WOMEN AGES 50+ FOR AUGUST 2023
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HAPPY FRIDAY!!
Hope you are all having a wonderful day and have a fun weekend planned.
Ezie's mom told me today that we will be cutting back to the two days a week starting this coming week, so, I am off until Thursday at 12:15
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Tracey: Very, very sad news. It must have been quite a shock. My sympathy to your daughter and son in law. He was very clever to rent a car trailer so they could travel together.
Lanette: As my DH could eat less and less types of food we stock piled the food he could eat. I still have not gone through the cabinets to sort this food out.
Heather: So sorry your thigh goes into spasms. You are so active otherwise!
Grandmallie: I hope you enjoyed your mani, pedi
I have been away from the computer and the blog a short while. I am glad to be getting back to it. I so
appreciated your sharing about your marriages. My husband and I had a very good life together, but I was very hard on him at times during the last 2 years of his ALS journey. I gave excellent physical care and co-ordinated his care very well. And we had many nice afternoons listening to audio books or watching a movie. But there were times when I was tired and complained about the marriage. I regret this so much now. He wanted nothing but the best for me and I wanted more. I have spoken to 2 social workers, a bereavement counselor, a psychologist from Los Angeles and an author who wrote a book on guilt and grief. There really isn't anything anyone can say. I miss him tremendously. I have been thinking about Sandra Bullock the last few days. To think she had been going through the same thing. My DH had symptoms for years before his diagnosis...maybe 6 or 7 years. It was a long journey. I wanted to take walks and walking was the first thing that deteriorated. If I got into another relationship, I would be so much more appreciative. I am game for another relationship, but would never marry again. I was pretty much the household cleaner and manager during the marriage. I always wanted this to be more of a partnership. But now he is gone and guess what...I am still the household cleaner and manager so nothing has changed!
I am reading Lessons in Chemistry. A very easy reading, light book that many book groups are discussing. I am enjoying it. I also started Cutting for Stone and older book that is very well written.
I saw the movie Barbie with my son and my daughter in law. I liked the energy in the movie. My son says it described an older patriarchy and did not account enough for changes in the last 40 years. Someone told me the movie is suppose to have taken place in the 90's but I am not so sure.
Best,
Rosemarie from Georgia
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dlfk202000 wrote: »Whidislander wrote: »Well today went well. Up at 3, left at 4:15 am. Then got to the hospital at 6:15, and the labs opened up at 6:30 am. Next stop was radiology where he had x rays, and a CT scan.. His doctor appointment was at 9:45 am and we were seen at 10;00 am. Doctor said his numbers looked good, kidneys working well. Better yet was that his liver oxygenation looked good, his veins to his liver running a good percentage. Overall a happy appt. Drove back to Mt Vernon and we stopped at our favorite Mexican place. So now I am full, tired, and have a grand stain of salsa on my shirt. Go figure!
Glad we're home though. I took half of my meal home.
Rebecca
Whidbey
Wa
Our old neighbor moved up there to Mt. Vernon and my cousin and her husband both teach there.
Would love to do a road trip up that way again.
Let me know when you do, we could meet up.👍💖
Rebecca
Whidbey
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Rebecca - so glad you got such a good report
Michele NC1 -
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Rebecca - Computer geeky from way back, the first thing I did with the coffee maker was unplug and restart. And again. And again.
Did get it to work in the end... Am so pleased that Lee's appointment went well and his tests are good. And salsa stains are just evidence of a life well lived, in my opinion.
Rosemarie - It's could to see you posting. I'm sorry you have regrets, but so glad that you've discussed with those who might be able to help.
Dinner was a sloppy joe, pretty yummy, made from the last of the ground beef I bought earlier in the week... Tomorrow is leftovers, the bits and bobs in the fridge are starting to multiply... no plans for the weekend whatsoever, but practically a cool front, fingers crossed we're out of the 100+ degree days!
I know I've been nattering on about sleeping, not sleeping, etc., but it's largely because so many of my other issues are doing well. I am just so grateful as each piece of my life comes back online. I have to remember that I cannot take my health for granted. If nothing else, I hope I've learned that much.
Later, y'all,
Love,
Lisa in AR7 -
Evening ladies
Lovely dinner out with the ladies
Beautiful right on the river,
And had a nice chat with my brother on the phone..
