ties with your friends. You don't have to dive right into working the steps with a sponsor. You don't have to live at the club 24/7, and only go to AA events.
JUST KEEP GOING TO MEETINGS.

tuckerrj

Yup. I've got 18 months and AA and doing the work made the difference from all the other times I tried to quite or moderate...

donimfp

@MaxInChicago, thanks for the encouragement. A day when alcohol doesn’t cross my mind is something I look forward to. I can’t even imagine that right now.

razorcut

xMrBunglex wrote: »

I would just say, don't let the zealots turn you off to AA. The fellowship is a vital part of conquering this. But you don't have to cut ties with your friends. You don't have to dive right into working the steps with a sponsor. You don't have to live at the club 24/7, and only go to AA events.

This. It’s full of zealots, but there are just as many of us “non-zealot” types. Hell, I’m agnostic and yet I still greatly appreciate what the program has afforded me. To me, the fellowship has been key above all else.

donimfp

Good morning! I’d like to recommend the Sexy Sobriety site and signing up for Bex Weller’s emails. Like all these sites, she offers a course that costs money, but I’ve never spent a penny. Nevertheless it seems her emails always say something I need to hear. Today’s is about identifying what we really crave when we crave alcohol— like connection with others or just a nap.

Have a great day, all!