WOMEN AGES 50+ FOR AUGUST 2023
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Kim belated best birthday wishes. Hope there was fun involved.
Lisa napcopalypse must be contagious. Came home from dog group hot, tired, aching and not hungry. Took an ibuprofen and slept for 3 hours. Soon as I catch up here I’ll make “lupper.” Brava on the room project, and
the Hobby Lobby find. Perfect!
Heather no electricity, nothing installed/working? SMH that your son has moved in. ((hugs))
Rosemarie ((hugs))
Rebecca very relieved with your Chief’s reports. As for salsa stains, don’t think I own a top that hasn’t been salad dressing stained at one time or another.
Lanette “inna gadda da vida baby” Another tea-snorter.
Machka thanks for the “Happy Hormones”memes.
Ginny another motivation to retire
Allie ((gentle hugs held extra long))
Tracey what a relief the loan came through.
Carol is it possible the router password contains some characters easy to confuse? Like the letter “l” with the number “1” or the letter “O” with the number “zero” Like others have said, my wifi password is on a label on the router. Good luck!
Debbie “give the mama cat a bath” ?!? Not something I’d want to try! Birrea tacos sound delicious!
Rita how scary! Hope you’re feeling better.
Michele sorry to learn the hotel cost will cut your trip short.
Missing Karen in VA and KJ/Kelly…
Today’s (8/12) gratitude: The gift of sight.08/11: Move: 2 sets PT w/x&a, dogs to powerline. Steps:7292Later, lighter, lovelies!
Fuel: sugar in vs mfp=1 CI= 1561CO=607
Live: Joe, readings, BP, AF, chiropractor, vet for rX, post office, Grocery Outlet, Freddie’s. Wt:132.5
Barbara, the Southern Oregon Coastie AHMOD
2023: Be of good cheer. August: Move more, fuel better (less sugar), live NOW.
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Do you have a little routine to set the stage when you walk through the door at the end of your day ?
One of the first things I do is to walk Rhody outside.
Depending on how much light I have or where I am in the yard, I might gaze at the stars, pull a few weeds, look at the flowers, watch the changing colours in the sky ...
Machka in Oz
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Barbara- giving her a bath was pretty easy. She was just looking around. I did hold onto her while we both shampooed her.
At least she is the only one that really needs a bath.
In the past, we have had to flea bath ALL of them.
The smallest one was the hardest to keep in the bath.
The biggest thing is having the water temp right-they don't like it too cold but don't want it too hot.3 -
Do you know that hotel rates have gone WAAAAYYYY up. For us to go to Denise on Fri, Sat, Sun, and come home Mon would be over $1200. It’s $300 for the room on Fri and Sat. It drops to $120 on Sun and Mon. So we’re thinking that we’ll go up Sun, stay Mon and watch PJ while Denise goes to work, and come home Tues. Waiting to hear from Denise if this is OK, but it should be. We also need to call the lady who will take care of Loki to be sure she can do it (I think she probably will be able to)
Teresa et al left this morning and got to the condo around 3. Jess and Colby were there already. I can tell Jess is very happy to be there. I’m sure Teresa and them are, too. There were a few minor glitches, but that always happens when we go to the condo and haven’t been there in a while. Nothing major, tho.
Allie – HUGS and more HUGS. What a strong woman you are!
Tracey – you know, I don’t know if the city sets the prices or not. Boy, you are a baby! 13 years younger than I am! Holy moley I missed it …. what is the toothpick trick? How wonderful that your loan came in!
Lisa – glad your family is where they are. The wildfires won’t cross the ocean
Rita – so glad it wasn’t a heart attack. That’s the last thing you need
Cut the grass today. Raining tonight so probably won’t get my walk in, but got steps in with cutting the grass.
The plan for tomorrow is to do a KettleWorx Resistance, Chest & Back, and Abs DVD’s. Then have to go to WalMart (don’t want to go tonight in case it starts to really rain) then probably take a walk down to Food Lion.
Carol – happy birthday (early, tho it is)
Rebecca – you have my permission to go back to not posting pictures of your meals. Makes me too hungry……:)
Michele NC
Awe, Michele, I have to post photos! Its one of the codes of conduct when being an official Foodie!😁😂
Rebecca
Whidbey
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Greetings Friends. I've been behind for days and just finally caught up.
Rita: So glad you are okay. Please stay well!
Carol: Early Happy Birthday. I hope the tech issues are resolved soon.
Debbie: Add me to the others who want to come eat your delicious home cooked meals. You are making me want an air fryer, but then I remember that I seldom cook anymore.
Tracey: I'm sorry for the recent sad news.
Rosemarie: It's been 2 years since I lost my DH. I was his main caregiver for almost 4 years of his dementia journey. I am still riding the rollercoaster of emotions and guilt. It does get easier as you find your groove. Need a beach partner? I'm always ready!
Lisa: Napcopalypse must be contagious. I crashed for 3 hours this afternoon.
Heather:: Your step daughter is lovely. How I admire all the creativity that flows through you and DH and family.
Allie: Chin up, sweetie! You are so much better off without the drama of your ex-DH. How does that expression go? The best revenge is a happy life????
Lanette: Now that the Subaru is fixed any chance your mechanic can get the teleporter running? I'd take you up on the invite to drop in for coffee. And same to all of you who may ever find yourself in the Denver area....Let's meet up! Maybe catch a concert or get in a hike...
Re Hawaii: Yes, I lived on Oahu (where Lisa's DD is now) for 17 years. I have a few friends on Maui where the fires are, and as of yesterday, they had all checked into FB to say they were safe.
