Serious/heavy/deep/real stuff
Replies
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My younger sister (43) had a stroke over the weekend. While they were treating her for the stroke they found heart disease as well. The number one reason why I started getting fit and healthy was because of the family history of diabetes, heart disease, stroke and cancer. I went to visit yesterday and I cringed as she lit a cigarette. The insanity continues.19
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Oh no @GymGoddess!!
I hope she recovers 100%, has no more issues AND changes her lifestyle.2 -
GymGoddessGoals wrote: »My younger sister (43) had a stroke over the weekend. While they were treating her for the stroke they found heart disease as well. The number one reason why I started getting fit and healthy was because of the family history of diabetes, heart disease, stroke and cancer. I went to visit yesterday and I cringed as she lit a cigarette. The insanity continues.
It is so frustrating to watch behavior like that. Don't fall into the trap of taking it upon yourself though, you can't make people want to change unfortunately
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Oh no @GymGoddess!!
I hope she recovers 100%, has no more issues AND changes her lifestyle.GymGoddessGoals wrote: »My younger sister (43) had a stroke over the weekend. While they were treating her for the stroke they found heart disease as well. The number one reason why I started getting fit and healthy was because of the family history of diabetes, heart disease, stroke and cancer. I went to visit yesterday and I cringed as she lit a cigarette. The insanity continues.
It is so hard seeing the people you care about hurting themselves. I'm glad she survived and hopefully they can reverse some of the damage or stop it from progressing.
Here's hoping she sees the need to change now, too. ❤️2 -
@ReenieHJ @Versicolour @_sw33tp3a_11
I just wanted to take a moment to thank you for your responses and perspectives. It's been a busy couple days (work stupid) and I have been thinking about your sweet hearts and awesome responses. So often you offer love and acceptance to virtual strangers, and I appreciate you all for that.
Some days it's disheartening to know just how many hurting people there are out there, but then kind and empathetic people like you show up, and it just balances everything out again.
❤️
Thank you.7 -
KickassAmazon76 wrote: »@ReenieHJ @Versicolour @_sw33tp3a_11
I just wanted to take a moment to thank you for your responses and perspectives. It's been a busy couple days (work stupid) and I have been thinking about your sweet hearts and awesome responses. So often you offer love and acceptance to virtual strangers, and I appreciate you all for that.
Some days it's disheartening to know just how many hurting people there are out there, but then kind and empathetic people like you show up, and it just balances everything out again.
❤️
Thank you.
I've found, throughout life, it feels very validating to know you're not alone in your feelings, thoughts and experiences. Nothing worse than thinking it's your fault or only happens because of you and only to you. That can make you feel so alone in the world which is never a good feeling.
Even as introverted as I am, I still need a social circle of some kind to know *I'm okay* and this kind of stuff happens to others. So it helps to let others know they're not alone.
I'm not much of a talker but a heckuva listener.
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4legsRbetterthan2 wrote: »GymGoddessGoals wrote: »My younger sister (43) had a stroke over the weekend. While they were treating her for the stroke they found heart disease as well. The number one reason why I started getting fit and healthy was because of the family history of diabetes, heart disease, stroke and cancer. I went to visit yesterday and I cringed as she lit a cigarette. The insanity continues.
It is so frustrating to watch behavior like that. Don't fall into the trap of taking it upon yourself though, you can't make people want to change unfortunately
My ex husband smoked for about fifteen years, and had a massive heart attack at 48. He had a 5-way bypass. They also discovered he was type 2 diabetic at that point. The surgery had problems and he was in a coma for three months, during which he went from 350 pounds to 200. If he had lost another 50 pounds, and had some surgery to take off the sagging skin, he would have been at the weight he was when we married at 28. When he walked out of the rehab place, I was willing to do whatever it took to help him lose that remaining weight. If he wanted to eat vegetarian, ok, keto, IF, whatever, I was right there with him and I would make it tasty and interesting.
Instead he ate a full meal every four hours and put it all back on with interest in a year.
I finally had to leave him due to his hoarding. It broke my heart to watch him killing himself slowly, but there's nothing I can do to help anyone change unless they want to.
