WOMEN AGES 50+ FOR DECEMBER 2023

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  • pipcd34
    pipcd34 Posts: 17,361 Member
    524524
  • skuehn48
    skuehn48 Posts: 3,074 Member
    <3
  • cityjaneLondon
    cityjaneLondon Posts: 12,792 Member
    edited December 2023
    Rosemarie - Big hugs! <3 You are going through exactly the same thing as my friend L. Today is two years since her partner died suddenly. Her overwhelming grief is only now beginning to be copable with and she still hasn't done much decluttering at all. Her partner's stuff is everywhere. I know she wants to, but she is paralysed.
    The course that DrKatie recommends should be a good one. It works on the idea of 'body doubling', in that you are effectively doing it with mentors and other people, which helps enormously. Jan 13th. I watch their normal videos all the time and have gained great insight and support from them. I have Dana's book, 'Decluttering at the Speed of Life', which is excellent.
    My friend G has used a hired 'body double', who is just a student she found on local FB. He doesn't make decisions, but is there with her, and can carry heavier objects. She can't do it on her own, but finds another person just being there very helpful. He is a student, so very cheap.
    I'm glad you have the Facebook group. Lean on anything and anyone you can. The friendly faces of Cas, Dana, and Minimal Mom, have got me through many a difficult moment, just for company in a dark night. Remi Clog is also very likeable.
    Wish I could be your body double! <3 I have done it a bit on WhatsApp with L, by just getting her to send before and after photos of her kitchen drawers, and being a cheerleader when she sold a wok on Facebook. It is very slow going though.
    Join the Take Your House Back group before the offer expires. You are worth it!

    Lots of love, Heather UK xxxxxxxx
  • Machka9
    Machka9 Posts: 25,693 Member
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  • TerriRichardson112
    TerriRichardson112 Posts: 19,153 Member
    Rosemarie: Lots of good advice given already. Grief is very personal. I’m sure your son would want you to be comfortable in your own home. Ask him for help.

    I’m planning a day of general decluttering, and putting items away. DH has his Badminton lunch today, so I will be uninterrupted 😝

    🤗🤗🤗 and 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻 for those who need them.

    🙋‍♀️ Miele failte to the newbies.

    ☘️ Terri
  • Machka9
    Machka9 Posts: 25,693 Member
    edited December 2023
    Anniesquats100 wrote: »
    Good morning ladies!

    Well, the hospice nurse says mom is down to a few days left. So the task is to keep her sedated and comfortable. I am sleeping on the chair again and dosing her every three hours.

    Dad is more and more divorced from reality. He asked about chemotherapy for her last night. We decided together not to do that a few weeks back. The minister is coming today. Dad said he didn't want to do a final blessing yet, because he wasn't ready to " give up". But we gave up on healing weeks ago when we decided on hospice. Dad's dementia has erased the uncomfortable discussions. Now he has to accept her death all over again.

    My sister goes home on Thursday, unless things change. So I would like a sitter for an hour in the morning, for my medical appointment, and for an hour and a half in the afternoon for horseback riding, if I can swing that. Maybe dad can do it, maybe not. My sister was getting mom and dad to sit together, and now Dad keeps saying Mom wants to sit up. She can't, she is dead weight. And he can't manage her alone. I'm afraid he will try and she will end up on the floor again.

    My approach is to let her sleep. Just hold her hand once in awhile. I think I have already been through goodbye.

    I'm afraid Dad will become unmanageable. But first we get through this. The hospice nurse is coming back today, and the minister, and a friend is dropping off soup. I need to go get groceries early. I guess my goal today is to manage dad, and keep mom comfortable. I was sort of relying on the minister to counsel dad, but it's too easy for him to withdraw. And my other goal is to put some pants on mom and maybe a clean top before the minister arrives.

    I wrote another book, sorry. Thank you all for your patience and compassion.

    Have a great day!

