The Sober Squad- Alcohol Free Living
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Aah! Don't leave people we need to keep the thread alive😤 as I said before I post on both,I've had my fumbles too!I'm with you Jen and wanted to drink cuz of this chaos but know itll still be there when I sober up,meh whatever.7
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I want to drink tonight. My 3 month AF anniversary eve. I actually want to drink now, but work interferes with everything! I think I want to drink because I want so exert control over SOMETHING. I've been not drinking for 3 months and it doesn't feel like I'm controlling anything. OK, well here is hangover control. And blackout control. But if I just have 2 glasses, I won't have either of those.4
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The desire to drink bug might be in the air. I had a horrible client ordeal today and at 930 am I was thinking a mimosa sounded like the solution. I pushed thru!
Not sure who said it a few weeks ago, but we have to retrain our brains from the drinkin thinkin.
Living away from home now on week 3 and not having “my tub” has kept me from my luxurious prison. The tub here, albeit only mine, is just not the same.
Stay sober sweet friends!!!
3 months 1 day <-1> sober!!!!5 -
@beka3695 Ya, for me on this 3 month anniversary which I almost ruined last night (but went to bed at 8 instead), I feel like I'm at the 7-year itch in an AF marriage. I'm getting restless, the sex is boooooring, and there is no fun on the horizon, dammit! And what about the edginess? I think there could be fun an edginess in my photography or in my memoir writing or in online poker (for real money muhahahaha), but all those take some effort to learn and build those new habits. I think I just need a coach to kick my butt.4
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Good morning, all. I started out on the less alcohol thread in January 2018, and both that and this thread have been so helpful for me over the last two and a half years. Although my goal has not been total abstinence for life, I just wanted to share that today marks one year since I have had an alcoholic drink. Thanks so much to everyone here who continues to share struggles and successes, you all continue to offer me much motivation, and food for thought.9
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Even after a year, there are still triggers. Doing meal prep last night, music blasting, and out of nowhere, bam, "sure would be nice to have a little something." Hit me unexpectedly hard and had to take some time, go sit down and just breathe, concentrate on breathing. Needed about ten minutes to get evened out.
Sometimes getting out of the situation is all that's needed, other times, a little extra effort is required. And worth it.
Just another hour, just another day!12 -
@lorrainequiche59 Congratulations!!!!!3
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Good morning! Earlier, I went for a very long walk 4.4. miles on a trail. It was so wonderful. I could not have done that this morning if I had drank last night. The mornings are my reward for not drinking. The short term gains of alcohol are nothing compared to the long term results.
For anyone who has fallen off the wagon; it happens. It happens to everyone. Relapse is absolutely a part of sobriety. Just keep going!! Never ever stop. For me, I know that I have no off switch. It's too late for me to be a moderate drinker. If I do sometimes moderate, it's a miracle. Because that does not happen typically.
Happy Friday!
My drinking pal just texted me to go out tomorrow. I have become stronger in stating what I want to do. So, I replied, No thanks. But I'd love to go for a power walk with you next week. 9 -
Tonight is my husbands BFs 50th birthday party. I decided to stay in Florida and not attend since everyone would be drinking and heavily.
Also, at 6 pm I am setting my phone to do not disturb bc I don’t want to take the drunken phone calls that will start soon there after.
Making some big girl decisions!!!!8 -
Good call @Beka3695 (I crack myself up)
I started social distancing for alcohol before it was cool for the virus. It still works when needed. When I started going out to be social again when I knew there's be alcohol, I always went with an escape plan. A quick walk around outside was usually enough to quell the cravings. If that didn't work, it was time to head home.6 -
Good call @Beka3695 (I crack myself up)
I started social distancing for alcohol before it was cool for the virus. It still works when needed. When I started going out to be social again when I knew there's be alcohol, I always went with an escape plan. A quick walk around outside was usually enough to quell the cravings. If that didn't work, it was time to head home.
I’m now having FOMO... maybe KOMO - knowledge of missing out.
Trying to stay occupied!
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Hi there! As of May 11th I have been free from alcohol (and narcotics) for 2 years!
I drank pretty heavily for 15 years (before hard drugs for another 5), but after a stint in rehab I now have a wonderful life with my 21 month old daughter, as well as mending fences with my 13 year old son.
Good luck to everyone on your journeys!16 -
Hi All Thank you for all of your support & congrats messages.
