The Sober Squad- Alcohol Free Living

Sunshinelinzee

Thanks for the welcome... yesterday was a success. I’m doing an awful project at work and I’ve been working on it all week. I really wanted to finish it but it’s just not there yet. By the end of the day I was feeling pretty frustrated, tired and zonked out from staring at a screen (and it was raining so that didn’t help). And it was Friday. Yesterday would have been a prime grab some wine on the way home day (and give up and order takeout) and I’ll admit I did think about it for a hot second but actively changed my mind. Freezer meal (homemade, I meal prep) and a nice ginger lemon herbal tea.

So here it is, starting day 6 AF. The sun is shining, I’m up at 6:30 am, getting ready to get my workout in and looking forward to enjoying the day.... probably with a nice home brewed unsweetened ice tea (I do actually like unsweetened tea😉). Have a great day all!

SunnyDays930

Happy Saturday, Everyone! Welcome to the family, @Sunshinelinzee!

kevinrfletcher

@Sunshinelinzee UNSWEETENED TEA?????? I'm sorry, we can no longer be friends... I can tolerate political differences, religious differences, really, just about anything, but unsweetened tea? It pains me to even write it...

Ok, truth, I gave up sweet tea a while back. Nothing with added sugar. Big fan of green tea now... who would have thunk it? But, this is the south, so I have to put on a show.
Congrats on day 6!!!

Day 62 ~ Think I stretched my Achilles tendon in a run during the workout last evening... Heel is killing me to walk. CURSE THIS GETTING OLD CRAP!!! I refuse to acknowledge it.... I am 21, I am 21, I am 21. Nope, still hurts. Hope y'all have a great AF weekend. If you're an old Zeppelin fan, as I am, and you haven't heard of them (some of us do still live under rocks) check out Greta van Fleet, "Highway Tune"... it's what Zep would have been if they still made new music, and stayed young, which, APPARENTLY, is impossible to do.

Ciao babies...

Sunshinelinzee

kevinrfletcher wrote: »

@Sunshinelinzee UNSWEETENED TEA?????? I'm sorry, we can no longer be friends... I can tolerate political differences, religious differences, really, just about anything, but unsweetened tea? It pains me to even write ..

Haha I have a deep appreciation for the sweet tea of the south.... alas I live in the far reaches of the northeast....where it’s winter 8 months out of the year and the other seasons are dedicated to mud, road construction and tourists. Our sweet tea just isn’t that good to begin with 🤪

aroze0928

I think its day 70..though it bothers me I cant count it as 5 months because of 2 missed days for Jan and Feb. Still feeling prouder than a peacock.
I just started a job and theres constant talk about drinking... Different kinds of beer they had the night before..which was my favorite beverage of choice.
One of my superiors came in yesterday with quite a hangover. So some of them disappeared for a loong lunch and she came back and reaked of hard booze. So I guess the point is while I still miss beer and miss having a relationship with my husband (thats another story), I dont miss being owned to the pain and suffering of the hangovers. Have a great weekend.

Sunshinelinzee

FeelinFooFoo wrote: »

Hi guys & gals, day 13 on the Alcohol Experiment. Things are going good. I am starting to look to the future & think about my attempt to moderate. I'm even asking myself 'do I even want to attempt it?'.

I read something today that has struck a chord. An article stating that white wine especially, (my drink of choice), can cause rosacea. And facial flushing. I have, for a long time now, developed facial flushing & red blotches when I start drinking alcohol. (9x out of 10 will be white wine). This will gradually fade as I continue to drink.

The flushing can also be a sign of 'alcohol intolerance'. To think I have seen these blatant physical signs and ignored them just cos I wanted to carry on drinking, has opened my eyes & got me thinking.

I think if I do attempt moderation, white wine will have to go.

Hope everyone is having a great AF day. 😌

Wine has been my primary drink of choice for years. It 100% makes me flush (actually all alcohol does but wine is the worst) and is a huge contributor to my facial redness which is basically mild rosacea. It’s not the only contributing factor but it’s a major offender for sure. I’m pretty fair, pushing 40, overweight, have autoimmune issues from Lyme which mostly effect my skin and spend a lot of time outdoors in the sun but nothing makes me flush quite as bad as alcohol except maybe anxiety which I don’t often suffer from.