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I get it, I feel that way a lot too. I've made it through my eating disorder, but still struggle with my depression. I have ptsd as well from a suicide attempt, which isn't too bad now that I have medication. With covid I feel extra lonely and sad these days. I don't have a partner, and don't necessarily want one, but I guess I just want to feel loved sometimes, you know? Everyone around me seems to have their life together but I feel like I'm always covering up the fact that deep down I'm not doing so great.8
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I get it, I feel that way a lot too. I've made it through my eating disorder, but still struggle with my depression. I have ptsd as well from a suicide attempt, which isn't too bad now that I have medication. With covid I feel extra lonely and sad these days. I don't have a partner, and don't necessarily want one, but I guess I just want to feel loved sometimes, you know? Everyone around me seems to have their life together but I feel like I'm always covering up the fact that deep down I'm not doing so great.
Wish I could give you a real hug and share a cup of coffee with you this a.m. {{HUGS}}
And I think you'd be surprised how some people who seem to have it all together, are struggling n their own ways. People can be great actors sometimes.6 -
AlexandraFindsHerself1971 wrote: »4legsRbetterthan2 wrote: »GymGoddessGoals wrote: »My younger sister (43) had a stroke over the weekend. While they were treating her for the stroke they found heart disease as well. The number one reason why I started getting fit and healthy was because of the family history of diabetes, heart disease, stroke and cancer. I went to visit yesterday and I cringed as she lit a cigarette. The insanity continues.
It is so frustrating to watch behavior like that. Don't fall into the trap of taking it upon yourself though, you can't make people want to change unfortunately
My ex husband smoked for about fifteen years, and had a massive heart attack at 48. He had a 5-way bypass. They also discovered he was type 2 diabetic at that point. The surgery had problems and he was in a coma for three months, during which he went from 350 pounds to 200. If he had lost another 50 pounds, and had some surgery to take off the sagging skin, he would have been at the weight he was when we married at 28. When he walked out of the rehab place, I was willing to do whatever it took to help him lose that remaining weight. If he wanted to eat vegetarian, ok, keto, IF, whatever, I was right there with him and I would make it tasty and interesting.
Instead he ate a full meal every four hours and put it all back on with interest in a year.
I finally had to leave him due to his hoarding. It broke my heart to watch him killing himself slowly, but there's nothing I can do to help anyone change unless they want to.
That's truly sad that such major health issues didn't turn it around for him permanently. You'd think a huge scare like that would hit home. It's terrible how our habits can over take us and consume our lives. Some people have no problems changing, some struggle through but keep at it and some must say to themselves 'what's the point, it's too much work, gonna die anyways'
Dh's mom had emphysema and lived on oxygen or years. His dad died of lung cancer. It still isn't enough for him to stop smoking. He's tried a few times during his life but it's too easy for him to give up. 4 -
I really want people to quit asking me if I'm glad 2020 is done with. No, I'm not! Barring a miracle (still hoping and praying for one), I know at least part of what 2021 has in store and am in absolutely no hurry to get there. And this is from family members who know what's going on.
I try hard not to be depressing and whiny, but come on people.
Thanks for the safe space to rant in, I feel better already.7 -
AlexandraFindsHerself1971 wrote: »4legsRbetterthan2 wrote: »GymGoddessGoals wrote: »My younger sister (43) had a stroke over the weekend. While they were treating her for the stroke they found heart disease as well. The number one reason why I started getting fit and healthy was because of the family history of diabetes, heart disease, stroke and cancer. I went to visit yesterday and I cringed as she lit a cigarette. The insanity continues.
It is so frustrating to watch behavior like that. Don't fall into the trap of taking it upon yourself though, you can't make people want to change unfortunately
My ex husband smoked for about fifteen years, and had a massive heart attack at 48. He had a 5-way bypass. They also discovered he was type 2 diabetic at that point. The surgery had problems and he was in a coma for three months, during which he went from 350 pounds to 200. If he had lost another 50 pounds, and had some surgery to take off the sagging skin, he would have been at the weight he was when we married at 28. When he walked out of the rehab place, I was willing to do whatever it took to help him lose that remaining weight. If he wanted to eat vegetarian, ok, keto, IF, whatever, I was right there with him and I would make it tasty and interesting.
Instead he ate a full meal every four hours and put it all back on with interest in a year.
I finally had to leave him due to his hoarding. It broke my heart to watch him killing himself slowly, but there's nothing I can do to help anyone change unless they want to.
