WOMEN AGES 50+ FOR MAY 2021
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KetoneKaren wrote: »Machka - admiring the way you handle stress.
Karen in Virginia
Thank you.
And that leads me to a question:
How do you handle stress?
Everywhere I look there are articles, and suggestions, and products to buy, and so on related to "self-care" ... and all those things are mainly about relaxing, giving yourself a break and focusing on nice things you like to do when the world is uncertain and things aren't quite how we like them to be.
But when the stress level really escalates, and perhaps relaxing becomes difficult to do, what are some things you do to refocus the stress?
I've given this a lot of thought over recent months because the usual things people suggest (meditation, bubble bath, yoga, etc.) don't work for me. I could see them working if I've had a busy day at work with lots of pressure and deadlines and just wanted to quiet down in the evening, but that's not my level of stress.
So I started exploring what does work for me and these are some things I came up with:
1. Prayer. Lots of it while I am doing other things.
2. Activity. Cleaning is one of my first 'go-to's and a bus friend yesterday told me that is a common one because it gives a person some sense of control. While the main stressor is completely out of my control ... I can have floors you could eat off.
Exercise is another one. Running, cycling up hills, really brisk walks ... something at the upper level of my exertion range. Something that wears me out and expends a good deal of my energy. I remember one day, 3 years ago, when my husband was still in a coma, running along the beach on a very windy morning with the waves crashing and screaming into the wind and waves while I ran with whatever gasping breath I had. No one was out there that day, but if anyone had seen me they'd have thought I was nuts.
3. Music. Especially loud music. I like quiet soothing music if I've had the busy day at work and I'm relaxing just before bed, but when I'm really stressed, I like playing the music loud.
Happily, one side effect of this is that over the past few days I've lost a bit of weight. I don't eat much when I'm stressed either ... my stomach goes on strike. But being on my feet and active seems to make some difference in my weight too.
M in Oz2 -
❤️🧡💛0
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Gggg0
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Stress— In our house stress is a regular guest. DH has MS & diabetes. He has had a stroke in the past. We have been doing okay since the pandemic began, but being at home most of the time is losing it's shine. Our blessing is an upcoming visit from our daughter, who is coming to attend a family wedding. I am looking forward to her visit. The other grandparents are bringing the kids to see the Oregon Coast. They'll be in a large RV and we've booked an RV site in a nearby county campground for them.
We have good things to look forward to in the future.
Katla in NW Oregon4 -
Morning peeps, yogi watches in hopes father will drop something
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Morning ladies
Today not feeling so hot.. i have the dogs and just woke up from a 1 1/2 hr nap..,have to pick Dan up and drop.him.off and then come back to my place..
Going to investigate more about stage 5 kidney disease..
I remember my mom sleeping alot.
Only saving grace might be that whatever the kidney Dr sends to social security might help my cause..2 -
I heard from Rori, and she has asked me to share this information with all of you:
"I just wanted to give you a quick update because I know you worry when I disappear into Caregiver Cave. A week ago today, DH was taken by ambulance to the hospital. He could not get out of bed, and could not walk even with assistance. I noticed in the previous 2 weeks he had slowed down, but could still stand and walk. But, he declined over night. Today, we have a diagnosis of Parkinsons with dementia. He has remained in the hospital awaiting placement into a skilled nursing home with memory care. Given his advanced dementia, the goal is just to keep him safe and comfortable. Rehabbing to his previous level of mobility is a long shot, and a lower priority. They also found a slow flowing vein in his brain, which has probably been there for a long time. He is being watched carefully for any more clotting.
I spend 11-12 hours a day with him. His tremors come and go, so I like to be there to order his meals and help feed him. Staying in bed is so foreign to him, and he still thinks he can get up and go to the bathroom. I play music and give him hand massages to help relieve stress and frustration. It is exhausting, but I also consider these moments sacred and precious. There is nothing more important on my plate.
I don't know when I'll be able to catch up with our forum. Please feel free to share this news with the group, and know that I feel the prayers and love you all send my way."8 -
"Get to do"s and "chose well"sChose well: BP, dogs to powerline, pick up laptop.
Bonus: two loads laundry, one cart of sticks and 3 carts of salal to brush pile, stroll with T.
