WOMEN AGES 50+ FOR DECEMBER 2023
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Tea towel is beautiful Heather you and John are wonderful artists and chefs
I basically rested most of the day..
Im in hysterics over Christmas Vacation they dont make movies like that anymore lol6 -
Heather – love the tea towel
pip – for some reason I was thinking they looked different. Where’s Yogi? That’s probably who I was thinking of
When we were coming home from Newcomer bowling tonight, a car pulled into our development. I didn’t recognize the license plate but that’s not unusual. Then the car turned up our street. Then….it stopped in front of our house. We could tell they were looking at the decorations and most likely listening to Santa. Just had to smile. Glad we're making someone's holiday a little brighter
Michele NC8 -
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Hello my friends.
Lisa and Allie and Barbara and the rest of you all, thanks for thinking of me.
My mother passed Tuesday around noon. Life has been a whirlwind since. We got some of the arrangements made. My sister has been a godsend. When she gets emotional, she likes to dig into a task. I never had a guest who washed her towels!
One of the challenges is finding the original will. Current thought is that it might be stashed in a safe deposit box. Dad thinks he might have one, but there's no key. I'm thinking we don't need an original will because all of her property was joint with my father. So there is nothing to actually inherit, it just continues to be his. But I need a legal opinion on that.
We haven't agreed yet on the timing or flow of the service. My brother in law keeps commenting and I am not convinced. He wants to have a reception at the church. The minister said to use a restaurant because the church has no staff to set up or clean up or decorate. He said it's too hard on the family to be doing all that. It's really odd that he said that, and unfair after my mom hosted so many coffee hours, but it still stands as his recommendation for whatever reason. Sounds to me like he got burned by people who left a mess.
Anyway, we have a few days to figure this out.
And that's where I am at, dealing with arrangements. My dad of course is devastated and walks around like a zombie. He keeps trying to help but getting in the way. For example, he latched on to the question of what to do with her books. I told him three times not to worry about it tonight. Some of those books are mine, anyway. But he won't let it go. I bet he tries to box up and give away my books. Then he was asking about her clothes. Geez that can really wait a few days if not months. Let's get through the insurance and the will and the funeral and the obituary first.
Other than that it's been very smooth. So not bad so far.
Annie in Delaware
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So very sorry Annie.
I am glad your sister is there to help.
Can you give your father a job to do ... vacuuming because there will be guests? Tidying the yard because there will be guests? Even something you've done recently ... just to keep him busy with something simple.
Machka in Oz5 -
Annie - My condolences. So glad your sister is with you. You are going through such a lot. My support is winging its way over the ocean. One step at a time. Just to get through a day is an achievement. It must feel like a whirlwind. Much love.
Heather UK xxxxxxxx3 -
Heather – love the tea towel
pip – for some reason I was thinking they looked different. Where’s Yogi? That’s probably who I was thinking of
When we were coming home from Newcomer bowling tonight, a car pulled into our development. I didn’t recognize the license plate but that’s not unusual. Then the car turned up our street. Then….it stopped in front of our house. We could tell they were looking at the decorations and most likely listening to Santa. Just had to smile. Glad we're making someone's holiday a little brighter
Michele NC
Yogi just wasn’t in that pic
Here ya go
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Annie: My sympathy on the loss of your Mom. May your Dad and your family find peace.
Best,
Rosemarie from Georgia3 -
Anne - my thoughts are with you.
Kim3 -
Annie- so sorry for your loss. It is a rough time but so glad your sister is there to help you and your dad through all of this.3
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Annie - so sorry. I hope things calm down soon. I like Matchka's suggestion for your dad.
Everyone take care, Sue in WA3 -
Annie, I’m so sorry to hear of your mom’s passing. I hope you are able to get thru everything with minimal stress. Good that your sister is there right now.
Evelyn, Vancouver Island2 -
drkatiebug wrote: »
Some of the biggest roadblocks to clearing clutter are based on emotional baggage
*I might need it
*I used to use it all the time
*It's filled with memories of my _______
*My _______ might want it
*It's worth a lot so I can't just give it away
*I need to find the right person to give it to
Those are only the ones that came to mind immediately. Once I had a plan for what I needed, the actual clearing was simple. Another good clutter clearing tip is to stop buying things that aren't consumableAllie sorry to hear about your fall Barbie in NW WA
Mine is ... there's just so much of it. Where do I even start!?
And in order to make a decent start, I am going to need a large block of time with nothing else planned. Where on earth do I find one of those??