My sweet gentleman has his one and only daughter visiting this week, so we haven't communicated for a few days. However, the good news is that I am going to visit him in New Hampshire when I'm on the east coast at end of this month. We had originally planned to meet at my friends' lakeside home in the Poconos, but I decided I really wanted him to myself before we socialize with others. (My friends are great, but their house is a zoo!) So, I'm flying to his home for a day or two, then we'll drive to the lake together right after Labor Day. He said he is feeling giddy. Me too!
Tomorrow is church followed by a trip to big farmers market with my favorite niece. I'll load up on organic veges and fruits. The storage recommendations in the book "Eating on the Wild Side" (thanks Margaret) are excellent and I can vouch they work. Spoilage has been cut way down, which certainly helps during these days of increasing grocery costs.
Stay well, friends. Keep smiling and shining. We can do this.
Rori
Colorado Foothills
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I went and bought my computer. The store manager was actually there today. I wanted him for his knowledge. Be assured me he has two staff that he has been training for quite a while that are as good as he is.
I think I got a good deal though. The computer was $799 and I got it for $633 tax incl.
I went to ceramics this afternoon so will start setting it up this evening.
I also bought a new rug to put under my desk, I found my feet being cold this past week, but I really hate things on my feet.
Carol - I went to visit my parents once a week and we lived about 40 minutes away. My one daughter lives about 40 minutes away and never seems to make time to visit. She visits her friends though. I try not to let it bother me.
I do see her monthly though usually.
Rita - glad that it was “only” an asthma’s attack, much easier to recover from.
Rebecca - I had to laugh at your response to Lee’s D&D games. I do the same with Jonah.
Heather - it’s good you were there for your friend, it must be terrible having estranged children.
Lisa - I like your wall. Isn’t it great when you find the right thing and it’s on sale!
Michele - the toothpick trick is, when a screw is taken out of a piece of wood because it loosened you can break toothpicks off in the whole before screwing the screw back in so it is tight.
What a rigamarole I had getting my new computer set up. I had used my email to set up a Microsoft account for my grandson to download a game a couple of years ago. Anyhow it made him the administrator so I had to go through a whole thing to get the computer set up as me. It took over 2 hours but I finally got it!
Tomorrow I’ll get all the stuff for school set up and maybe have some time to play with my Cricut. I have a couple of mugs to make.
I also may take a nice long nap tomorrow.
Tracey in Edmonton
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About Brain Injury ...
As most of you know, in March 2018 my husband had a workplace accident which resulted in a severe traumatic brain injury.
It was classed as severe because of the length of time he was in a coma (about 3 weeks) and because of the length of time he was in Post Traumatic Amnesia (about 7 weeks including the coma portion). It was also classed as severe because, in addition to the relatively large damaged portion in his left temporal lobe, and small damaged portion in his frontal lobe, they found Diffuse Axonal Injury.
Continued in the spoiler ...Regarding Post Traumatic Amnesia ...
"People who experience PTA for more than 24 hours are likely to have sustained a severe brain injury and to experience long-term complications, whereas PTA of less than 1 hour is likely to indicate a minor brain injury."
https://www.headway.org.uk/about-brain-injury/individuals/effects-of-brain-injury/post-traumatic-amnesia/
Regarding Diffuse Axonal Injury ...
"DAI describes the shearing, or tearing, of nerve fibers known as axons. This trauma usually results from the brain quickly shifting within the skull. Following a sudden impact, mechanical forces cause nerve fibers to stretch and tear.
Axons are the long, thread-like portion of neurons that conduct electrical impulses. They are responsible for communication between nerve cells. As such, damage to axons may impair their ability to communicate and help coordinate bodily functions, which can lead to severe disabilities.
DAI is the most common cause of coma, disability, and persistent vegetative state in people with TBI. Clinically, health experts define DAI as a loss of consciousness that lasts for 6 hours or more after the injury. It may also cause behavioral, social, physical, and cognitive changes in a person that may be temporary or permanent."
https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/diffuse-axonal-injury#definition
They say that when you meet one person with a severe brain injury ... you've met one person with severe brain injury. They're all unique and different.
One of the reasons for the uniqueness of brain injuries is that neuroscientists still don't know what each portion of the brain does. They've got a vague idea, but even the images posted by different places vary a bit.
Another reason is that sometimes things aren't stored or processed in the "usual" locations. For one reason or another, my brain might choose a different place to process something from your brain. And that is very hard for a neuroscientist to tell without doing extensive studies on us as individuals.
Other reasons that brain injuries are unique include things like genetics, intelligence level to begin with, amount of education and learning, life experiences, socio-economic status, previous brain injuries, alcohol and drug consumption, diet, exercise, etc.
Those things also factor into recovery.
Fortunately my husband had/has good genetics, has experienced a good socio-economic status, had a very good pre-accident intelligence level combined with education, learning and life experiences.
In my husband's case, according to several specialists the percentage of injury he sustained was about 35% - 38%. If you think about that ... you take your whole body, and permanently injury 35% - 38% of it. Pretty significant.
The largest part of the injury is, of course, the brain. But as we know from strokes etc., if you damage the brain, you'll often damage other parts of the body, and that is what has happened.
My husband's left leg is weak and doesn't have the same level of feeling as the other leg. He also kind of loses track of it, so he has to be very careful walking on uneven surfaces.
His right arm is the same way. In a person with a stroke, they'll often have one side affected, but in my husband's case, it is cross-body: left leg, right arm.
He has no sense of taste or smell.