That's truly sad that such major health issues didn't turn it around for him permanently. You'd think a huge scare like that would hit home. It's terrible how our habits can over take us and consume our lives. Some people have no problems changing, some struggle through but keep at it and some must say to themselves 'what's the point, it's too much work, gonna die anyways'
Dh's mom had emphysema and lived on oxygen or years. His dad died of lung cancer. It still isn't enough for him to stop smoking. He's tried a few times during his life but it's too easy for him to give up.
My ex had cancer, ended up hospitalized for 6wk and on chemo. After 6 weeks without a smoke, and having been talking about quitting the whole time we were together.. I was sure that was it.
The first thing he did when he got home was find a pack and light up. He's been smoking again ever since. (that was 16yr ago now)
My grandma had emphysema and I remember crying when I'd sleep over because she would cough so bad. She died of lung cancer and so I vowed never to smoke.
It is sad and disappointing to see a loved one hurting themselves when the way out seems so simple to us.
But... then again... I have never known addiction like that, so I am not in a place to effectively judge. One thing I came to terms with, when dealing with my ex's cancer was that none of us are guaranteed another day on this earth... So I needed to let go of my attempt to change things that weren't mine to change.
I fail miserably most days. 🥴
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I really want people to quit asking me if I'm glad 2020 is done with. No, I'm not! Barring a miracle (still hoping and praying for one), I know at least part of what 2021 has in store and am in absolutely no hurry to get there. And this is from family members who know what's going on.
I try hard not to be depressing and whiny, but come on people.
Thanks for the safe space to rant in, I feel better already.
{{HUGS}} @RAinWA
I keep saying to myself I wish it was spring. But then I think I'm rushing my sister's loss of her dh. We all need to appreciate(somehow because sometimes it's darn tough)where we are and find the good in every single moment we're blessed with.
And please don't ever feel you're being depressing and whiny here.
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My wife asked for a separation because we were having a tough time with our blended family. My daughter who resided with her mother moved in with us after her mother's sudden passing. At the same time her mother's side of the family worked hard to take my daughters inheritance. It has cost thousands of dollars and caused a mountain of stress up to this point.
We moved a few days before Christmas...and even though I'm married, I'm very much a single parent navigating covid schooling, a full time job, and working towards making our marriage work. Also helping my daughter navigate her feelings after such a loss at a young age.
I'm hoping 2021 is a better year to say the least. Even though things have been hard, I'm still blessed to have my child and a full time job. And it's my birthday tomorrow 🤪
Thanks for listening.19 -
Pencil_legs wrote: »My wife asked for a separation because we were having a tough time with our blended family. My daughter who resided with her mother moved in with us after her mother's sudden passing. At the same time her mother's side of the family worked hard to take my daughters inheritance. It has cost thousands of dollars and caused a mountain of stress up to this point.
We moved a few days before Christmas...and even though I'm married, I'm very much a single parent navigating covid schooling, a full time job, and working towards making our marriage work. Also helping my daughter navigate her feelings after such a loss at a young age.
I'm hoping 2021 is a better year to say the least. Even though things have been hard, I'm still blessed to have my child and a full time job. And it's my birthday tomorrow 🤪
Thanks for listening.
My heart goes out to you and your child. The stress you and your child are under is huge, and with your child having to deal with the loss of her mom... That's an inconceivable loss, and would be hard to navigate at the best of times. Under pandemic living... My God, I cannot imagine.
I am sad to hear that you and your wife are struggling. Blended families are tough, really tough, and even under the best circumstances, are a test to a relationship.
I hope that you are able to work it out together and would strongly recommend considering adding professional guidance into the mix.
No matter what, I'm glad you're pulling through. No matter what happens, all you can do is take it one step at a time.
I hope you, your daughter, and your wife are able to work things out.
And best wishes for a happy birthday. *big internet stranger hugs*6 -
KickassAmazon76 wrote: »Pencil_legs wrote: »My wife asked for a separation because we were having a tough time with our blended family. My daughter who resided with her mother moved in with us after her mother's sudden passing. At the same time her mother's side of the family worked hard to take my daughters inheritance. It has cost thousands of dollars and caused a mountain of stress up to this point.
We moved a few days before Christmas...and even though I'm married, I'm very much a single parent navigating covid schooling, a full time job, and working towards making our marriage work. Also helping my daughter navigate her feelings after such a loss at a young age.