    Annie in Delaware

    dtxsxmk38vtg.jpg


  • auntiebk
    auntiebk Posts: 2,619 Member
    Gratitudes:
    Monday 12/11: GodDaughter M and her kids in my life… just a little ;)
    Rita when Joe and I married, I got my first washer/dryer set, and swore like Scarlett that as God was my witness I’d never go to the laundromat again!
    Barbie wish I’d done that 8AM Saturday contact with Mama. Yours about the schedule and investing our time/selves in what is really important.
    Michele “Yippee!!!! We made the pierogi today AND ONE BROKE!!!!” :laugh: Bet I know what happened to it. “5000 sq ft” house? WOW. :noway: When we went from 3600 to 1400 thought I’d died and gone to heaven.
    Kelly TV interview and starting a book? WOW! You do not sound like a crazy person who lets kids play with trash, you sound like an intelligent woman inspiring the kids in her care in imaginative ways. Bravissima!
    Heather, Terri thanks for the wastage/weight bearing reminder. Thankful that my strengthening PT doesn’t trigger my shin pain. Seems like the flexing/stretching exercises could be the culprit as it returned (mildly) this week.
    Lanette I’m sure your right about the walking workouts and balance, as well as farmer grandmothers. Wherever did you find your Christmas tree? :laugh: “I didn't carry weights when I was "street walking".” ROTFLMAOWMP!
    Kay :love: your Christmas outfit. Insightful seven core areas.
    Belated welcome @maureenbarry750 ! Those are two powerful motivations.
    Pip :love: your back patio decorations and plant shelves.
    Belated best birthday wishes Ginny!
    Allie, Lisa, Michele: Katla is in a safe place with her daughter and grands nearby, but misses her mfp friends and Oregon. Don’t know how her husband is doing.
    Kim good to see you posting. Our firehouse kept its landline for the same reason, but recently the carrier switched from copper to fiber/voip so if the power fails due to disaster so will the landline. Time to make friends with the local ham radio club ;}
    Carol so sorry about the Walmart delivery. Hope you used a credit card and can dispute the charge since the product was never received.
    Rosemarie sorry to hear you are so very tired. You might not feel “depressed” but you’ve been through a great loss and this may be your body’s way of coping. After Papa passed, Mama slept the entire summer. ((hugs))
    Luanne in Shenandoah Valley “Well, I'm logging my meals. That's a start, right? Awareness?” YES! Awareness is the crucial first step. Well done!
    Machka thanks for the dehydration/cartilage/inflammation info.
    Heather, Ginny and Betsy, yours to Rosemarie. Well said.
    Through pg 29, time to snooze.
    12/10: Move: ZERO sets PT, , Jeopardy walking. Steps:7259
    Fuel: sugar in vs mfp=6 CI<CO net=205 vits=1
    Live: Joe, readings, BP, AF, ptT, ptS, H, church and council, shopped Gold Beach craft fair. Wt:129.0
    Later, lighter, lovelies!
    Barbara, the Southern Oregon Coastie AHMOD x8zcp1ya37k1.gif
    December: Move more: chair yoga, line dance, dailyish PT, play with dogs.
    Fuel better: less sugar, CI<CO, dailyish vitamins.
    Live NOW: dailyish time with Joe, readings, meditate 3 minutes/day. Open heart and mind before mouth.
    2023: Be of good cheer.
  • cityjaneLondon
    cityjaneLondon Posts: 12,792 Member
    Max is here. He arrived in a downpour and his anorak was soaking wet. Luckily the inside stayed dry. It's on the radiator now. I will order an Uber to get to the restaurant. Not the day for braving the weather. Wind and rain. :#:o
    I can hear him and John chatting away downstairs. :D<3

    Annie - My thoughts are with you. <3<3<3

    Love to everyone, Heather UK xxxxxxxx
  • kymarai
    kymarai Posts: 3,733 Member
    Good Tuesday,
    Rosemarie I just wanted to jump into your car with you and hold you when i read your post! (((HUGS)))I am late to give suggestions and it seems a lot of us are of like minds. Even one thing at a time like the mantle is great. You have to eat the elephant one bite at a time. I love Cas and Dana! Cas with Clutterbug helped me realize I am not lazy or disorganized (most of the time) , I just have a different organizing style than my DH. When I needed to organize "my" room years ago, I put everything out in the hall, then figured out what and how things went back in. I can't do this when DH is home. He keeps everything, usually in twos or threes! While your son may be "on vacation" I agree with asking him for some help. He may surprise you. Maybe ask him to help in the area you spend the most time in outside of the bedroom. I love Machka's (?)suggestion of putting things in a different room that you are unsure of just to clear a space for you. We are all offering hugs and support. Pop in often if only to say you need a hug.

