The Sober Squad- Alcohol Free Living
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Hi Friends, Good news and bad news:
Good news: I am back on track; been attending AA meetings and now have a sponsor. Hooray!!
Bad news: During birthday week, I was weak. I fell off and had some wine with friends... because I thought I could.
Bad news: Felt like crap, headache, slept horribly... you know how that goes.
Good news: Feeling better. Attending Zoom AA meetings, reading big book. And I'll journal how alcohol has deceived me.
@FeelinFooFoo You are going to have to make an important decision. It is deeply personal if you are going to drink in August. So, I won't give you my opinion. Whatever you choose will be the right choice. Let us know how it goes. xo7 -
@RubyRed427, I know you will be back better than ever. I'll bet having a sponsor will be awesome.
Today is Day 13 of the Getting Unstuck course (Sober School). It has been worth every cent. Kate is genuinely involved with the women in the group on a day to day basis. She doesn't just throw videos at you; it is becoming a community. After the course there is a private FB group for graduates, so the community can continue. Just like here, it's so nice to realize we are not alone.
It's funny because I almost didn't take the course because it is expensive. Then I was offered a very lucrative one-on-one tutoring job for the rest of the summer with one of our juvenile students (incarcerated). I took that as a sign from the Universe that I could afford to sign up for the course, so I did. On the second day of tutoring, my student was released from incarceration. I think I earned about 40 bucks total because on the first day he had to leave quickly for court. But . . . I still think it was the Universe. For someone like me, who never "gets to the good bits" of sobriety because I cave in before I get there, this has been a godsend. For the first time I'm actually able to see myself as a long-term/permanent non-drinker. Anyway, just thought I'd throw that out there in case anyone is ever wondering about the course. I know I've been considering it off and on for several years now. And based on how much money I typically spent on booze, I'm probably at least going to break even money-wise.
Have a good weekend, everyone!5 -
@donimfp Love hearing your update on Day 13 Getting Unstuck. I find it so valuable to "invest" in our health and well being. We dont hesitate spending and wasting money at Target or our favorite stores, so I am so happy you are investing in your health and sobriety which is so important.
I love your experience with Kate. I am surprised and impressed she is genuinely involved with the group. Awesome!!
Today, I was on an AA zoom and someone welcomed the new comer (me). So I said a few words, which were "I am tired of tiptoeing and dancing around sobriety, just dipping my toe in AA, and not taking sobriety seriously." I have been on this journey to sobriety for about 2 years now, and I have to get deadly serious about my health goals. For me, Alcohol will eventually be my undoing if I don't apply myself and take this addiction seriously. It's time to do the hard work.
Wishing all a great day!
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Good for you, @RubyRed427. I am right there with you in feeling “enough is enough”!
You get much of the credit for my own journey since you started the Less Alcohol thread in January 2018. I clearly remember when you said it was your 49th birthday. Next year when you report on your 52nd it will be so great to hear about the sober celebration and my intention is to be completely able to relate to that!
I was surprised by Kate’s real involvement too because I once invested in a “course” that really was just nicely packaged content with no interaction with anyone—certainly not the famous “instructor.” When we have issues or questions, Kate gets back to us quickly. Plus we interact with each other constantly. I find myself thinking things like, “My Australian friends are already waking up to day 14.”3 -
I watched a documentary called Driven to Drink on 60 Minutes Australia the other night reporting that the consumption of alcohol by women is increasing to dangerous levels & talked about the reasons for that. What I found most interesting was that the paid advertisements were selling alcohol.2
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In that vein, I saw a TEDx talk that noted the alcohol industry targets girls with “skinny “ fruity drinks with vodka or rum, and when they hit college boys are bingeing on beer but girls are already on to the hard stuff. I realize it’s all alcohol but 5% vs 80 proof is significant. Scary.3
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Good morning friends! Make today a good one!
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Hi! Need some good books... here's a list. WE have read lots of these but for anyone new, here's a good list of sober books.
https://sober-bliss.com/sober-books/
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I am going to an AA Zoom each day now. Sometimes, I feel sorry for myself that I have an addiction. Other times, I feel proud that I'm working so hard on kicking it.
I typed a few page list of how my life has become unmanageable and all the consequences of my drinking. I was crying a little while typing. But it was therapeutic to see all the ways drinking has impacted my life.
The positive is that I have a choice. I can choose not to drink today.7 -
FeelinFooFoo wrote: »I drank on Friday after work. Didn't stop until early hours of the Saturday morning.
Still felt hungover getting ready for work this morning. Still feel kinda crappy now! I'm in my bed as soon as I came home from work.
All the brilliant, focussed and clear mind I had gifted myself by staying AF was gone. Replaced with anxiety, dark mood / dwelling on negativity. I have so much thinking to do. But right now I kinda don't have the energy.
I'm so sorry but it happens. It happens to all of us. It's part of the journey.
