WOMEN AGES 50+ FOR AUGUST 2021
Replies
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trucker743 wrote: »Kim, Karen, Julie and Barbara, if you might recall Bob and I rediscovered one another way back in 2019. We had many phone conversations about getting together before Covid hit. We communicated about my past, his past and all of that well before this visit. His parents are both deceased.
We ARE, in fact, quite different. He is a worship leader at his church. I in fact offered to attend church with him on the Sunday I was there. They never called me back on that one and that was fine.
I get what you’re saying about projection. I’ve done that myself in the past about other relationships. Frankly, I’m somewhat inclined to the relative thought. While his wife has been attentive and gracious I sensed a coolness after our first two meetings. I honestly wouldn’t have gone for nearly a week had I not known there would be a couple of full day breaks in our six days’ time. He was not on vacation, so other than meeting the first night our time was Friday evening, Saturday day and evening and Sunday afternoon. He and I alone met for a quick Monday dinner before I left on Tuesday. His blocking and un friending me left me no chance to reply. The girls feel somewhat cheated that they didn’t get to meet him, but have said “oh well”! I just keep picking my jaw off the floor. I may never have an answer but “We’ll always have Columbus.” to paraphrase Casablanca rather prosaically.
Sharon Near Seattle
hi sharon thank you for reminding us of the background. i am sometimes on and off boards relative to work load (if I get very busy I'm not on boards much) and I hadn't seen you posting much at all in past months, and I didn't remember the whole story from 2019 and since.
Since you had visited, I assumed you had his postal address or could have it easily, knowing his name and general whereabouts, to send a postal note. but if you only have Facebook or social media contact - then I guess that sort of "ghosting" (usually done more in early-period online dates) is possible. That seems rather socially unskillful on his part to ghost without giving you the simple opportunity to respond one time.
I am thinking that it could also be connected to concern about possible financial responsibility. Filial responsibility, usually not considered a thing for birth parents, but with law ever changing - one never knows. if ever he is quite well off he could fear legal pressure or fear moral pressure to help take care of you - in terms of time, money, personal involvement, if you are in need in the future. I could imagine that could be a thought that comes to him.
Also as you said his parents had already passed, it's conceivable that that was very painful for him. (many - not all people get very depressed when their parents die and go through very long or even near-definitive grieving). He may fear for his emotional strength to go through something akin to that once again. And it may be hard for him to find a new parent after having lost two.
I'm really sorry about that. Still it is great and probably very healing and important for him that you met. It sounds as though he was sincerely grateful for that time, that you gave to him. So you can truly be happy about that, even if it was just a one time encounter.
Having one very good time seems like something rather good. One never knows if it would have stayed the same over time.
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"Get to do"s and "chose well"sChose well: BP, dogs to powerline, church, fellowship help,
Bonus: stroll around county fair, veg prep, one load laundry.
Get to do: take BP, dogs to powerline, figure out how to see what’s using all our mobile data, USE those torture bands/do that BB&B video, call S, Monday: call Cigna to change monthly summary from large to regular print, make appt for Tumble’s annual, fire district: research NFPA, grant NIMS requirements, ongoing: input 2019 call sheets into NFIRS, work with chief on equipment letter, substance abuse policy, NFIRS mutual aid and other missing details, likewise Lee skills/tasks, ask for boots donator contact info, appreciation letter or certificate to boots donator, index mutual aid files; watch STAS Day 20, declutter sideboard, learn new dances (Tequila Little Time, Homesick, Nothing but You, A Little Less Broken, Blame it on my beating heart,; Do Your Thing, practice dances: One Margarita, I’m so used to being broke, All Night, Pure Movies to Wine, Beer, Whiskey, I ain’t never gonna love nobody but Cornell Crawford (Alley cat),); finish mulching flowerbed, invest another 10 minutes in prepping living trust, Freddie’s for complete series TDAP <$48, get Shingrix vaccine, find and configure a screen time popup, figure out where to plant the last of the naked lady bulbs, and soon as it warms up above 50 and dries out below 60% humidity I’ll tape and spray paint those rusted areas of Aunt Elsie’s stove, ask Terry about GB’s FD firetruck tax levy – contacts, media, advocate???, Reward: inventory seeds, plan this fall’s garden, wishlist replenishments (Milena F1 orange peppers and beit alpha cukes next year).