    Barbara[b/]- Thank you for Katla update. I know she misses Oregon, but am happy she is in a safe place.

    [bIAnnie     Continued hugs for you also (((HUGS))) You are between a rock and a hard spot. I think finding someone to sit with your dad, even after mom passes, is a great idea. Maybe the minister could come in once or twice a week to visit for an hour or so to give you some time. You are doing an amazing job caring for them both. Remember to care for you too! You are important to us.


    I am feeling better. Need to figure out cause for yeasts. So frustrating.

    I use few chemicals in my house...dishwasher detergent and toilet bowl cleaner. I use mainly Norwex products. Any suggestions for a natural cleaner for cabinets and flat surfaces? I am looking forward to a deep clean when Christmas comes down. I realized to other day that my hallway wall still has the dirt on it from where my German Shepard use to lay against the wall. I can keep things picked up, but dusting or deep cleaning are low on my list which isn't good since DH is allergic to dust mites. So suggestions would be great! Thank you!

    I need to set up bloodwork appointment. Ugh. Procrastination rearing it's head again. Need to get moving for today.

    Lots of love and respect for all of you ladies!

    Kylia in Ohio where winter has arrived for the second day
  • kymarai
    kymarai Posts: 3,733 Member
    edited December 2023
    Rosemarie- Yay! One small step at a time!
  • Machka9
    Machka9 Posts: 25,693 Member
    Rosemarie2972 wrote: »
    Annie: Good Morning. I hope you were able to get some sleep. I hope you take time to eat. breakfast and all the meals today. You are a great care giver and doing a fine job. Peace for your family and especially for your Dad.

    Thank you all for your thoughts and suggestions! The course can be done by paying 30 something dollars a month so I will sign up today!

    Just clearing the mantle has helped. The tv is on an old kitchen table and this blocks the fire place. I see for 100 dollars I can get a minimalist tv stand. I am looking into this.

    Thank you
    Rosemarie from Georgia

    We have "tip shops" and "op shops" here. Tip shops are at each rubbish dump. Instead of bringing stuff to be put into the rubbish dump, they take it to the tip shop (recovery and recycling) place next to the rubbish dump where it is sold for a greatly reduced price. We can get all sorts of stuff at a tip shop and I have picked up a couple antique tables ... and lots of other things like CDs, DVDs, my laptop table, etc.

    Op shops are thrift shops which usually have a lot if clothing and books but also furniture sometimes.

    If you have anything like that in your area, check them out. You might be able to find a nice TV stand for half that price.

    M in Oz
  • Machka9
    Machka9 Posts: 25,693 Member
    kymarai wrote: »
    Good Tuesday,
    Rosemarie I just wanted to jump into your car with you and hold you when i read your post! (((HUGS)))I am late to give suggestions and it seems a lot of us are of like minds. Even one thing at a time like the mantle is great. You have to eat the elephant one bite at a time. I love Cas and Dana! Cas with Clutterbug helped me realize I am not lazy or disorganized (most of the time) , I just have a different organizing style than my DH. When I needed to organize "my" room years ago, I put everything out in the hall, then figured out what and how things went back in. I can't do this when DH is home. He keeps everything, usually in twos or threes! While your son may be "on vacation" I agree with asking him for some help. He may surprise you. Maybe ask him to help in the area you spend the most time in outside of the bedroom. I love Machka's (?)suggestion of putting things in a different room that you are unsure of just to clear a space for you. We are all offering hugs and support. Pop in often if only to say you need a hug.

    Barbara[b/]- Thank you for Katla update. I know she misses Oregon, but am happy she is in a safe place.

    [bIAnnie     Continued hugs for you also (((HUGS))) You are between a rock and a hard spot. I think finding someone to sit with your dad, even after mom passes, is a great idea. Maybe the minister could come in once or twice a week to visit for an hour or so to give you some time. You are doing an amazing job caring for them both. Remember to care for you too! You are important to us.


    I am feeling better. Need to figure out cause for yeasts. So frustrating.

    I use few chemicals in my house...dishwasher detergent and toilet bowl cleaner. I use mainly Norwex products. Any suggestions for a natural cleaner for cabinets and flat surfaces? I am looking forward to a deep clean when Christmas comes down. I realized to other day that my hallway wall still has the dirt on it from where my German Shepard use to lay against the wall. I can keep things picked up, but dusting or deep cleaning are low on my list which isn't good since DH is allergic to dust mites. So suggestions would be great! Thank you!