Get to do: take BP, dogs to powerline, USE those torture bands/do that BB&B video, call Philips 1-888-381-0749 re soundbar case 02283861, follow up with Dr re: Joe’s annual charges not covered 100%, watch for refund from Interpath for Joe’s labs paid on Feb statement call S, fire district: ongoing: input 2019 call sheets into NFIRS, work with chief on equipment letter, substance abuse policy, NFIRS mutual aid and other missing details, call Credit union re: credit card, ask for boots donator contact info, appreciation letter or certificate to boots donator, index mutual aid files; watch STAS Day 20, declutter sideboard, practice new dances (Do Your Thing, Pure Movies to Wine, Beer, Whiskey, I ain’t never gonna love nobody but Cornell Crawford (Alley cat), A Little Less Broken, One Margarita, I’m so used to being broke, All Night, Nothing but You, Blame it on my beating heart, Homesick); finish mulching flowerbed, invest another 10 minutes in prepping living trust, Freddie’s for complete series TDAP <$48, get Shingrix vaccine, find and configure a screen time popup, figure out where to plant the last of the naked lady bulbs, and soon as it warms up above 50 and dries out below 60% humidity I’ll tape and spray paint those rusted areas of Aunt Elsie’s stove. Reconcile Joe’s EOB’s Thrivent shows only 2263.48 so far, next BGBS ask Terry about GB’s FD firetruck tax levy – contacts, media, advocate???, Reward: inventory seeds, plan this spring’s garden, wishlist replenishments (Milena F1 orange peppers).
Meaningful May:
10: What values are important to you? Find ways to use them today. Honesty-gently sharing my point of view with T even though we differ on the topic.
Much nicer weather today, the wind persists but its temperature is much more pleasant. Joe suggested clearing the dried slala from the side yard would be a more effective use of my energy than picking up sticks from the drive. Whew, chopping brush is hard work!
Lisa OMG! Kelsey’s youngest is balanced on tiptoe atop his rocking horse’s head?!?
Kate stunning azaleas. Your, Heather’s and my husbands must be immortal sons from different mothers…
Ginny thankful you feel healed and are returning to your regular activities.
Heather I was startled when the trust officer made the point that passing property & $$ to surviving spouse is not the problem, but providing for if/when I’m incapacitated and no longer able to handle our finances is the issue. Supports my fears of pain and incapacity more than death, at least for now…
Machka thankful for the hopeful news from your husband’s cardiologist. Did he have any insight to what caused the blood pressure spike awhile ago? Cleaning is such a positive response to fear/worry/stress. Bravissima.
Katla excited for your DD’s and grands’ visit!
Rebecca give yourself grace to recover from #2. You’ll get your mojo back, and if you don’t just channel Athena Rose
Welcome @ariellapermail683 ! We’re glad you found us. Would you let us know what you’d like to be called and your general locale?
Vicki sorry for your loss. It’s a sad and lonely feeling when all our parent’s generation have gone ahead. Glad you didn’t break anything in the fall, too bad about the shiner…
Debbie sounds like your mom is keeping busy, a good thing, but expect eventually she’ll wind down and need you to help her grieve. Oh how I envy you your artichokes! Really must try to grow some here. Freddie’s wants $3.50 each!
Allie ((hugs)) that is a rough diagnosis. You’ve beaten the odds on everything else, bet you beat this too. ((hugs))
Pip
your creative storage solutions, your multicolored, multitextured rug, and most especially love the flaked out Yogi.
Annie, “here we go again” brava. Picking up and starting again is key to success. Never ever give up.
Flea ((hugs)) it IS hard. ((hugs))
Kay “…I wish we had stayed in touch.” Ditto.
Welcome @andarbaar in NYC! If you find any secrets, please share! :laugh: Would you let us know what you’d like to be called?
Woo hoo, is it good to have my own laptop back! Used Joe’s for the past two days while mine was getting its periodic tuneup and boy do I appreciate the faster startup, higher resolution and smoother, more responsive keyboard.
My strolling buddy suggested a walk this afternoon. I almost declined as my energy tanks after 1pm. Pulled up my big girl panties and said yes. We were both tired so didn’t do the last loop but it was enough to meet my daily goal. Another good choice, I was craving carbs after lunch, reaching for matzoh with butter, grabbed carrots, celery and dip instead. Fingers Xd this is the beginning of a trend
Lighter, lovelies!
