WOMEN AGES 50+ FOR SEPTEMBER 2019
Replies
-
@Rho97070 wow that's amazing about your son's recovery. What a heartening story.
It really is. He was an amazing kid and is even more amazing as a man. Everyone loves him (that's not just me/mom speaking). He never complains about anything (unlike me) and emanates love and humbleness. He still visits local hospitals visiting patients that have undergone tragedy, relating his story and giving them hope, volunteers as a Special Olympics ski instructor and with disadvantaged youth. I'm a nobody. My tombstone will probably read "Mike's mom". lol
4 -
janetr7476 wrote: »Just going to add my bit on wills. Jack and I DO NOT have one at all and I can't seem to convince him of the necessity of it. We have no, well very little, savings and no way could I live in this house on my income alone. Jack has three children and I have two. My girls have never mentioned or inquired about inheritance, but his three all have asked what they will get. Unfortunately their mother has convinced them he has money. I'm not sure how she thinks this, upon their divorcing she got half of everything, his 401k, his military retirement p!us $1700 per month alimony for 15 years. I'm concerned they will try to overrun me and carry all of his shop tools and equipment and vehicles. It concerns me. I have no care what happens to any of it when I'm gone. When I moved in
With Jack I gave all my sentimental items to my daughters and let them take with them any items wanted.
Janetr OKC
Is his vehicle in your name too? Our lawyer suggest we do this. Our other option is to when one us dies in our state there is a form for the spouse to apply to have vehicle put in their name. Without another name on the title it can be difficult for anyone other than a spouse to sell the vehicle. Is your home in both your names if not I would make that a priority. There will be a charge to change the name on the title and it unfortunately involves a lawyer. Still for your protection it is worth it. Unless he gifts his equipment to his children in a will you as spouse have first rights to those things. Are you the beneficiary on that 401K and any other assets? That is another thing I would make sure of for your own protection. Did you marry Jack? If you did you have more rights. He can still make you the beneficiary on his bank account and 401K without that if you are not married that money will go to his children. There are advantages to Social Security if you are married for at least 10 years.
This advise goes for any of you who are married or not. Now is the time to make sure finances are in order for your protection you do not want any surprises in the age group we are in . It can be the difference between a retirement that has the resources to sustain you into your later years or one of very difficult times. Not one can this for you. You are the one who has to make sure things are done legally and secure your own future. It is part of living a healthy life.
If you are living with someone who makes this a difficult process for you all the more reason to get the help you need to get these things done.
Those of you who own property unless that property is in a trust or there is a living beneficiary on that property it goes to probate which can take years to straighten out. I have a friend who is an executor who is going through this nightmare now. If you own property in more that one state it will go into probate in all states you own property unless you make arrangements when you are living. You are doing this not for yourself but for those who have to clean up the mess. In the case of my friend there will be little left of the estate after the lawyers are finished taking it through probate. The question to ask is who do I want to benefit from my estate my loved ones or the lawyers?
If you have little estate make this clear to your loved ones so they do not waste their time and money settling your estate. Tell them just to walk away.
Margaret 3 -
I spent some time poking around my computer and turned on fire vault.
I tried opening the terminal (I don't really get code much) and it didn't work. any command gave me a "not welcome' and my name message.0 -
Thanks for telling us your son's story Rhonda.
I have a friend whose daughter had encephalitis at around 20. She had to relearn everything. She is now a doctor.
I'm at my son's house. DH is reading to the kids. We stopped off at our favourite Persian restaurant for kebab on the way here. Then we had a small beer at the microbrewery. I earnt myself 400 bonus calories today so have 1,000 exercise calories to play with. I had an hour's nap this afternoon, so I'm hoping the walking this evening will tire me out enough to sleep tonight!
DH and I have made 'Mirror Wills'. The jist of it is that whoever dies first has £100,000 of their estate distributed equally between the four children. (We have two each) The rest is the spouse's. Then when the other dies the estate is divided in a percentage that reflects the assets we had at the time we made the will. I have a lot less than I had then as I have been eating into my savings. DH has by far the most cash assets, though we own our house jointly. If he dies first I will distribute the hundred thousand and then try to spend the rest! I will probably sell our house, buy a smaller apartment and live it up on cruises.
