At Goal & Successfully Maintaining. So Why Am I Doing This All Over Again?
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I find it fascinating that your husband is learning so quickly. I told my husband in February that he needed to be getting some physical activity, because I don't want him to die. He did start riding our stationary bike and now he rides it for an hour almost every day. I'm really proud of him! His diet is a different thing. His meals are healthier and fewer cals than we used to eat. Unfortunately, he snacks on chips after I go to bed at night. He's learned how to use the food scale, because he measures food for me sometimes. The other night he said he weighed his chips before he ate them. That's progress, but it sure is slow progress!
I know exactly what you mean. You reach a certain age and realize what a precious but limited resource they are and you get all maudlin.
That, and some of your friends are on Tinder or Match and you think to yourself,”ugh…..I think I’ll see if I can eke the known quantity out a few years longer”. 😇
I have hopes for Mr. Spring. He’s typically averages about 3-4,000 steps a day, but crowed to me yesterday that he’d gotten 17,000 three days in a row preparing our local 9/11 commemorative event. I think he’s eyeing increasing his steps on a regular basis, after realizing he wasn’t moving as much as he thought. It’ll be interesting to see if rode the golf cart giving tours today or elected to walk. 🤞🏻
Field of Flags event. A flag for each victim of 9/11. The procession was beautiful to behold. Flags will be up at Kennesaw Mountain National Battlefield Park through 9-17.21 -
That picture is so beautiful!!5
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Not sure I’d call it beautiful. Poignant, definitely, but beautiful? Each of those flags represents a life lost in the name of terrorism.
That’s not beauty.4 -
I still think visually that a sea of flags is beautiful, even though I agree the reason for this sea of flags is not.18
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BL always eats his salad first, which makes me nuts. Why eat a cold dish while your hot food cools?
But lately we’ve started eating our salads while the rest finishes up cooking. Guess what?! Having that salad first fills me up before the main course is served.
Sheer genius.
Sometimes rethinking ingrained habits is really effective.
BTW, our little salads are awesome, nutritious, quick to make and hardly any calories. Nothing elaborate. Half a bag of mixed greens and three ounces of cherry tomatoes, with some Walden Farms Honey Dijon dressing. A healthy sized , filling side dish for about 30 calories.
I am muchly amused by BL reading the packaging and marveling at all the vitamins in mixed greens.
Suddenly, my annoying salads are AOK.19 -
BL drove downtown yesterday to meet some relatives who were passing through town, for lunch. They selected a famous local landmark, renowned for delicious but extraordinarily greasy food. We’re talking, their claim to fame is serving food literally dripping with grease.
He carefully studied the menu before he left the house, and chose a plain hotdog and onion rings, remembering that the CookOut chain’s rings are pretty reasonable calories. Once he got there though, he quickly realized these rings were three or four times the calories and quickly changed plans.
He came home and proudly announced he’d had two “naked dogs walking” and a Diet Coke, for under 500 calories.
He flirted with the idea of chili dogs, but was miffed that “that would have doubled the calories”. He was surprised it’d be so easy to burn through his calories with a few tablespoons of their chili (probably because their chili is also famously greasy.)
Points for temptation avoidance and preplanning chutzpah!!!!
BTW, he worked almost next door to this famous venue for many decades, so I know this took a particular kind of manly willpower.
(Disclaimer: Photo stolen randomly from the internet and is not representative of his calorie consumption. 😇)11 -
Cookout onion rings are my favorite things, ever, because they're so relatively low calorie and still give me fried foods.
...I used to like hotdogs. Then decided I didn't like them enough for the calories. I just tend to find whatever the jr burger is in most places and throw on lettuce and tomato and am much happier.
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That is an amazing turn around for him. Kudos to his extraordinary dedication to his mission! Sir, we salute you!
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springlering62 wrote: »BL logged an hour fitness class using the MFP “add exercise” function. MFP calculated 794 calories burned. Huh?!
