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  • CacoEtherCacoEther Member Posts: 1,315 Member Member Posts: 1,315 Member
    CacoEther wrote: »
    ReenieHJ wrote: »
    Watching someone grieve just an inch at a time, not being given the opportunity of getting it fully out during a specified timeframe)whether that's a month, a week, a year), but each stage of physical/mental change brings more grief watching new decreases in ability to live, remember, enjoy life the way it used to be....all while trying to take care of someone. And take care of themselves too? That's something that just doesn't get done. And what's there to look forward to at the end of all of it?
    Nothing.

    I wish I had faith.

    Nothing more cruel than the Long Goodbye 💔

    True. I'm currently watching this happen with my grandmother. Her Alzheimer's is slowly progressing to the point where she can no longer remember us, thinks we're strangers all meant to harm her and she is starting to believe she is much younger than she is and that certain life events never happened (for her).

    I watched this happen already with my other grandmother a few years ago. It was slow, cruel and in the end? She became a person I never recognized and never thought existed. She was hateful, somewhat racist and just in general a completely different person. And when she left, I saw the hole left by her absence in both our extended family and in my dad's heart. The only "good" thing at the end was that it was over. But nothing was gained from her death outside of memories.

    That is crushing that you already watched it happen once and have to go through it again, I’m so sorry for you all
  • ElTriste1973ElTriste1973 Member Posts: 232 Member Member Posts: 232 Member
    ReenieHJ wrote: »
    I'm not the praying type but do occasionally ask for special. :( Today is one of those days. My BIL is undergoing surgery this a.m. Their 54th anniversary is coming in 5 days. Please let them see the day, together, alive, awake, and at least partially smiling.
    My sister had no clue what decision would be the best. But then the surgeon told her if they did nothing, he probably wouldn't last the week. If they operate he'd be more comfortable; time is still no guarantee. But it wasn't anyways.

    Argh.

    I hope all goes well, it is very difficult I know from experience. Sending prayers and best wishes too.
  • slimgirljo15slimgirljo15 Member Posts: 248,559 Member Member Posts: 248,559 Member
    ReenieHJ wrote: »
    I'm not the praying type but do occasionally ask for special. :( Today is one of those days. My BIL is undergoing surgery this a.m. Their 54th anniversary is coming in 5 days. Please let them see the day, together, alive, awake, and at least partially smiling.
    My sister had no clue what decision would be the best. But then the surgeon told her if they did nothing, he probably wouldn't last the week. If they operate he'd be more comfortable; time is still no guarantee. But it wasn't anyways.

    Argh.

    sending well wishes and positive thoughts that you get the outcome you would like.. 🙏
  • CacoEtherCacoEther Member Posts: 1,315 Member Member Posts: 1,315 Member
    ReenieHJ wrote: »
    I'm not the praying type but do occasionally ask for special. :( Today is one of those days. My BIL is undergoing surgery this a.m. Their 54th anniversary is coming in 5 days. Please let them see the day, together, alive, awake, and at least partially smiling.
    My sister had no clue what decision would be the best. But then the surgeon told her if they did nothing, he probably wouldn't last the week. If they operate he'd be more comfortable; time is still no guarantee. But it wasn't anyways.

    Argh.

    Thinking of you all.. let us know if he comes through ok?
  • MaltedTeaMaltedTea Member, Premium Posts: 3,028 Member Member, Premium Posts: 3,028 Member
    @ReenieHJ 🙏🏿

    You've been going through a lot this month. So glad you're able to share here. We got you.
  • Diatonic12Diatonic12 Member Posts: 8,307 Member Member Posts: 8,307 Member
    When I was a kid I used to say to myself 'I'm a stealth bomber for you, baby'. Warriors fly right into the situation while praying through the entire mission. We no longer have to hide behind anything. Those days are over.
  • KosmosKittenKosmosKitten Member Posts: 8,197 Member Member Posts: 8,197 Member
    @ReenieHJ I don't pray or believe in higher powers, BUT I will send lots of positive vibes and goodwill toward your BIL, yourself and your sister. Sounds like you all could use it. :heart:

    I hope your BIL has a swift recovery and can go home soon.
  • Diatonic12Diatonic12 Member Posts: 8,307 Member Member Posts: 8,307 Member
    Understood and appreciated @kosmoskitten. Copy that.

    Beliefs are individual and very delicate issues. I don't want to step on deeply felt principles.
  • ReenieHJReenieHJ Member Posts: 2,505 Member Member Posts: 2,505 Member
    @KosmosKitten
    Exactly the way I feel. More of a spiritual connection.
  • VersicolourVersicolour Member Posts: 6,667 Member Member Posts: 6,667 Member
    @KosmosKitten and @ReenieHJ Thank you for explaining. I didn't intend to come across as preachy and I'm sorry if I did. I was just honestly baffled
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