I have no idea what will happen to all the treasured family photos, my carefully curated manuscripts etc. I'm sure little of it will be of interest. I hope one of the grandchildren might be interested. I am keen to get most of the writings out in print and Kindle so it's not all lost. The photos go back to the 1890s, so I hope someone cares. Love your photo, Carol.
Much love to all, Heather UK xxxxxxxx3 -
Beth near Buffalo I agree with you on the topic of inheritances and expectations. But for the sake of knowledge, I want to suggest that you dig a little deeper about parents not wanting to go into assisted living so as to enable them to leave something to their offspring. I'm not an attorney and may not have this entirely correct, but I think (in most states) that if a person goes into assisted living and the cost is paid wholly or partially by Medicare, that it's possible for the Feds (or State) to tap into the decedent's estate and reimburse costs. I think setting things up in a trust at least (not sure - is it five years?) prior to going into assisted living and dying can avoid that from happening. Note also: some states have filial laws . . . https://money.cnn.com/2014/06/19/pf/inherited-debt-adult-children/
2 -
Wills - Hubs and I are covered there. We are considering updating our will, but we do have one in place. We have no children and my sibling died two years ago. We have a trusted friend that is a POD on our bank accounts. We need to change the contingent bene on our life insurance to her as well (it is currently the estate, but that would put it into a tax situation we don't want the executor to have to deal with). The same friend will distribute our jewelry/watches as we wish (or not, that would be her karma to deal with). Charity will get the majority of anything we leave behind after the party in Hawaii to scatter our ashes that we will fund for about 20 friends.
My Dad passed away and his estate was so easy to deal with. He left everything split between my brother and I. My brother didn't want the responsibility of being co-executor so he signed that over to me. The only small issue was my brother thought he could take Dad's truck, and he could, if he wanted to. I told him that he was welcome to have it and I would take the equivalent amount of cash. There was enough cash to cover the value of the truck, then my brother wouldn't get any more money. He thought he could have the truck and 1/2 the money in Dad's account. I told him it wouldn't work that way and he decided to not take the truck so I sold it and we split the money.
My Uncle passed away (Dad's brother) without a will after my Dad died (not married and no children). He didn't have a lot, but it was a lot of work for the remaining Uncle to get it all settled. It took forever. My Aunt thought that she and my Uncle would just split what little he had and it would be done. The attorney told them that it didn't work that way, since there were 4 siblings, my Dad's share (according to OK law) went to his heirs, so Aunt got 1/3, Uncle got 1/3, Brother got 1/6 and I got 1/6.
The last Uncle (wife predeceased and no children) did a will after Dad died. I told him I didn't care if he left everything to his Pup, just please make it legal so it wouldn't be difficult after he passed. He did do a will and left everything split between his sister and me. It was very easy (legally) to deal with. The last Uncle was single until his 40's but he was named as our legal guardian if my parents died before my bother and I were grown. My Mom had siblings that were married, but they didn't live in the town we grew up in. They decided a single Uncle that lived in the town we grew up in so that we could keep our friends and our home we were used to would be better for us. As an adult, I have to say I agree with the decision they made for us. My Uncle was very involved in our lives and even after my Dad passed away my hub and I spent Christmas with him each year. He was our home base and my friends all flowed in and out of his house just like they did at my Dad's. My Uncle loved it.
Sorry to be so long winded!
Okie in the TX Hill Country
5 -
stat for the day:
TREADmill - 29.27min, 6.0-8.0spd, 138ahr, 153mhr, 5k= 328c
apple watch 353c1 -
Wills - My dad did not have a will when he died. He had no money or real estate, but he had a corner cabinet that had been his parents. My stepmother promised me she would give it to me. She died a few years later and her sister took it. I’m not a saint either, and it really bothers me that a non-family member has my grandmother’s things. However, as my faith believes I am not judge and jury. That’s up to a higher power.
I went to great lengths to ensure my daughter would be cared for in the event of my untimely demise. I did not want my dysfunctional sister raising my child. Since I have never married, I made arrangements for her godfathers to complete a second parent adoption. We now have a very large extended family. I consider their family to be my in-laws. It works for us.