Poor Miles has a fever,told Tracy if its not gone by monday to call the dr ,for possible ear infection.. she had quite a few when she was little as did I..and we both needed out tonsils out she got hers out at 10,me I was 30 ugh.3 -
Rebecca, Glad Lee got a good report from the doctor. Your trip to Seattle reminded me of the trips Jake and I took to the cardiologist in Seattle when he had tests and multiple appointments the same day. We were very happy when he was able to change to a cardiologist in Silverdale which is a lot closer to where we live.Rosemary, glad to see you posting again. No one has ever lost a loved one without having some regrets about how they treated them. Be kind to yourself. I haven't slept through the night for years thanks to vaginal prolapse. I've just learned to live with it.
Barbie in NW WA 5 -
Rosemarie - (((HUGS)))) so glad to see you back. And I'm glad you are talking to different people about your DH. Keep us in your pocket, you know we wish you peace and happiness, and you'll find it. It's still early days for you I think. Thinking about spouses with gradually debilitating diseases, physical or mental (like dementia) I am reminded a little of the family of an alcoholic. Wives (or hubbys) are thrust into the role of caregiver and in a way, have the disease too, even though they think they should be the "healthy" one and tend to beat themselves up when they can't hold it together or do it "right."
My DH's doctor helped me so much during DH's final year. I'd just make an appointment with him and go in and cry, his nurse would hug me, and he'd listen. Give some ideas and suggestions. His wife had passed a year earlier from a long bout with breast cancer. He let me know it was OK not to be good at this caretaker stuff, and to be angry and impatient was just how it rolled sometimes. I'd leave with a weight lifted off my shoulders, and a plan for DH (like getting him in for blood tests- he refused to go to the doctor!) I'm so grateful for that.
Debbie - or any of you zipping up or down I-5 through Washington State south of Olympia - I'm not that far away and would love to meet you if only for a hug and cup of coffee!
With Ezie cut back to 2 days a week, that will free up some time for you.
Heather - did they get that skylight situation figured out at your son's house? I hope they can get it to the state they can move in soon like they were planning.
Rebecca - glad for the good report on Lee! Is his next appointment in a year?
Katla - not sure if you keep up on the Portland area weather - your old stomping ground along the Columbia might hit 100f on Monday. I won't be that far behind you. Thankfully, it's only supposed to last a few days. We've made it through hotter weather before.
Machka - I was happy to read your DH did fine with you being gone a few days. Considering the severity of his injury, he seems to be coping well. Bet you were glad to get home.
Michele - I like that Oregano idea.
Inna Gadda da Vida, baby!
Have a wonderful weekend ladies!
Lanette
SW WA State
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Seriously, Lanette. We should do a meet up. My traveling is not like it was when I was running up to see my mom, mostly alone. I usually travel with some kind of entourage now. Lol
Much love to you. Try to stay cool this week!
Flea
Willamette Valley, OR5 -
Making it through the week of both learning and celebrations
Hugging husband and Rhody when I got home
Walking in the sunshine and warmth of Brisbane
Laughing at/with Peter Rowsthorn (Brett from Kath & Kim) at our dinner
Machka in Oz5 -
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Barbara - we didn't drink wine by the side of the road, but plenty was drunk in the campsite at night! We were just children, but rough red wine was a must.
We probably just had water for lunch in 1961. My parents never remembered to pack accessible cutlery, so it was, scoop the salad out with the bread. I remember dripping melon and peach juice all over me. We all got back in the, very hot, car when the wasps turned up.
When we went with the boys, in the 80s, we had a cool box with 'Pschitt'. The name has always made me giggle!
I am so looking forward to going to France in October. Haven't been for ages. I was French in a previous life.
I'm lying on my son's bed right now. Kinda miss him! (Not really) This room in the front is my morning bolt hole.
DH said the fridge/freezer at the house won't quite go in the hole. Needs an adjustment. They do have a big drying/airing room now with ventilation. Laundry is about the only thing DDIL hasn't been able to farm out, and she hates it. She had to clean the rental apartment herself because no cleaner could stand the chaos there, so she is desperate to get a new person started. She has never been able to get someone trained to do the laundry properly, though the nannies did the babies stuff. She works on the principle that, if she doesn't like doing something, then she will pay someone to do it. My son does all the cooking, which he is brilliant at.
Don't know the latest on the skylight. DH didn't see it in the garden and there are huge skylights in the kitchen and first landing.
My friend G hires a student to help her with the decluttering. He is good at carrying stuff up and down stairs and to the loft, but mainly she likes him there for company and moral support. She can concentrate much better with another person there. (Undiagnosed ADHD) When she was moving from her family home, which involved major sifting, she hired a professional to help her. She was a terrible hoarder and tends to stuff things in cupboards and garage so she can have a clear living space. Most of that is sorted now, with the help of the student, but she still has to brave all the boxes in the garage! It's amazing how much help he gives her just by being there for a few hours.