Barbara, the Southern Oregon Coastie AHMOD
May: leaner/stronger/kinder than April.
daily: sit with Joe:10 , weigh/wii: 10/1/14; steps>6362=7508, vits=10, log=10, CI<CO=9, CI<250<CO=7, Tumble=7, Shadow=7, mfp=10, outside=9, up hill=7, clean 10=3.5
wkly: BB&B,T’ai Chi or SWSY x3= rX x4=2 dance=1, packwalk x2=2,
wt=1/31:141.3 2/28:142.4 3/31:145.3 4/30:141.5 5/2:139.1!, 5/9:141.8, 5/16:, 5/23:, 5/30:.
mnthly: board mtg=, grant=, 21 plan=, waist=42.5
bonus: AF=8 play=1 sew=
2021: choose to be leaner/stronger/kinder NOW
If you lived closer I could hook you up with some nice plants my dad started. They are in the green house and need a place to be planted. If mom still has them when I go up in a few weeks, I may take one home- They really need a big area and need to have wire cage around the roots if you are planting them in the garden- gophers LOVE them. I don't have that problem because everything is in pots- just not a lot of room so have to be a bit choosy what I plant- ant that will take at least another year before it produces anything. Mom's are older and huge.
Mom will be busy for a while, for sure- with the garden and all those friends who said they would come help, haven't shown up yet, so she is stressing about it- in tears. She understands that people are busy BUT that doesn't help her- She planned the huge garden because they all said they would help- she said it would be a community garden- Just a busy time of the year anyways but this is just more added stress on her.
Debbie0 -
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Finished my taxes! Yay! Now I have to figure out how to print a copy and change my withholding.1
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Katla - If you get a chance please tell Rori we love her and are with her in spirit.
I made a wonderful Kedgeree this evening , one of my favourite comfort foods. It's a bit of a faff, but so worth it.
Earlier I decided to use my Instant Pot to make individual cheesecake brulée bites.
Lot of effort but fun. I will freeze most of them for a guest occasion. Just have to brulée the top on the day. There was mixture left over (made 11) so I did 3 extra ones with no biscuit base in the oven. I expect those will get eaten!!!!!.
Nice to have some fancy desserts just ready to pull out.
Our lockdown is easing more on Monday. Meeting indoors and in restaurants allowed. I hope one or two guests will show up eventually. My brother? My DSIL?
Did 30 minutes rowing afterwards. Watching Call My Agent for the 2nd time around and nearly finished the 2nd run of Spiral. I'm going to be devastated when it's all finished. I'm thinking in French these days.
I was chucked off Netflix in the end because some little people were watching Minecraft and Sylvanian Family.
Love Heather UK xxxxxx
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Thinking of Rori,her husband and is it her brother?
Her husband is getting the care he needs and hopefully she does the same..
I know how she feels ,i spent alot of time with my FIL and I dont regret a bit of the time I spent with him,and I know she feels the same way..I am hoping she gets some rest herself she will need it. Yes Katla please send her my love if you talk with her again.
Tom got out early for an appointment,which i think is with his attorney..I will wait to see what he does and then will take appropriate action..0 -
Katla
So sad to hear the news from Rori about her husband's condition! Prayers for her and him.
Carol in GA2 -
Allie - many hugs... and may the fleas of a thousand camels infest Tom's armpits. Grr.
Katla - please add my sentiments to Heather's when you reach out to Rori.
Much as I hate to, I'm going to start the next round of antibiotics tomorrow. The pain is starting, and the fatigue is starting to become overwhelming. My best friend lectured me earlier today on the phone for about 15 minutes all told regarding the stupidity of waiting until I'm laid out flat again. I guess we all need people in our lives who can prod us into doing what's best for us. Love that woman--she's a little bossy, though.
I'm supposed to have a phone appointment with the gastroenterologist next month sometime, and I'm just hoping this will be the last round. The last antibiotic round started April 3, and this one's starting on May 12, so I guess an extra nine days will have to serve as progress.
Was going to go to the quilting club, but pretty much felt like crap on a cracker, so I stayed home.
Later y'all,
Love,
Lisa4 -
I know that Rori values all of the wonderful women here and is grateful for your good wishes. She has her hands full right now.
If I hear more from her I will pass on what I can. ❤️2 -
Today is Athena's 2nd birthday! We sang happy birthday and posted it fairly early on messenger. I think she had a fun day!
Rebecca
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We'll probably get a photo later on with a cake face🌹💕0
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💐🌹🥀🌷🌺🌸🌻🌼🏵️0
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Stopped for a drink in the neighboring town. Very cute town, solving ca.
k
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Lisa: Much as I hate to, I'm going to start the next round of antibiotics tomorrow. The pain is starting, and the fatigue is starting to become overwhelming. My best friend lectured me earlier today on the phone for about 15 minutes all told regarding the stupidity of waiting until I'm laid out flat again. I guess we all need people in our lives who can prod us into doing what's best for us. Love that woman--she's a little bossy, though.
