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  • CacoEtherCacoEther Member Posts: 1,759 Member Member Posts: 1,759 Member
    6 years ago today, my Dad walked me down the aisle. I wasn't getting married-- my step-aunt actually was because same-sex marriage was FINALLY legalized in NC in 2014. I wore a simple white dress and my aunt's fiancee let me borrow her bouquet.

    See, Dad was diagnosed at the age of 55 with metastatic pancreatic cancer in August of 2014. What we suspected was gallbladder trouble or at worst, a liver issue, turned out to be cancer stemming from his pancreas that had already spread to these other organs, hence the symptoms. I don't know if you know much about pancan, but once you are symptomatic, the survival rate is something like 6%. That's about a 94% morbidity rate.

    So, by October of 2014, the chemo was kicking his butt --though we were grateful at the time that he had decided to attempt treatment, we would later change our minds on that because it became impossible to tell if it was the chemo or the cancer making him sicker--and we were all coming to grips with the fact that every day was possibly The Last.

    I had just broken up with my boyfriend of 2+ years. Marriage wasn't a prospect. I was 28 and the youngest of 3 girls, and the other 2 had the traditional walk down the aisle on their big days. We wanted it, too.

    Daddy wasn't feeling well at all, but he grabbed my elbow and with all eyes on us, we traipsed down the makeshift aisle to the small flowered arbor we had assembled for my step-aunts to get married under there on the waterfront.

    Standing under it, we stopped and he told me that this is where the minister would ask who gives this woman away and he would say, her mother and I do. And we hugged. And I just kept whispering to him, you're going to be there, Dad. This is just a formality. You're gonna be there.

    Dad passed away 7 months later in his home. He was 56.

    I met a great guy in 2016 and in August, we got married in a tiny little waterside ceremony under a tree. My Dad's ashes were in a big, beautiful jar just a few feet away. My StepDad gave me away.

    Today on Facebook memories, the photo of Daddy in and I 2014 popped up.

    I am having a hard time, today. I cannot believe I got married without him there. I can't believe how fast time has moved on without him. I miss him so much.

    Thanks for letting me get that off my chest. I'll share some photos for your trouble. In the last one you can see his jar right there near all the other guests.

    rl2zzmi7kd1d.jpg

    v3ccvldk65ga.png


    icfreutz41vy.jpg

    b90ef1c1k993.jpg




    Precious memories of a precious man. Thank you for sharing, thinking of you today.. hope your day has some unexpected beautiful moments.
  • MaltedTeaMaltedTea Member, Premium Posts: 3,342 Member Member, Premium Posts: 3,342 Member
    CacoEther wrote: »
    6 years ago today, my Dad walked me down the aisle. I wasn't getting married-- my step-aunt actually was because same-sex marriage was FINALLY legalized in NC in 2014. I wore a simple white dress and my aunt's fiancee let me borrow her bouquet.

    See, Dad was diagnosed at the age of 55 with metastatic pancreatic cancer in August of 2014. What we suspected was gallbladder trouble or at worst, a liver issue, turned out to be cancer stemming from his pancreas that had already spread to these other organs, hence the symptoms. I don't know if you know much about pancan, but once you are symptomatic, the survival rate is something like 6%. That's about a 94% morbidity rate.

    So, by October of 2014, the chemo was kicking his butt --though we were grateful at the time that he had decided to attempt treatment, we would later change our minds on that because it became impossible to tell if it was the chemo or the cancer making him sicker--and we were all coming to grips with the fact that every day was possibly The Last.

    I had just broken up with my boyfriend of 2+ years. Marriage wasn't a prospect. I was 28 and the youngest of 3 girls, and the other 2 had the traditional walk down the aisle on their big days. We wanted it, too.

    Daddy wasn't feeling well at all, but he grabbed my elbow and with all eyes on us, we traipsed down the makeshift aisle to the small flowered arbor we had assembled for my step-aunts to get married under there on the waterfront.

    Standing under it, we stopped and he told me that this is where the minister would ask who gives this woman away and he would say, her mother and I do. And we hugged. And I just kept whispering to him, you're going to be there, Dad. This is just a formality. You're gonna be there.