Adding a Tai Chi class was good for 450+.
No way, Jose. I’ve done that class with him many times and I can’t see it.
I think this explains some of the puzzlingly super high calorie burns reported by some of my MFP friends on their automated feeds.
MFP is set up for you to eat your exercise calories back. Many users buffer reporting errors by eating half of them. But if your exercise calories are wonky, you can see the problem.
If you feel like you’ve plateaued or aren’t losing fast enough, take a look at your calorie burns and ask here on the forums or one of your trusted, more experienced “friends” if the calorie burn looks accurate. You can PM any linked friend if you’re too shy to ask publicly. The other users here are so good about answering and sharing.
Better yet, invest in a fitness tracker. There’s tons out there at all price points, or you can buy used ones off Marketplace, etc. Borrow one from a friend or family member and give it a test run.
It’s pretty easy to connect and sync a tracker with MFP and let technology do the work* for you.
We are waiting for the Apple Watch 7 launch in a couple weeks to see how we’ll add to and shuffle our trackers. (Holding our breath to to see if the rumored sugar monitoring will finally be a reality.)
BL has pooh-pooh’ed the value of a tracker until now (he’s silently muttered “obsessive” under his breath at me more than once). Now he “gets” the value of accurately recording his calories.
(*some trackers require a break-in period to sorta learn your metabolism and habits before they become as potentially accurate as they may be. That’s my simple explanation.
Oh, and you’ll also discover trackers generally report far fewer calories than the calculators built into gym equipment. My own watch records 1/3 fewer calories burned than the treadmill at my gym, even when I do take the time to enter my age and weight prior to starting a session. My watch even calculates about 20% less than my own home stationary bike, which has been exclusively used by me.)
Yes, when I used the entry "Weight training, free weights" I was puzzled about the numerous posts that said lifting weights didn't burn many calories, because I sure got a lot from that entry. I asked about it, and switched to "Strength training (weight lifting, weight training)" which earns about 60% of the calories
I garden a lot and "Gardening, general" gives a hefty amount of calories, but I only use it if I've been doing heavy work like digging with a shovel. I use two other custom entries for lighter gardening.4 -
kshama2001 wrote: »springlering62 wrote: »BL logged an hour fitness class using the MFP “add exercise” function. MFP calculated 794 calories burned. Huh?!
Adding a Tai Chi class was good for 450+.
No way, Jose. I’ve done that class with him many times and I can’t see it.
I think this explains some of the puzzlingly super high calorie burns reported by some of my MFP friends on their automated feeds.
MFP is set up for you to eat your exercise calories back. Many users buffer reporting errors by eating half of them. But if your exercise calories are wonky, you can see the problem.
If you feel like you’ve plateaued or aren’t losing fast enough, take a look at your calorie burns and ask here on the forums or one of your trusted, more experienced “friends” if the calorie burn looks accurate. You can PM any linked friend if you’re too shy to ask publicly. The other users here are so good about answering and sharing.
Better yet, invest in a fitness tracker. There’s tons out there at all price points, or you can buy used ones off Marketplace, etc. Borrow one from a friend or family member and give it a test run.
It’s pretty easy to connect and sync a tracker with MFP and let technology do the work* for you.
We are waiting for the Apple Watch 7 launch in a couple weeks to see how we’ll add to and shuffle our trackers. (Holding our breath to to see if the rumored sugar monitoring will finally be a reality.)
BL has pooh-pooh’ed the value of a tracker until now (he’s silently muttered “obsessive” under his breath at me more than once). Now he “gets” the value of accurately recording his calories.
(*some trackers require a break-in period to sorta learn your metabolism and habits before they become as potentially accurate as they may be. That’s my simple explanation.