Bras-I was a DDD or F cup forever. This weight loss combined with menopause and I am now a D, almost a DD. I’m an underwire gal because I really feel that is the only thing that can keep them in place. That said, I can’t stand the wire when I exercise. I’ve struggled to find something that “holds them up” instead of binding. I sweat underneath and get a rash if the bra just squishes them. I had a great bra shopping story in a July post!
Big victory today - the scale said 198.2 this morning! The first time in almost 30 years that I have been under 200 lbs!!
Connie in KY9 -
👍1
-
Way to go, Connie! Well done on making it to onederland.
2 -
Woo-hoo! Connie! Woo-hoo!1
-
my computer started going nuts, even was writing in another language I could only turn if off by pushing off button for 10 seconds. I'm doing all I can to protect. I turned on "fire vault" it's weird the very wired stuff is on and off so if I took it for repair it wouldn't necessarily be helpful.0
-
cityjaneLondon wrote: »Karen - Loving the outfit! Whereabouts are they? It looks somewhere south?
Love Heather UK xxxxxxx
LOL!!! Yes, you might say that...the photo was taken at the in-law's home in Bonifacio, Corsica. They have been back & forth between there & Roanne (near Lyon) since the grandchildren arrived in France. They have gorgeous property/homes in both areas, and also somewhere in Switzerland, I think, for skiing. So beautiful.
3 -
Yeah Connie! Doing the Onederland dance with you!3
-
Connie Congratulations 3
-
Yeah Connie!
Julie - I love saltines!!
Okie1 -
Hey everyone, I am Sharon, AKA LglSec because I was a legal secretary for 34 years. I retired the end of March of this year. My husband and I had lost over Fifty pounds each on WW, but they changed the program and I am not a person that you can give a lot of wiggle room to. They had a lot of foods with zero points. ..but they are not zero calories and we gained about 30 pounds back Since I retired, I just cannot seem to get myself back in gear until I read about MFP in a magazine. I had joined this a long time ago, not sure why because I did not do much with it, but I am really enjoying putting in my foods and seeing what my calories, fats, etc. are ...I had a non scale victory today when I made cookies for Church, which I do every week. EAch cookie is 3 points, which did not seem to bother me when I was counting points ...but they are 140 calories each and that really bothers me ...I could have a whole lot more to eat with less calories than a cookie and it would satisfy me more ..so I did not have that cookie. I am also one of those person who cannot stop with just one ...so that was a win win.. I forgot to tell you. I am 67 years old and I do go to the gym 3 times a week and do circuit training and some weight training. I am not trying to get lots of muscles, I just want to get stronger!!!4
-
Connie Congrats!
Lisa The flowers were a lovely gesture, & they are really beautiful.
Sharon LglSec Welcome!
______
Love to all,
Karen in Virginia1 -
Sharon ~ Welcome! Many who are most successful here do it the Calories In vs Calories Out way. I do count calories a lot but drinking wine every night keeps me from really losing. So, I mostly am trying not to gain any more. Have stayed within the same 5 pounds for years. I am very short 5' 1" so it all accumulated around my middle.
Connie - Congrats on getting to Onederland.
Wills Again: We only have one child so he will inherit anything we leave behind (or his wife and children should he pass). And, yes, we do try to make sure he will have an inheritance. I know that some have said that was not an important thing but that's the way my DH and I were brought up.
Carol in GA3 -
Lisa in AR: “Pausing for a moment to say that I adore my husband. And that husbands, and mine is no exception, are just attention hogs, bless their hearts, with a crappy sense of timing, both in the overall and the specific. That is apropos of nothing anyone else said, by the way, just an observation on mine. ” This seems like the truth to me.
Connie in KY: Welcome to onderland! WTG!!!!! 
I went to the stable today and worked with Arrow. He was a good boy for me today.
Katla in Beautiful NW Oregon
5 -
My Dad added JR y Daughter to his will but it reads if him y me die they get it. Hubby not named on it. Mom was different going 1st Dad y me went through it all decided trash 🗑,Donate,Sell ,Keep At Dads or me,y Daughter. I have no siblings y My parents were both biological y Daughter was a minor so made it simple.Dad kept mom’s family at bay me too. When Dad goes it will be harder his family already took the house he’s still alive.So I’ll probably just get anything inside that’s left y his insurance policy if it doesn’t lapse. After the medical bills etc take all probably.So not expecting anything if I get something probably be small amount.He wants that to go to JR since he has 40yrs to live after we all die (20yrs after Daughter). He worries if we die that JR being so young may still be learning to swim 🏊♂️.
