WOMEN AGES 50+ FOR OCTOBER 2022

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  • cityjaneLondon
    cityjaneLondon Posts: 12,197 Member
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    So sorry Machka. For you and your plans, but, of course, for the so many people whose lives have been torn apart by this flooding event. So much misery.

    Love Heather UK xxxxxxxx
  • KetoneKaren
    KetoneKaren Posts: 6,411 Member
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    dlfk202000 wrote: »
    Have any of you had a bone density test?
    At what age did you get it done.
    I asked my doctor about it before and she said I was too young. I asked her today and she said we will do it when I am 65. (I asked because both my parents have/had osteo)
    Have to wait five more years to have it done

    I am 68 and had my first bone density test last year. I don't have the same familyl history you have. My test was normal for age.

    Karen in Virginia
  • Machka9
    Machka9 Posts: 24,840 Member
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    Snowflake1968 wrote: »
    Machka - as I was reading your kidney stone experience I was picturing the university and hospital here as I knew you went there. I also pictured that long drive from south of here. Scary.

    Tracey in Edmonton

    Yep!

    I've had a few scary drives on that road, especially in winter! But that one topped the charts for most painful drive!

    M in Oz

  • Machka9
    Machka9 Posts: 24,840 Member
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    Rosemarie2972 wrote: »
    Murder She Wrote was a favorite show of mine, so I noted Angela Lansbury's passing. Sundays have not been the same for me since the show left that time slot. I think I use to really relax during the show and have not relaxed on Sunday night since. I did walk today and my husband seems to be doing okay.
    Time for sleep as tomorrow is another dayd!

    Murder She Wrote comes on TV here at 5:30 pm on week days. Quite often I'm not home from work till nearly 6 pm, so I don't watch it, but occasionally I get home earlier and will turn it on. Today was one of those days. :)

    I've always liked Murder She Wrote.

    M in Oz



  • Machka9
    Machka9 Posts: 24,840 Member
    edited October 2022
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    Machka9 wrote: »
    cityjaneLondon wrote: »
    So sorry Machka. For you and your plans, but, of course, for the so many people whose lives have been torn apart by this flooding event. So much misery.

    Love Heather UK xxxxxxxx

    I'm not that disappointed about our plans. I was already formulating Plan B when I heard this system was moving in.

    I'm now in the process of cancelling the cycling event because it has been confirmed that at least one of the roads we use will be closed for at least a week while the road and the bridge are assessed. And that's just one of many roads.

    But more importantly, there is a lot of destruction and disrupted lives. And a lot of work ahead of so many.

    cityjaneLondon wrote: »
    Tracey - funny how we don't do the things right next to us, unless we have visitors who want to go. I still, haven't been up the i360. The old tram would be a fun trip for the kids. ???

    Love Heather UK xxxxxxxx

    One of the things that has gone hand-in-hand with cycling over the years is that I've been able to visit many of "the things right next to us" by cycling there. It's great to have a destination. :)

    Plan B involves doing day trips to visit places we haven't gone recently, and of course, to bring our bicycles with us. And maybe hiking shoes too.


    M in Oz

  • Machka9
    Machka9 Posts: 24,840 Member
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    KetoneKaren wrote: »
    Machka9 wrote: »
    LisaInArkansas wrote: »
    I can't quite figure out if the difference is simply the individual differences between us all in outlook, or in financial wherewithal, or the urban / rural divide - but I cannot even imagine moving into an apartment where strangers take care of me...

    Just musing in Arkansas,
    Love,
    Lisa

    Whereas, I can hardly wait! Being taken care of sounds wonderful!

    But it would have to be in Canada. Australia's facilities aren't as good as Canada's from the bit I have seen.

    And believe me if my husband starts deteriorating from where he is, as they predict he will, I'll be looking at options as Karen has.

    I'm 55 and my husband is older. If it weren't for the fact that he loves the garden and it gives him something to do, I'd be actively looking for a 55+ housing community to start the process!!

    Unfortunately, as I mentioned, Australia hasn't really grasped the concept as well as Canada has yet. There are 55+ housing communities but, again, from what I've seen, they aren't as nice as I'd like. So fortunately, we are still able to stay where we are for now.