Give yourself time to think. Make a list of the consequences of your drinking. In time, you will do just fine. You know how good you felt and you can feel that way again. I am here for you- we all are. xo 6 -
@RubyRed427, I’ve been finding my “What I hated about drinking “ list very helpful to look at when tempted, to remind myself where I dont want to be again. Those are the things a drink represents for me now rather than false promises of fun, relaxation, comfort,etc.
@FeelinFooFoo, I’m sorry you’re going through this. Maybe you can keep your very vivid post to remind yourself of the reality of what alcohol “offers”.8 -
Hi everyone...
When I moved to this group from the less alcohol group I introduced myself with my stats including a <-1> for a one day hiccup. This hiccup was due to several thing - early COVID, working from home with a quarantined husband that was drinking EVERYTHING then the final straw was water damage to my basement. I drank... we fixed the basement... I moved on
At 830 last night, my husband calls. I hear a hissing noise in the background. He is in a panic. A drunken panic. The supply line to a toilet is spraying water everywhere. Remember I am 6+ hours away keeping our grandson... it takes 30+ minutes to get the water shut off. The main floor has water in 3 rooms and ceilings have fallen in the basement den and office.
My BFs husband went over and helped him make sure the water was off. Over FaceTime I’m instructing him to move stuff from the path of the water... it is handled for the moment. Luckily... I’m an insurance agent and was a property adjuster for 15 years before this.
In a few hours, the real fun begins. I am hoping to be able to head home around noon so I can coordinate on site the rest of the week.
THIS WILL NOT MAKE ME DRINK!!!!!7 -
Update 2 - the husband:
Last week... after he said he wanted to improve himself, I posted here that we talked late one night and I could hear in his voice that he was doing better. This continued for the whole week till the weekend.
So before the $#!+ storm started, husband had said to me that he waned to do better.
This happend and he was not fully capable of handling it alone. I feel like this might be God/universe showing him that he needs to make changes.
More to follow 🤦🏻♀️5 -
I am happy to have found this post. I have struggled with the moderation of drinking. For me it was slamming 15 beers a night or nothing. I was trying to numb my feelings, physical pain, mental pain or just trying to relax and forget about my troubles. I have a lot going on in my life and I am the strong one in my family. I have people around me who are physically and mentally struggling. I am doing better for myself with trying to lose the weight, eat better, exercise and stay away from the alcohol. I find that since I have started logging my food I really want to stick to it and alcohol just doesn't fit in. I miss it sometimes but all I have to do is remember how crappy it made me feel. That belly bloat made me look awful! Not to mention the hangovers or even puking in my sleep. I am committed to making lifestyle changes and alcohol no longer has a place in my life.6
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imgwendolyn2015 wrote: »I am happy to have found this post. I have struggled with the moderation of drinking. For me it was slamming 15 beers a night or nothing. I was trying to numb my feelings, physical pain, mental pain or just trying to relax and forget about my troubles. I have a lot going on in my life and I am the strong one in my family. I have people around me who are physically and mentally struggling. I am doing better for myself with trying to lose the weight, eat better, exercise and stay away from the alcohol. I find that since I have started logging my food I really want to stick to it and alcohol just doesn't fit in. I miss it sometimes but all I have to do is remember how crappy it made me feel. That belly bloat made me look awful! Not to mention the hangovers or even puking in my sleep. I am committed to making lifestyle changes and alcohol no longer has a place in my life.
Welcome 😊, sounds like everyone is going through some crazy stuff right now,just keep your heads up 💗 I just haven't felt 'right' for a bit and not been feeling like posting,not drinking though which is good but just being really pissed off and aggravated still over the state of the world 😭 anyhoo 6:27 am in Vegas another 24,hope everyone has a great day!7 -
6:36 am in Vegas another 24,hope everyone has a wonderful AF day 💗6
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@whitpauly Nice to see you posts I was thinking about you recently and wondered how you are doing. It is an emotional time for many- I know I have been crying here and there for no particular reason. Hang in there! 5
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@FeelinFooFoo I was listening to a podcast that said it is habit that is so deeply ingrained to reach for the bottle in times of stress or happiness or whatever, because that's what we've been doing for years to cope... So you are learning, normal, growing and figuring it all out. I'm happy you felt comfortable to express yourself about it on this thread. It helps us all, and we totally have been there.
I think going back to Annie Grace is a great idea. You had success and it will reinforce your thoughts on alcohol.
I know that our brain really struggles when we try to change it, so little by little, you will get there and find other coping mechanisms. But for now, you're doing well. Look at how many successful times you've had these past few months- tons of success.
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I have been trying to win this for the longest time too @FeelinFooFoo .