I'm hoping 2021 is a better year to say the least. Even though things have been hard, I'm still blessed to have my child and a full time job. And it's my birthday tomorrow 🤪
Thanks for listening.
My heart goes out to you and your child. The stress you and your child are under is huge, and with your child having to deal with the loss of her mom... That's an inconceivable loss, and would be hard to navigate at the best of times. Under pandemic living... My God, I cannot imagine.
I am sad to hear that you and your wife are struggling. Blended families are tough, really tough, and even under the best circumstances, are a test to a relationship.
I hope that you are able to work it out together and would strongly recommend considering adding professional guidance into the mix.
No matter what, I'm glad you're pulling through. No matter what happens, all you can do is take it one step at a time.
I hope you, your daughter, and your wife are able to work things out.
And best wishes for a happy birthday. *big internet stranger hugs*
Thanks for that, We do have professional guidance for all involved. Its been a long road but we will all get through. I realize that I have it better then others, being there for my child is what Im focused on.7 -
My mother's husband died last night. He has been sick for most of the time I have known him to various degrees. He has a kidney transplant a number of years ago. My mother and he had a conversation after that and he said that if something serious happened that he did not want to be treated again. I've known all of this since Thanksgiving. At Thanksgiving they told me that his kidneys failed and that he was done. They said they would start hospice when he was at the point where he couldn't take care of himself. That started 9 days ago. Last night my mom called me and told me he was dead. It happened fast.
I'm really sad for my mom. She met him in a time where she was in a low spot. Despite being her caretaker for a number of years he was the best husband she could as for in my opinion.They really loved each other. At this point all I can do is be there for her for when she needs me. I don't know what else to say.21 -
Pencil_legs wrote: »KickassAmazon76 wrote: »Pencil_legs wrote: »My wife asked for a separation because we were having a tough time with our blended family. My daughter who resided with her mother moved in with us after her mother's sudden passing. At the same time her mother's side of the family worked hard to take my daughters inheritance. It has cost thousands of dollars and caused a mountain of stress up to this point.
We moved a few days before Christmas...and even though I'm married, I'm very much a single parent navigating covid schooling, a full time job, and working towards making our marriage work. Also helping my daughter navigate her feelings after such a loss at a young age.
I'm hoping 2021 is a better year to say the least. Even though things have been hard, I'm still blessed to have my child and a full time job. And it's my birthday tomorrow 🤪
Thanks for listening.
My heart goes out to you and your child. The stress you and your child are under is huge, and with your child having to deal with the loss of her mom... That's an inconceivable loss, and would be hard to navigate at the best of times. Under pandemic living... My God, I cannot imagine.
I am sad to hear that you and your wife are struggling. Blended families are tough, really tough, and even under the best circumstances, are a test to a relationship.
I hope that you are able to work it out together and would strongly recommend considering adding professional guidance into the mix.
No matter what, I'm glad you're pulling through. No matter what happens, all you can do is take it one step at a time.
I hope you, your daughter, and your wife are able to work things out.
And best wishes for a happy birthday. *big internet stranger hugs*
Thanks for that, We do have professional guidance for all involved. Its been a long road but we will all get through. I realize that I have it better then others, being there for my child is what Im focused on.
Kickass said it so eloquently; I have nothing to add except my best wishes everything gets better. You've got so much on your shoulders but it also looks like you're on the right track and trying to take it all back to a better place. Try to be patient; you'll get there.
Stay strong. Take care of yourself too. And Happy early birthday.2 -
My mother's husband died last night. He has been sick for most of the time I have known him to various degrees. He has a kidney transplant a number of years ago. My mother and he had a conversation after that and he said that if something serious happened that he did not want to be treated again. I've known all of this since Thanksgiving. At Thanksgiving they told me that his kidneys failed and that he was done. They said they would start hospice when he was at the point where he couldn't take care of himself. That started 9 days ago. Last night my mom called me and told me he was dead. It happened fast.
I'm really sad for my mom. She met him in a time where she was in a low spot. Despite being her caretaker for a number of years he was the best husband she could as for in my opinion.They really loved each other. At this point all I can do is be there for her for when she needs me. I don't know what else to say.
I'm glad your mom had him in her life and I'm also glad she has you there for her now. Life can be brutal at times and we all need to lean on others when things like this happens. I'm sorry this all happened to you and your family!!