    My grandmother went through the whole process.

    She lived in a large house and took care of my grandfather and great grandmother until they passed away.
    Then she downsized to a 2-bedroom apartment in an adult apartment building -- no children.
    Then she moved into a 1-bedroom independent apartment in an assisted living building. They had medical professionals on staff but only if you needed them. Dinners were provided and could be taken in a dining hall or in your own apartment. Pretty much everything else was up to you.
    Then she moved into a studio apartment in the same building, with a bit of medical attention ... and then with more attention.
    Then she had a fall, and my aunt and uncle took her until she was able to move into complete care in the hospital. The bit from the fall till the end happened fairly quickly.
    She passed away at 97 years old and was quite independent until about 96 years old.

    That process works for me.

    M in Oz

    Works for me, too.

    It's our preference to arrange for our senior care independent of our children. I wouldn't be doing it quite this soon if not for the deterioration of my spouse. I love where we currently live, on a pond in a nice house. I'm a procrastinator. My spouse's disability has served as the catalyst to set me in motion.

    Karen in Virginia


    Yes, I think we (my husband and I) would rather be the ones making the decisions about where we live and the type of care we get, rather than family members who don't know us very well.


    M in Oz
  • cityjaneLondon
    cityjaneLondon Posts: 12,197 Member
    edited October 2022
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    Karen - My heart goes out to you. <3 I truly dread the inevitable deterioration that comes with age, or accident, or illness. I still have to somehow get DH to do something about POA. I'm finding myself putting off having that discussion again as he was so hurt and upset last time.
    I intend to do all I can to keep myself healthy, but I know a lot of it is a lottery. My dream is to live into my 90s, independent and healthy and then suddenly pop off. That is extremely unlikely to happen, but DH and I exercise and eat every day with that goal in mind.
    I would put him in a home if he substantially deteriorated. I do not have any carer genes. There are a few nursing homes just around the corner, so regular visiting is happily possible. If I deteriorate, I hope to have enough wits left to exit this world before I'm at the stage when I don't have any choice. I definitely do not want to be kept alive. The idea of impotence terrifies me.
    Neither do I want to be with old people. Ugh. :p We consider ourselves bright young things. I really do feel younger than I did in my 40s. I have so many adventures to go on, not least in my writing and developing a bigger profile. Having spent so many years in a mental mess, life is just beginning for me.
    I also believe our grandchildren keep us young. Seeing life through their eyes is a constant adventure.

    I love your apartment, Karen, and fully understand your reasons. I would just resent the financial commitment. Renting has always seemed like wasted money and so insecure. I am open to having help in our home. I just have to get DH to see that one day he may not be in a state to make his own decisions and others, including me, may have to make the best decisions for him.

    I watch a lot of programmes about the health service, and the terrible difficulties old people have in coping at home and accessing services, breaks my heart. They are living lives of quiet desperation. No thank you.

    With all my love and compassion for you wonderful carers out there. I truly appreciate you.

    Heather UK xxxxxxxx
  • Machka9
    Machka9 Posts: 24,840 Member
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    cityjaneLondon wrote: »
    I would just resent the financial commitment. Renting has always seemed like wasted money and so insecure.

    Heather UK xxxxxxxx

    I like renting for the flexibility. Home ownership scares me. What happens if someone terrible moves in next to you? What happens if there is a flood? What happens if the roof needs to be replaced? What if you want to pack up and move across the country or to another country?

    I've never owned a house or any dwelling more structured than a tent. :smiley:

    M in Oz

  • LisaInArkansas
    LisaInArkansas Posts: 2,373 Member
    edited October 2022
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    Machka9 wrote: »
    cityjaneLondon wrote: »
    I would just resent the financial commitment. Renting has always seemed like wasted money and so insecure.

    Heather UK xxxxxxxx

    I like renting for the flexibility. Home ownership scares me......

    I've never owned a house or any dwelling more structured than a tent. :smiley:

    M in Oz

    Stepping in to answer your (probably rhetorical) questions B) ...

    What happens if someone terrible moves in next to you?

    Build a fence. That's what we did. Quite helpful, actually, for my own sense of security...

    What happens if there is a flood?

    Don't buy a house in a flood zone in the first place. You can check with the local land authority.