    Dad passed away 7 months later in his home. He was 56.

    I met a great guy in 2016 and in August, we got married in a tiny little waterside ceremony under a tree. My Dad's ashes were in a big, beautiful jar just a few feet away. My StepDad gave me away.

    Today on Facebook memories, the photo of Daddy in and I 2014 popped up.

    I am having a hard time, today. I cannot believe I got married without him there. I can't believe how fast time has moved on without him. I miss him so much.

    Thanks for letting me get that off my chest. I'll share some photos for your trouble. In the last one you can see his jar right there near all the other guests.



    Precious memories of a precious man. Thank you for sharing, thinking of you today.. hope your day has some unexpected beautiful moments.

    Life is so bittersweet. So glad your father had the foresight to walk you down the aisle...and that you got to do it again with your stepdad. Yet it must be tough to see the Facebook memories.
  • Kashmir_314_Kashmir_314_ Member Posts: 615 Member Member Posts: 615 Member
    6 years ago today, my Dad walked me down the aisle. I wasn't getting married-- my step-aunt actually was because same-sex marriage was FINALLY legalized in NC in 2014. I wore a simple white dress and my aunt's fiancee let me borrow her bouquet.

    See, Dad was diagnosed at the age of 55 with metastatic pancreatic cancer in August of 2014. What we suspected was gallbladder trouble or at worst, a liver issue, turned out to be cancer stemming from his pancreas that had already spread to these other organs, hence the symptoms. I don't know if you know much about pancan, but once you are symptomatic, the survival rate is something like 6%. That's about a 94% morbidity rate.

    So, by October of 2014, the chemo was kicking his butt --though we were grateful at the time that he had decided to attempt treatment, we would later change our minds on that because it became impossible to tell if it was the chemo or the cancer making him sicker--and we were all coming to grips with the fact that every day was possibly The Last.

    I had just broken up with my boyfriend of 2+ years. Marriage wasn't a prospect. I was 28 and the youngest of 3 girls, and the other 2 had the traditional walk down the aisle on their big days. We wanted it, too.

    Daddy wasn't feeling well at all, but he grabbed my elbow and with all eyes on us, we traipsed down the makeshift aisle to the small flowered arbor we had assembled for my step-aunts to get married under there on the waterfront.

    Standing under it, we stopped and he told me that this is where the minister would ask who gives this woman away and he would say, her mother and I do. And we hugged. And I just kept whispering to him, you're going to be there, Dad. This is just a formality. You're gonna be there.

    Dad passed away 7 months later in his home. He was 56.

    I met a great guy in 2016 and in August, we got married in a tiny little waterside ceremony under a tree. My Dad's ashes were in a big, beautiful jar just a few feet away. My StepDad gave me away.

    Today on Facebook memories, the photo of Daddy in and I 2014 popped up.

    I am having a hard time, today. I cannot believe I got married without him there. I can't believe how fast time has moved on without him. I miss him so much.

    Thanks for letting me get that off my chest. I'll share some photos for your trouble. In the last one you can see his jar right there near all the other guests.

    rl2zzmi7kd1d.jpg

    v3ccvldk65ga.png


    icfreutz41vy.jpg

    b90ef1c1k993.jpg




    *Biggest hugs* My heart hurts for you. Embrace the memories, that's what keeps them here with us.
  • glassyoglassyo Member Posts: 4,883 Member Member Posts: 4,883 Member
    CacoEther wrote: »
    @glassyo wrote: »
    I've been with the same company for 15 years and have worked in the same industry for 35.

    My boss helped start a side venture that really took off and is now slowing down/stopping (I'm not sure how that's going to go) his main business. We originally were going to go through one more of our busy seasons until that happened but, apparently, now it might be a matter of weeks. This industry is all I've known for 35 years (altho, now that I think about it, it makes more sense for me to be involved in the side venture 😀)!

    He's going to catch me up on what's going on today but I hate change and I'm not ready for what this may mean at all.

    Update?

    Ok, update!

    He'll be out of town for most of the rest of year only coming back for holidays because the new venture needs him there. I don't think we're completely getting rid of all our clients....only the small time individuals. He's been wanting/needing to slow down anyway. He spends way too many late nights at work during our busy season.

