WLS support and inspirational information
Replies
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Weight Loss Surgery Support:
Daily Inspiration for August 14, 2010
Katie Jay, MSW
Be congruent.
Is there a difference between what you say you want and what you do? For example, do you say you want to maintain your weight, but then spend your afternoon snacking?
Being congruent involves aligning your desires with your actions. It's hard, and it is not a skill you can master over night. Congruency is a worthy goal, however, and will greatly improve with practice.
Action for the day: For today, practice being congruent. If you say you are tired and need to rest, don't go out dancing.
© 2007, National Association for Weight Loss Surgery. All rights reserved. Daily Inspirations are provided by the National Association for Weight Loss Surgery. Get our free report, How to Regain-Proof Your Weight Loss Surgery at .www.nawls.com0 -
This is brilliant! xWeight Loss Surgery Support:
Daily Inspiration for August 14, 2010
Katie Jay, MSW
Be congruent.
Is there a difference between what you say you want and what you do? For example, do you say you want to maintain your weight, but then spend your afternoon snacking?
Being congruent involves aligning your desires with your actions. It's hard, and it is not a skill you can master over night. Congruency is a worthy goal, however, and will greatly improve with practice.
Action for the day: For today, practice being congruent. If you say you are tired and need to rest, don't go out dancing.
© 2007, National Association for Weight Loss Surgery. All rights reserved. Daily Inspirations are provided by the National Association for Weight Loss Surgery. Get our free report, How to Regain-Proof Your Weight Loss Surgery at .www.nawls.com0 -
I'm new to the site and had a gastric band in January 2006 - started out at 300 lbs and got down to 174 lbs then ended up putting 79 lbs back on. :sad:
Band is now empty so I'm going it alone on a diet for a while then trying a small fill see how I cope.
Would love to keep in touch with others to encourage each other along the way.:drinker:
Sharon x x0 -
I'm new to the site and had a gastric band in January 2006 - started out at 300 lbs and got down to 174 lbs then ended up putting 79 lbs back on. :sad:
Band is now empty so I'm going it alone on a diet for a while then trying a small fill see how I cope.
Would love to keep in touch with others to encourage each other along the way.:drinker:
Sharon x x
Welcome Sharon!! You are not a failure. You can get back on track. Feel free to add me to your list of friends. You will love MFP!0 -
That congruent thing has occasionally caused me to change my goals. If I had one that I just never worked on, I would realize it really wasn't that important to me, I just thought I ought to have it for some reason.0
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Weight Loss Surgery Support:
Daily Inspiration for August 16, 2010
Katie Jay, MSW
Develop calluses on your feelings.
Guitar players gradually develop hard calluses on their fingertips from pressing down on the narrow strings. Initially, playing can be painful and cause blisters or bleeding. But eventually, the calluses harden and enable the guitarist to play without discomfort.
As someone who has struggled with obesity, you may have suffered more than your fair share of insensitivities and insults. You can learn to keep insults at bay and from hurting your inner self. Remind yourself that negative or hurtful comments do not define you, but your ability to rise above them does.
Action for the day: Think of a recent time when someone made an offensive or insulting comment to you. In your journal, write about how the comment says more about the person who delivered it than about you.
© 2007, National Association for Weight Loss Surgery. All rights reserved. Daily Inspirations are provided by the National Association for Weight Loss Surgery. Get our free report, How to Regain-Proof Your Weight Loss Surgery at .www.nawls.com0 -
Ms Molly, thnx for all the motivational advice you post here. I just found this site yestrday and started browsing the post for weight loss and found you. As you can see, Im a new BAndster and looking for any and all new info that's out there.0
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Ms Molly, thnx for all the motivational advice you post here. I just found this site yestrday and started browsing the post for weight loss and found you. As you can see, Im a new BAndster and looking for any and all new info that's out there.
Welcome!! You will love MFP site and I post here most days when I have time. If I don't that means I am swamped at work! Good luck to you on reaching your goals.0 -
Weight Loss Surgery Support:
Daily Inspiration for August 17, 2010
Katie Jay, MSW
Break some eggs.
