WOMEN AGES 50+ FOR AUGUST 2023

margaretturk

(((Tracey)))

Whidislander

barbiecat wrote: »

Rebecca My hubby and I share laundry duties. He runs the laundry through the washer and dryer and puts it on the dining room table. I do all the folding. It's a great system for us. Also, we plan one meal together for each day and the rest is "find it and fix it" We grocery shop together so we sure that we have everything we need for our meals. Jake is the one with the skillet that I am not allowed to touch

🌻🌼🌞😃Barbie in NW WA

That one pan that's their favorite.💖. Tonight I made breakfast for dinner. I had a small pan that I normally use for my eggs. I had butter in it ready to make his scrambled eggs. He proceeded to turn it on hi,, and added some precooked ham we keep in the freezer. So then it looked like he's burnt the butter, things were popping and splattering! Poured in the eggs and it calmed down, but looked like a grand mess to me. I am a calmer cook. Geez!
Rebecca
Whidbey
Wa

Whidislander

Tracy hugs dear friend for your daughter, and family. Just so sad.😥🙏
Rebecca
Whidbey
Wa

bwcetc

Tracey … there are no words … my heart just hurts for you all. Praying for you and your family

evie1958

Tracey, so sorry about your daughter's bad news. Gentle hugs for all of you.....
Evelyn, Vancouver Island

kymarai

Tracey please add my hugs and prayers to the others.
Margaret The part about businesses failing do to unwillingness to change struck a serious cord with me. I keep trying to get things changed that will make things work better all around for us, but keep hitting the "we have always done it this way" wall. I will keep trying though (subtlety).
Cooking- The first and last thing my DH cooked for me was scrambled eggs and toast after I had a procedure in 1999. He was already blind, but managed. When he says he is cooking now, it means we are eating out. I like variety in meals, but need them to be quick . We eat a lot of breakfast for dinner.
Christine so wonderful that you are enjoying exercise with mom and daughter!

I learn so much from all of you. I am proud of myself this week for just getting a few things done. I had to pep talk that it would only take 5 minutes, but I got them done. I am not routine. I am often overwhelmed. I had been doing great with water, but have been struggling this past week. I will try to take a page from Barbie and figure out cues for water.

Thank you all for being here!


Kylia in Ohio

GodMomKim

Tracey and family (((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))

Pans - when I was a kid my Mom was the cook, and a bit of a fancy cook, and quite talented. When I was 8 my Dad's dad died. Grandpa owned a business in Southern California - Riverside Iron Works, so my Dad decided to leave his white color engineering job and take over the business. He moved down in May we moved down in late June after school. By September the business was failing and Dad got offered his old job back. He moved back to N. California and we moved back in December. Shortly after we moved back and mom got the kitchen set up - over dinner my dad said to mom " I am not sure why we had to move all those pans up and back. I used one fry pan and every thing on high for all the cooking I did and it was fine. I thought Mom was going to wack him with a pan. He had to cook dinner the next night and he never cooked again. One fry pan add 1 cube butter, one slice bologna, one egg, one piece of bread turn on high cook until all is light brown - flip take off the stove grab a fork so you don't even need dishes. My mom barely let him in the kitchen after that....

Kim in N. California

pipcd34

281281

LisaInArkansas

The napocalypse began this afternoon at four, and if I'd waited five minutes longer, I'd have been curled up asleep on the hallway floor on the way to lay down. Resistance was futile! Back up at 4 p.m., Corey left work a little early, three rain days have made it where he could get caught up!

Took a shower, ate dinner, went back to bed at 7, slept a couple hours, and about to go try to sleep a couple more. All the sleepless nights are gathering steam to run me over!

Later,
Love,
Lisa in AR

Snowflake1968

Lisa - Don’t those storage areas get filled fast. I have to be so careful in our limited space.
I love your sense of humour.

Heather - I think I still have some toddler toys to get rid of here as well.

Carol - I could go into the campus to use their computers for classes. If I don’t get the loan by the weekend I may do that next week. It’s about 30 minutes away though so would prefer not to.

Margaret - that sounds like an interesting book.

Machka - I can use the chat, but no one does. I’m thinking next week when it is just the EA course will be better.
Is this the first time your husband has stayed home since his accident?

Annie - I hope that your Dad gets things switched over to you soon. You will be in a terrible mess.
You are in such a stressful position. Hugs to you.

I do most of the housework and laundry. The truth of the matter is that I enjoy cleaning and tidying and get upset if DH tries to help. I also do the cooking, but I only ever make supper everything else is fend for yourself. I was pleasantly surprised the last two mornings as he had coffee ready for me!