Oh, and you’ll also discover trackers generally report far fewer calories than the calculators built into gym equipment. My own watch records 1/3 fewer calories burned than the treadmill at my gym, even when I do take the time to enter my age and weight prior to starting a session. My watch even calculates about 20% less than my own home stationary bike, which has been exclusively used by me.)
Yes, when I used the entry "Weight training, free weights" I was puzzled about the numerous posts that said lifting weights didn't burn many calories, because I sure got a lot from that entry. I asked about it, and switched to "Strength training (weight lifting, weight training)" which earns about 60% of the calories
I garden a lot and "Gardening, general" gives a hefty amount of calories, but I only use it if I've been doing heavy work like digging with a shovel. I use two other custom entries for lighter gardening.
Oh god, the calorie estimate burns on 'hiking - cross country' and 'hiking - < 10lbs pack ' are INSANE. If I'm doing a lot of elevation changes and really rough terrain, okay, I'll take them but I probably did not in fact earn twice (or more!) the calories of walking at a similar pace, walking in the woods for an hour with some minor elevation changes and avoiding roots and rocks.1 -
springlering62 wrote: »But he’s already reached the “thinking about it” stage, and that’s awesome.callsitlikeiseeit wrote: »that usually comes right before the 'pre logging' stage.
but you and i know that
I bet he comes around to it
LOL
I'd definitely encourage people new to MFP to pre-log at least initially.
I find pre-logging new meals very helpful. So for me, that's usually just dinner, as my breakfasts and lunches are pretty standard. I also do it if I want to work in calorie dense foods like peanut butter or ice cream.
I also pre-logged for a time when I was trying to increase protein. Currently I'm focusing on decreasing fat and saturated fat and increasing fiber. I got the fiber part under control right away, but pre-logging is still useful for the fats, especially if I also want peanut butter.2 -
springlering62 wrote: »BL drove downtown yesterday to meet some relatives who were passing through town, for lunch. They selected a famous local landmark, renowned for delicious but extraordinarily greasy food. We’re talking, their claim to fame is serving food literally dripping with grease.
He carefully studied the menu before he left the house, and chose a plain hotdog and onion rings, remembering that the CookOut chain’s rings are pretty reasonable calories. Once he got there though, he quickly realized these rings were three or four times the calories and quickly changed plans.
He came home and proudly announced he’d had two “naked dogs walking” and a Diet Coke, for under 500 calories.
He flirted with the idea of chili dogs, but was miffed that “that would have doubled the calories”. He was surprised it’d be so easy to burn through his calories with a few tablespoons of their chili (probably because their chili is also famously greasy.)
Points for temptation avoidance and preplanning chutzpah!!!!
BTW, he worked almost next door to this famous venue for many decades, so I know this took a particular kind of manly willpower.
(Disclaimer: Photo stolen randomly from the internet and is not representative of his calorie consumption. 😇)
all i know is that i now want a chili dog with coleslaw.
as you know, i certainly need to eat the calories. however, i do not have ANY of these things in my house.
however, by lunch tomorrow, that will change. I will make sure that changes. LMAOOOOOOOOO7 -
So a brief “me” diversion today, since a lot of posters have mentioned they’re also helping spouses along.
I’m wondering if anyone else has experienced this?
An unintentional effect of helping BL with his plan is that I seem to be shrinking. Weight holding fairly steady, but legs and arms in particular are getting pipe-cleaner’ish again, which in turn, makes my belly look huge by comparison, even though the loosening waistbands should (obviously) tell me otherwise.
I’m also binging, and hungry all the time. I have not experienced hunger at all during my whole weight loss, so this is new to me.
This has unexpectedly thrown me into the same self critical place I was in early in my own weight loss. Ewww, I don’t like this about my body, I don’t like that.
I’ve got to nip this in the bud.
I think….and I have to give this more time to confirm…..I’m falling into a habit of eating less around him so I don’t tempt him (I get hundreds of more calories than he does because I’m always in motion, while he’s pretty sedentary.)
Sometimes I end up below my own goals.