SunnyDays930

@FeelinFooFoo My dermatologist told me I had rosacea and put me on this ridiculously expensive medicine...like $400.00 a tube (my insurance covered but they were not happy). I do not have rosacea...I drank too much wine. I can't believe she didn't ask me my drinking habits before prescribing this stuff. Anyway it's no longer an issue. My skin looks so much better now that alcohol has been eliminated.
For those of you that can drink in moderation, good on ya. I have just tried more times than I can count and I just slide right back into the whole wine bottle. Like smoking, I can't have just one. I truly wish I was wired like people that can drink in moderation, I'm just not.

donimfp

I read somewhere recently (can't remember where or I'd give the writer credit) that trying to moderate drinking means you never get to the "good part" but stay in the difficult part forever. I understood that because even at day 43, I'm still feeling like I'm in the difficult stage where alcohol just takes up too much mental real estate. If I try to moderate, then drinking is all I ever think of (when, where, how much . . .). I'm really looking forward to that time when I can pretty much go a whole day without alcohol even crossing my mind. I know that will never happen for me if I just limit my alcohol rather than giving it up completely. I'm only speaking for myself. I know people who only have occasional drinks and do just find with that. For me, it's just too late to un-pickle the cucumber.

SunnyDays930

@donimfp I think that was on one of the sober school blogs. I remember reading that myself. It was something about "if you are only dry Monday through Thursday you never get the real impact of going AF...of what it really feels like to dry out a good long time". Something to that effect. And that is awesome that you are on day 43!! Way to go, Girl!

kevinrfletcher

@donimfp Congrats on day 43!!!

There is no moderation for me. If I could, I would have years ago. I've quit before, always with the "when I get this beat, I'll start back in moderation" attitude. Doing this like I did cigarettes back in '88. Aug 1st, 1988 I picked as the day I no longer was a smoker... So, March 10th, 2019 is the day I am no longer a drinker. Every drink I've been offered since, I've turned down flat, and told people how long I've been sober, and that I can't go back to where I was... It's amazing how understanding everyone has been.

lorrainequiche59

YAY @donimfp on 43 days. I love that most days I don't think about alcohol...at least in a craving way...the only times I've really had any difficulty with cravings in the recent past is when I've been gifted wine or gone & bought it for guests and let it sit here for days/weeks on end and stare me in the face...but no more of that nonsense cause I've adopted @RubyRed's no alcohol in my new space rule unless others bring it, drink it and leave with the remainder!!!

@FeelinFooFoo I'm not sure what you personally mean by moderation, but if you mean "true" moderation of one drink a day for women...then there will be no buzz OR just enough of a buzz to want a bigger buzz. For me, the buzz was always the sole reason to drink. I don't know much, but this one thing I do know is that if I had one drink it would be just enough to weaken my resolve to be moderate and we how that story ends & I'd rather be at this end of my story than the other end. If I remember correctly it is Annie Grace that says for some people moderation IS possible BUT it's still a lot of work, a lot of thinking about alcohol like others above have said. Yet, we all have to do what we have to do to get to where we want to be...only you can decide what that is....you are doing so well and I hope only good things for you.

SunnyDays930

The comments under this article are really sad. So so so many lives cut short by alcohol abuse.

https://www.yahoo.com/entertainment/halt-and-catch-fire-actress-lisa-sheridans-cause-of-death-revealed-212202898.html

donimfp

@kevinrfletcher, March 30 was my first day of being a non-drinker “for reals” as my students say.

I’m having 6 people over for dinner tonight and we are offering alcohol as usual. Hey, it’s my mom and it’s Mother’s Day. My husband is even having his Jim Beam although in general he’s not drinking to support me. He can really take it or leave it. I don’t think this is going to bother me. I hope I’m right. Definitely no one would be inclined to care one way or the other whether I drink or not.

Sunshinelinzee

Wow. What a day - I honestly feel great. Day 6 AF is coming to a close and it’s my first weekend. I got so much done...I was up for my workout at 6am, had a nice healthy breakfast with DH, celebrated our old lady cats 16th birthday, got the grocery shopping done and did all of the meal prep for the week. House is clean, laundry is done and a nice dinner was had. The sun was shining and we finally made it and held at 60* and I even had time for an afternoon nap. The fact that it is finally starting to feel like spring is certainly helping my motivation and drive.

My regular pattern has been to grab wine on the grocery trip and have weekend drinks. I treated the wine aisle like all of the other ones....I just didn’t go down it (I mostly shop the edges). While I’m always doing things and getting a ton done there is a big difference not having drinks while it’s all in process. Everything went faster, I was done earlier and didn’t find myself getting frustrated at all and I feel good and accomplished at the end of the day... not wiped out. I’m now cruising into some evening couch time at 12,000 steps ready for a hot tea and some well planned popcorn to close out the day.