    It'll mostly be business as usual while he's gone. I might get tired of actually leaving early! (While the cat's away and all. :))

    And that's all I know other than some personal stuff you guys wouldn't care about. :)
  • CacoEtherCacoEther Member Posts: 1,759 Member Member Posts: 1,759 Member
    glassyo wrote: »
    CacoEther wrote: »
    @glassyo wrote: »
    I've been with the same company for 15 years and have worked in the same industry for 35.

    My boss helped start a side venture that really took off and is now slowing down/stopping (I'm not sure how that's going to go) his main business. We originally were going to go through one more of our busy seasons until that happened but, apparently, now it might be a matter of weeks. This industry is all I've known for 35 years (altho, now that I think about it, it makes more sense for me to be involved in the side venture 😀)!

    He's going to catch me up on what's going on today but I hate change and I'm not ready for what this may mean at all.

    Update?

    Ok, update!

    He'll be out of town for most of the rest of year only coming back for holidays because the new venture needs him there. I don't think we're completely getting rid of all our clients....only the small time individuals. He's been wanting/needing to slow down anyway. He spends way too many late nights at work during our busy season.

    It'll mostly be business as usual while he's gone. I might get tired of actually leaving early! (While the cat's away and all. :))

    And that's all I know other than some personal stuff you guys wouldn't care about. :)

    So we’re all smiles? It’s basically good news?
  • glassyoglassyo Member Posts: 4,883 Member Member Posts: 4,883 Member
    CacoEther wrote: »
    glassyo wrote: »
    CacoEther wrote: »
    @glassyo wrote: »
    I've been with the same company for 15 years and have worked in the same industry for 35.

    My boss helped start a side venture that really took off and is now slowing down/stopping (I'm not sure how that's going to go) his main business. We originally were going to go through one more of our busy seasons until that happened but, apparently, now it might be a matter of weeks. This industry is all I've known for 35 years (altho, now that I think about it, it makes more sense for me to be involved in the side venture 😀)!

    He's going to catch me up on what's going on today but I hate change and I'm not ready for what this may mean at all.

    Update?

    Ok, update!

    He'll be out of town for most of the rest of year only coming back for holidays because the new venture needs him there. I don't think we're completely getting rid of all our clients....only the small time individuals. He's been wanting/needing to slow down anyway. He spends way too many late nights at work during our busy season.

    It'll mostly be business as usual while he's gone. I might get tired of actually leaving early! (While the cat's away and all. :))

    And that's all I know other than some personal stuff you guys wouldn't care about. :)

    So we’re all smiles? It’s basically good news?

    So far! :)
  • KosmosKittenKosmosKitten Member Posts: 8,821 Member Member Posts: 8,821 Member
    hawkeye45_ wrote: »
    I don't get deep with a lot of folks because I have the literal worst opinions, to the point that some of them would get me fired if the wrong person heard about them. Instead I deflect too much with humor, most of it self-deprecating, and I end up pushing away potential friends. The only people left who seem to want to put up with me are submissive types who need me to tell them to drink water and not tolerate people who are bad to them.

    Just remember: To all of us, some of our opinions will be perceived as downright evil to others. That is one of the downsides to living in a society; everyone has differing opinions on what constitutes the "right" or ethical things.

    And nothing in life is black and white. We all operate in a world of greys, whether we want to admit to it or not.
  • Diatonic12Diatonic12 Member Posts: 11,620 Member Member Posts: 11,620 Member
    All or Nothing thinking with food affects every area of our life. We learn these behaviors in childhood. We observe our family and relatives and we simply keeping carrying on in the family tradition.

    Do everything on your own terms. Give yourselves permission to do your own thinking. Take what you need from a bunch of different sources because there's safety in that. Let everything else eat your dust because you will not be deterred.

    If you have that All or Nothing approach to life it results in narrow thinking and a narrow way of life. Maybe you've dropped the weight, you're at your dream weight but that very narrow and rigid way of living and thinking is still with you. You can't roam free. Think out of the box because there is no box. The sky is not the limit and it never was. There's infinity.