The starts and stops were many. Since 2015. I went 6 months then and my husband talked me into just having a few. Well you know how that goes. It wasnt up until last year that I gave it up completely. I know the tricks now. I dont let them fool me. My point is I just didnt jump on this thread last year and that was it. I had a long history beforehand of starts and stops. If you decide to be af permanently youll get there. 💜6 -
@FeelinFooFoo, I agree with @aroze0928. I don't think I"ve ever heard of anyone who makes a one-time decision and goes from heavy drinking to never drinking again. I'm sure it has happened, but it is definitely not the norm. I am finally finding my answer with the support of the Sober School class. What I'm also finding extremely helpful is reading a lot of sober memoirs. The writers of most of them are way closer to your age than to mine, so you might find them helpful. I particularly liked "The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober," "Mrs. D. is Going WIthout," and "Blackout." This may not be your cup of tea, but it might be another arrow in your quiver. Don't give up!9
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6:57 am in Vegas another 24,@FeelinFoofoo it's hard for me to stop the next few days again if I've drank, it just feeds that little monster and seems to make it want more, you're doing great tho, glad you can think it out clearly and make the right choices and not beat yourself up, does no good I've learned, waves to all and have a wonderful AF day 💗6
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6:57 am in Vegas another 24,@FeelinFoofoo it's hard for me to stop the next few days again if I've drank, it just feeds that little monster and seems to make it want more, you're doing great tho, glad you can think it out clearly and make the right choices and not beat yourself up, does no good I've learned, waves to all and have a wonderful AF day 💗
I am totally with you in that once I drink the next several days I dabble and drink a little more for a day or two...
It's those few anxious days after you drink that you need to survive and then you'll get back on track. Being AF builds momentum but that wolf is always in the woods. Have a great day in Vegas!
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@FeelinFooFoo I'm in the same boat as @aroze0928 most of my growing pains and on again/off again battle with trying to quit drinking was prior to joining the Less Alcohol thread & was SO thankful when Jen started this thread because my goal was to stay AF not drink less...cause that wasn't working for me and I was at the point where I knew I needed to stop. It will happen for you too. I'm glad that you realize the futility of beating yourself up cause you are learning...that is all, just a lesson in what you don't want. Even though our alcohol brains want it, you are stronger than that part of you. This is not a set back, it is part of your learning process and you ARE learning. You GO girl!! 5
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Good night ~ I'm going to bed sober. And it feels good. Tomorrow morning, I'll walk with a friend in the park. So happy I won't have a hangover.
Hope everyone has a productive weekend or just relax!!! Sometimes, we just need to just hang around and rest.8 -
9 hours of beautiful, uninterrupted sleep last night. AF life is awesome!!7
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6:49 am in Vegas another 24 💖,yep sober sleep is the best, I remember when I had my covid frustration drink spree back in March Fitbit had me having oxygen surges while I was sleeping restless, that's kinda scary to me, glad I'm not drinking, hope everyone has a beautiful AF day🌷7
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Feeling bored here on a Saturday afternoon; this wolf says "c'mon relax have one". Then my real brain says "One will lead to ten." Start cleaning or reading instead....6
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RubyRed427 wrote: »Feeling bored here on a Saturday afternoon; this wolf says "c'mon relax have one". Then my real brain says "One will lead to ten." Start cleaning or reading instead....
Feel the same some days. Day can feel endless glad your hangin in!5 -
Yesterday in Sober School Kate posted a "How She Did It" piece from one of her "graduates." She does this several times a week. Anyway, this young woman, who has been sober since 2017, was an eloquent writer. Wish she would write a book. She made an excellent point. While careful to acknowledge that AA has helped countless people, she noted that a problem with the particular group she attended was that the women seemed to put alcohol on a pedestal--like it was this wonderful substance that they were unlucky enough to not be able to enjoy, whereas other people could enjoy it and not suffer. Doing this, she felt, was keeping them stuck in a yearning for something that is a toxin that did no one any favors, ever, instead of enjoying the glorious life @FeelinFooFoo referred to ("Pure joy. Bags of energy. Natural high"). She said that sobriety needn't be filled with unending drama. After the hard bits (the beginning), there is so much to embrace in life without looking back longingly at something that isn't worth it.
This mindset is helping me, this time, to go literally days without missing alcohol one little bit. Grapefruit juice and tonic is helping, too!6 -
Hi, I am on less than one day without drinking. I made a decision to stop my drinking because I know that I do have a problem with it, especially binge drinking. I turned to alcohol over a year ago after I went through some extreme traumas. I currently live in my van and alcohol is a daily thing to keep me going. I no longer drink on the job, but I do binge drink mostly every night and when I have intrusive thoughts and memories of the trauma. I do see a therapist and psychiatrist, and while they have suggested AA, its not aligned with my overall beliefs so I don't want to go. I do have good willpower and I am capable of getting off of alcohol, I just need some support. I think I'm probably physically addicted to it, but I'm not sure. Looking for non judgmental support.
Thanks for your time.11
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