I have been absent here for a bit, lots happening! Back to work, but not my usual, I have 4 clients who have me on hold. So I'm in the process of looking for some part-time work and that took most of last week applying with an employment agency and am in the process of hopefully getting a position that I applied for. Here's hoping!
I got caught up reading on the last couple of pages and great to see new faces and lots of encouraging posts...although I was on pins & needles when I was reading @FeelinFooFoo's consideration of just reading on here & not posting...SO glad you decided to continue posting @FeelinFooFoo because your posts have so much value here.
My journey to being AF was a lengthy process over a number of years, & I finally got so sick & tired of being sick & tired of the stinkin' drinkin' that it was my time to stop it...I had lots of vacillation for quite awhile over the years, starts & stops, before I finally stopped, BUT I was not on this thread laying bare my slips & dips back into drinking like others here are. It takes brutal honesty AND alot of courage to admit a slip-up.
I was ready to stop when I found this thread...actually I was on Less Alcohol and followed Jen here. I think it was Jen who said a page ago (others have also said it too) relapse is part of the process. PLEASE for anyone here who caves to the crave for alcohol, it is telling you something...it is part of the learning curve to one day stay AF...so please do NOT beat yourself up...there is a reason why we turn to alcohol or drugs or food or any other substance. It isn't because we are weak-willed, or don't have self-control etc...cause there are some pretty determined, successful, highly-functioning people in this group who exercise self-control in other areas of life. Alcohol is something that has worked to take the edge off our pain or stress/anxiety etc.
Learning another way to take the edge off takes time & learning to cope differently. Please be kind to yourself...beating ourselves up & allowing guilt & shame to overtake us will only fuel the issue we have in the first place and that is to medicate the guilt & shame away.
LONG post, I'm making up for lost time LOL. I really hope that we all just continue to support each other & to come here when we need support from others....that is the secret & the true value of this group!! Just keepin on keepin on!!
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Good Morn/Afternoon: I was reading the June 6 entry from The Language of Letting Go this morn & it furthers my previous comment. It is entitled, "The Gift of Readiness" and it opens by referring to having a change of heart & openness to becoming changed, in part it says, "The path to this willingness can be long and hard. Many of us have to struggle with a behavior or feeling before we become ready to let it go. We need to see, over & over again, that the coping device that once protected us is no longer helpful.....Trust in this time. Trust that you are being readied to let go of that which is no longer useful. Trust that a change of heat is being worked out in you..."
Happy, healthy day to everyone!! You guys are AWESOME!!! 6 -
I dreamed about drinking again last night. I didn’t feel like “oh kitten” in the dream or wake up anxious. It was more like watching a TV show that I was a part of.
I am guessing the dream might have been triggered by another Sunday “hangover” headache. I can not adjust to this Florida heat/humidity! I did a 45 min walk yesterday which like last week appears to have left me completely dehydrated.
About the time I figure this out I will be moving back home 🤣🤣🤣
Happy AF Sunday to everyone!!!6 -
Re: Reading
I am a non reader. I have only read maybe 4 books to conclusion since graduating college 20+ years ago.
About 2 years ago I bought This Naked Mind. Today I started reading it. This is only because @feelinfoofoo has been reading ☺️ Peer pressure is not always a bad thing.
I’ve only finished chapter one, but it is already giving me new perspective. Hmmm... reading! Who would have thought!8 -
@FoolishJoy: Welcome! You should be proud. You've accomplished a LOT in 2 years. BTW, I love that age in kids, 21 months. They are sooo busy - LOL. It's why we have our babies when we're young.
Namaste3 -
@FeelinFooFoo I'm so glad you're part of this community (and Less Alcohol). You're like sunshine. Or the daughter I never had. Can I adopt you?
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Hey there! Nice to see all the chats! Most mornings, I get a feeling of elation that I didn't drink the night before. It is like a huge relief met with a little bit of pride. We have to give ourselves kudos for working so hard, because it is hard work. I saw a celebrity's quote on Instagram and he said "Acting is my hobby. But sobriety is my job." I like that!
I also know that my brain has changed over the last 30 years of drinking. It will take lots of time and patience to change my thinking that alcohol is the answer to my problems. In fact, it has contributed to and caused most of my problems... weight gain, anxiety, depression, reckless behavior, shame, worry, guilt, disappointment, searching for something more in life .....
I cringe at the hours upon hours I spent sitting at a bar with other bar flies instead of exercising, reading, spending time with the family.