He has double vision when he looks to the side.
He has vestibular issues, which he has treated from time to time.
He developed seizures a year after the injury and has to be on medication for life for those.
He seems to feel pain more than he used to.
He gets extremely fatigued very quickly.
He is much more emotional than he used to be.
He is easily overwhelmed by noise, crowds, new things, changes to routines, etc.
He loves routine.
So he can walk around (slowly) and he can ride a bicycle because the left leg sort of comes along for the ride. He can do the basic things occupational therapy they always test for like showering and personal care, preparing food, and doing basic household tasks. He can ride a bus and do a bit of shopping.
More specifically within the brain, however, there are further issues.
He has aphasia so he has trouble finding words and talking coherently, especially when he is tired. He reads (especially the news), but sometimes has trouble comprehending what he is reading (he misunderstands) and he forgets what he has read.
He also frequently perseverates (to repeat something insistently or redundantly) and in combination with his tendencies to be tangential and verbose, this means that he reads something in the news and then repeats it frequently and works it into conversations and waxes eloquent about it over and over and over for months. Then one day, he'll change the topic a bit and will dwell on that topic for the next several months.
If he gets stressed, he'll do this even more frequently and will work in some of his past topics.
Currently, his topic is the recession.
He is also very literal so won't get puns and jokes.
Outside of language difficulties, he struggles with short term memory and laying down new memories.
He also has executive difficulties. This part is hard to explain because it will vary with individuals, and we all experience some of these things occasionally. In my husband's case, he will show evidence of elements of what I've defined below every single day to the point where accomplishing things is difficult for him.
I think you would have had to know him before and after the injury to pick up on some differences. Other things you might notice only if you spent some time with him. And others are more readily obvious.
And it changes based on how fatigued or overwhelmed he is.
"To better understand what executive dysfunction is, it helps to know more about executive functions. The main executive functions are:
Working memory.
Cognitive flexibility.
Inhibition control."
https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/symptoms/23224-executive-dysfunction
"What are some examples of executive dysfunction?
Because executive functions involve so many processes inside of your brain, executive dysfunction can take many forms. Some examples of executive dysfunction include:
- Being very distractible or having trouble focusing on just one thing.
- Focusing too much on just one thing.
- Daydreaming or “spacing out” when you should be paying attention (such as during a conversation, meeting, class, etc.).
- Trouble planning or carrying out a task because you can’t visualize the finished product or goal.
- Difficulty motivating yourself to start a task that seems difficult or uninteresting.
- Struggling to move from one task to another.
- Getting distracted or interrupted partway through a task, causing you to misplace items or lose your train of thought (like leaving your keys in the refrigerator because you wanted a snack, but your hands were full, so you put your keys down inside the refrigerator and forgot about them).
- Problems with impulse control, like snacking when you’re trying to manage your diet.
- Struggling with thinking before you talk, causing you to blurt out the first thing that pops in your head without considering that it might hurt someone’s feelings.
- Having trouble explaining your thought process clearly because you understand it in your head, but putting it into words for others feels overwhelming."
https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/symptoms/23224-executive-dysfunction
"What is executive dysfunction?
People with injury to their prefrontal cortex can have difficulties with their executive function skills - when this happens, they are said to have executive dysfunction.
Executive dysfunction is also sometimes referred to as 'frontal lobe problems' or 'dysexecutive syndrome'.
The most common effects of executive dysfunction are summarised below:
Difficulties with motivation and initiation
A survivor may lose their sense of 'get up and go', making it difficult for them to start or complete tasks. This may be mistaken by others for laziness or disinterest. For example, a survivor may frequently be reminded about needing to book an appointment, but even though they intend to do it, they don't get started on it so it doesn't get done.
Difficulties with organisation
A survivor may struggle with making and sticking to plans. Thinking through the steps to get things done may be difficult for them. For example, a survivor may be unable to keep track of appointments and frequently get these muddled up.
Difficulties with flexible thinking
Adapting or changing behaviour, or switching between tasks may be difficult, as the survivor may become stuck or fixed on certain information or behaviours - this is called 'rigid thinking'. For example, thinking to lower the heat if food is unexpectedly cooking too quickly.
Difficulties with problem-solving
Thinking through problems and forming solutions may be difficult for the survivor. It may also be difficult for them to anticipate the consequences of their decisions. For example, a survivor may be unsure of what steps to take if they have lost their bank card.
Impulsivity
A survivor may act too quickly and impulsively without fully thinking through the possible consequences, for example spending most of their pay-cheque on something without considering the bills that need to be paid later.
Difficulties with planning
Thinking ahead and going through the various steps to complete an activity may be more difficult for the survivor. For example, it may be confusing for a survivor to follow the various steps needed to arrange and book a holiday."
https://www.headway.org.uk/about-brain-injury/individuals/effects-of-brain-injury/executive-dysfunction/
To sum up, it's kind of like living with someone who has dementia (and he may indeed have the early stages of dementia), Autism and ADHD combined.
But he has retained his math skills, his orientation skills (he knows where he is and knows this area better than I do), and his procedural memory (how to do things like ride a bicycle or use the correct utensils).
Machka in Oz
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Lisa: Nice setup. 🥰 the paintings
Tracey: Yay! For new computer. That should simplify things for your studies
Machka: If I have been out for a while, the first thing I do when I get home is put the kettle on, go to the bathroom, then have a coffee. If I’ve been shopping, the first thing I do is put the groceries away. Habits and routines 😝
Interesting info on brain injury.
Having a relaxed day. Will Skype with family after lunch.
