WOMEN AGES 50+ FOR OCTOBER 2022
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Katla: Hope your DH makes it to the apartment today and that you are re-united! A new home! That would be exciting as well.
Annie: It is not you, it is your metabolism. I stay at 1200 calories but any carbs or sugar and my body just can't metabolize them like they use to. Ground turkey and cabbage or cole slaw do help. Hang in there!
RVRita: I need to go to Wally World some morning while it is organized and fresh and clean...and before the Christmas rush picks up. I use Amazon so much now, that I have not given Wally World much business the last couple of years.
Debbie: Congrats on being so active! Yes the room mate should go!
Pipcd: Congrats on raising 1k for MS!
Machka9: So sorry about your husband's accident and health and hope issues with your own health stay under control. Congrats on the weight loss! Small changes do make a difference, especially around carbs and sugar. I see Chobani is making a no sugar yogurt now...I really like it and hope it makes a difference for me!
I read an article on friendship in the New York Times this morning. How difficult it is to make friends as adults. Apparently there are apps for friendships. What do you think? Do you think I should try an app in Middle Georgia to find a friend to walk with 2x a week? I have mixed feelings about it.
Rosemarie from Georgia
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Machka9: I love the Boundaries post! I have trouble asserting myself and often over do it. A few lines like these would help a bunch!
Rosemarie from Georiga2 -
Machka - I LOVE THIS! Thank you
On boundaries:I emailed my walking buddy a couple days ago that I was taking some much needed alone time to just clear my head, was still recovering from covid and going thru some grief stuff from DH's passing in May. I was fine. I have a doctor's appointment to check out my hips which had been aching after walking on the pavement a lot. And that if she saw me walking alone past her house to get a little fresh air, please honor my space.On my shopping trip to town yesterday, I hit the gym to see if my insurance was still good there. It has plenty of treadmills and low impact cardio stuff I can use. The doc will likely give me some good hip flexor stretches.
The email I got back from her was "are you mad at me? Sounds like you are trying to avoid me. What did I do to you?" I emailed her back and she calmed down.
We'll walk together again. I'll give her a loving tutorial about friendship and boundaries. Which is, if a person asks for space, honor that. Say "OK" and back off. Don't apply pressure or go into "hurt feelings" mode.
Honestly, I've walked away from other friendships in my life for that very reason. They are a lot of work. I just want peace, and giving up that up to placate someone else doesn't work out.
Again, Machka - thank you.
I'm so looking forward to getting back out in the world.
Lanette
SW WA State where we are going through a warm spell for a few days. More great weather to hang out the laundry.
This just popped up in my Facebook feed....
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Viv- Put your own oxygen mask on first - even before your children's and your friends' - no, it does not make you a bad friend at all. Leave your options open and do what is best for you.
Much Love,
Karen in Virginia5 -
Morning ladies
Slept pretty well..today I do laundry and get the Flu and covid shots.. and thats the extent of the day.. depending on the effects of the shots.. yes keeping your arm moving helps alot.1 -
Goals for September:
✅ - Be lighter: I was 170 on the first of September and 168 this morning. I dropped down as far as 160 this month, but those sharp drops are always followed by sharp gains, as well. The last few years have taught me, finally, some equilibrium about the scale and its impact on my day-to-day mood.
✅ - Be healthier: I did what I call "intentional exercise" three times this week. Not yard work or housework, but dancing on an aerobics step and as of yesterday, starting to lift some free weights.
✅ - Stick to the budget: We did well in September, no unexpected massive expenses.
My October goals remain the same - be lighter, be healthier, and stick to the budget. For the new folks with us, setting specific, numbered goals was one of the things I decided to stop doing when I found myself feeling that I was a failure if I only lost a pound, or if we went over the budget by just a few dollars or I ate a calorie past my limit. When I backed off of beating myself up about these things, it removed a lot of the stress and negative self-talk. Lots of peace in that.
The cool mornings and warm afternoons of early fall are here! So lovely to sleep with windows open all night...
Later, y'all,
Love,
Lisa8 -
Thanks Barbie for setting us up for a new month. Welcome October.