Take care!3 -
Pencil_legs wrote: »My wife asked for a separation because we were having a tough time with our blended family. My daughter who resided with her mother moved in with us after her mother's sudden passing. At the same time her mother's side of the family worked hard to take my daughters inheritance. It has cost thousands of dollars and caused a mountain of stress up to this point.
We moved a few days before Christmas...and even though I'm married, I'm very much a single parent navigating covid schooling, a full time job, and working towards making our marriage work. Also helping my daughter navigate her feelings after such a loss at a young age.
I'm hoping 2021 is a better year to say the least. Even though things have been hard, I'm still blessed to have my child and a full time job. And it's my birthday tomorrow 🤪
Thanks for listening.
I am so sorry. This has not been an easy time for many people. I cannot imagine what your daughter is going through. I am glad she still has you. I wish people weren't so selfish all the time
Happy birthday. Or at least, I hope your birthday isn't too horrible. 🤗3 -
My mother's husband died last night. He has been sick for most of the time I have known him to various degrees. He has a kidney transplant a number of years ago. My mother and he had a conversation after that and he said that if something serious happened that he did not want to be treated again. I've known all of this since Thanksgiving. At Thanksgiving they told me that his kidneys failed and that he was done. They said they would start hospice when he was at the point where he couldn't take care of himself. That started 9 days ago. Last night my mom called me and told me he was dead. It happened fast.
I'm really sad for my mom. She met him in a time where she was in a low spot. Despite being her caretaker for a number of years he was the best husband she could as for in my opinion.They really loved each other. At this point all I can do is be there for her for when she needs me. I don't know what else to say.
I'm so sorry. That is a horrible thing to have to go through. I hope your mom is okay.1 -
Nvm3
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Also nvm 😉2
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This is tough. Im in the same boat for different reasons. But here is what seems a harsh thought, but something i heard a while ago. The question you ask is, do you want to change whats needed in yourself to achieve your goals? If you say yes, than you are lying to yourself. The thought is, you have what you are willing to work and sacrifice for. If you dont have something you think you want, its because the consequences of whats needed to get there are greater to you than what you want. Its a brutal look into ones soul sometimes.
I am now 50 years old with no children, and i would have loved to have a family. I am financially secure and have all the means to raise a child......except i have not been able to get over my shortcomings of being lousy at relationships. I found out it seems too late that hard truth that I was in control of this the whole time, and decided to concentrate on other things instead of trying to address my issues. Dont wait until you are 50 to find out what could have been. Try taking steps now to get what you ultimately want. You have lots of time, but it goes by fast if you are not careful.15 -
My BIL has been battling Alzheimers for several years and the end is (finally)drawing near. I shouldn't say finally but at this point, it's torture for my sister and the rest of the family. Pure torture. I hadn't been able to help for a week due to a throat issue/cold so when I went to help yesterday, it was difficult to see him even worse than he has been for the past 6-8 weeks. He's gone from Holocaust victim appearance to how is this man even still breathing? My sister loves him with each and every breath that's keeping them both alive. She's the most devoted wife and caregiver I've ever seen or probably will ever see in my lifetime.
They've had a lot of home health and hospice come in for the past 2 months. I'm having a really difficult time with how I'm feeling about hospice. So many of the RNs, LNAs, homemakers that come in are wonderful, caring, thoughtful, kind and just sweethearts. Man, but there are a few that have lied, covered up, made my sister feel like *kitten* the whole way through. In a situation like this, can't people find the tact and compassion that is needed to care for the patient and their families? Why does everything have to come down to funding, money, get 'em in and get 'em out type of thinking?? Our local hospice is quick to sign people up even before they're ready. IMO.
It feels like it's no more than a human assembly line. Sign 'em up, drug 'em to death, onto the next one. I realize nobody wants to see anyone in pain, I honestly do get that. But from day 1 Hospice has promoted increasing morphine even way back when.
I hope our local hospice is an exception and not the rule. But so many of them seem cold and hard.
So much frustration and anger right now.13 -
My BIL has been battling Alzheimers for several years and the end is (finally)drawing near. I shouldn't say finally but at this point, it's torture for my sister and the rest of the family. Pure torture. I hadn't been able to help for a week due to a throat issue/cold so when I went to help yesterday, it was difficult to see him even worse than he has been for the past 6-8 weeks. He's gone from Holocaust victim appearance to how is this man even still breathing? My sister loves him with each and every breath that's keeping them both alive. She's the most devoted wife and caregiver I've ever seen or probably will ever see in my lifetime.