☘️ Terri4 -
Machka - I know quite a few people with a lot of those difficulties. Several have ADHD or are on the spectrum. My DSIL seems to have a form of executive dysfunction, a sort of dyspraxia of the brain. I love her to bits, but she can be frustrating to be with for long. My son is ADHD, and on medication, G most definitely is like that, and my grandson is on the spectrum. Having all that at once, and to a severe level, must be very hard to live with. I find myself getting very impatient with G sometimes, because she struggles to do everyday things. I have to remind myself that it isn't within her conscious control. Strangely, she has a brilliant mind!
Lisa - I adore your curated arrangement.
Isn't it wonderful when the perfect thing jumps out at you when you are shopping. Your photo brought me joy and I'm sure it is doing the same for you.
DH is out today at cricket. Hooray! I have my Dahl Makhani out of the freezer ready for lunch.
Going to make Lamb Tagine for dinner as I can heat his portion up when he gets back. Green beans. I'm reading great books about the uplifting power of 'art', and how a sense of the numinous and connection is protective of your mental health. I was reading the last one this morning (at 5 am ) and cried my eyes out at one particularly beautiful passage. Then I listened to a podcast about joy.
Much love to all, Heather UK xxxxxxxx
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Rita-that asthma attack sounds so scary. Fortunately I have not experienced that. One of my nephews had them very bad when he was young and has grown out of the worst of it. Hope yours stays under control.
Machka-the brain is amazing. Given the injury it is impressive your DH functions as he does.
Heather-you cook the most amazing things. I'm making Italian season turkey burgers today (and I bought them pre-seasoned!).
I noticed KJ posted in October 22 bookmark a couple of days ago (showed up in my bookmarks with recent activity). She was responding to someone who she thinks is Gayle who was looking for current thread.
Fairly productive yesterday-hope to continue today. Just getting a variety of things done. They are coming tomorrow to replace faucet so I have everything cleared out from under sink. Today iroining, letterboxes, bath. All relatively short tasks but keeps things orderly and cleaned up. Hopefully I don't go down any rabbit holes! Yesterday I check out some eye glass frames (have appointment in a couple of weeks). I found one of the programs where it takes your picture and you can try them on. I did spend some time with this fascinating project-but I have several styles written down and have a better idea of what I think I want-so I count that as research.
Off to start whichever task strikes me first.
Take care all,
Ginny in Ohio5 -
cityjaneLondon wrote: »Machka - I know quite a few people with a lot of those difficulties. Several have ADHD or are on the spectrum. My DSIL seems to have a form of executive dysfunction, a sort of dyspraxia of the brain.
Much love to all, Heather UK xxxxxxxx
Does she have difficulty riding the bicycle?
Some of that, below, could be me!!
Although I think I've become more coordinated as I age.
Dyspraxia is a neurodevelopmental disorder of movement and coordination in which messages sent from the brain to the muscles are interrupted. It is often identified in early childhood, but can also come on later in life after an illness or acquired brain injury.
It causes problems with tasks such as handwriting or tying shoelaces, or with motor skills like catching or riding a bike.
In adults, dyspraxia can come on after a brain injury or stroke, or as a symptom of dementia.
https://www.healthdirect.gov.au/dyspraxia
Clumsy movement and tendency to trip over.
Poor hand-eye coordination.
Difficulty distinguishing sounds from background noise.
Notable lack of rhythm when dancing or exercising.
https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/151951#diagnosis_adultsHaving all that at once, and to a severe level, must be very hard to live with.
It's why I'm on antidepressants. Keeps my mood nice and stable.
M in Oz
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Machka - It's a form of mental dyspraxia that I think she has. I did find it online once, when I went looking for it. She was driving DH crazy with her inability to plot out an essay, or summarise a book and pick out salient information. She was doing a counselling course at the time and he was trying to help her. She is a very slow reader and finds even simple Internet research, for example, on Amazon, very difficult. It takes her ages to read a menu and make a decision. She often rings us up for help on simple decisions, like what wine to buy.
Fortunately for her, she rarely gives up and sticks with it to the end!
It is only when you watch someone struggling painfully with something you find second nature and very easy, that you realise how fortunate you are.
Heather UK xxxxxxxx5 -
Rori Good to see you post...One of the key take away I remember from Eating on the Wild Side is how our veggies are being modified to become sweeter to accommodate our sweet tooth. Ironically the more bitter a veggie is often means it has more nutrients. I like tangy and bitter foods. Also the more intense the color like purple as in blueberries and blackberries are good for us too. I am glad her suggestions for preserving fruits and veggies is helpful. I have to admit I have to look up how to set my storage bins for how much moisture is good for my fruits and veggies if when cleaning the bins I accidentally move the slide. I still cannot convince DH tomatoes are best left on the counter and stem up.4
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cityjaneLondon wrote: »Machka - It's a form of mental dyspraxia that I think she has. I did find it online once, when I went looking for it. She was driving DH crazy with her inability to plot out an essay, or summarise a book and pick out salient information. She was doing a counselling course at the time and he was trying to help her. She is a very slow reader and finds even simple Internet research, for example, on Amazon, very difficult. It takes her ages to read a menu and make a decision. She often rings us up for help on simple decisions, like what wine to buy.
Fortunately for her, she rarely gives up and sticks with it to the end!
It is only when you watch someone struggling painfully with something you find second nature and very easy, that you realise how fortunate you are.
Heather UK xxxxxxxx
Oops ... I mixed people up and thought you were talking about your daughter-in-law, the cyclist.
Sorry about your SIL. Does she also have dyslexia?