To make an omelet, you have to break some eggs, as the old saying goes. Think about the first human to have ever made an omelet. He probably made a lot of mistakes initially--throwing the whole egg onto the hot griddle, not mixing the eggs first, not flipping them over.
The only way we ever learn something new is when we give ourselves the freedom to screw up. There are probably a number of new things you've always longed to try, but you felt your weight got in the way. So do them now. Sign up for fiddle lessons. Give square dancing a try. Learn to crochet. Sure, your family will ask you to practice fiddle in a sound-proof room for a while, and you'll be stepping on toes and colliding with bodies during those first few barn dances. But WLS has given you a new lease on life, and now is the time to expand your horizons. It's never too late to learn.
Action for the day: Pick one activity you have always wanted to try. Pull out the yellow pages and find a local community center or school that offers lessons and call them.
© 2007, National Association for Weight Loss Surgery. All rights reserved. Daily Inspirations are provided by the National Association for Weight Loss Surgery. Get our free report, How to Regain-Proof Your Weight Loss Surgery at .www.nawls.com0 -
Don't Quit
When you've eaten too much and you can't write it down,
And you feel like the biggest failure in town.
When you want to give up just because you gave in,
and forget all about being healthy and thin.
So What!
You went over your calories or points a bit,
It's your next move that counts...So don't you quit!
It's a moment of truth, it's an attitude change.
It's learning the skills to get back in your range.
It's telling yourself, "You've done great up till now.
You can take on this challenge and beat it somehow."
It's part of your journey toward reaching your goal.
You're still gonna make it, just stay in control.
To stumble and fall is not a disgrace,
If you summon the will to get back in the race.
But, often the struggler's, when loosing their grip,
Just throw in the towel and continue to slip.
And learn too late when the damage is done,
that the race wasn't over...they still could have won.
Lifestyle change can be awkward and slow,
but facing each challenge will help you grow.
Success is failure turned inside out,
the silver tint in a cloud of doubt.
When you're pushing to the brink,
just refuse to submit,
If you bite it, you write it....But don't you quit!
- Author Unknown0 -
Weight Loss Surgery Support:
Daily Inspiration for August 19, 2010
Katie Jay, MSW
Enjoy your food.
Sometimes it feels like food is the enemy. But you can't give up eating altogether. You still can be passionate about food and flavors. Your passion for food just needs to be redirected a little to make dishes that are small, healthy, and, just as importantly, tasty. Don't settle for unsatisfying or bland.
Have you noticed the first bite always tastes the best? You are not missing out on the best part of the meal by eating less. Rather than having seconds, develop the habit of having a particularly good meal again soon, or even for breakfast and lunch the next day. Learning to adjust your passion for food to your new lifestyle is crucial for maintaining long-term weight loss.
Action for the day: Make a favorite meal today. Be sure to especially savor the first couple of bites. Stop eating at your first sign of fullness, knowing you can have another serving at your next mealtime.
© 2007, National Association for Weight Loss Surgery. All rights reserved. Daily Inspirations are provided by the National Association for Weight Loss Surgery. Get our free report, How to Regain-Proof Your Weight Loss Surgery at .www.nawls.com0 -
Weight Loss Surgery Support:
Daily Inspiration for August 18, 2010
Katie Jay, MSW
Yield.
There's a saying that ought to be taught to all driver's education students--the right of way cannot be taken, it can only be given. It really doesn't matter if you had the right of way to that intersection. If the other driver has no intention of yielding, the only thing you'll accomplish by pulling ahead is a dented fender at best and a totaled car and injuries at worst.
That's good advice in other areas of life as well. Some people are not well-meaning, and will do everything in their power to draw you into a fight. They may have disagreed with your choice to get WLS. They may want to undermine your efforts to maintain a healthy WLS lifestyle. Whatever their motives, learn to recognize them. And once you do, learn to walk away from any ensuing arguments. They don't want to negotiate; they just want to fight. Taking them up on that will only lead to bruised feelings.