That’s maybe making me hungrier at other times, and leads to behavior like grabbing the party size 28-serving bag of tortilla chips and polishing off a good bit of the bag, or grabbing tons of “small” snacks til I suddenly realize I’ve had hundreds of calories of them. (BTW- don’t buy party sized bags of tortilla chips if you have a weakness for them. Just sayin’.)
I’ve also added in a few extra walks on evenings when he’s asked for one, bumping up my activity even higher.
I’m even bustling around more, cooking additional breakfast and making more snacks than in the past, with the requisite cleanups.
So I’m bumping my calories up a bit for a while to see if that helps (or if it piles on weight), trying to reach a single goal every day versus up and down, and trying to be more mindful of having heavier snacks when he’s not in the house, or during TV Time (when he’s banned to the downstairs TV for those endless war movies and documentaries he fancies.)
I’m very, very set in my habits- which has helped me lose my weight- so changing my usual snack schedule is….unsettling and very uncomfortable.
The temporary takeaway is, helping your spouse may help you lose more weight/size/patience with yourself?
YMMV, of course.
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My husband and I started at the same time. I MIGHT have 5lbs I can afford to lose. MAYBE. He has a good 30 left to goal/top end of his goal.
My weight loss should slow down now - way down - but because he still is working hard at it, I find myself still losing at about the same rate as always. Because I have some weird hang-up and feeling somehow guilty about not doing what he's doing.
I'm not extra hungry and I'm not binging, but I AM STILL LOSING FIVE POUNDS A MONTH and my BMI is < 22. That is not ideal for me right now. No clue what the solution is beyond what I've been trying to do which is consciously separate myself from his tracking/exercise/loss. I need to leave him to it and do my own thing. I just have to CONSCIOUSLY remind myself of that.
And, in full fairness, my activity level right now is through the roof due to life and I'm still trying to work out how to eat to fuel that appropriately. I am adding calories and not coming in under I just have to remind myself a LOT.9 -
wunderkindking wrote: »My husband and I started at the same time. I MIGHT have 5lbs I can afford to lose. MAYBE. He has a good 30 left to goal/top end of his goal.
My weight loss should slow down now - way down - but because he still is working hard at it, I find myself still losing at about the same rate as always. Because I have some weird hang-up and feeling somehow guilty about not doing what he's doing.
I'm not extra hungry and I'm not binging, but I AM STILL LOSING FIVE POUNDS A MONTH and my BMI is < 22. That is not ideal for me right now. No clue what the solution is beyond what I've been trying to do which is consciously separate myself from his tracking/exercise/loss. I need to leave him to it and do my own thing. I just have to CONSCIOUSLY remind myself of that.
And, in full fairness, my activity level right now is through the roof due to life and I'm still trying to work out how to eat to fuel that appropriately. I am adding calories and not coming in under I just have to remind myself a LOT.
Thank you for this. TBH, I thought I was a little crazy saying it out loud. It’s very comforting to hear someone else say it.6 -
springlering62 wrote: »wunderkindking wrote: »My husband and I started at the same time. I MIGHT have 5lbs I can afford to lose. MAYBE. He has a good 30 left to goal/top end of his goal.
My weight loss should slow down now - way down - but because he still is working hard at it, I find myself still losing at about the same rate as always. Because I have some weird hang-up and feeling somehow guilty about not doing what he's doing.
I'm not extra hungry and I'm not binging, but I AM STILL LOSING FIVE POUNDS A MONTH and my BMI is < 22. That is not ideal for me right now. No clue what the solution is beyond what I've been trying to do which is consciously separate myself from his tracking/exercise/loss. I need to leave him to it and do my own thing. I just have to CONSCIOUSLY remind myself of that.
And, in full fairness, my activity level right now is through the roof due to life and I'm still trying to work out how to eat to fuel that appropriately. I am adding calories and not coming in under I just have to remind myself a LOT.