M in Oz0 -
A little tired on Friday morning, the last day of the conference ...
From the top of the Ferris Wheel in Brisbane ...
Machka in Oz
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2902900
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Morning ladies
Today is a new day...and ive messaged the new Mrs Wagner and had a nice chat...
These are her grandpups all dressed up for the festivities
Adorable aren't they?
They had a little rain so had to move inside ,but all went well...
Going to do some laundry today ..and some picking up..2 -
Hope it's a spiffy morning, afternoon, or evening to you all, wherever you may be... 🫡
Allie darlin' - I'm glad you made it through the day you've been dreading... Time to take a leaf out of Alfie's book! He doesn't care what day it is as long as someone feeds him, pets him and he gets to bark at things like leaves and other doggies. 🐶
Heather - I always get tickled when I see your joy in being able to revel in your spicy foods while your DH is off to cricket. It may be the ticket to a successful relationship, in the end... being able to enjoy our time with them and without them.
Machka - Thanks for the info on the brain and executive function. It's a continuing source of interest for me, and I know it's vital information for you and your husband. Love the pics!
Eight hours sleep for the first time in weeks! Two four-hour sessions with only a ten-minute wakeup in between... Trying to get myself back to a schedule... only two more days on the steroids, and the sleep disruptions are tapering off here at the lowest dose. Appointment with the gastroenterologist on Monday, hopefully no major changes in meds. Inching toward normal is fine.
Am Goldilocking it this morning, trying to find a comfortable seat, because eight hours of not going means I get a couple hours of going A LOT when I wake up. So... I had planned to create the chair cushions for the wood chairs and bar stools, as well as another one for my office chair anyway. Nice to walk in and start sewing...
Later y'all,
Love,
Lisa in AR
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Good morning ladies!
I went outside in the dark several times early this morning, attempting to see some Perseid Meteor Showers. It was a teensy bit hazy - I saw a couple faint tracers so I called it good.
Ginny - I forgot to mention, glad your Subaru is all fixed up. With the computers, these cars are getting smarter all the time. It's hard to keep up on this technology. When they get one that drives itself to the store, picks up groceries, comes back AND puts them away, I'll be first in line for a new one, lol. They probably already have it in some areas. Amazing to think my grandparents were born before cars were on the road. Teleporters must be just around the corner too.
Lisa - fabulous job getting those rooms organized. When a person is in the mood to put something together, things just click. Love the wall decoration. And congrats on the sleep.
Margaret - I just ordered "Eating on the Wild Side" from the library and it's on my Kindle.
Carol - HAPPY BIRTHDAY a day early in case I forget tomorrow. These phones and computers are maddening. I want my old wall phone back with the 20 ft cord.
Did Barbara just have a birthday too? I can't keep up. If so, HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY.
Allie - those dogs in Tuxedos are too cute. I am amazed you are able to remain friends with Tom and Elena through all of this, but I've known other gals who have done similar. Life is too short to hold a grudge. Good job. Keep up the planning for your trip.
Tracey - glad you bought the computer and got it set up. Learning patience and reading directions has been a challenge for me with this technology stuff.
Michele - wow, the prices on motels is a shocker. Must be busy season or something. Maybe Tay Tay Swift is giving a performance nearby.
Rori - have a great trip to NH. I know you will. Your "sweet gentleman" is a lucky guy. This teleporter repair lag is getting me down.
Rosemarie - You mentioned a while back you were decluttering. I remember I tried to do major decluttering after DH passed, I guess I felt I had to keep busy. I thought about doing some upgrades here in the house when I got the money, really changing it to "suit me". But that has ground to a halt, and I think I know why. I want things to remain the same for a while - not necessarily to preserve memories with him, but I realize I've been overwhelmed by change in the past year. I need some things to stay the same for a while. I might change my mind next year, but for now, I have peace with the stained carpeting and scuffed kitchen linoleum. That said, Lisa has inspired me to get after the "craft closet" when I do get in the mood, lol.
There are still a couple cans of DH's beer pushed back in the fridge. They can stay there. I might want to make beer bread some day. Besides, I can hear him say "why don't you throw that stale stuff out?" and I want him to know I can still be stubborn.
By the way, I do believe in fate. You mentioned you'd like a fella in your life again at some point. Me too. When the time is right, I think he'll show up. Just ask Rori .
Machka - thank you for sharing the Brisbane pictures. Beautiful city and I bet it was fun having a change of pace for a few days.
The chickie girls and I had a good yesterday evening. I let them out of their run once it was in the shade, around 5, and they stayed close to home. I put up more shade cloth to try to block the sun on the east and south side of their run. They were helping, lol. I chased off a little doe who decided to try green tomatoes and resprayed Liquid Fence on everything.
Ok time to get busy. Make it a wonderful day, ladies!
Lanette
SW WA State6 -
Recommended exercise: cardio 5 days 30 min 3/20
Strength all muscles 2 x 1/8 a week
Flexible (yoga, stretching) 1/8 a week 10 min
Balance 5 days 10 min 2/20
2023- Altruistic August
Word of the year: appreciate. Today I appreciate good people.10. Check in with someone who may be lonely or feeling anxious. Checked in with my son.
Meditation: daily. 9/31 (82%(started Feb)(94%,100%, 74%, 93%,100%)
Walking and exercising slowed down because of record heat this month.