I thought I might get started last winter but it was one of my busier winters. And now it is summer and nothing is going to get done inside.
M in Oz
I highly recommend Dana K White’s 5-step decluttering process. She is famous for decluttering without making a bigger mess and “progress and only progress.” She would argue that 5 minutes can make a difference, and I believe she is absolutely right.
Where do you start? With the easy stuff: trash, duh donations, things that have an established home - take them there now.
You do not need a large block of time. You can stop at any time. You may not be done, but your space will be better than it was when you started. Little by little, you chip away at it.
I am on top of the things that take 5 minutes. 😀
Every couple days I go through and tidy.
Rubbish gets taken out once a week.
The bathroom gets cleaned once a week.
Laundry gets folded and put away every couple weeks.
I decuttered and organised the dressing room about 4 years ago. It could do with going through it again but it's not urgent because it is about 85% neat.
I decluttered and organised the bathroom about 3 years ago and touched it up about 3 weeks ago.
I've done some decluttering and organising in the dining room which I took over as my space about 5 years ago.
Most of the house is reasonably good.
Except for the big projects:
- the home office
- the basement
Those projects are beyond the 5 minute tidy. I would need a large chunk of time to get anywhere!!
I have spent occasional evenings in the home office over the past few years so there are small pockets of related items together in boxes here and there ... vague hints of order. But that's the most I have accomplished in there, so I know it will take more than one evening!
The kitchen could use some work too but it is tricky because it is my husband's domain and if I am going to do something with it, I need to have a plan and do it after he goes to sleep at night.
M in Oz4 -
I'm so sorry, Annie. Take care.
Flea
Willamette Valley OR2 -
Oh Annie! So sorry for your loss. So glad that your sister is there to help you both through this. (((Hugs))) and prayers for the days ahead.
Take it one day at a time.3 -
Gratitudes:
Friday 12/15: Dentist had a cancellation, moved crown prep up to Monday 12/18! Makes me more confident the crown will be placed before Jan 23 MOHS surgery on face.
Belated welcome @bzemomjenn Jennifer in SC and congrats on taking of 87 lbs. Well done!
Tracey con VERY gratulations. Would love to hear your Christmas Traditions presentation.
Joy yum. Would you share your recipe? Do you make tarte au sucre as well?
Allie that pic of Homer, my eyes welled up. ((hugs))
Gina sorry for the loss of your aunt and for her daughter’s lack of grace. Your thoughtfulness counted even tho it wasn’t well received.
Rosemarie yours to Annie about a relationship with a home health agency for brief respite and backup just in case. Congrats on finding the blouse in another color and on sale
12/14: Move: ZERO sets PT, . Steps:3011Just skimmed through pg 38. More tomorrow.
Fuel: sugar in vs mfp=-1 CI<CO net=466 vits=.5
Live: Joe, readings, BP, ptT, ptS, H, filing, track Marshmints, DDS, T’s ornament exchange. Wt: 133.2
Later, lighter, lovelies!
Barbara, the Southern Oregon Coastie AHMOD
December: Move more: chair yoga, line dance, dailyish PT, play with dogs.
Fuel better: less sugar, CI<CO, dailyish vitamins.
Live NOW: dailyish time with Joe, readings, meditate 3 minutes/day. Open heart and mind before mouth.
2023: Be of good cheer.
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Annie - condolences and sending strength your way as you and your sis and dad navigate through these next few days. Thank you very much for keeping us in the loop,
((((HUGS))))
Lanette1 -
Good morning ladies.
Thank you for your condolences. Mom was a wonderful kind and loving person, and I will miss her terribly.
I got four hours of sleep, so that's decent under the circumstances. My sister is flying back to Tennessee today. I will miss her, even though I'm sure we will text. But I am reaching my fill of my brother in law. With family, there's always someone.
One thing that my sister did was reach out to my daughter who ghosted me years ago. She might come to the funeral, which adds layers of anxiety for me. My sister sees it as a chance to heal a rift. It would set me up to be ghosted all over again.
So I guess the next event is Christmas. Dad keeps worrying about finding the stockings. I hate the stupid stockings. But somehow filling them is my job. I am losing patience with my father. His communication and team skills are minimal. He constantly gets in the way and interrupts me. Partly because he is sexist, and partly inconsiderate. I need to work on my compassion there.
I zoom with my therapist in a few hours. There will be plenty of material. Then later is horseback riding. That will be fun, if a little cold.