    I need to set up bloodwork appointment. Ugh. Procrastination rearing it's head again. Need to get moving for today.

    Lots of love and respect for all of you ladies!

    Kylia in Ohio where winter has arrived for the second day

    Natural cleaners? Vinegar and baking soda.

    M in Oz
  • Machka9
    Machka9 Posts: 25,693 Member
    Had a great day at work coding with SQL. I was able to do some things I have not done before. I feel like I leveled up in the SQL game!

    At home, we've started watching Christmas movies.

    Plus I worked on laundry, tidied the area around my chair, did a bit with my cycling club, coloured and read.

    I walked a little over 30 km and climbed 20 flights of stairs.

    M in Oz
  • cityjaneLondon
    cityjaneLondon Posts: 12,792 Member
    Kylia - I use a spray bottle of dish soap, vinegar, rubbing alcohol and water. Good for everything except windows and mirrors.
    It smells like window cleaner.
    Bicarb and vinegar should not be used together, despite YouTube videos, as one is acid and one alkaline, so they cancel each other out! Both good at separate tasks.
    I will see if I can find the exact recipe..

    Love Heather UK xxxxxx
  • SophieRosieMom
    SophieRosieMom Posts: 3,706 Member
    edited December 2023
    Good morning, Collette is coming today so I'm getting things picked up and counters cleaned off.

    Rosemarie - isn't this a neat group of gals? Sounds like you have settled on getting some assistance in decluttering. <3

    Also, I am surprised that others think you are up to helping with caregiving at this time. I would have been irked like Machka was. Already busy with her husband and sorting out her own life. Some people are natural born caregivers and would love to be in a position to help, but I don't think I can ever go that route again, although I enjoyed being a hospice volunteer.

    Annie - thank you for the update on your mom, I am so happy to hear people are gathering around you in your mom's final days. <3 (((HUGS)))) <3 I would love to sit with your mom and be a companion for your dad during this time. During the final days of my mom's life, my dad was a basket case and he didn't have diagnosed dementia, but his thinking was certainly all messed up. Looking back, I wish I could have done a better job in being a support for him, but I know he appreciated just having me fly back to Indiana and being close.

    Before I forget - regarding decluttering - I discovered the "Free Box" outside the dog groomer's, where I'd been dropping off some of my husband's clothing and even food bags, is being constantly raided by a gal who lives across the road from the box. As soon as people drop things off, she scoots over and hauls the nice stuff to her place, sorts through it, sells some things on Ebay and who knows what happens to the rest. :( . And here I thought poor people were stopping by to grab a jacket or pair of slippers for themselves. Those of us who thought the same thing aren't too happy about it, and her reasoning is "well, it's free, so why not?" This discussion took place in the community section on Facebook. :o

    But, I know several other places in town that do have a free monitored clothing bank and I'll just rearrange my schedule and drop items off there since they generally don't open until later in the morning. And I'll still drop off items at the thrift stores that support the senior centers and charities.

    Machka - I love the idea of your "ops shop" and "tip shop".

    Michele - regarding that shot. My doc says that being around other people and being exposed to their germs actually strengthens our immune system. Maybe that's your doctor's reasoning. I would imagine you, being around a lot of people, have probably been exposed to every germ known to man by now and have generously shared them with Vince. :p

    Better get crackin'. Make it a great day, ladies! <3

    Lanette B)
    SW WA State


  • cityjaneLondon
    cityjaneLondon Posts: 12,792 Member
    edited December 2023
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    My sink has never been so shiny!!! Cleans most things. For windows and mirrors, leave out the dish soap.
    I bought spray bottles from Amazon.

    Love Heather UK xxxxxx
  • kevrit
    kevrit Posts: 4,392 Member
    2023 December Kindness


    Word of the Year: appreciate—Today I appreciate the Christmas Season.


    Meditation: daily. 18/30 (82%(started Feb)(94%,100%, 74%, 93%,100%,100%,100,100,83%
    Feeling sick all month. Colitis crap!