August
1:Set an intention to be kind to others (and yourself) this month-and re-set as often as needed
2:Send an uplifting message to someone you can’t be with: drop off Re’s card?
Our county’s numbers have been up every day. Was going to lunch with T and C at the Irish Pub. They do have outdoor seating but tomorrow’s forecast is too chilly for my taste.
Lisa, thanks! “dorveille” who knew?
Machka gorgeous pics as always. You really have the eye.
Allie good luck taking Tal cold turkey off her electronics.
Sharon ((hugs))
Kiz your work situation sounds like a classic Catch 22. Glad you feel you have the freedom to terminate your employment if the stress gets too high (and how could it not?)
Diane in Tn really hope the PT gives you relief from the Achilles tendonitis. Ow!
Rita I remember prickly pear jelly from family road trips. That and the candy. Both moist and sweet and yummy! Hope you’re getting some support. Does your DH know he’s in the midst of a trial period? What a cutie pie that “jewelry” thief is!
Michele, glad I was sitting down when I read you “skipped the formal exercise.’ That must have been a first!
Evelyn brava for biking to work. I tried, back in the day, but was too afraid in the traffic.
Welcome back @cory17 Linda in the SFV Calif!
Strolled through our little county fair after church. A brave effort by the 4H-ers and master gardeners. Hope for the future.
Lighter, lovelies!
Barbara, the Southern Oregon Coastie AHMOD
July: leaner/stronger/kinder than June.2021: choose to be leaner/stronger/kinder NOW
daily: sit with Joe:1 , weigh/wii: 1/0/0; steps>6704=8864, vits=1, log=1, CI<CO=1, CI<250<CO=0, Tumble=1, Shadow=1, mfp=1, outside=1, up hill=1, clean 10=0.
wkly: Sun: Mon: Tue:LD=. Wed:TC=, PW=. Thurs: Fri:TC=. Sat:PW=. rX x4=.
wt=1/31:141.3 2/28:142.4 3/31:145.3 4/30:141.5 5/31:142.4 6/30:141.5 7/31:140.2!!! 8/1:141.3 :P
mnthly: board mtg=, grant=, plan=, waist=42.0
bonus: AF=0 play= sew=
3 -
Barely slept last night. Totally out of sync. only slept a bit, less than 2h as day was breaking.
Good things done yesterday
Swim
Walk a good hour
Helped out a friend going to hospital, by giving contacting a dr friend and giving him some info - offered to visit but he was only in for morning.
Interesting phone conversation in evening
Eating okay.
Tried contacting old classmate again yesterday. no answer all day and then he called back but I didn't hear it as I was in the street. now he's going away for 3 weeks.
Friends' bicycle accident
A friend was away in another country and broke his collarbone while bicycling. His teen son did a short stop in front of him and cut him off - it sounds like it was kind of like a game - and my friend stopped and flew through the air and landed on his collar bone, broken in 3 places. He had to fly home, go the hospital. He hadn't thought to google "best hospital broken collar bone". in France hospitals are regularly ranked for different areas. (shoulders, bloodwork, etc, etc) so I think number 6 or 7 in the country in that area is local - but across town so he went there yesterday morning and has an appointment to come in fasting on Thursday.
Between that and my sister who had a very serious bike accident last week, biking seems dangerous.
I'm feeling ankle- height motivation.
TodayGonna go to café for my ritual, morning café.
Work on writing and plan and limiting corpus.
Got to walk to get gas for my scooter, which is out of gas. That rarely happens. It is parked and seems to be totally out of gas (unless it's electric but I don't think so). The tank is very small, so it happens often that its cut close. I have ridden very little lately and it's been ages since I filled the tank.
In the afternoon I have a library appointment, with books finally reserved, thank goodness.
maybe meet a friend in evening for a coffee, but so tired, so not sure.
