Horrible experience in the gym tonight

Sovictorrious

You don't like rap???

clarabkyu

It seems more like the intimidation factor and the fact that it's something that is very annoying and rude to OP that's preventing her from going to get what she needs in the free weights area. Totally understandable. Unfortunately, what you need to do, OP, is exactly what everyone says; just ask. It helps if you ask in a booming voice, don't be timid. Sometimes there are some muscle heads who will act horrible, but that's when you give them some attitude back. If a muscle head can't intimidate a woman, they usually turn to being polite to make up for their mistake. (My personal experience talking, sorry if it sounds like I'm generalizing to all guys who workout a lot)

At the rec on campus there are a lot of guys who are like that. Luckily, they're still in college and most are well-mannered so when a girl asks to use a bench or a few weights or a bar, they'll oblige.

Cranquistador

They seem pretty rude to me.

I am so glad I had the $ to buy my own gym equipment & set it up in my house, & avoid people like this.

People like that are probably the ones who leave Methicillin Resistant Staph aureus (MRSA) on all the equipment, anyway, uugh.

Excuse me? I had MRSA and trust me it has nothing to do with what people are like. WHAT does that even mean?

FishingFan123

You know what it means. If you don't ask the CDC.

Cranquistador

You know what it means.

If I knew what you meant I would not ask you to clarify.

DavPul

They seem pretty rude to me.

I am so glad I had the $ to buy my own gym equipment & set it up in my house, & avoid people like this.

People like that are probably the ones who leave Methicillin Resistant Staph aureus (MRSA) on all the equipment, anyway, uugh.

Can we put some parameters on "probably"? I mean, how many people contract this MRSA you speak of from public gym equipment? Has there been some outbreak that the CDC is trying to keep under wraps? And if so, is it more likely to be spread by rude people? I mean, sense these rude people refuse to share, it seems like they would be helping to stem the spread of this MRSA. Does not spreading MRSA make people more rude, or less rude?

And by "rude people" I mean people that are minding their own business and aren't blessed with the ability to read minds, since mind reading would be required because the OP never once asked to use any of the gym equipment. Well, not with her voice, I mean. I guess she did try to signal to them. With her mind.

MyChocolateDiet

It seems more like the intimidation factor and the fact that it's something that is very annoying and rude to OP that's preventing her from going to get what she needs in the free weights area. Totally understandable. Unfortunately, what you need to do, OP, is exactly what everyone says; just ask. It helps if you ask in a booming voice, don't be timid. Sometimes there are some muscle heads who will act horrible, but that's when you give them some attitude back. If a muscle head can't intimidate a woman, they usually turn to being polite to make up for their mistake. (My personal experience talking, sorry if it sounds like I'm generalizing to all guys who workout a lot)

At the rec on campus there are a lot of guys who are like that. Luckily, they're still in college and most are well-mannered so when a girl asks to use a bench or a few weights or a bar, they'll oblige.

^this...with the help of hubby well timed support and advices I am learingin to be quite assertive and stand and hold my ground in a much more hostile environment where the stakes are much higher. with grace, no less. You can do it OP! :flowerforyou:

MyChocolateDiet

They seem pretty rude to me.

I am so glad I had the $ to buy my own gym equipment & set it up in my house, & avoid people like this.

People like that are probably the ones who leave Methicillin Resistant Staph aureus (MRSA) on all the equipment, anyway, uugh.

Can we put some parameters on "probably"? I mean, how many people contract this MRSA you speak of from public gym equipment? Has there been some outbreak that the CDC is trying to keep under wraps? And if so, is it more likely to be spread by rude people? I mean, sense these rude people refuse to share, it seems like they would be helping to stem the spread of this MRSA. Does not spreading MRSA make people more rude, or less rude?

And by "rude people" I mean people that are minding their own business and aren't blessed with the ability to read minds, since mind reading would be required because the OP never once asked to use any of the gym equipment. Well, not with her voice, I mean. I guess she did try to signal to them. With her mind.

I just dont' get why we can't just call it staph?

JoRocka

They seem pretty rude to me.

I am so glad I had the $ to buy my own gym equipment & set it up in my house, & avoid people like this.

