WOMEN AGES 50+ FOR JUNE 2019
Replies
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Debby VA - Don’t worry about it I’m a preachers Daughter so I goof up too lol. Funny part is I’ve raised Atheist,Buddhist ,catholic,Pentecostal ,Baptist’s ,Jewish, Lutheran,Witchcrafter,etc etc. well JRs too young to decide yet. You know what their happy that’s all that counts to me. They all get along.Can raise them your way but it’s up to them at the end of the day especially now that all but JR pays taxes 😂...at least I don’t think JR pays taxes he claims he’s the Boss of a construction company his workers have to listen to him use his excavator.
Well IBS deciding NO more diet foods today throwing up water so gotta back off a few days. So regular foods with no veggies 🌶 something hard solid easy like sandwiches 🥪 or 🍕 pizza or even cookies 🍪,Macaroni. Something threw it off not sure what so gotta go through the spices I tried today try 1 by 1 later until I find the culprit.Ulcerative Colitis or Gastritis
SW 195
Cw. 166.4
Amber Tx3 -
Kim - that is splendid news!!! Happy Dancing for you
Lanette1 -
Lol,Amber.Maybe if there are past lives,that’s what JR is experiencing.Sounds like you have an extremely Full life and have raised many wonderful children.So sorry to hear that you’re not feeling good.I know a bit about those issues.We moved here from another part of the state because one of our neighbors was so mean to me,I spent Every moment in the bathroom.I could not leave my house.It was stress for me that caused all of that though.I do hope you find what has done it to you,Soon.
Debby In Va2 -
☘️1
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Will be 55 in one month. Would like to be under 245 which means 10 lbs. hope this will jump start my weight lose journey.5
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Debby VA- Nah JRs just copying SR y his family y mine their almost all owners of their own Construction Companies so JRs observant doesn’t like being told NO. Lol he heard Daddy say I’m the boss so you have to listen to me 👂 over the phone at a worker so now it’s his favorite thing to say.
JR also thinks his sister isn’t in the Navy she lives with Siri in the phone lol 😂.
Amber Tx3 -
stats for the day:
bike ride hm 2 gym- 6.35min, 14.4amph, 135mhr, 1.57mi= 71c
apple watch- 62c
LATERAL MACHINE- 20min, resist8, 130ahr, 144mhr, 2.28mi= 199c
apple watch- 171c
bike ride gym 2 dome- 5.03min, 17.6amph, 133mhr, 1.48mi= 62c
apple watch- 40c
jog station 2 wrk- 5.06min, 145mhr, 9.58min mi, .51mi= 57c
apple watch- 56c
jog wrk 2 sta- 4.29min, 9.56min mi, 144mhr, .45mi= 68c
apple watch- 60c
bike ride dome 2 hm- 17.33min, 8.7amph, 148mhr, 2.54mi= 189c
apple watch- 138c
total cal 6463 -
MichelleMinn wrote: »
re: law of attraction - while I think it is important to find positives in things (especially when things are very dark), I sometimes think the law of attraction and the positivity movement as a whole is akin to the puritan work ethic which says only those who pull themselves up by their bootstraps (or those who are positive or who manifest positivity) will succeed. There are plenty of people who work very hard and yet do nothing more than just scrape by... and lots of people who *can't* pull themselves up because they have so many issues in life that actively pull them down (whether it be disability, race, class, economics, sex - or just plain bad luck). I think it's important to err on the side that lack of success is NOT a moral failing... because so many people end up placing the blame on themselves for not being successful or positive enough and I don't think that's helpful. I spent a lot of time in my life thinking I was failing miserably because I didn't work hard enough (whether it be with weight loss/exercise, or with a career, or relationships and family). But I worked very hard and was far too hard on myself. I still like to be grateful, however and see what it is in what is happening that can be a positive.
-Shannon in rural Ontario, Canada
All these points are really well taken. I read a book called, I think, The Downside of Positive Thinking, and it clearly and eloquently made clear that positivity can be toxic, because it drowns out empathy and support, and pushes away people who you consider a bummer.