Rebecca - I had completely forgotten about that Judd’s song, thanks for the reminder of it.

Christine - in 2018-2019 I took swimming lessons and haven’t been in a pool since. My DH and I were talking about it last week that I would start again and this week we had a notice that the pool is closed until October.

Barbara - in the food safety course so took we were taught that it is best to let dishes air dry and not to use towels for sanitary reasons.

Terri - I loved the pictures. It looks like a fun day.

Kylia- I am struggling with water too. I start drinking some, it gets warm and I end up not drinking it.

Thank you all so much for your thoughts. I will tell my daughter tomorrow. She knows I’ve been sharing her journey on here.
My son in law is just amazing. They drive to their appointment today in separate vehicles as he has to work tomorrow and she had to have another infusion. They live 5.5 hours away from the clinic. She was going to stay down tonight and drive up tomorrow.
When she told me her news I was worried about the two of them having to make that long drive alone with their thoughts.
He rented a car trailer, loaded her car on it and they drove together. I’m so glad, I know he is as devastated as she is.
It’s so hard when you can’t fix something for your children.
I would give anything to be able to fix this.

I went to the doctor today, she is retiring at the end of December. I don’t know where I’ll find another one like her. Family doctors are very hard to find here. She would have been my doctor for 25 years in May 2024 and I will so miss her.

I decided to go to ceramics tonight, I just needed a distraction. Apparently we all did, it was a cry fest tonight. One lady is struggling with an addicted son, one has a failing Mom. It is good that I have made these friendships though, it is the reason I started. I wanted to make friends.

Well ladies it is after 10 and I better shut it down for the night.
I hope tomorrow is a better day.
Tracey in Edmonton

LisaInArkansas

Tracey - Your daughter's husband is more than just a keeper, isn't he. His love for Kaitlyn shows in everything, and making sure she's OK is his first priority. That's how marriage is supposed to be... My heart is with them on their trip.

Rebecca - I have been known to use Corey's cast iron pans against him (not like smacking him, though! ) He was giving me gyp about something in the kitchen, and I told him, "Keep it up, buddy, I'll put your cast iron pans in the dishwasher!" Those are his precious...

Katla - Always good to see your posts.

Debbie wrote: Lisa- I am still trying to find the answers. I thought I had figured things out but then things changed that were out of my hands.
I want things to change but right now(again) is not the time to push for big changes. I can't be the one that pushes him over his limit and he does something drastic which he has been close to almost the last 15 months, since dealing with his mom full time.
Things have to change but I feel I have waited 27 yrs for it to change, what is another 6 months or what ever it will be(have been saying this for years now, something dramatic keeps coming up so I put up with things longer)

Debbie, it gave me a start when you said "waited 27 years for it to change." New Year's Eve, 2007, I was sitting in a hotel in Little Rock on layover - I was a flight attendant. I had tried everything to fix my 27-year marriage, including having a gastric bypass, losing 166 pounds, antidepressants, therapy, you name it. I was on the phone with my brother, and told him I was about to give up on my marriage, but I had decided to wait until I was 50, three years down the road, to see if it was fixable. His answer to me was "Why? What's going to change in the next three years that hasn't changed yet?" It stuck in my head, and when I went home from that trip is when I started making preparations to leave.

Change is HARD. Change is always going to be hard. And until I fell out of love with my first husband, I couldn't leave. Not sure you want to hear all this, or that you're ready for it. Keep talking it through, dear. I have faith you'll do the right thing for you, and whether that is to stay or to go, it's OK. It really is your choice.

Christine - @hessiondesign4 Welcome! So pleased that your mom and your daughter are able to truly enjoy the time in the pool as well, and that you were able to get past your previous issues with water. Well done on keeping your weight the same for a number of months! It's a triumph of no small proportions... you'll get a lot of advice here to start tracking your food (if you aren't already). Drop in any time!

Can't remember who noted that their Fitbit wasn't able to see or calculate their calorie burn correctly for swimming. I've learned that it doesn't do well picking up any exercise automatically, so I select that exercise when I'm ready to start walking, or get on the elliptical, or working out, and then stop it manually on the Fitbit when I'm done.

Went back and looked, and barring a couple of exceptions, I've slept less than two hours at a stretch over and over again for more than two weeks. Time in between varies from five minutes to a few hours during the night. Six more days on the prednisone, and hopefully after that, I'll be able to sleep again. I miss it!

Have a grand Thursday, my dears.