Thank you for this. TBH, I thought I was a little crazy saying it out loud. It’s very comforting to hear someone else say it.
Honestly, it can happen even without the spousal influence thing you & Wunder have going on. For sure, that would make it more likely. But there are times when it's important to eat more *for health*, bizarre as that seems given some of our former lifestyles, even if it's treat foods (once nutrition is dialed in, is something I try to hold myself to for anything truly caloric and not very nutritious, don't always succeed).
Keep in mind that while of course undereating can trigger cravings/appetite/hunger, there are some suggestions that excessive leanness (too low bodyfat for one's particular case) can also trigger cravings/appetite/hunger . . . just eating more may not immediately nip that problem, it may take a little healthy regain. (You've been at this for a while, so you'd know, but I find I seem to get more cravings as the days shorten and get cooler in the Fall!)
Absolutely, that body image self-criticism can be a slippery slope. There's a space between having improvement goals growing out of self-valuing and heading toward self-actualization, and getting in a habit of letting critique become habitual so feeling deficient which can head in unproductive directions.
I want to pick out one sentence in your PP, or more like half a sentence:springlering62 wrote: »So I’m bumping my calories up a bit for a while to see if that helps (or if it piles on weight),
I'm sure you wrote this off the cuff, but the bolded phrases jumped out at me. You *know* it can't. That's the ghost of lifestyles and mindsets past, it seems to me, popping up there for a second. Nowadays, you have challenges eating enough, avoiding too-low weight. There are ways any of us can revert to former less productive life stages , but bumping up intake sensibly, in a controlled way, monitoring results - that's not going to cause you to revert.
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springlering62 wrote: »wunderkindking wrote: »My husband and I started at the same time. I MIGHT have 5lbs I can afford to lose. MAYBE. He has a good 30 left to goal/top end of his goal.
My weight loss should slow down now - way down - but because he still is working hard at it, I find myself still losing at about the same rate as always. Because I have some weird hang-up and feeling somehow guilty about not doing what he's doing.
I'm not extra hungry and I'm not binging, but I AM STILL LOSING FIVE POUNDS A MONTH and my BMI is < 22. That is not ideal for me right now. No clue what the solution is beyond what I've been trying to do which is consciously separate myself from his tracking/exercise/loss. I need to leave him to it and do my own thing. I just have to CONSCIOUSLY remind myself of that.
And, in full fairness, my activity level right now is through the roof due to life and I'm still trying to work out how to eat to fuel that appropriately. I am adding calories and not coming in under I just have to remind myself a LOT.
Thank you for this. TBH, I thought I was a little crazy saying it out loud. It’s very comforting to hear someone else say it.
Honestly, it can happen even without the spousal influence thing you & Wunder have going on. For sure, that would make it more likely. But there are times when it's important to eat more *for health*, bizarre as that seems given some of our former lifestyles, even if it's treat foods (once nutrition is dialed in, is something I try to hold myself to for anything truly caloric and not very nutritious, don't always succeed).
Keep in mind that while of course undereating can trigger cravings/appetite/hunger, there are some suggestions that excessive leanness (too low bodyfat for one's particular case) can also trigger cravings/appetite/hunger . . . just eating more may not immediately nip that problem, it may take a little healthy regain. (You've been at this for a while, so you'd know, but I find I seem to get more cravings as the days shorten and get cooler in the Fall!)
Absolutely, that body image self-criticism can be a slippery slope. There's a space between having improvement goals growing out of self-valuing and heading toward self-actualization, and getting in a habit of letting critique become habitual so feeling deficient which can head in unproductive directions.
I want to pick out one sentence in your PP, or more like half a sentence:springlering62 wrote: »So I’m bumping my calories up a bit for a while to see if that helps (or if it piles on weight),
I'm sure you wrote this off the cuff, but the bolded phrases jumped out at me. You *know* it can't. That's the ghost of lifestyles and mindsets past, it seems to me, popping up there for a second. Nowadays, you have challenges eating enough, avoiding too-low weight. There are ways any of us can revert to former less productive life stages , but bumping up intake sensibly, in a controlled way, monitoring results - that's not going to cause you to revert.
