The Sober Squad- Alcohol Free Living
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@JenT304 Me too! Last weekend I skipped logging-on for a couple of days due to repeated "server down" error messages. BTW, I mostly post on Less Alcohol, but I like reading this message board as well.
I see you signed up for the program (I can't remember the name). Let us know how that's going. I also like reading both boards. xo
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FeelinFooFoo wrote: »Another victory ! 👍😝
My brother said he was off to shops, for whiskey & beer. Now, usually, that would have been enough to twist my arm. Not this time. I had a fleeting thought about alcohol earlier, work was a bit challenging today and it was always my usual 'go to' after such a day. But I'm getting much better at taking the next morning into consideration. I have plans for tomorrow anyway, up early to the paint store so I can re decorate my bedroom and tidy the house. Gona paint the room lilac with white woodwork. Think it's gona look really relaxing and will go with a new picture I recently bought and a heart decoration i bought thats handmade with white sea shells....☺💜
I think it's a good motivator having something planned for a morning. Hope you enjoyed the painting.2 -
I skipped a cookout today at my drinking friends house. I don't think it's wise to get together in groups yet. She's a nurse, so it baffles me that she calls herself a "rule breaker" (and had people over). Anyway, I didn't feel like going plus I had a fabulous nap this afternoon, because I worked for hours in the hot sun in my yard.
I have a bottle of wine in my refrigerator (a gift from someone). I looked it it earlier and said to myself "YUCK". I have such traumatic memories from deathly horrible hangovers, sometimes that's enough of a deterrent. My body is not made for alcohol, at all. Never was.7 -
I don’t think any body is made for alcohol. My generous SIL sent all of us bottles of champagne to toast her daughter in a Zoom college graduation toast. We all popped the cork and wished our niece well. Beautiful. But for me the alcohol wasn’t pleasant. It seems to me the odds are so stacked against me. Sigh. It’s everywhere.7
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How is everyone been a while since Ive posted.
I didnt start drinking til my 30s. And if I did it was a couple and I could stop. It was social and I could keep it at that. I guess divorce and life spiraled and it got the best. Im a year and 3 months almost and Im afraid to even go there again so I dont. With all the goings on the limited social interaction has got me down. My husband is an excessive beer drinker so its even lonlier. Hoping things get better soon. Best to everyone here! ♥5 -
Hello all, RubyRed my body is defo not made for alcohol! Wow I've woken up all week feeling hungover, complete with the dry eyes, bleh, I honestly think it's just allergies cuz my whole family is sneezing, I was disturbed by the photos of the weekend get togethers over the weekend! They're gonna ruin it for all of us🤬 7-11 in Vegas another 24,hope everyone has a wonderful day 💗6
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I REALLY wanted to start drinking yesterday afternoon. Per my usual, not feeling in a great mood triggered it. Asked my SO, what can we do that will make me not want wine? (BTW, HE is the reason that I've not caved in almost 3 months--and sometimes I resent him for it (until the next morning when I'm enjoying my coffee and birds and feeling great, lol). It helps me to say out loud I want a @$(*& drink! He acknowledged he felt like a G&T too--he's trying to be supportive. He actually cleaned the bathroom floor on his knees and said he realized it's been more than a year since he's been on his knees puking after a night of drinking. That was good for me to hear. Had I started drinking yesterday, it would have been an all-in yesterday, and then who knows what after that, so very glad I didn't. I'm headed to basement for a workout. Don't feel like it, but at least it's a lack of motivation thing, not a "cocktail flu" thing. Wishing you lots of resilience and strength and fun!10
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Tonight I had a long convo with an old friend. He was my ex husbands BF. Somehow I got him in the divorce 🤣🤣🤣
He said he has had maybe 7 beers since 1/1/2020 and has lost 40 lbs. He and I used to toss back massive amounts together. It is really nice to be able to move into this next phase of life at the same time and totally by accident.
