The Sober Squad- Alcohol Free Living
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@FeelinFooFoo, Hooray for Scotland or Glasgow or whatever entity has been cautious about re-opening. Texas went really fast and now my college town has seen a 715% increase in positive cases in the last week. We are a hot spot because college kids without masks are elbow to elbow in bars and on the River. It’s so good to hear that pubs in your area are having to follow guidelines.
That said, not drinking and working on good health is inspiring me right now. It’s really helped for one week now to think of this as my project for quarantine. I lost 4 lbs this week (some water I’m sure) by focusing on taking the best care of myself possible. Knowing I can quit if I want to on August 1 has been a mental help to me. Hopefully I won’t want to quit.
Stay safe, everyone.6 -
I received this txt this morning from my BF. This made me smile all over!!!
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To those wondering what to say when offered a drink, I agree that it depends who is asking. If it is a stranger (bartender etc) you can just say,"no thanks, I'll have a seltzer." Absolutely no explanation is needed. To someone that you may know better, that knew you as a drinker before you might say, "I'm doing a challenge," or "i'm watching my weight." or even, "No thanks I've already had my lifetime supply."
Honestly, anyone that continues to pester anyone else about this is obviously insecure in their own habits; I should know, I shamefully have done this in the past. I don't think any good comes from declaring, "because it is poison," "or anything that will make the other person defensive. That is unless they are being a total douche. Then just say whatever you want. 
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@FeelinFooFoo I'm 3rd day on diet and am 3 lbs down. I know it is water weight but it still feels good. Alcohol does not fit in in any way with my weight loss goals, much less my health goals. Your method definitely sounds doable. Yes, we still need the treat here and there. I had 2 oreos at my daughter's today. That was mine for the day. At least I didn't run out and buy a whole bag on the way home, like I would have done with wine had it been a drink. Glad I have discipline over SOME things!5
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Good morning everyone! Have a great sober day!
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@FeelinFooFoo, I may be misremembering, but it seems like when I was in California a few years ago, there actually were warnings on bottle/cans of alcohol, as well as posted in restaurants that served alcohol. I remember something about harm to unborn babies, plus organ damage. Maybe someone from or familiar with CA can tell me if I dreamed that.5
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Interesting findings about link of alcohol and cancer.
Two observations: the blatant marketing of alcohol to women... all those "fun" colors and flavors. The greed of these harmful companies is obvious.
Second, Miley Cyrus is 6 months sober. First, she needed to quit because of vocal cord surgery. But then she realized that there is a genetic disposition to alcoholism in her family, and that she just feels 100% better each morning.
https://people.com/music/miley-cyrus-talks-sobriety-after-vocal-surgery/2 -
I too am having crazy dreams. Maybe my brain is wondering where the mind numbing drug is. Yesterday after watching the news (really not a good idea these days) I felt an incredible and not fleeting urge, for a drink. But for me there is no such thing as A drink...it only would want some company in the form of at least 3 more. I countered the longing with a cookie and thoughts of how good I am feeling sober and reminded myself of the feelings of shame and despair I feel when I do indulge. Plus I have lost 5 lbs and I am not screwing that up with alcohol. 2 big parties this weekend. My FIL turns 90 and my granddaughter will be 4. These are perfect excuses NOT to drink as I want to enjoy and remember every second of both of these joyous events. Instead of despairing and fretting, "Oh there is a party, I will be tempted," I feel completely the opposite. I have to give credit to everyone on this thread for my sobriety and happiness. You have been a huge part of my journey. XO Jen 5
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I love your ideas @FeelinFooFoo ! It's about how we spin it in our brain. I am proud of all of us!
I woke this morning and had a full day of moving boxes and furniture for my son who is moving home with my ex. I felt so fresh and energetic when I woke up and faced the day with NO hangover or headache. I ate my greek yogurt with strawberries for breakfast, instead of having to feed a hangover with an egg Mcmuffin.
Tomorrow, my daughter is having her wisdom teeth out, and I would not want to be relying on alcohol to deal with the nerves I am having. Instead, I can just give myself some positive self talk that everything will be ok. I don't have to dive into a bottle, and then screw up the day feeling ever more anxious. If I were still drinking, I am sure I would have hidden a bottle of white wine in my closet for a few swigs to calm my nerves. And before I would know it the bottle would be empty and I would be a terrible "nurse" for my daughter.
I agree with Lottie who said even two glasses of wine make me feel quite sick the next day. I know as I age, even a little alcohol just doesn't agree with me. I know that my menopause symptoms are exacerbated as well.
@JenT304 Have a wonderful weekend!! Lots to celebrate. 4 -
Hello Weekend is almost here!! I started a new job this week...part-time to supplement my existing work and was somewhat stressed about working with other people LOL I've been self-employed for over 20 yrs and the thoughts of having to work with others wasn't terribly appealing but my friend who works there said it is an easy environment and she is right. It's quite a good team and it's different than what I have ever done, but still physical & it's a really fast-paced environment, so I like that part for sure, time flies, AND it's only one day a week, which makes up for the clients that still have me on hold due to their virus fears.