For instance, disease support groups that only want to talk about being upbeat and "winning," and leave no room for people who ARE terminal, and just need people to help them with that, and not tell them to keep fighting. They can be pushed out for being off message or making people sad.
Positivity also cannot be an excuse for irresponsibility. You still have to deal with the situation before you. Or else markets collapse, and chaos ensues.
I get that I even get to sit her and ponder this all because I am privileged and have options. Whatever I think of this for myself, I wouldn't presume to blame people for their misfortunes. Children, people, die without ever having had an opportunity, and that's not on them. People are abused because the abuser chose to abuse them, not because they had it coming. At the point that I lose sight of that, that's my issue.
But being someone with options and privileges, it's a shame for me to lose sight of that, and only focus on what I don't have when others would love those same privileges and opportunities. And my taking advantage of all of these carries a responsibility to help others.
I struggled with that positivity business when my husband has his accident in March 2018. The diagnosis is severe brain injury. It is a permanent thing with all sorts of side effects, and he will never be the way he was before.
Yet I had people who meant well and were trying to be reassuring telling me that they "felt" like he was going to be OK and that I just needed to focus on the positive and think positive thoughts ... strongly and continually.
But as the weeks and months went by and he wasn't miraculously healed, some people started to lose interest. Maybe they thought I was being too negative and didn't have enough positivity.
Nevertheless, given that the first prognosis was that he was going to need to go into a nursing home and would require permanent care, he has had what specialists are calling a "remarkable recovery" ... and that's great! But he is nowhere near back to the way he was before. Everything has changed. I miss "him". And his recovery process will go on for years and years. That's life. Life isn't always wonderful.
Among all the encouragements to focus on the positive and think positive thoughts, one thing I discovered several months ago that was immensely helpful and freeing was the idea that I could give myself permission to feel what I feel. It was OK to feel deep sadness, grief, anger, negativity. I didn't have to be positive all the time! I could even allow myself to wallow in the negativity for a while and for whatever reason ... that helped me cope.
This is very good:
https://www.caregiver.org/emotional-side-caregiving
"All of your emotions, good and bad, about caregiving are not only allowed, but valid and important."
Machka in Oz7 -
Amber-Lol,gotcha.He is as cute as he can be and I’m Sure he’s a handful!We’ve had our 4 year old grandson for a week and it’s been wonderful.He and our youngest daughter lived with us for a year,so I get what it’s like to have a little one in the house when you’re a little older.
Debby In Va2 -
Did the RushFit DVD. I’m not quite sure how I feel about it. The plan for tomorrow is to do the Peak Fitness Challenge DVD. That’s not as long as I usually work out but I have to leave early to meet Jess to pick up Shadow. We’ll be watching her while Jess is in Iowa. She’s a worry wart so I was going to tell her that Vince was home cutting the grass but he feels that I should tell her the truth. I’m just afraid it’ll spoil her vacation.
Rebecca – It’s nice to go away, but it’s nice to come home. How do you make the faux stained glass?
JR – you really impress me taking in all those children. I honestly don’t think I could do it. It takes someone real special and that’s you!
M – how right you are that our bodies change. I had a REALLY nice skirt suit, but when I went to try it on, it was just too tight around the waist. Still fit me in the hips but way too tight in the waist. My body just changed
Lisa – I’m not even going to waste my breath trying to get Vince to not worry about things being perfect. I’ll just do it my way and if he doesn’t like it, he can do it himself! Of course, he didn’t go to ceramics last night, I did. He was turning the steering wheel on the tractor (if I’d done it it just would have taken longer – that’s all) and pulled his back.
Pip – when was that pic of Bullwinkle with the underwear on taken? A friend of mine just had her dog spayed and the dog absolutely hated the “cone of shame” so what she did was buy an infant onesie and put that on the dog just until the stitches healed enough that she wouldn’t chew at them.