Re: Reading: I usually read a book a month; I like to look at best sellers that aren't by popular authors. Currently, I am reading Where the Crawdads Sing. If anyone wants to jump back into reading (since being sober gives us a lot of extra time), I highly recommend this book. It is an amazing journey reading it. It is also inspirational.
p.s. I still have not heard back from my drinking pal who texted me last week to go out drinking. I offered alternatives like lunch or a long walk, and I have heard no reply to those ideas.8 -
The above post resonated with me. Especially this:
I cringe at the hours upon hours I spent sitting at a bar with other bar flies instead of exercising, reading, spending time with the family.
I feel like I missed years of my children’s childhood. They will reference something and I have no recollection at all. Then I wonder - was it the alcohol or the useless husband that didn’t pull his weight forcing 90% of everything on me.... I’m not sure and at this point I will stop dwelling. I cannot change the past and can only improve my future.
TODAY IS MY 100th <-1>DAY SOBER!!!12 -
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Congratulations, @Beka3695 ! What an accomplishment! Is that an app, or did you create that image? Very cool. And time wasted drinking really resonates with me too, though I'm still weirdly drawn to the idea of sitting at a bar in the near dark observing people and maybe finding someone super interesting to chat with. But I could still do that with a tonic & lime, and actually remember it. AND not be embarassed to meet up again.5
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@mainelylisa it is a really old app called “Days Since”. It is a countdown type app. I’ve used it for years to count down to big events and more recently since events. Btw - 470 days since I’ve colored my hair 😂😂😂6
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I REALLY wanted to drink yesterday--started about 3p. Had I not had a streak going (and a partner who would have noticed because I woulda drank drank), it would have happened and I would feel like crap all today. I did divert it to M&M's and caramels, but much less damage. And it really did pass after about 1/2 hour. It was related to just feeling blah about everything. I need to find my blah-go-to. Maybe online poker for real money, muhahahaha. Today's a new day.
@FeelinFooFoo I hope your ritual is nice and nasty, lol. I don't think he had read that book, but my son had a last hurrah one weekend and he's not had a drop in over a year. AND he rarely misses it (we talk a lot about this subject--he was quite the drinker before).5 -
@FeelinFooFoo, a friend of mine who is a psychiatrist told me his patients who have most successfully kicked smoking or alcohol have used Alan Carr’s books. So wishing you the best.
I loved being back with my juvie students last week and this Monday and Tuesday but got a call last night that one of the guards who has been in my classroom (distancing with masks) tested positive. So now I’m in self-quarantine for 2 weeks. So tired of this. Wine is sounding good but I know it would only add anxiety. Still. Praying to stay strong. 2020 will be a year none of us forgets.8 -
@FeelinFooFoo, a friend of mine who is a psychiatrist told me his patients who have most successfully kicked smoking or alcohol have used Alan Carr’s books. So wishing you the best.
I loved being back with my juvie students last week and this Monday and Tuesday but got a call last night that one of the guards who has been in my classroom (distancing with masks) tested positive. So now I’m in self-quarantine for 2 weeks. So tired of this. Wine is sounding good but I know it would only add anxiety. Still. Praying to stay strong. 2020 will be a year none of us forgets.
I'm sorry ☹️ that really sucks! Just hope you're healthy,I seen on the news that cases are rising,I'm over it!😤6 -
@FeelinFooFoo thats pretty amazing the one drink thing. You hated it and done. Interesting stuff. To classify as an alcoholic or are we just non drinkers now. Idk Ive always just chosen to tell new people that I dont drink. Thats just way easier. Sounds like a good book thanks for sharing.6
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@FeelinFooFoo Very insightful. I agree; labeling yourself as "in recovery" forever is not helpful. I do not feel I am "in recovery" from my smoking addiction I quit years ago. Not only do I not count the days, I don't even remember the year that I quit. Annie Grace's book also stresses this way of thinking; you are glad to be over the drinking, not craving it. You see alcohol as poison and you are happy not to have it. I can't honestly say I am totally over the craving, that may take a while, but I continue to read these posts, Craig Beck videos etc., to reinforce it. I'm having a rare night alone with my dogs (my hubby is off taking care of his Dad) and I am enjoying my sparkling water and the quiet.7
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Life events:
As of last night I am officially 100% an empty nester. It was so sad seeing my daughter drive away with all her stuff in the back of a truck.
I almost drank... but I didn’t.11
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