Have a great day, ladies! I'm so thankful, again, to have you all in my pocket as I go through this.
Annie in Delaware
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Annie My heart hurts for you and your family. (((HUGS))). We will continue to keep you in our thoughts and prayers. Remember to BREATH.
Heather Your tea towel came out great!
Michele Your ability to know prices everywhere amazes me. My DH would like if I could do that. I ,however, choose to keep things simple because of time restraints. I get easily frustrated shopping around.
Not much here. Did gift giving with nephew's family last night. They were so appreciative. The kids are awesome. I got a new planner. Got one for my daughter and granddaughter as well. It is not one to leave laying about as it is full of cuss words, yet actually affirmations in a language they understand. The first page says:
You are an amazing human.
You have an awesome ability to learn and grow.
You will always be worthy of love.
Thanks for coming to my TED talk, b**ch.
It is called the F*** It planner. I usually go for something more sarcastic, but felt this one was perfect to help make 2024 everything I want. I got all the important family birthdays in it last night. Step one to a 2024 goal!
I love all the decorations, crafts, baking, and cooking you all do. I am enjoying them.
Still have a few gifts to wrap and still need to do the other saran wrap ball. Had a headache last night, plus company. Finished laundry last night. Remade bed with fresh linens. Dinner was simple. Venison burger with rice and brown gravy, canned beets, and rolls. Easy peasy. DH liked it.
Won't be a white Christmas here. 59°F and rain are forecasted for Christmas day!
Better get my day going. We are off work Christmas and Tuesday.
Hugs as this is a really hard time of year for lots of us.
Encouragement to be selfish in your self care!
Grateful for the community of you all!
Kylia in Ohio also thankful that after tonight the daylight starts getting longer!
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Morning ladies
Annie- my deepest condolences on the loss of your mom,Now here is something you might consider.. adult daycare..
My FIL went to one for a few years,it was wonderful and it would give you time to do what you want to do.
Like I said check into social services for and see what is available
It was a Godsend.
Doing laundry and going to go check it right now.4 -
Annie - I'm so sorry about your mom's death, and I know things aren't going to be any easier for a bit, just different. While the worry about her life and health is gone, now new worries are popping up left right and center. Just take a breath, and take the next step. For right now, you can count waking up, standing up and getting dressed as a win. The rest will be as it may. Hang on to the good, and let the bad go as much as you can.
Love,
Lisa in Arkansas8 -
Annie: Thinking of you. I hope the horseback riding is therapeutic! Unfortunately you still have your hands full with your Dad!
Michele: I hope Loki is okay!
Barbie Cat: Yes! The count down to Christmas has begun!
AuntiBK: Yes, One thing I have decided to do is cut back on bookclub! There is so much on my own I want to read! I will read several books for the book club a year and join the group at that time! I am going to try Tai Chi by zoom which will be less time consuming!
MachkA: I never heard of ops shop and tip shop. We have a thrift shop...mostly for clothes! I am amazed at all you do. I believe there is a season for major de-cluttering and down sizing. I guess my season for this has begun! I took a community college course on Access years ago. All I remember is something important about having a key!
Rebecca: I smiled at the red sneakers in your sister's picture!
Grandmallie: Wow! Miles is really concentrating on the ornament making!---Growing up!
Barbie: It's filled with memories is on of my road blocks for giving things away. I have about 30 copies of our wedding program from 30 plus years ago. Time to save 1 or 2 copies and part with the rest!
Carol: I love a bad day does not equal a bad life.
Dr. Katiebug: I have started the videos and enjoying them!
Heather: Interestingly I have gotten less cards than usual. I did manage to send a few out. Enjoyed the picture of you all eating. The food looks inviting. The cake looks delicious. I love the felt tree decorations!
Flea: May peace be with you as you pass the first anniversary of the passing of your mother.
Lisa: I will look into a FitBit watch. I would like the reminder to keep moving! I love your description of your day in the living room. Sounds relaxing!
Margaret Turk: i have never had a fluroide treatment at the dentist. I don't think I would pay for one. Congrats on getting under 180. Alas I got down to 185 and am back up to 190. I eat very little. I need to move more!
Rebecca: I can feel how much you enjoyed your meal! I hope you do it again real soon!
Well I got up through the night to work on the house and slept a couple hours at a time. I feel good right now. I will nap later. I am ready for the cleaner to arrive at 1pm. The decluttering course Dr. Katiebug recommended suggested ensuring the master bed room is clean so that you have a place of reprieve from the rest of the house. I took this to heart and de-cluttered my bed room and now I will enjoy being in this room while my son and daughter in law are here.