Barbara – normally, I would tell Vince to do it himself. I have. But I know right now the excuse will always be “my back” and nothing will get done unless I do it. Like today I grouted the spillover from the spa into the pool. Sure enough, Vince was right there even doing it. Poor me had to stand in the spa to do it Don’t you feel my pain??? Lol Anyway, there are things that I just can’t do (like screening, that takes 2 people), but like I said, if I don’t do it, it won’t get done at all. So rather than listening to complaints all the time, I’ll just do it myself
Went in the pool. Boy, do I feel good even tho I didn’t have the sound of the waterfall. Tonight the plan is to put the sealer on the new grout and hopefully I can get Vince to let me cut this wood. See, we want to put the ceramics that will go by the house on a piece of wood because right now I have to put them so far into the mulch that you can’t see their feet. Update: the grout wasn’t dry so we couldn’t put the sealer on
Welcome everyone new! Keep coming back and let us know more about you. Post when you feel like what you feel like
Whenever I purge something, it goes to the Salvation Army if it’s decent
Protein Powders: I use the Tone It Up. That was the only brand I could find that didn’t have added sugars or sugar substitute.
Drkatie – Getting protein powders in individual packets isn’t an option around here either. The only place I’ve ever seen that is in a health food store in FL
Kim – Yea for you!!!!
KJ – you always have such neat things that you have the kids doing. Wish my kids had that when they went to preschool
Michele in NC
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Kim hooray 0 -
Machka9,
I'm so sorry about your husband, and about what you've lost, and how much has changed. I'm glad he has made better progress than expected.
Life, however it works, is complicated, with lots of variables, and telling someone to whistle a happy tune, when you're not in their shoes -- even if you're in similar shoes -- is wrong, and vile. And ineffective.
I think people fear tragedy, and so if they can judge or figure out a plan for someone else's hardship, they think they become immune. It's like people who blame parents for a loss of a child, as if this never happens to good parents, as if tragedy is proof the person was unworthy ... and since they would personally never do the thing (that they probably have done) then their children, their lives are safe.
You get to feel how you need to feel.
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You guys are so sweet big hugs 🤗
Amber Tx7 -
Funniest part is my Dad is this comic guys Doppelgänger lol.He had the same set up until my Daughter upgraded him to her old laptop 💻 y We gave him a onsale Ipad
Amber SA TX
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Michele in NC, the faux stained glass is just an acrylic pane, not glass. Son bought a big gallon container of clear glue. We mixed it with acrylic paints. First drew the picture then put it behind the clear acrylic pane and painted with black paint/glue mixture the outlines. Then made up the mixtures in plastic cups the colors we wanted. It was a fun project!
💖Rebecca
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MichelleMinn wrote: »
re: law of attraction - while I think it is important to find positives in things (especially when things are very dark), I sometimes think the law of attraction and the positivity movement as a whole is akin to the puritan work ethic which says only those who pull themselves up by their bootstraps (or those who are positive or who manifest positivity) will succeed. There are plenty of people who work very hard and yet do nothing more than just scrape by... and lots of people who *can't* pull themselves up because they have so many issues in life that actively pull them down (whether it be disability, race, class, economics, sex - or just plain bad luck). I think it's important to err on the side that lack of success is NOT a moral failing... because so many people end up placing the blame on themselves for not being successful or positive enough and I don't think that's helpful. I spent a lot of time in my life thinking I was failing miserably because I didn't work hard enough (whether it be with weight loss/exercise, or with a career, or relationships and family). But I worked very hard and was far too hard on myself. I still like to be grateful, however and see what it is in what is happening that can be a positive.
-Shannon in rural Ontario, Canada
All these points are really well taken. I read a book called, I think, The Downside of Positive Thinking, and it clearly and eloquently made clear that positivity can be toxic, because it drowns out empathy and support, and pushes away people who you consider a bummer.
For instance, disease support groups that only want to talk about being upbeat and "winning," and leave no room for people who ARE terminal, and just need people to help them with that, and not tell them to keep fighting. They can be pushed out for being off message or making people sad.
Positivity also cannot be an excuse for irresponsibility. You still have to deal with the situation before you. Or else markets collapse, and chaos ensues.
I get that I even get to sit her and ponder this all because I am privileged and have options. Whatever I think of this for myself, I wouldn't presume to blame people for their misfortunes. Children, people, die without ever having had an opportunity, and that's not on them. People are abused because the abuser chose to abuse them, not because they had it coming. At the point that I lose sight of that, that's my issue.