People like that are probably the ones who leave Methicillin Resistant Staph aureus (MRSA) on all the equipment, anyway, uugh.

Rude people are more likely to have infections?

I sincerely doubt this.

Re-read: "probably"

The skill of Reading, is something most people wish they had. It may just benefit you in life.

Are you being serious? Really? You're calling me out on reading comprehension for equating "probably" with "more likely"? What exactly do you think "probably" means?

:huh:

The CG (all hail) prohibit me from giving you the response your comment deserves. Instead, I'll just suggest that you heed your own advice. Reading...it isn't just a town in Pennsylvania.

its a railroad right? amirite?

please marry me

fitfreakymom

I'm a bit surprised by some of these comments. You have a legitimate issue here and I'm not sure most of the men here get it. How about going to management and suggesting a women's weight area/room? This is an intimidating issue at least. And yes there is value in confronting or asking them. But there is also such a thing as gym etiquette and you might look around and see if there are places that value such etiquette. At my gym there are busy periods, which I avoid if possible...personal preference.

Much luck on this!!! And don't give up!!

I am not really sure what is intimidating here, all she needs to do is say excuse me are you using this or that and chances are they will say no go ahead or yes and I will be done in 5 or 10 min etc.

jofjltncb6

(Hey now...let's not lose sight of the important issue here...and that is how my equating "more likely" with "probably" is a failure in my reading comprehension.)

MyChocolateDiet

I'm interested to know what people think about this and what I should do.

I've belonged to my gym for 18 months, been seeing a personal trainer regualrly most of that time aas well as coming in on my own. I have always used the freeweights area as part of my programme which and am lifting fairly decent sized weights. I'm not on Stronglifts or anything like that but I am lifting. I've lost weight, got leaner, can see muscles emerging, feel stronger and gone down nearly 2 dress sizes. All good.

BUT over the time I've been there the gym has progressively got less and less friendly feeling, especially if you are a woman. OK if you want to faff around on some of the machines, run on the treadmills or prance about in Zumba but not when using the weights area. It was always used a lot by big muscly guys admiring themselves in the mirrors and there were never enough weights in the ranges commonly used by women. And they did tend to take up more space than they really needed. But usually they were OK. and made room for you.

But lately it feels like they have got a lot worse. Spreading out everywhere, dominating the area, turning the Tv channel to sports or MTV and putting the volume right up loud, sitting on the benches checking texts between sets, three guys taking over 2-3 machines or the chin up area and rotating amongst themselves so that no one else can get at it for ages. Basically acting as it they own it. The staff, virtually all male, also seem to encourage this, or at least don't discourage it. Not that they leave reception that often.

So tonight .....
I wanted to do some shoulder presses using a weighted bar (I am getting up to 17.5kg, not that heavy matbe but heavy for me). But there is no benches free, and 3 of the weights bars I might use are not on the rack but over with a group of guys, who are not actually using them but placed in a difficult to get to way that makes it clear they have commandeered them. So that is deadlifts out if the question as well. The TV is at max volume on some horrible rap music type channel. There are huge dumb bells and weights bars with massive plates all over the floor. There is lots of joking about and laughter going on but no a lot of actual lifting. I lurk, uncomfortable and unsure. One guy can see I want the bench he is sitting on (not doing anything) but tries to not catch my eye. Another guy makes a big deal of going around me to get some weights, as if I am in his way (I'm not). I I feel unwelcome. There are definitely no other women anywhere near this area.

So I give up and go back to the floor area, thinking I wll do some weighted lunges or glute bridges or dorsal raises, something.... It's crowded as usual. And one guy has collected up virtually all the available equipment - bosu ball, swiss ball, 2 step benches, a range of dumbells, you name it, and is hoarding them in the corner whilst doing his workout in front of them. The message is clear. What he doesn't have in his pile, the personal trainers are using with clients. 2 other guys are boxing (not together) over by the mirrors, taking up loads of floor space. Going over there is out of the question. There is only one girl in the area and she is also looking a bit lost and uncertain. She gives up and I see her head for a treadmill.