    Be a free range roamer and think for yourself.

    edited October 27
  • VeryKatieVeryKatie Member Posts: 5,790 Member Member Posts: 5,790 Member
    I cant decide if I should have a 3rd baby or not. I can't stop thinking about it, ever. But at the same time things are so nice with my two children right now and im not sure I feel like being pregnant again.

    I have huge lists of reasons why and why not running through my head at all moments of the day and night, I'm totally obsessed. And I am wanting someone else to decide for me. But someone who will take it seriously and make the right decision lol. Why do I have to be the one to decide. My husband keeps saying he is on board with whatever and he thinks I want one cuz I can't stop obsessing. But I think the reality.. is that I want 2 or 4 because even numbers. And he doesnt want 4, he wants 3... so... I dont know!

    We have a boy and girl now and it would be good to have 1 more of each since I'm worried about someone feeling left out. But the reality is I have no control over that either!!
    edited October 27
  • VeryKatieVeryKatie Member Posts: 5,790 Member Member Posts: 5,790 Member
    CacoEther wrote: »
    6 years ago today, my Dad walked me down the aisle. I wasn't getting married-- my step-aunt actually was because same-sex marriage was FINALLY legalized in NC in 2014. I wore a simple white dress and my aunt's fiancee let me borrow her bouquet.

    See, Dad was diagnosed at the age of 55 with metastatic pancreatic cancer in August of 2014. What we suspected was gallbladder trouble or at worst, a liver issue, turned out to be cancer stemming from his pancreas that had already spread to these other organs, hence the symptoms. I don't know if you know much about pancan, but once you are symptomatic, the survival rate is something like 6%. That's about a 94% morbidity rate.

    So, by October of 2014, the chemo was kicking his butt --though we were grateful at the time that he had decided to attempt treatment, we would later change our minds on that because it became impossible to tell if it was the chemo or the cancer making him sicker--and we were all coming to grips with the fact that every day was possibly The Last.

    I had just broken up with my boyfriend of 2+ years. Marriage wasn't a prospect. I was 28 and the youngest of 3 girls, and the other 2 had the traditional walk down the aisle on their big days. We wanted it, too.

    Daddy wasn't feeling well at all, but he grabbed my elbow and with all eyes on us, we traipsed down the makeshift aisle to the small flowered arbor we had assembled for my step-aunts to get married under there on the waterfront.

    Standing under it, we stopped and he told me that this is where the minister would ask who gives this woman away and he would say, her mother and I do. And we hugged. And I just kept whispering to him, you're going to be there, Dad. This is just a formality. You're gonna be there.

    Dad passed away 7 months later in his home. He was 56.

    I met a great guy in 2016 and in August, we got married in a tiny little waterside ceremony under a tree. My Dad's ashes were in a big, beautiful jar just a few feet away. My StepDad gave me away.

    Today on Facebook memories, the photo of Daddy in and I 2014 popped up.

    I am having a hard time, today. I cannot believe I got married without him there. I can't believe how fast time has moved on without him. I miss him so much.

    Thanks for letting me get that off my chest. I'll share some photos for your trouble. In the last one you can see his jar right there near all the other guests.

    rl2zzmi7kd1d.jpg

    v3ccvldk65ga.png


    icfreutz41vy.jpg

    b90ef1c1k993.jpg




    Precious memories of a precious man. Thank you for sharing, thinking of you today.. hope your day has some unexpected beautiful moments.

    This made me legitimately cry. I'm sorry for your loss but also that is such a precious memory.
  • KosmosKittenKosmosKitten Member Posts: 8,821 Member Member Posts: 8,821 Member
    As an added kick in the pants, I get to spend the first half of the day I was dreading tomorrow- Dad's birthday- visiting the Sheriff's Office because I am being pursued by a debt collector and they like scare tactics. I just wanna go lay somewhere and not move.

    Oh my gosh, I am so sorry that is happening to you.

    How is that kind of behavior or action even legal anymore? You know who uses scare tactics to get their money back? Mobsters. I hope the Sheriff can assist. :grimace:
  • hawkeye45_hawkeye45_ Member Posts: 776 Member Member Posts: 776 Member
    You can do everything right and still fail.
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