The Sober Squad- Alcohol Free Living
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going on day 3 af, taking all of your advice and taking it one day at a time and focusing on the little victories.
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@mtngrl3 We are here for you. We have heard it all. There is nothing so bad that you cannot overcome. We are a judgment free community.
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if it helps, start telling your storygoing on day 3 af, taking all of your advice and taking it one day at a time and focusing on the little victories.
here are some highlights of mine:
- i started drinking around 12 years old
- when i was in jr high we had a jungle juice party at the local park and early the next morning i woke up in a puddle of my own vomit. i was on my side, so i didn’t die that night
- about 12 years ago i passed out in my brother-in-law’s driveway when it was -20 outside. he came and found me, so i didn’t die that night either
plenty more, maybe later
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@wiigelec Glad you didn't die and that you found us.
I can relate to your experience. I also had an early start to my drinking career...I had my first drink at my sisters wedding at 13. I was one of her bridesmaids and remember sitting on the bathroom counter at her reception, drunk, bawling my eyes out about something or other, and from there began my slow & predictable decline into serious alcohol issues. Once, when at 16 years old, I was with friends at the roller skating rink, but rather than skate with them I went into the bush with a bunch of guys to drink...I ended up drinking the better part of a 26oz bottle of whiskey straight up and remember being carried out of the bush by one of my male friends and spending the night in someone's tent with him as he tried to put the moves on me and then hitch-hiking home with my "friend" in the early morning hours thankful that I hadn't been raped. I had all kinds of scary things happen to me when I was under the influence...stupid drunken choices that I was ashamed of and that shame actually fueled further drinking....ugh!! When I think back to those kind of episodes now, it is evidence of a very troubled girl, young woman and adult woman. It was a huge symptom of an underlying problem. I had no idea back then, but when we know better, we do better and so educating ourselves and getting to the root of the real problem is key...drinking is only a symptom of something else...it is an indicator that we have some internal issues that need to be addressed. WOW, I didn't plan on sharing all that!! Sharing is what helps me to process my issues, and I find this space safe to do that....Like @JenT304 said, "we are a judgement-free community."
@RubyRed427 ~ you have a very compassionate heart & I can see why the "stray cats" are drawn to you, that is why it is SO important to draw the line in the sand as you said, boundaries are key & I'm glad you were able to draw that boundary with your neighbor. It is really difficult to watch a train wreck in motion knowing there is nothing you can do to stop it, BUT there is nothing you can do to stop it! Your example speaks volumes and is one of the most valuable things you can provide for another.
Thought for the day, "It doesn't matter how slowly you go as long as you don't give up." ~Confucius~
Happy, healthy AF weekend to all of us 7 -
@lorrainequiche59 thanks for sharing!
how long has it been since your last drink? still get cravings?
i get cravings, and it’s a good reminder for me why i had to quit. getting kittened up was way too important a part of my life, and a devastating one at that.
i know some people want to quit for a while and return in moderation. i’ve tried that a couple times and it always ended up in the same place, even years later
sometimes i have a dream that i have a drink, and when i wake up it scares the kitten out of me7 -
@mtngrl3 We are here for you. We have heard it all. There is nothing so bad that you cannot overcome. We are a judgment free community.
thank you. i've been thinking about telling my story there's a lot to it. @wiigelec i started around 15-16. typical high school stuff. I got married to an abuser and it really started spiraling out of control. He was and still does have major drinking issues and it introduced me to a way of drinking with him, then me drinking to cope and escape/I've never been a mean drunk (going through domestic violence divorce currently and have custody of my 5 yr old daughter and 4 yr old son - thank god I got them out of that situation BUT...) I was in denial for a long time and still fighting with using drinking as a coping mechanism. There's a lot more story, for later. Last night was AF night again. Cleaned out all my empty bottles hidden throughout the house a couple days ago and still finding more.9 -
@lorrainequiche59 thanks for sharing!
how long has it been since your last drink? still get cravings?