I need to do some housecleaning and paperwork, but napping may be a priority if I'm able to sleep some to make up for "lost time".
Clothes acquisitions hereI had bought a dress like this a month ago so bought 2 more in different colours. with a sweater shirt or jacket tie pretty covering.
And I got 3 cardigans in 3 colours, navy blue, bordeaux/plum, and dark gray. I have zero cardigans and it's much needed.
I tried on a few things very quickly and then lost energy and wanted to leave, so got 3 of each cut, (the cardigan and the dress) plus some socks and some simple coton black undies and a simple gray cotton camisole.
I am so not into shopping these past years.
Largely due to the superficiality of it, the consumerism and general trend to reduced consumerism, COVID making it almost impossible to try on clothes for past 1.5 years, but also increase of a few k, mostly around the middle makes it harder to enjoy trying on clothes!
GratefulPool
Nice conversation yesterday
Dancing Saturday
food shops across the street
very quiet here in summer
Challenges
motivation in :writing
paperwork
cleaning, tidying
tracking
exercise (this latter is better than the rest)
everyone is away now, more or less.
I stayed home to write since it's so quiet.
but it's a little lonely and I'm lacking nature.
I know some of you love being on your own and others of you not at all.
My colleague the other day said he would not like to live alone at all. he met his spouse- then neighbour as a teen and they have been together for 4 decades. Its not really a choice to live alone but that's how the cookie crumbles. when I 1st came here at 25, flatmates was pretty rare indeed. there were countless tiny studios and people preferred the privacy of their own tiny place to sharing. Many people still do, though sharing has become far more common now for those in their 20s. then as people get older they tend to prefer their own place as is often the case in the usa (though I guess even older it's not hyper-rare to have flatmates for long term single people who have a penchant for community.
maybe that is making me sad. seeing people in their 30 or 40 years of a whole life together shared and that is so far from my experience. I know it is not rosy for all. some have divorces and hard ones, difficult spouses and estranged or rather estranged children with major health issues and lost loved ones, but nonetheless that is part of my thought - and not unusual at this time of year when everyone goes away. usually I do to, but I'm aware of being alone. sometimes its fine and really nice and at times it feels lonely or a bit boring...
when travelling I tend to eat out for lunch more than dinner as it feels less lonely and more friendly; I only like to get one meal out per day when travelling.
after my minor skin operation on thursday I may go away rather soon after that if it's not too complicated health wise.
I know some of you may say in one way or another to "look on the bright side" relative to others who have it worse, and of course you are right, but it also seems fair to talk about both ups and downs, or otherwise said" good things and challenges", and not talk only about the ups (à la social media), which would give a rather 1 dimensional and artificial vision.
8 -
Dragging getting going today after sleepless night but I'm just gonna get to it. I need courage and energy vibes for sure.2
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"Get to do"s and "chose well"sChose well: BP, typed hymns, dogs to powerline, spicy pecans for Re’s birthday, dog group, strain and season goat cheese,
Bonus: walked in place to highest point in Sacto county and half way to 49 palms oasis. Thank you walkfit on YouTube!
Get to do: take BP, dogs to powerline, church, fellowship help, figure out how to see what’s using all our mobile data, USE those torture bands/do that BB&B video, call S, Monday: call Cigna to change monthly summary from large to regular print, fire district: research NFPA, grant NIMS requirements, ongoing: input 2019 call sheets into NFIRS, work with chief on equipment letter, substance abuse policy, NFIRS mutual aid and other missing details, likewise Lee skills/tasks, ask for boots donator contact info, appreciation letter or certificate to boots donator, index mutual aid files; watch STAS Day 20, declutter sideboard, learn new dances (Tequila Little Time, Homesick, Nothing but You, A Little Less Broken, Blame it on my beating heart,; Do Your Thing, practice dances: One Margarita, I’m so used to being broke, All Night, Pure Movies to Wine, Beer, Whiskey, I ain’t never gonna love nobody but Cornell Crawford (Alley cat),); finish mulching flowerbed, invest another 10 minutes in prepping living trust, Freddie’s for complete series TDAP <$48, get Shingrix vaccine, find and configure a screen time popup, figure out where to plant the last of the naked lady bulbs, and soon as it warms up above 50 and dries out below 60% humidity I’ll tape and spray paint those rusted areas of Aunt Elsie’s stove, ask Terry about GB’s FD firetruck tax levy – contacts, media, advocate???, Reward: inventory seeds, plan this fall’s garden, wishlist replenishments (Milena F1 orange peppers and beit alpha cukes next year).