1. cut back drinking and limit to 2 days a week. 7/8–(100%,100%,0%,0%,0%,0%,0%)
2. Average 7,000 steps a week. 5418,4157,(7,700,100%-9851,100%-9526,100%-9,559,100%, -8347,100%—7465,100%—6328,90%)
3. Update budget every 2 weeks 1/2 —(100%,100%,100%,100%,100%, 100%.100%)
4. Contact close family every week (4x) 169/208—(100%,100%,100%,50%, 83%, 100%, 100%)should be 154 by September 1)
5. Contact Donat and sibs once a month (8x)68/94 (100%,100%,100%,100%,100%,100%,100%,100%)
6. Weigh less last day of month compared to first until I reach 140. Start at 178.6,176,174.2,173.4,175.4,174,175.6 (100%,100%,100%,0%,100%,100%,0%)
7. Develop a journaling practice by aiming to journal at least 5 days a week. 5/15 (100%,88%,100%,100%,100%,93%,100%)
8. Read 12 books at least this year. 29/12 (100%)
9. Pay off credit card debt by January 2024 by making monthly payments to NDR/Reach Financial 8/12—(100%.100%,100%,100%,100%,100%,100%)
10. Continue building emergency fund at SLFCU (min$25 a month)$25+$25+$71+700+25+25 +25+25 (100%,100%,100%,100%,100%,100%,100%)
11. April started putting 4% on income in savings. 700,200,200, 107, 157,(100%,100%,100%,100%)
January Met —100%
February met —-90%
March met met —-90%
April met——86.36%
May met——-89%
June met—-99%
July met — met 81%
August met
September met
October met —
November met—
December met—
1. Set an intention to be kind to others (and yourself) this month. I plan to be kind to people I meet and to myself. Not just this month but all the time. It may not be every time, but I will try.
2. Send an uplifting message to someone you can’t be with. I will text my best friend who lives in Michigan, and my friend that lives in NY. Did this
3. Be kind and supportive to everyone you interact with. I did this!
4. Ask someone how they feel and really listen to their reply. I plan to try to remember to do this. Done!
5. Spend time wishing for other people to be happy and well. Will meditate and do this through a loving-kindness meditation.
6. Smile and be friendly to the people you see today. Will do!
7. Give time to help a project or cause you care about. I volunteer at Bottomless Lakes State park and also belong to the ‘Friends of’ group and am on the board as secretary. Does this count?
8. Make some tasty food for someone who will appreciate it. My DH does all the cooking. Perhaps i will look for something KETO to cook. Otherwise, we give food to our co-host often.
9. Thank someone you’re grateful to and tell them why. I will!
11. Share an encouraging news story to inspire others. Did this at ER when the diagnosis was given.
12. Contact a friend to let them know you’re thinking of them. Did this yesterday and will do again today.
13. No plans day! Be kind to yourself so you can be kind to others too. I need the rest!14. Take an actions to be kind to nature and care for our planet.
15. If someone annoys you, be kind. Imagine how they may be feeling.
16. Make a thoughtful gift as a surprise for someone.
17. Be kind online. Share positive and supportive comments.
18. Today, do something to make life easier for someone else.
19. Be thankful for your food and the people who make it possible.
20. Look for the good in everyone you meet today.
21. Donate unused items, clothes, or food to help a local charity.
22. Give people the gift of your full attention.
23. Share an article, book, or podcast you find helpful.
24. Forgive someone who hurt you in the past.
25. Give your time, energy, or attention to someone in need.
26. Find a way to ‘pay it forward’ or support a good cause.
27. Notice when someone is down and try to brighten his day. (My DH’s birthday. He always gets depressed on this day. Worse this year as he turns 70 today).
28. Have a friendly chat with someone you don’t know very well.
29. Do something kind to help in your local community.
30. Give away something to those who don’t have as much as you.
31. Share Action for Happiness with other people today.
RVRita in Roswell, NM
The best predictor of the future or future behavior is the past. If until this point the relationships, hobby, friendship, job, etc. has not served you in any positive regard, it likely won't in the future.
— YALDA SAFAI, MD, MPHA Word From Verywell
Sunk cost fallacy can be tricky to wrap your head around, and it’s not without nuance. For more clarity in these complex decision-making moments, completely disregard how much you’ve already invested so that it doesn’t hold influence. Then, look at the facts.
Are you satisfied? Have you repeatedly been met with dead ends? Is there still potential for a positive outcome if you continue investing your resources and energy? What are the benefits of walking away and opening a new door? These are the factors that should influence your decision rather than any previously sunk costs.3 -
Good morning all! I am here! August is always a kind of crazy month for me (business-wise). There is always the big shuffle of kids, as the older ones finish their summer "camps" and all descend upon my house for care and then the childcare parents who are teachers for a living are heading back to work a couple of weeks before the kids, so I also have their children back in my care. So it has been a full 12 kids here nearly every day; and it will be so until the 24th of this month when some of the bigs head back to school. In the past couple of weeks, along with our daily hikes, nature studies, playing, etc. two two year olds have been potty trained (yea!), two one and a half year olds have transitioned to napping on mats in the living room (rather in cribs in the bedrooms), and the two two year olds have also learned to walk on our walks while holding the stroller, rather than riding in the stroller. We had our final summer field trip on Friday. I only had five kids, all age four through six years. It made for a wonderful day, full of fun and exploration; because they can really put some miles in on those energetic little legs. I was half jogging to keep up with them. lol Needless to say, all I managed to do yesterday was my grocery shopping. lol SOOOOO tired!