i get cravings, and it’s a good reminder for me why i had to quit. getting kittened up was way too important a part of my life, and a devastating one at that.
i know some people want to quit for a while and return in moderation. i’ve tried that a couple times and it always ended up in the same place, even years later
sometimes i have a dream that i have a drink, and when i wake up it scares the kitten out of me
I've been AF for 2.5 years thank you in large part to this supportive group. I also watched YouTube videos re: alcohol abuse, such as Craig Beck & Annie Grace to name a couple. Up to that point I had stopped drinking for varying lengths of time, but as time progressed it got harder to do longer stretches without my favorite numbing tool. I've learned that moderation is for "normal" drinkers who do not have an issue with alcohol.
The first year was the hardest and just before my 1st sober-versary my favorite brother died and I was crushed...I almost gave in to the craving to just numb it all away temporarily & even went & purchased 2 bottles of wine & had them sitting on my counter ready to be opened, glass rinsed out ... and then I decided to come on this group first and fess up & beg for some words of wisdom. As I was writing it out I decided to go on YouTube and I watched a video of Dick Cavett's 1976 (?) interview with Dick VanDyke (auto correct is going to put "kitten" in here somewhere, I think VanDyke lol Dike? might be better
) Anyway, it is exactly what I needed to stop the insanity. Close call then, but I don't crave as a rule...the odd time out of the blue, my drinking brain will kick in briefly to remind me of the temporary escape and "wouldn't it be nice IF...." Then I begin to recite all the reasons why I LOVE being sober....works every time. 6 -
I am getting concerned about Whitpauly. Has anyone seen her on any other thread? Is anyone "friends" with her and can message her? She hasn't been on in a long time.6
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@FeelinFooFoo , Hooray for you!!!!! 50 days is really impressive!! It’s been fun to watch your journey through your honest accounts of your ups and downs. Have a wonderful weekend and treat yourself to something special to celebrate.7
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I'm away at an airbnb with friends- all are drinking heavily but not me!!! They can! I won't.
But I was dancing in the living room with them and it was still fun.
I know tomorrow morning, I'll go and get some coffee and tonight I won't have racing heartbeat at night.
Always a silver lining..
so nice to see the thread hopping. Will Read more tomorrow.6 -
I made this cute little Santa house with my granddaughters, out of pop tarts. Outside, on the deck,in masks, but at least we got together. It was a fun project. I'm trying to enjoy the little things, which when you think about it, are really the big things in life.6 -
Reading thru all the posts I missed yesterday.... man, we are so lucky to be alive!!!!
@FeelinFooFoo congrats on 50 days!!!!
@rubyred427. You are one strong lady!!
I’m spending the day with my husband. I cried driving home last night. He was drinking and in bed long before I arrived. I keep telling myself I get to leave at noon tomorrow. How sad is that! Just holding things together until the exit path presents itself.
Still sober - 286 days!!!10 -
@RubyRed427, I'm impressed! I don't think I'm yet to the point that I could enjoy dancing sober surrounded by drinking friends. Good for you! And enjoy your hangover-free weekend.
@Beka3695, again, I'm sorry you're having to go through this. It won't be forever, but I'm definitely wishing you strength and peace as you go through this. And many high fives on the 286 days!
I just woke up to a couple of good news texts from my daughter. Always welcome these days or any days. Here's one everyone might appreciate. It happens that my husband's milestone 70TH BIRTHDAY (OMG!!!) is Monday. We might see it in under the Texas sky. https://www.space.com/geminid-meteor-shower-2020-what-to-expect
Have a wonderful weekend, everyone. Wishing you some nice, cheap sober thrills, Foo Foo.4 -
I am getting concerned about Whitpauly. Has anyone seen her on any other thread? Is anyone "friends" with her and can message her? She hasn't been on in a long time.