    Recommended exercise: cardio 5 days 30 min /23
    Strength all muscles 2 x 0/8 a week
    Flexible (yoga, stretching) /8 a week 10 min
    Balance 5 days 10 min /20

    1. cut back drinking and limit to 2 days a week. 0/8–(300%,100%,100%,100%,100%)
    4 months SOBER!
    2. Average 7,000 steps a week. 5907,5777,(7,700,100%-9851,100%-9526,100%-9,559,100%, -8347,100%—7465,100%—6328,90%—6059,87%—6458,92%,-6847,98%-84% 5882-)
    3. Update budget every 2 weeks 2/2 (10,00%) 50%
    4. Contact close family every week (4x) 229/208—(733%,100% My mom called me for a change, 100%)
    5. Contact Donat and sibs once a month (8x)99/96 100%)
    6. Weigh less last day of month compared to first until I reach 140. Start at 178.6,176,174.2,173.4,175.4,174,175.6,173.4, 172.2, 173.2, 173.4, 173.4 (600%) 100%,100%
    7. Develop a journaling practice by aiming to journal at least 5 days a week. 12/23. (681%,100,100,83)
    8. Read 12 books at least this year. 50/12
    (100%)
    9. Pay off credit card debt by January 2024 by making monthly payments to NDR/Reach Financial 12/12—(100%)
    10. Continue building emergency fund at SLFCU (min$25 a month)$25+$25+$71+700+25+25 +25+25 (100%) I put the money in, but end up taking it out.
    11. April started putting 4% on income in savings. 700,200,200, 107, 157,0,0,0,0
    500%) This has stopped. Spending too much.

    January Met —100%
    February met —-90%
    March met met —-90%
    April met——86.36%
    May met——-89%
    June met—-99%
    July met — met 81%
    August met—met 99%
    September met——99%
    October met —90.7%
    November met—75%
    December met—


    1.Spread kindness and share the December calendar with others. Sharing with my MFP friends.
    2. Contact someone you can’t be with to see how they are doing. Forgot to do this yesterday. Hope to do it today. I did this on Sunday 12/3.
    3. Offer to help someone who is facing difficulties at the moment. Helped my fellow host in learning what to do in 2 separate incidents with campers.
    4. Support a campaign, cause, or charity you really care about.
    5. Give a gift to someone who is homeless or lonely. Did not do this. No chance to.
    6. Leave a positive message for someone else to find. Did this yesterday.
    7. Give kind comments to as many people as possible today. I will try. A bit down today. Not feeling well.
    8. Do something helpful for a friend or family member. Will do!
    9. Notice when you’re hard on yourself or others and be kind instead. I will try to remember.
    10. Listen wholeheartedly to others without judging them. I need to learn to do this more.
    11. But an extra item and donate to a food bank. Did not have a chance to do this today.
    12. Be generous. Feed someone with food, love or kindness today.
    13. See how many be people you can smile at today. I didn’t count, but smiled at ask the hospital employees I meet yesterday while getting eye surgery.
    14. Share a happy memory or inspiring thought with a loved one. Will do!
    15. Say hello to your neighbor and brighten their day. Sounds like a plan for today!
    16. Look for something positive to say to everyone you meet today. My goal always!
    17. Give thanks. List the kind things others have done for you. Will do this in my journal.
    18. Ask for help and let someone else know the how of giving.
    19. Contact someone who may be alone or feeling isolated.
    20. Help someone by giving away something you don’t need.
    21. Appreciate kindness and thank people who do things for you.
    22. Congratulate someone for an achievement that may go unnoticed.
    23. Choose to give or receive the gift of forgiveness.
    24. Bring joy to others. Share something that made you laugh.
    25. Treat everyone with kindness including yourself.
    26. Get outside, pick up litter or do something kind for nature.
    27. Call a relative who is far away to say hello and have a chat.
    28. Be kind to the planet. Eat less meat and use less energy.
    29. Turn off digital devices and really listen to people.
    30. Let someone know how much you appreciated them and why.
    31. Plan some new acts of kindness for 2024.



    The results of your personality test are in. Here they are:
    Personality type: Logistician (ISTJ-T)
Traits: Introverted – 69%, Observant – 58%, Thinking – 75%, Judging – 56%, Turbulent – 54%
Role: Sentinel
Strategy: Constant Improvement
    Joined MFPL 5/26/2010

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