August
1:Set an intention to be kind to others (and yourself) this month-and re-set as often as needed
July Summary and August PlanMore improvements than not, even if some were tiny.
Cleaning commitment still needs work. Why is it so easy to waste 10 mins playing FreeCell and Spider and so hard to stand up and dust for 10 mins?
Tumble time improved but Shadow’s fell back to last month’s level.
Barely managed to maintain/improve steps, average crept up to 6704 from 6701.
AF days improved back to May’s levels.
Joe time, vits, CI<CO days all way better.
Weigiht down microscopically to lowest so far this year, I’ll take it!.
July results:
daily: sit with Joe: 106%/93%, steps=average: 6705 vs 6701 step days:61%/57%, vits=92%/80% log=100%/100% CI<CO= 84%/93% CI<250<CO=90%73% Tumble 5/10=71%/47% Shadow 5/10=60%/71% mfp=97%/77% AF=71%/53% outside= 129%/117%, up hill=110%/83% cleaning61%/200%
wkly: BBBorTC x3=100%/78%, dance=75%/80% walk with T or Joe and the dogs or pack walk x2=89%/78%, rx=100%/120% review progress on 21 goals: bupkes/.
monthly: board mtg=100%/100% grant=2/0
July 31: 140.2 June 30: 141.5 May 31:142.4 Apr 30:141.5 Mar 31:145.3 Feb 28:142.4 Jan 31:141.3 Jan 1:145.3 Dec 1:143.3 Jan 1 2020: 142.3
Waist: 42.0/42.0 thank goodness.
August resolve- .
Commit to daily: 10 mins cleaning before solitaire, be really present with Joe, get those dogs down to the powerline without fail. Link to other daily habits.
Weekly: Tuesday 2 hr line dance. Wed 1 hr T’ai Chi & 1 hr pack walk. Fri: 1 hr T’ai Chi. Mon,Thurs, Sun: 15 mins BB&B, pilates, yoga or wii balance games. Sat: 1 hr pack walk.
Keep walking with T, D & R. Encourage Joe to walk.
Wow. August already. Thank you Barbie for your unfailing presence! “… but the seeds that you plant”
Lisa would you share some first/second sleep resources? Might describe the pattern I fell into at retirement
Terri
your solid habits. I’m with you on 1-3 and growing toward the steps and active hours. “tinyhabits” hmm.
Rebecca you’ve given me canner’s pantry envy. :laugh:
Rita thanks. Those mesquite pods look a lot like my bolted mustards' and arugula seed pods, though bigger. Remind me how you’ll use them?
Margaret :`( for the smoke and the stings. Rotten combination.
Pip Yogi is lucky you take such good care of him. Dental care and special diets can be life-enhancing as well as life-extending.
Sharon what a stunner. While what family attachment I felt was with my adoptive family, I feel kindly toward my bio family, though we are not close. Could it be some facebook related thing? Might you and your daughters have different views that he doesn’t want to see on his feed? (((hugs held extra long)))
Kim, Karen, Julie your insights into Sharon’s son’s message are most perceptive. I would never have searched for my bio family until both Mama and Papa had died. It would have hurt them too much.
Julie :`( and hugs for difficult times with your mother. If it were me, I’d provide my old school with an individual “interview” blurb and suggest the ex-classmate do the same.
Sleepy again at last.