I have decided to change the living room. Not money I expected to spend but I had an old time Victorian theme and am ready to move on from this. I found someone to come tomorrow to move the couch into the family room. I am going to ask him to take the red rug with large flowers away. And the maroon recliner that seems heavy looking to me now.
Last night I purchased a yellow rug which will look good with a Baby blue couch. There is a Baby Blue couch on Wayfair I might take a chance on. There is also a baby blue leather couch at Macy's. But that is more high end. I would probably go to Atlanta to look at that in person if I went that route. Probably not. It is not necessary. So the room will be a cheerful blue and yellow. I will purchase accent chairs later in the year! Very different then Victorian!
My son asked me if I was sure I wanted to purchase the rug on impulse. I told him I had been looking for 90 minutes!
Peace to everyone!
Rosemarie from Georgia
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Annie, my thoughts and prayers are with you.
It is a pleasure to have my sister and her husband here. The house feels so different with movement other than Ella (my dog) and myself moving around. I'm glad I put up some decorations and it is beginning to feel like Christmas.
Happy Winter Solstice,
Betsy in NW WA7 -
Today was my last day of work this year. I go back on January 9th.
I accomplished pretty much what I wanted to before I left work today so I don't plan to think about it (much) for the next 18 days.
This evening, we visited our neighbours for about half an hour. We're getting to know them, thanks to my husband being more social than he used to be.
Then went to Bunnings (hardware store) to get something for a rather large and challenging garden project which I hope we can pull off in the next little while. More later.
And dinner at our favourite Mexican place, Zambreros.
One of the decluttering things I have been doing is deleting emails. I've gotten rid of about 10,000 in the past few days.
I have more clutter on my computer than I do in most of the house!
Machka in Oz6 -
Annie, Condolences on your mother’s death. I like Machka’s suggestion to find a task that he can do.
Rosemarie, I’m glad you’re enjoying the videos. The one most helpful to me was how to deal with paper clutter, but we all have our personal challenges.
Machka, I think you missed my point about the 5 minutes. I will try to explain it better. I’m not saying 5 minutes will get it done, I’m saying it will make it better. Take your office, for example. Taking 5 minutes to look for trash and return things with an established home is much better than looking at it in overwhelm and doing nothing. The next time you have 5 minutes. Do it again. If you have 30, even better, but 5 will make a difference.5 -
Annie - I’m so sorry for your loss. You will continue to be in my prayers.
Okie in the TX Hill Country1 -
Annie, I am so sorry for your loss. You were a rock for your mother during her illness and one item at a time you will get through what has to be done now.
When my mother died, Jake and I stopped at the store on our way home from the hospital and bought a half gallon of ice cream for each of us. We each ate our entire half gallon right out of the carton as we made a list of the people we had to call and the chores we had to do. Barbie in NW WA 8 -
Greetings from another gray Arkansas River Valley morning, here on the shortest day of the year,
The cloud cover does trap the heat; it's nearly 50 F (10 C) already, supposed to get a bit warmer still--then the rain will be coming in tonight and on and off through the weekend. We'll have a "wet Christmas," rather than a white one! Snow, which we don't get every year, is January/February here.
The plan for Christmas Day is pretty much lots of hors d'oeuvres, all the things you usually snack on all day before a holiday dinner that make it hard to eat dinner. We'll just skip the dinner part. Right now I've got the ingredients for keto sausage balls, and pigs in a blanket. I will put together a cheese/meat tray. Still thinking about something sweet, maybe cinnamon twists.
The plan for the two of us for next week in general is to get quite a bit more done on the sunroom in the days between the 23rd and January 1. Corey will have eight of those nine days off. Getting the room dried in was key to being able to work throughout the winter, which is why we wanted that roof on! We have everything that we need except the final floor covering, including the furniture, which will need to be assembled.
I woke up pain-free (ish) which I do appreciate, and in Corey's good morning call, he drove it home that this is because I did very little yesterday. He's right, dang it, but it's so hard to stop and simply rest! I don't mean I don't move at all, I just mean I stay off my feet most of the day, other than making sure I move at least 250 steps an hour (Fitbit reminders, which really do help--I either walk down to check the mail, or just walk around the house). Maybe if I can string a few days of this in a row, instead of pushing so hard, things will start healing.
Gah. I hate sitting still. I'll think about it.
Love y'all,
Later,
Lisa in AR7
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