But being someone with options and privileges, it's a shame for me to lose sight of that, and only focus on what I don't have when others would love those same privileges and opportunities. And my taking advantage of all of these carries a responsibility to help others.
I struggled with that positivity business when my husband has his accident in March 2018. The diagnosis is severe brain injury. It is a permanent thing with all sorts of side effects, and he will never be the way he was before.
Yet I had people who meant well and were trying to be reassuring telling me that they "felt" like he was going to be OK and that I just needed to focus on the positive and think positive thoughts ... strongly and continually.
But as the weeks and months went by and he wasn't miraculously healed, some people started to lose interest. Maybe they thought I was being too negative and didn't have enough positivity.
Nevertheless, given that the first prognosis was that he was going to need to go into a nursing home and would require permanent care, he has had what specialists are calling a "remarkable recovery" ... and that's great! But he is nowhere near back to the way he was before. Everything has changed. I miss "him". And his recovery process will go on for years and years. That's life. Life isn't always wonderful.
Among all the encouragements to focus on the positive and think positive thoughts, one thing I discovered several months ago that was immensely helpful and freeing was the idea that I could give myself permission to feel what I feel. It was OK to feel deep sadness, grief, anger, negativity. I didn't have to be positive all the time! I could even allow myself to wallow in the negativity for a while and for whatever reason ... that helped me cope.
This is very good:
https://www.caregiver.org/emotional-side-caregiving
"All of your emotions, good and bad, about caregiving are not only allowed, but valid and important."
Machka in Oz
So true! I have come to the same conclusion as we deal with our son's health issues. I still think the poem by Rumi says it well.
The Guest House
This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.
A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.
Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they are a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still, treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.
The dark thought, the shame, the malice.
meet them at the door laughing and invite them in.
Be grateful for whatever comes.
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.
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Kim what a terrific change of events. So so thrilled for you. You work so hard and are so generous with others you deserve this. Great work!!
Janetr OKC!!2 -
That's lovely, margaretturk
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Heather, I tried another AF red wine, gack. Poured it down the drain and opened up the Beringer Grand Reserve Merlot.
Machka thank you for understanding about decluttering! Amen about the validation of your emotions.
beadowl we've used a radio (and light) to evict the mystery critter who was gnawing under the house, will suggest it to Joe for the garbage. Bear spray, now why didn't we think of that, there's a huge cannister on the counter next to the sliding glass doors.
Lanette, hot sauce, hmm, maybe. "Sometimes there's no other option" true, but not yet. Neighbor says "it's a nice bear" meaning they looked at each other, then bear turned away and left. Don't want to involve Oregon Fish and wildlife, they destroy, not relocate, "habituated" bears.
Amber you're right, I rinse all cans (for recycling) and even egg shells. Joe didn't rinse a sardine can last week and now he knows... Bleach maybe, but no room in freezer for garbage
Rita you look absolutely fabulous!
Katla "There is hope for having fun together in the RV" Fingers, toes, eyes X'd for you! Keeping the garbage in the garage is a possibility if Joe's Plan C (a crosswise strap and more spray) fails. We are way out in the country, Joe has to truck the garbage can a quarter of a mile down to the pavement for pickup. So far, the bear has only hit us up here in the woods, not down on the street. Hope your RV is fixed SOON and you can get away before the pre-fourth fireworks start. Shame on Washington State, haven't they heard it's fire season?
Shannon "lack of success is not a moral failing" amen
Michelle in MN, thoughtful response to Shannon, especially not presuming to blame people for their misfortunes. Loved the comment about pea protein, I cringed a little when I read it, but didn't realize why until I said it aloud in my head.
Allie 80 hours? :noway: Hope you get some good rest tonight.
Kim Hip Hip HOORAY! Well done!!!
KJ I REALLY want to come play at your house!
Michele what is the truth about why Vince isn't going with you to pick up Shadow? Is it his back?
Margaret thank you for the Rumi poem.