It was so refreshing to talk with him. I can’t wait to see what our futures hold!!!6 -
Hey there @RubyRed427: Congrats on not opening the bottle in the fridge. Sounds like you've moved away from "resisting" drinking to not wanting to drink - a huge step! I'm not there yet but today was a learning experience. (See my post in Less-A.). The program I'm doing is called "Take a Break" by Rachel Hart. I wouldn't say it's easy (there is a LOT of homework) but it is sane, pragmatic, and realistic for those of us who don't want to completely isolate ourselves (we know what that feels like now) in order not to drink. She has something like 150 podcasts on Spotify. I listened to 3 of them at random, and they resonated with me. If you don't subscribe to Spotify they have a free 30 day trial.
I had been successful at reducing my intake, but I could not seem to give up my daily can of Brut bubbles for even a day, much less 30 - the Take a Break time. Check it out: https://www.rachelhart.com I recommend the podcasts first to see if her approach makes sense for you. The website is good but she's marketing. Let me know what you think.
Have a good week everyone!4 -
6:22 am in Vegas another 24 💖5
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2nd sober Memorial Day weekend in a row. Or ever, if we're counting from about 1982.
Congrats to all who are maintaining and for those who are struggling -- it's worth it!6 -
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I plunked down $20 to hold a spot in The Tempest membership (may or may not pan out--supposed to launch this summer--but I do think the membership fee is around$120/yr). If I do actually join, happy to report on what I think of it. But I do love this quote: Sobriety, and the refusal to partake in alcogenic culture, is subversive, rebellious, and edgy.
Geared towards non-traditionals and mentions AA membership demographics from Recovery.org:- 89 percent of all AA attendees are white.
- Over one-fourth of the members are between the ages of 51 and 60.
- Another one-fifth of all members are between the ages of 41 and 50.
- Women are statistically underrepresented, making up only 38 percent of the AA population.
What are some of your favorite online (free or not) support mechanisms?5 -
Hey there @RubyRed427: Congrats on not opening the bottle in the fridge. Sounds like you've moved away from "resisting" drinking to not wanting to drink - a huge step! I'm not there yet but today was a learning experience. (See my post in Less-A.). The program I'm doing is called "Take a Break" by Rachel Hart. I wouldn't say it's easy (there is a LOT of homework) but it is sane, pragmatic, and realistic for those of us who don't want to completely isolate ourselves (we know what that feels like now) in order not to drink. She has something like 150 podcasts on Spotify. I listened to 3 of them at random, and they resonated with me. If you don't subscribe to Spotify they have a free 30 day trial.
I had been successful at reducing my intake, but I could not seem to give up my daily can of Brut bubbles for even a day, much less 30 - the Take a Break time. Check it out: https://www.rachelhart.com I recommend the podcasts first to see if her approach makes sense for you. The website is good but she's marketing. Let me know what you think.
Have a good week everyone!
Confession time: That damn bottle got the best of me. On a stressful exhausting Tuesday night, I opened that dumb bottle and drank it. I am not too crushed. Relapse is normal. I read a good quote that says if you relapse, don't announce it, just go back to what you were doing quietly.
Well, you are all my friends, so I did announce it to you. It's been 6 weeks so far of well intentioned sobriety, so one slip up won't set me back. Although it increases cravings, I can work through them for a few days and get back to my new normal sober self.8 -
mainelylisa wrote: »I plunked down $20 to hold a spot in The Tempest membership (may or may not pan out--supposed to launch this summer--but I do think the membership fee is around$120/yr). If I do actually join, happy to report on what I think of it. But I do love this quote: Sobriety, and the refusal to partake in alcogenic culture, is subversive, rebellious, and edgy.
Geared towards non-traditionals and mentions AA membership demographics from Recovery.org:- 89 percent of all AA attendees are white.
- Over one-fourth of the members are between the ages of 51 and 60.
- Another one-fifth of all members are between the ages of 41 and 50.
- Women are statistically underrepresented, making up only 38 percent of the AA population.
What are some of your favorite online (free or not) support mechanisms?
I do see many benefits of all the recovery options we have. I've been to AA and have thought highly of it. I still do. I do see though it could be intimidating for a women to just walk into a meeting. My first meeting was nearly ALL men, but I had a male friend take me to the meeting, so I felt ok having a buddy by my side.
Smart Recovery website has also helped me; I print off their free pdf forms and fill them in.