Action for the day: Think about the people you encounter on a regular basis who are always trying to draw you into arguments. Begin to develop strategies for avoiding these conflicts, whether by changing the subject or even walking away.
© 2007, National Association for Weight Loss Surgery. All rights reserved. Daily Inspirations are provided by the National Association for Weight Loss Surgery. Get our free report, How to Regain-Proof Your Weight Loss Surgery at www.nawls.com0 -
Speaking of arguments, I just posted on another thread where everyone was congratulating someone for not getting a lap band, and I just felt compelled to point out reality.... :laugh:
Our society wants fat people to suffer to lose weight and, if they don't succeed, so much the better. WLS pisses them off because it increases our odds of success, IMO.
There are definitely people out there who want us to fail for any number of reasons. Luckily most of those people haven't got the nerve to say anything to me to my face and I have a pretty good support network.0 -
Speaking of arguments, I just posted on another thread where everyone was congratulating someone for not getting a lap band, and I just felt compelled to point out reality.... :laugh:
Our society wants fat people to suffer to lose weight and, if they don't succeed, so much the better. WLS pisses them off because it increases our odds of success, IMO.
There are definitely people out there who want us to fail for any number of reasons. Luckily most of those people haven't got the nerve to say anything to me to my face and I have a pretty good support network.
It is so sad!! I weighed over 600 pounds and do you know my immediate family (Dad, Mom and SIster) were not behind me 100%. My Dad was so upset and he offered to send me to a fat farm, on and on and one. I was at a much higher risk than most so my surgeon called a family meeting with my parents and sister in case something happend to me. I was also his largest patient ever so I think he was scared also. I did not have any co morbities so he said yes. He was my 2nd surgeon. 1st backed out at the last minute and it was another year before I finally go over that trama and found someone willing to give me the RNY.
People are igonarant when it comes to the benefits these WLS can have for most peoples. It is still work but I would have never lost 300 pounds in less than 2 years on my own.
I had a friend who I have known since high school who really thought I was going to die on the table who was against it too. But I have always felt she wants WLS herself but chicken. Our relationship has changed since my WLS. She is not happy for me like I would think she would be since she knows the many emotional pains I have endured over the years for being morbibly obese. She became obese after marriage. I have been obese forever. Yes people want you to stay miserable and fat. It makes some comfortable. This same friend had the nerves to tell my sister that I was getting too skinny at 310 pounds!! My sister set her straight real quick.
3 years after my RNY, my Dad finally said he was glad I did not listen to him. For my Dad this was HUGE!!! He never admits to being wrong. and in the same conversation he told me how proud he was of me, another thing that is rare from my Dad!! I could not help it I started crying because it was truly a special moment. My Mom and sister were better about it and secretly I think my Mom just did not want to openly oppose my Dad.
I see there is a lot of negativity on MFP regarding WLS. It is really sad to me too. I ignore it, but I am glad you are willing to set one straight about it. You know there are a lot of doctors who are anti WLS also?0 -
3 years after my RNY, my Dad finally said he was glad I did not listen to him. For my Dad this was HUGE!!! He never admits to being wrong. and in the same conversation he told me how proud he was of me, another thing that is rare from my Dad!! I could not help it I started crying because it was truly a special moment. My Mom and sister were better about it and secretly I think my Mom just did not want to openly oppose my Dad.I see there is a lot of negativity on MFP regarding WLS. It is really sad to me too. I ignore it, but I am glad you are willing to set one straight about it. You know there are a lot of doctors who are anti WLS also?
The rest know only too well but they aren't ready yet. Maybe they are afraid, maybe they've been fed a lot of lies and have a lot of misconceptions about WLS. But some people find any decision that is different from theirs to be threatening. So, if they've chosen not to have WLS but they are a candidate, they have to shoot down the ones that have to make themselves feel better.