Love y'all,
Lisa in AR

grandmallie

Aww Lisa- gee hope you get some uninterrupted sleep soon.
Debbie- what Lisa said..I filed for divorced when my kids were younger ,because I deserved more. And the way it sounds ,you do too.. you put up with so much from your MIL and your husband ..not my place to say.. but start squirreling away money and do what you need to do for yourself..our future isn't promised

kymarai

TerriRichardson112

☘️

ginnytez

Debbie-I understand your position and hesitancy due to his other issues. I was in the same place with my husband (although he had other issues). I came up mentally with what was my line-and he did not cross it. My kids had asked me to not give up on him because they were concerned he would die. He was the father of my sons and we had good times before his illness took over. I held him while he was dying and told him I had no regrets and I meant it. It is a very personal decision and only you can decide what is correct for you and when it is right. Once I decided to stay I stopped complaints for the most part and that seemed to help.

pipcd34

282282

SophieRosieMom

ginnytez wrote: »

Debbie-I understand your position and hesitancy due to his other issues. I was in the same place with my husband (although he had other issues). I came up mentally with what was my line-and he did not cross it. My kids had asked me to not give up on him because they were concerned he would die. He was the father of my sons and we had good times before his illness took over. I held him while he was dying and told him I had no regrets and I meant it. It is a very personal decision and only you can decide what is correct for you and when it is right. Once I decided to stay I stopped complaints for the most part and that seemed to help.

Ginny- I'm getting goosebumps here. A lot of this was my story.

Several times throughout my marriage, I was packed up, but stopped before I got out the door. I mentally removed myself from the situation, made a list of pro's and con's. I knew his chances of changing to be what I considered the perfect husband were slight, but I could choose to see things differently. It took me years to realize this.

At one point in my life, a good friend said "if you hate him that much, why don't you just leave him?" She had been through 2 divorces, and even with that advice, looked back in regret and she wasn't happy, that didn't fix her life and her ex's went on to have very happy lives without her. She remained lonely and miserable, and drifted in and out of bad relationships. That opened my eyes. I didn't hate him, why did I spend so much time putting him down? And dragging myself down in the process??

It didn't stop me from "venting" from time to time, but things fell back into perspective quickly. We had shared an interesting and good life, having made it through job losses, illness, and other events that seemed insurmountable at the time. But above all, we were friends.

And I also had lines he knew he'd better not cross. They involved jeopardizing our finances and his questionable friends who, at the time, were bordering on illegal (the laws have now changed if you get my drift.)

He had demons from an abusive childhood, teenage mistakes and Vietnam. It wasn't my job to exorcise them. My job was to support him and be there for him, and pray he'd work through them. I had my own demons too, and he had his own lines for me as well. So it ended up we worked through them together. It took years. I am grateful for him and the lessons our life together taught me.

As he lay dying last year, I told him I loved him, I'd miss him terribly, and I thanked him for giving me a good life. No qualifiers, no criticism, no regrets. I meant every word. I walked away from the hospital realizing my best friend was now gone. He had been slowly leaving me the past few years, but this was final.

I still talk to him, nearly every day, and I hear the best part of him replying in my mind. He laughs and slaps his knee. He teases. He had a great sense of humor. He often says "you can figure this out. How would I have handled it?"

Maybe counting my blessings has made this widowhood thing a little easier for me.

Make it a fabulous day, ladies.

Lanette
SW WA State

Machka9

Snowflake1968 wrote: »

I’ll catch up later but thought I would pop on to say that our daughter had bad news today.
There is a gestational sac, but there is no baby.
The sac has been giving all of the positive pregnancy tests and was showing on the ultrasound she had last week normally.

I am heartbroken for them.
Tracey

So sorry.

Anniesquats100

Good morning ladies!

Divorce or Stay - what a heavy topic. There's a huge gray area in between with no clear answers. I was lucky in that when I made my choice (divorce) I had no regrets. It was tough financially for awhile, but I never once missed him.

Anyway, today is a new challenge. Actually tomorrow is the challenge; I have three different appointments. I'm afraid of what the vet might say. But hopefully Teddy gets this collar off and things can get back to normal.

Today we are looking at thunderstorms again.

Have a good day,

Annie in Delaware

kymarai

Lannette and Ginny HUGS to both and wonderful advice. I am the only one of my Philippines circle of friends divorced. All of them considered it. My advice to them was similar to yours. My ex and I remain friendly, had really good times together, but we're both much happier apart. My friends have made theirs work. I get so aggravated with my current DH, but my life wouldn't be better without him. So I try to look for his good qualities more often.

Love all you ladies and your supportive nature!

Kylia in Ohio