Ghosts of lifestyles past are a strong influence on the me of present. I am determined not to put weight back on again.
It’s very, very difficult to acknowledge changes are necessary when you’ve been settled in your happy place for many months, even if it’s changes that should be delightful, like adding a couple pounds or increasing calories. It’s a total mind kitten. I already did an intentional gain at the beginning of the year and I won’t lie, it’s hard to accept.
To paraphrase you, I will never have challenges eating enough. I could sit down at any given moment and easily waste a whole package of pretty much anything. I know it will be like that the rest of my life and that’s why I’m so mindful.8 -
I think in some ways I'm not quite in the same place.
I haven't exactly even hit maintenance, much less maintained for months or years, but I have been very serious about not being very serious and I definitely had my foot off the gas, metaphorically speaking and was just fine on cruise control.
My husband still needing to lose and realizing that he's still very much going relatively hard (healthily but mindfully and with effort) sort of made me redirect my focus back toward some of my early strategizing and critical thinking about food and what's worth calories and what lower calorie options are and oh, hey, I can reduce the calories in this meal by doing X, Y, or Z.
And those things no longer serve me.
I'm not afraid of regain - like at all. However, this is partially because I am acutely aware that in spite of being obese most of my adult life I have a VERY uptight, obsessive, perfectionist type of personality and "if you're not overdoing it, you might as well not do it at all" sort of thing.
And I cannot go there. I cannot. Being underweight is no more healthy than being overweight. So I'm also having to go back to "Nope, this isn't a race, this isn't a contest, this isn't a hobby, and his weight loss is not my circus" and making the broccoli to go with dinner but eating my whole serving of mashed potatoes even if he opts for the half plate of broccoli and no potatoes.
(Also in play for me: My TDEE is actually higher than his, in spite of a 9" difference. He works at a desk. My day job is a desk but I also do a lot more movement in the dog training gig and with my own dogs. )
In any case it's all down to 'gotta fight the mental demons and do what you KNOW jis the right thing for your physical health)14 -
A heavy milk drinker, BL’s begun weighing milk as well. (Yes, I know you can’t “weigh” a liquid, but imho in small quantities like a cup or two, there’s so little difference that it’s reasonably accurate anyway, especially compared to topping off a tall glass once or twice during breakfast.)
Realizing how much of his calorie budget he’s using for milk, he’s now cutting back, preferring to spend those calories elsewhere.
I’ve been using Silk plain cashew milk (25gr/cup) as a milk substitute whenever possible. It’s great in coffee and chai, very good in iced coffee, works fine in pancakes, biscuits.
I had some friends over last night. They saw all the cartons in the fridge and asked for a taste test. They were really surprised. Most liked it better than almond milk and “mini moos “ (whatever those are).
BL is not prepared to drink straight cashew milk yet, though.8 -
BL is down some more at this morning’s weigh in!
He just received a very nice reenactment jacket in the mail yesterday. I’m eyeballing him trying it on and thinking of the closet full of rather expensive XXXL reenactment gear. I have a feeling we’re gonna need to develop a great relationship with a good tailor very soon.
I can’t say anything after donating three or four different wardrobes myself in the past three years. 🤷🏻♀️
It’s a good problem to have.
I told him he’s only a pound or two away from 20% of his goal already. Last night he shyly admitted he might change his goal a little lower. I love this man. He was worried about starting weight loss “at his age”, but has tackled this without complaint, and is adapting very well. He is an awesome sweetie, and I’ve been so blessed to share a lifetime with him.
And no, I’m not sucking up. He doesn’t read the boards. That’s the one thing he balks at.21
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