Amber Tx
Tried the healthy smart TV dinner boy salt was high! 650mg!!! So no more of those.0 -
Connie super job, girlfriend.
Margaret thank you. We will have our 10th wedding anniversary in a few weeks. I was aware of most of that. Everything is in both names. We really have nothing of big monetary value, his tools and woodworking equipment would be worth the most. I would need to sell them for the cash value. I would have to sell our house which would bring a tidy profit and live in something much smaller, perhaps our motor home.
Janetr OKC3 -
0 -
Medicare does not pay for if either spouse needs Nursing Home care. If you have a fall and need to stay in a rehab place they will cover 30 days. I know this from when my mom broke her hip. If you have a Long Term Health Care Insurance it will cover some of the cost of Nursing Home care. We went to a financial planner about 5 years ago and it would have been $5000 a year. You have to be in good health when you apply. I figured it would be so expensive to carry it and by the time I needed it there would be no money for my care so I passed on it.
Assisted living place have those who need Nursing Home care but cannot afford it. Assisted Living places are much cheaper. I remember trying to convince my mom to go into Assisted Living places. Knowing what I know now I am glad she didn't. She was best off in her home until she needed 24 hour care.
The five year look back refers to you gave give your children a certain amount of money a year as a gift. The amount has changed over the years. If you die within five years of the gift then they can be taxed on it. It used to be three years. I am not sure how they can enforce this but that is what the look back means.
We live in a society where either you have to have enough money or insurance to cover Nursing Home care or no money so the government picks up the tab.
SAD State of affairs.2 -
7 -
bananasandoranges wrote: »@machka9 it's for each of us to decide what is high low or medium expectations I guess. What do you think for your two subjects. I guess "realistic" would be "medium". but so much comes into play. it's personal.
I would say graduating w masters is not low expectations and whether it is medium or high kind of depends probably on your habits, temperament, situation, classes, past experience and so on.
The 50k is really impossible for me to weigh in on. But I would say not low.
What would your examples of a high expectation or a low expectation be then.?0 -
janetr7476 wrote: »Just going to add my bit on wills. Jack and I DO NOT have one at all and I can't seem to convince him of the necessity of it. We have no, well very little, savings and no way could I live in this house on my income alone. Jack has three children and I have two. My girls have never mentioned or inquired about inheritance, but his three all have asked what they will get. Unfortunately their mother has convinced them he has money. I'm not sure how she thinks this, upon their divorcing she got half of everything, his 401k, his military retirement p!us $1700 per month alimony for 15 years. I'm concerned they will try to overrun me and carry all of his shop tools and equipment and vehicles. It concerns me. I have no care what happens to any of it when I'm gone. When I moved in
With Jack I gave all my sentimental items to my daughters and let them take with them any items wanted.
Janetr OKC
You might want to check the law regarding dying without a will. It's possible his first wife could get everything that is in his name. Or everything that is over a certain dollar amount.
I had a small "heart attack" when I discovered that's the case here.
1 -
Machka Somehow I missed that you are sick! I was rereading a couple of other posts I apparently missed when I saw your post about not feeling at all well. I hope you are better by the time you read this. (((Hugs)))
Karen in Virginia1 -
Karen in VA - any more news on our little ballerina? Note that she's ours now.
Lanette
SW WA State1 -
Ppppp0
Categories
- All Categories
- 1.4M Health, Wellness and Goals
- 393.3K Introduce Yourself
- 43.8K Getting Started
- 260.2K Health and Weight Loss
- 175.9K Food and Nutrition
- 47.4K Recipes
- 232.5K Fitness and Exercise
- 424 Sleep, Mindfulness and Overall Wellness
- 6.5K Goal: Maintaining Weight
- 8.5K Goal: Gaining Weight and Body Building
- 153K Motivation and Support
- 8K Challenges
- 1.3K Debate Club
- 96.3K Chit-Chat
- 2.5K Fun and Games
- 3.7K MyFitnessPal Information
- 24 News and Announcements
- 1.1K Feature Suggestions and Ideas
- 2.6K MyFitnessPal Tech Support Questions