Luckily not everyone at MFP is like that. I don't have any problems on my other Motivation and Support thread. But when I venture out from my safe threads, there are a few vocal ones who have to tell me I'm insane and that 100% of people who get WLS gain their weight back and a lot of crap like that. Those few kind of spoil the site for me sometimes. Especially because I know I'd get even more flack if I posted more about this. So many times, I start to post and then I decide it's just not worth the flack I know I'm going to get. :laugh:0 -
Bump! When I get to work tommorow can't wait to join you all!! My name is Katherine!0
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Oh, I just noticed I didn't mark the Half-ironman as completed!
Hello MacMadame: What happens on November 21, 2010???? Just cusrious. This is the date on your avatar.0 -
Oh, I just noticed I didn't mark the Half-ironman as completed!
Hello MacMadame: What happens on November 21, 2010???? Just cusrious. This is the date on your avatar.0 -
I see there is a lot of negativity on MFP regarding WLS. It is really sad to me too. I ignore it, but I am glad you are willing to set one straight about it. You know there are a lot of doctors who are anti WLS also?
Yes it is a big differene when you have over 100 pounds to lose and when you have been obese your whole life. Again that is why I ignore it. Yes many just chose to be negative and the others are afraid as you stated.0 -
Bump! When I get to work tommorow can't wait to join you all!! My name is Katherine!
Hi Katerine! Welcome!0 -
Weight Loss Surgery Support:
Daily Inspiration for August 20, 2010
Katie Jay, MSW
Don't get too hungry.
Getting too hungry can be a form of self-sabotage. When you allow yourself to get really hungry, it is much harder to make good food choices. It is harder to care about what you are putting in your mouth. It is much easier to choose something that is instantly gratifying and unhealthy.
So, eat enough and eat frequently enough that you don't get too hungry. Remember that eating less is not necessarily equated with losing weight. Eating enough is a better approach. Then, your metabolism will stay revved up and you won't get too hungry.
Space your meals a bit closer together, and add protein-based snacks in your day if you know it will be a long time before your next meal.
Action for the day: Make a food plan today that will keep you from getting too hungry. See how you do. Tomorrow, make a food plan based on what you learned today.
© 2007, National Association for Weight Loss Surgery. All rights reserved. Daily Inspirations are provided by the National Association for Weight Loss Surgery. Get our free report, How to Regain-Proof Your Weight Loss Surgery at .www.nawls.com0 -
Weight Loss Surgery Support:
Daily Inspiration for August 21, 2010
Katie Jay, MSW
Be realistic.
While many WLS patients wish they could be at some magical weight they consider ideal, the weight you choose needs to be realistic. Not necessarily what you weighed in college or when you got married. Not necessarily less than your sister.
Are you shooting for a weight that you can live with, even if it doesn't match the "magic number" you long to see on the scale? Are you capable of performing your desired activities? Are you healthy? Can you maintain the necessary lifestyle in order to maintain your ideal weight?
Action for the day: Think about your definition of an ideal weight. Are you aiming for a realistic number you can maintain? If not, explore why not. You could be sabotaging your success.
© 2007, National Association for Weight Loss Surgery. All rights reserved. Daily Inspirations are provided by the National Association for Weight Loss Surgery. Get our free report, How to Regain-Proof Your Weight Loss Surgery at .www.nawls.com0 -
I love talking about goal weights and ideal weights!
It's not just being realistic. For a lot of people "being realistic" is code for "settling" and there really is no reason to "settle" for less than you are capable of to avoid failure. Unfortunately, I find a lot of bariatric programs have this attitude. They actively discourage their patients from choosing goal weights that give them a healthy BMI. They say things like: the average weight loss for RnY is 66% so you should expect to lose 66% of your excess weight. I say to that!
OTOH, a lot of people get to within 10-20 lb. of their "ideal" weight and can't get any lower and they feel like a failure and that they are "so fat". But they aren't taking several factors into account:
1) For every pound you lose, you end up with approximately .1 lb of loose skin. So, if you lost 200 pounds, you probably have 20 pounds of loose skin -- give or take.
2) Once you get near a healthy weight, body composition is much more important than a number of the scale. Two examples: when I was 13, my BMI was 19. Now it's 22. However, I'm SMALLER today than I was back then. That's because I have more muscles and less body fat. The muscles weigh enough to make my BMI larger but the same weight of muscle takes up less space so my body volume is smaller. Also, I am 3 pounds heavier than I was at my lowest. But my clothes still fit the same. Well, except my bras, I went up a cup size after I stopped losing. Not something most people are going to complain about.