They've had a lot of home health and hospice come in for the past 2 months. I'm having a really difficult time with how I'm feeling about hospice. So many of the RNs, LNAs, homemakers that come in are wonderful, caring, thoughtful, kind and just sweethearts. Man, but there are a few that have lied, covered up, made my sister feel like *kitten* the whole way through. In a situation like this, can't people find the tact and compassion that is needed to care for the patient and their families? Why does everything have to come down to funding, money, get 'em in and get 'em out type of thinking?? Our local hospice is quick to sign people up even before they're ready. IMO.
It feels like it's no more than a human assembly line. Sign 'em up, drug 'em to death, onto the next one. I realize nobody wants to see anyone in pain, I honestly do get that. But from day 1 Hospice has promoted increasing morphine even way back when.
I hope our local hospice is an exception and not the rule. But so many of them seem cold and hard.
So much frustration and anger right now.
End of life issues seems to be so challenging for every single person involved. I'm sorry you're dealing with all this @ReenieHJ Draw nearer to your sister, it sounds like you two are already super close. You can lean on each other.4 -
This is tough. Im in the same boat for different reasons. But here is what seems a harsh thought, but something i heard a while ago. The question you ask is, do you want to change whats needed in yourself to achieve your goals? If you say yes, than you are lying to yourself. The thought is, you have what you are willing to work and sacrifice for. If you dont have something you think you want, its because the consequences of whats needed to get there are greater to you than what you want. Its a brutal look into ones soul sometimes.
I am now 50 years old with no children, and i would have loved to have a family. I am financially secure and have all the means to raise a child......except i have not been able to get over my shortcomings of being lousy at relationships. I found out it seems too late that hard truth that I was in control of this the whole time, and decided to concentrate on other things instead of trying to address my issues. Dont wait until you are 50 to find out what could have been. Try taking steps now to get what you ultimately want. You have lots of time, but it goes by fast if you are not careful.
I wholeheartedly agree.6 -
This is tough. Im in the same boat for different reasons. But here is what seems a harsh thought, but something i heard a while ago. The question you ask is, do you want to change whats needed in yourself to achieve your goals? If you say yes, than you are lying to yourself. The thought is, you have what you are willing to work and sacrifice for. If you dont have something you think you want, its because the consequences of whats needed to get there are greater to you than what you want. Its a brutal look into ones soul sometimes.
I am now 50 years old with no children, and i would have loved to have a family. I am financially secure and have all the means to raise a child......except i have not been able to get over my shortcomings of being lousy at relationships. I found out it seems too late that hard truth that I was in control of this the whole time, and decided to concentrate on other things instead of trying to address my issues. Dont wait until you are 50 to find out what could have been. Try taking steps now to get what you ultimately want. You have lots of time, but it goes by fast if you are not careful.
This is sound advice.2 -
This is tough. Im in the same boat for different reasons. But here is what seems a harsh thought, but something i heard a while ago. The question you ask is, do you want to change whats needed in yourself to achieve your goals? If you say yes, than you are lying to yourself. The thought is, you have what you are willing to work and sacrifice for. If you dont have something you think you want, its because the consequences of whats needed to get there are greater to you than what you want. Its a brutal look into ones soul sometimes.
I am now 50 years old with no children, and i would have loved to have a family. I am financially secure and have all the means to raise a child......except i have not been able to get over my shortcomings of being lousy at relationships. I found out it seems too late that hard truth that I was in control of this the whole time, and decided to concentrate on other things instead of trying to address my issues. Dont wait until you are 50 to find out what could have been. Try taking steps now to get what you ultimately want. You have lots of time, but it goes by fast if you are not careful.
“Don't believe every thing you think.”
"Everything happens at exactly the right moment, neither too soon nor too late. You don't have to like it... it's just easier if you do.”
― Byron Katie
I think you're just hitting your stride and you're not too old to have all of these things you want. You take really good care of yourself and you can/will find someone who wants these things, too. They'll be younger than you but that doesn't matter. You have a lorra lorra to offer someone and don't you forget it.2 -
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