Online therapy has also helped me greatly. I only focus on my alcoholism during my therapy sessions, even though I could bring up dozens of other personal issues. I message my therapist nearly every day, and she always responds within hours. I have a weekly Telehealth session with her. She is my lifeline. (I get my therapist from betterhelp.com; I pay about $240 a month for my therapy, but my sister just signed up, and she pays $400. Maybe the price varies or they have increased the price due to supply and demand)
Another blessing is my friend @JenT304 ; we text nearly every day through triumphs and struggles.
And of course, this amazing life line: MFP Sober Squad is essential to me too.
I have-not heard of The Tempest. I look forward to hearing your thoughts.6 -
I dreamed about drinking last night. I dreamed that someone handed me a mimosa (my favorite of all times) and I drank it without even thinking. After taking that first sip - I felt regret in my dream!
Anyone else dream about drinking?5 -
mainelylisa wrote: »I plunked down $20 to hold a spot in The Tempest membership (may or may not pan out--supposed to launch this summer--but I do think the membership fee is around$120/yr). If I do actually join, happy to report on what I think of it. But I do love this quote: Sobriety, and the refusal to partake in alcogenic culture, is subversive, rebellious, and edgy.
Geared towards non-traditionals and mentions AA membership demographics from Recovery.org:- 89 percent of all AA attendees are white.
- Over one-fourth of the members are between the ages of 51 and 60.
- Another one-fifth of all members are between the ages of 41 and 50.
- Women are statistically underrepresented, making up only 38 percent of the AA population.
What are some of your favorite online (free or not) support mechanisms?
I'm on a website called Mywayout,it's a forum much like this but for alkies,it's not as active as it was when I joined back in 2012 but I've made some lovely friends there,also there's soberrecovery but it's HUGE so I hardly ever go on there anymore,just too much to keep up with,@RubyRed427 I don't like "announcing" it either but then I feel I have a responsibility to myself to be accountable,plus I always feel terrible that I drank so it's nice to hear I'm not the loser I feel like🤷🏻♀️ @Beka3695 yes occasionally I have a drinking dream,it's a relief to wake up and realize it was just a dream! 6:58 am in Vegas another 24,hope everyone has a fabulous AF day 💗5 -
@Beka3695 & @whitpauly Yep, I too have had the Oh Crap, I forgot I wasn't drinking! dream. At least it's replaced the Oh crap, I forgot I was in college and tomorrow is my Calculus final! dream. Why can't we at least have fun in our dreams for crying out loud???
Thanks for sharing additional online resources. I had a teletherapist appointment last night. We talked about drinking a bit, but honestly, for me, a recurring theme in my adult life is the craving for deep connections with women and the difficulty in finding and cultivating them. The kind of connection that you connect with daily.
That you know has your back and you theirs. That you would drop everything and travel to if they needed you. I think it's rare, esp for those of us who have moved around a lot and/or don't have close family members, so that's wonderful that some of you have developed close connections online.6 -
I had some temptation tonight. I rode my bike To Walgreens to get some exercise and some toiletries. I walked near the wine aisle and they had several little box wines, a can of wine and even single glass bottle wine. I said to myself why bother and then you'll sleep poorly. So I grabbed some gummy Lifesavers instead.
I am nearly done with the school year and I will have the summer of reconnection with myself. Remember what I used to love to do besides drinking and do those things. I do recall that two years ago on the last day of school with students, my drinking buddy and I went out til 2:00 a.m. and drank so much. I bet I had a severe hangover!! Guess if she called me this year? Nope. Remember she's the one I told two weeks ago that I am sober now and she said "Ok bye." That speaks volumes to me. Like @whitpauly and several others have said you will lose some friends being sober but they weren't your friends to begin with if they don't love you sober as much as they did drunk.
Makes me kind of sad but totally not worth giving up sobriety. I am in this for the long run. I cannot live a life of misery, pain and suffering, and disgust with myself one minute longer.4 -
mainelylisa wrote: »@Beka3695 & @whitpauly Yep, I too have had the Oh Crap, I forgot I wasn't drinking! dream. At least it's replaced the Oh crap, I forgot I was in college and tomorrow is my Calculus final! dream. Why can't we at least have fun in our dreams for crying out loud???