I'm thrilled to see everyone really working at & enjoying the benefits of being AF...as far as what to say when others offer drinks, my preference is "No thanks, I'll have "X' instead...or I'd rather have "X" and if they make a deal of it, I just re-state, "I'd rather have 'X' ~ thank you though." Unless someone comes right out & asks me why I don't drink, I don't tell...but that's just me. If someone does actually ask, I admit that alcohol was becoming a problem for me, so I decided to quit while I could still make the choice.
Have a GREAT AF weekend and keep on keepin' on...I've been doing good keeping caught up on my reading here, but it is getting more difficult cause this thread is sizzlin' !!
BTW I miss seeing @Whitpauly's "Another 24" Hoping she is ok. and if you're lurking girlie, please let us know 5 -
FeelinFooFoo wrote: »Another alcohol dream last night, it was so vivid ! Again as in the other one, I was gona drink alcohol only this time it was wine instead of beer (it's funny cos it was always usually beer or wine I drank 😂) it feels as if my dreams are tormenting me!
I have actually been having some very very vivid dreams this past while it does seem to coincide with my efforts to stay AF. I wonder if there is a connection 🤔 the dreams arnt particularly pleasant either....must be due a nice dream sometime....
I’m just over 1 year sober and I still have drunk dreams, I still find them really unpleasant but I try to think about how you feel when you wake up and realise it’s not true and never has to be again!6 -
To those wondering what to say when offered a drink, I agree that it depends who is asking. If it is a stranger (bartender etc) you can just say,"no thanks, I'll have a seltzer." Absolutely no explanation is needed. To someone that you may know better, that knew you as a drinker before you might say, "I'm doing a challenge," or "i'm watching my weight." or even, "No thanks I've already had my lifetime supply." Honestly, anyone that continues to pester anyone else about this is obviously insecure in their own habits; I should know, I shamefully have done this in the past. I don't think any good comes from declaring, "because it is poison," "or anything that will make the other person defensive. That is unless they are being a total douche. Then just say whatever you want.
Haha I have my response if I get pushed..."No thanks. I can't afford another double matinee of ambulance/ER visit." Or, I could say "I've slowly developed an sensitivity to alcohol (which is evidenced in my face when I drink)." Or, "I've lost 12 pounds since I took a break and don't want to stop this roll."6 -
My sister used to tell people who asked, "I have an ulcer." And people shut up right away. I recently said "I won't have any wine. It likes me too much!" Have a great weekend! 5
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It'll be 6 years this July for me. AF AF 10
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@FeelinFooFoo That is so scary! I'm thankful you were not involved in any way in that terrible incident. I hope everyone will recover.
It is Saturday here, party day for my 90 year old father in law. I am looking forward to a sober but fun time with family we have not seen for ages. The party will be outside as we will do our best to physical distance. Here in Maryland we take it seriously and the cases are dropping a lot. Unfortunately many other states are not which is alarming. Anyway, there are relatives coming that only ever have seen me drink heavily at parties. I am hoping they (silently) notice I am not indulging. At least I am not at risk of saying or doing anything embarrassing. I am so mad at myself for all the wasted (literally) years. Oh well, we can only look forward, not back. Regret is not a useful emotion, though it can help keep me sober. I wish everyone a safe, sober and happy weekend. 8 -
@jent304 have a great birthday party.
In the spoiler below I got a little nostalgic thinking about the 90th birthday...What a honor to celebrate 90 years with that sweet man. He has seen more than we will ever imagine. He was a teen during WW2. Probably wanted to help but was too young. He saw the American pride when the boys came home and grieved those who didn’t. A blink of an eye later he saw Korea then Vietnam. He was scared to death during the Cuban Missile crisis bc at this time he probably had a family and mutually assured destruction was on our doorstep. He saw the heat if the Cold War and the fall of the Iron Curtain. Then things shifted to the Middle East.... He was probably worrying about grandkids at this point. Fast forward a few more years to now. In 2020 when we feel like we have seen it all - we get to know a sweet man is celebrating his 90th. 2020 pales in comparison to what he has collectively seen. He is of the greatest generation!!!!! Please don’t hug him for me!!! But know that we appreciate the hardships he has been thru to give us what we have today!!
What’s up with all the drinking dreams! First of all, I’ve been having effed up dreams for weeks. But last night takes the cake. First Dream was a drinking dream and in the dream I told myself how bad my HO was gonna be. Luckily I woke up to a nice, sober surprise! The second I found out that bc I’m currently nannying my grandson and working from my daughter’s home, that my boss decided to leave her 2 and 4 yr olds with me for a week while she goes on vacation. That one was WAY scarier!!!!!
Let’s celebrate the semi sane awake hours!!5 -
@Beka3695 Um, that is way cross the line by your boss, IMHO. Great she's that trusting, but that sounds out of bounds even if you aren't trying to work!2
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mainelylisa wrote: »@Beka3695 Um, that is way cross the line by your boss, IMHO. Great she's that trusting, but that sounds out of bounds even if you aren't trying to work!