Lighter, lovelies!Barbara, the Southern Oregon Coastie AHMOD
July: leaner/stronger/kinder than June.2021: choose to be leaner/stronger/kinder NOW
daily: sit with Joe: 33, weigh/wii: 30/0/0; steps>6701=10150 vits=28.5, log=31, CI<CO=28, CI<250<CO=27, Tumble=22, Shadow=26, mfp=30, outside=40, up hill=34, clean 10=19.
wkly: Sun: Mon: Tue:LD=. Wed:TC=3, PW=2. Thurs: Fri:TC=5. Sat:PW=5. rX x5=4.
wt=1/31:141.3 2/28:142.4 3/31:145.3 4/30:141.5 5/31:142.4 6/30:141.5 7/4: 140.7 7/11: 142.9 grr! 7/18: 141.8
7/25: 140.4 7/31:140.2!!!
mnthly: board mtg=1, grant=, 21 plan=, waist=42.0
bonus: AF=22 play= sew=
Barbara, thanks for the hugs and input. I will likely do that about the blurb.
2 -
Our son and daughter in law are expecting a new baby in the fall. They have asked us to come and stay with them for a while so that we can take care of our grandson while they are at the hospital for the birth. We will help around he house while DDIL recovers from having the baby. We are happy to help. I have been knitting a baby blanket for the new little one and have had to start over twice due to my own mistakes. :grumble: Luckily, I have several months to get the knitting done.
Katla in NW Oregon
8 -
PREVISIONAL GOALS FOR AUGUST
Define written corpus
produce 2 chapters
Get away for at least a couple of "weekends" (can be midweeks to have less people more availability and better prices)
Meet friends at least 1x a week2 -
trucker743 wrote: »Kim, Karen, Julie and Barbara, if you might recall Bob and I rediscovered one another way back in 2019. We had many phone conversations about getting together before Covid hit. We communicated about my past, his past and all of that well before this visit. His parents are both deceased.
We ARE, in fact, quite different. He is a worship leader at his church. I in fact offered to attend church with him on the Sunday I was there. They never called me back on that one and that was fine.
I get what you’re saying about projection. I’ve done that myself in the past about other relationships. Frankly, I’m somewhat inclined to the relative thought. While his wife has been attentive and gracious I sensed a coolness after our first two meetings. I honestly wouldn’t have gone for nearly a week had I not known there would be a couple of full day breaks in our six days’ time. He was not on vacation, so other than meeting the first night our time was Friday evening, Saturday day and evening and Sunday afternoon. He and I alone met for a quick Monday dinner before I left on Tuesday. His blocking and un friending me left me no chance to reply. The girls feel somewhat cheated that they didn’t get to meet him, but have said “oh well”! I just keep picking my jaw off the floor. I may never have an answer but “We’ll always have Columbus.” to paraphrase Casablanca rather prosaically.
Sharon Near Seattle
Hello Sharon,Thank you for reminding us of the story. I didn't remember the whole story from 2019, as I am sometimes off and on the boards according to how work is going (sometimes I get snowed under- not ideal but that is how it is), and I hadn't seen your posts for quite a while lately. Since you visited I thought you had his postal address but I guess that is not the case. you only have Facebook or social media address? That is more hard and upsetting. His spouse or someone could be concerned that there be financial repercussions. For example if he is comfortable financially he could be concerned about possible "filial obligations" in terms of health or other care - or sense of pressure if there is a later financial need. That reason seems as likely as any if everything seemed to go well at the time but there has been a sudden cooling off since.
good things done yesterdayWent to the pool
Got some long sleeved clothes and long dresses
Walked some
Had a rather interesting conversation
gratefulmild weather
quiet in summer
health care
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Barbie Thank you for August!
Cool morning here. DH decided at last moment not to ho to KY. Went to dinner with friends Saturday night, then worked on YD's cross stitch. Next Monday is their anniversary, I need to complete this project. Yesterday I did 7 hours of paperwork for work and helped in the yard. We are finally done with concrete!!!! Transplanted more flowers, cleaned up flower beds, washed deck and furniture. Oh, took down heart shaped railing from porch. Will post pics later. So relaxing out here.
Gotta get in shower.