Thanks for sharing additional online resources. I had a teletherapist appointment last night. We talked about drinking a bit, but honestly, for me, a recurring theme in my adult life is the craving for deep connections with women and the difficulty in finding and cultivating them. The kind of connection that you connect with daily.
That you know has your back and you theirs. That you would drop everything and travel to if they needed you. I think it's rare, esp for those of us who have moved around a lot and/or don't have close family members, so that's wonderful that some of you have developed close connections online.
I have had those dreams too. And even sometimes wake up feeling like I drank the night before when I didn't. I am sorry you crave a deep connection with women yet can't seem to find it; you are a wonderful, loving person and anyone would be so blessed to have you as a friend!!4 -
Just popping in to say HELLO and I still haven't caught up on all the reads...that in itself is wonderful!! It is fantastic to come on here and see all of the activity!! Makes my heart happy
AND after having said all that I need to share that today is my 2nd Sober-versary...Happy Sober-versay to Me!! 2 years!! Where did the time go, but as "they say" time flies when you are busy getting over yourself!! That is my version of what "they say."
So, I had told y'all that when I hit this date, I would share some of my stats on my EasyQuitDrinking app and as I was looking at some of them, I came across a journal entry on the app from one year ago and I entitled it, "My New Normal." (who would have thought that phrase would be describing our life now hmmm?) "So this is my new normal being a 'non drinker' YAY...this time last year I would have been having my last drink & I don't even remember how I felt or what finally made me STOP the insanity, but I am SO happy I did. At this end of things, all I can say is it was a process that led to this point and it will continue to be a process."
BUT I DO remember what made me stop the insanity...the dependence that was beginning to cripple me and it was a slippery slide from social drinking to destructive drinking and I wanted to get off that crazy train to nowhere. It wasn't even the hangovers cause I rarely was hungover...generally felt like crap but not crippled by hangovers. The depression, shame, guilt, feelings of hopelessness, loss of control that was robbing me of my happiness. I do not EVER want to forget why I stopped...it is my fuel for not wanting to start again. There is a freedom I have now that I would never want to surrender for a temporary 'fix' that would end up fixing me in the end. No thank you!! Life is just way better...even my worst day sober is way better than my best day drinking!!
AND it is still a process, and a good one and I am still happy that I committed to stopping my self-destructive path.
The stats are as follows: $4,165.00 not spent on wine (it says "saved" but....NOT saved lol ~ damn!!) 2,603.1 glasses of wine passed ... my liver is rejoicing over that one for sure... After 1 year of stopping alcohol liver function returns to 100% ( of course, amount of damage would factor in also but this is a general stat) and heart health after 2 yrs returns to 100% function...there are other stats but these are the biggies...OH & cognitive function and mental clarity returns to 100% after 2-3 months, but that is debatable for some of us lol.
Thank you to all you guys who have supported me through my ups & downs and helped me to work through my stuff and knowing we will continue to support each other gives me hope for us all.
Hope everyone is healthy & happy and I will get caught up on all my reads soon. I feel a bit out of the loop here, but I'll get back on track 10 -
Congratulations Lorraine!! 🎂💗 A soberversery cake for you! 6:33 am in Vegas another 24,I think it's hard as adults to make friends like we had when we were younger, too many things come up like if they have small kids and you don't or if they're married and you're not, just things like that get in the way, I only have aqauintences now, no super close friends but I have my adult kids and hubs so I do ok I guess, wishes for a great AF day for us all, do something you love💗5
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@lorrainequiche59, Congratulations! I remember you two years ago. How wonderful to have two solid years under your belt. I like some of your pithy little sentences, like "even my worst day sober is way better than my best day drinking." So true and wise. I hope you treat yourself to something special today! Or I guess it was yesterday, but still.