So, I could be sad that I don't weigh 113 any more but it would be dumb because I wanted those muscles and I'm not really bigger just because the scale says a higher number.
3) Sometimes it's better to be at a happy weight than an 'ideal' weight. If it means working out 2x as much as you want to and having treats half as often to get down to your HS weight but you can be 5 pound above that and have the life you want, why not take the 5 pounds? I see this as different than "being realistic" the way the Negative Nellies mean it. They mean "don't dream big or try for the ideal" while I mean "temper the ideal against what makes you happy".0 -
1) For every pound you lose, you end up with approximately .1 lb of loose skin. So, if you lost 200 pounds, you probably have 20 pounds of loose skin -- give or take.
Thanks for info! I did not know this. Good to know. and thanks for your take on ideal weight, goal weight and happy weight!. :flowerforyou:0 -
Weight Loss Surgery Support:
Daily Inspiration for August 23, 2010
Katie Jay, MSW
Avoid the L.G.M.
Everyone has met "perfect" people before. There are some people who--at least outwardly--appear able to accomplish great things at work, maintain impeccable health and raise a ridiculously happy family. And some of them aren't faking or hiding horrible secrets--they really are blessed in many ways. No matter how tempting it is, do not allow yourself to wallow in jealousy. It can lead to nothing positive.
If the "picture perfect" person is a friend of yours, it's even more important to avoid the L.G.M. (Little Green Monster). Jealousy has a tendency to push people away. And pushing away a successful friend can deprive you of much-needed support--not to mention a cheering section for when you accomplish a goal. Successful people didn't get that way on their own. They had the support and goodwill of friends along the way.
Action for the day: Instead of comparing yourself to someone else today, look at how far you have come on your WLS journey and encourage yourself.
© 2007, National Association for Weight Loss Surgery. All rights reserved. Daily Inspirations are provided by the National Association for Weight Loss Surgery. Get our free report, How to Regain-Proof Your Weight Loss Surgery at .www.nawls.com0 -
If the "picture perfect" person is a friend of yours, it's even more important to avoid the L.G.M. (Little Green Monster). Jealousy has a tendency to push people away. And pushing away a successful friend can deprive you of much-needed support--not to mention a cheering section for when you accomplish a goal. Successful people didn't get that way on their own. They had the support and goodwill of friends along the way.0
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If the "picture perfect" person is a friend of yours, it's even more important to avoid the L.G.M. (Little Green Monster). Jealousy has a tendency to push people away. And pushing away a successful friend can deprive you of much-needed support--not to mention a cheering section for when you accomplish a goal. Successful people didn't get that way on their own. They had the support and goodwill of friends along the way.
That is why I try to surround myself with more positive people. Positive people tend to be more successful and happy. That is why I try to work on being as positive as I can most days. I see the results of negativity.0 -
Why You Gain Weight
by Katie Jay, MSW, Certified Wellness Coach
Director, National Association for Weight Loss Surgery
www.nawls.com
When you see the scale go up a few pounds it's easy to panic.
A few pounds emotionally feels like a ton. You wonder if you
will ever be able to get off that extra weight, as if you were
David facing the Giant. You feel guilty for how you've eaten or
for skipping exercise.
Then, almost without a thought, you surrender. You tell yourself
you messed up, so you might as well give up. Let the Giant win.
That's why you gain weight
You see, it's not the few pounds that is the problem. They can
be lost. It's the giving up -- the "all or nothing" thinking
-- that is the real problem.
Try being honest with yourself
It's time to get out your sling shot and poke holes in this
lie you are telling yourself -- the lie about not being able
to take off a few pounds.
Your problem isn't the few pounds you've gained; it's not your
body. Your problem is in your mind. You start playing an old
tape in your head and believe it, even when it's not true.
You tell yourself you can't say no to chocolate. You are too
tired to exercise. You don't have time to cook. All lies.