Barbara I like your October goal to fuel better. I aim to do better myself in eating more protein and veggies and definitely less sugar.
At my health check yesterday, I found out I have high blood pressure, I've been advised to take my blood pressure twice a day and send the results to my GP. I had blood taken, and the results should be ready in a week. I am overweight for my height, (I knew this already) hence the plan to fuel better in October. I should get a printout of everything discussed and need to make an appointment with my GP in a week or two to discuss the blood pressure readings. I'm hoping not to have to go onto Statins (which the healthcare assistant thought was normal for my age group!)
It's my friend's birthday in October and she has invited our group to a party at her house. She has also invited the husbands as well, I'm not sure if I want to go. I know I shouldn't feel this way, but it hurts to see them as happy couples having fun, when I miss my DH so much. Am I a bad friend?
Better get a move on.
Love to all
Viv UK
Viv - Yes, I bet you'll get better BP readings at home. I'm always sky-high at the doc's office but normal (with the help of a mild BP pill) at home. I send my readings to the doc every month or two.
Even when my DH was alive and healthy, he was "anti-social" in his later years so I'd attend events alone if I felt like going. Having my own transportation and driving alone was key - when I was ready to go, no waiting on someone. Generally, I was glad I went. I agree with others - you aren't a "bad friend" if you don't want to go. But if you want to pop your head in a for a bit, you might find a lot of folks very glad to see you.
You might also find older ladies getting you in a corner and wondering how you are coping with being a widow. Concern about your welfare, yes, but they see that possibility in their own future and are curious about how to prepare. It even happened to me yesterday with a store clerk I chat with! I told her - make sure you have a will, financial and medical powers of attorney, etc. Take as much stress off beforehand if you can. It's not always easy if spouses have determined they are going to live forever and don't want to bother.
Annemarie - I feel so fortunate to have worked and lived in this community for decades. So I don't have to look very far to find someone to meet for lunch if I want. Our local gym has a lot of "Silver & Fit" and "Silver Sneakers" classes, that several of my Master Gardener acquaintances and former co-workers attend. They even have once a month "snack" events there, lol. Not sure if they bring carrot sticks or cookies.
Here in WA State, it seems most of the Medicare insurance plans cover the membership.
It's a good place renew old friendships and find new friends. Just an idea when you are able to get out more and are looking for some company.
And the Master Gardeners attracted a lot of retirees. There's a volunteer requirement for working in a demonstration garden that I eventually couldn't keep up with due to extra work I needed to do around our place, but I know it was waived for some who had physical limitations.
Katla - great news about your DH coming home! Sounds like he's getting great care and the medical/ rehab services in the area are top-notch.
Heather - Happy Birthday!
Lanette
SW WA State3 -
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Good morning all! Happy October! First, a big THANK YOU to Barbie for leading us into another month of companionship!
In reading these first few posts of October, I just have to say, I love you ladies! To have a group of friends who put their hearts and thoughts up for others to see and glean this vast quantity of experiences and knowledge; just astonishing and it truly makes me feel like the luckiest person to know all of you (even if it is through an online group). I feel like I could show up in your town and meet any of you for a walk, chat, or coffee and would be welcomed. I have found, coming though the covid shutdowns, aging and caring for a spouse that I need to be home with quite often, and working a job out of my home (all things have been very isolating); I value those times I can get out of my house, and I value those moments when I can't and am able to find all of you, right here, just a few strikes of some keys away. Sending you all the biggest of hugs!
Machka- My DH is very fair skinned (as was his mother) and freckly. I have begun "mapping" his freckles and moles each year. I do this every September. I have also begun taking pictures with my phone. He does the same for me, although I am darker complected, and so far have no skin issues. His mother and aunt, both have had to have moles and areas biopsied, removed and treated for skin cancer. He doesn't like to wear sunscreen (he doesn't like the feel of it); whereas I go through large quantities of it every summer. Even though I don't usually burn, I kind of look at it more as "wrinkle prevention".