Welcome @dyfthompson and @Anniesquats100 and @readingteacher2613 !
Short on protein and steps today, way over on sugar, calories and wine. But wait, there's still time to walk with Leslie Sansome and eat some yoghurt...
Lighter, lovelies!
Barbara, the Southern Oregon Coastie AHMOD
Meditate 8/30, knee exercises 9/30, 60 g protein 24/30, vits+rx 19.5/30, play with Tumble 9/30, AF 21/30, steps: Mon=5636, Tue=5519, Wed=3304 :{
Word for 2019: "GOOD" good attitude, good food, good times, good choices, good enough, feel good, GOOD! Word for June might be equilibrium.
6 -
I barely squeaked under maintenance calories yesterday, so I'm going to wait until tomorrow for the weigh in. (I like to have totalled up the deficit to 3600 cals)
I succumbed to a little bit of 'lonely' eating, a cold sausage beckoned from the fridge. Then I put some white wine in the fridge as our visitor might be staying for dinner. He didn't stay and he had a cup of tea instead, so we drank the wine. Oooops! (It's only Thursday)
Barbara - The only AF wine I like is the Torres Natureo. It's not the same, but it's more than tolerable, especially the pink. I also like the Scavi and Ray sparkling wine. I order that from Amazon. Good job the beers are so good now. My favourites are Big Drop Pale Ale and Brewdog 's Nanny State.
Machka - good article. 'Caring' is the hardest job of all. Hard enough when it's a physical thing, but especially difficult when it's your soul mate and you have 'lost' them. I am not made of 'caring' material and I hope I never have to do it. I would not last long. I know myself too well.
I really admire those of you, like Rori, who have given this your best shot. Lots of love to you.
Kim - I bet you can hardly recognise yourself!
Knowing your worth and having strong boundaries is a huge contributor to happiness. It also attracts a different kind of person to be in your life.
Love Heather UK xxxxxxx2 -
cityjaneLondon wrote: »Machka - good article. 'Caring' is the hardest job of all. Hard enough when it's a physical thing, but especially difficult when it's your soul mate and you have 'lost' them. I am not made of 'caring' material and I hope I never have to do it. I would not last long. I know myself too well.
I really admire those of you, like Rori, who have given this your best shot. Lots of love to you.
Love Heather UK xxxxxxx
I am so incredibly NOT made of 'caring material. It's one of the reasons I never wanted children. It's one of the reasons my first marriage and one of my other relationships fell apart ... they were looking for a "mom" rather than a partner. It's the main reason why I didn't take after my mother and go into nursing or anything nursing-related. I did try to get into teaching, but was not disappointed when I ended up in a quiet office working with databases. Looking after people is not my thing at all.
And yet ... here I am.
I'm probably the most surprised of anyone who knows me that I'm doing this. I don't know how I'm doing this!
But believe me, sometimes I do feel like fleeing, crying, bursting into a rage, curling up into a ball and hiding ...
M in Oz10 -
🥰0
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@Machka9“All of your emotions, good and bad, about caregiving are not only allowed, but valid and important."
I believe that this is very important for life for everyone, and it is what so many people misunderstand.
It is only by recognising and acknowledging ALL the emotions that we experience that we can move forward. We have every right to rage against the storm. Accepting and dealing with the negative is crucial to finding our way through it. (I find the occasional good weep is a great tension reliever.)
You are the epitome of what I think of as positive thinking. You meet every situation with fortitude and find a way to move forward that works for you.
@margaretturk I think Rumi sums it up beautifully.
☘️ Terri7 -
✔️1. weigh in
✔️2. log all
✔️ 4. five minutes meditation
-5. Take care of at least 3 shorter (1 pagish) writing or administrative task/bill, (union work doesn't count)
-6. At least 15 min cleaning
-7. At least 5 min day filing
✔️ 8. average 1100 calories net
• Overall Feeling : ok
• Log all: so far so good
• Exercise : 45 min elliptical plus 30 min walking
• 1100 calories net average : doing good this week. the major heat wave helps. one doesn't feel like eating so much
•3 Short term writing/admin per week: did 1
•cleaning :
•filing:
Grateful :
1. plenty of exercise this morning
2. summery weather
3. home rather clean and tidy
4. lease
5. a moment of lull without intense pressure1 -
I read that for women (or maybe people) over 50 doing 4x 45 workouts plus walking is a good amount. and to not do more than 4x 45 min workouts. that might be too little for many but that actually works for me. I used to be a major exerciser in my 20s and 30s, but I just feel tired if I do so much these days, like 2-3h work outs. I used to go to these 2h intensive dance classes, and I began to find them too long and just tiring, an hour would have been fine for me.