I woke up last night hearing a commotion in my hall bathroom (right outside my bedroom). I just rolled over and went back to sleep. When I got up this morning, the bathroom door was locked, light on, so I figured someone was in there. AFter waiting about 15 minutes and not hearing any noise from the bathroom, I peeked in on my DYS and DH. They were both asleep...hmmmm...who is in the bathroom? I got the little pin that unlocks the door and opened the door. Peeked in...no one. A moth on the wall, who I promptly grabbed and tossed out the window. DH woke up a few minutes later and told me that he trapped a moth in the bathroom! He locked the door so I wouldn't go in and get bombarded/scared by it. This made me laugh (to myself) as he is the one afraid of bugs. Anyway, I made us both breakfast this morning. He had an omelet with peppers, shallots, cheese, and corned beef hash inside. I had one with three thinly sliced fried green tomatoes, portabello mushrooms, shallots, peppers, seeded grape tomatoes, and feta cheese. It was delish.
I have been helping DD and her husband with house hunting. They send me pics of homes that they are looking at and I drive through the area and past the home to get a feel for the neighborhood. I am just stunned that they are looking at homes that are no bigger than the three bedroom ranch that I live in and the cost is on average between $280K and $325K. Yikes! I don't know how young people can afford to move out at these prices. My youngest will probably be with us until he gets married. Which is fine; but he really wants his own place.
Tracey- So sorry to hear of your daughter's child/empty womb. Hugs to her and the family.
Flea- I have sent the picture of Fern and her backstory to the Belding Museum. I am waiting to hear back from them. I am also waiting to be accepted onto the Belding Community facebook page, so that I can post there and see if the photo, names or the photographer's name will look familiar to anyone.
Rita- Sorry to hear about your health scare! Hope you are feeling better and the heat and asthma calm down.
Lanette- I am really enjoying your "chicken diaries". I also love to see your insight on life after loss because your situation with your late husband is so similar to what I am currently going through with my DH. The lack of appetite is distressing for me. He eats about one meal a day (of smaller portions) and then sips on different flavored waters or juices. And I don't mean constantly sips; just taking in perhaps 20-30 oz of liquid each day. His bad RA days far outnumber the good ones. I nag (just a bit) and tell him that if he'd eat more protein (or even more. period.) he might have more good days... Oh well. He is en compos mentis , so I will let him judge his intake and care. But definitely a hard path to travel; which is why I treasure your thoughts. Thank you!
Pip, pip hooray! You are a leader in every sense my friend! Also inspiring the wisdom you have given your niece!
Machka Your conference looked like a nice change of scenery! And hello fellow 80s girl! I remember wearing the same things. Funny though, that I have no pictures of me dressed in typical 80s fashion. The pics I have of me from that time period were taken at either church or family functions and I am dressed up in dresses in the majority of them. Of course, the very ruffly Laura Ashley ruffly look was also very 80s.
Heather Your family certainly has their fair share of writers! How fun! And you all seem to write in different genres. Very cool!
On marriage- I think everyone has their "lines" that are drawn, and they all seem to be different for everyone. For instance, my daughter (raised by me with the way my brain thinks) has set far different "lines" in her marriage. Things that she thinks she would "work through" are absolute deal busters for me and my DH. Machka's memes really sunk home about changing in a marriage. It took me until I was about 48 to realize that I can't change anything about my DH and it is wrong of me to think that THAT is my problem. I took a long hard look at our marriage and myself and realized that I am the one who changed in our marriage. Plus, my desires in life hadn't changed since I was a teenage and I was harboring a lot of anger towards my DH/kids who I thought were holding me back from what I wanted. With perimenopause and the wonderful hormonal changes, I also became much more vocal about things and developed a backbone for the first time in my life and started to put my own opinions, thoughts, and desires out there and verbally back them up. SO...seeing/realizing these changes in me, made me very grateful for having a man who stood by all of my changing. I have also since learned/realized that the kindness and understanding that I want from him, is a two way street. He is a person who needs to be told that he is needed and valued. He needs this on almost a daily basis. I have found that my words and deeds of affirmation to him will produce a much better version of him. I also learned to be content where I am and to find adventures closer to home. I find if I look at the world through the eyes of the children that I care for, there is so much to be amazed by and so many beauty and joy to be experienced quite literally in my own back yard.
More of you I want to respond to, but the last of my butterflies just emerged from chrysalis and I promised my grandsons I would viber them so that they could see it and watch me release him outside. Love and hugs to all who need or want them. Welcome newbies! ttfn xoxoxo KJ (Kelly)11 -
Lisa - the dahl makhani is very mild. He just doesn't really appreciate a big bowlful of lentils! He is fine with them in small doses. He is not a fan of 'stodgy' food. Nor very spicy, though he can tolerate a bit. I adore any kind of pulses. And hot, hot HOT!!!
Plus I get to play my 'sacred' music at top volume while I am cooking. Today I played Allegre's Miserere, from Kings College Chapel. It has to be the Roy Goodman version. The 12 year old boy with muddy knees under his cassock from
playing rugby . It was on Soul Music.
Then I played Tallis - Spem in Alium, from the same album. Wonderful. It's sung in a circle around the audience.
Then Jan Gabarek, Officium. Parce Mihi Domine. This has a rather different meaning to me as it was the album a lover played to me .
All that just about took me through cooking the lamb tagine and being nice to DH by washing up for a change. All that spirituality must have gone to my head.
Machka - She writes a perfectly spelled email or text, so I don't know. She got through all her courses until the pre-MA level, when they suggested she call it a day at that level. She is very happy and still practising counselling at 70.