You have a good friend. We all need truth tellers in our lives. In MYHO, bossy is good when a friend is telling us things we are trying to hide from admitting. You are lucky to have a bossy friend who loves you enough to tell the truth. 0 -
Upped the repetitions on my water exercises and my legs especially are really tired this afternoon.
Lisa - Hope you get a handle on the gut thing. You want to be able to enjoy the grands.
Katla - thanks for passing on the news from Rori. So glad you are getting a chance to see DD and the grands What a great thing to look forward to.
Pip - Solvang is a cute town. Is it still Danish themed? Been a very long time since I have been there.
Allie - not the best news from the doctor but you are not on dialysis are you? That seems like a good thing to me. Good luck dealing with Tom.
Everyone take care Sue in WA
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Day two under calories!
Annie in Delaware0 -
It was a nice and sunny day in Vancouver, WA for Athena Day! She wore her crown all day, and surveyed her realm.😁🌹
Hugs to our amazing Rori💖. She is dealing with so much, yet is so present. Her priorities are in perfect order, hoping her husband knows she's there. When my dad had Lewey Bodies disease, it was the brain synapses misfiring, so the stalling like Parkinson's, and also dementia. We made a 3 ring binder of "Things to Know" about our father for the nurses. He worked at a bank (on days when he just uttered numbers and dates), and he loved chocolate milkshakes, (the one thing we were required to bring). Some days our dad wasn't in, just a guy repetitive in rubbing his scalp. Other times he called us "babe" and there was light behind his eyes. Hugs dear Rori!
Rebecca
Whidbey
Washington3 -
Hugs to all of you that are struggling and those whose loved ones are suffering.
I’ve been reading along daily but I’m honestly brain dead at the end of the day. Our first live payroll is coming up.
Tracey in Edmonton2 -
Did a Body Pump DVD then walked around the block. The plan for tomorrow is to do a Firm Hard Core Fusion DVD
andabar – Right now I usually weigh myself every day at the same time of day. I can quickly see when the weight is creeping up and then try to incorporate more exercise, even if it’s just walking around the block. I also monitor the food that I eat very closely
Cool today, in the 60’s. But Vince refuses to wear pants….lol
Barbara – congrats on the great choice of foods
I deal with stress in one of two ways. I’m either stress eating or else exercise.
Katla – thanks so much for Rori’s update. I’m so glad she is in touch with you. There’s a special place in heaven for people like her (and M). My heart is just breaking for her. When you write her, be sure to tell her we all love and miss her, but we totally understand. Add my caring, too
Happy Birthday Athena. What a princess you are!
The jigsaw puzzle I’ll do for Jess and Colby came in the mail today so I put the modpodge on the one for us for the condo and when that dries I can start on the next puzzle. Also started the border
Strung a bit more popcorn
Lisa – you put a smile on my face with your spell for Tom…..
Sue in WA – how I miss my water aerobics!
Michele NC0 -
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Lisa- havent heard that one in ages.. im not worried.. he will have to boom up one way or another.. fell asleep early.. now awake..doing circle words on my phone1
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I heard from Rori, and she has asked me to share this information with all of you:
"I just wanted to give you a quick update because I know you worry when I disappear into Caregiver Cave. A week ago today, DH was taken by ambulance to the hospital. He could not get out of bed, and could not walk even with assistance. I noticed in the previous 2 weeks he had slowed down, but could still stand and walk. But, he declined over night. Today, we have a diagnosis of Parkinsons with dementia. He has remained in the hospital awaiting placement into a skilled nursing home with memory care. Given his advanced dementia, the goal is just to keep him safe and comfortable. Rehabbing to his previous level of mobility is a long shot, and a lower priority. They also found a slow flowing vein in his brain, which has probably been there for a long time. He is being watched carefully for any more clotting.
I spend 11-12 hours a day with him. His tremors come and go, so I like to be there to order his meals and help feed him. Staying in bed is so foreign to him, and he still thinks he can get up and go to the bathroom. I play music and give him hand massages to help relieve stress and frustration. It is exhausting, but I also consider these moments sacred and precious. There is nothing more important on my plate.
I don't know when I'll be able to catch up with our forum. Please feel free to share this news with the group, and know that I feel the prayers and love you all send my way."
Tell her we are praying for her. 1 -
International Nurses Day is celebrated around the world every May 12 , the anniversary of Florence Nightingale's birth.
https://www.icn.ch/what-we-do/campaigns/international-nurses-day
A big thank you to all the nurses!1
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