Interesting that you mentioned @Whitpauly cause I think of her often. I messaged her on June 25 with no reply back...not long after that I checked her on my friend list and she hadn't signed in for awhile (not sure of specific time period, but it was a length of time, months if I vaguely remember correctly)
I just checked now on my friend list it says her last sign in was 2 months ago. So I'm thinking between June 25 & and October, she signed in at some point, but it looks like she is missing in action for the time being. I had told her in my last message that I missed seeing her "another 24." As we all know she was having a really difficult time with Covid and I hope too that she is ok and that she finds her way back to us. 4 -
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Just checking in... had a long talk with my husband today. He says he is not ready to toss in the towel yet. However, he has given me probably 5 different separation scenarios... it has been oddly calm. He has turned to the bottle now and is passed out in the bed beside me 😞
It will all work out!!!9 -
Checking in, still going strong. Today is my friday which is a rough one, going to go home drink some tea and wrap presents, normally I would be drinking while I wrapped so tonight will be rough/interesting. @FeelinFooFoo I love your Santa house!5
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Happy Sunday...AF since Thanksgiving. For short spurts, anyway, much easier to go for AF streaks than try to moderate. Esp after an "incident" (aka reminder of how I can moderate..until I don't one day).
Found an IPA that I absolutely cannot tell is AF. Brooklyn Special Effects. And it has a groovy package! I have more to try too!
@Beka3695 My heart goes out to you. I'm glad you feel safe to share here. It will all work out. I'm not sure I believe in Happily Ever After. I'm more of the mind that we connect, grow and learn with someone for a time. Of course, now that I'm older, it's somewhat terrifying thinking of my current relationship ending because I finally have a good person for me and am mature enough to be in a good relationship. Even when we find the perfect person for us, one or both of us can change and the whole dynamics can change. I think when alcohol has been an important part of a relationship, it's even more complicated.
@JenT304 Indeed...the little things. So cute and I'm gonna need to find some grandchildren to borrow if my kids don't get with the program!7 -
Its unbelievable. I got another reminder of how sickening alcohol is and thought Id air out the dirty laundry(literally)
My husband was talking it up yesterday how fun it would be to have "one". Hes lost so much weight since quitting...hes been so good hes earned it. "Lets have one". Pulled in to the packy. I waited in the car.
Well 3 large stiff ones later it aint so pretty. He puked in our bed.
I was up all night worried about him. Trying to sleep in the spare bedroom.
Guess whos cleaning today. Cant let him clean up after himself he'll half as it. That is going to be triple washed if not replaced.
I cant have just one and obviously neither can he. To think I considered partaking in the very short lived fun.
Blessed to be AF everyday!9 -
@aroze0928 I cannot imagine. I'm so sorry! I hope after your cleaning is done, you can treat yourself to some pampering. You deserve it. Hopefully your husband will realize that misery is not worth it.
23 weeks for me today (Day 161). It's the eve of my husband's 70th birthday. Don't know why exactly, but that is FREAKING ME OUT! We are both so young! Maybe it's because we've both taught teenagers forever, but we just feel and seem young to me. He definitely looks like he's in his 50s. I remember when I turned 50 thinking, "Yeah, but 'old' is not until 65." Well, that milestone will be mine next Thursday. So we're both "celebrating" big ones this week.
I'm being a little flippant about it, but I really am kind of reeling emotionally, on the verge of crying. I don't really understand this. And a drink is just very vaguely tempting, but thankfully not especially tempting as it would have been a few months ago. I know I need to be thankful. As George Clooney said, "The alternative is 'dead,' so you have to be okay with it." But I don't know. Just thinking out loud.
Have a great Sunday, everyone.6 -
Brought myself a journal today to start my big push is after xmas but planning and having more AF days is working well already starting to feel less like a drink!7
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@donimfp YAY on 161 days!! I can relate to the aging thing...it's like it sneaks up and then blam your old on the calendar, but don't feel old inside!! It IS just a number cause I like to think of each day when I get feeling kinda frieked out about getting older...I just figure we only get to live one day at a time anyway and as long as this 24 hr period is relatively good, it is a blessing to grow old...some people do not get to.