Really.
Eliminate "I can't" from your vocabulary
As surely as David knocked down that big menace, you CAN
knock off a few pounds -- if you will stop telling yourself
you can't do it.
Act on the facts, not on your feelings
You CAN take action to drop the pounds no matter what you're
feeling. This new way of being will take some practice, but
you will get better at it over time.
Here's how to act on facts, not feelings, to defeat the Giant:
1) Take aim. Figure out what your target weight is and make a
little chart to track your progress -- and then use it! (If
you're like me, you'll be tempted to skip this step, but that's
the old tape. This time, don't skip what seems silly or useless
-- that's a lie.)
2) Use your tool. David had a great sling shot to use and a nice
sized stone, I bet. You have your tool, too -- your weight loss
surgery.
Follow all of your surgeon's guidelines (yes, dig out the papers
you were given at orientation or call and ask for a new set to
be mailed to you -- and then read them every day for a week).
And at meal time, try chewing forever, and not drinking with
meals, and eating dense proteins to fill you up.
3) Feel your feelings and do it anyway. David must have been
terrified, but he didn't let that stop him. He bravely walked
out into the open and faced the Giant.
You can face your powerful foe, too -- your negativity. Feel
your feelings: anger, fear, sadness, deprivation, defiance,
shame, disappointment, whatever they are ... and then do the
next right thing anyway. Don't let your feelings dictate your
actions today.
Be like David
Like the people David was defending, your life is depending on
you. Your hopes and dreams need you to protect them. Your
health and productivity need you to stand up for them.
When David stepped out, he had no guarantee he would win. He
took a leap of faith and acted. He felt the fear and did it
anyway.
It's your turn.
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Weight Loss Surgery Support:
Daily Inspiration for August 24, 2010
Katie Jay, MSW
Treat your emotions as clues.
The best solution for emotional eating is for you to become an ace detective. Treat your emotions as intriguing mysteries to be solved, not pains to be numbed. Your long-term weight loss depends on it.
By calling your emotions "clues" instead of "crises" you can discover your emotional-eating triggers and develop an action strategy (like journaling or calling a friend) instead of a reaction response (yelling at your family or indulging in an unhealthy food to get rid of your strong emotion).
Action for the day: For today, treat your emotions as clues. Instead of reacting to your emotions, take a look at them individually and ask yourself, "What is this emotion trying to tell me?"
© 2007, National Association for Weight Loss Surgery. All rights reserved. Daily Inspirations are provided by the National Association for Weight Loss Surgery. Get our free report, How to Regain-Proof Your Weight Loss Surgery at .www.nawls.com0 -
Hello ALL,
Let me know if you are interested in taking this class for only $97 bucks starting Wednesday October 6th. Katie discounted the price when I told her I am going to try to get 8 of my own friends to sign up. I need six more students. Send me a personal message if interested and I will send you the link and give you more details. +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Hi Molly!
Here are the details, including the cost. If you are interested, just click on the link at the end of this email.
Warmly,
Katie
Train to Maintain Teleclass
Who: Anyone who has had any type of bariatric surgery (we’re accepting 8 people – tops!)
What: 5 weekly teleclasses on Wednesday evenings at 8pm Eastern (Sept. 1, 8, 15, 22, and 29)
We'll be covering topics such as:
** How to Boost Your Metabolism
** Identifying and Avoiding Trigger Foods and Situations
** Managing Emotional Eating
** How to Get Off Sugar and Get on with Your Life
** Stubborn Weight Regain
** How to Lose Your "Fat" Personality and Take Charge!
** The Secrets to Maintaining Weight Loss for Life
Plus: You’ll receive all of the classes on CD, when the class is done, so you can listen again and again (as many have done in the past!). We’ll also provide a downloadable action guide for the class.
Bonus! You’ll also receive one, 30-minute complimentary private telecoaching session with Katie. (Schedule anytime!) These are great to use as follow-up after the class or if you have a specific issue you would like to discuss.
Investment: $127.00 (NAWLS members get 10% off!)0
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