Love to all, must start my day.
Heather UK xxxxxxxx6 -
I haven't slept through the night for years thanks to vaginal prolapse. I've just learned to live with it. Barbie in NW WA
I'm up anywhere from 1-3 times a night ... but I go straight back to bed and am usually asleep within about 10 seconds. Sometimes I struggle to stay awake on the toilet!
On a few occasions, I've not gone right back to sleep, but even if I'm not sleeping, I stay in bed. No way I'm getting up at 5 am!! I know I will at least doze, so I do relaxation exercises and just enjoy the time being horizontal in the dark with no computers and no one talking to me. Next thing I know, it's 7:30, so I figure I must have slept some.
Last night, I was so incredibly exhausted from the week. I haven't been that tired since my ultra long-distance cycling days. I fell asleep at midnight, was up in the night twice, and finally crawled out of bed at 12:30 pm. Now at 4:30 pm, I feel like I could go back to bed.
M in Oz
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Rebecca: 🫶 Lee’s results. You must be so relieved.
Rosemarie: Bereavement is such a difficult time. Lean on our broad shoulders.
Machka: You had a full on week so not surprised that you are tired.
The roofers were here for 3 days, and have done a grand job. So much rotten wood replace at one edge of the roof only. Glad that DH noticed the sagging. Turns out the original builder scrimped on roof supports. We have noticed that a lot of the houses round here have similar problems at the roof edges.
Nothing pressing to do today apart from my usual trip to our local shops. But I will do a little declutter later and work on my crochet. And I have a spreadsheet to complete, and short report to write for one of my challenges
Have a great weekend.
☘️ Terri5 -
Regarding husbands ... I hung in there for 12 years with my first husband, but when I started to see the pattern of broken promises, I starting creating my own life: getting further education so that I would not be "stuck", getting a decent job, putting money aside, etc. As things continued to move toward the "line in the sand", I also did a series of things for him so that I could go and not feel like perhaps I had treated him badly, things like ensuring he was out of debt, paying for an expensive gym membership, and getting him caught up with dental and optical issues. For a moment or two as we reached 12 years, I thought things might take a turn for the better. For a moment or two, we took a few steps away from the "line in the sand" ... and then things didn't get better and the line was crossed. The end.
I had relationships, but didn't marry again for 9 years and didn't live with anyone for 10 years. My husband and I married, and lived in different countries for our first year of marriage. I wanted that break so that I could do my own thing.
My current husband and I have known each other for 20 years, have been a couple for 18 years, and have been married for 15 years (anniversary soon!). We've had rough patches in our relationship (who doesn't?) and some huge challenges, but we're nowhere near the "line in the sand" nor are we moving toward it. I think respect has a lot to do with it. We respect the things the other person does or wants to do with encouragement, support, compliments, space and freedom, and so on.
I've also found it helps to state very clearly what I want. Neither of us is a mind-reader. If I don't state what I want, I shouldn't be upset if he doesn't guess ... and vice versa. I don't like playing games.
Machka in Oz ... who is no expert on marriage. 7 -
Up at 4 AM today! Can't understand why I'm waking up so early and actually getting up.
Everyone have a great weekend!
Carol in GA7 -
Lisa-congrats on sleep! I do appreciate your approach to fixing small appliances. Since I know very little of Hawaiian geography-your family isn't on Maui, correct?
Lanette-my doctor says same thing about black coffee. Website I check for thyroid cancer stuff says now even delay black coffee for an hour after taking meds (interferes with absorption). I hadn't heard that in nearly 30 years. I'm trying to add some more space.
Pip-not surprising you made it back to first place-it looks like the two of you are very competitive!
Barbara AHMOD-I may bring back some of the 60's after I retire and am not longer a government employee.
Carol-do you have a separate password for your router? On the router from AT&T there is a password that is different from my password for logging onto computer. Mine is on the side of the router. I don't use it much unless adding new device.
Rosemarie-happy to hear you have found people to talk to. Death is difficult to process. When I say I told him I had no regrets-I meant staying with him and the relationship-not that there aren't times I recognize things I could have done better. Don't beat yourself up for not being perfect.
Rebecca-great news for Lee (and you!).
Machka-sounds like conference was good for many things. I think it is good you got a change of scenery and learned DH can be on his own a bit-that was also probably good for him. I can't imagine sleeping 10 hours-that hasn't happened since my 20s.
Heather-the new house sounds like it will be great-hope they finish things up soon.