@aroze0928 I'm glad you were able to resist your "close call with alcohol" You hubby has done great in his efforts to ditch the drink & I'm sure there'll be a lesson learned for him through his drinking faux paus. You are doing fantastic!! 4 -
@aroze0928 that story hits home. I bet he thought it would be different this time... but I guess not. In a way, that was an affirmation of how we don't want that to be us anymore. A sad tale. Hopefully, he will grow from it.
I had a good weekend all sober while they drank like fish. I wondered how they woke up and seemed pretty good. Not hungover. Then, I heard that they put some whisky in their coffee and one friend had vodka in his OJ. Now, I get it.
The amount of Crown whiskey and Vodka consumed was incredible; eye opening for me to be on the other end just an observer.
Now today, I suddenly felt a craving... ex husband declined breakfast with the kids on Xmas morning in reverence to his new girlfriend. Right away, I wanted a drink to escape from my feelings. So, I worked out and will take a bubble bath... and curse him from afar LOL not really but.
I saw a quote the aftereffects of drinking last far longer than the craving.
Tomorrow will be day 100. But for today, I'll just thank God for day 99 AF.9 -
lorrainequiche59 wrote: »I am getting concerned about Whitpauly. Has anyone seen her on any other thread? Is anyone "friends" with her and can message her? She hasn't been on in a long time.
Interesting that you mentioned @Whitpauly cause I think of her often. I messaged her on June 25 with no reply back...not long after that I checked her on my friend list and she hadn't signed in for awhile (not sure of specific time period, but it was a length of time, months if I vaguely remember correctly)
I just checked now on my friend list it says her last sign in was 2 months ago. So I'm thinking between June 25 & and October, she signed in at some point, but it looks like she is missing in action for the time being. I had told her in my last message that I missed seeing her "another 24." As we all know she was having a really difficult time with Covid and I hope too that she is ok and that she finds her way back to us.
Thanks for letting us know that you messaged her. She may be unemployed due to Covid; remember how mean her boss was if I remember correctly. I hope she is ok.5 -
@mainelylisa I will have to look for that AF beer.
I had an AF beer at a bar while we watched Army Vs. Navy and It had full body and tasted exactly like a real one. I was content with it.3 -
Just checking in... had a long talk with my husband today. He says he is not ready to toss in the towel yet. However, he has given me probably 5 different separation scenarios... it has been oddly calm. He has turned to the bottle now and is passed out in the bed beside me 😞
It will all work out!!!
I feel for you. You are making a wise choice staying sober through this turmoil, so you can have a clear head and make sound decisions for your future.
One thing that kept me going through my relationship trouble (then divorce) was I kept saying to myself "in one year I will be happy that I ......" Because time just keeps marching on and on.
I experienced temporary pain, agony, heartbreak but a year later... peace.7 -
@RubyRed427 Yay for you!!! 100 days!!!!! Awesome! That is such a big milestone to celebrate!
I've been slowly but surely organizing every drawer and cabinet in our house, room by room. It feels SO good to do this, and I'm amazed at both the forgotten treasures I'm finding and at how much useless stuff needs to be either trashed or donated. Anyway, just by coincidence, the spot on my list to de-clutter today was my little writing desk in our bedroom. I hardly ever actually use it. It's just a pretty antique desk I bought at an auction when I lived in Scotland. Well, that desk is where all my old journals have landed. Going back to 1983! Obviously I didn't stop and read them all, but I dipped in here and there. I did slowly re-read about the first birthday I spent with my husband, before we were married--his 41st on Dec. 14, 1991. It was sweet. It feels like that was yesterday, yet when I read it I feel like we were such precious "kids" (I was about to turn 36). So no mourning here . . . just reflecting on how much we've been through good and bad in 30 years. I told him I'm figuring we have another 30 in us, but whether God is figuring like I'm figuring is a mystery. My wish today is that I could ever make anyone feel as loved as my husband makes me feel. I realize that's a blessing not to be taken for granted.
Sorry for the rambling reflectiveness today. Thank goodness I have to go to work tomorrow!9 -
@donimfp You have a beautiful love story! I loved reading your reflective entry.5
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