Lanette- I love the boundaries diagram! I see myself with others in a few of those! The bottom row is how I am with my own children. There are three others in the upper left corner that I use with my DH. lol It is funny how different people cause us to take different boundary approaches. The last one in the second row, is the one most used on me by my DH. He often tells me how he feels and what he is going through, and my brain (and mouth) always jump in to save the day. AND that is not what he wants; it is taking me a long time to realize that he is just talking things through and venting and not looking for answers from me. In other words, I need to shut up. lol
Rosemarie- It is funny that you mention the difficulty in "making friends" as we get older. I think it seems harder, because we have an established set of likes, dislikes, expectations, and desires in friendship. Sometimes I think it is easier to move into friendships if you begin with a common interest. A club, a class, an exercise/walking group. Is there a local social media page you can check for community projects/groups? Or a page you could even put your heart/wish out there for people of similar desire to meet, walk, chat? I think you would find there are a great number of people that are looking for that type of connection. Sometimes I think our mental health would be so much better if we just did what children do; find a playground, walk up to the first kid we see and say "Do you want to....(play tag)?" Then just do it. So many times, my kiddos and I have left the playground only to have one of them turn to the unknown child they have been playing with and say, "I have to go home, now. Maybe I will see you here, next time I come. What is your name?" lol
Pip- Whoot! Whoot! on the jersey and medal! I love the colors of the jersey and the gear shape of the medal! You are a rockstar fundraiser! Your knickknack makeover is adorable!
Well, on my to do list this weekend. I have about two hours of housework, two hours of yard work, two hours of paperwork, grocery shopping, mattress shopping, and DH. Until DH sees a doctor and is on meds that make it easier for him to get up and move around unassisted (fingers crossed he will improve to that level) my away from the house errands will have to wait until he is up and moving each day. I am okay with that; he would do the same for me. My DYS is up north (Leelanau peninsula) camping and trying to get some night sky pics. I am very proud of him and his new found ability to travel solo. I think covid really pushed him out there. The prices for airline tickets dropped and due to resorts and other places being closed; it pushed him into the "camping and hiking" arena. He has met up with many local nature photographers and is getting quite good at landscape and sky pics. He now has a second "test" to take for this position with DTE. The test isn't until mid October. His score on this test will determine whether he is hired in nearby GR or Traverse City (which is near the Leelanau peninsula). He is hoping for TC. I want whatever he wants, of course.
Anyway, time for me to get busy. Sending love and hugs to all! ttfn xoxoxox KJ (Kelly)
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DH caught a mouse! We are hoping it's the only one, but time will tell. It got into the wicker wastepaper basket, which I had emptied at lunchtime, and DH was able to hold it down in there and take it outside. It wriggled a lot and bit him, so he had to let it go earlier than he would have liked! It didn't draw blood and he has washed his hand thoroughly.
Don't know how he could bear to do that!
Crossing fingers it was a stray.
We are putting poison in the shed as we think there are some up there. Last year they gnawed through a plastic seed bin!
Love Heather, just setting off to fetch the girls.
Xxxxxxxx4 -
Good morning ladies!
Thank you Barbie for the new thread!
I had three new books to read while the rain (hurricane remnants) washes over us. But I am through two of them with three rainy days to go!
I found a new author Lisa Regan who writes about a female cop, Josie Quinn. Very good stories.
Meanwhile my two library books are languishing. They both happen to have lead characters with brain injuries. Interesting, but it cuts down on the escapism possibilities. And I think one is going to be an unreliable narrator story, which just annoys me. Yes it supports clever plot twists, but it feels deceitful.
My list of errands is largely medical phone calls that have to wait until Monday anyway. I should probably clean a corner of my room. Maybe later.
Annie in Delaware
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Happy Birthday Heather!1
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Hi- new to this group.
Melanie 56 years as of last week
I have thrown away the scale and am concentrating on improving my nutrition and work outs.
Recovering from foot surgery- non weight bearing another 3 weeks so dialling in on nutrition while looking forward to working out again.
Looking forward to getting to know you all
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KJ (Kelly) ...
I am not overly fair and I tan easily. But I have never been keen on sunscreen.