    What happens if the roof needs to be replaced?

    Hire someone to replace the roof. We were lucky enough to have a very small amount of damage in a storm to an old roof, so insurance paid the $10,000 replacement cost... but here's the flip side: The amount to rent here is approximately three times the amount of our mortgage payment. By the time it's fully paid off, we will have owned this house for almost five years, and in that time, we've saved more than sixty thousand dollars on rent alone. That's FAR more than we've put into it in terms of repairs, etc., and easily accommodates a roof replacement.

    What if you want to pack up and move across the country or to another country?

    Then sell the house and move wherever you like. This is technically the sixth house we've bought (though one was actually a warehouse that we built an apartment into, and two were live-in camper/trailers). You're not married to the house, it's a possession like any other. Admittedly the most expensive thing I've ever owned, but still, a possession.

    Please note - I don't think it's a good thing or bad thing to rent or own... it's a personal decision that drives deep down into our personalities, much more than most people realize. I just try to always have all the information I can have, especially financially. It's from hard experience. I never thought I'd want to buy a house again after my first marriage, where our house payment was the last straw that tipped us over into bankruptcy (LONG story), and a house that should have been an asset became an albatross. There are no statutes of limitation on stupidity, unfortunately...

    Later,
    Love,
    Lisa
  • Katla49
    Katla49 Posts: 10,385 Member
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    Happy Halloween !

    👻 🎃 👻
  • Machka9
    Machka9 Posts: 24,840 Member
    edited October 2022
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    LisaInArkansas wrote: »
    Machka9 wrote: »
    cityjaneLondon wrote: »
    I would just resent the financial commitment. Renting has always seemed like wasted money and so insecure.

    Heather UK xxxxxxxx

    I like renting for the flexibility. Home ownership scares me......

    I've never owned a house or any dwelling more structured than a tent. :smiley:

    M in Oz

    Stepping in to answer your (probably rhetorical) questions B) ...

    What happens if someone terrible moves in next to you?

    Build a fence. That's what we did. Quite helpful, actually, for my own sense of security...

    What happens if there is a flood?

    Don't buy a house in a flood zone in the first place. You can check with the local land authority.

    What happens if the roof needs to be replaced?

    Hire someone to replace the roof. We were lucky enough to have a very small amount of damage in a storm to an old roof, so insurance paid the $10,000 replacement cost... but here's the flip side: The amount to rent here is approximately three times the amount of our mortgage payment. By the time it's fully paid off, we will have owned this house for almost five years, and in that time, we've saved more than sixty thousand dollars on rent alone. That's FAR more than we've put into it in terms of repairs, etc., and easily accommodates a roof replacement.

    What if you want to pack up and move across the country or to another country?

    Then sell the house and move wherever you like. This is technically the sixth house we've bought (though one was actually a warehouse that we built an apartment into, and two were live-in camper/trailers). You're not married to the house, it's a possession like any other. Admittedly the most expensive thing I've ever owned, but still, a possession.

    :):)

    Here, we'd have to pay between about $11,000 and $12,000 more per year to buy a place like the one we're renting. We'd have to go for something quite a bit smaller and/or in an area we're not as fond of.

    I just like the idea of someone else being responsible if something goes badly wrong ... or being able to walk away.


    M in Oz
  • KetoneKaren
    KetoneKaren Posts: 6,411 Member
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    Machka, I have discovered I am over and done with home ownership. Repairs, ruptured pipes, raccoons, weeds, deck maintenance, cantankerous appliances, deteriorating driveway, lawn reseeding/aeration, etc. are no longer fun for me. I used to love being a homeowner.

    Karen in Virginia
  • cityjaneLondon
    cityjaneLondon Posts: 12,197 Member
    edited October 2022
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    Our house has increased in price in the 4 years we have been living here by £350,000. To rent a place like ours would be £3,500 a month. I have been mortgage free since I divorced at the age of 45. I think a few repairs are worth it. :D
    I suffered horribly from renovating two old houses while we were living in them. Severe depression and hell. But now i am reaping the benefits of buying my first home at the age of 21. I have no idea how people afford the rents around here. 😕 It's mind boggling.

    Love Heather UK xxxxxxxx

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