So I leave. Fed up and p*d off at the selfish, inconsiderate behaviour and the air of testosterone everywhere I come home and rant here. So am I being over sensitive? I am a professional female over 40 for pete's sake. Why do I feel so unable to stick up for myself? Should I complain to the manager about it? Why do guys do this? Or should i just find another gym...

Soooooooo.....the gym was crowded today, huh?

Cranquistador

They seem pretty rude to me.

I am so glad I had the $ to buy my own gym equipment & set it up in my house, & avoid people like this.

People like that are probably the ones who leave Methicillin Resistant Staph aureus (MRSA) on all the equipment, anyway, uugh.

Can we put some parameters on "probably"? I mean, how many people contract this MRSA you speak of from public gym equipment? Has there been some outbreak that the CDC is trying to keep under wraps? And if so, is it more likely to be spread by rude people? I mean, sense these rude people refuse to share, it seems like they would be helping to stem the spread of this MRSA. Does not spreading MRSA make people more rude, or less rude?

And by "rude people" I mean people that are minding their own business and aren't blessed with the ability to read minds, since mind reading would be required because the OP never once asked to use any of the gym equipment. Well, not with her voice, I mean. I guess she did try to signal to them. With her mind.

I just dont' get why we can't just call it staph?

we could...it's just that it is resistant to many antibiotics, so it is much more dangerous. Scary stuff.

MyChocolateDiet

You know what it means. If you don't ask the CDC.

*dialsphonenumbertocdc* CAN EVERYBODY PLEASE STAPH TALKING....!?!?!?! I'M TRYNA TALK ON TEH PHONNNNNNNNEEEE!!!

Cranquistador

OP did you ever go back and try, "scuse me? how many sets do you have left?" and smile?

MyChocolateDiet

You don't like rap???

this. i think this was about more than them just being "men" if you knowhaimean?

Sarauk2sf

They seem pretty rude to me.

I am so glad I had the $ to buy my own gym equipment & set it up in my house, & avoid people like this.

People like that are probably the ones who leave Methicillin Resistant Staph aureus (MRSA) on all the equipment, anyway, uugh.

Can we put some parameters on "probably"? I mean, how many people contract this MRSA you speak of from public gym equipment? Has there been some outbreak that the CDC is trying to keep under wraps? And if so, is it more likely to be spread by rude people? I mean, sense these rude people refuse to share, it seems like they would be helping to stem the spread of this MRSA. Does not spreading MRSA make people more rude, or less rude?

And by "rude people" I mean people that are minding their own business and aren't blessed with the ability to read minds, since mind reading would be required because the OP never once asked to use any of the gym equipment. Well, not with her voice, I mean. I guess she did try to signal to them. With her mind.

Yep. Funny, I actually had staph....got it in the ICU, not the gym. Does that make me rude, or the victim of a rude person?

Also, if people are going to use the fancy words...use the full fancy words - it's Methicillin-resistant Staphylococcus aureus.

Cranquistador

You know what it means. If you don't ask the CDC.

LOL i did not ask you what MRSA means, sweetheart.

MyChocolateDiet

They seem pretty rude to me.

I am so glad I had the $ to buy my own gym equipment & set it up in my house, & avoid people like this.

People like that are probably the ones who leave Methicillin Resistant Staph aureus (MRSA) on all the equipment, anyway, uugh.

Can we put some parameters on "probably"? I mean, how many people contract this MRSA you speak of from public gym equipment? Has there been some outbreak that the CDC is trying to keep under wraps? And if so, is it more likely to be spread by rude people? I mean, sense these rude people refuse to share, it seems like they would be helping to stem the spread of this MRSA. Does not spreading MRSA make people more rude, or less rude?

And by "rude people" I mean people that are minding their own business and aren't blessed with the ability to read minds, since mind reading would be required because the OP never once asked to use any of the gym equipment. Well, not with her voice, I mean. I guess she did try to signal to them. With her mind.

Yep. Funny, I actually had staph....got it in the ICU, not the gym. Does that make me rude, or the victim of a rude person?

Also, if people are going to use the fancy words...use the full fancy words - it's Methicillin-resistant Staphylococcus aureus.

maybe she just didn't want her word to be censored.

fitfreakymom

also bring your own music and headset.