Terri-glad you were able to get problem from original builder taken care of before it got to be too bad. We have same problem here in state-some of the builders in developments cut the same corners and later whole groups have same problem.
I actually slept in until 5 today so I will see how day goes. Since it is getting light later, I am checking in here. Going to run to store to pick up a couple of things and be back for 8 am call with SIL (every Saturday morning for the last 15 years-started after MIL death and SIL at lose ends. The deep cleaning a couple of rooms. No outside the house plans!
Take care all,
Ginny in Ohio7 -
Caretaking and husbands : I think one of the problems with ending up as a caretaker, is that we are now so separated from a wider family or 'tribe'. We are expected to be everything to one person, our spouse. That is a very recent phenomenon, probably mid 20th century. It is a lot for one person to carry, and I do have a big fear that it will happen to me. In the past, families were nearer to each other, and we lived in larger units. That has its own disadvantages, but burdens were shared. They say, it takes a village to raise a child, but the same thing is true for old age.
Love you all, Heather UK xxxxxxxx9 -
Carol-do you have a separate password for your router? On the router from AT&T there is a password that is different from my password for logging onto computer. Mine is on the side of the router. I don't use it much unless adding new device.
Yes ... I had to dig out the router password recently when setting up a new device.
It's definitely not the laptop password.Machka-sounds like conference was good for many things. I think it is good you got a change of scenery and learned DH can be on his own a bit-that was also probably good for him. I can't imagine sleeping 10 hours-that hasn't happened since my 20s.
Take care all,
Ginny in Ohio
I sleep 10 hours at least once each weekend. 2 or 3 times if the weekend is really good.
I sleep 12+ hours, like I did last night, only occasionally when I'm particularly exhausted.
During the week, I get about 7 hours of sleep ... it's not enough but I don't have time for more.
I didn't exist for most of the 60s. I feel more like an 80s girl ... that's when I was a teenager. Big hair, shoulder pads, brightly coloured tights.
M in Oz7 -
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Machka-sounds like conference was good for many things. I think it is good you got a change of scenery and learned DH can be on his own a bit-that was also probably good for him.
Take care all,
Ginny in Ohio
In thinking about it, he has spent one other night on his own ... when I had my deviation septum surgery. I tried to get someone to look in on him. But the local "Carer's" organisation wouldn't do it and wouldn't help me organise anything.
In that instance, we took the bus into the hospital, he sat with me till I had to go into the surgery, and then he took the bus home. The next morning, he took the bus in to be with me on the way home. So he wasn't alone very long.
He can do quite a bit, but things take him much longer than they used to. Parts of his brain are also still intact and functional. For example, he can do math as well as me. But his memory is quite poor.
He does better with routine and in a quiet, not too stimulating, familiar environment.
M in Oz
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2882880
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Good morning ladies!
Well, it's been almost three weeks since the end of my sister challenge. I took a very generous break from my diet and exercise program. It was intentional at first, but lately I've been trying to get it back together and just not doing it. Maybe now that Teddy is better it will help. I need to rebuild my habits.
I'm going out to dinner tonight, and then Sunday is generally rest day, but Monday I need to get back in the game.
I've got laundry going, but I'm taking a nap before I get dressed. Last night was my turn to be restless.
Annie in Delaware3 -
I miss Oregon and dear friends there, and the climate. We have made many new friends here in Illinois and they are very nice—but the humidity here is amazing and tends to keep us indoors. Oh well.
Katla6 -
Photos from Brisbane, Queensland, Australia ... and the conference ...
https://www.flickr.com/photos/machka-bb/
M in Oz10 -
Morning ladies
Today is a hard day for me mentally..
I do wish Tom and Elena every happiness as they get married today.But it also brings up emotions of how hurt I was when I found out about his cheating.. though it is all under the bridge and I have forgiven him and her.
It still hurts.
Miles woke up feeling much better..
So you know what he is doing lol.10 -
Lisa-congrats on sleep! I do appreciate your approach to fixing small appliances. Since I know very little of Hawaiian geography-your family isn't on Maui, correct?
Ginny in Ohio
Ginny - I think my daughter must be getting a lot of questions, as she posted this up this morning with thank you to everyone who asked:
They're fine at this point, as far as I know. Couldn't talk to her yesterday, as she was involved in a mass casualty exercise with a hurricane scenario, so they're keeping them on high alert, essentially.
Sleeping - yeah, not so much last night, in the end. I finally went to bed at 10, couldn't sleep, got up an hour later, and went back to the workroom project. Silver linings to everything you know... Finished, finally!
Time to hit the shower, and then decide on something for breakfast...
Later, y'all,
Love,
Lisa
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