I hope you are all having a fabulous evening!

lorrainequiche59

GOOD MORN: I want to share a wee blurb from Letting Go and It is entitled Perfection, but there is a section I want to highlight as I think it likely applies to all of us here in our AF journey, so I'm beginning mid-blurb"

"...Even if we slip back to our old, codependent ways of thinking, feeling, and behaving, we do not need to be ashamed. We all regress from time to time. That's how we learn and grow. Relapse, or recycling, is an important and necessary part of recovery. And the way out of recycling is not shaming ourselves. That leads us deeper into codependency. Much pain comes from trying to be perfect. Perfection is impossible unless we think of it in a new way: Perfection is being who and where we are today; it's accepting and loving ourselves just as we are. We are each right where we need to be in our recovery...Today, I will love and accept myself for who I am and where I am in my recovery process, I am right where I need to be to get to where I'm going tomorrow"

I always used to think of myself as codependent and my ex as the alcoholic, but now I've come to learn that, for many, substance abuse is part of codependency. Many addicts ARE codependent! And I am of that sort, and the thing is it isn't ONLY alcohol. So it's interesting to me that many of us on this forum have multiple dependency issues re: food etc...not exactly a "lightbulb moment", but I think it is good to continually remind ourselves that this is a process that isn't done perfectly from start to .....finish?? I don't think there ever is a finish, it is just a continual process...

Much success & hugs to all here who are continuing no matter where we are in the process

SunnyDays930

Happy Mother's Day to the moms out there. And for those that have lost their mothers or a child, this is surely a bittersweet day. Sending hugs to all.

lorrainequiche59

@JenT304 I hate reading articles like that because it makes me so sad at the waste of a life and the torment she likely suffered daily in her addiction. At the same time, I appreciate those kind of reminders because it does hit home that this is not a harmless substance. Thank you for passing articles like this & videos along to us.

donimfp

Happy Mother’s Day and I echo @JenT304’s hugs to all whether today is pure joy or tinged with bittersweetness.

The universe had a good laugh at my expense last night. I posted about my dinner party and plans to go ahead and offer alcohol. Well, for the past 12 years my mom (87-year-old Jane Fonda-ish gorgeous freak of nature) was blessed with a very sweet companion. Same age, Vietnam hero, serious cyclist up until two years ago. They lived separately but did everything together including travel the world. Long story short last Thursday was his military funeral. We will miss that precious man so much.

So anyway the dinner last night was my mom and his adult “kids” who came to Texas from NY and DC for the funeral and to sell his house, etc etc. I don’t know them well but we all really like each other. Obviously I haven’t shared my sobriety journey with them. They held a reception at their dad’s house Thursday night. SO last night they arrived not with a bottle of wine but with one of those cardboard “six packs” containing 6 bottles of various wines folks had brought Thursday and which they needed to pass on before traveling home. 6 bottles!! That threw even little Ms. Smugness Me for a loop! Anyway, all is well in Day 44 but I seriously need to find a new home for all this “bounty.”

Sunshinelinzee

Good morning all!

@donimfp I’ve got a decent amount of friends in the non profit world that are always soliciting for donations. In the past I’ve donated unopened bottles of wine for their gala events. Just a thought.

Well here it is, Day 7. I’m in the home stretch to completing my first full week AF. While there were a few moments of craving I found that just by being conscious of my actions and having my head in the game it wasn’t very hard for me (so thankful for that). This was how it was when I quit smoking too years ago... one day I just decided I didn’t like it anymore and stopped... that was it. Today we are heading up north for a bit to visit my parents and will be going out to lunch. It’s no place fancy and alcohol isn’t even on the menu so I’ve got no worries. It just won’t be present in the day which is nice, all I will need to focus on is not overeating.

Happy Mother’s Day to all of the wonderful moms out there.

RubyRed427

Try finding a 21st birthday card that doesn't mention alcohol. They don't exist. My daughter was looking for one for her brother and stated the obvious.

I'm staying strong and motivated. Was the DD for my drinking friends- I woke up so happy I didn't ruin this holiday with a hangover. Happy Mothers Day ! My son is turning 21 today as well. So it's double fun!

I have been so busy packing that I haven't read 28 posts. I'll catch up soon!