Love Heather UK xxxxxxxx1 -
Update, I’m feeling better but sleeping is difficult with the steroids they put me on. At least its only for 3 more days. I’m still having difficulty breathing and keeping my rescue inhaler nearby. I can’t figure out what triggered it though. Nothing really different here. Could be just all the dust and ‘stuff’ from fires, winds, agricultural ‘stuffs’, etc in the air. So wearing a mask when walking outside to help bring it down.
I was woken up very early, well for me as I haven’t been sleeping well, for someone who wanted to buy ice and milk this morning. Told them no milk but can get them ice in a little bit as I just woke up. They were ok with that. I got dressed, went to their campsite and found out they wanted 6 bags of ice then went to get the ice. I wasn’t going to go early but these nice people had given my DH and I a big plate of Mexican steak, beans, corn, and French fries when I got them ice the evening before. Well this time, I had to go get them change, as I forgot the change bag, and when I got to their site, they gave me breakfast too! Nice family! LOL. Now going to do my other campground duties and maybe a walk, then a nap!
RVRita in Roswell, NM8 -
Barbara - I had to chuckle at Lupper. My friends and I use that term as well.
Okie in the TX Hill Country.1 -
Rita - im glad they took good care of you and most definitely a nap..
Yes today is a much better day..and feeling much better
Got laundry done and will take it down to the dryer and getbmy mail from yesterday.2 -
Lanette- I am really enjoying your "chicken diaries". I also love to see your insight on life after loss because your situation with your late husband is so similar to what I am currently going through with my DH. The lack of appetite is distressing for me. He eats about one meal a day (of smaller portions) and then sips on different flavored waters or juices. And I don't mean constantly sips; just taking in perhaps 20-30 oz of liquid each day. His bad RA days far outnumber the good ones. I nag (just a bit) and tell him that if he'd eat more protein (or even more. period.) he might have more good days... Oh well. He is en compos mentis , so I will let him judge his intake and care. But definitely a hard path to travel; which is why I treasure your thoughts. Thank you!
On marriage- I think everyone has their "lines" that are drawn, and they all seem to be different for everyone. For instance, my daughter (raised by me with the way my brain thinks) has set far different "lines" in her marriage. Things that she thinks she would "work through" are absolute deal busters for me and my DH. Machka's memes really sunk home about changing in a marriage. It took me until I was about 48 to realize that I can't change anything about my DH and it is wrong of me to think that THAT is my problem. I took a long hard look at our marriage and myself and realized that I am the one who changed in our marriage. Plus, my desires in life hadn't changed since I was a teenage and I was harboring a lot of anger towards my DH/kids who I thought were holding me back from what I wanted. With perimenopause and the wonderful hormonal changes, I also became much more vocal about things and developed a backbone for the first time in my life and started to put my own opinions, thoughts, and desires out there and verbally back them up. SO...seeing/realizing these changes in me, made me very grateful for having a man who stood by all of my changing. I have also since learned/realized that the kindness and understanding that I want from him, is a two way street. He is a person who needs to be told that he is needed and valued. He needs this on almost a daily basis. I have found that my words and deeds of affirmation to him will produce a much better version of him. I also learned to be content where I am and to find adventures closer to home. I find if I look at the world through the eyes of the children that I care for, there is so much to be amazed by and so many beauty and joy to be experienced quite literally in my own back yard.
ttfn xoxoxo KJ (Kelly)
Kelly - I want to hit "Insightful", "Inspiring", "Like" and "Hug". All of them. I wish I had read your post ten or twenty years ago, but who knows if it would have sunk in then. It took me a long time to reach similar conclusions, but glad I did.
Our DH's needs for daily reminders they are needed and valued are SO TRUE. Even if we don't feel like it and are looking through the cupboard for cast iron skillets, telling them something every day to build them up goes a long way. Even if they don't reciprocate - I think they do in other ways.
It took me a long time to grow up enough to not resent being "ignored" when it came to compliments from him and I'd churn on his occasional criticism far too long. I had so much to be thankful for! I should have bonked myself with that skillet to knock some sense into myself, lol. ( I can hear DH saying "told you so!" )
My DH never drank water except a gulp to take his pills. Everything else was either a Pepsi and beer or two. I was shocked when I started paying attention to his liquid and protein intake.
How exciting to see the butterflies emerging - helping your daughter house-hunt sounds like fun!
Lanette
4 -
Did Kettleworx DVD Resistance then went to WalMart for a few things. Came home and had breakfast then walked to Food Lion, they have peaches on sale and they are the cling free ones. I might stop there tomorrow on my way home from work since I also need to stop at Dollar General to get distilled water.
It is OK to go to Denise’s on Sun, Mon and Tues. Unfortunately, we won’t get to see much of her. But on the bright side she said that Pete would be home so we’ll get to see him. I’ll probably make shake & Bake chicken. That’s something that PJ can help with.
Tracey – good luck with that computer. When our kids were small (from the time they were infants) we took a two day trip (so that involved an over-night bag for each of the kids, not to mention us) to see the in-laws every year. Let me tell you, it was FUN the years of potty training….lol Denise has yet to come down here. Pete has only been to our house three times in 15 years. So your daughter not finding time is no surprise at all.
Lanette – no, there isn’t anything special going on in the town. We looked at the prices for the hotels as far out as the end of Oct. No change. We even looked at the prices for hotels within a 25 mile area. No change. The reason? Now people are doing more “leisure travel” on the weekends. Supply and demand. So that explains why prices are so much higher on Fri and Sat. than on Sun. Used to be that hotels were more expensive Mon to Thurs because of the business travels. Not any more. That’s according to the manager at the hotel.
Rori – safe travels
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Michele NC3
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