That said, 2 of the spots have rarely seen the light of day. I understand the nose spot, and it is the worst one.
But the other 2 are not in areas I would have uncovered. Except when I used to use tanning beds way back when or when I tanned nude in my first summer in Australia. But even so they wouldn't have had as much UV exposure as other parts.
So that leaves genetics.
Also only one spot looks even remotely like a mole.
For the longest time, I mistook the one on my right hip for a small scrape I thought I got working in the garden or something. Only it never seemed to heal properly.
And the one on my nose has been exactly like a recurring pimple. It flares up, it seems to heal, then it flares up again etc.
M in Oz3 -
Kelly - as I review my life, I don't have a lot of regrets in my marriage but one that stands out is not allowing my DH to have space and "alone time" without me immediately thinking I'd done something wrong and then bending over backwards to make up for whatever imagined thing I'd done for him to go into silent mode. And beating myself up about it.
And making it worse. Letting my fourth grade self who didn't get picked for dodge-ball at recess mope around with hurt feelings.
Getting all mad and p*ssy.
My fragile self-esteem loved to wallow in it.
It wasn't until the last decade of our marriage that I finally realized when he said "you didn't do anything, I just need some quiet" he really meant it. And if I felt that I still needed to say something, giving him a quick compliment like "You sure did a great job when we had the landscaping put in here. I love how you placed those Alaska cedars" lightened everything up immediately.
He got a pat on the back whether he needed it or not and I got to say something, lol. No boundaries breached, no hours or days of pain.
And I totally agree - this group forms a very vital function in our lives. The casual but often deep and thoughtful interaction between us goes a long way in keeping us lifted up. Maybe that's why some of us don't have to go "outside" to get the benefits of support and friendship that keep us enriched.
Lanette
SW WA State
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Afternoon ladies
Well got my shots.. and the flu shot hurt worse than the covid one go figure.. but its done..
Laundry is dry,folded and put away
And I am watching PBS cooking shows..
I totally agree about ya'll being great friends to me..
Like you said in different phases of life,things change.. and right now after Covid things slowed way down and didn't go out as much,so it was a life shift..
The Divorce didn't help but I got through that ok...
I made new friends here.. I have my kids and now grandkids and watching the little guy during the week is a bit hard bit I know I am helping out and the way he looks at me with all the love a 9 month old can just melts me..
So I am blessed to have all of you lovely lovely friends to bouy me up.and you know I love you all!!3 -
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Recently, I decided to book a full skin check as I'm 55 and I've never had a proper skin check before! And yesterday I went for the skin check.
Machka in Oz
I go to a homeopathic doctor. Because of chronic pain she put me on an Avazzia TENS unit which everybody is probably familiar with. It heals the muscle as well as your skin. I had a spot on my nose as well that my daughter-in-law that had skin cancer said looks like skin cancer. Because you can use the TENS unit for a facial which really does get rid of wrinkles all of my wrinkles in fact. You do your nose area. That cancer spot is now gone. Also, I too have suffered from loss of feeling in my left ankle foot lower leg area. After treating that for approximately one week I now have the feeling back. I showed the TENS unit to my friends yesterday because they noticed my face had no wrinkles. And one of the ladies just had cortisone shots in her knee and for the last couple months was unable to walk without pain. She treated her knee for approximately 40 minutes yesterday and when she was done she could walk and straighten out her leg which she had not been able to do for years. She checked back with me today and said that the pain is still gone. Like yesterday the only spot that hurt was where she got the injection which is a bruised area. When my homeopath gave me a treatment on my shoulder I had been in extreme pain for the last 7 months. The pain was gone for 5 to 7 days after treatment. Now I do regular maintenance and can go without pain the majority of the time. This is not a tens unit that you just lay the pads on affected area, this is a unit that has a wand. My hypothesis is that it heals your skin and muscle tissue and help your nerves. My husband cut his wrist with a chainsaw 6 years ago and had a very thick scar tissue build up in that area. He treated that area for approximately one week and now it is soft impliable and he is actually feeling tingling of his nerves reawakening from his wrist down to the tips of his finger which he had lost his feeling in.