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@trucker743 Sharon, yes I'm like that, I have mini-moments of joy.
@cityjaneLondon that is sad how kids have to be supervised now. we used to be able to go ride around the neighbourhood, play or walk alone in the nearby little woods. that would probably be a no-no now, especially for young girls.2 -
@Machka9 I agree with you about feeling all sorts of emotions. Some say there is a tyranny of having to be happy especially in the Usa. Like if you say things are not great, people feel a need to say something positive to counter it and get you to look on the bright side. That can be truly good sometimes, but it is also great to have someone to just hear one's pain and be compassionate, without having to suggest a change of mind shift. Deep listening has great value.
Maybe it's similar in many other English-speaking countries. I'm so sorry about you missing your husband as he was.
In Europe there is, in many countries, a tendency to complain. it's kind of the opposite and can also be oppressive.In France if you are positive and optimistic, in certain circumstances, people often treat you like you are stupid and try to counter you or make fun or you, etc. It's much more normal and socially acceptable to complain and be suspicious here, than to expect the best.
I used to be quite optimistic but with time I am more mixed.
Life is not always easy.
I was at the meditation retreat once sharing a room with 4 people. One woman's son had cancer and another person was a body worker who really did effective healing work. she was convinced that cancer was impossible if approached the right way. I think she's mistaken, though her positivity is surely a good thing. (She's Japanese, of Japanese parents, grew up in Hong Kong, lived 4 years her teens and early 20s in Kansas and then the past 20 years in France).
Though she was well-intentioned, I thought it was horrible for her to be insisting to this person who was losing her son that there is necessarily another way, when there Is not necessarily.
1 -
lol forgot to say the 80 hrs if for 2 weeks1
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Trying to catch up with everyone phew, lots of different topics being discussed.
Pip - the pictures of Bullwinkle are lovely, hope he continues to do well. It is hard to let them go, but we do it because we love them I think we seem to know when the time is right and when it is best for them.
Machka I also agree that all emotions are important, if you can look on the bright side, good, but sometimes we need to have a good cry/shout etc at the unfairness of life.
Sharon – mini moments of joy , yes I like that. I find joy in simple things like looking at the clouds, my fur babies (although not really keen on that expression ) and music.
Lisa – You certainly got me thinking! After my hubby died 4 years ago I was like a table with only two legs, the slightest thing and I would collapse in a heap. I remember calling my friend in tears because water was pouring out and I couldn’t turn off a tap (faucet?) She sorted me out and arranged for a plumber to call later that evening to put a new washer on the tap. It was just beyond me at that time to think straight. I slowly “grew” another leg, it started to get stronger, but now it’s weak again. But, I know it will get strong again, it will take a bit of time, but I’ll get there. (As long as nothing drastic happens!)
I used to be a 'cup half full' person, always happy and laughing, especially as a child, but "life" happened and knocked me back a bit. I sometimes see flashes of the person I used to be, and would like her back! I tell myself that there are people out there worse off than me, (I'm a work in progress )
Can't believe the time, better get a move on, still have a few forms to fill in for my mum to get the utilities changed into her name and I'm back at the dentist this afternoon.
Viv UK 8 -
morning ladies
I slept pretty well but was up early.. Had my tea and watched Joyce.
instead of leaving early have to go in for 11 am... I guess thats alright...
I can't wait to get away i need this sooooo bad..
Kim~ so very happy for you.. girl you got this!!!!
Pip~ loving all the pics of Bullwinkle she is a cutie..
Viv~ Bless you I know how you feel...4
This discussion has been closed.
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