TTYL,
❤
Kylia in Ohio2 -
hello it's 1pm, now the nearly sleepless night (less than 2h) is kicking in. feeling like a zombie. just cancelled library appointment for today.3
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A character in a book I read awhile ago asked a friend, "what's it like to live alone?" and the friend said, "you get more work done". That was my experience yesterday with Jake gone. I did quite a few chores that I have been putting off for a long time along with watching a lot of the Olympics and getting to bed early. My one concern about him being gone was whether he would hear the alarm he set to get up this morning since he has to catch an early ferry. He sleeps with ear plugs and I was afraid that the music wouldn't be enough. I was very relieved to find a text from him on my phone when I got back from walking the dogs just before 5, The rest of the day, he can handle very easily. Barbie in NW WA 6 -
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My husband wrecked my truck this morning! He backed into a pole. Yes, he was in our driveway. Pole okay. Husband okay. Truck not so much. Damage to backup sensors, bumper, and tailgate. 😭11
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Morning ladies
Im watching Touched by an Angel.. and will go pick up Homer at 10 ,i need to get my butt in gear and really start getting things picked up and cleaned up here.. im hoping with a few more nights with the Cpap ill feel i have enough stamina to get some things done..4 -
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Hello Ladies! 😊
First day on app. Trying to figure out how this baby ticks. Wishing you all a fabulous day! 🥰🦋6 -
My latest creation!
Crocheting is such a stress reliever for me. I learned in high school and never stopped! This one and several others will go to Project Linus.
Cheri
College Station TX
16 -
Fabulous crochet Cheri.
Very happy today and proud of myself for finally losing another pound!
It's taken me a month of hard work to lose two pounds. But I am DELIGHTED.
Love Heather UK xxxxxxxx10 -
@kizanne2 , I am a former high school math teacher and content coach.
Sharon, hugs! Adoption relationships can be complicated, I can’t imagine all the feelings from both sides. I just met a young relative in my family who just recently discovered she was related to us. Biological father already dead (never knew she existed), biological grandmother refuses to meet her. Half sibling, great-aunt, and several cousins helping as much as we can to fill her in on medical history. My mother and her biological grandmother are double first cousins.
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Jjjjj1
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Cheri lovely crochet. wow!
Heather, congratulations for the SV! (scale victory)2 -
Well hot diggity dog-
The Cpap must be working because I had the stamina to go and hoe out all the junk in my car.. its not perfect ,but alot better than it was..
The cottage if I must have told you is over 100 yrs old and not insulated ,so when its hot up there its hot and when its cold its cold.. although it can be chilly at the cottage and you go uptown or down to the beach and your roasting.. so you have to pack for all occasions up there..
Now my SIL has a beautiful place up at Lake Winnipesaukee on a cove and I love it up there ,and they have a boat and its a blast to go up ans swim there and I think Taliah would love to go for a boat ride with Uncle Sean or Jean and go swimming in the lake and they have an old country store that is really neat... but Jean hasnt offered and I dont really feel like asking , she isnt the type to really share what she has with people..I love it there though
Oh well..
Cant dwell on that...the boys are snuggled up next to each other snoozing and are just so cute...5 -
My latest creation!
Crocheting is such a stress reliever for me. I learned in high school and never stopped! This one and several others will go to Project Linus.
Cheri
College Station TX
that is AMAZING!!!
I have tried to crochet a few times. last project was a baby blanket. Got most of it done but when it came to doing the border, I got frustrated and put it away. The baby that it was for is now 38yrs old!! Maybe one day I will try and crochet again
I learned to sew if 4th grade and that is something I still love to do. If I can loose these last 18 lbs, I will start sewing for myself a lot more. I did make my skirt for dad's service but shocked at the size pattern I had to use.
Debbie
Napa Valley,CA5 -
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bananasandoranges wrote: »Dragging getting going today after sleepless night but I'm just gonna get to it. I need courage and energy vibes for sure.
You've got a lot going on. Sending you courage and energy vibes.
Flea
Willamette Valley, OR2 -
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