Lisa, this was the second dream... didn’t really happen.
Technically a nightmare3 -
@FeelinFooFoo Ouch! I can just feel his pain and suffering from here. Whisky is a tough one- especially since he's so young; I bet his tolerance is not that high. Lesson learned. I have uttered "never again" millions of times. I am hoping he will be better than us and learn young. 3
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Aww @FeelinFooFoo ,your poor brother I don't miss that feeling at all! Sorry I haven't been around, I've been dealing with some blues cuz I thought covid was done but now I'm not sure what the immediate future holds, will we close again? What's the remedy to get rid of it for good? Grrrrrt very frustrating, 6:34 am in Vegas another 24,hope everyone has a great AF day🌻5
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@FeelinFooFoo Well thought out! I know that I drink when I'm anxious and bored. BUT then the next few days after drinking my anxiety gets so much worse and I'm bored because I'm lying in bed feeling like death.
I know that the weather can be such a downer, so I understand how you're feeling. You have some great realizations. I'm happy you share them with us.5 -
Today, I went to my trainer and am so happy that I don't drink. The workouts are so grueling in a good way, can you imagine if I paid all that money and had a hangover while trying to work out. YUK. Makes me sick thinking about it.
My sister came over and she said she's 107 days sober (she had a relapse 108 days ago) and I am about 75 days sober. She said there is such peace knowing that we don't have to worry about drunk texting. She said what if you were drunk and texted your ex that you miss him and want him back (which isn't true). She said all the drunk texts worries don't exist anymore. Hallelujah ! 8 -
@Beka3695 Doy...missed that and so glad it was a dream! @FeelinFooFoo You've got great insight. There will def be ups and downs and most of us are gonna slip. It's how we pull ourselves back up and hold our heads up high...mistakes and all...that will help us truly change. Sometimes I try to love myself like I would my child. If my child had stopped drinking (which he actually did) and then fell off the wagon one weekend, I would want to first, take care of him like you did your brother, and remind him how phenomenal that year as been and what an accomplishment, and that it's easy to make a mistake--we're human and not perfect, and encourage him to reflect, self-correct and start another wonderful year of sobriety.7
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I bought some AF wine Sunday. It was delicious and did not make me want the real stuff. My daughter came in and saw it - kind of freaked out till see saw it was AF.
I don’t want this to be the new norm, but it was a nice treat.5 -
Pogostickers wrote: »The love of my life is recovering and sober almost 10 yrs. I try not to drink at all anymore to be supportive. I love him so much, and I would Die rather than for him to slip off the wagon because of me. I'm Polish and we can drink and drink A lot. Maybe we saved each other.
This is beautiful! How understanding and loving you are to be supportive of his goals ❤️5 -
FeelinFooFoo wrote: »I bought some AF wine Sunday. It was delicious and did not make me want the real stuff. My daughter came in and saw it - kind of freaked out till see saw it was AF.
I don’t want this to be the new norm, but it was a nice treat.
I have been toying with the idea of trying AF beer / wine. I did worry it might be triggering. But I will most likely try it out, just even out of curiosity to see if it's nice. Could I ask you what AF wine you tried ? Most of the reviews for AF wine is that it's terrible 😆
I bought Frē red blend. It does not taste like real wine, but doesn’t taste like grape juice either. Maybe a mix???? I enjoyed it, but maybe bc it has been a while since I had the real thing.
I have also tried Ariel. It was ok, too1 -
I was watching Marcella (Netflix). In one scene, she and her boyfriend had several tequila shots and many beers. Then the next morning she's shown looking lovely and sipping her coffee. Ha! What an illusion it can be to watch how alcohol is portrayed on tv.
I've been thinking less and less of wine in the evenings. I simply don't have any alcohol at home, so that helps. Plus I have been drinking tea much more.
One last observation... at my new grocery store there is the fruits and vegetables section and then BAM you HAVE to walk through the beer and wine aisles to get to the rest of the store. I think that's awful placement although it's for profit so I get it. I found myself holding my breath while walking fast past my fav wines.... LOL4 -
I know AF wines and beers are controversial, and I certainly wouldn't want to suggest anything that triggers anybody. My only experience with AF wine was when I was prepping for a colonoscopy a few years ago. I don't like sweets at all, so the 7-Up, ginger ale thing was making me sick, and for my almost vegetarian self, the thought of drinking chicken broth grossed me out. So I asked my M.D. brother-in-law if AF white wine would be acceptable and he said yes, as long as it was white and less than .05 or whatever the AF cut-off is. I found it quite disgusting in taste and went back to water.
However, in her books, Clare Pooley (The Sober Mummy) speaks of really enjoying her AF beer. I've never been a beer drinker--maybe two per year on super hot Texas days. But I have been enjoying AF Becks and AF Heineken. Maybe it's because I'm not a connoisseur of beer, but to me they taste as good as the occasional "real" beers I would have. I totally understand that for some people, this would not be a good idea. For me, the AF beer (no more than one or two per week) tastes really good and helps me not even want anything alcoholic. Plus it's only 69 calories.6
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