On the friendship thing, I relate to that, as I think most (or at least many) adult women do. The other day, I got hooked into watching one of those creepy Dateline reruns. Who can resist Keith Morrison's eerie voice? Not me. Anyway, I watched because it was about a murder of an SMU student in 1984, and I was a grad student there at the time but never even heard about the crime. That intrigued me. Anyway, the victim's roommate was so determined to solve the case that when she became frustrated with police inaction, she actually--20 years later-- became a private investigator so she could work the case herself. And sure enough, she was the force behind solving the case (and fortunately exonerating the poor man who was suspected all those years but was totally innocent). The point of all this is, I said to my husband, "Wow! Wouldn't everyone like to have a friend like that?" Then I decided my goal should be to BE a friend like that. True friendships, I think, are precious and quite rare.
Everyone have a great weekend. I go back to work in the juvenile center on Monday. I've barely left home for two and a half months, so that will be an adventure. Have masks, will travel. Not drinking, so getting up early is actually pleasant.7 -
So happy for you @lorrainquiche59 !! ♥ Thats major.
Funny how as more time goes by we've gone from should I...shouldnt I...to really knowing its no and thats just the way it is. You learn to adapt.
Hope everyone has a nice sober weekend! Xo4 -
Congrats, @lorrainequiche59 ! Quite an accomplishment and inspiration!
Thank you, @RubyRed427. I'm going to do a better job of staying in touch with the few friends I've met (mostly online) to cultivate those relationships, as well as maybe develop some new ones. Probably will interact with those people who I formally would mostly drink with. When I'm feeling down, I retreat--but it's when I should most reach out--both to help me and possibly help someone else. I think we're in this for the long haul, so I foresee depression growing. At least it's easier to deal with depression and negative feelings when sober. Not fun, but not exacerbative (my made-up-word-of-the-day). Enjoy your weekend everyone and make sure you're reaching out for the connection you need.
As far as announcing a misstep, I say shout it out, because you have to be progressing with steps to have a misstep. You have to be on a wagon first before falling off. A reminder of how well we are doing most of the time (which is awesome compared to how well we used to be doing). When we are just drinkin every day, we are likely stepping in so much poopoo we don't even realize it.6 -
@mainelylisa Nice to hear that you have met some nice friends online. Yes, that is true; I tend to retreat as well when I'm down. Sounds like you are making some positive observations with sobriety. Sobriety gives us a lot more time on our hands and more time to think.
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@lorrainequiche59 Happy Second Anniversary!! You've been through so many difficult, heartbreaking events these last two years but you continued your quest for an AF life. Bravo!
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@lorrainequiche59 - congratulations!!!
I’m so happy for your commitment!
Observation:
I’ve always known that hangovers are increased in severity due to the dehydration caused by alcohol. Hence why you were taught to have a drink, have water... except for us -two drinks in and we totally forget about the water.
Yesterday I was planning to go for a morning run. I was planning on an hour. It turned into a 37 minute walk and I was DEAD. It was 85 degrees but 75% humidity - I had to chew the air before breathing. I was purple red when finished and so exhausted !! I immediately began hydrating, but don’t think I ever really got there.
I woke up this am with a nasty, hangover like headache. Isn’t it funny when you dry out how you start putting these pieces together?
Happy Sunday AF Family!!8 -
@donimfp I've watched that episode, and was at the University of Texas at the time. I've also recently discovered Dateline podcast (aka, eyes closed sunning on deck...) I want to be that friend as well. Good luck returning to the office!
@FeelinFooFoo Your post makes me want a Southern Comfort & Lemonade and I'm not a big fan of either, lol. You seem to have a good attitude and are being observant--that's awesome. Looking back, do you think you would have had as much fun drinking just lemonade? (Cute pic!)
@Beka3695 "I had to chew the air before breathing..." Have you considered becoming an author? So palpable!
I got depressed yesterday--just too much alone time. Binged on Peanut M&M's. Still better than alcohol, but hoping to binge on something less caloric next time.5 -
I drank yesterday. Between the pandemic and now the riots, I am just feeling overwhelmed. I am grieving for the world my granddaughters are growing up in. I know alcohol does not help...but it seemed like a good idea at the time. I got my husband to commit to at least doing a dry June with 4th of July as a goal to stay sober until. I have never asked him to try to stay dry with me before but I would do so much better if he would. It's just a fact. Wishing you all peace and good vibes. - Jen12
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