💞Mary from Arizona/Minnesota5 -
I forgot to mention that the TENS unit is supposed to also tighten skin and minimize pores and remove wrinkles from the face so I thought that I would try it on my crepey skin. I had shoe leather skin on my thighs and actually my whole legs. As well as when I had my arm at rest it looked like I had an accordion waiting on the side of my arm if you know what I mean. I have been treating both of those areas for approximately 2 weeks now. My skin is now extremely soft on my upper thighs and actually the whole leg! The crepey skin is disappearing. I asked my husband yesterday if he saw much improvement and he said yes you don't have any more dots on your legs! I think he was talking about cellulite. The skin of my arms is almost back to when I was in my thirties! The creepy skin of the accordion is very minimal. I'm guesstimating that I can get rid of all the creepy skin with continued treatment.
I'm starting on my stomach area today! I want to be able to wear a two-piece bathing suit without any accordion on my belly. From weight loss my skin has not tightened back up. I will let you know what happens with that!
💞 Mary from Arizona/Minnesota5 -
Thanks Barbie for starting us all off on the right path, month after month, year after year! I think I was with y'all during the difficult years, dealing with husband and his liver issues. I kept your inspiration in my back pocket when I had to drive from the Oregon coast to Portland for appointments or procedures. You all were my lifesaver and heck you have me as a friend for life. No doubt about it!💖👍🏻🤗
I am feeling better. Slept fairly well last night. Heck, just saying I slept is quite an improvement! Still on chicken broth, a couple mugs a day and that's it. My abdomen isn't as sore and the Meta Mucil, and 80 oz of water is taking effect. Husband went out to get me my perscription of mirilax, so I will start taking that as well. Right now I can't really feel hunger but I will pay attention when I start. Concerned on exactly "what" I should actually eat. For those that don't know, the doctor stated my large intestines were impacted a bit. Oatmeal? Just soup and crackers or toast? I am kind of afraid of eating. (A sentence I thought would never come out of my mouth) 😂!
Thinking all my work at my sisters, in temperatures warmer than I was used to, and not drinking enough water probably got me to this state.
Hugs!
Rebecca
Whidbey island Wa
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Shots in arm went well. Both arms a bit sore, tired and runny nose but otherwise pretty good.
After shots and Wally World, went to Taco Bell and tried the Mexican pizza. I was not impressed. Picture looked so much better than what I got.
Ate poorly yesterday so triggered colitis attack last night. Was up until 4 in the morning. Probably why I’m tired today more than the shots.
RvRita4 -
Rebecca, If you are afraid to eat, don't eat. As long as you get enough liquid and salt, you can let your GI system rest for many days. This is literally a case of "listen to your gut". xoxo
Karen in Virginia8 -
My beautiful girl is married... anything else I could say would just be gilding the lily...Unfortunately, most of the photos were taken at very low resolution, so they end up quite small or very, very fuzzy! There are a few good ones...
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Rebecca - Karen has the force of actual medical knowledge behind her, but that gets my vote too - don't eat unless you're ready. Your body knows...
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Another medal for my wall
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Lisa ~ So happy for your daughter. She is beautiful!
Tried to get the mattress topper I purchased from Amazon in a position to take to the UPS store today. DH was a total grouch and I ended up crying. Finally realized the only way we can send it back is to take it to the store and have them pack it. Will cost me but less than the cost of buying it.
Carol in GA
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The carport/ screen porch and the front florida room blown to bits ,dont really know about the roof.. so very sad.. but could have been so much worse..
You can't get in to the town as it shut down because the highways are covered in water.5 -
Kids are in bed and DH is getting them to sleep. I did the girls' bath with bubbles from the cruise gift, and then I gave them a leg massage with the cream. Very lovely smells!
Strictly was a laugh and the very naughty snacks were great fun. 👍 We did lots of dancing around the living room rug.
Now relaxing and watching my recording of Great British Bake Off.
Lisa - Aaahhh! ❤️ 🧡 💛 💚 💙 💜
Love Heather UK xxxxxx5
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